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“This is goodbye, Antonio. I won’t see you again.”
The legend of Captain Fernandez Carriedo, one of the most vicious pirates ruling the ocean, is still the playwrights and bards’ favorite story to tell. It’s written into songs and beautiful melodies that noble maidens are forbidden to sing, and the play was banned by the royal family for a decade before it was finally able to play on the stage. Nobody really knows where the story came from, the earliest script they could manage to find belonged to a young man named Feliciano Vargas, but there’s no trace of this mysterious young man other than this script.
The story goes like this.
Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, the captain of the Serpent’s Mischief, was one of the most evil men on sea. He was fearless, heartless and cunning, had managed to slip right pass the royal navy’s nose on several occasions when the navy thought they finally caught him. Rumor has it that Antonio made a deal with the undersea creature in exchange of his position as captain of the Serpent’s Mischief. That’s why he had a mermaid tattooed across his whole right arm, because it belonged to the mermaid and eventually he would have to give it to the flesh-eating, death-luring monster. He’s wealthier than half of the pirates added together, except for Captain Kirkland, the owner of the Impolite Murderer. Fernandez Carriedo and Kirkland, the two most feared people in those days, babies cried when they heard a whisper of their names, children were warned by the adults that their misbehavior would lead to Fernandez Carriedo and Kirkland cutting their tongues off, but the young girls dreamt of them.
Antonio Fernandez Carriedo was rumored to be a handsome man.
“Oh really?” the man asked in excitement, “how handsome?”
“His skin is sun-kissed, tanned in the most delicious way. And he has unruly chestnut brown curls that he held back with a maroon bandana. But the most amazing thing about him is not his fantastic body, or what that body can do to you…”
The man listening leaned forward in concentration, just like the old inn owner had expected. The old man paused for dramatic effect, before whispering by the man’s ear, “it’s his emerald eyes of magic. Once you’ve met eyes with him, you’re trapped.”
The man’s head tilt up to meet the old man’s eyes, “like this?”
The old inn owner’s eyes widened at the stunning emerald pupil of the man, before taking in the man’s curly brown hair that looked too soft for a man, and the white shirt that didn’t do much to cover his tanned chest. There’s some ink peeking out through the open collar and the inn owner could see the pattern of scales that extended onto where his right shoulder met his arm.
“Wait,” the man pulling away, searching around until he pulled a maroon bandana out of his pocket. The inn owner watched in horror as the man wrapped the bandana around his head and ruffled the end of his hair, before standing up to his full height that somehow took up half of the room.
“Ahoy.” the man said, his teeth too white and his smile too deadly.
Who would have thought the young man that carried a guitar case with a bright laugh by his lips when he asked for a vacant room could be the devil itself? The inn owner was thrown over to the other side of the room before he could react, his head smashed into the wall and let out a crack.
There’s blood in his eyes, the inn owner realized as he struggled to blink his eyes open. The air was filled with the smell of metal, and everything went blurry for a second before he was brutally dragged up by his hair to face the man…Antonio Fernandez Carriedo.
“See, all I wanted to do was to ask for a room to stay the night.” Fernandez Carriedo said to him, his face just an inch away from him, “but you just have to mention that Kirkland’s name in my story. Don’t you know what respect is, matey?”
The emerald eyes shone the light of murder.
“I hate when people compare him with me. He’s dumb and too proud for his own good, while I, as indicated in your story,” something red flashed through his eyes, “is terrifying and evil. Everything a pirate should be.”
He let go of the inn owner’s hair, him falling onto the ground with a heavy thud, and turned around to face his crew, “say what should we do with this poor thing?”
“More rum.” the tall blond man with a scar across his right eye mumbled, struck a match to light his pipe, “I haven’t drunk enough.”
“Not what I want, Abel.”
“You can just kill him.” said the girl with short flaxen brown curly hair that’s held back from her face with a green ribbon, “isn’t that what you want to do with him?”
“I need details, Emma. Details. Of course we’re going to kill him, but how? Where’s Lux?”
“He ran out to throw up when that guy’s starting to bleed.”
“Still not used to see blood, I see…” Antonio sighed. He looked around the room, “traditionally we sink someone’s ship when they pisses me off, but since you don’t have a ship… well, this place will have to do.”
The inn owner wasn’t sure if he heard the pirate right, “there’re other guests…” he managed to choke out the words.
“That’s none of my business now, is it?” Antonio walked over to behind the bar and picked up a few bottles of rum, “Abel darling, did you say you want more of this?”
Abel took the bottles from his captain, “don’t call me your darling.”
“Do they have gin here? I’m in the mood for gin today.” Emma spoke up.
