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Sometimes Josh was harder on himself than necessary. Whether that be when working out, practicing, or boxing, he had days where enough was never enough. And he would come home exhausted. Physically and mentally. He would clam up, take a shower, and go to bed without eating.
And Tyler, being the person that he is, would get worried. When Josh was this quiet, it made the whole apartment seem emptier.
Today, Josh had come home with out even a hello and gone straight to the bedroom. When Tyler opened the door, he was greeted with Josh sitting on the edge of the bed, head down, hair a mess. He hadn’t changed clothes and didn’t smell too great. He looked awful.
“Hey, J.”
Silence. Not even a look.
He walked in and kneeled in front of Josh.
“Don’t want to talk?” He asked, brushing Josh’s hair away from his forehead, taking his head in his palms. Josh leaned in slightly, his eyes fluttering shut with a small whine of relief.
“That’s okay. You don’t have to.” Tyler rubbed his thumbs against the other’s cheeks.
“I’m... sore.” Josh mumbled slowly.
“Okay. That’s okay.” He stood up, still holding his face. “Anything I can do?”
Josh seemed to think, but gave up, having a hard time stringing thoughts and feeling together consecutively.
“You look like you could use a hug.” Tyler said softly. “Is that okay?”
Josh nodded.
Tyler response by straddling Josh’s lap and pulling his head against his chest, arms around his shoulders. Josh sighed, placing his hands on Tyler’s hips.
“Better?”
Josh nodded a yes into Tyler’s shirt.
“Good.” He hummed. “It’s okay to have bad days.” Tyler said. “Just know I’m always here. Always.”
Josh’s hands tightened.
“I know.” His voice was small and cracked, pieces falling away and crumbling against the floor with each syllable. “I just feel... like a bother.”
“Oh, baby.” Tyler cooed, stroking Josh’s hair. “Never. You just need a little pick me up sometimes, that’s all.”
Tyler could feel wet spots forming on his shirt.
“But I-“
“Shh.”
Josh began to cry.
“It’s okay. Let it out. You had a long day.”
He shook as he sobbed, try to muffle the noise against Tyler chest.
“I’m not going anywhere. Let it out. I’m here. You don’t have to listen to your head anymore.” He kissed Josh’s temple. “You’re safe.”
When the sobbing had died down, Josh lifted his head and kissed Tyler like it was the very life force holding him together.
“Thank you.”
“I love you.”
“I love you more.”