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Published:
2019-08-12
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2022-06-16
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TIFU by almost killing a girl [19F] who it turns out I'm [31M] accidentally dating and realising that I'm still in love with my ex [27F].

Summary:

Frederick Wentworth reaches out to Reddit for advice

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Kind of a weird situation but I ended up going on vacation with my ex-fiance and a bunch of people. I’ll just explain who’s who because otherwise this is going to get really confusing really fast.

B - my friend who we are staying with.

A - my ex-fiancee. Dumped me 8 years ago because her family kept pressuring her to because they thought I was a loser who’d never get anywhere in life.

M - A’s sister.

C - M’s husband.

L - C’s sister who I’ve been hanging out with recently. A bit of flirting but not looking to date either of them we just enjoy each other’s company. Or so I thought.

---

So we all ended up on vacation together visiting my friend who lives in somewhat of a vacation town. It’s off season so it’s not too crowded or anything. Just a bit of a chill hangout near the beach.

A and B have been spending a bit of time together which... I kind of have mixed feelings about. I’m not worried about anything happening between them or anything - B’s fiancee died recently and he’s incredibly heartbroken and depressed. I’m honestly happy to see him just talking to anyone. A (from what I’ve overheard) seems to be giving him some healthy and practical advice and suggesting him books and stuff. I don’t know why I feel confused about it honestly except that being around A just makes me feel everything from our breakup all over again.

So anyway we all went out for a walk together. There are these narrow steps down near the water and some of us kind of got into this sort of dumb game where L would jump down from the steps and I would “catch” them and kind of break her fall. Anyway L ran up basically to the top and jumped down before I was ready.

It was really fucking scary. She’s in the hospital now and we think she’s going to be okay but ...seeing her on the concrete like that. I thought she was dead for sure. I felt like a murderer. M was screaming hysterically and crying and C basically had to restrain her. I think the rest of us were all just frozen in shock. Except for A.

A was… she was amazing. She just took charge of everyone and told us what to do and who should call who and who should do CPR and she somehow managed to calm everyone down and give us all something to do until help arrived.

But now I’m in real trouble because everyone is treating me like I’m L’s boyfriend. Her family is trying to console me and comfort me and acting like I’m basically a part of their family. And now looking back at some things that L said… I wonder if that’s what she thought?? We never talked like that and I thought we were just kind of casually flirting but with me inviting her on vacation and all of this I realise that… shit she actually thought we were dating which would be hilarious if I hadn’t almost accidentally fucking killed her.

She’s a LOT younger than me and I think I’ve seriously managed to lead her on by accident? She’s just a kid! And now I’m basically being treated like a de-facto son-in-law and I absolutely can’t handle it. If L thought we were dating… SHIT. It’s so awkward especially because I’ve just realised that I’m still in love with A. I know she dumped me and I promised myself I would never ever forgive her for that but when I think about how young we were when we got engaged - about the same age as L is now - and how fucking young L is. I feel terrible saying this about someone who’s in fucking ICU but she’s basically a child and she’s really impulsive and makes dumb decisions about things which is kind of adorable and entertaining usually when it doesn’t endanger her life. She’s a really fun person to hang out with and part of it is because she’s in that “an adult but not actually ready to adult” phase of her life?. But I don’t know. L made a stupid decision to basically jump off a cliff and all I can think is “it’s my fault because I’m an adult and she’s just a fucking kid” and it suddenly seems hypocritical to resent A for listening to the adults in her life when she and I were kids who made a rash and impulsive decision to get married without any jobs or money.

Tl;dr almost killed a girl I’ve been hanging out with and it turns out she (and her entire family) thinks we’re dating and I can’t break up with her because unconscious. Realised I am still in love with my ex and that she might not have been at as much fault for our breakup as I thought.

Chapter 2: TIFU [UPDATE] by almost killing a girl [19F] who it turns out I'm [31M] accidentally dating and realising that I'm still in love with my ex [27F].

Chapter Text

I know it's been a few months but I thought you deserved an update. See my last post for the whole story but tl;dr is my ex broke my heart 8 years ago, ended up in the same social circle recently. There was an accident which was partially my fault and a girl I’d kind of been flirting with was injured and I found out while she was unconscious that she thought things were way more serious than I thought… and with everything that happened I realised that I’m still in love with my ex.

Okay now for the update! 

I’m going to make up names for everyone because I think initials are going to get confusing really fast

“Louisa” is the girl I didn’t realise I was dating. She’s fine, btw. She had a concussion and it was scary for a while there but she’s absolutely fine. She stayed at my friend “Harvey’s” house while she recovered… and apparently got to know my friend “Ben” (who’s been living with Harvey and his wife) really well and they hit it off and are now together? 

Which is a relief as far as I am concerned and I really hope they’re happy together. It’s a bit of a surprise for everyone because Ben has been in such a bad way mental-health wise since his fiance “Fran” died a few months ago. I’m glad - we’re all glad - that he’s showing interest in living his life again. I think Harvey’s taking it a bit harder because Fran was his sister… but nobody wants Ben to go on being miserable forever.

But, shit. I was so wound up about how I was going to break up with this girl who was dying/unconscious and it’s a relief that I don’t have to do that or anything but suddenly I’m just completely overwhelmed by how much I am still completely in love with “Anne”. 

