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Seulgi wasn't sure when she first laid eyes on The Library Goddess, but the image of Joohyun sweeping her silky hair up into a ponytail had been ingrained in her mind for the past week, at least. The same week which had been spent frantically trying to finish the novel Joohyun recommended her while actually focussing on the contents - harder than it seems when the only thing you can think of is toned arms and ebony locks - just to have an excuse to return to the library. (Seulgi considered it a holy place; where else could you find an angel in the flesh?)
Seulgi had only read three of Joohyun’s recommendations so far but it was clear that Joohyun’s taste was… particular. A specific genre of woman-written novels, usually centring on coming-of-age as a woman, or just the sexism a woman faces in her lifetime, usually with a humorous twist. Safe to say, Seulgi had never felt like such an accomplished feminist. Yerim would be so proud.
Pushing open the heavy oak door, Seulgi peered around the establishment, distastefully noting the display of Healing Homosexuality books and hoping to catch a glimpse of her treasure.
(Usually, you have to search for treasure. Scour for hours, days on end, striving for a goal you may never find.
It isn't often the treasure comes to you.)
“Hi.”
Seulgi had always imagined her death to be quiet, simple, not for her to die of shock as she whipped around, almost tripping over her untied lace as she is faced with the focus of her thoughts in all her five-foot-two glory. She ended up clutching her fists to her chest as Joohyun stared at her, head tilted to the side. Slowly, her blank expression morphed into a small smile.
“Did I scare you?”
“Uh, a little.”
Joohyun giggled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Seulgi felt herself swallow unconsciously. “Sorry, I'll make sure to give you a little warning next time. You finished the book I recommended?”
“I did!” Seulgi scrambled to pull the book - Breathing Lessons by Anne Tyler - from her rucksack, making sure the cover wasn't damaged as she presented it to Joohyun, who patted her on the head and took the novel into both hands, as if it was something special. (Hardbacks were fairly expensive, Seulgi supposed.) Thankfully, Joohyun turned around right as Seulgi’s face turned a tomato red and headed into a door with the sign: ‘STAFF ONLY’.
Seulgi took the moment Joohyun was gone to compose herself. Willing her cheeks to return to their normal colour wasn't a simple task, and neither was stopping the ultra-lovesick smile that threatened to expose her entire secret when her golden star reappeared. She managed to tone it down to something somewhat fonder, nothing that couldn't be mistaken as friendship.
Not that they were really friends, just acquaintances. Acquaintances who traded book recommendations.
“Did you enjoy Supermoon?”
“I did!” Seulgi took a breath of relief - she had taken a leap of faith with her book choice, with this one being a fair bit gayer than the others. “It was definitely a new genre, for me. I didn't think your tastes would be sci-fi inclined, honestly. The first two books you rec-ed were just romance; I was surprised.”
“Honestly, I’ll read just about anything.” she left out the ‘especially if you recommend it to me,’ for her own sanity’s sake, mostly. Also her pride, but that had been whittled down significantly after her first interaction with Joohyun, when she almost yelled after her invitation to swap recommendations was accepted.
Joohyun beamed, right as the lights above the reception desk flickered to life. Seulgi knew it - Joohyun was magical. “Really? Well, follow me!”
Seulgi followed without a second to spare, practically zoning out as Joohyun lead her into the labyrinth of bookshelves. She was somewhat sure Joohyun could make any wish come true. All the signs pointed to her being magical - her smile lighting up the entire room, the way Seulgi couldn't take her eyes off her no matter how hard she tried, or how they had had minimal interactions but Seulgi sometimes caught herself imagining their lives together, way into the future. Of course, Seulgi had had crushes before, but never to this extent and never in such a small amount of time.
So, she decided to put her theory to the test.
“Let me treasure you.”
-shit, that didn't come out right. Seulgi really needed her mouth and brain to stop conspiring against her.
To her absolute delight, Joohyun didn't seem to hear. “What was that?”
“Nothing! Don't worry about it.”
“If you say so.” Joohyun didn't sound convinced in the slightest but quickly dropped it as she brought herself to a sudden stop. Seulgi barely managed to catch herself before they collided. “Ah! Here we are.”
They were deep into the biography section, where books lay scattered on the floor and shelves were in complete disarray. Joohyun cursed under her breath, somehow pulled a pen from nowhere and scribbled a note onto her hand before beginning to scour the shelves.
“God, these shelves are so out of order,” Joohyun muttered.
“Students, probably.”
Still searching, Joohyun hummed. “I’ve proposed we have some sort of sanction for people that mess up the shelves, but my boss won't even consider it. Having your eyebrows shaved off isn't that bad a punishment, wouldn't you say?”
Smart, funny, and beautiful. ‘Triple Threat’ wasn't enough to describe Joohyun. ‘The Ideal Woman’ was far more suitable, indisputably. Or maybe that was the raging lesbian in Seulgi jumping out - either way, Seulgi was so, so grateful she fell for Joohyun. Even if she was to get rejected, she knew Joohyun would manage to make her not feel like shit. She was just that good.
