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The first time, she ordered a strawberry sundae.
Robin wasn’t actually supposed to be serving her. It was the dingus’ shift and she’d actually enjoyed watching him trying to hit on girls or even be suave in that ridiculous outfit (not to mention getting a good eyeful of the finer female specimen herself), but at some point he called her to the front and asked if she could take the next one.
“Why?” she asked. Harrington looked at her with pleading eyes, looking rather uncomfortable. “Look, if you take the next one, I’ll do a double shift afterwards. No complaints.”
Well, that was certainly an interesting proposition. If it meant another two hours of watching Captain Hopeless trying to land a date with ridiculously cute girls she didn’t really consider herself in a position to refuse, but that didn’t make her any less curious. “So what’s the deal here, dingus? Got on somebody’s bad side, or…?”
“Well, no, but…” He sniffed and cast a quick glance over his shoulder. “Alright, she’s my ex, okay?”
“Oh, is that it.” Robin lowered her eyebrows. “And here was me expecting an easy day. I suppose she’s the first of like what, fifty?”
“Ha-ha, really funny. Look, it’s just this one time, alright?”
“Yeah, I got you, Heartbreaker. But I’m taking you up on that promise,” she said as she took the scoop from her belt. Harrington muttered something which sounded like a brief thank you before disappearing to the back and leaving her alone at the counter. She rolled her eyes and turned towards the customer. “Hey there, what can I get you?”
The words didn’t even come through to her. Well, at least half of them did, but that was because she was busy being too fascinated by the cute brunette in front of her. God, if you would look at those eyes, and those perfect shapes her delicate peachy lips would curl into as she ordered a —
“—rry sundae, please.”
“What?” Robin quickly blinked and shook her head. “Sorry, I must’ve been dozing off again,”
“That’s okay,” the brunette smiled, “I’d like a strawberry sundae, please.”
Robin nodded and headed over to the freezer to grab a glass and a few scoops of strawberry ice cream. While she prepared the order, she made sure to give herself a firm mental kick. Damn it, dingus, get a hold if yourself. What if she noticed you stared at her?
Well, she probably already had. She just couldn’t help herself. Sometimes her body would just go out of control and do things she didn’t even want to do and make her head all fuzzy and give her a sore throat but God forbade she did, because what if they found out? What if Harrington found out?
“Jesus, cut it out,” she muttered to herself as she walked back to the counter. “You’re supposed to be the cool one around here.”
“There you go, one strawberry sundae,”
“Thanks,” the brunette said with another one of those irresistible smiles and as she reached in her purse, Robin made sure to give her left arm a good pinch. “You know, I don’t blame you for dozing off, I mean, I’m sure it’s a real drag,”
“Yeah, it’s not the most exciting job in the world, but as long as it helps me through the summer —”
The brunette chuckled. Robin felt her head go cold. She hadn’t been staring again, had she? Had she? “Suppose that’s fair. And how’s Steve doing, by the way?”
“Aside from being useless most of the time?”
Now they both laughed. Heck, if she didn’t manage to cool off sometime soon, she probably would have to head back to jump in the freezer for half an hour or so.
“Yeah, that sums it up about perfectly, I guess. Anywho, I probably should go down this before it melts.”
“Sure, uh, enjoy.” The question was already on her lips before she even had the chance to rethink it. Just as the girl was turning away, Robin asked: “Hey, uh, I’m sure I’ve seen your face before, but I can’t really remember your name, so —”
Somewhere in her head all bells suddenly started to ring: Code red! Code red! What the hell, dingus, did you really have to do that? Couldn’t you think twice before embarrassing yourself again?
“Oh, Nancy Wheeler.”
Robin swallowed. “Nancy Wheeler. Okay, uh, cool.”
Nancy gave her a last smile before finally disappearing into the regular mall crowd. Robin allowed herself to breathe again at last, exhaling deeply. It was almost as if her head was filled with a bloated, hot balloon and it was now spilling its burning contents into her stomach. She felt confused, overwhelmed at the very least. She’d swear she’d never felt this way ever since Tammy Thompson all the way back in high school, but surely this was different… right? She couldn’t possibly be falling for Steve Harrington’s ex?