“Just take these, leave whatever you want to keep and smash the rest.” Antonio thought for a moment, “and get Lux back in here. The least he can do is to shatter some bottles.”
Emma stuck her head outside the window, and a few moments later, a lanky look gentleman pushed through the door, one of his eyes covered by his too long fringe.
“Don’t be shy, love. These are for you.” Emma pushed a few bottles in his arms, “Lux you know how to break things, don’t you?”
Lux complied by dropping them all onto the ground. The glasses shot out to different direction in mixture with the bitter taste alcohol. When there’s no more bottles to shatter, Abel handed his lit pipe over into Antonio’s stretched hand, and dragged Emma and Lux through the front door.
“We will wait for you on the ship.” he said in a deep voice, before glancing over at where the stairs led to the second floor, “and be quick. I think someone’s up.” he didn’t wait for a response before leaving with the other two.
Antonio kneeled down beside the inn owner’s limp body, the pipe in his hand and a right tilt smirk, “there’re a few things I have to straighten up before I leave. First,” he grabbed the last bottle of rum and used his teeth to bite off the cork, “I did not make any deal with any undersea creature. I know them, but I didn’t make deal to be a captain. Second,” he poured the rum over the inn owner’s bleeding head, the stimulation on the wound made the owner winced in agony, “it’s a merman on my arm, not a mermaid. There’s a difference between the two. And the merman is not in possession of my right arm, but my heart. Last but not least,” he threw away the bottle, the owner flinched at the noise of it shattering into a thousand pieces. He looked up to meet Antonio’s eyes, for the last time. They’re so close that he could see his own sad pity reflection in those beautiful emerald prison. Antonio dunk the burning tobacco from the pipe onto his head, and let the fire devour the inn owner’s head along with his scream.
“Don’t ever, ever, mention Kirkland in the same sentence with me.”
Antonio left the inn just before there’re messy footsteps coming down from upstairs, and when the whole inn was on fire and the screaming was deafening, he was already by the port, ready to head back to his beautiful ship and sail out.
The Serpent’s Mischief sailed south for two weeks, in which they robbed two merchant ships and dodged the royal navy’s bullets once, before they decided to stop at a desert island for some fresh fruit. They’ve stocked quite some food from the merchant ships, but sadly they didn’t have much fruit like they had expected. They left half of the members on the ship and Antonio sat on the small boats with the rest of the crews to explore the island. And by noon they’ve collected enough fruits for the ship, and were generously enjoying the nice sunny weather before they had to set sail again.
Antonio, who was lying in the shallow water and discussing with Emma on where to head toward next, suddenly shot up from the water. He tilt his head to look at the east.
“He’s here?” Emma asked, a teasing smile on her face, “took him long enough.”
Antonio nodded, took off his soaked shirt and bandana.
“Here, give him some melons.” Emma handed him a small melon, “don’t let your boy wait too long, Captain Toni, he’s a jealous one.”
Abel snorted through his nose where he’s lying near them.
Antonio took a few steps into the deeper water, before turning back to look at Emma in lost, “I can’t swim over with this melon in my hand.”
“Ask him to come here, then?”
Antonio answered by throwing the melon at them and jumped into the deep water. It took him a while to get to where a young boy’s waiting, a bit further away from the shore. The boy’s hair was beginning to dry by the time Antonio reached him, but his scales shone under the blazing sun, like a diamond.
“You are so fucking late, bastard.” the merman told him, stretching out one slender yet strong hand to steady Antonio, another hand wiped away the droplet of water on his face, tugging his soaked hair behind his ear, “what took you so long?”
Antonio couldn’t help but laugh, taking the merman into his arms and hold him tight, “oh, Lovino.”
“Did you go and see my brother?” Loving asked, buried his head into the man’s shoulder and breathed. Antonio smelled like sun and joy and adventure, and Lovino yarned for those.
“Yes. Little Feli looked happy when I visited, said he’s met his prince charming.” Antonio felt the soft and cold torso in his embrace froze, “no, don’t worry Lovi. I’ve checked. It’s a nice guy.”
Lovino murmured something that sounded a lot like ‘nice guy my ass’.
“No, Lovino. Do you remember my friend who’s a royal knight, Gilbert? It’s his little brother that Feliciano fell in love with. Apparently he saved him when some governors were going to rob Feliciano.”
“Your friends are dicks, okay? Remember that pervert royal painter, Fran-something? He’s your friend too but he never wear pants.” Lovino rolled his eyes, finally pushing Antonio off him, and crossed his arms against his chest, “what else? I heard from the tide that you’ve gone and done something stupid this time. What is it?”
Antonio reached out to cup his little merman’s cheek, Lovino nuzzled into his rough, callus-covered hand, “nothing. I just set an inn on fire.”
