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1.
Steve Rogers was always a morning person. He woke up at the ass-crack of dawn to run down the streets of New York and would always make it back by 7am to snag a cup of coffee and breakfast take-away before returning to the Tower. Then he would take a quick shower and start whipping up breakfast for the rest of the household in the kitchen depending on how many of them were awake by then. Usually Sam would be up, or Natasha and Clint coming back from another external mission.
Occasionally Stark would be present at the table, but it was usually because he had pulled another all nighter down in his lab and was forced to come up and eat courtesy of FRIDAY under threat of the AI pulling the plug on his work. After the Accords had been all smoothen out there were long months of ironing out the consequences and a million apologies but in the end everything turned out more or less alright, subjective to different people of course. Steve knew that he had shattered whatever fragile trust he had between himself and Tony and now made it his mission to slowly right his unforgivable wrongs.
Starting with breakfast. Baby steps right?
Slowly, the Avengers, both new and old had started integrating themselves back to the Tower. Now and then, Scott Lang would drop by with his girl to sight-see, sometimes the crime-fighting teen would come by and Tony would open his lab for the kid. But no one would make a greater entrance than the man who called himself the Sorcerer Supreme. Apparently New York had wizards who could teleport and do magic now. Well, after aliens, sentient sociopathic AIs and a Mad Titan who wanted global annihilation, there was really nothing surprising there.
It wasn’t uncommon to see familiar faces lounging in the living room or hanging out on the spacious ground floor playing a round of cards. They left the kitchen for him thought. Everyone knew Steve was the only one responsible enough to cook up something edible without burning the place down. It was a nice routine and Steve appreciated routine.
So when that routine was rudely broken, nothing could prepare Steve for what he saw taking place in the supposedly empty kitchen.
Or rather the floor of the kitchen.
It looked as if something had exploded in there. There were large splotches of brown plastered on the counter, the cabinets and the floor. The tap was still running, water swirling away into the drain.
But Steve was blind to all of that because oh. OH.
Kneeling in the middle of the mess was undoubtedly and unmistakably Tony Stark. His head was leveled with someone’s crotch and shakily Steve’s head provided him with a tidbit of information that the guy standing before Tony was the goddamn Sorcerer Supreme. The wizard had been stripped of his customary navy-blue robes and was currently bare-chested, almost double-over. One hand was clutching the top of Tony’s brown hair and the other gripping his shoulder. The sorcerer’s eyes were squeezed close, his mouth half-open and panting with what looked to Steve was like a mix of bliss and fervor.
Suspicious looking stains were pooling in between the two men and literally the last functional brain cell in Steve’s head vanished. Gobsmacked and scandalized, the blond felt heat rise to his cheeks and literally turned tail to get the fuck out of there because oh lord they are literally doing it in the middle of the kitchen-
But in his haste to flee with his tail between his legs, his arm slammed against the door. Instantly, the two occupants going at it on the ground froze and Steve wanted to die.
“Oh my god Steve. Oh my fuck.”
There was the sound of a hasty swipe of cloth on the floor and Tony was suddenly up and running to block the blond from leaving.
“I swear this isn’t what it looks like!”
There was an embarrassed clearing of the throat and the baritone voice of the Sorcerer Supreme spoke out from behind. And thus a torrent of words and justification came tumbling out from both parties responsible.
“It was an accident, Tony spilled the entirety of the steaming coffee pot onto me-”
“I was trying to cool the bur-”
“My magic repelled the pot and its contents off but not before soaking into my robes and scalding-”
“He had to take them off so I could-”
Mortified, Steve weakly waved the men away into silence, trying not to lose his good-judgement there and then. He had heard enough and seen enough.
Another 70 years of sleep to burn the vivid images currently fused to his brain sounded very, very fine just about now.
“Y-You are cleaning the kitchen up Stark.” Steve finally managed out finding his frozen tongue and blushing like a ripe tomato.
“I’m not doing any cooking in there until everything had been sanitized- twice!”
2.
For a bunch of superheroes who honorably took down villains on a daily basis, Bruce Banner sure thought that said bunch of superheroes truly could not complete the simplest meagre tasks around the Tower.
One of the skills they failed to pick up was returning the stuff they used in the Tower back where they found them. More often than not, Bruce would find the weirdest things in the weirdest places.
Take for example just this morning, the doctor found an empty box of pop-tarts in the fridge, a whole cutlery set under the couch and an xbox one controller in the goddamn microwave.
Apparently Clint had exchanged his controller with a bowl of pop-corn he had heated up for a movie. Literally.