Speaking of which, he seemed equally surprised when he popped his head out of the door again to ask if Nancy was gone. He frowned at first, then asked: “Hey, Robin, are you blushing?”
“I’m not,” she muttered, making sure not to look him in the eye as she brushed past him. “And you better get to work, dingus. Last time I checked, you were about to serve a double shift.”
The second time, she ordered a strawberry milkshake.
That was the time Robin realized she was actually crushing on Nancy Wheeler, like, real hard. And she hated herself for it, because she knew it would eventually result in disappointment. It always did. That was the price she paid for being different; she could never allow herself to show the amount of affection she wanted to, never flirt without the risk of her body betraying her. She had found ways to cope with it, for sure, though it still hurt to sometimes see the couples walking in holding hands or feeding each other ice cream, knowing that the chance of her experiencing the same was close to virtually non-existent. Not to mention there were still girls out there who where capable of piercing through her mental wall.
Girls like Nancy Wheeler, for example.
Robin found herself actually looking forward to the moment Harrington called her to the front during his shift again. This time she didn’t even allow him to finish and make his proposal; she took her scoop, piping up “Sure!” as he stared at her, dumbfounded. “Robin, are you sure you’re ok —“
“Yes, dingus, now scoot, please? You’re scaring away my customer.”
She didn’t offer him a chance to reply, shoving him into the back office before turning to the counter. She was just in time to see Nancy arrive, sporting a colorful dress. There was a certain formality to it but she looked stunning nevertheless. Enough to make Robin’s heart do a double backflip, at least.
Stop it!
“Hey Robin!” she greeted.
“You seem in good spirits,” Robin replied, making sure to sound casual. Or at least a little bit interested. “Don’t tell me you won the lottery or something?”
“I wish,” she smiled. “No, but chances are pretty solid I’m getting a job soon. Isn’t that amazing?”
“Yeah, that’s great!” Robin answered, maybe a little too excitedly. But if there was the possibility she was going to work at Starcourt Mall, there was the chance they could carpool, or at least see each other more often… the thought alone made her feel a little dizzy. “So uh, around here, or —”
“Sort of. I’m going to apply at the Hawkins Post, you know, that local newspaper.”
“Oh, right. Part-time?”
“Most likely, yeah. Anyways, I’d just like a strawberry milkshake, please. I’m already running a little late and I don’t want to make bad first impressions, so…”
“Oh, yeah, sure, no problem.” Robin went to work and made sure she speeded things up, though this was another problem in itself, because she absolutely sucked at working quickly. She tended to get clumsy and mess things up, especially now that here hands were shaking like hell, but fuck, she couldn’t. Not now. Not with Nancy looking.
Somehow she managed to make at least a half decent milkshake, though Nancy didn’t seem to take notice, mostly because she was rushing to grab some money from her purse. “Here, keep the change,” she muttered before throwing the cash on the counter, snatching the milkshake and taking off with her dress fluttering behind her.
She didn’t move until Harrington peeked around the corner. “Hey, were you staring at her?”
“Should lay off whatever you’re using back there, dingus. You’re starting to hallucinate stuff.” she merely remarked.
The third time, she ordered a big bowl of frozen strawberry yoghurt.
That was when she broke Robin’s heart. She would’ve said rather unexpectedly, but would that be true; was it ever unexpected? She didn’t think so. She could fool herself all she wanted, but the painful truth never needed more than a couple of words.
By now, she had grown pretty crazy over the Wheeler girl, spending entire nights just lying on her bed and staring up to the ceiling, picturing her beautiful, delicate face in the cracks that ran through the plaster. Uptown Girl had become pretty much her own personal anthem; she loved to listen to it for hours while imagining them in one of those corny teen movie scenes sitting on her bed and sucking each other’s faces off. That, of course, was pathetic, desperate at its very least, but she didn’t care. Such things never mattered when you were in love.
