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Tobio never planned for anyone to find out his secret.
Keyword, planned. Unfortunately, things don’t always go as planned.
A clear sunny day with heat scorching down can turn into a pounding storm soaking everything in its path in mere seconds; ruining the joy and comfort of the clear day. In Tobio’s case, revealing a secret he hadn’t ever planned to reveal, especially not to his boyfriend, Shoyou.
Tobio and Shoyou were having a study session, as per usual; the day was nice and perfect for studying. It was a perfect mix of warm and cool making it perfect to sit outside and study—it also helped with distractions. Everything was going amazing until the rain started. Tobio and Shoyou got soaked and had to run inside, however that wasn’t the issue. In fact, it wasn’t a problem in the slightest; both of their laughs filled the room as Shoyou made a passing comment about how soaked everything was and smiles were shared between the two.
The problem occurred when Tobio went to change into clothes that weren’t soaked and get a new outfit for Shoyou. He should’ve expected it. With the rain pounding on the window and the wind blowing hard enough to move branches, of course it would thunder—the first boom, and all the smaller mini booms that came after, scared Tobio to his core.
He didn’t know where this fear came from, but it had been there all his life. He had dealt with countless nights of sitting in his room trying to block out the noise and letting fear overcome him. The loudness and suddenness of the thunder sent panic throughout Tobio’s body as he felt his stomach drop and his breath hitch. He felt the urge to go and hide, to protect himself, and—most of all—to panic.
There was only one issue.
Shoyou waiting for him just outside the room. Tobio couldn’t let Shoyou see him in a panic: that’s the last thing he’d let anyone see, no less Shoyou. Worried thoughts ran through Tobio’s head: thoughts filled with worry over how Shoyou would react. Would Shoyou still want to be with him? Tobio would just have to last panic-free until the thunder stopped—it couldn’t be that hard.
He couldn’t be more wrong.
He walked out of the room and gave Shoyou his change of clothes and the ginger rushed off to the bathroom to change, yelling a quick “I love you!”, as he always did when they parted ways—no matter how long they would be apart. Tobio had calmed down a bit from the last bit of thunder at this point and felt confident he could make it through the storm.
However, it seemed the storm had other plans for Tobio. The pounding of the rain in the window got harder and another flash of lightning struck, the thunder ricocheting not only a second after, much louder than the first time, and lasting for what felt like ages.
The booming was all Tobio heard. He didn’t hear Shoyou leave the bathroom, he didn’t hear Shoyou talking to him, he didn’t hear Shoyou’s worried voice when he realized Tobio wasn’t being himself.
It didn't take long for Shouyou's face, filled with worry, to reappear in front of him. The ginger walked over and grabbed his shoulders, turning Tobio to face him. He could see on Shouyou's face, etched with concern, that he knew something was wrong with Tobio.
Then the tears came.
It didn’t matter usually. Most times he was in his room and could hide to give himself some sort of comfort. If tears came no one was around to see it and he could do his best to forget it happened at all. This time, there was a person with him: a person who wouldn't forget something like this easily.
It wasn’t just any person either, it was Shoyou. Tobio was ashamed to cry in front of him, especially over something as stupid as loud noises in the sky. Tobio tried to wipe the tears away before Shoyou noticed, but it was no use: they kept coming.
Tobio doesn’t remember what Shoyou’s expression was after that. One minute he could see the distressed expression in his boyfriend’s eyes and the next he was buried in said boyfriend’s shoulder and the soothing smell of lavender on Shouyou’s clothing helped calm him down. Shoyou held Tobio close for a while after that, whispering words of comfort into his ears until Tobio’s breathing slowed and he felt safe in his boyfriend's arms.
Then came the third burst of thunder.
Caught off guard, Tobio flinched at the noise and felt his panic building up again; Shoyou continued to hold him and whisper comforting words into his ears through all of it, never once hesitating. Although it helped him calm down a bit, the pit in Tobio’s stomach didn’t go away. Shoyou pulled away from Tobio and sat down next to him, grabbed something out of his pocket.
Shoyou held it out for Tobio to see, and, in the darkness of the house, Tobio couldn’t tell what it was at first. A flash of lightning helped him see that it was one of Shoyou’s headphones.
“It’s so you can’t hear the thunder,” Shoyou said; his voice was soft and comforting, and exactly what Tobio needed right now.
Tobio grabbed the side Shoyou was offering out to him and put it in his ear, scooting closer to Shoyou so the headphones wouldn't stretch out. This wasn’t the first time they’d shared headphones, but somehow this time felt more intimate than any time before. Shoyou wrapped his hand around Tobio’s and based on his tight grip, Tobio knew he wasn't letting go anytime soon.
Shoyou turned on one of their many workout playlists and turned up the volume, blocking out the noise of the storm and thunder around them within seconds. Thunder shook the sky but Tobio didn’t hear it, lightning flashed seconds later and it allowed Tobio to see his boyfriend looking up at him and giving him the cutest smile he’d seen in a while.
It wasn’t before long the ginger fell asleep leaning on Tobio’s shoulder, still holding his hand. Tobio didn’t mind though, he enjoyed the warmth of Shoyou’s hand and the comfort of Shoyou’s body leaning onto him. It reminded him of whenever they came home on the bus after matches, too tired to care and falling asleep leaning on each other—a soothing thought.
“I love you,” Tobio whispered to the fast asleep ginger, and closed his eyes. Soon Tobio’s eyes fluttered as he let himself succumb to the ease of sleep, his head slowly falling to lean on top of Shouyou’s.
The next day the two walked to school together, as they usually did. Shoyou hadn’t mentioned the night before or Tobio’s fear at all throughout the day, it was as if none of it happened. Shoyou went about his day as normal, interacted with Tobio as normal, everything was the same as it usually was—which worried Tobio slightly. Tobio had thought he embarrassed Shoyou, but Shoyou’s behavior didn’t seem to match up with that.
On the walk home, Shoyou continued to talk about whatever came to his mind: it was usual for them to do this. Sometimes Tobio would even get excited and before long they were getting yelled at for being too loud. Usually though, they never talked about anything too serious. What a surprise it was for Tobio when Shoyou’s loud and bubbly voice went to soft and calming.
‘’To-chan, it's okay to be vulnerable with me,’’ Shoyou said and turned to look Tobio in the eyes, ‘’I'm not going to judge you, I’d never do that. You’re still the amazing Tobio who I fell in love with, even if you can't be the perfect person you want to be. I love you and everything about you. Don’t try to be perfect around me, just try to be you because you are perfect in my eyes.’’
Shoyou’s words made Tobio feel calm, like a weight had been taken off his shoulders. Tobio wrapped his hand around Shouyou’s, and the rest of their walk was silent. The silence wasn’t bad at all. You don't always need words to understand each other, sometimes being with the love of your life spoke more than thousands of words could ever.
That night, when Tobio got home, alone this time, he hadn’t expected the previous night to be mentioned again between him and his boyfriend; he thought their talk on the way home was plenty enough about the subject. This allowed Tobio to be met with a cute surprise when his phone lit up with a text message while he was brushing his teeth.
“if ur ever alone in thunder again and im not able to call u, put this on high enough so that u cant hear the thunder and try to sleep <3”
“[audio attachment]”
Tobio opened the audio and listened to it, a smile overcoming him as he forgot about his worries and he let himself be surrounded by his boyfriend’s soothing voice.
Sometimes plans don’t go as intended, and that can be the best thing.