Archive of Our Own ^beta

People used to believe that you live through many lifetimes in your life. They used to believe that once you die you are reborn again because your soul lives on even if your mind doesn’t. They used to believe that if you have that one person that is made for you, that makes you feel love in so many ways it takes your breath away, your soul will remember and you will find them in the next life. In your next lifetime.

People used to believe there are many lifetimes...But then they stopped.

That however isn’t how it works. Even if you don’t believe it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. It just means that you don’t see it when it does.

An angel looked up at the stars, the brightness of them bringing him peace in an inexpiable way that made him smile.

The world around him was changing fast, the ground beneath his feet not standing still for even a second, as it shifted and molded deep below. Animals were running around and humans just started discovering all their potential.

It made him sad in a way. There wasn’t much for him to do anymore. He was here to guide. To show them the right way. But they were slowly doing all of that on their own and he wasn’t needed so much anymore. He was proud even through the slight sadness though. This was what his kind wated wanted. This is what they are here for. To watch that sparkle in the humans  eyes. That intelligence. To keep them safe. They are still young after all.

A small smile found itself on the angels face as a light breeze rustled his black hair that made him unable do anything other then close his eyes and enjoy it. Enjoy the light breeze on his pale skin and passing through his white feathers as his wings spread as wide as possible. It was extremely relaxing.

“Beautiful don’t you think?” A voice coming right next to him startled the angel out of his thought, his eyes snapping open to look at the figure that seemingly just appeared next to him from thin air.

As he shifted his gaze to the man, it was hard to look away. The tall lean body and fire red hair holding his interest; it is not every day you see someone with red hair after all. It soothed the mysterious man somehow though. And along with the eyes and the smirk that found itself on the man’s lips the second their gazes met told the angel all he had to know.

This was a demon.

He was warned about demons. He was told to be careful around them but for now the demon didn’t do anything suspicious so the angel let him be. He can easily go if something happens but at the moment, looking at the man, he found himself not wanting to.

“Yes it is.” He answered simply, looking back towards the sky. The night was still young and he always did like looking at the sky, somehow he felt less lonely like that.

There was a minute of strangely comfortable silence where neither one of them spoke before the demon broke it, not once looking away from the angel before him. “You are too.”

Not used to hearing something like that the angel felt his cheeks heat up. Not knowing what to do or say he just continued looking up but the demon continued. “I rarely see such beauty as yourself. So I’m sorry if I’m crossing some boundaries, but I can’t help but marvel at what’s before me.”

The heat in his cheeks worsened at hearing that, and he glanced sideways at the demon who was just staring at him with a strange twinkle in his eyes and a smirk still on his lips.

“It is inappropriate to say that to an angel. At least in a way that you do.” He finally spoke knowing from just his eyes what the demon was thinking. He wasn’t oblivious; he knew what demons are like. Predators full of temptations.

The demon smirked even more and stepped closer so he can whisper in his ear, making the angel tense up at the closeness. “I’m only telling the truth baby.” He whispered seductively and the angel couldn’t hide the shiver that ran down his spine as he felt hot breath hit his skin. “What’s your name little angel?”

“Baekhyun; The Guardian.” He didn’t know what possessed him to answer but he did, moving away from the demon none the less. This isn’t a situation that he is supposed to be in. “You?”

“Chanyeol; Lust.” He said in a low voice as he watched the blue eyed angel before him with half lidded eyes.

Hearing that, Baekhyun knew he should run. If this was lust, he has to run now. Lust is the reason why many angels have already fallen. Lust is someone you don’t want to be close to. But he still hesitated for a moment. And that was all Chanyeol needed.

If it was anyone else the angel would have already been on the floor beneath the demon with a hazy mind filled with pleasure. But somehow Chanyeol found this one different so he let him go. He let him take that step backwards. He let him walk away. He let him go this time.

“I’ll see you again Baekhyun.“ The demon said before the angel could go far and it made him stop. “I appreciate beauty when I see it and I don’t intend to let you go. So I’ll see you again. Soon.” And with that he disappeared in black fog and red sparks, leaving the angel looking at the spot where he was just a moment before. Feeling strangely fine with the demons words.

That should have been his first clue. His first warning.

Chanyeol said he will not let his angel go. And neither of them knew how right that will be. How much that one sentence will stick to them in this life and every other. In every universe there is.

A pale boy stretched and sat up, bright sheets pooling around his waist, leaving his torso exposed. His blue eyes still hazy from sleep and black hair a complete mess.

There was a chuckle from his right. “Well good morning there sleepy head.”

The still sleepy boy glanced towards the source of the voice only to be met by his boyfriends steady gaze as he looked him over with lustful eyes.

“Do you even know how delicious you look every morning Baek?” He asked, pulling said boy towards him and pressing their lips together. The kiss was lazy and sedated at first but soon turned heated as the blue eyed boy slowly awoke fully and started kissing back.

Kisses turned into nips on his pale neck, still marked from last night, but he pushed the other one away before it could get any further. “Chanyeol no. We have to get up.” He said, catching his breath and trying to ignore the others hands as they continued roaming his body, touches lingering at just the right places, making him fight a moan and try and get away from his suddenly very horny boyfriend.

“Who says?” Brown eyes looked into blue ones in a way that made his cheeks heat up slightly before lips were pressed against his again.

The kiss was gentle this time as they took their time.

“We have nowhere to go Baekhyun. It’s your day off. Let’s just enjoy this rare opportunity.” Chanyeol went for another kiss and Baekhyun could only groan as he let him.

“Rare my ass. I’m always late because you can’t control yourself.” He complained but still let himself be laid back down with Chanyeol on top of him. No matter how much he complains he never stops him and Chanyeol knows that, he knows that Baekhyun wants this as much as he does and he takes advantage every single time.

Chanyeol chuckled. “You stop being so damn sexy and I will stop being all over you.” He stopped for a second. “On the other hand maybe not.”

Baekhyun laughed before he was cut off by a moan that the other swallowed up with soft lips on his.

It’s safe to say that they didn’t get up for the next few hours more.

They met years ago during high school. Baekhyun was the shy kid no one talked to and Chanyeol was the one who swore he will have him. Baekhyun couldn’t believe it when he got a confession. He couldn’t believe when he got his phone number and a kiss goodbye. But it didn’t take long before they were dating, to everyone else’s surprise. And after so many years they are still going strong. They both vowed they will not let each other go. Not even knowing that it’s the same line that a demon said to an angel such a long time ago.

The room was cramped with chairs, some empty and some occupied. All of the people there quiet and listening to whoever was speaking at the moment whether they felt like it or not. They had no other choice after all.

One boy, no more the nineteen years old, looked uncomfortable and nervous as his time to speak was getting nearer and nearer. He didn’t want to be there. He wouldn’t even be there if his friend didn’t practically drag him. And now he had no way of getting out of it.

His hands were shaking slightly. It has been almost three days since the last time after all. He needed it. But he also knew that there is no way of getting anything while his best friends are always there, watching him like hawks. Making sure he can’t do anything.  He didn’t think he can last long like this. There was no way.

There was a slight nudge onto his arm and he stood up slowly, shoving his shaking hands into his pockets in hopes of making it less obvious. He knew he looked like a wrack anyway though.

“Hi.“ The voice was timid and barely there but it still held an undivided attention of the room. “I’m-I’m Baekhyun. And I’m a drug addict.“

“Hi Baekhyun.” A chorus of voices called back making the blue eyed boy’s cheeks to redden as he quickly sat back down again. His eyes still on the floor, like they were since he first came into the room.

“Good. Now who is next?” The counselor spoke up and the boy sitting right next to Baekhyun stood up.

“Hi, I’m Chanyeol.” The deep voice made Baekhyun look up for the first time, his eyes immediately being met by brown ones before the other boy looked back up towards the rest of the room. His hair was died blood red making him stand out. He was tall and thin and hot. That was all Baekhyun could think of as he saw him. The guy was hot . “And I’m a sex addict.” As the boy continued his eyes moved towards Baekhyun just for a fraction of a second but it was enough for the blue eyed boy to see a spark of lust and want in them. Making him quickly look away again.

The introductions continued and the more time passed the worse he was feeling. He just wanted to get out. He needs another fix. He can’t anymore. Three days is too long. Way too long.

He knew he didn’t look any better then he felt either. Pale almost to the point where he looked sick, his body all skin and bones by this point and the bags under his eyes practically the size of Australia. And that is without actually seeing his eyes that were once clear blue and now just a ghost of it with redness taking over what once was clear and vibrant.