I thought I’d gotten over her. But I hadn’t. I was just still so angry. 

But anyway. I don’t know how foolish this is but I just can’t help thinking… she’s still single. I’m still single. I heard gossip that “Charles” asked her out before he ended up with her sister “Mary” and she turned him down and apparently hasn’t dated anyone since… and I wonder if there’s a chance that she still has feelings for me too? 

Either way, I think I have to find out.

Update to the Update

Comments are split between people telling me to go for it with Anne and people telling me she doesn’t deserve a second chance. And I just kind of want to explain why I want to.

Anne and I were super young when we dated. She was 19 and I was 23. I was interning and barely starting my career so I was dirt poor. Her family thought I was a loser who’d never amount to anything. I proposed - she said yes but then changed her mind after talking to her family. And at the time she told me that it was for me - that if her family cut her off then I’d have to support us both and she didn’t want that. And I don’t think I ever really believed that - I thought they’d just finally convinced her to break it off with me. And at the time I thought the risk was worth it. And maybe it would have been. My career took off pretty well soon after that… but there are no guarantees at all.

Hanging out with “Louisa” really opened my eyes as to how fucking young we were. And honestly I think Anne and I would have been fine - we would have been great - but there are no guarantees. And I still think her family are snobs who just thought they were better than me… but I don’t know if I can still resent Anne for listening to the actual adults in her life, you know?

So yeah. I do want to give her - to give us - another chance if it turns out Anne still feels the same way as me.

Chapter 3: [UPDATE 2] TIFU by almost killing a girl [19F] who it turns out I'm [31M] accidentally dating and realising that I'm still in love with my ex [27F].

Chapter Text

Fuck as many of you pointed out I think I’m too late.

I saw her. For those of you who called me a “creepy stalker” I want to point out that we have a bunch of mutual friends so it’s pretty easy for me to spend more time with her.

So things (understandably) have always just felt super awkward between us since we reconnected and became friendly(ish) again. But more recently things haven’t been as awkward. She’s seemed happy to see me and interested in talking to me… 

But unfortunately I think that’s because she’s seeing someone.

I don’t really know him except my reputation - he’s basically the guy of her family’s dreams. Some political shit in the company her Dad owns for that I don’t really understand but there was some failed merger a while back and this guy apparently had something to do with it and the fact they’re on good terms again is good for Anne’s Dad so I can see why they’re eager to make him part of the family.

And he really seems to like her a lot.

I mean who wouldn’t? She’s incredibly. She’s smart and kind and generous and thoughtful… she’s just a beautiful person inside and out. 

So yeah. I think I missed my window.

I really appreciate everyone in the comments who’s been so kind and supportive. Sorry I don’t have a better update for you.

Chapter 4: [UPDATE 3] TIFU by almost killing a girl [19F] who it turns out I'm [31M] accidentally dating and realising that I'm still in love with my ex [27F].

Chapter Text

Okay I really didn’t think I’d be back again but… well, I am.

I was absolutely certain after my last update that Anne and “William” were dating. But… now I think maybe they aren’t? It’s obvious that her family talks like they are and he obviously is super into her… but now I’m not sure if it’s mutual and I don’t know if I’m just imagining that.

But here’s where it gets tricky and also kind of urgent… I’m supposed to be writing an email right now because Ben has a present he’s trying to organise for Louisa…

But I can hear Harvey and Anne talking RIGHT NOW and I can’t help but hear what they’re saying.

Harvey is talking about how he’s kind of surprised (and upset, I guess) at how quickly Ben has moved on after Fran died. I mean we all wanted him to find joy in life again but Harvey has mixed feelings because he doesn’t think Fran would have gotten over him so quickly if things were reversed.

And Anne is talking about like… being able to love someone forever even though you know you’ll never be with them again and I don’t think she knows I can hear her because they’re on the other side of the room but I know her voice so well. I can’t help it. 

And I’m half agony, half hope.

[update]

Fuck it I’m going to text her a link to this post.

Chapter 5: [FINAL UPDATE] TIFU by almost killing a girl [19F] who it turns out I'm [31M] accidentally dating and realising that I'm still in love with my ex [27F].

Chapter Text

FINAL UPDATE

Okay this will be my last update. I got so many messages asking me how things turned out so I’ve logged back in just to let you know…

Anne and I got back together :)

She still loves me and I still love her and whether they were legitimate or not none of the reasons we broke up apply anymore. She’s not so dependent on her family and I’m set up in my career.

Surprised my so many commenters saying I should go scorched earth on her or try and hurt her the way she hurt me.

But you know what I realised? It wasn’t just her family that kept her apart for eight years. I asked her if she would have taken me back after I got that first real job and had enough money to actually live on? And she said she would have. But I was too proud and resentful and angry to give her another chance then. And we were both miserable because of that.

Anyway. It’s early days but I’ve got a good feeling about things and she does too!

Oh also it turns out her Dad’s company is failing, that william dude was just trying to leech of them until the whole thing goes bust and William disappeared after he ran off with the secretary that her Dad was screwing? It’s pretty funny and I’m glad Anne and I don’t have to deal with any of that drama!