“Only one though, so they still have something to lose if they do it again.”
Joohyun’s laugh could bring world peace. (Though, Seulgi was sure such a strong woman wouldn't need the added arsenal, not when she could easily intimidate a room full of old men with her presence alone.)
“Oh, here it is,” Joohyun said, pulling out a fairly thin book, around 200 pages, maybe. It was definitely the shortest book Joohyun had recommended, but not the first biography. It was titled Heartburn, written by Nora Ephron and, according to the blurb that Joohyun had read to her was the retelling of the author’s divorce. Fairly different to what she had read so far, but if Joohyun said it was good, it probably was.
Seulgi was about to thank her, but Joohyun suddenly pulled a bookmark from her pocket and handed it over. Seulgi was hesitant in taking it; Joohyun waited patiently as she inspected what was written on the front. Four blank spaces, like in a game of hangman, and a question mark at the end.
“What-” Joohyun cut her off quickly, appearing far, far closer than before. She tiptoed in order to whisper in Seulgi’s ear. Her lips brushed, only just, against the shell of her ear, and a shiver made its way down Seulgi’s spine, the feeling that washed over her something akin to having a bucket of ice water poured over her.
“The Pope has it but he does not use it. Your father has it but your mother uses it. Nuns do not need it. Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one, Michael J. Fox's is quite small. What is it? Good luck.” All Seulgi felt was a pressure on her cheek, and Joohyun was gone.
She took a few moments to regain composure. It took a few more to register that Joohyun hadn’t asked for Seulgi’s recommendation, and another for her final brain cell to kick in and write down what Joohyun had whispered to her.
In the minute it took to reach the exit, she had another realisation.
“Holy fuck. She kissed me.”
Being gay had never felt so good.
A big one… little one… penis? No, too many letters, Seulgi’s brain unhelpfully supplied. It had been two hours since she arrived back at her apartment, the first spent starting her new book, and the second spent getting distracted by the scrap of paper with Joohyun’s cryptic words written on.
“Schwarzenegger, big. Fox, small. What could it be…” she leant back in her chair, propping her feet onto her desk with no thought for the mountain of notes scattered over it. “Father has it, mother uses it…” she sighed again, exasperated. “Penis!”
Yerim appeared from behind the door. “I thought you were a lesbian.”
“I am. Not all girls have vaginas, Yeri.”
“I know, I was trying to be pedantic.” Seulgi made a sound of understanding while Yerim just rolled her eyes and leant against the door frame. “Anyway, why are you yelling about penisi at two in the morning?”
“Isn't it penises?”
“How would I know, the fuck.” A silence. “Yeah, okay, let's ask Sooyoung.”
Yerim waltzed into the living room to grab her phone and immediately dialled Sooyoung. “Oi, Park Sooyoung, what’s the-”
Park Sooyoung. Park Sooyoung. “Oh, fuck- last names! Bless you, Yeri!”
“Uh, okay?” Yerim scoffed. “Good for you. So, Sooyoung, as I was saying, what’s the plural of penis?”
Seulgi easily tuned Yerim out, especially as she and Sooyoung started bickering, pushing her notes onto the floor and diving to turn her laptop on. It booted up painfully slow; her internet browser loaded even slower, even losing the Wi-Fi connection at one point as she struggled to open the library’s website. She muttered a brief “God bless for automatic logins,” and opened her borrowing history. It read:
Your Last Borrowed Books
Heartburn by Nora Ephron - not returned
Breathing Lessons by Anne Tyler - returned
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen - returned
The Terrible by Yrsa Daley-Ward - returned
She narrowed her eyes, searching for a pattern.
“If it’s last names, then...” She pulled the bookmark from the book, too on edge to worry about losing her page. Four spaces, four letters. Last names: Daley-ward, Austen, Tyler, Ephron.
Fumbling for a pen, she took a deep breath before filling in the gaps.
D A T E ?
Never had she grabbed her bag so quick. She rushed out the door - it was twenty-past-six in the afternoon, Joohyun’s shift ended at half-past. If she hurried, she could still make it.
Seulgi was still hunched over, catching her breath when Joohyun approached her, adjusting her rucksack to sit more comfortably on her shoulder. “Hey, what’s up? You’re never here this late.”
“First off-” Seulgi stood up straight, ignoring her protesting leg muscles- “you didn't let me give you my recommendation.”
Was Joohyun blushing? It definitely seemed like she was blushing, but the poor, flickering lighting made it difficult to tell. “Sorry, I was a little preoccupied.”
“With this, right?” Seulgi already had the bookmark in her hand, just extended it out to Joohyun. Joohyun took it gently, grinning when she saw it had been correctly filled in.
“So, what do you say?” she shuffled her feet, eyes shining.