He doesn’t care though. Doesn’t care how he looked like while sitting there shaking all over and looking like death itself. All he cares about is when he will get the next fix and the fact that he probably won’t. And that was killing him. He can’t live without it. He can’t come back home without being high on something. He can’t sit in front of his father during dinner while he ignores him and pretends that he doesn’t exist. While he pretends he doesn’t have a son. Because if his son’s not straight he would rather not have one. He wants a son who has a girlfriend. Someone who isn’t a fucking fag like he is. Someone who isn’t a disappointment. He can’t be conscious at night to hear his parents fight over him. He can’t stand hearing all the insults thrown his way in his own home. He needs to be high. He needs to forget. Fuck, he needs to forget so bad.

Even in his shaken state he could still feel eyes on him throughout the next hour. Somehow he had a feeling he knew who it was, and a quick glance sideways halfway through the tortures hour he saw that he thought right. Brown eyes were solemnly focused on him. Chanyeol ignored the rest of the people around them and just kept staring at him with a smirk. No, staring wasn’t the right word. He was striping him with his eyes. Looking him over with an almost predatory look.

As he saw him looking he winked, not even showing any sign he will stop staring. It made Baekhyun look back at the floor and shift uncomfortably. Having no idea what to do, he just tried ignoring it, focusing instead on how to get out of Luhan’s watchful eyes long enough to sneak out and get something. Anything. He just needs a fix.

People started getting up and he noticed that he spent the whole hour lost in his thoughts instead of paying attention to the group. Oh well it’s not like he planned to anyway.

He got up too and moved to leave. Hoping that maybe his friends aren’t waiting for him outside so he can give them the slip, but of course he is not that lucky. The second he got a glance outside of the door he could see them both.

A groan left him but he knew there was no way out now.

Before he could get out however a hand on his wrist stopped him.

He turned to snap at whoever was touching him only to see a flash of red before foreign lips were on his own in a forceful kiss. Before he could even comprehend what was happening his lips were pried open expertly and the kiss was deepened. Now all tongue and teeth as the other boy teased him to kiss back. And to Baekhyun’s own surprise he found himself doing just that. He couldn’t help it. The kiss felt way too addictive not to. Chanyeol himself felt addictive as he pushed him onto the nearest wall.

As air became a problem Chanyeol pulled back but still didn’t let go as his lips stayed only a hairs away from Baekhyun’s, their breaths mixing together.

“Hmm Even better then I imagined.” Chanyeol mussed out loud with a grin that looked way too predatory then it should have. And it definitely shouldn’t have made Baekhyun want to kiss him again. Taste him all over. “Virgin?” He asked like he was asking what his favourite colour was. It made him blush slightly and with that give Chanyeol the answer he was looking for.

A sly smile replaced the previous grin and he hummed, hands moving down Baekhyun’s chest and to the waist of his pants before one finger curled into his belt loop and he pulled their lower half’s together. The new contact made the blue eyed one gasp as he felt the press of the others half hard cock through the fabric of their jeans. “I think it’s time we change that don’t you.”

“I have to go.” Baekhyun said too weakly, with his eyes focused on the others lips because right now the offer sounds so damn good. If nothing else he definitely seems like a good distractions.

Chanyeols’s eyes were dark with pure lust when he noticed and he licked his lips painfully slowly.

“Oh yes you do baby. You have to go with me.” He bit Baekhyun’s lower lip teasingly before letting go in a slow drag, pressing even more against the others body. “I even have something for you.”

The second Baekhyun saw the small baggie in Chanyeol's hand his mind went into overdrive. It was so close. Just what he needed and it was so fucking close.

The smile Chanyeol sent him then was nothing else but victorious as he tilted his head so he had to look back at him. “You help me and I help you. What do you think?” He asked even as he knew the answer. He knew Baekhyun can’t say no. He knew he had him.

As Baekhyun crashed their lips together then, he couldn’t think rationally. He couldn’t think about anything but the fact that Chanyeol had what he wanted and it was right in front of him. Right out of his reach. But not for long. I help him and he helps me. There is nothing bad with that plan. That sounds like such a perfect plan.

He lost it then. He just let go and gave himself over to Chanyeol without a second though. He wasn’t even able to think straight through his desperation.

They sneaked out without his friends noticing then. His mind a haze of desperation but by that point he didn’t even know a desperation for what. Maybe it was the baggie hidden in Chanyeol’s back pocket. But it could have also been Chanyeol’s lips that he was getting desperate for. His touches and kisses and taste. Because God, Chanyeol is the most addictive person he has ever met.

That night was spent in a haze of kisses and touches and pleasure. It was spent in a small apartment, on a mattress on the floor with moans echoing through the whole room. And later on, in the early hours of the morning, Baekhyun found himself exhausted and somehow content for the first time in his life. However that doesn’t mean he didn’t take the small baggie when it was offered to him with a lazy satisfied smile from Chanyeol. That doesn’t mean he didn’t stumble back home feeling a buzz and in a beautiful high state he has been craving for the past few days.

But even through his hazy and unfocused mind, there was one thing he was very much aware of.

There was a slip of paper in his pants pocket.

A slip of paper with a phone number written on it.

The wind was howling. Wanting to say something. Wanting to be heard. Speaking to the trees in its own language. It was loud and messy and absolutely beautiful.

His father often said that everything on the earth and above has its own voice and wants to be heard. Everything and everyone likes to be heard. Likes to be remembered. The bears, and the grass, and the leafs; he would say. The frogs, and the wind, and the sea. Everything has a voice. Everything has the right to use it. Everything no matter how little or useless it seems has a purpose in this life. A voice and a story to tell. They just need someone to listen. Listen close enough to hear.

Baekhyun found out rather quickly that listening and hearing isn’t the same. One can always listen but not always hear. One can always hear but not always listen. You can hear whatever you want but that doesn’t mean that that is what is being said.

Baekhyun liked to listen. He liked to listen to the stories around him. The stories of the trees, and the wind. The stories of the people that haven’t even started seeing just how much potential there is in them or in what is surrounding them. He just liked to listen. There is always something being said. Nothing is meaningless if you just try and listen. Everything had its beauty, its sound and its story.

So he listened, and wondered, and stayed.

Even as other angels kept moving around, kept doing things, building their own stories, leaving their own marks, he stayed. He stayed and listened because he didn’t feel the need to leave a mark in a world that has so many voices, so many stories you can hear if you just listen.

Grass rustled next to him but he didn’t even flinch. Another body sat next to him and he didn’t even need to open his eyes to know who it is. He has been waiting after all. Waiting and listening.

“I’ve been watching you.” The demons voice reached his ears and somehow it sounded softer then he remembered.

The angel still didn’t open his eyes but replied to the others words anyway. “I know.”

“And you have nothing against a demon stalking you?” Said demon asked in a teasing manner that didn’t require an answer, lips quirking into a smirk.

“You have the right to do whatever you want. I am just here to listen.” Baekhyun said simply, opening his eyes for the first time and looking sideways at the demon next to him.

“And what if I want to devour you whole and make you feel pleasure like never before. Make you scream my name in mindless, blind pleasure as you forget your own?” There was definitely a smirk on his lips now.

The angel blushed deeply red and diverted his eyes, looking down at the grass stretching in front of him rather than at the demon of lust next to him. “That is your business, not mine.” He said quietly, feeling uncomfortable but still staying sat down.

“Aww but baby I want to make it yours.” The demon of lush said seductively, but didn’t use any of his powers on the angel. Didn’t even try.

The angel’s blush only deepened on the baby part.

“Why are you doing this?” He asked slowly after a minute of silence between the two. Not understanding why the demon is so concentrated on him and knowing full well that if the demon really wanted to he could have him doing whatever he desired in a matter of seconds. But for some reason not one spark of his power was being used on him. It was leaving him relived but confused.

“I want you. I want to make you mine.” Chanyeol answered without a second of hesitation and the words made Baekhyun’s breath hitch.

It is one thing to have someone want you. Lust over you. But a completely other to have them want to make you theirs. It is not the same. It doesn’t mean the same. It isn’t worth the same. And it took the angel by surprise.

“Why?” He managed to choke out after some time. “Why would you ever want that? I am no one.”

“You are beautiful, and fascinating, and innocent in the most important way.” The demon said, eyes not moving from the others blue ones that were on him again. “And I will make you mine. No matter how long it takes.”

