Chapter Text
It was a strange night.
Agrabah was weirdly silent, despite the presence of such an important guest. No voices were to be heard. The only noise came from the strong wind which Jafar could hear howling outside of his room.
He stood in front of the wide window located at the center of his chamber, trying to enjoy the last glimpses of the beautiful desert lightened by a moon which was progressively disappearing behind a wall of clouds.
His presence was required downstairs in the main chamber, but he tried to escape the Sultan and his guests for as long as possible, as he needed some time for himself. In fact, he enjoyed being alone.
The quietness of his room allowed him to think rationally.
He let his mind wander through the many irritating and tedious events of the last few days.
Prince Naji and his powerful entourage were visiting Agrabah with the obvious aim of winning Jasmine's and most importantly the Sultan's simpathy.
Jafar hadn't met them yet, he pretty much purposely avoided them, but he already knew which kind of people they were.
The grand vizier, in fact, was not a fool. He knew that the opportunity of becoming Sultan just by marrying a lonely girl was not to be wasted. But he also knew that all the effort and suffering he put into the research of the lamp was going to pay off. He was not going to let some random prince from who knows where just marry the princess and become Sultan.
The vizier suddenly stopped looking at the dunes through the window, and he started slowly walking up and down his chamber.
In order to become a good leader, Jafar considered, you have to be aware of the backstory of the place you intend to rule. And no one knew Agrabah's story more than he did. No one else took the time to read all the books he studied, nobody knew how many nights he spent trying to guess what it would feel like to have such a great power, the power of a Sultan.
A power which could never even remotely cross the mind of a lonely kid, a street rat like he once had been.
He distractely looked at the latest street vendors that were leaving, depriving the alleys of the only source of light which was represented by their lanterns.
With such a great power, Jafar continued reasoning, he would have been able to punish all those who mistreated him. Such an authority would have allowed him to take revenge on those who, when he was young, were willing to watch him die of hunger without moving a finger.
Jafar's proud grin grew as he contemplated the possibility of harming those who tortured him in prison, various years earlier.
He never told anyone, but he had promised himself that one day he would have returned the favour to the prison guards who tortured him.
They deserved to experience the same pain he went through because of them.
He could never forgive them, and he will never forget.
He would have made them scream in pain, until they'd have begged to be killed, and...
The vizier stopped walking back and forth, and he slowly turned again towards the big window in the center of his room.
The darkness of the cloudy night occluded the sight of the desert blown by the wind. All the vendors were gone, and everything had turned dark outside, thus all Jafar was able to see was his reflected image on the window's smooth glass.
He was the only one in the room, but the man in the reflection did not look like him.
In fact, the figure which Jafar saw in the window looked like a maniac, a madman.
A man with a strange, sad, lost sort of look.
When did the thought of hurting people started to amuse him?
Was he going insane? Was he turning into a monster?
Jafar covered his eyes with his hands, breathing rapidly.
Did he really care? Did he deserve to care about himself?
The grand vizier was horrified by his own reflection. He backed up a couple of steps.
"What have I become?" He whispered to himself, wondering if the haunted eyes which returned his gaze from the window pane were actually his own.
A low muffled thud interrupted his gloomy thoughts. Someone was knoking on his door.
Jafar, with a lump in his throat, decided to resign to his destiny. He took a deep breath as he started to mentally prepare himself to the nightmare-like evening ahead of him.
He wiped away a tear, pulling himself together, a stoic expression on his face.
"Come in" the vizier said with a falsely calm ton of voice.
Hakim opened the door and stood in the doorway, motionless.
"I was just about to come downstairs" Jafar said, looking at the guard while trying to keep a detached attitude.
His hands were shaking, and he grabbed the arm of his chair to hide it.
Hakim glanced at him, but remained silent.
The vizier was trying to avoid eye contact. He didn't want his only friend to see the monster he just saw reflected on the window's glass.
Even though Jafar was very skilled at hiding his emotions, the older man knew something was off. In fact, he had known that for a long time.
Over time, the vizier's eyes had lost the spark which used to characterize them.
Hakim couldn't blame him, because he knew all the suffering he went through.
But this evening the man seemed more upset than usual.
"Jafar"
Hakim called his name, but the vizier's mind seemed to be in a weird fog. He closed his eyes for a long while before opening them again, trying to focus on something other than his reflection on the window.
