Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Second chances do come your way. Like trains, they arrive and depart regularly. Recognizing the ones that matter is the trick.” - Jill A. Davis

-

“And don't worry, M̵̜̄r̶͙̀ͅ.̷̮̣̄ ̴̱͘H̶͂͜a̵̺̼͋̇ŕ̵̫̣t̵̲͗l̴̠̇͛ẹ̷͊̇ỹ̴͔̗... You're among friends here. This is where everyone ends up, once they become...troublesome.”

Those were some of the last words that I heard once I realized what I was.
I was - no. I became a truck. And that’s all I’ll ever will be. All because I had to speak out about the truth behind Sodor, All the Bio-fused engines, the truth behind Thomas, everything. Now, everyone saw me as the scapegoat for everything that happened. Now that I’m a bloody truck, nobody will know who I am. And they’d probably will not even bother to look for me. Everyone will forget me.
I'll soon forget who I am.

…

So, this is where all the other whistleblowers like me end up, right? This warehouse is full of trucks, and I'm one of them... The warehouse, this Hell I know reside in. It literally is a living Hell. What did I do. To deserve a punishment like this? All for just speaking my mind to the media I guess… This Hell, it smells horrible. It’s filled with rotten wood and decay from all the other bio-fused trucks. Or maybe the smell is me. My body is slowly dying from the inside-out… My time is running out.

…

My memory have gotten worse as time passed… How long have I even been here…? It has been… I-It has been… I… I can’t remember! I don’t know where I am! I don’t know! I don’t know! I don’t know!... What do I know…? The only thing I do know is this pain… This pain in my body. It seems to get worse every day! It hurts so much... It’s killing me! I want to scream in agony from this pain! But I have no mouth! I cannot scream for help! But I need It! I need help! I need this pain to go away! Someone please! SOME screams were muffled… No one comes… I feel some kind of wetness roll down from my eyes… I’m crying… Crying from what? I guess… I’m crying from everything that’s happen…

…

…This is it for me… I’m going to die here. I’m going to die in this prison, in this hellhole! No one will know where I am, or who I am for that matter. I’ll just die here... alone… With no one… I begin to close my eyes as I feel death wash over me. Tears stream down my face… Suddenly, I hear someone talking in front of me. I look up with my blurred vision to see a silhouette of a person with a train was in front of me. Did that old fat person come back or something? No, this person isn’t fat at all. And, why is there a small train in here? My questions went answered as they spread some kind of dust on me. As I closed my eyes, the dust began to sparkle and shine. It was weird, but it looked nice. It was like some kind of… Shiny, Gold dust… That was the last thing I saw before I blacked out…

…

…It is dark. It is silent. There is no more pain. There is no bad smell. What’s going on?

…

I slowly open my eyes. There is a bright light and blurry vision at first. My eyes begin to adjust. I am staring. Am… Am I looking up at a ceiling? That’s weird… I’m suppose to be a truck! I would have to be up-right to be looking at a ceiling. I try and move. I expect to tip over or not move at all. Instead, I felt myself RISE from a bed… Wait… I’m in a bed?! I sit up from the bed. I looked around and turned my… Head! I have a head again! I lift something heavy from both sides of my body! They were arms! I actually had arms and hands. I used my hands to feel myself. I had a face! A face not made of wood and metal! I was made out of full flesh and bone! No metal, no wood, nothing! I had a body of a human again! I… I was human… I was human again… I was person, and NOT a truck rotting away in a room of death and decay!... I’m not a truck… I am someone else… Who am I?... I suddenly remember a name… A familiar name that I should know very well.

My name is Keith Hartley. And this is my story of how I got a second chance at life.

Chapter Text

“Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real.” - Cormac McCarthy

-

I sat up from the bed and began to think. ‘Where am I? ’ I look around the room that I was in. I was in a Bedroom of some sort. It had the a standard closet, a bedside table with a lamp and an alarm clock on top, a window draped with curtains, a drawer, a small bathroom- Wait a second… This was my old bedroom when I was living on Sodor. I couldn’t believe it. I was finally home. “I…I’m h-home.” I said out loud. I began to cough after I said that. My throat felt scratchy. My voice sounded as if I have never used it. Though, I guess it makes sense. After so long of being a truck, I wasn’t able to talk at all with no mouth! I could only make muffled cries and other sounds. I coughed a bit more. This time, it felt a bit more painful. Perhaps, I needed water for my throat.

I preceded to try and get up from the bed. My lower half of my body felt a sore. I clenched my teeth and panted a bit from the pain. I stopped there and tried to call myself down. Slowly, but carefully, I got up from the bed and tried to stand up. It felt weird, trying to use my legs again. I haven’t used my legs in… Well, who knows how long? I used the bedside table for support as I put one foot, after the other. Soon enough, I began walking to the bathroom.

