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English
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2019-08-08
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1/1
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The 2 AM Gay Panic™

Summary:

It’s the middle of the night, and April thinks Karai might have turned her gay.

Notes:

I'm really sorry for this. This was taking way too long, and I was getting sick of looking at it, so I rushed the ending and didn't reread it to check for mistakes. I have no idea why I wrote it, but here it is. Sorry.

Work Text:

April wanted nothing more than to just sink into her bed and sleep for a year. Unfortunately, she couldn’t actually do that. She had to stay in the lair. On one hand, she understood that it was for her safety, but on the other hand, she didn’t think she’d survive very long down in the sewers. April was already sore and miserable from getting beaten up by Karai earlier. She felt a little better when she was able to impress the guys with her story, but that didn’t change the fact that she wanted to collapse into her bed and forget everything that happened. Her life was just getting too wild. How did a walk with her dad turn into this?

April rolled over in her bed, scratch that, Donnie’s bed. He had offered it to her since he usually fell asleep in his lab. Of course, his brothers had jumped on the opportunity to tease him about it. Him and April. She agreed so quickly mainly to get the attention off themselves and change the subject. She hoped she’d only be staying for awhile. She didn’t know how long she could take being cooped up with four rowdy teenagers.

With a sigh, she grabbed her T-Phone to check the time. 2:37. Great. Usually when she was trying to fall asleep, she’d remember every single embarrassing thing she ever did, like how she made a fool of herself in front of Karai. Wait, what? Did she really just think that? Karai tried to kidnap her, yet here she was worrying about how she acted in front of the kunoichi. The admittedly very pretty kunoichi. Oh no.

April bolted upright with a racing heart. She did not just think that. Right? Why did she care how she looked in front of Karai? Karai was out to get her and probably was still after her at the moment. If April was going to lose sleep over her, it should be because she was scared for her life, not because she looked lame in front of an attractive girl. No, no, no!

Without a second thought (Because who knew where those thoughts would lead?), she hopped out of bed and rushed to the lab. The light was still on, but she could hear the telltale whistle of Donnie sleeping. She quietly crept inside and glanced around. Sure enough, he was slumped at his desk and very asleep. April walked over to him guiltily. She felt a little bad about waking him up, but she didn’t know what to do. She was having a crisis.

“Donnie?” she whispered as she shook his shoulder. He mumbled something incoherent before burying his face in his arms.

“Hey, Donnie, wake up.” April nudged him a little harder, and he woke up with a loud snort, tumbling out of his chair. He was quick to scramble back up and look around the lab before his eyes settled on April nervously standing by his desk.

“Oh, uh...hey, April. Hi. Um, what’s up?” he smiled, inwardly screaming at how he just fell out of his chair in front of her, “I mean, what brings you here?” Smooth.

“Sorry, I just couldn’t sleep, and then I started thinking, and then I kinda maybe accidentally realized Karai’s kinda pretty, and now I’m having a small crisis,” she blurted out. It took Donnie a few seconds to process her outburst before his eyes seemed to pop out of his head.

“Wait, what?! Karai? Like the I-tried-to-get-you-to-eat-turtle-and-kidnap-you Karai? That Karai?” he gasped. April stared at him nervously, chewing on her lip and watching his reaction.

“Yes?” she answered. He gaped at her, and she found herself wishing she just stayed in his room and moped with her odd thoughts. She hopped onto the desk and started swinging her feet. A few moments passed, and Donnie was still staring at her in silence.

“Donnie, say something,” she pleaded. He snapped his mouth shut and slumped back into his chair.

“I just...wow. I didn’t know you liked girls...or evil girls for that matter.” At that, April jumped to her feet and frantically waved her arms at him.

“I don’t like girls,” she hissed as loud as she dared. Donnie shrunk back from her outburst and tried to save himself.

“It’s okay if yo‒,” he began, but he was cut off when April covered his mouth with her hand.

“I swear I’m 100% straight. I don’t even know why I like Karai, and I don’t like her. I just thought she was pretty, which she is, but I don’t like her, and I’m totally straight,” she assured him. “Okay?” She removed her hand, and Donnie stared at her silently for a few seconds.

“Okay...and it’s perfectly fine if you’re not straight too,” Donnie said. With a groan, April started pacing.

“This isn’t about if I’m straight or not. This is about me having weird thoughts that Karai is good look‒,” April cut herself off and froze. She slowly turned around to face Donnie with wide eyes. “Oh, no. I totally don’t like her, right? Oh my god, what if I’m not straight? Donnie?” April’s hand tangled in her hair and she felt about two seconds away from freaking out. Donnie nervously slid next to her and patted her on the back.