Chanyeol smiled at him then. Not a smirk, or a sly smile, but a genuine one. A first smile he showed anyone in so long. And with that he was gone. Disappearing in black smoke and red sparks, leaving the angel sitting there with wide eyes and a heart that was beating faster than usual.

It started with a simple hello.

As many friendships do. Just a school loner saying hi to the new kid. Not even knowing how much it meant to the other because that was the first time anyone was polite to him since he started attending there. Just like that there was a smile. And a friendship was born.

They were young then. Barely nine. But they became inseparable.

Years passed quickly, one second they were playing in the park and the next there were parties and beer and sex. Well for Chanyeol anyway. Baekhyun was still the loner he always was. Keeping to the side and staying invisible.

However the two were still best friends. Still inseparable even as Baekhyun developed feelings for the other that weren’t as platonic as they should have been. Even as he was pinning after his best friend, he did it in silence. No one knew. No one had to know.

When Canyeol had his heart broken Baekhyun was always there. Always picking up the broken pieces. Always making it better. And when everything started going downhill with Baekhyun, Chanyeol was the first to notice. Chanyeol was the one who cleaned the cuts and made threats even as Baekhyun kept saying it was fine. He was fine. He was the one who yelled at Baekhyun’s dad when he got kicked out of the house after weeks of arguing and disgusted stares because his dad can’t accept the fact that his son doesn’t like girls. Chanyeol was the one who gave him a roof over his head for the rest of high school.  And when they started collage Baekhyun repaid him by finding an apartment they can share.

Chanyeol never knew about Baekhyun’s feelings towards him. He never even thought it was possible but Baekhyun liked it like that. He didn’t want to ruin their friendship after all. They were good like this. He was fine even as Chanyeol kept bringing people home almost every night. He was fine.

The first time it happened was a year after they moved into their small apartment.

Chanyeol was drunk and heartbroken once again. But this time he didn’t bring anyone home. This time he was slightly more drunk than usual. This time it was Baekhyun who he pressed against the wall and kissed forcefully. It was Baekhyun whom he striped and fucked into his mattress. This time it was Baekhyun. And Baekyhun let him.

The next morning when he came to he apologized again and again and again to his best friend, promising it will never happen again. And even as Baekhyun kept saying that it was fine, that he was fine he still kept apologizing. Promising again and again that it will never happen again.

But it did. It happened again, and again, and again.

Every time he was drunk out of his mind he turned to Baekhyun. He used Baekhyun. And he was never turned away. Baekhyun never said the word ‘No’. He never turned him down.

Chanyeol kept apologizing and Baekhyun kept saying he was fine. It was fine. He was always fine. Even as he started cutting again. Even as he was torn apart piece by piece he was fine. Always fine. He was fine.

Chanyeol didn’t notice how much he was breaking Baekhyun. He didn’t notice how much he has been breaking him slowly for months and years. Every new person in their small apartment. Every foreign moan from yet another one of Chanyeol’s partners that echoed through the apartment and passed through thin walls killed him piece by little piece. But Baekhyun still kept saying he was fine. He kept repeating the word fine even as it lost its meaning. Even as his own eyes became dull, and lifeless, and broken he kept telling Chanyeol it was fine. He was fine.

And Chanyeol kept noticing less and less. He didn’t notice when blood covered Baekhyun’s clothes. He didn’t notice when the eyes of his best friend dulled and died out. He didn’t notice. He stopped noticing as he held onto Baekhyun’s words that he is fine. Baekhyun is fine. He will be fine.

Days passed like this. Weeks, months. They passed in the haze of drunken nights and apologies and I’m fine’s. But then it was too much.

It was all too much.

Chanyeol got home to a carpet painted red and his best friend dead.

He didn’t know Baekhyun started cutting again. He didn’t know how hard he fell. How suffocating he felt. But it all hit him then. As tears hazed his gaze and his own heart stopped, it hit him how little he noticed. It hit him how much Baekhyun was suffering in silence and it left him shaking. It left him breaking.

He barely managed to call someone. And when he did he was already covered in blood. It was hard to breathe. Suddenly it was hard to do anything.

It took him weeks after to be able to step foot into the apartment. He hasn’t slept properly in forever but at least he could breathe without his whole body hurting. He could stand on his own two feet. But it wasn’t the same anymore. Without Baekhyun it just wasn’t. Without Baekhyun he couldn’t imagine living. He can’t imagine the world without Baekhyun but now suddenly he has to live in it. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t normal. It wasn’t right. It didn’t feel real. Nothing felt real anymore.

There was a note on the coffee table. A note he didn’t notice before. A folded piece of paper covered in blood.

He opened it slowly. Fearing what he will see and tears already in his eyes.

There were only two words written down and they made his breath hitch and heart hurt. It made him break in every way possible as his legs couldn’t hold him up anymore and he fell to the floor.

Only two words and it was hard to breathe again.

I’m fine.

He thought he knew heartbreak but it was never like this. It had nothing on this. This was heartbreak. This was dying. And worse than anything, Baekhyun wasn’t there to fix it. Baekhyun wasn’t there to make it better. Baekhyun will never be there to make it better again.

That was when it all finally clicked and it made everything so much worse. So much more painful. He loved Baekhyun. He always loved Baekhyun but was too afraid to see it. But now he did. He remembered all the years; all the wasted time he will never get back. All the time waiting for him he will never have with Baekhyun. All the time Baekhyun will never have.

In this lifetime Chanyeol made a bad decision. He chose to not see what was in front of him. He was blind and he suffered for it for the rest of his life.

This was a lifetime in which he kept wondering ‘What if’.

A lifetime of regrets.

The sun was low. Sunset waiting to be born. The sun’s rays lighting up everything in its path. That included an angel sleeping in the middle of a field. Pale skin and closed eyelids getting more color as he peacefully slept. Wings spread wide and raven colored hair sticking in every direction.

The demon watching from the shelter of trees felt fondness and endearment for the first time in his long life. He felt things he never did before. The warmth of affection and not lust cursing through his whole body.

It never happened before. Not for anyone ever. Not from him. Demons don’t feel affection. Demons don’t fall in love. Demons of lust don’t let their victims free without a scratch. Demons of lust don’t feel fondness or love.

But the angel is different; Chanyeol thought as he kept watching his own little angel with so many new feelings inside of him that he felt like he is going to melt any moment now. He is special.

The day was cold. Well at least it looked like it was from where Baekhyun was standing by the window, looking outside. The wind was blowing, making tree branches to swing with it, ripping leafs off and taking peoples hats with it too. It wasn’t the kind of weather that you would want to be outside for.

It was like this for days now though. Maybe even weeks. The blue eyed boy couldn’t even remember when was the last time he was outside. Not like he wants to go outside anyway. It’s safe like this. It’s safe in the loft. He’s safe.

Two arms found themselves around his middle without any warning and his back was pressed against lean chest that he couldn’t help but relax into.

“You really need to stop that Baek.” A still sleep laced deep voice whispered right into his ear. Warm breath puffing against his neck making Baekhyun shiver as he leaned into the embrace.

“I’m just looking outside.” He replied, rubbing his forearm absentmindedly. It has been kind of stinging since he woke up.

“Mmhmm” Chanyeol hummed, leaving lazy kisses down the back of his neck and towards the shoulder. “Just come back to bed love. Watching the bad weather won’t make it get better. Do you want to get away from me that bad?” His voice was teasing but there was still a serious undertone underneath. Like he is really scared Baekhyun would want that.

And that just must be the silliest thing ever because he would never want that. “I’m here aren’t I? I would never want to leave you.”

“Good.” There was a smile back on his lips again. Baekhyun could practically hear it in his voice. “Because I love you too much to just let you go.”

The other smiled, turning around to kiss the soft lips in front of him. Every kiss they share still manages to take his breath away even after so many years. “I love you too.”

“So what do you say about a shower?” There was a glint in his eyes that Baekhyun knew all too well. He didn’t think he ever agreed to something so fast.

…

Later on after a really really long shower the blue eyed boy was back at the window. Only this time it was their bedroom window. The rain was falling hard but he could see the sun peeking out from under the clouds, indicating that maybe the weather will turn good again soon.

“Do you want to go out today love?” Came a sad voice from the bed where Chanyeol was stretched out on, eyes on him.

