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Peter has decided that being awake at 3am is some kind of torture.
The world around him is asleep, so why can't he do it too? Is it his heightened senses holding him back, or is it something more?
Peter can't shake the feeling that something is wrong with him. He should be sleeping. Sleep is needed to... well, survive. Mr. Stark would want him to sleep, but he just can't do it tonight. Something is keeping his mind buzzing with new ideas, his fears and his hopes, and he doesn't like it at such a late hour as this.
He gets up and looks out of his room, making sure that May didn't fall asleep on the couch again. Peter has been worrying about her a lot more lately, she seems to be taking extra shifts and having later nights. He refocuses his mind to where he is going. Peter grabs his suit quickly and pulls it on as fast as he can, almost knocking over a stack of papers on his way out.
He quietly closes the door and walks down the hall, cautious of anyone else who may be awake. It'd be a dead giveaway if people figured out Spider-Man lived in the same apartment complex as Peter Parker. He thinks about this and sighs, just wanting to get over to Stark's place fast.
-
Peter finally makes it to Mr. Stark's bedside at about 4am, with the help of FRIDAY through the dark compound. He looked around for Pepper, but she must be on a business trip again.
"Mr. Stark," Peter whispers, shaking the snoring man, "I- I can't sleep tonight, something's wrong." Peter sighs as he realizes what he's doing. He's being a problem again. Some nights he comes here because of nightmares, but this time it's different and he's not sure what he should say when Tony wakes up.
"Pete? What time is it?" Mr. Stark sits up groggily, and wonders what the hell the kid is doing here at this time in the night. Could it be nightmares again?, he thinks.
"Mr. Stark... I- I can't sleep." Peter says quietly and watches as Tony's expression softens.
"That's ok, kid. I'll go make some hot chocolate so we can both get a little more sleepy, yeah?" Peter silently nods and walks with Mr. Stark into the kitchen, feeling the embarrassment settle on his cheeks because of coming here in the middle of the night for hot chocolate. Tony needs sleep, and Peter knows this. He knows that Tony keeps himself up most nights, waiting for the sun to come up while he's tinkering away. And Peter knows that you need your sleep.
"Mr. Stark, I'm really sorry for coming so late tonight. I know that you need your sleep and I just didn't know who else to talk to because May has been so busy lately that I know she needs time to rest without-" Mr. Stark sets the cup in front of him with a small clunk, making him stop his ranting.
"You don't have to be sorry, Peter. Really..." Mr. Stark yawns and takes a sip from his cup while they sit down on the couch.
"No, you don't understand. I'm a problem, and I'm really sorry for that." He pauses, thinking of the right words to describe what is swirling in his mind these past weeks.
After a few minutes, he finally speaks again, but only softly. "Lately, there's been this numbness that has kind of just... settled in me." Peter whispers the last part and immediately regrets saying anything.
Tony's head snaps up to look at Peter. "Numbness? What numbness?" Jesus Christ. If he would have known that Peter was feeling this bad he would've contacted May or even helped the small boy himself.
"I- I don't know. I'm sorry, I sh-shouldn't have brought it up. It was stupid, I'm sorry." Peter stutters as he backtracks and Tony mentally smacks himself in the face. He was worrying too much. Peter could sense it and the kid didn't want to be a problem again, which made him back up and regret saying anything at all.
"No, Peter, it really is ok. Dealing with something like that..." Tony almost winces at the memories, "well, once you fall down that hole you're bound to hit the bottom sometime... Trust me, it's not fun." Tony tries to empathize with Pete, but from the look on the kid's face, he can tell it's not much help.
Tony sighs. "Look, I'm not good at this kind of thing." He gestures between them. "But we can both get better if you just talk to me."
Peter looks up and Tony notices just how small the boy is against this couch. How is he supposed to know how to talk to a kid? Especially when he's spiraling into depression on top of nightmares and panic attacks.
Please don't turn out like me, Tony thinks as he takes the finished cups of hot chocolate from their hands and sets them on the table.
"I-I'm sorry." Peter's lip quivers and his eyes dart around the carpet. "I'm not good at this either. Talking about my feelings... it really scares me, Tony." Peter's voice cracks and Tony feels his heart break a little, noticing how this was the first time he had ever called him Tony, and the first time he had ever seen someone so broken.
"How about... how about we start with how you were feeling today?" Tony suggests and Peter gives a small nod, breathing out.
"I- I saw her again today. Actually, I see her everyday-"
"Who's this so called 'her'?" Tony interrupts, but he immediately regrets it when he sees the pain in Peter's face. Pete practically flinches as he thinks about everything that happened.
"L-Liz. Liz Allen. She and I... well, we dated for a while, I guess." The room is silent for a little while Peter thinks, and Tony just waits, giving him all the time he needs. He doesn't want him to be even more upset.
"She, um... she broke up with me?" Peter's voice cracks and Tony's heart aches for the kid. Peter's first heartbreak.
"She- She said that I wasn't making enough time for her, that I always disappeared... she thought... she thought I was cheating on her. I would never do that to her, I loved her too much."
As Peter puts the 'ed' on to love, and he realizes that he is telling all of this to Tony Stark. The billionaire sitting next to him didn't need to hear this, he needed to sleep, he had better things to do than listen to Peter's heartaches about his first love.
Though Peter would never confess that the whole two weeks after Liz had broken up with him, he cried himself to sleep each night. He thought that if he couldn't be enough for Liz to stay, how the hell was he supposed to keep everyone else in his life when he was worthless?
His mind goes back to Liz. "You've should've met her, Mr. Stark. She's kind, brave, funny and smart. She- She was the only person I truly trusted other than Ned, and even sometimes I don't tell him things." Peter's face is streaming with tears, and his heart feels like it's being squeezed tightly by just thinking about her. "I miss her so much, Mr. Stark. If I'm not enough for her, how am I supposed to keep everyone else in my life?"
Tony's heart sinks.
"Kid, look at me ok?" Peter looks up, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "You are more than enough. Hell, you're Spider-Man." Pete's eyes glisten and his eyes drift to the window. The sunrise shines through the blinds and bright orange and yellow dance around the floor and walls of the compound. It reminds Peter of Liz, and her dress she wore to their dinner out with May.
Tony snaps Peter out of his memories. "Kid... do you promise me you'll tell me if you ever feel the numbness again?" Tony says softly, trying not to break the moment they're having. God, Tony would have given anything to have memories like these with his own father. But that was years ago, and this is now. Right now, he has Peter. That is all he needs to worry about.
"Ok, I will." He says quietly, quickly wiping a tear from under his eye as he faces Tony again. Peter's tender heart swells and he feels the urge to hug, but would he even like that?
"Mr. Stark? C-Can I give you a hug?" Peter asks, feeling the heat creep up on his neck from embarrassment. Tony reluctantly nods, engulfing the small boy in his arms. Peter seems to fit perfectly, and he could have never asked for a better morning.
"I should go soon." Peter says quietly, still buried in his mentor's chest. Panic reaches his senses as he looks up to see the sun.
"Aunt May is going to kill me."