I opened the bathroom door, and stepped inside. It looked just as I remembered it. A shower, a counter with a sink, a toilet, and a mirror. I went up to the sink and grabbed a cup that was placed upon the counter. I filled it with water and began to drink. As I placed the cup down, I noticed my reflection in the mirror. I was wearing my old Fireman uniform from when I was working on the Sodor Railway. I looked surprisingly younger than I remembered. Last time I was human, i remembered being… Maybe around 50 or 60. But now, I looked as if I was around my early 30’s at least. I smiled a little. I was glad to have some youth again. It made me feel… Happy. But this made me ask something.

“Wait… What year is it?”

I got out of the bathroom and walked out of my bedroom. I looked around to see my old home. The sense of familiarity comforted me. I walked down the stairs of the two-story house. I then walked through the living room and into the kitchen. I saw a calendar on my old fridge and looked at it. The calendar read:

October 5th, 1978. It was 1978?

That shouldn’t be right… It was the 20th century, last I’ve heard. I looked around again and saw the curtains to the backyard of the house. I opened them to look outside. I expected to see dull grey clouds on a dull day. Instead, it was bright with blue skies and white fluffy clouds. There I heard birds chirp and the sound of children playing in the distance.

I stepped back from the curtains. No… This can’t be real… This is all too perfect for this to be real! This had to be a dream or something! I was still in that warehouse slowly dying from infections in my exposed organs! All of the pain from the infections is making me insane and making me have this dream! I would prove it! I would prove I was dreaming! First, I used one of my hands and pinched my other arm to see if I was dreaming. I grit my teeth when I felt pain from the pinch. No. It can’t be possible… I pinched again. And again, I felt pain.

This wasn’t a dream at all. It was reality. A question still remained. “How am I here? How am I still alive? How am I human again?”

Chapter Text

“Right now everything looks so strange to me, as if I don't belong here. It's me that's out of place. And the worst thing is that I feel there's somewhere I do belong, but I just can't find it.” - L.J. Smith

-

I decided to go outside of my house to get a clear view. Outside, it was so beautiful. There were blue skies and there was fresh air. I slowly stepped on the sidewalk and began to walk. Walking always seemed to help me clear my mind. Though, this walk didn’t help me clear my mind this time. There were questions buzzing around my head. I thought to myself as I entered a small town. ‘I still don’t understand… Why is Sodor seem so… Cheerful?’ None of this made any sense… After a while, I began to notice that the buildings in the small part of the town were not run down or decaying. The buildings and shops were bright and colorful! People who passed by me gave a simple “Good Morning!” or a “Hello!” to me. It was as if I was put into some children’s book! It made me… A little uncomfortable…

‘Wait! If this town isn’t run down, does that mean…’

A very familiar suddenly rang through. It was a train's whistle! A sudden realization went through me. I began to run. Is it true? Could it really be true? Yes, it was. “The Sodor Railway...” I said to myself. There is was. I was at the entrance to the platform of the Sodor Railway. “No way…” It couldn’t be possible! I thought the Sodor Railway was abandoned! Then again, my calendar in my old home said it was 1978, so the Railway hasn’t been shut down yet! I took a deep breath as I entered the station platform and looked around. There were so many people walking around waiting for their trains and what not. Everything seemed normal for all I could see.

“Ah! Keith Hartley!” I froze in my tracks as I heard that voice. No… Not him… It couldn’t be… “Pleasure to see you now, Keith!” I turned around to see an all too familiar face. Sir Topham Hatt. That fat- “Though I must ask you, Keith. Why did you arrive so early? Your shift starts in fifteen minutes. That’s quite early for you!” It takes all of my strength not to walk up and punch that fat bastard in the face. I stared at him for a second, my anger for him becomes fear. That fat fuck was the one who wanted me to become a troublesome truck! What if he does it again!? “Um, Keith? Are you okay?” I looked him. I gulped down a bit of anxiety. 'Just lie Keith, maybe he’ll buy it!’ I thought to myself. “Well, I just wanted to, uh… See my favorite railway, you know!” I nervously laugh. The fat bastard smiled at me. “That’s a good employee! If you want, you can get ready now!” He said, before leaving.

Once I made sure he was gone, I exhaled in relief. ‘God. That was a close one!’ I thought. But, something seemed very, very wrong with that fat fuck. He was… Nice to me. He was actually nice to me! That had to be the most weirdest thing I have ever thought of. Never would I think I’d hear the words Topham and Nice in the sentence... He said that I should get to work. I was still a fireman here? That’s strange. I let out a sigh and begrudgingly headed to Tidmouth Sheds. “What train was I going to have to work on?” I wondered.

I finally arrived at Tidmouth Sheds. Since no one else was there yet, I decided to wait. It was peaceful at the sheds. Nothing to really worry about. Without warning, I heard a grumbling noise. I looked around. No one in sight. It sounded like someone was trying to wake up. Then, I heard the doors to one of the sheds open. I spun around. A train was coming out of the shed. The train was small and blue. But the most distinct thing about this train, was that it had the most familiar face. The train gave a small yawn. The train noticed me. They smiled and simply said to me:
“Hiya Mr. Hartley”.

Chapter Text

“Many of my old friends are gone now. I have a hard time dealing with the fact that they're just not there to talk to. I can't call them up for a rabbit-skin glue recipe anymore.” - James Rosenquist

-

“Hiya Mr. Hartley!”