He asked that every day. No matter how much it pained him he still asked and just like every day the other sighed before looking at him with a smile. “No. Never. I’m happy here. I’m happy with you.” Baekhyun was straddling his hips by that point. Away from the window. But not before he saw the sun disappear completely again. And with that any chances of a better weather too.

But that’s okay. He doesn’t need better weather. He desn’t need to go out. He’s happy here. He’s safe here. Here with Chanyeol.

“Sleep Baekhyun. You seem tired again. I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

...

The walls were bare white. There were bloody scratch marks here and there though. Some fresh and some not.

His groggy mind could barely comprehend that much before blue eyes closed again.

There were tubes going out of his arm too. Keeping him alive and breathing, pumping him with pills to keep him sane probably.

He doesn’t  want to be sane though.

They said that this is real. That he’s in a hospital. That he has gone crazy.

But he knows that’s not true. Chanyeol isn’t there. He promised that he will always be there when he woke up but he never is here. So this can’t be real. This is just a dream. Just a bad dream and when he finally wakes up Chanyeol will be there just like he promised. He is always there.

Hoping that he will wake up sooner Baekhyun closed his eyes and kept pinching his forearm until it bled. But that’s okay. This isn’t real anyway.

It took hours maybe but the blood loss finally managed to make him drift away from this false reality. From this hell.

Blue eyes fluttered open slowly.

“Good morning love.” Chanyeol’s smile was the first thing he saw before he ducked down and pressed his lips to Baekhyun’s in a slow and sweet morning kiss.

“Morning.” Outside the clouds were gray and rain was falling relentlessly, followed by thunder. But still there was a smile on Baekhyun’s lips because Chanyeol is here. Just like he promised he will be.

“Why do you always come?” The blue eyed angel asked the demon sitting next to him.

The demon has been coming to see him, and just sat with him every single day for some time now. Always just sitting there in silence. Never saying a word. The angel was beginning to get curious and couldn’t keep quiet anymore.

“Even demons get lonely you know.” Chanyeol answered, shocking Baekhyun who didn’t know what to say to that. The demon looked sideways towards him and chuckled at the others expression. “Don’t look so shocked. Plus you fascinate me.”

“Why?” Baekyhun finally found his voice again. Feeling a little more relaxed now that they were actually talking, so much so that he ended up lying down on the soft grass. Looking between the sky and the demon whose eyes still kept so much mystery it was hard to look away.

“You’re very different from the others. And not just angels, demons too.” Chanyeol answered, looking down at the angel he wanted to call his. “The things you do and say…They are just very different from everything I thought I knew about angels. You are very different.

“I’m not that different. I just like to stay away. In the background.” The angel said honestly, eyes completely on the demon now.

“Exactly. No one else does that. It’s what makes you so different babe.” The nickname got another blush from the angel.

“Okay fine maybe I am a little different.” Baekhyun finally sighed in defeat. “That still doesn’t explain why you keep coming here. Aren’t you supposed to be terrorizing people and charming them with your lust and not just stalk an angel?”

“Well what if I don’t want to terrorize people. What if I want only one person to lust over me?” The demon asked, smirk still there but on a verge of a regular smile now. Softer.

“You are a demon. A demon of lust at that. I don’t think that’s even possible.” The angel was now looking at the sky once again, enjoying the light breeze on his skin. And that is why he didn’t see it coming. He didn’t see the look on the demons face as he watched him lying down so relaxed. He didn’t see him coming until warm lips were covering his and he didn’t know what to do with the sudden contact. But he didn’t have time to get over his shock enough to push the demon away either, because before he knew it the other pulled away on his own. Looking down at the shocked angel with a small smile.

“Well I’m just full of surprises, aren’t I my little angel?” And with one last wink he was gone, only leaving black smoke and red sparks behind. Along with a dazed, wide eyed angel who was still trying to comprehend what just happened.

Only able to think about the fact that before Chanyeol pulled away he definitely wasn’t even close to pushing him away. Quite the contrary actually.

And it scared him as hell.

The front door of a two storey house opened, letting three teenagers in. A black haired boy, a honey blond one and a boy with his hair colored pink because he lost a dare. It has been a long day in school and they all just wanted to leave their stuff and go out, on a date maybe or just to do something other then be stuck inside on a sunny day. Well two out of three wanted that. And those two were still trying to make their friend join them.

The one with blue eyes just wanted to get to his room and turn on the computer. Because there are more important things to him then to go out.

So with a quick ‘See you later’ to his friend’s he was rushing upstairs and doing just that before he even had time to set his school bag down, his friend’s finally giving up on him. He did manage to change his clothes into a little more comfortable ones, since he’s not going out anyway, and sat on his chair before it finished turning on.

But he was just it time, like always.

Just as he opened his internet tab a message came, making him smile even before he opened it.

Hey babe. How was school?

Boring as always. I barely stayed awake. He sent quickly before adding more. And your day?

Soooo boring. All I could think about was when you’ll get back so we can talk. I missed you.

The blue eyed boy was blushing at the reply he got, even if he was used to it by now. Even after months of them talking like this it was still something new to him. People don’t talk to him like this. They just don’t.

I tried looking for you again today you know.

Came a moment later and his heart skipped a beat. Part fear and part excitement, because he was still trying.

And…?

He sent with a gulp. Still not sure if he wants the other to know who he is. Or even if he wants to knows who the other is. He doesn’t want to lose what they have here if the other ends up not liking the fact that he’s that lonely guy who only ever talks to his two friends and stays in the background.

Still nothing :( Why don’t you just tell me who you are? We could finally meet. We could finally be together.

The blue eye boy sighed at reading the last sentence, not able to deny how much he wants that too. But chances for that are basically none. Not when he sees who he really is.

Because you probably wouldn’t want to when you know me.

I know you.

That’s not what I mean and you know it.

They met three months ago through a music sight and have been talking ever since. A month ago they found out that they go to the same school and everything went kind of downhill from there because the other one wants to meet the boy. He wants to know who he is. And true he wants that too but he still can’t help but be scared. No one wants to be with him. And he wouldn’t want it either. The boy is nothing special after all. And no one knows he’s gay anyway. Finding out who they really are can only complicate things really.

Please? I know you. I know everything about you and you do about me. Actually meeting can’t end bad. I know you think I wouldn’t like you then but it’s not true. I like you now and I’ll like you even more when we meet. Just please give it a chance. You like me too don’t you?

The boy sighed again but a small smile was on his lips now. Maybe it’s really time to give in. It can’t be as bad as he imagines it. It’s never as bad as he imagines it.

Fine. He wrote with shaking fingers but still made himself continue. Meet me tomorrow before school up front. I’ll be the awkward guy standing by the side.

He hesitated but still pressed the send button. Hoping he wont regret this but already kind of doing so as his mind went wild and not in a good way. Oh God, this can’t end well.

Thank you babe. Can’t wait for tomorrow then. I’m sure I’ll love you the second I see you.

He doubted it but still sent an ‘Hope so’ back.

That night he couldn’t sleep. He was too wired and tense to fall asleep so it took him hours to do so and in the end he ended up getting only a few hours of sleep, but still he was wide awake in the morning. Wide awake and terrified. I will meet him today. Oh God I will meet him today.

The words were echoing in the boys head as he made his way too school. He had half a mind to just forget it all and go to class right away but he still ended up standing outside and shifting from foot to foot continuously, looking down.

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. This was such a bad idea. Such a bad idea. I should just go. I shouldn’t have agreed.

He was about to leave, wining his inner fight, when there was a tap on his shoulder and he looked up. Ending up gasping at what he saw, because standing in front of him was Chanyeol. One of the popular guys in school, whose brown eyes always fascinated the raven haired boy.

And he was standing right in front of him with a smile. Why is he here? He can’t be….No way it’s him. No way. His mind was a mess and he had no idea what to say but luckily, or maybe not, Chanyeol spoke first.

“Well I would have said I’m surprised Baekhyun, but in a way I’m not.” At his words the others blue eyes went wide when he figured out that Yes this really is the same boy he has been talking to for three months now. Oh God this isn’t happening. He was just about to turn and run, not wanting to hear how the other changed his mind now that he actually knew who he’s been talking to, but a hand on his arm stopped him from doing so. “Don’t go. I came to meet the boy I have been talking to for the past three months and I can’t be more happily surprised when I saw it’s you.”

“Why?” Baekhyun asked in surprise. Really not knowing what to do.