If only Seulgi wasn't an entirely useless lesbian, maybe she wouldn't have been rendered entirely dumb by such a small motion. “Huh?”
“Is that a no?” Joohyun was frowning.
By God, Seulgi would do anything to see her smile.
“No! It’s definitely not a no.”
“You sure?” She still sounded flat, but the corners of Joohyun’s lips turned up. Seulgi was overwhelmed by the need to kiss her.
It was like gravity - a magnetic pull that neither of them could resist. Seulgi began to bend down, but Joohyun beat her to it, balancing on her tiptoes with one hand on her shoulder and the other snaking around her waist. She repeated her question, once more, and Seulgi could barely breathe out a ‘yes’ before there were lips on hers.
It’s no secret that Seulgi had imagined this scenario over and over again. It was the cause of many sleepless nights and lectures spent in a daydream, but none of that could compare to the real thing.
Here, in their local library, right in front of a display of Healing Homosexuality books, Seulgi was being kissed by the woman of her dreams.
It was surreal how soft Joohyun’s lips were, and their vague watermelon taste sent a shock down her spine. It was that that broke her from whatever trance she was in and reminded her that she should probably kiss back if she didn't want to give the wrong impression (again).
So, she took hold of Joohyun’s hip and pulled her impossibly closer, finally kissing back.
Here, in their local library, right in front of a display of Healing Homosexuality books, Seulgi was making out the woman of her dreams.
“Fancy seeing you here.” Seulgi smiled, side-stepping another unpacked box to wind her hands around Joohyun’s waist. Joohyun hissed as the eggs she was frying slipped dangerously close to the edge. She swatted at the hands linked over her stomach, but Seulgi just snickered and pressed her face into the crook of her girlfriend’s neck.
“I live here, dummy. So will you, once you unpack all those boxes.” Joohyun turned off the heat and spun around to flick Seulgi’s forehead. “You know, the ones you were complaining about tripping over?”
Seulgi pouted, beginning to protest, but was quickly detached from Joohyun’s waist and sent off - but, of course, not without a shower of kisses to wherever Joohyun could find. Usually, Seulgi would complain about the ‘factor of slobberiness’ from the kisses and move away, but was far more lenient today. Maybe it was the excitement of moving in together after what felt like so long, but had only been two years, that made her so willing.
It came naturally, really. Joohyun’s apartment was closer to Seulgi’s workplace, Yerim and Sooyoung were always planning on moving away after they both finished school, and Joohyun’s roommate, Wendy, got a job offer from halfway across the country weeks ago and had made like the wind, leaving Joohyun in an apartment far too big and empty for her tastes. And what better way to fill it than with another person and the memories that came with them. While Seulgi didn't have much in the way of trinkets, her presence alone was enough to fill the void. It seemed as though said void was far larger than Joohyun had realised, with how much fuller everyday life had become in the short time Seulgi had been with her. (Or maybe that was just all the boxes.)
Joohyun returned to her eggs, shaking her head as Seulgi sunk into the pile of boxes that had accumulated in the living room.
Ten minutes later, Seulgi had barely begun digging through the first box. Still, she jumped up when Joohyun mentioned she had finished breakfast for the two of them and took her recently-claimed seat at the bar to dig in immediately.
The two of them finished eating in record time, leaving Joohyun with nothing to do except be dragged by Seulgi and forced into helping with the unpacking. (Which she was going to do in the first place, she just wanted to see Seulgi struggle for a bit, first.) (Not that she would ever admit that, no way.)
Joohyun gave in to Seulgi’s begs after the fifth box had been unpacked, letting herself be dragged and dropped unceremoniously onto the sofa. There, she was trapped by Seulgi flopping on top of her, reaching for the TV remote and switching on Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
Little did they know, that one episode would turn into a full-on binge, with both of them snivelling into the other’s shoulder and cackling so hard they almost rolled onto the floor, as per usual.
Eventually, the ‘are you still watching?’ message appeared, but before Seulgi could reach for the remote, Joohyun grabbed her attention.
“Thank you,” she said, brushing a stray hair behind Seulgi’s ear.
“For what?”
“For letting me take you on a date that day.”
Seulgi scoffed. “I would’ve asked you out anyway. I had it all planned out!”
“Yeah?”
“It probably would’ve taken another six months for Yeri and Sooyoung to hype me up enough, but of course!”
“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you didn't write the riddle’s answer as penis. That would’ve been awkward as fuck.”
“Don't remind me, oh my God. Worst two hours of my life.”
“Give me an hour and I’ll make a banging cake to make up for it?”
Treasure wasn't always gold and jewels. Nor was it always marked with a red cross on a well-labelled treasure map. Sometimes finding treasure needed much more fumbling about in the dark; more blind jumps of faith, right into a sea of the unknown. Not everyone found what they were looking for, some got lost on the way, some were disappointed in what they found.
Seulgi didn't need riches. She didn't need show-stopping wealth. She needed love, and day-by-day, Joohyun showed her more and more.