Those words hit me like a brick. It was the voice of Thomas Gotze, my old friend. The way he came out of that shed... It reminded me of the way when he rolled out of Shed 17. He greeted the crowd with his smile. I felt like puking, but I didn’t. Because of all the horrific events in the past, seeing bio-fused people die, I’ve learned to control my urge to puke. Though, I did still feel very nauseous. “Uh, Mr. Hartley? Are you okay? You look a little sick!” Thomas said. I snapped out of my daze and looked at the tank engine. I nervously smiled. Maybe, if I just played along… “Uh, I’m fine Thomas.” I said to him. Thomas Then gave me a confused look. “What are you doing here so early? The driver isn’t here yet!” Thomas said. “Uh, I guess I just wanted to get here a little early.” I explained. It was more of a lie. I just came here because I was curious if the railway was still up. My answer seemed to satisfy the engine. He smiled again and said “Well, whatever you say Mr. Hartley! I guess we should wait for the driver to come! I need to run my branch line with Annie and Clarabel!” Wait? Annie and Clarabel? Those two twin coaches? They are still alive? Why was Thomas even pulling them? I would think that Diesel approve wouldn't like Thomas using them for his branch line. What ever this place was, it didn’t line up with my history.

It took a while, but the driver came. He greeted me with a “Hello Keith! Lovely morning isn’t it?”. I replied with a “Yes… It is…”. He became concerned with me, and asked if I was okay. I didn’t want to make him worried, and just said that I was just a little tired. We started Thomas up, and went to go get Annie and Clarabel. When I saw the two coaches, I became surprised. Clarabel looked… Normal. She didn’t have crossed eyes or anything. She was not so like Annie. Of course, I didn’t comment it out loud. Once the driver hooked them up to Thomas, passengers began to board. We were off on Thomas’ branch line at last. I checked Thomas’s fire box from time to time. I didn’t want the flame to burn out. I then looked out to view the scenery. We would occasionally pass by lakes or go under brides. It was nice to just to see that Sodor wasn’t trashed or buildings not being vandalized. Things were going smoothly. We got to the next station to let our passengers off. Suddenly, I felt some kind of pain shoot through my body. This pain was near my torso and it became hard for me to breath! I winced and held myself. Thomas took notice of me. “Mr. Hartley? What’s wrong?”. After he asked me that, the pain just left. I blinked and straighten myself out. “I-I’m fine, Thomas…” I said, trying to assure him. “But Mr. Hartley! It looked like you were hurt!” Thomas exclaimed. “Really Thomas, I’m fine! See?”. He looked at me with a worried expression. Thomas looked away and said, “Well, if you say so.”.

After a long day of work, he got back into his sheds. The driver left, but I decided to stay a little bit longer. I noticed that there were the other trains that were in their sheds. I was surprised to see Percy alive and well. The last I heard of him, he died from the surgery of being bio-fused. And yet, he was miraculously alive! I saw the others. All of them were alive… Henry, Gordon, Edward, James, everyone! It stunned me. None of them were bleeding from any accidents they had, or bleeding from any accidents for that matter. They seemed fine. I then looked at Thomas. It was no doubt he was Thomas. He had the same facial features and same train body, but something about him felt… Different. I shook my head, and said a simple “Goodnight.” To Thomas. “Goodnight Mr. Hartley!” He called to me. I smiled a little, and began to head home. As I left the station, I heard two familiar voices from behind me.

“Oi look! It’s Keith!”
“Hey! Keith! Our favorite fire-guy!”

I looked behind me. Al? Barry? They walked up to me and began to give me a quick hug. They pulled away at the same time. Al smiled and Barry gave me a cheeky grin. “Hey Keith! How was work on the rails today for you?” Barry said to me. I was at a loss for words. Al and Barry were alive?! It was shocking to see their faces, after you heard that they died from… “Uh, Earth to Keith? Hello? Can you hear me?” I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at Barry. “Uh, Keith, are you alright? It looked like you seen a ghost.” Al commented. I gave as nervous laugh. “Eheh. Sorry mates. I guess I kind of zoned out there. I’m tired from all the hard work.” I explained to them. “You sure you’re just tired? Thomas was talking to Henry, and we over heard that you had a weird moment where you suddenly looked hurt!” Barry said, with a bit of concern in his voice. What? Thomas said that when I didn’t notice? “We were just worrying about you Keith. Is something wrong?” Al questioned. I exclaimed, “Guys, I’m fine! Really, I am! I just had a moment at that time!”. Al and Barry gave me a look, but nodded. “Well, what ever you say Keith!” Barry said. I nodded and said, “Well uh, I got to get back home now.”. Al then asked, “One more hug before you go?”. I gave them a smile, “Yeah, that would be nice.” Al and Barry hugged me again. I returned the hug. I sniffled a little. I felt sad, but happy in a way. Al and Barry originally died from the flying kipper incident. And now, they were here, hugging me. I didn’t want to let go… Finally, it was time to go. We went out separate ways that night. I went home, and got ready for bed. It was pretty hard for me to sleep.