“Well I never told you this but I was always watching you. I always noticed you Baek.”

The blue eyed boy blushed slightly and the other chuckled before doing something that Baekhyun definitely didn’t expect, and kissing him.

It was a soft kiss. One of those kisses that people share after knowing each other for months, after loving each other for months. But as Baekhyun kissed back he guessed they did. After all they really did know each other for months.

It was their first kiss.

The first of many.

“I’m so glad you’re not complaining about going to therapy anymore.“ A blond boy said with a small, relived, smile as he watched his best friend shrug on a jacket, getting ready to go to yet another meeting of Addicts Anonymous. It’s been a month and he has been going regularly, without complaint after the first time. He was so proud of him.

The boy in front of him just nodded, eyes on the floor and a hand shoved in his pocket as he opened the door with the other.

He couldn’t stand to look at the blond lately. Not with everything he was hiding from Luhan. Not with the other looking at him with so much pride he didn’t deserve.

“Bye Lu.” The words were barely audible but still there before he stepped out of the door and closed it firmly behind him, before sighing and rubbing at his reddened eyes tiredly. His hands were starting to shake again. He needed it again. He needed a hit.

One more glance at the door with an apology left unsaid and the black haired boy started walking. But not towards the meeting place where he is supposed to go. He hasn’t stepped foot there after they stopped escorting him days ago. No, he was walking towards somewhere else entirely. And he would have felt guilty if he wasn’t so desperate. But he was. So he didn’t.

I’m on my way. You got something?

The boy shot a quick message with shaking hands as he walked fast towards his destination. Already imagining dark brown eyes and hazy hours that await him. Hazy hours of high pleasure only one person can make him feel.

Of course babe. Always.

Came a reply not a minute later with one more following after.

The door is open.

A smile found itself on the boys face as he quickened his steps.

They have been doing this the whole month that his friends thought he was getting better. Instead of therapy going to Chanyeol’s apartment, where said boy fucked him senseless before handing him a baggie of something. Always with the same lazy satisfied smile, and always with a promise of more.

Baekhyun never would have thought he would be found in this kind of relationship. Or any relationship really. But he honestly couldn’t find himself minding it. Chanyeol was hot and he could give him what he wanted and more.

Sometimes he even stayed afterwards. Those times he found himself in Chanyeol’s embrace. And those times, when he stays just a little bit longer, they talk. They talk about family, life and dreams.

Those nights he feels like more then just a fuck buddy and it’s honestly nice. It’s nice talking to Chanyeol. Getting to know him. Chanyeol is nice. And Baekhyun finds himself falling for him fast, but still he pushes it down because it’s not the time. He is a wreck who doesn’t deserve Chanyeol. But still Chanyeol is there every time. Waiting for him, kissing him, touching him. Making him feel like a good kind of wreck for even just a few hours. And that is just fine. He would take that any day.

The stairs were creaky just like always and the door left unlocked like promised. That walk from the front door to the bedroom was short too. Jacket and shoes getting shed on the way until he was standing in the open doorway of the, now so familiar, bedroom with a small smile as his eyes fell on the barely clothed boy stretched out on top of the sheets.

A boy who looked at him with warm brown eyes and returned the smile with a smirk before he beckoned him over with a hand.

Not long after, Baekhyun found himself straddling the boy and kissing him, shirt forgotten somewhere along with cohered thoughts.

“So glad you could join me. The bed is so empty without you.” Chanyeol breathed against his neck as he kissed a trail down it, making Baekhyun moan into the silence of the room to what Chanyeol tightened his hold on his waist almost possessively, nipping a mark onto his neck.

All Baekhyun could do was laugh breathlessly as let himself over to the other.

He was slowly getting addicted to Chanyeol. But that’s okay. He’s addicted to everything else anyway.

It was sunny out. A really beautiful day filled with birds singing their songs between tree branches, and butterflies flying around from flower to flower.

There was a small creek at the edge of a forest that seemed like a mirror at the moment. No wind to ripple the surface so you could see the sky reflected in it. The sun of the afternoon sky. But you could also see a reflection of a boy sitting on the edge of it.

An angel with its wings spread wide, looking right into his own blue eyes reflected on the still water. Rustling it every now and again with fluttering of his wings when the heat got too much.

It was nice. It was peaceful as he lost himself in his thoughts and just listened to the birds sing around him.

The rustling of grass could suddenly be heard from somewhere behind him though, followed by a soft touch on his feathers not a minute later. The wings flinched forward at the touch but the angel still didn’t fold them. Didn’t move. And the touch was back. Light, and there only for a second before it was gone again and a man sat down next to the angel. Careful of the still stretched wings.

And then there was silence again. Not a word said.

“You always come back.” The Angel was the first to speak minutes later, turning his head slightly to meet brown eyes that were fixed on him.

“I always do.” The demon next to him sent a smile, one of his hands covering the angels, light enough that it was easy to get out of his grip. But he didn’t. The others hand stayed, making Chanyeol tighten his hold slightly.

“Why?” The blue eyed angel was back to looking at the water. Watching their joined reflection in it. A demon and an angel. The light and the dark. So different and yet…so similar.

He fluttered his wings slightly, rustling the water and watching in fascination as their reflections changed from clear to hazy. To just blurs that looked the same. No demon and angel. Just two blurs surrounded by blue. If only it was that easy.

“You know why love.” The answer was simple and quick, the demons eyes now focused on the creek too.

Love… He called him that a lot lately. Ever since he kissed him; the angel thought while his heart did a little skip at the sound of it. It wasn’t cocky or said with a smirk, it was affectionate, with a soft smile. Two things a demon of lust doesn’t do. And yet here he is. Right next to an angel. Saying and doing things that were against his nature but still felt so natural on its own.

“I know.” It was silent and barely there but still audible. Like a rustle of the wind.

“I’m going to keep coming until you send me away. I’ll keep coming until I touch and you pull away. I’ll keep coming until you…” The demon reached towards the others face and slowly dragged a thumb softly over his lower lip before shifting closer and pressing their lips together for only a second before pulling back and looking straight into the wide blue eyes with nothing short of adoration. “Until you stop kissing me back.”

Baekhyun let out a soft sigh before doing something he knows he shouldn’t and resting his forehead against the others. “You keep finding me, coming to me. You keep kissing me and even though I know I should, I never push you away. I should, but I can’t. Why can’t I?”

“Because you don’t want to.” Chanyeol answered softly. “Just like I can’t let you go.”

“We shouldn’t.” The angel whispered almost breathlessly, already inching his lips towards Chanyeol’s to lessen the gap.

“Maybe. But then again when did something ever feel this right before?”  Their lips touched then. Sealing into a kiss that they both craved for.

An angel and a demon. So different and yet so similar.

So wrong yet so right.

They knew they shouldn’t. They knew there are things that need to be left untouched. Things like demons and angels being together. And yet they didn’t move away. They didn’t break the kiss even as it got more heated. The angel didn’t push the demon away as he was lowered on the grass with the other hovering above him. He didn’t push him away because this isn’t just a demon. This is Chanyeol.

People say that the light and the dark don’t go together. But for them…Why did it feel so perfect then?

“I love you.” The words were soft and said with outmost affection like they always were. They made the brown eyed boy smile as he opened his eyes only to see the most perfect boy looking at him from above where he was lying on the bed.

“I love you too Baekhyun.” The boy answered with a slow smile as he stared at his love who was standing fully dressed next to the bed where he was only a few minutes ago. Shame. “Going already?”

The smile of the other turned a bit sad for a second before going back to full glow. “Sadly yes. I need to get back before mom figures out I’m gone. Don’t want her asking questions now.”

“Only three more months Baek.” Chanyeol reminded him when he saw him sigh. “Only three more months and we finish school.”

“Three more months and we can run away.” Baekhyun finished for him before ducking down and connecting their lips in a sweet kiss that turned less sweet rather quickly.

When they pulled away both were a little breathless but Baekhyun still pecked the others lips one more time before straightening up and pulling away.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep well.”

“You too.” Chanyeol replied as he watched the boy walk towards his bedroom window and climb out. Leaving no indication he was ever there other then the rustled sheets and a pillow that was always left with his scent covering it.

Chanyeol turned his head towards it now. It’s the only thing he has left of him for the next two days now.

They are neighbors but aren’t allowed to see each other outside of school. And even then they were watched closely so there isn’t any touching involved. It was like that ever since Baekhyun’s parent found them kissing a few months ago, after they have been dating for over three years.