Bruce found that trying to find misplaced items was as good as trying to hit a bullet with a smaller bullet, whilst wearing a blindfold, riding a horse. In simpler terms: It was easier to let the items be discovered on their own in places they least expected them to be. He had long lost count of the number of knick-knacks he had lost over the years.
The latest miserable object to go missing this afternoon was the lab towels and hand-rags. Tony had offered to get them clean and the man had yet to return with said rags.
It looked like he had to go hunting for fresh towels down in one of the utility closets. Normally, he would get one of the bots to do the job but Bruce was absolutely done with the people of this household. This time he would go and do it personally and make sure something was done right goddamit!
Maybe it was just Bruce’s stroke of bad luck or some higher-entity not wanting to break his streak of discovering stuff in unorthodox places but heck, this absolutely changed the definition of finding weirdest things in the weirdest places.
“Damn, it’s so dark. I can’t see squat.”
Oh he would recognize that voice anywhere.
Tony Stark was in the fucking utility closet.
An ominous creak of wood and metal rattled the tiny room and Bruce did a double take at the sound of another voice.
“It’s alright, you don’t need light to see and feel it Tony.”
And, by God so was Doctor Stephen Strange.
Bruce inhaled sharply, dread creeping into his heart at what he suspected was coming. He knew his fellow science brother had the hots for the sorcerer who was the newest member of the Avengers but he didn’t think they had even gotten pass their first date yet.
Clearly they have definitely gotten far past the first base, that was for sure. The next words that had flowed out of utility closet #3 had sealed the deal.
“Gosh, this is so cliche. We’re actually doing this in a mop closet Stephen? Who are we, a pair of horny teenagers?”
“I told you, it has to be dark for me to perform this magic.”
“Fine. Ugh, this space is really tight, try not to blow me up in the process.”
Lord have mercy they were actually fucking in the utility closet.
Extremely traumatized and greatly disturbed, Bruce flushed a fantastic shade of scarlet than could rival the Cloak of Levitation and proceeded to back away slowly. He had absolutely zero intentions of figuring out his friend’s sex life. Especially if said friend was called Anthony Edward Stark and was making out with another man who was The Sorcerer Supreme. It was not on a need-to-know basis.
At no time would this ever be on a need-to-know basis.
But of course the Gods above must be mocking Bruce Banner and smiting him for the myriad of sins he had committed in his lifetime because the shifting and creaking of the closet suddenly went silent and then-
“Someone’s outside.”
Before the scientist would get the hell out of Dodge, there was a whoosh of raw energy and a surge of electrifying magic and the doors of the closet slammed open to reveal two disheveled occupants…
Who were fully clothed?
“Hey Brucie Bear!” Tony gave him a cheery wave as if he hadn’t been roughing around like beasts in enclosed space.
“What brings you down here?”
“Wh-Why were you two in…” The rest of the sentence died on his tongue at the sight of the most frightening smile that had spread across the sorcerer’s face.
“Oh Stephen was testing out his glow-in-the-dark spells.” Tony piped in innocently, jerking his head in the taller man’s direction as if to backup his claim.
“Indeed.” Stephen then proceeded to do a furry of complicated sigils and conjured up a glowing cerulean sphere in the center of his scarred palm. The cube seemed to be radiating natural white light.
“That was exactly what I was doing.”
Mmhmm just vanilla spells. In a dark utility closet. 10 feet by 20 feet.
And Bruce was the world’s biggest idiot.
Struggling to scrub the obscene image, the scientist figured that ignorance was bliss.
He really, really did not want to know.
Let it be on record that amongst everything else that went missing today, Bruce could now add his sanity on that godforsaken list.
3.
It was that same time of the year where the annual Stark Charity Gala proceeded. Similarly to the past few years, Tony attended them diligently to sweet talk with investors and ensure things were still running as they should be. But mostly to show the world that he indeed was more than fame and riches. Not that he needed to prove himself worthy of that anyway. You had to be blind, dumb and deaf to neglet the fact that Tony Stark had a heart of pure gold.
Unsurprisingly his plus one was Doctor Strange. The pair were practically attached to the hip nowadays. They have yet to make an official move on the other though. But what did surprise Rhodey was FRIDAY’s announcement of the returning arrival of the pair. It wasn’t even past midnight yet. There was absolutely no reason for Tony and his companion to be back so soon.
Taking the elevator up to Tony’s personal level, Rhodey decided to check in with his long-time friend. Perhaps something had happened that triggered Tony’s old PTSD. The man had a ton crushing guilt and a mountain of issues, it wouldn’t be the first time and unfortunately it wouldn’t be the last time. A nagging feeling of worry crept its way around the Colonel’s heart as he walked down the long corridor towards Tony’s bedroom where FRIDAY had indicated the man was currently at.