It was a restless night for me.

Chapter Text

“Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.” -George R.R. Martin

-

I open my eyes to see a train. Not just any train, but if was Thomas himself. I was confused to see him, but I decided to at least greet him. “Hello Thomas, what are you-” “Hartley. Why did you do it.” Thomas interrupted me. What? “Thomas, what are you-” “It was you wasn’t it, Mr. Hartley.” What is Thomas talking about? “You know Mr. Hartley, It was your fault the events of Shed 17 happened in the first place.” My blood went cold. No… No! Not this thing again! “It’s your fault, Hartley. It’s your fault.” Thomas began repeating that sentence. People began to appear and chant ‘your fault’ at me. More and more people joined in. It got louder, and louder, and louder. It was deafening. I screamed to make it stop. Suddenly it stop. There was a good light. No more angry Thomas, no more angry people. Just, one unfamiliar train appeared. Then, it all went black.

-

I woke up, in a cold sweat, but didn’t scream…Just a bad dream… I haven’t really had those in a while. Since the incidents and experiments of bio-fusion, everything just freaked me out. But as time passed, I’ve learned to grown numb to everything. I looked around, I was still in my bedroom. I was still here. I was still human… I tried to take a deep breath, then started coughing. I put my hand over my mouth as I coughed. It pained me to cough and breath. I finally calmed down. I looked at my hand, my eyes widen. There was little specks of… Blood? I gulped. My throat felt sore. I put a hand to my throat. I felt, very sore. I then realized that my body was feeling achy and sore. I knew I had to get up, l had to work today. I slowly worked myself out of bed, and started walking to the bathroom. Once I entered the bathroom, I looked for some painkillers to try and soothe this soreness through my body. I ate the painkillers and washed it down with some water. I looked in the mirror. I looked like a mess. 'Maybe it was from the nightmare.' I thought to myself. I then said, “I'd better start getting ready for the day…”

…

I arrive back at the station a while later. I went to the sheds with Thomas’ driver to prepare to run his branch line with Annie and Clarabel. My body still ached, but I tried to ignore it all. Thomas seemed to notice that I was in pain. “Are you sure you are okay, Mr. Hartley? You look very hurt!” I looked at Thomas, and gave a fake smile. “Thomas, I’m fine. I’ve just been having an off day.” I responded. He gave me a weird look, but didn’t question me further. Even the driver asked if I was fine, I just said the same thing I said to Thomas. I hope they didn’t through my lie. I actually didn’t feel fine at all. It felt like my body was cramping all over.

We came back to the sheds, and I was feeling worse. I was saying goodnight to Thomas when Al and Barry came to see me again. “Hello Keith!” Al greeted. “Hey! Hartley!” Barry said. I turned to them and put on my best fake smile. “Hi guys.” I said. “How was work today, Keith?” Barry asked. “Eh, same as usual.” I said, trying to hide that I was in pain. “…Keith, are you alright?” Al asked with concern. Ah, I could never really hide anything from Al. “Don’t worry Al, I’m fine.” I said, trying to convince him. “Are you sure?” Barry said. “You look very tired of something.” I shook my head. “Guys, I’m telling you. I’m fine. Nothing to worry abou-”

I stopped when felt another wave of pain go over me. Al and Barry looked at me with concern. “Keith?” They asked in unison. My stomach suddenly felt like as if it went to my throat. And, for the first time in years, I started to puke. There were contents from my stomach coming out and I was even puking blood. Once I stopped, I collapsed onto the ground. I heard Al and Barry call my name. I passed out from the pain.

Chapter Text

“Which is the true nightmare, the horrific dream that you have in your sleep or the dissatisfied reality that awaits you when you awake?” ― Justin Alcala
-
I was standing in an empty warehouse. This warehouse seemed awfully familiar here. It was very, very quiet. No sound to be heard. I look around, and then look back. My eyes widen to see him. That fat beaters was behind me. I stepped back from him. He said one sentence to make me shake in fear.

“Welcome to your hell.”

I backed up once as he said that. I bumped into something behind me. I turned around to notice a horrific sight. Trucks. Tons of them. Some of them were dead, some of them were trying to call out for help, but all they could muster was a pained muffle. There was a putrid smell in the air from all the rotting decay of blood and wood. I shook my head frantically as I saw this. No! I didn’t want to be a truck! I don’t want to go back being a truck! I closed my eyes, I want this to go away! I pleaded this to just all go away!!!

And just like that, it did. No more trucks, no putrid smell, just silence. A strange gold dust spreads around me. It felt warm, as if there was someone trying to comfort me with a hug. I embrace the feeling. It made me feel a bit better. I look up to see a silhouette of a petite train. From this train, a female voice speaks to me.