She had also carefully inquired about all sorts of personal interests and stuff whenever she could find the dingus available, and he was actually pretty comfortable telling her everything he knew. Sure, she always made sure to mask it and tried not to be too obvious, but she was still a girl asking about another girl to a boy and she was pretty sure he started to get suspicious at some point, but he never seemed too bothered about it as well, so she didn’t think there was reason to worry. Maybe there was also the possibility of her ever opening up to him about her secret, but that was something to think about for another time.
The next time Nancy visited Scoops Ahoy, she was visibly excited and even wanted Robin to sit with her. Robin was pretty convinced she was in heaven by then. And the best thing was that she even managed not to make a fool of herself — until Nancy’s new job got brought up, that was.
It was pretty clear this subject was all Nancy had been wanting to talk about; she told her all the details, occasionally stopping to gulp down a chunk of frozen sweetness. Robin just listened, nodding when she was expected to and not saying much. Heck, she’d be pretty comfortable sitting there the entire afternoon if she had to.
Then, at some point, Nancy said this: “But hey, I guess the best thing about it all is that I get to work with Jonathan. You know, I think he was pretty solid to begin with, but for me it was still going to be a bit of a close call —”
“Wait a sec, who?” Robin asked, sounding alarmed. She had been in a pretty numbing warm daze until then, but all of a sudden it was as if someone had tied her insides into a tight knot. Doesn’t mean anything, she tried to tell herself, it could just as well be her brother, or some guy she likes to hang with…
“Oh, my boyfriend? Didn’t I already tell you about him?”
“N-no, I don’t think you did…” she responded, suddenly seeming to choke in the thick lump that was beginning to form in her throat. She had experienced it before, of course, the disappointment and the pain you couldn’t cure, but she just couldn’t get used to the feeling of having all your hopes and dreams shattering around you. All of a sudden she was pretty sure she was going to cry, like hell, but she didn’t allow herself to. She kept swallowing her tears until her eyes burned and her throat hurt and she wanted to run away, to punch the table until her knuckles hurt and most of all she wanted to scream, scream at Nancy for hurting her, for being straight and being so damn beautiful, oh yes, she wanted to that and so much more, but she didn’t.
Because she couldn’t. And she didn’t want to embarrass herself.
She waited for Nancy to finish (even reassuring her that she was totally fine when she remarked that her face had gone rather pale), agonizing and painful as it was, then stormed back to the back office where Harrington was opening a couple of boxes. She went straight for her stuff, ignoring him when he asked what happened or if she was okay. When he reached out and tried to grab her arm, she turned and screamed “LEAVE ME ALONE!” at him, leaving him more shocked than he initially was. She didn’t care. Maybe she’d explain if she ever returned, but for now she just wanted back to the safety of her room.
When she got home, she cried into her pillow for a long, long time before she fell asleep.
The fourth time, she ordered chocolate with strawberry topping.
And if you had told her this in advance, Robin would’ve probably thought it was ridiculous, but that was the time she comforted Nancy Wheeler.
She had returned to work at Scoops Ahoy — not that she had a choice — and ladies and gentlemen, you better believe it, she had opened up to Harrington. About her sexuality, her feelings and pretty much everything else which had been bugging her for the past couple of weeks. He was actually pretty cool about it — didn’t go crazy about the fact she wasn’t into guys, didn’t blame her for crushing on his ex, listened like no one else had done, not even her parents. After all, she concluded, she might’ve been wrong about him. Then again, she seemed to be wrong about a lot of things lately, didn’t she?
“I guess that leaves us both with empty hands,” he quipped as they leaned back against the freezers in the back office.
“I suppose so,” she mumbled, and shook her head. “It’s stupid. I didn’t choose for this, right? I never do, but somehow I always end up having screwed myself over even more than the last time.” She sighed. “I just want it to stop. Sometimes… well, sometimes I just wonder how easier things would be if I liked guys, like everyone else.”