But that’s fine. Baekhyun still sneaks over whenever he can and they only have three more months and then they are free. They can move away. They already found an apartment far from here. Far from their parents and old life.

They can start fresh and that is exactly what they will do. Start fresh together.

Chanyeol smiled at the thought.

Together.

Only three more months and they can be together again. He can deal with three more months.

The tall boy looked towards the still open window from where Baekhyun just climbed out of before snuggling more under the covers and closing his eyes to go back to sleep with a smile on his lips that still felt the ghost of a kiss from a moment ago.

Just three more months and they are free.

Together.

The light was too strong. As was the music; if that could even be called music that is. Baekhyun hated all of it. He couldn’t stand all the people grinding on the dance floor. It just wasn’t his thing. But his friends dragged him there. His friends who left to be with their boyfriends the second they stepped inside the club. He was happy for them, really. And besides he chould really enjoy himself too. Maybe get a drink or two.

With that thought he downed his third shot of the night. Or was it forth? He didn’t really know. Nor did he care. He didn’t even know what it was he was drinking; just that it made him feel a little less lonely even if it did make his head a little foggy. He was okay with that.

“Now what is a handsome guy like you doing all alone here?” He heard a voice say and it took him a second to figure out that the voice was talking to him. Blue eyes looked sideways, only to see a hot guy sitting next to him and staring right at him. He looked tall. Red hair a mess on top of his head with a pair of bright brown eyes underneath. Paired with tight clothes and styled hair the guy was really really hot. There was no reason for him to talk to Baekhyun. He really shouldn’t.

Blue eyes moved back to the now empty glass he was still holding. Already considering if he should get another when the guy spoke again.

“Oh come on don’t be like that. At least let me buy you a drink babe. One drink.”

He didn’t know if it was all the alcohol or if he was just really out of his mind but Baekhyun found himself nodding, which made the guy smile and order something Baekhyun didn’t even care to know, but just downed when it came. He was too far gone by that point. He never could hold his liquor.

When he looked back at the guy he found him smiling. “I’m Chanyeol. And you are?”

“Baekhyun.” It was a simple answer. He didn’t know what to do. He was never flirted with before. And the guy, Chanyeol, he was flirting. Right? Baekhyun was pretty sure he was flirting.

“Well it’s nice to meet such a gorgeous face.” Chanyeol said, still smiling while slowly sipping at his own drink. “Are you alone here?” He asked again and Baekhyun thought ‘why the hell not’ and resisted looking through the crowd to find his friend’s, nodding instead. What’s the worst that could happen? The guy was hot. And he could use a distraction.

“What a shame. Well more for me then.” Chanyeol winked and Baekhyun’s face heated ,what the other thankfully couldn’t see from the clubs light. “Care for another one?”

One drink turned into two, then four and then somehow Baekhyun found himself agreeing to ‘going somewhere more private’. After that it was all kind of hazy really. One minute he was pressed against the door of an unknown apartment. Lips on his in a heated kiss that he returned without hesitation. Maybe if he didn’t drink so much he wouldn’t. Maybe he would see what a bad idea this all was. But he did drink too much. So when he found himself being pushed onto a bed he pulled Chanyeol with him. Pulling him into another kiss. And another. And another. Until all their clothes were gone, somewhere forgotten.

And Baekhyun didn’t stop. He didn’t want to. 

There was a voice at the back of his head, saying something. Trying to put some reason into the boy but he was too far gone.

So he pulled the other as close as possible and let go.

There was no sun in sight. The sky was dark and the rain so close you could already smell it in the air.

And there was an angel. In the middle of A field, looking up. Looking broken.

It was a day he will always remember. A day everything went wrong. A day everything got broken.

The words echoed in his head still. Those words he hated so much but somehow all this time knew they will come. He tried to believe otherwise. Tried to convince himself it won’t happen. But it did. And there was nothing more he can do but remember. All he had now were only memories after all. Only memories because he lost the person he loved the most. He lost him. Just like that.

The angel lost his demon.

And all he can do now is remember.

It happened hours ago. The sun was still shining. But the birds were quiet. Everything was quiet. Everything was waiting.

He was waiting.

The blue eyed angel heard what happened from the others. He saw what will happen. He knew it was inevitable. And nothing ever hurt as much as that fact did. The fact that he can do nothing. That they can do nothing.

And then finally there were footsteps behind him. Slow and without any rush. Like they had all the time in the world even though they both knew they didn’t.

Arms encircled him from behind, pulling the angels back against the newcomers chest, still watchful of the folded wings. The embrace was so familiar and safe it made the angels chest hurt for the first time ever. Because this isn’t supposed to be happening. He doesn’t want this. Doesn’t want it at all.

“I don’t want to say goodbye.” He spoke first as a soft butterfly kiss was pressed against the back of his neck, turning around slowly to face the demon who was currently holding him close. Who had so many I love you’s left to say. So many promises that will be left unfinished. And the angel could see it all. See everything in those brown eyes he fell in love with so many months ago.

But it didn’t seem a lot now. So many months. They didn’t seem enough. They weren’t enough. They will never be enough. They went by too fast. Everything was happening too fast.

“I don’t either love. I love you. You need to remember that. I will always love you my angel. No matter how many miles we are apart.” The demon cherished the others cheek before slowly leaning in and pressing their lips together in a sweet kiss. Short but still perfect on its own. Just like every kiss they share is. Always perfect. “My angel.” He whispered again and pressed their foreheads again.

“Chanyeol…I love you too.” The angel replied, voice broken and a little choked. It was the first time he said it outloud. He was scared before. Too scared to admit the truth out loud even though they both knew. Even though Chanyeol said it every day. But now he has nothing to lose. He is about to lose the most important person in his life. They can’t do anything worse than that. No one can.

They can’t stop it though. No one can stop it. Too many angels have fallen. Too many humans brought into temptation only to crumble under it and give in. And it was all on demons. Demons did it all. And it didn’t matter that it wasn’t Chanyeol. Because he is a demon. And demons are all bad. Demons are all to be banished to the demon realm to never step foot on earth again.

Chanyeol was banished. And he will never get back home. He will never get back to his angel. He will never get to feel him in his arms, see those beautiful blue eyes he loves so much.

A demon is not supposed to love but he does. He loves his angel. And he is about to lose him forever just because of what he is. Baekhyun. His Baekhyun. His angel.

He could already feel it. He was slowly disappearing from this world. He will go away with just smoke and a few sparks left back as a reminder. Just like he always does. But this time. He won’t come back.

An angel and a demon held onto each other tightly. White wings enveloping them both like they were trying to keep Chanyeol there with the other even though they both knew he couldn’t.

And all the angel could do was watch as his love disappeared before his eyes. Just watch and hold on as much as he can until there is nothing left to hold onto.

He never knew pain before that. The angel never experienced pain and sadness and despair until he had to watch his love disappear before his eyes. The demons touch slowly disappearing too. Getting softer and softer until it was no more. Knowing it will be no more. There will be no more Hello’s. No more kisses. No more I love you’s. No more Chanyeol.

The angel never felt pain before. But now he was filled with it.

Because he just lost the love of his life to never return again.

There was no sun in sight. The sky was dark and the rain so close you could already smell it in the air.

And there was an angel. In the middle of a field, looking up. Looking broken.

It was a day he will always remember. A day everything went wrong. A day everything got broken.

A day he got broken.

“That’s a wrap.” The director, a short balding man, yelled out after a scene was finally filmed to perfection. Finally. They have been trying for so long to get this scene done without the main actors clawing each other’s eyes out. It was said metaphorically but the two men really didn’t seem that far from it really. Especially after that last fight. The security had to pry them apart before they kill each other.  But sadly they are the best so there is no other choice but to power through his main actors hating each other. That and always have pills at his side. Always. Because headaches are really easy to appear on this set.

He was just happy that they are almost done so he can go back to actually having days where he doesn’t have to drink three of those pills a day. It has been months since that last happened.

“Oh fuck you. It was not my fault we had to do so many takes. It was YOUR bad acting.” A voice trailed to him from the other side of the room and he just sighed, already rubbing at his eyes. Here it goes again.

“What do you mean my bad acting?” A black haired boy asked, blue eyes looking furious just like the rest of him. “Have you seen yourself? If it’s anyone’s fault it’s yours.”

“Oh please!” Brown eyes didn’t look much better than the blue ones. “I don’t even know how you got this gig. This is supposed to be a high end movie. Not amateur hour.”