“Hartley, you have seen so much, haven’t you? But understand, that this is not real. Let this all just be a bad dream for you to wake up from.”
-
It was dark again, but I began to regain consciousness again. I slowly open my eyes to see a dimly lit room. I tried to sit up, but I was quickly met with pain. A pair of hands gently pushed me back to lay down on a mattress. “Mr. Hartley, please refrain from trying to sit up. It will bring you more pain to try and move at all.“ A female voice says. I look to my side to see a lady dresses in white. “Wh-who are you?” I ask. “I am a nurse Mr. Hartley. You are in the hospital because of an injury of yours.” I was confused. I was in the hospital? And what does she mean by injury? I remember vomiting, but had no physical injuries. “What injury? I don’t understand.” The nurse got up from where she was sitting. “I shall go get your doctor. They will explain your injury to you.” She said, and left the room.

I laid back on the hospital bed. I felt more horrible. My body felt very achy, and I tasted a mix blood and vomit in my mouth, which made me sick to my stomach. 'What was wrong with me?' I asked myself. After a while, the door to the room opened. I guess my doctor came after all. I wonder who he is. “Ah, Mr. Hartley! You are awake!” My blood ran cold. That German accent. That damn German accent... No… It couldn’t be. “Hello Mr. Hartley! I am Dr. Owen Routh! I shall be your doctor for the time being.” Owen Routh. A formal ‘friend’ of mine. Well, I really wouldn’t call him a friend anymore. He betrayed me and turned me into a troublesome truck. “So, you must be confused on what your injury is.” He said. “Um, yes that’s correct.” I replied, trying to hide my anger and fear of him.

“Well, we did some X-Rays on you while you were unconscious. Let me show you the results.” He got up some pictures on put them up to a screen, and lit them. “As you can see here, this shows what is in your body.” He points to my organs. “This is where your injuries are. Your organs seemed to be damaged from some sort of infection.” He explained. My eyes widen. “Though, according to the X-Rays, and the infections… You should be dead…” It clicked in my head. My time of being a troublesome truck. The vital organs of a truck were left out in the open, which would increase the risk of infection. How did I still have the infections from being a truck? “But do not worry Mr. Hartley! You are in our capable hands now. So, I’m sure you can pull though this. But, you’ll have to stay here so you can recover through this.” I gulped and shuddered when he said that. He’s going to kill me again, will he? “Mr. Hartley? Are you alright?” I looked up, Routh asked with a look of concern on his face. “I-I’m okay sir. It’s just uh… I’m still a little shocked from herding about the infections I guess…” I responded, trying to sound convincing. He looked at me, but nodded his head. “If that’s what you say Mr. Hartley.” He said. He seemed to believe me. I sigh a bit. I just hope he doesn’t turn me into a truck again.

Chapter Text

“Keep on questioning. Keep on searching.” - Lailah Gifty Akita

-

I slowly wake up to see a light being shined on me. There were voices of doctors, trying to wake me up. “Keith? Keith? Keith? Can you hear me, Keith? Can you hear me, Keith?
I could hear the doctor’s voice. I tried to speak, but I couldn’t…

“Stay with me now. Stay with me now. Ok, we have to shock him. Clear.”

This place  seemed very familiar. Why was I here?

“That will not be necessary.”

No… not this. Please…

“Who are you? Who is this man? What's he doing here?” the doctor said. Professor Routh responded. “This man is in our care.” I tried to say, 'Its Owen Routh! Get him out! He’s not a doctor! He’s a liar! Please!’

“You've no right to be here!” The doctor said

No…!

“Relax, Mr. Hartley.”

Routh Please!

“You are in our capable hands now.”

I don’t want to die a truck again…

-

It was dark. I was afraid of opening my eyes to see that I would be in that hell of a warehouse. Instead, I opened my eyes to see fog. Nothing, but fog and rocks. Was I still dreaming? What is this place? I began to walk around, expecting to run into something that would kill me or torture me. Most of the dreams I’ve been having, had been like that since I woke up, human again. The fog slowly cleared, little by little. I realized that I was walking through some kind of mountain. I looked down and saw that there were train rails on the ground. There was a sound of a steam engine puffing towards me. I look up to see what was coming.

Instead of seeing something horrific, I saw that small engine again, a bit more clearly that I could see some details. She had a purplish color, but shined like gold. I was confused. I never seen someone biofused into this kind of engine like this. The engine gave me a kind smile. This kindness...It made me feel, better about my situation. I slowly walked closer to the engine, but everything got brighter as I did. This light was blinding me. It was blinding, and I couldn’t see anything anymore!

- 

I blinked, the blinding light was gone. I felt groggy, and sick to my stomach. “Bloody hell…” I mumbled to myself. A voice spoke up, “I don’t really like that kind of language Mr. Hartley, but who am I to judge?” My head snapped up to see none other but him. “Ah! Oh... Hello Dr. Routh...” I replied. “Good Morning Mr. Hartley.” He greeted. “I’m here to say that after your month stay here, you will be checked out this afternoon.” Owen announced. Wait? It’s been a month already? Time seemed to pass by so quickly. I didn’t think about that very much, as I mentally sighed in relief. I’m glad I’ll be getting out of here to be away from Dr. Routh. Though, it did confuse me on how he didn’t even try to experiment on me once during my stay here.

