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2019-08-05
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Unspoken Things

Summary:

“For I am in love with you, and this is what it is like, or what it is like in words.” – Carol Ann Duffy 

Ferdinand assures Hubert that he doesn't need to hear 'I love you.'

SPOILERS for Edelgard's route.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

In the years after the war, their professional lives were both very busy, and they didn't often have a lot of time to spend together. Ferdinand had to be content with knowing looks at council meetings, brief exchanges in the corridors, and perfectly prepared tea with his favourite blend waiting in Ferdinand's rooms at the end of a bad day.

And to his surprise, Ferdinand was content. He'd never expected to be sharing his life with Hubert of all people, but… now he couldn't imagine things any other way.

The best days, of course, were those when neither of them had other duties, and they were able to find time to spend together. After much experimentation, Ferdinand had even found a variety of tea that Hubert enjoyed, since coffee was not a suitable drink to have late at night. Hubert protested, but Ferdinand by now knew very well that tiny quirk of his lips where a smile was being suppressed.

As soon as Hubert entered, Ferdinand also recognised that particular furrow of his brow as meaning he was in a especially bad mood. Still, Hubert relaxed when he saw the tea already waiting for them on the table.

He chuckled. "I do not know how you always seem to know when I will be free."

"You are not the only one with spies in the palace, you know," Ferdinand said jokingly. Actually, he just asked Byleth.

Instead of sighing at the joke, Hubert sat down heavily with a pronounced scowl. "Don't talk to me about spies. I am tired of their incompetence."

Ferdinand raised his eyebrows, but it seemed as though Hubert did not wish to discuss the matter further, as he immediately followed his comment up with a question about Ferdinand's day. He need not press the matter, anyway—Hubert had a way of, dare he say it, brooding on topics, so it was certain to come up again.

"I don't know how Caspar, of all people, came to recommend this lady to me—"

"She attempted to flirt with him and he misinterpreted," Hubert said. "But to our advantage, as it happens. I don't know what sort of 'accounts' she was really trying to talk about and I'm not sure I want to."

Ferdinand laughed. "I'm not sure why you ask me these things. You already know all about them!"

"Yes, but I like to hear you tell them." Hubert took a sip of his tea. "It was rude of me to interrupt. I was just thinking of one of my deputies tell me about the young lady's misadventure with flirting today, something that happened hundreds of miles away, yet they're incapable of noticing obvious things right here in the palace."

"Oh?"

"I overheard one of my spies telling the others, I quote, 'Do you know, I think the Duke might be trying to court the Prime Minister'—" Hubert pinched the bridge of his nose. "And the others laughed."

Ferdinand was not sure of the appropriate response. They had never been obvious about their relationship; Hubert was a rather private person, and Ferdinand knew it would cause him embarrassment if his private life was gossiped about. "That was, uh, cruel of them to mock their colleague's input in such a way, but..."

Hubert shook his head. "Don't think to make excuses for that gentleman; he is the one I have prepare your tea in the evenings—" His eyes flickered briefly way, though Ferdinand could not guess why he might be feeling guilty. "Only when I cannot do it myself, of course."

Ferdinand's whole body felt lighter and he grinned. "I had never considered you would make time for such a detail yourself!"

"Important matters require a personal touch," Hubert said, as though it were obvious.

His gaze met Ferdinand's and his expression softened. Ferdinand reached out across the table to take his hand. For a moment, it was just the two of them in the whole world.

Alas, Hubert remembered his troubles again after but a moment. He grimaced. "That is why it is simply inexcusable for him, above all the others, to be so dense."

No matter how he replayed their conversation over in his head, Ferdinand could not make heads or tails of Hubert's complaint. "I am not sure I follow?"

"Well, what sort of spies are they if they cannot even discern that I'm in love with you?" Hubert muttered darkly into his cup.

There was a loud ding of china as Ferdinand nearly dropped his own cup and had to set it down rather abruptly.

This did not go unnoticed by Hubert. He stiffened up and retreated, sitting back further in the chair. Hubert was so rarely completely open, and now Ferdinand had ruined the moment. In… some fashion.

He paused, observing, but as ever Hubert gave little away. "I am sorry if I've offended you," Ferdinand said, cautiously. "I was only… a little surprised to hear you say it aloud."

Hubert, if anything, withdrew further—in small shifts of posture, folding in on himself, things it had taken Ferdinand years to learn. He watched the steam rise from his cup, feeling a little defeated. They so rarely had the chance to merely sit and enjoy each other's company like this. Ferdinand took a sip from his cup, but the tea now tasted too bitter.

"Is that really what you think of me?" Hubert said quietly, breaking the silence. "Is that what I am?"

Ferdinand frowned. "What?"

"You go on as though you expect to spend your whole life with me, but you really never expected me to say a simple, 'I love you?' Am I so undeserving of you?" His lips curled. "And you have never complained."

"What—?" Oh dear. It was not Ferdinand that Hubert was angry with, but himself. Even worse! "Hubert, no—"

"If I have been so poor a partner to you, I will endeavour to correct—"

He did not get any further. Ferdinand leapt up from his seat and leant over the table, putting a finger to Hubert's lips to silence him. "There is nothing to correct."

Hubert went cross-eyed for a moment giving the finger on his lips a disgruntled look, and Ferdinand had to bite back a smile.

"Your reserved nature has never been a secret to me," Ferdinand said. When he saw he had Hubert's attention, he felt it safe to sit back in his chair. "Of course it is pleasant to hear sweet things whispered from a lover, but… it is not the only way of demonstrating one's care."

Hubert put a hand to his chin, a habit of his when he was in thought. "What do you mean?"

"I mean… Tea in the evenings, always knowing when I am in need of comfort. That small smile you have whenever we see each other in the day. You are here, now, with me..."

Ferdinand spread his hands. He couldn't think of a possible way to put it all into words, but Hubert's expression had softened again, so perhaps he had understood.

"Do you see?" he said, speaking more gently. "I have never doubted your affections."

"If you insist." Hubert shook his head. "You're far too forgiving of my shortcomings."

"But I do not consider them shortcomings at all!" Ferdinand said. "Without them, you would not be Hubert."

"And without your ludicrous optimism, I suppose you would not be Ferd." He let out a muted sigh, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "That would certainly be dull. I couldn't be having that."

"I shall endeavour to remain ludicrous, then!"

To Ferdinand's delight, this startled a rare laugh out of Hubert. "You impossible man," he said fondly. "See that you do."

Notes:

I... I fell in love with them from their A+ support and haven't looked back since ;-; I hope this does them some justice. All comments welcome!