“Don’t you dare.” They were in each other faces now, slowly but surely working up another fight.

“Baekhyun! Chanyeol! Stop it!” The director walked to them, making them step back from each other. “We’re done for today. Just…Just go home. Go home and get some rest. We’re starting again tomorrow at seven am. So be here.” He said, looking from one to the other warningly before walking away, mumbling about how he needs to restock on pills anyway.

“Alright guys.” The producer called out. “Someone make those two break away and go home. We’re done for the day.”

Everyone sighed in relief and Chanyeol and Baekhyun looked at each other one more time before walking away. Baekhyun going left and Chanyeol right. And no one could be happier then the director.

…

A black car stopped in front of an apartment building a little way out of the city, a black haired, blue eyed boy stepping out. He was coming home after a long day at work and a lot of fight between him and the actor that was working beside him. That was normal though. He was used to it.  They always fought. Ever since they met. And on every job since. Because people decided they liked hiring two actors that hate each other for the same thing. The movies sell better then, everyone says. The drama sells.

It was still a drag sometimes. Having to work like that. No matter the pay. Still, it is all better once he gets home. Because his boyfriend is always there. Always waiting because he comes home just a little bit before Baekhyun does.

They’ve been dating for a few years now and they still seem to fall in love more and more every day.

The door was unlocked when he tried it, just like always. And Baekhyun couldn’t help but smile when the second he stepped inside his lips were attached to a pair of others in a kiss that got heated pretty quickly. And Baekhyun loved it.

When they broke apart he opened his eyes slowly, still being pressed against the door, seeing brown eyes he loved so much. Brown eyes that look so soft and bright in the morning with the early sun lingering on his body from the kitchen window as they drank their respected coffee’s and talked. Just talked. A lot of I love you’s were shared during those mornings.

“Good job today.” A brown eyed one said with a smile before going for another kiss.

“You too.” Baekhyun replied back but still didn’t separate. He didn’t want to. He doesn’t have to. So they kept kissing. Kept kissing until it wasn’t enough anymore. And when it wasn’t they moved to the bedroom. Barely keeping their hands off of each other for long enough to open doors as they did. Half of their clothes were gone by the time Baekhyun’s bare back hit the soft mattress, dragging the other with him as it did.

“I love you.” He whispered between the kisses.

“I love you too.” Was what he got in return, like he always did. Because Chanyeol always answered. He never left Baekhyun hanging.

There was a time, before, when they couldn’t stand each other. Barely out of school and both wanting the spotlight but ending up having to share it made them hate the other. But that only lasted as long as a week. That was when the tension after a scene was too much and they ended up kissing. Just like that. And they kind of never stopped afterwards. They got together the next day and its all history from there. It’s all a story of love and pretending. Because they kept pretending. They figured they had to in order to be the best.

Drama sells after all. They wouldn’t have been the best if there wasn’t drama. If they didn’t fight and hate each other when they are in public. They wouldn’t be getting so many movies and series to act on together. They figured that out a long time ago. So when they got together they both decided to keep on the act. Which ended up one of the best ideas they ever had.

It rocketed them right to the top. They became wanted. They started getting more and more jobs together until they rarely did anything alone, just one of them. It all made it easier to keep their privacy. People are all so focused on the drama of them hating each other that no one even noticed when they moved in together. It was a risky move, they knew but it made them have more time for each other. Without all the hateful words and fighting.  Even though they never take them to heart. They are beyond that. There are too many I love you’s being said and too many kisses shared for them to take it to heart. It’s just an act.

And they know they can’t keep it up forever. They can’t keep their relationship a secret forever. But it has been three years and they’re still getting away with it.  They will keep getting away with it until they get caught. Until people notice that they are both registered to live in the same apartment. But it’s fine for now. They will keep up the act for now.

After all. It’s just an act.

The I love you’s said behind closed doors are true. The kisses and touches and heated night. Those are true. And they are the only ones who know it. They are the only ones who need to know it.

In public they hate each other and fight.

But at home no one has loved someone more then they love each other.

And nothing else matters.

Blue eyes slowly opened to the light of an early morning sun. And the first thing he saw was his boyfriend lying next to him, still peacefully asleep. It made him smile. Like it does every time. Because he can wake up next to Chanyeol every day. He is waking up next to him every day. And somehow it made better all the months they had to spend apart after his parents found them. It was worth it because they are together now and no one can break them apart again.

It was hard. The months of sneaking out and keeping their distance was the hardest thing he ever had to do. The hardest thing they both ever had to do. But they always had a plan. They kept saying that the second school is done they are moving. Moving away from their families. Running away because it was the only option they had left. And it was the only thing keeping him together those months they were kept apart.

And so they did. They boarded a plane right after graduation while their parents were distracted, and they flew off to another city. It was the safest bet. The easiest way out. They got an apartment there. Nothing big but it’s still theirs. They just had enough money for a few months of rent on that one. But they have jobs now so it’s going to be fine. It’s not perfect but it’s theirs and they are together. That’s all that matters.

He came to on an uncomfortable bed in a room that was too bright, to the point that it made his eyes hurt from the light, and with a beeping sound coming from right next to him. He knew right away. He knew where he is. He knew why he’s there. Only feeling a little disoriented but that’s normal. It’s not the first time he overdosed after all. So he’s used to it.

The only differece between all the other times and this one is the fact that it was an accident before. It wasn’t this time. This time he did it on purpose.

Because his parents are stupid. Because they can’t pass one family dinner without any snide comments and, in his dad case, hurtful questions about his sexuality. It’s not his fault. He can’t choose it. He never had a choice. He is how he is. But his dad can’t accept it. He could never accept it. It was not the first family dinner gone wrong though. They have it rarely but it’s always the same when they do. It’s always ‘Lets insult Baekhyun’ hour.

There was one thing different this time though. This time his dad has gone too far. This time no one made him shut up before he told him he wishes he was never born. This time he had to sit through his father’s hateful words and accusing gazes. This time it was too much. Everything was too much.

What is the point in him living anyway? He’s not going to do anything with his life. All he can do is destroy and disappoint. There is no point to him living. So he shouldn’t.

Those were the thoughts he had last night. Those are the thoughts he has still. He was thinking that when he took all the baggies Chanyeol gave him that he didn’t use. He hasn’t been using for a few weeks now. He’s been trying to stop. But there is no point now. There was no point ever. He shouldn’t have even bothered trying. But he did. He did it for his friends. And maybe, just maybe, for Chanyeol too. But he tried to burry that part of him. The part that loved Chanyeol. They aren’t together. They will never be together. Because Baekhyun is worthless. Broken.

He still tried getting fixed. He didn’t want to disappoint for the first time in forever. He felt motivated to stop for the first time because maybe it is worth it.

It was not.

Baekhyun got that yesterday. He got that it wasn’t worth it as he shoot everything he could find into his blood stream one after the other. Drinking all the pills afterwards until his mind finally shut up and until his dad’s words stopped echoing in his mind. Nothing is worth it. He should just die. So he did his best.

But it seems his best wasn’t enough; he thought as he hit the mattress beneath him with his fists, that really have limited movement considering he was strapped to the bed. He didn’t care really. He was supposed to die yesterday. That’s all he could care about. The fact that he failed. He even failed at killing himself. Oh his dad is going to love that one. More talks about how useless he is. Awesome.

His parents surely knew this time. He wouldn’t be strapped to the bed otherwise. All the other times Luhan or Sehun found him. His best friends who were always on a look out. Always keeping an eye on him so they can make sure he’s safe. That he’s alive. A lot of good that gave them. They shouldn’t have even tried. It’s not worth it. He’s not worth it.

Other than his friends though, his parents never knew. They never asked questions when he came home late or when he was so high he could barely walk, if even that. They never wondered. They never cared. He doubted they did this time either. Especially after last night. Why would anyone care about him anyway? There is no point. All he can do is disappoint.

“Why?” A chocked voice asked from beside him and he turned his head to see Luhan in tears. It came as a shock because he didn’t think anyone was in the room with him. “Why would you do that? All the things they found in you…It couldn’t have been just an accident this time. So why? Why would you try to do that?”

The blue eyed boy found himself staring at his best friend for a second more before speaking, voice scratchy and eyes sad. Defeated. Dead. “Why didn’t you let me?”