“Is something bothering you Mr. Hartley?” Routh asked me. I snapped out of my thoughts and I replied with, “Uh, sorry. I guess I was just… thinking…” Dr. Routh simply nodded his head. “I see. Well, enjoy the rest of your day Mr. Hartley.” With that, Owen left the hospital room. Why is he acting like this? Isn’t he suppose to be in hiding from the world? Why was he working at a hospital? None of this makes sense…

-

I walked out of the hospital, still thinking about all these questions I still had. Owen was actually… Nice to me while I was in the hospital. He acted as if we were friends like back in the day. But, after he betrayed me… After he bio-fused me into a truck… I try to ignore that terrible memory, but it keeps coming back to me. I don’t want to remember... I don’t want to be a truck…

I finally got home and shut the door behind me. I sat down on the couch and buried my face into my hands. I don’t understand any of this world. Why was that fat bastard acting kinder? Why hasn’t Professor Routh tried to Bio-fuse me yet? Why is Thomas still an engine? Was this a dream? I’m I in heaven? Hell? Purgatory? I had no clue what was what anymore. One more question stuck out to me.

“Who is that engine I keep seeing in my dreams?”

I had to find out who this engine was. Were they causing my nightmares? Did they have something to do with me being here? What ever it was, I was going to find out. But how? Should I ask someone? Topham? No, I’m not going to even talk to that fat shite. Al or Barry? No, they’d probably think I was insane. Thomas? “Well, it’s worth a shot with him…” Then it was settled, when I get back to Knapford, I’m asking Thomas about this engine. Maybe he might know a thing or two about this.

Chapter Text

“Life is filled with unanswered questions, but it is the courage to seek those answers that continues to give meaning to life. You can spend your life wallowing in despair, wondering why you were the one who was led towards the road strewn with pain, or you can be grateful that you are strong enough to survive it.” - J.D. Stroube

-

I came back to Knapford a week after I checked out if the hospital. I only had one thing on my mind, to find Thomas and ask him about this engine. I look around the station and rails to see where my past friend was. I saw many engines that I’ve never seen before. There were more steam engines here than I remembered. God, how many people wanted to be Bio-fused?!

I finally saw Thomas being uncoupled from these two familiar looking coaches. Wait… Annie? Clarabel? I thought they died from being burned to death. And why was Thomas pulling them? I shook those questions out of my head and went over to Thomas. Now was not the time to be asking those questions! I have to focus on the task at hand.

“Thomas!” I called out. Thomas looked at me and said, “Hiya Mr. Hartley! You’re finally back! Are you ok-” I cut him off “Ask me that later! For now, I need to ask you something!” I said. Thomas looked at me with a confused face. “What do you need Mr. Hartley?” He asked. I took a deep breath, and started to explain. “Look, I’ve been having dreams of this engine, and I want to know if you might know this engine.” I said. “From what I’ve seen, the engine is golden, pinkish-purple, and small. Do you know them?” I questioned, hoping Thomas would know.

Thomas seemed to have a shocked look when I told him that. “T-Thomas?” I said, concerned from this. Thomas then asked me, “You… You KNOW her?!” I was confused. “Wait… Know who?” I asked. “You’ve seen her in your dreams too?” Thomas questioned. I grew frustrated. “Thomas, who are you talking about?” I demanded. “Lady the Golden Engine! You’ve been dreaming about her?!” So that’s who I’ve been dreaming of! “Yes! Her! Now tell me, what do you know about her?” I asked.

Thomas looked at me, and began, “Well… it’s a long story…” Thomas told me a story, a story about conductors with magic dust and new friends to meet. He told me about Diesels with claws and with devious schemes to plan out. He told me about the lost engine, Lady, who he helped along the way. He told me of dreams where she would encourage Thomas. He finished his story. “And, I never really seen her again after that…” Thomas said, looking down at the ground sadly.

I was shocked to hear that, not the story mainly itself, but the mention of… Magic. Magic? Gold dust? A magic engine? No! That’s ridiculous! How was their magic in this world?! It doesn’t make any sense! I looked at Thomas, and saw how sad he was. It got me thinking, if Lady had this kind of power… Maybe… “Hey Thomas.” “What?” I jumped into Thomas’ cabin. “Lets go to Topham, and ask if we can go see an old friend.” Thomas gave me the happiest smile I’ve seen from him. “Oh Mr. Hartley! You don’t mean-“ “Yes Thomas, let’s go visit this 'Magic Railroad’ to see Lady.”

Thomas began steaming from happiness. “Oh yes yes yes! I would love that!” Thomas began puffing to where the fat bas- Uh, Fat Controller was. When we saw him, I got out of Thomas and went up to him. “U-Um… Sir.” I greeted. “Oh! Mr. Hartley! Good to see that you’ve gotten better! But, What are you doing with Thomas?” He asked. I sighed and said “Sir… Thomas and I need- Want to go to this 'Magic Railroad’ so we- Thomas can see this old friend of his.” “Huh? Old friend? What are you talking about?” “I’m talking about Lady the Golden Engine, sir.” I explain.