Dead silence fell on the chamber. Jafar could hear the blood pounding in his ears.
He was standing still, keeping a tight grip on the chair, his eyes focused on an undefined spot on the floor.
The weird atmosphere was interrupted once again by Hakim's voice.
"Tell me about it, get it off your chest"
The older man's words catched Jafar by surprise.
The grand vizier slowly looked up at him with a questioning look, meeting his eyes for a short second.
"What the hell do you even mean, Hakim?" he replied jokingly, trying to laugh him away.
"I mean to say" Hakim started walking towards Jafar "that you should rely on your friends a little more".
The guard stopped in front of Jafar, and he stared at him right in the face.
Jafar looked at Hakim's shoulder, still trying to avoid eye contact.
He was afraid that by returning his gaze, Hakim would have noticed the cold distance in his stare.
"I don't know what you're talking about".
Jafar tried to brush him off like that, all he wished was to escape the uncomfortable situation he was trapped in.
To support his affirmation he let go of the chair and he made his way towards the spiral staircase which led to the main chamber where the guests were.
As he arrived on his room's door, however, he noticed that Hakim hadn't moved.
"I thought that you came to tell me that the Sultan requires my presence in the main hall" the vizier said quietly.
With an undefined look on his face, Hakim shaked his head, but he eventually started following the younger man down the staircase.
As they got closer to the main chamber, the dull sound of voices got higher and higher.
Hakim looked at Jafar's sad expression, and Jafar briefly looked back at him, a sort of resigned half-smirk on his face.
"Don't look at me like that, you're going to have fun" Hakim said, with an ironical look on his face.
"That's for sure" nodded Jafar with a little grin as he walked towards the entrance of the main hall, wishing to be in Hakim's company for a little more.
"I hope to see you later tonight" said the guard before walking away.
Jafar looked at him until he disappeared in the nearby corridor, feeling a strange lightness in his stomach.
The main chamber was brightly-decorated with flowers and golden lamps, which created an atmosphere of feast.
The vizier, avoiding any social interaction, walked straight to the end of the room where Sultan Hamed was sitting.
"Good evening my Sultan"
Jafar greeted Agrabah's leader with his usual politeness, sitting on the empty chair next to his throne.
"Jafar, there you are!" Said the Sultan, with a kind expression on his face.
"Prince Naji really went all out with his gifts" he whispered to the vizier.
"Did he?" Jafar really couldn't care less about the spoiled prince and his entourage.
"Yes" nodded the Sultan, looking at prince Naji's figure standing next to the princess, on the other side of the room.
"They brought us countless golden statues and luxurious fabrics, and..."
"Will their wealth help them to be skilled in politics?" Jafar sharply interrupted the Sultan's depiction, looking at him straight in the eyes with a raised eyebrow.
"They can dress with the finest silk, they will look very charming sitting on your throne. But will they rule with compassion and justice?"
Jafar's tone was calm, but his gaze was severe.
The Sultan breathed out a long sigh, nervously playing with his armlet.
They both looked up to witness the pitiful scene of prince Naji trying to impress the princess.
Jafar's smirk started growing. It seemed like the princess was beyond annoyed with the spoiled man, who looked so full of himself.
She turned over and gave them a really mad look.
"I think she's loving him" Jafar said all innocent, crossing his legs and sitting back on his chair.
"She is, right?" The Sultan sighed again and took a sip of tea before putting a bitter smile on his face.
"But I won't live forever" Agrabah's leader concluded.
Jafar took his time to enjoy the sight of an angry and embarassed princess Jasmine trying to escape the advances of the foolish man who called himself a prince.
The vizier knew that princess Jasmine had never needed to move a finger in order to gain her power, nevertheless he couldn't bring himself to hate her. She was intelligent and toughtful. She was brave and always ready to help everyone in need. They used to be very close, but her sympathy towards him had significantly decreased since he started his secret quest for power. It felt as if she knew his intentions, his specific aims.
She now looked at him with a note of fear and disgust.
It was not like he could blame her, he looked at himself in the same way.
The disgust he felt for himself and for the situation he was trapped in prevailed in his mind that night.
He often considered the opportunity to walk away from everything...but he had climbed too high, and it was too late to give in at that point.