“No, that’s bullshit,” Steve said. “I know it’s not the same, but I felt like shit too after Nancy and I broke up. I was angry, mostly, and jealous as well, because I couldn’t cope with the thought that there was someone out there who was somehow better than me. For her, at least. And this is probably going to sound really pathetic, but it did a serious number on my self-esteem. Took me a whole month before I could finally bring myself to look a girl into the eyes again.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t really sound like you, Steve “The King”.”
He shrugged. “Don’t need you to believe me, I’m just saying it how it is. Love is a big, complicated mess. And breakups are shit. I guess that’s kinda like what you have to go through with these sort of things.”
“Sure. Every damn time.”
They were silent for a bit before Steve spoke up again: “Well, you know what I think? Maybe you have to search a bit harder for that one special girl than me, or other people, but when you find her, eventually, she’s gonna be the hottest of them all. Like, even hotter than Phoebe Cates.”
“Oh, Jesus,” she chuckled, shaking her head and giving him a playful push. “What?” he asked, throwing his hands up in an innocent expression. “And I bet she’s gonna be an amazing kisser too. Just watch. She’s gonna be all over you,”
“Cut it out, dingus, you’re leaving the customers waiting,” she said, pushing him towards the front. He laughed, clipping the scoop from his belt and swinging it around his finger. And maybe she didn’t want to, but she laughed as well. The hurt and the pain still weren’t completely gone but at least she felt a little better. For now, that was probably the best she could have.
And that was even before the dingus had another surprise in store for her.
When he called her to the front again, he didn’t have another eccentric request, just a simple instruction. He pushed a bowl of chocolate with strawberry topping in her hands and said she ought to bring it to table five. Robin looked over and felt her stomach turning around; sitting at table five was Nancy Wheeler, looking a bit absent, or out of place, at least.
“Are you shitting me, Harrington?” she muttered under her breath. He shook his head. “Just trust me on this one, alright?”
Damn, for all she knew, the dingus could be pulling a prank on her, but then again, she didn’t really know why he would. So she went to Nancy’s table, delivered her order and asked if she needed anything else. That was when Nancy looked up to her with red, puffy eyes and Robin knew that yes, she definitely could use something; a shoulder to cry on, to be exact.
So she sat down and listened. Nancy told her the whole story. How she and Jonathan had broken up, how everything had seemed perfect until it hadn’t. The thing that had scared her the most was not how quickly it had happened, but rather how easy it all had gone, to the extent that she was beginning to doubt her initial feelings for him, as if nothing had been really there all along.
Robin didn’t try to take advantage of the situation. She didn’t play on her confusion, didn’t push her doubts or somehow tried to convince her she had been wrong all along. Even with her own feelings turning her guts inside out, she knew this is what they both needed right now, nothing more, nothing less.
And Nancy seemed to appreciate it. She surprised the sailor by taking her into a deep hug. Robin’s eyes widened and her heart throbbed wildly under the feelings of her long, strong arms wrapped around her or the warmth of her body against her own, but she hugged back nonetheless, making sure to cast the dingus a grateful glance as he looked on from behind the counter, a small, knowing grin on his face.
“Thank you,” Nancy said, “for understanding.”
The fifth time, they shared a big bowl of strawberry ice cream.
That was the time they had their sixth sleepover. Ever since their heart to heart after Nancy’s breakup, they had become close friends, to the extent where Nancy started to invite her over for movie nights, which naturally turned into full sleepovers. Robin didn’t complain. Her affectionate feelings had died down more or less, and she thoroughly enjoyed impressing Nancy with all her geeky movie knowledge (though truth be told; Steve was still their favorite subject matter), but she still felt a distant, although present longing for their relationship to be more than just that.
And this feeling hadn’t been so strong until that one night. Nancy’s parents were out for the night along with her little sister, and her brother Mike was staying at his friends, so they would be completely alone; a thought which, to be frank, scared her at first, but she decided not to think about any hidden meanings. After all, it was equally exciting as well, and she’d been looking forward to watching Sixteen Candles together (she didn’t really like sappy teen dramas but with Nancy she somehow managed to tolerate them).