Rhodey wondered where Doctor Strange had wandered off to. Surely the sorcerer couldn’t have possibly left Tony incapitated and alone-
“uHH f-fuck me Stephen.”
Oh. Oh dear. Well he definitely knew where the good doctor was now. There was a rough bodily-slam of someone getting shoved against the smooth metal walls and a low huskily growl .
“C’me o-on y-you know you want-t ittt!”
You’ve got to be kidding me.
By the sounds of it, Tony was extremely plastered and was teetering into the direction of becoming a blackout drunk. Gosh, how much did he drink at the Gala? The rustling of clothes being clumsily unbuttoned and harsh breathing between two parties filled the corridor. Heart beating rapidly in his chest, Rhodey was torn between backing out immediately and making sure his friend wasn’t going to do anything he regretted with the other man whom was obviously becoming more than a friend to him.
There was another louder thump as if a different body had been introduced to the wall. And so the scene that greeted Rhodey as he rounded the last bend froze him in his tracks and engulfed him in stricken horror.
Stephen had Tony firmly pinned like a fly on the side of the hallway.
Greedy irritated moans were emitting from the smaller man’s lips as he struggled to get free from the sorcerer’s grip. Tony head was straining forward, eyes glassy and unfocused while clawing vainly at Stephen furiously.
Before Rhodey could pounce onto the sorcerer to demand what the fuck was going on Stephen who was frowning, pointedly spoke out firmly.
“No. Not right now.” The sorcerer gently ruffled the mop of soft brown hair with a free hand.
“Not in your current state Tony.”
“Give m-me one kiss c’me onnn.”
“Nope.” Stephen popped the ‘p’ deliberately and proceeded to bodily lift the smaller man in an unsteady fireman's carry. “Come on, we gotta get you back into your room before someone sees you acting anymore inappropriately in public.”
“B-But disss is m-my T-Tower!!” Came a slurred retort of frustration as limp hands curled into fists and begun to weakly slam against the back of his black tux.
“Ugh stop that.” Stephen sighed heavily and Rhodey watched as he set Tony delicately back down against the wall again several yards from the bedroom. The sorcerer had a mix of fondness and exasperation plastered on his face as his trembling hands carded tiredly through the silver strands at his temple. “We do share your home with others if you are unaware.”
Then the doctor crouched down and started to manhandle the suit jacket off the incapacitated man.
“Come on at least let me get you comfortable if you just want to sit there.”
“OOoh. You r-ripping my... clothes off in a-a darkened c-corridor mhmm… yessss people might talk.”
“Tony please. Be reasonable. Gosh you will regret this in the morning.”
Feeling a growing migraine settling somewhere at the back of his head, Rhodey decided to grow some balls and be a man to get to the bottom of this increasingly unsettling and bizarre situation.
“Colonel Rhodes.” The doctor greeted neutrally as if he did not have a horny and heavily drunk billionaire slumped by his side and was currently stripping off said man’s clothes.
“Apologies for waking you. I require some assistance, it seems that this side of Tony is… difficult to handle at times.”
Wordlessly, Rhodey swung a hand around his friend’s shoulder as Stephen mirrored on the other side. Wasting no time at all, the man asked his burning query.
“What the hell happened?”
Grunting a little as a flailing hand smacked his chest, Stephen sighed again, seemingly disgruntled.
“There was a minor incident at the Gala. Tony accidentally drank someone’s spiked margarita. I took the liberty of bringing him home before anything else happened.”
The sorcerer’s face darkened dangerously.
“Rest assured the parties responsible had been dealt with- severely .”
Stunned and not knowing how to react in anyway, Rhodey opened his mouth, only to close it again. At his hesitance, Stephen narrowed his eyes.
“I would not take advantage of him in anyway. Not while he’s like this. You have my word.”
With a twirl of his finger, the doors of Tony’s bedroom swung open with the help of magic. Together, the pair finally managed to wrangle the billionaire’s clothes off and get him safely in bed.
Stephen sat on the edge of the bed as Rhodey watched out of the corner of his eye on how the sorcerer looked at the slumbering man with such tenderness in his gaze. Looking away at the surprising intimate scene, he started to head out to get some rest himself after the perplexing rollercoaster of a night.
“Have a good night Colonel.” Stephen’s voice floated by in his leaving wake.
Needless to say, Rhodey did not get a good night rest- at all. Shaken by what he saw and what he thought would have taken place, his dreams were plagued with the scarring conjured image of Stephen fucking his best friend into the wall. And judging by how sickly hungover Tony looked the next day, he wasn’t the only one feeling the effects of the night before.