“April, it’s totally fine. I know no one here will judge you i‒,” he started.

“I can be straight and think she’s super pretty, right?” April interjected. Donnie sighed and shrugged.

“I don’t know, I‒”

“What do I do? What am I doing? What’s even going on?”

“April, just calm down. I’m sure we ca‒”

“How can I be calm? Some girl tried to kidnap me, and I still think she’s pretty. And she is still really pretty, y’know?” April started pacing again, and Donnie cautiously grabbed her shoulder. Once she paused, he led her to his chair and made her sit down.

“Okay, please don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re sounding a lot like Leo right now,” he admitted. April’s face fell and she hid her head in her hands.

“I do ,” she groaned. She pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them.

“Sorry,” Donnie apologized. “I mean, if both you and Leo find her attractive, then she’s probably pretty good looking.” That only made April hug her legs tighter and thump her head against the back of the chair.

“It’s just so unfair. Why are bad people so pretty? I don’t like it,” April whined, slouching down in her seat. She glanced up at Donnie, and he shrugged back at her.

“Both good and bad people can be good looking,” he mumbled. April sent a glare his way before going back to moping.

“But I kicked her in the face, and she still looked really good,” she mumbled. “Why couldn’t I look that good when she beat me up?” 

“I’m sure you looked great,” Donnie sighed.

“And when she took off her helmet, her hair was still perfect! How did she do that? Why is she so pretty?” she asked.

“I don’t know, April. I really don’t know. Just because you think someone’s pretty, doesn’t mean you really like them, right? You barely know her, and hopefully, you’ll never see each other again. I think you’re fine. It’s totally normal to think others are good looking.”

“You’re right. Thanks, Donnie.” April straightened up in the chair right before her face fell. 

“Oh my god. She had to explain to me how a freaking vending machine worked! Why am I so stupid? She probably thinks I’m an idiot.” She covered her face and slid to the ground. With a groan, she leaned against Donnie’s desk. Donne joined her on the floor and racked his brain for a response.

“You’re not an idiot, and she probably doesn’t think you’re one,” he assured her.

“No, I really am. She said something...like ika-taki-something, and I tried to say it back, but I probably just sounded like an idiot. She’s gonna think I’m a stupid weakling. I am a stupid weakling, and now she knows.” Donnie thought for a second before realizing what she said.

“Wait, ‘Itadakimasu?’” he asked.

“Yes, that one!” she groaned, hiding her face in her knees.

“I don’t think she really thought anything besides ‘I found her. Time to kidnap her.’”

“I know she’s bad, Donnie, but she’s gorgeous, and I’m getting a little worried. Like, I made a fool of myself in front of her, and I can’t stop thinking about going out with her. Wait, was that like a date? Did she trick me into a weird date and then try to kidnap me?”

“I really don‒”

“And what would I even say? Hey, sucks that our moms died. Wanna go out?” April glanced over at her friend, and he stared back with his mouth hanging open.

“You’re planning on asking her out?” he asked. April quickly straightened up and shook her head.

“What? Of course not. Hold her hand? Yes. Go out? Heck, no. That would be weird,” she said quickly. “But if I did, do you think she would hypothetically say yes?”

“I really don’t know, April. This is a lot to take in at the middle of the night. I guess if Karai wasn’t evil, I could see it. I mean, you’re sweet, smart, and pretty—not that I think you’re pretty, but you’re not not pretty—and I’m sure lots of guys and girls think you’re great,” Donnie said, putting his hand on her shoulder. “And since Karai’s probably still after all of us, I hope you know that there’s no way I’m gonna let you knock on Shredder’s door and ask her out.”

“Aw, thanks, Donnie. And I know she’s evil. I really hope we never meet again,” she laughed. “But is it weird that I think it would be great to see her again, but from a distance?” At that, Donnie groaned and stood up.

“Okay, you’re my friend, but this is getting out of hand. It’s too late...early...whatever for this, and I’m tired. Karai’s evil and pretty, and everything’s fine. Good night.” With that, Donnie helped April up and ushered her out of the lab. April checked her T-Phone and realized that it was nearly morning. Suddenly sleepy, she headed back to bed. Right before she could fall asleep, a random scene from SpongeBob came to mind.

“Oh no, she’s hot,” she whispered to herself with a laugh before going to sleep.