They had a great time, not that she was expecting anything else. They ate pizza in front of the tv, played checkers on the floor and spent hours talking about Steve on Nancy’s bed — Robin usually liked these conversations because Steve alone was a subject they could talk hours about without ever drifting off to the more general topic of boys or love interests. So she felt at least a little caught by surprise when Nancy suddenly piped up: “So, have you been seeing anyone lately?”
“Who, me?” Robin asked anxiously, biting into a scoop from the big bowl of strawberry ice cream that sat between them. “Uh, no, not really.”
“I guess I haven’t really been thinking about it ever since I broke up with Jonathan, you know, but I’ve been sort of… I’ve been sort of getting this strange feeling lately. It probably sounds a little crazy, but I feel like it’s kinda of feeling I was supposed to have when I was with him.” She took a quick lick from her spoon full of ice cream, looking up to the blonde with a bit of uncertainty in her eyes. “If that makes sense?”
“You mean… crushing on someone?” Robin asked. Part of her didn’t feel like inquiring further, partly because she didn’t want another disappointment, but she also felt like she would be more resistant to it this time around. Even though the brunette still looked extremely cute in her pajamas and she had felt the regular urge to be as close as her to possible, to lay a hand on her leg and all types of stuff which probably would sound very kinky if she said them out loud —
Jeez, stop it.
“Yeah, I guess. And you know, it’s been kind of bugging me, since even though I don’t even know if they feel the same way, this person has always been there for me, never let me down, always was on the place I needed her to be… and it sucks because I don’t feel like I’ve ever done something back for her.”
Robin swallowed. She had noticed the use of a pronoun and frankly, she wanted to believe Nancy had misspoken, though she knew she hadn’t. All of a sudden her throat was as dry as bone and she raspy answered: “I-is that so?”
“Yeah.” Nancy looked up to her. “Hey, you have a bit of ice cream on your cheek — let me just…”
She reached out and as soon as her finger touched her skin, Robin shuddered. She didn’t want to, but she did. It was as if her whole body had gone limp and her only functioning organ was her heart which seemed about ready to jump out of her chest. Nancy brushed the ice cream away, ever so smoothly, then seemed to think for a moment before bringing her finger up to Robin’s lips. She started to feel dizzy. Her mind was protesting, but she opened her mouth nonetheless, sucking the ice cream off her finger, sliding her tongue against the delicate skin.
Nancy smiled. “Well, seems like she might not feel so different, after all.”
And then Robin started to lose her sense of time — things might’ve gone either awfully slowly or incredibly fast, she didn’t know, and she didn’t really care, either. Nancy shoved the bucket out of the way and leaned over to her, grabbing her arms, slowly pushing her down onto her back before she was hovering over her. Robin was vaguely aware of the sensations suddenly surrounding her all at once; the pressure of Nancy’s hips against her own, her hair brushing against her cheeks, the warmth of her breath against her skin. Strawberry ice cream.
“You know,” she muttered, her breath so deep it was arguably not more than a whisper, “This is probably and odd question, but I was sort of wondering…”
“Yes?” Nancy asked, offering her that damning, comforting smile.
“Well… why the strawberries? You order them, like, all the time.”
“And you still haven’t figured out?”
“No, that’s why I’m —”
And before she could finish her answer, there was it: those sweet peachy lips against her own, her tongue forcing its way into her mouth. Robin groaned and shifted under her weight, the feeling of their hips brushing against each other sending little electric shocks through her body. Nancy broke the kiss and pushed herself up briefly to look at her again, and the sight of her cheeky grin and her rosy cheeks was easily the most beautiful thing Robin had ever seen.
“It’s ‘cause I like the color of your lips, sailor girl,” she said, before leaning down and resuming the kiss.
Awesome, Robin thought.