4.
Peter Parker was currently having a very good day. A very good day indeed. School ended early today because his AP History professor was under the weather. He had scored an A for his latest Biology test and most importantly, MJ had decided to sit with him during lunch break today. Being Spiderman was tough no doubt but it was these simple things that really made Peter’s day.
Thus, the teen had decided to end his day on a high by dropping by the Tower and giving Mr Stark a surprise visit. He really enjoyed his time tinkering with his pseudo-father figure. The lab was his sanctuary and Peter knew that he was always welcome anytime. Mr Stark’s door was always open-
Huh, it was closed today. That was funny. The blast doors were not down so Peter figured that there was nothing explosive going on in the labs and that perhaps Tony had left to grab lunch or something.
“Hey FRIDAY!” The teen tilted his head to the ceiling in wonder. “Is Mr Stark out?”
“Hello Peter, Boss is currently residing in the lab. But he is not alone today.” The reliable AI spoke through the thin walls.
However, that was not the only sound that resonated through the walls.
“Shit! Oh that hurts. S-Stop!”
The voice of Mr Stark rang out clearly from within the lab with an obvious sound of discomfort and pain. Alarmed, Peter immediately sprang to offense as FRIDAY’s announcement of Tony not being alone ran through his head. With a command to fetch backup, Peter immediately got into action. Easily prying open the closed doors with his inhuman-strength, the teen rushed through the lab on high-alert.
He pressed behind a pillar several yards away to surveil the current situation. No use the both of them getting caught by whoever had broken into the secure building and gotten pass the AI. But it turned out it was a false alarm because there was a long-suffering sigh of relief and a squeak of the couch like it had suddenly supported someone heavier than normal. Peter then heard his mentor speak again, albeit it sounded like it was muffled.
“Mhmm ok that’s better.”
There was a familiar flash of crimson and hey wasn’t that Doctor Strange? That was a surprise. Peter knew about the doctor and had visited his sanctum after the fight on Titan. Stephen was a pretty cool guy after you looked past his snarky attitude and heavy sarcastic nature that could rival Mr Stark’s. Going through his magic-portals were super dope as well. Peter kinda liked Stephen and once he had gone to the doctor for a flu prescription much to the sorcerer’s chagrin. The teen knew that the two men had chemistry but he never knew that Mr Stark had actually allowed the wizard into his sacred domain.
“Lie down and relax.” He heard Stephen announced. There was a shuffling of clothes and then another burst of confidence. “Let me handle it.”
Handle it? Handle what? Frowning, Peter decided to scale the walls to get a better view. With the cause for concern gone, curiosity had gotten the better of him. Against better judgement, the teen began to creep along the ceiling to get closer and finally he caught sight of the pair.
Mr Stark was lying on the couch, face down and barebacked. His arms were crossed, head resting atop them. Facing Peter’s general direction, the teen could make out raw delight plastered on his mentor’s usually tight features. What made the situation more weird was the fact that Stephen was straddling Tony, his knees by Tony’s bare torso. Stephen’s hands were no longer shaking but firm as the sorcerer pressed both of his palms down onto soft flesh emitting low moans of pleasure from the man under him. The Cloak flared out behind Stephen, apparently covering both men who were grinding against each other and didn’t seem to be wearing anything underneath-
“Oh my god that’s the spot yes!”
“Mhm do you like it Tony?”
“Fuck Stephen! Harder!”
For the hOLY LOVE OF GOD HOLY SHIT. THEY ARE HAVING SE-
Scarred with explicit imagery, Peter’s brain positively short-circuited with a spectacular flash of white. With a feeble squeak, the teen promptly crashing down from his spot on the ceiling in an unceremonious heap of limbs, jerking the two men up from their positions on the couch.
“P-Peter?! What are you doing here?”
In a flash, Mr Stark had tossed on his discarded t-shirt and was clambering his side, possibly checking him for injuries from the fall. Another second and Stephen had appeared on his other side. The sorcerer’s hands had reverted back to shaking and was currently sweeping over Peter’s body and healing his blooming bruises. But oh the teen couldn’t care less about his aching muscles. Tony was wearing pants. They were both wearing pants. Hell, Peter really could not fathom how he was to react if they weren’t wearing pants .
Peter’s unresponsiveness and utter shock must have been clear because Mr Stark blanched as realization dawned on his mentor.
“Oh-Oh no this wasn’t what it looked like. Kid, kid he was only giving me a back massage!”
