Chapter Text
The shower is hot, thank God, but the pressure as usual is awful. Dan’s just glad he doesn’t need to wash his hair today. He stands facing the shower, water cascading down his front. A sigh escapes his lips. He glances down at his hands, they’re still bruised but the cuts are starting to heal. He closes his eyes tight and looks up into the stream of water. He feels good, well as good as things can feel in the situation he’s in. The water begins to get cold and Dan knows that’s his cue to get out. He grabs his towel and wraps it around his waist. His clothes are sat on one of the benches in the middle of the shower room, he pushes past a few guys to get to it. He used to be scared of them when he first got here. Now he doesn’t give a shit.
He gets dressed into his prison issued grey sweatpants and gray crew neck sweater, in few months he’ll get outside clothes privileges but for now this is what he has.
He heads towards the sinks and looks at himself the best he can in the sheet of metal that’s supposed to be a mirror. The bruise on the side of his face is starting to fade and the swelling in his lip has gone down a lot. He hopes he’s starting to look like himself again. He runs his long fingers through his curly hair and then tries to make it look presentable. He doesn’t have much luck, the shampoo they get given isn’t for curly hair and it’s really starting to take a toll.
“You look fine, mate” A voice says from behind him.
Dan turns around to face his friend, Scott, one of the only friends he’s made in the month and a half he’s been here.
“I look like shit” He says, bluntly.
“Why do you suddenly care how you look?” Scott pushes some of Dan’s curls off of his face.
“Got visitation today, mate” Dan says swatting Scott’s hand away.
Scott looks around before he whispers “Oh, the mysterious boyfriend is coming at last”
"Husband" Dan corrects with a smile. Phil’s finally coming to see him.
*
Dan and Scott leave the bathroom when one of the gangs walk in, neither of them want any trouble. They had back to the main social area of their prison block. Dan still has a few hours until visitation starts.
He listens to Scott rambles something about what his daughter has been up to lately. Scott loves to talk about his daughter and how amazing she is and Dan loves to listen. He remembers meeting Scott on his first day.
*
Dan had felt drained, he’d been sitting in processing all day and they were finally taking him into general population. He wasn’t sure if he was scared to be there or if his emotions were still running wild. He was given a short tour before being taken to his cell and that’s where he met Scott.
“Alright, mate?” Scott greeted “I’m Scott Ramos”
“Dan Howell”
“Holy shit” Scott’s eyes widen “I know you! You’re that bloke on youtube. My daughter loves you!”
“I bet she doesn’t anymore”
*
Dan is pulled out of his thoughts and Scott’s story is interrupted when one of the guards beings speaking through a megaphone.
“Inmates, if your name is called line up for visitation” The guard says and then begins to list off names. He calls about 10 people off before… “Inmate 23871, Daniel Howell.” A few more people are listed off and then they’re led out to the visitation room.
The visitation room is small, it’s 1 of the 2 that are used simultaneously. There’s 10 tables set up, each with 1-3 chairs depending on how many visitors someone has. Dan’s eyes scan the room for Phil. He almost misses him at first but with a second glance he spots him. He’s sat with his arms crossed and he’s looking directly at Dan.
Dan wants to run to him, but he knows he’ll get in trouble so he walks cautiously and slowly, he feels tense, he doesn’t know what Phil’s reaction to him is going to be. Phil stands up, arms still crossed for a moment until he’s pulling Dan in for a tight hug. They stand in the embrace until a guard gives them a warning and they both sit down, opposite ends of the table.
“You changed your hair” Dan points out. Phil’s hair isn’t in the emo style it was a few months ago. It’s still black but now he’s sporting a quiff. “It looks good”
“I needed a change” Phil smiles. “Felt like the fringe was starting to hold me back”
“Well, like I said it looks good. How’s the outside world doing?”
“Everything is fine” Phil smiles again but it fades quickly “Actually, no, everything isn’t fine”
Dan hates the tone of Phil’s voice. “What happened?”
“You’re in prison, Dan!” Phil raised his voice slightly and people turn to look. He lowers his voice “Everyone is going crazy about this. It’s all over the news, all over social media. I had to log out of everything ‘cause I can’t answer any of the questions people are asking me. It’s too much.”