The Fat Controller stared at me, and sighed “I’m sorry Mr. Hartley. You and Thomas have jobs to do here, and I don’t think Shining Time Station could just show you guys their engines.” Topham said. Thomas then spoke up “Well, could you at least call them, and ask if they need any help. But I can't make any promises, understand?” I nodded, “Yes sir.” I climbed back into Thomas, and we set off back to the station. “I hope we can go back to Shining Time station.” Thomas said, excited. I nodded my head again. “Me too Thomas. But all we can do now is hope.”

-

It was evening, and I was saying my goodbyes to Thomas. “I hope you have a good night Mr. Hartley.” Thomas said to me, smiling. I forced a smile back to him, “Yeah, of course Thomas.” Before I left, I saw the fat controller coming towards us. “Good Evening you two. I have some news for you.” He said. “What is it sir?” Thomas asked. “Well, it seems that Shining Time Station needs certain goods to be brought to them. The problem is that the goods they are looking for only comes from here on Sodor. So, I would like you two to bring a goods train to the mainland.” Thomas whistled happily, “Oh yes yes yes! Thank you sir! We will indeed!” He said. “Good. Then I want you two to get some rest. You have a lot of work to do. Have a good night.” The fat controller left.

“Oh! I’m so excited Mr. Hartley! We’ll be going to see Lady together! Wouldn’t that be fun?” Thomas asked. I looked at Thomas and smiled. “Yes, that does sound nice.” Thomas gave a yawn “Well, I’m going to sleep. See you tomorrow Mr. Hartley.” He went into his shed and the doors closed. I smiled sadly, “Good night Thomas…”

Chapter Text

“I've got so many mountains to climb and goals to conquer. I've got so many scars I want to leave on the planet. I just feel like I'm not there yet. I feel like I am just getting started.” - Nikki Sixx

-

The next day, Thomas and I set off to the mainland with the goods train. I shoveled the coal into Thomas’ firebox so he could build up more steam. I sighed to myself, I haven’t done this job in years. It was awkwardly quiet as we rode to Shining Time Station. So, I decided to start up a conversation by asking some questions. “Um… Thomas?” “Yes?” “How’s your Father doing?” “What? What do you mean? I don’t have a Father.” Thomas said, in a matter-of-factly tone. “O-Oh…” I sighed to myself. “Why even ask that?” I responded, “No reason. No reason at all…”

I thought about what Thomas said. He doesn’t remember his Father, Hans Gotze, at all? Does he even remember Wilhelm? His mother? Anyone? As I thought, Thomas spoke up, in a hesitant voice “….Mr. Hartley?” “Yes Thomas?” Thomas fell silent, but I patiently waited for Thomas to say what he needed to say. “Um… I’ve noticed that you’ve been acting… Differently then you have usually been. Like, you are usually honest and upfront about how you’re feeling. Lately, you’ve seen very distant. If there is anything you would like to talk about, I’m hear to listen.”

I went silent from that. Have I been worrying him? I had no idea what to say to him. Should I tell him the truth? Would he even believe me if I did? I took a deep breath and said, “Thomas, I will admit that there has been so much s- uh… Rubbish on my mind for a while. I appreciate your concern but… there are some things I need to clear up before I’m ready to talk.” Thomas seem to go quiet for a while. He sighed and said “Alright. You do what you have to I guess.” I shoveled another load of coal into Thomas’ firebox. I wondered, was it him not ready to hear my story, or is it me who isn’t ready to talk about it?

-

We arrived at Shining Time Station. We pulled up to the station, and I got off. The a man, who seemed to be the manager, came up to me. “Ah! You seem to be the Fireman to this blue engine from Sodor, correct?” He asked me. “Yes, that is correct. My name is Keith Hartley.” I responded, introducing myself. “And I’m Thomas!” Thomas added. “So, where do you want us to drop off this goods train?” I asked. The manager answered, “This goods train has to be taken to…” He pointed up to far away. I look to where he pointed. He was directing us to the mountains! I internally groaned, 'Of course we have to take the train up in the mountains. This is going to be fun’. I sighed and gave a nod, “Yes sir, we’ll get right on that.”

I climbed back into Thomas. “Hey, Thomas. What about we get you some water before we go up in the mountains?” I suggested. “That sounds like a great idea!” Thomas said, as he began to puff to where the water tower was. “Lady the Golden Engine, here we come!” he said in a cheerful manner. This is going to be a long ride, I just know it.

-

“I spy with my little eye… something rocky.” Thomas said. “Let me guess, it’s the mountain?” I responded, with a bored tone. “Nope! It was a pile of rocks this time!” Thomas corrected me. I groaned and shoveled some more coal into Thomas’ firebox. “…How long have we been moving up here?” Thomas asked. I checked my watch, “Four hours.” I confirmed. “Four hours?! Ugh! This is taking forever!” He complained. I rolled my eyes and put more coal into Thomas’ firebox. “We have to be patient Thomas. This mountain is very tall. It’ll take a while to get up.” I heard Thomas huff in frustration. “I guess so…”

-

“41 bottles of pop on the wall. 41 bottles of pop!” Thomas sang. I groaned as Thomas sang that annoying sound. Those four hours have became six hours by now. Thomas got the idea of singing that song to pass the time. The problem is that the song is annoying. “Bloody hell, that’s going to get stuck in my head…” I mumbled to myself. “Language Mr. Hartley!” Damnit! Thomas heard that? “Ah man! You made me lose track of my song! I’ll have to start all over again!” I groaned out loud. Here we go again.