He had to reach the far end. He had to gain the highest power, or else his whole life would have gone wasted.
No one could do it better than him. Agrabah simply couldn't ask for any better.
His convinction grew bigger anytime he watched the trash prince open his dumb mouth.
A couple hours went by.
The vizier passed the whole dinner nervously playing around with his fork, without touching any food.
The concerned glances of the Sultan went almost unnoticed.
"You never eat, Jafar" the Sultan said lightly.
Jafar nodded, but his stomach was locked. He couldn't wait to go back to his chambers.
Around the end of the evening, prince Naji's guards improvised what seemed to be a little show, and Jafar decided that he couldn't take it anymore.
With the Sultan's permission he headed over towards his room, making his way through the crowded chamber.
As soon as he passed the main chamber's door, hidden from the guests eyes, Jafar stopped walking gracefully and he quickly ran up the staircase which led to his room, two steps at a time.
Once he got at the top he halted, out of breath, and he looked at the corridor ahead of him.
"You're getting old, Jafar"
The vizier's eyes widened, and he slowly turned around to see Hakim one flight of stairs above him, laughing quietly.
The younger man let go a sigh of relief.
"Don't you dare laugh! You scared me" Jafar said, acting offended.
"Don't play hurt with me" Hakim promptly responded, moving closer to the vizier and sitting on the stairs.
Jafar slowly sat on the step next to him, still trying to catch his breath.
They just sat there for a while, enjoying the corridor's peace and quiet.
Everyone was at the feast downstairs.
It was very late at night, and in the corridor ahead of them the only source of light was represented by the lanterns pinned on the wall, whose dim light made their shadows converge on the floor.
The moon was still covered by a cloudy sky, which seemed to announce the arrival of a huge storm.
There was a comfortable silence between the two men. They sat next to each other, distractly looking at lightnings in the distance through the arches in the corridor's wall.
The vizier could barely keep his eyes open, but he didn't want to rest.
The dark circles around his eyes were the proof of his tiredness.
"You should get some sleep"
Hakim said all of a sudden. "You look exhausted".
Jafar looked at him with a fake questioning look, ready to step into the role of the emotionless vizier which was never tired.
He wanted to reassure Hakim, he wanted to claim that he had things entirely under his control, but words wouldn't come out.
He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it immediately.
Why would he lie to one of the only people that he had ever loved? Jafar knew he could trust him.
But he also knew that he didn't deserve Hakim's frienship and concern.
"I am... very tired". The words just flew from the vizier.
It was barely a whisper, but Hakim had heared it. Jafar appeared caught off guard, as he rested his chin on his upraised hands, lost in thought.
Hakim knew that insisting on getting him to talk was counterproductive, so he just looked at him, waiting.
Jafar looked back at the guard, unsure of what to do.
"Nightmares keep me awake at night". The vizier explained, looking at Hakim with accusing eyes, almost challenging him to start making fun of his confession.
As childish as it sounded, Jafar spoke the truth.
Nightmares wouldn't let him sleep.
He was terrified at the thought of resting, because he knew they would come and haunt him.
The harrowing screams of pain coming from the adjacent cells, the smell of blood, the physical pain, the open wounds, the hopelessness...
Jafar would wake up in the middle of the night frozen in fear, and he would lay in bed until the early hours of the morning trying to separate reality from immagination.
"Promise me, next time, you will look for me. We will sort things out together" Hakim said with a severe tone, looking at Jafar straight in the eyes.
The vizier shifted his gaze on his hands, embarassed for his weakness.
He felt like a coward. How did he intend to rule Agrabah? He was pitiful and pathetic.
Most importantly, he didn't want to look weak in front of Hakim.
"I am not a coward" Jafar spit out with a hint of resentment.
"That thought never even crossed my mind" the guard replied.
Jafar never doubted that Hakim was being sincere.
"Okay" cut short the vizier.
Jafar knew that Hakim was a man of few words, and to be honest he appreciated this side of his personality.
Silence fell over them for a little while, and Jafar closed his eyes, leaning on the wall behind him.
"By the way" the vizier suddenly said, lightly grabbing the guard's arm "thank you Hakim".
Hakim just wrapped one arm around him, and the younger man rested his head on the guard's shoulder, trying his best to ignore his own foolish pride, at least for that one night.