Phil closes his eyes tightly. Dan didn’t realise this would be stressful for Phil. It hadn’t occurred to him that Phil would be the one person, other than himself, that the media would want to talk to about this. Suddenly he’s noticing how tired Phil looks.
“I-i’m sorry” Dan doesn’t know what else to say. He feels his brain shutting down, much like it had his first week here. His crime was looming over him again. Everything was his fault. Phil takes Dan’s hand and squeezes it gently.
“It’s okay” he says. Dan knows it’s not. “I just…”
“Phil just tell me, please.”
“Our agent quit and so did the management team. I’m literally on my own.” Phil bites his lip.
“They quit?”
“Yeah” Phil runs his hands through his hair “Sara told me, and I quote, ‘ I don’t get paid enough to deal with shit this bad’ and then she just walked out and later management called and told me they’d cancelled our contract.”
“Fuck” is all Dan can say. He rubs his face with his hands. “We need a plan”
**
Phil’s been alone in the apartment before, but for a few days at most. It’s almost been 2 months and he thinks he might be going crazy, he’s started talking to the plants. He knows he should go outside at some point but he can’t bare the thought of being recognised by someone. He can’t decide if he should try and go about his life as usual, maybe he’ll make a youtube video or… no he can’t do that people will use the comments to ask him more questions he can’t answer. He doesn’t even know what kind of video to make.
He and Dan had tried to come up with a plan and by that he means they sat in silence for 30 minutes just staring at each other. It was nice in a way to be able to just look at Dan but it also made him feel sad. Dan didn’t look great, Phil knew it was probably because he was adjusting, going from there bright, well decorated penthouse to a small prison cell was a big deal, Phil wished he could do something to make it better but, other than going to Prison himself, there wasn’t much he could do.
Phil lays on the sofa, he’s wearing one of Dan’s jumpers and a pair of sweatpants, an episode of Brooklyn Nine Nine is playing on the TV, he’s only half paying attention.
He hears someone unlock the front door and then a voice.
“Phil? Are you home?” It’s Martyn
“Living room” Phil replies.
He looks up to the hallway, Martyn and Cornelia are carrying bags of shopping. For the last month, they’d practically been his only source of human contact. The came over at least once a week with enough food to stock 2 kitchens.
Martyn disappears off into the Kitchen. Cornelia pushes Phil’s legs off the sofa and sits next to him. She tugs at the sleeve of the jumper he’s wearing and laughs.
“Sexual Fantasies” she reads and laughs “Is this Dan’s?”
“It’s comfortable”
“And it reminds you of him. That’s cute.” She takes Phil’s hand and squeezes it gently. “How was he when you went to visit?”
Martyn appears back from the kitchen and sits on the other sofa.
“He’s mad that he has to use regular shampoo and not one specifically for his curls” Phil starts “ and he’s also very annoyed that the agent and management team bailed and oh he made a friend”
“A friend? Like a…” Martyn makes his fingers into quotations as he speaks “Friend?”
“No, not like that! His cellmate, Scott. His daughter’s like a huge fan or something. So now Dan’s friends with him.”
Phil’s phone vibrates on the coffee table. All 3 of them look over at it. When Phil doesn’t answer Martyn picks it up.
“Hi, this is Phil’s Phone” Martyn begins, he’s putting on a posh accent “I’m his agent, how can I help you?”
Cornelia tries not to laugh but Phil stays quiet, the old management team had been forwarding calls from news outlets to Phil’s personal phone and so Martyn had started pretending to be an agent so that Phil didn’t have to deal with things himself. It had been working well, Phil was too anxious to try and get a story together. Martyn always went straight in with a statement on the situation. Phil was so glad he had Martyn and Cornelia in his life. It gave him an idea. He waited for Martyn to hang up the phone.
“I have a proposition for you” He began. “What if we started a management team? You’ve both been so helpful with all of this and I don’t think i can cope on my own”
“We don’t know anything about management” Cornelia sighed
“But you both know how to talk to people without getting scared and besides you didn’t know how to run a merch company either” Phil looks at them with pleading eyes. “I need help the media wants me to talk about what’s going on and I don’t know what to say, you do”
Martyn closes his eyes for a second, he’s thinking about what he wants to say but ultimately he just nods his head. He knows Phil needs help with all of this and he as the big brother it was his duty to lend a hand. Cornelia nods too and for the first time in weeks they both swear they see Phil smile.