“I do have a pair of dexterous hands when I temporarily infuse them with magic.” The Sorcerer Supreme disclosed none-to humbly, a glint of mischief in his multicolored eyes.
“Stephen you douchebag! You are not helping!”
With one stricken hand on his face, Peter painfully picked himself off the ground and decided to beat a hasty retreat no wanting to be accountable for the accidental voyeurism he had almost been exposed to. As he blindly dashed out of the lab as if the very hounds of hell were snapping at his heels, Peter almost collided into the broad side of a red and white shield. Clint and Sam were not far behind Steve who were charging in the direction of the lab as well.
“Where’s the emergency? FRIDAY said there was a break in?” The Captain asked not seeing any signs of said intruder.
“Y-Yeah I just walked into a true crisis.” With a trembling finger, Peter pointed to the confronted lab with a harsh jerk.
“If you excuse me, I’m going to drink bleach and buy a new brain.”
In his fleeing wake, Peter left two clueless avengers and a long-suffering sigh of exasperation from a knowing Steve Rogers.
+1
“This has gone way too far.” Bruce had announced to the crowd of Avengers currently gathered for an emergency meeting in the living room.
“Can I have a show of hands who had been accidentally exposed to Strange sightings of suspicious nature between two particular individuals?”
Several hands shot up. There was a collective groan of resignation and muted exasperation.
“Hush hush, lets have some order around here please.” Clint had placated as he stood up on the couch trying to gain back control.
“I don’t think Stark and Strange have been that bad -"
A multitude of voices chorused simultaneously.
“Performing magic tricks in a mop closet?”
“Look at the kid, he’s practically catatonic.”
“Oh boy… I hope the kitchen had been cleaned.”
“FRIDAY!” Natasha shouted over the boisterous noise of men.
“Where is Tony Stark and Doctor Strange now?”
“I’m not entitled to tell you.” The surprising announcement from the AI plunged the chaotic din into some semblance of order.
“Sorry, say that again FRIDAY?” Rhodey, the only individual current working with more than one brain cell asked questioningly.
The next sentence incidentally took out all said remaining brain cells.
“The ‘Magic Hands protocol’ has been activated, Mr Rhodes. Boss said that his time with Doctor Stephen Strange should not be interrupted or further disturbed anymore .”
An epic stupefied silence engulfed the clearing and poetic horrifying realization instantly dawned on each soul in the room.
“A-Are you saying that all this time, they were actually-“
+Bonus+
“Oh you should have seen Steve’s face when he walked in yesterday.” Stephen exclaimed as he stretched out on the bed, exposing bare skin and grinned wildly at his boyfriend.
“It was absolutely priceless. I wished there was a camera in the kitchen.”
“Gosh babe,” Tony sighed rolling his eyes, albeit good-naturedly, “discussing our friend’s reactions to our shenanigans is not what I had in mind during pillow talk.” Huffing, the sorcerer lifted his palm to levitate two pillows before tossing them gently at the billionaire.
“I can’t help that your friends keep appearing at the oddest times and places,” Ignoring the smaller man’s indignant squawk when the first pillow hit it’s mark, Stephen continued fondly.
“Thank The Vishanti for magic.”
Snorting, Tony curled his lip into a sly grin, catching the second one before it could make an introduction with his face again.
“Soooo are you going to tell Banner than all magic produced by Sorcerers glows in the dark?”
“Hell no.” said sorcerer quipped cheekily. “The man had seven PHDs. Let him figure it out on his own.”
“Oh you are one bad, bad boy Stephen Strange.”
“That’s why you love me and you know it.”
“Speaking about friends…” Tony muttered almost to himself as he beckoned Stephen to scoot closer to him. “Rhodey was looking greener than me this morning. Please say I didn’t do anything stupid after the horrible drink saga.”
Pressing a tender kiss on soft brown hair, Stephen wrapped his arms around the smaller man tenderly, “Don’t worry. He was just worried, I made certain that the situation was clarified promptly with him.”
“Phew, that's a relief,” Leaning in to the touch, Tony continued on, a tinge of guilt tangible in his voice, “But I think we really, really need to apologize to the kid.”
“Yeah I don’t think Peter would be venturing into your lab anytime soon.”
Gathering scarred hands into his lap, Tony ran his fingers down each raised line, inciting a shiver down Stephen’s back as the smaller man hummed in wonder. “That was a fantastic massage you did for me after though.”
“With or without reinforcing them with magic, you still have magical hands babe.”
“Well,” The sorcerer purred as he rolled over so he was straddling the billionaire under him. His supernatural blue eyes almost glowing with unobscured lust.
“Shall we reactivate them again?”
“Oh hell yes!”