Hearing those words come out of his best friends mouth got Luhan into another fit of tears. That was his best friend on a bed in front of him. Barely alive and looking so close to death. Looking like he wants nothing else more in the world at that moment then to die. That is his strong best friend in front of him. Strong but left broken from his own parents because he isn’t what they wanted. He never wanted to hurt the others parents as he did in that moment. He saw him on that bed a lot of times but this is the first time Baekhyun didn’t smile at him from it. The first time he didn’t say ‘I’m all right’ even though they both knew that’s not true but hey he’s alive, and everything is going to be fine. It’s the first time his eyes look as dead as the rest of him. And he wanted nothing more than to kill his parents for making him like this. For breaking his strong best friend. For killing him.

“Thank God you’re awake.” Sehun marched into the room and straight to Baekhyun’s bed. Hugging him tightly for a second before letting go and glancing at Luhan just like Baekhyun was, only to look back again with sad eyes. “It wasn’t an accident this time was it?”

It was Luhan who shook his head because Baekhyun didn’t feel like moving. He didn’t feel like doing anything. Not with seeing his dad standing at the doorway, looking completely disguisted when his eyes fell on his oldest son.

“You are going straight to rehab once you’re discharged.” His father spoke first. Not even looking at him anymore. He didn’t seem like he wanted to. He never does though. “And afterwards you do whatever but you are not stepping foot into my house ever again.”

“No!” Luhan and Sehun both exclaimed, horrified. He can’t do that. He can’t kick Baekhyun out. He can’t. “Baekhyun needs help and you’re kicking him out? Are you really that stupid! ” Luhan continued, still in tears but looking angry now. “You can’t kick him out. He’s your son!”

“He’s no son of mine.” His dad said simply before turning around to leave. Not even bothering to look at the mess he is leaving behind.

“That piece of shit.” Luhan looked ready to go kill Baekhyun’s father but was stopped with a weak hold on his wrist from a pale bony hand of his best friend.

 “Don’t.” He whispered before letting go, and with regret Luhan did what he was told. Because he was still looking after him. Even after everything Baekhyun was still worried more about him then himself. It made new tears come to his eyes because the other still wants him safe.

Sehun ran after his father when he left, before Baekhyun could stop him so it were just the two of them alone in the room again. And the silence was defining.

“Where will you go?” Luhan asked, sitting down on a chair next to the bed again.

“I don’t know.” Baekhyun replied, not looking at him. In all honesty he didn’t plan on living long enough to figure it out.

“You know…” A new voice made Baekhyun look up with wide eyes, surprised to see the person that was standing before him. Because he recognized that voice. And those brown eyes too. Eyes that were currently zeroed out right on him. “You can come live with me.” The boy said, walking towards the bed Baekhyun was in, before stopping next to him. A side opposite from Luhan’s “And besides. I miss you when you’re not there.”

Baekhyun was left speechless. What was happening right now? What was Chanyeol saying? Did he even hear right? All he could do was stare as is mind raced.

“Who are you?” Luhan asked, standing up and looking between the new arriver and Baekhyun in confusion.

The two boys ignored him as the brown eyed one took Baekhyun’s hand in his before leaning in and pecking his lips once. “You ruined me you know.” He spoke again. “I haven’t slept with anyone else since I met you. I don’t think I can anymore really. But you just seem so determined to end your own life.”

“I-I didn’t.” Baekhyun spoke for the first time since the other walked in. “I stopped. I haven’t taken anything in weeks. But…”

“But you will do it again now. You will stop. You will get better. Then you will come live with me. And I will make sure you stay better.”

“Chanyeol…I don’t think I can…” Baekhyun sounded broken as he said it, avoiding the others eyes as he did.

“You can and you will. Because you’re the one who made me fall in love with you so you better take responsibility for it. That never happened before.” Baekhyun was shocked into silence again and this time Chanyeol turned to the only other person in the room when he did. “Hi. You must be Luhan. I’m sorry for being a little rude before but I’m Chanyeol.” He took Luhan’s hand in his for a shake. “Baekhyun’s boyfriend.”

“I…Okay.” Was all Luhan could say before looking at Baekhyun again, Baekhyun who finally found it in himself to talk again.

“How did you even know I was here?” He asked and Chanyeol smiled before sitting himself down on the chair next to the bed. “You have a friend who likes poking his nose into other people’s business. Or phones in this case I guess. Sehun called me because he saw that I am the most contacted person on your phone.”

“Of course.” Baekhyun sighed, to what Chanyeol just squeezed his hand lightly in reassurance.

No one cares about him. At least that’s what he thought before. That’s what was true just a few months ago. Other than his two friends of course. But they shouldn’t bother. No one should bother. And yet they do. Chanyeol does. They care. For some reason they care. And just like that Baekhyun thought that maybe he will try.

One more time he will try.

Maybe this time he succeeds.

Just one more time.

The graveyard was silent. Not even a sound of birds singing could be heard between rows and rows of gravestones. Gravestones gray and alone.

There was one. Surrounded by flowers. Flowers that were brought every day by a blue eyed boy that came and just sat there. He talked. Talked to the gravestone while pretending his best friend was still there. Still alive. People came and went but he stayed. Stayed for hours and then was back again the next day. No matter the rain or snow he was always there.

Every day since he died three years ago. Since his best friend died.

He always came for only one reason. He came to answer a question he didn’t have a chance to when Chanyeol was alive. He came to say yes. So he did. He came every day. Saying yes every time even though he knew it was too late.

It was ironic really. The one thing he kept coming there for was the same thing that killed Chanyeol in the first place. Because Chanyeol was waiting for him when that car hit him. Chanyeol was waiting for his best friend in hopes they will become something more. He hoped even though he knew it was worthless though.

Because Chanyeol…Chanyeol had a secret. A secret he only told his best friend about. He told him one night when they were twelve. He told him the craziest thing Baekhyun has ever heard. He told him that he will die young and alone. He told him he always knew it.

And of course Baekhyun just laughed it off. How could he even know that? It was impossible.

He should have listened though. He should have believed. Maybe then they could have avoided this. Maybe then his best friend would still be there to talk back when he told him about his day. Because he did. Every day he did. Just like they always did. Just now there were no laughs. To answers. No questions. Just silence. Always silence. There will always be just silence.

Baekhyun loved him. He loved him so much. In so many ways…So many nights, but he still lost him all the same. He shouldn’t have been scared to say yes when Chanyeol asked him to run away together. He shouldn’t have hesitated. But now it was too late. It was done now. He was too late.

This was a lifetime of curses. Chanyeol was cursed to die alone and Baekhyun was cursed to let him go. And in the end of the day all they could do was hope. Hope for a second chance. A second chance at love. A second chance at life.

This was a lifetime of curses. But maybe the next one will be better.

Humans.

So ambitious. So full of love and hate and hope. So much hope. He could sense it in every soul passing by him. He could sense so much hope and promise, it made the angel smile.

They’ve gone a long way in the hundreds of years that passed. All the demon washed away from their soul with only a few left. He was proud. He really was. He has been listening and watching all this time and he couldn’t have been more proud then he was.

It felt nice that they helped in making the humans what they are today. Guiding when no one else could.

But still… Still he missed him. There was still a hole in his chest that couldn’t be filled. Not with anything. Not with Chanyeol gone. He never got over it. In all the hundreds and hundreds of years…he never got over his love. He didn’t think he ever will. He loved the demon then and he loves him now. Nothing can change that. Nothing will.

So he is just left there. Waiting, wishing, hoping. Just like a human. All he had left was to hope that one day he will find his way back. Wishing that one day he will see those brown eyes and red hair again.

The angel knew there was no point in it. It would take a miracle to get the demon back. To get his demon back. And miracles are rare. Miracles are something humans believe in. It’s something no angel can get, but it still didn’t stop him from hoping. In so many years nothing has stopped him from hoping. So hope he did.

His wings rustled from a breeze that wasn’t there and the hairs at the back of his neck stood up suddenly. He didn’t know what but something was happening.

The cars were buzzing all around him when his blue eyes looked up and everything stopped. Because blue eyes met brown ones and his breath hitched.

“Hi”

The angel got his miracle.

In all the lifetimes, all the universes, two people kept meeting again and again and again. Some lifetimes were better than others and some ended in tears and heartbreak but all of them were still the same. All of them happened because a demon made a promise to an angel that he will keep coming back. And so he did.

A demon made a promise to an angel once. A promise he will keep forever. no matter how many lives they live.