-

“….Mr. Hartley!” Thomas exclaimed. I snapped out of my thoughts “Y-Yeah?” “Look! The sunset is starting!” I looked to the side of Thomas’ cabin. The sun was setting slowly over the horizon. The sunset made the sky turn a orange, pink, and purple. It was a nice sight to see. “Isn’t it pretty, Mr. Hartley?” Thomas asked me. I gave a small smile, “Yes… It truly is…”

-

I was beginning to doze off because of the night sky appeared. It was dark, and I haven’t gotten a good rest in a while. My eyes almost closed, but Thomas spoke up before I went to sleep. “Is it me, or is it getting more foggy now?” I rubbed my eyes and looked around. Thomas was right, it was foggy out. “Perhaps we are near the top.” I suggested. “Oh! That means we’re going to meet Lady soon!” Thomas said, excitedly.

And from that, Thomas began to go a bit faster. I tried keeping myself awake by shoveling more coal. It got foggier as we continued. After a while, the fog cleared up, and revealed lights and different sheds. Thomas jerked to a stop. I stepped out of the cabin and looked around. “…We’re actually here.” I said. “Yeah but… Where’s Lady?” Thomas asked.

Just when Thomas said that, we heard a whistle of an engine. There was the sound of an engine coming near us. A silhouette formed in the fog. The engine finally showed themselves. “Hello Thomas. Hello Keith. I’ve been expecting you.” Lady the Golden Engine had finally arrived.

Chapter Text

“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself.” - Walter Anderson
-
Lady was kind enough to let Thomas stay in one of the sheds to rest from today's hard work. As for me, I was now wide awake ready to ask my questions. “So… You’re the engine who’s been appearing in my dreams?” I asked, just to make sure. “Yes, it is a pleasure to see you here, Keith.” She said, as she chuffed next to me. “But let me ask, are you happy to see me?” To that, I answered truthfully., “….Well, it gives me some closure but…” I sighed “I still have questions I need to ask.” She nodded and gave a smile, “Climb into my cabin. We have much to talk about.” I slowly climbed into Lady, and we went deep into the mountains.
It was dark out, and fog seemed to arise around us, but Lady kept moving along the tracks. “Uh…. I don’t know if-” “Do not be afraid Keith. I know where we are going.” She assured me. I nodded and we continued into the night. I took a deep breath and began to say what was on my mind.

“…You’re the one who's been causing my nightmares… Is that correct?”

“I am not the one causing them to happen, Keith. But I can understand why you may think that. I wouldn’t blame you.”

“…Then… What were you doing in my dreams in the first place?”

“I’ve been trying to help you with your nightmares, Keith. Sadly, it seems there is nothing I can really do to help you. But, there might be something you can do to help them. To do that, we'll first have to talk about something else.”

“That is….?”

“Tell me, what do you remember when you first came to this world?”

“…I remember being a truck in a warehouse. Then, I saw you and some gold sparkles. I Then remember passing out and waking up in my home. As if all of that was a bloody nightmare…” I then realized something. “…Were… Were you the one who… Who brought me here?”

“Yes, I did. Do you know the reason why that is?”

“I-No, I do not.”

“Keith, I am the seer of all the many other worlds that have Sodor and Shining Time Station. I am suppose to make these world keep in the balance of our universe. Your world was one of them. And from I saw, you’ve fought through so much just to keep on living. But in the end, it was all done in vain. Be honest with me, was any of what you’ve been through fair at all?”

“….No but… From what I’ve learned, sometimes you have to live through it. I never had a choice in any of it anyways. It was fate that brought Sodor to its downfall, and mine as well.”

“And that’s exactly the reason why I gave you a second chance in your life.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Lady suddenly stopped moving. I got out of her cabin, and looked out. I saw the beautiful night sky glittering from the heavens. The stars and Moon were out, shining above me.

“This is your second life Keith. A chance to make your world a dream than a nightmare, as you say. The island of Sodor could be a place where dreams come true.” Lady said, in a reassuring voice.

“But… How can I do that?”

“It’s simple if you make it simple Keith. You need to understand that what happened back then was not your fault at all, and to forgive others for putting the blame on you. You might not think this, but those people were probably scared and confused of all the events of your world. People will want to find an scape-goat. But could you blame them?”

“…No, I don’t at all.”

“All I’m trying to say is to forgive and try and move on at your own pace. And it’s okay to talk to others about it. But again, that’s up to you to do so.”

“…I understand. Thank you so much, Lady.”

Lady smiles at me, and gold dust appeared around us. And then, we were back at the sheds. Thomas was sleeping so peacefully. I smiled sadly, remembering the good times of young Thomas Gotze greeting me on Knapford Station’s platform. It was as if I was greeting a new friend as an old friend. I looked out of the shed and thought to myself “I have a lot of work ahead of me…”