The merman’s lips curved up into a blinding smile, “you did what?”
“I know.”
“Why?”
“Because he said you’re a mermaid. That and Kirkland and I are the top two pirates.”
“So you burned his inn? Seriously Antonio, you’re fucking nuts.”
“Yeah. It was fun. Would have been more fun with you there, though.”
“Well, I’m here now.” Lovino closed his eyes under the touch of Antonio, his hands closing around his arm to bring him closer.
“Yes you are.” Antonio’s other hand wrapped around the merman’s small waist, “I lost you once and I’m not going to let you go ever again.”
“Why not? You became a pirate and sailed through the world just to find me. Why can’t you do that again?”
“I was young. Someone told me that who dies in the sea will become mermaids. I’ve got to find you. There’s no other way.”
“It’s been so long since I drown, isn’t it?”
Antonio looked into his amber eyes, securing Lovino’s hands against his chest and pressed their foreheads together, “ten years isn’t too long.”
“Ten years…does Feliciano still remember me?”
“Yes, my love. He said he misses you everyday, especially when there’s someone making a fuss in the market. The cursing reminded him of you.”
Lovino let out a shaky breath, his eyes never leaving Antonio’s, “good.” he whispered, “someone’s missing me.”
“I miss you.”
“You see me, Antonio.”
“Not enough. I get to see you every once in a few months, and that’s not enough.” Antonio huffed, “you know what I want with you.”
“Not everyone who’s drown become a merman, Antonio. I can’t risk losing you in the water.”
Antonio didn’t response.
“Antonio. You are a captain now. You have your ship and your loyal crew and a nemesis.”
“I know.”
“Antonio.”
He didn’t know what to say to Lovino, so he captured his lips with his own and silenced him. Lovino accepted the passionate kiss, but he knew the lingering danger inside Antonio’s head hadn’t gone yet. All he could do was to use his whole strength to kiss back, to convey his feelings to Antonio through the tangle of tongues that no, he would never want him to die just to be with him.
He knew Antonio would do it for him, and it terrified him to see the determination in those emerald eyes.
“No, don’t cry, Lovino.”
Lovino didn’t even realize that there’re tears rolling down his cheeks, he just held onto Antonio, let the warmth of human body reminded him that Antonio’s heart’s still beating for him.
And this could be their forever, right here in this water that’s not far from the small, abundant island with Antonio pressed against him, his lips on his face to kiss away the cold salty tears. Except it’s not. Lovino lived underwater and Antonio stayed on the land. Lovino didn’t belong to this world anymore while Antonio was still taking over the ocean. Lovino would stay like this for a very long time and Antonio would die any second. He would kill himself for Lovino.
“Antonio.” speaking in a calmer tone, Lovino closed his eyes in agony because he didn’t want to see Antonio’s face when he hurt him. But he had to, to save him, “Antonio.”
Sensing the harshness in his voice, Antonio looked up in alarm. His eyes searched through Lovino’s emotionless face in anxious.
“I actually came here today to say goodbye.”
Antonio’s eyes became frantic, “no.”
“Antonio…”
“No. This can’t be. No.”
“I can’t. I can’t follow your ship around forever. And I don’t want to anymore. I still look like a fifteen year old from when I drown, but Antonio, you’re thirty now. What hope do we ever have?”saying those things broke Lovino’s heart, watching Antonio’s pain hurt him more. He knew there’s no hope for them in this world. A merman and a pirate. How romantic it sounded didn’t justify how long it’s going to last. Lovino was so happy when Antonio jumped onto a ship and found him after years of waiting in the cold dead water. He was in love with the sun on his skin and his brown hair that shared the same color with the strange snack chocolate that Antonio brought him a few years back. He was in love with the contagious laughter and the green eyes that hid a million stars inside. He was in love with a kind man who would rather throw his faith and goodness away to become a pirate to find him. He was in love with a man who so foolishly tattooed a merman on his arm because he said he wanted to feel him close all the time. He was in love with a man who wanted to kill himself to be with him. What hope did he ever have beside breaking his love’s heart to save him?
Antonio shook his head in disbelief, because this couldn’t be their last.
“This is goodbye, Anotnio. I won’t see you again.”
And the merman gone, leaving the man crying an ocean and painted his legend red with the name of cruelty. But they would meet again, wouldn’t they? In a stormy night where the sea shook the ship so hard that people were throwing over board, Antonio grabbed Lux’s falling figure and tossed him back onto the ship, before he sank into the dark water, and he saw, when the last air bubble left his lung, that a pair of amber eyes filled with sorrow and pain and soft hands caressing his face, before pressing their lips together for the last time.