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The first mark had appeared when Andrew was very young. He hadn't been sure what it was, and was too afraid to ask his foster family. He knew if he were to ask them, he'd probably receive similar bruises to that of the mysterious on that appeared on him only to go away the next day. He wasn't stupid. He knew normal bruises took more than a day to fade. But with no one to ask anyone or even a way to consult the internet, he was left to his own devices to figure out what was happening.
Neil had a similar experience, except he had asked his mother what these mysterious bruises were. She told him they were a secret he was never to tell his father about and left it at that.
As the years progressed, the bruises turned into scars on both of them. Andrew woke up to find new scars on his torso, and Neil found scars on his forearms. Both of them were old enough to have figured out what these scars meant. Both of them were saddened by the fact that their supposed soulmate was going through so much pain. Both of them believed that they didn't deserve to even have a soulmate. Drake was constantly reminding Andrew that no one would want him, and Nathan was constantly telling Neil how worthless he was.
When Neil's mother had finally taken him and ran, Neil thought that maybe his soulmate wouldn't have to suffer as much now, but the scars that still showed up on his forearms had told him otherwise. When Andrew finally went to juvie, he thought that maybe things would be easier for his soulmate, but the bullet wound near his shoulder said differently.
The scars stopped appearing on Neil's forearms one day, and after a couple of weeks of nothing but minor bruises, he'd thought that maybe his soulmate had finally caught a break. He didn't know that the scars had stopped because Andrew was in juvie and that the emotional scars still tormented him.
When Andrew stopped seeing regular scars on himself, he was optimistic for his soulmate. He didn't know that Neil's mother was now dead and he was completely on his own.
Without the constant scars as a reminder, the two of them went about their lives without a second thought about their soulmate. Neil found Millport and joined the Exy team despite what his mother would have said had she been alive. Andrew found his family and soon they all joined the Palmetto State Foxes Exy team. Neither of them thought about the other until the day Andrew came to Millport and hit Neil upside the head with an Exy racquet only to feel a welt rise on his own head. He stared at Neil, wide-eyed for just a moment before he shook his head and turned his expression back into his usual bored one. Or well, as bored as he could look on his medication.
Neil couldn't be his soulmate. He couldn't actually be meeting his soulmate right now. This was just a coincidence. He pushed the thought out of his mind when Wymack entered the room and tried not to let it cross his mind again. It was there, however, in the back of his mind, every time he saw Neil after that.
Neil was oblivious. He hadn't seen the welt on Andrew's head, and no harm had come to Andrew for him to put the pieces together. He had long forgotten his soulmate in his quest to survive and now that he was with his soulmate, he had no clue.
Andrew noticed every time Neil got a bruise during practice, and silently cursed him. Neil, on the other hand, thought his extra bruises were his own and that he'd simply forgotten how he'd gotten them. This went on for months, and as the time passed Andrew convinced himself that Neil would never find out and that was for the best. Neil had surely seen his scars back when he made them and probably had no interest in damaged goods. Neil himself said he had no interest in anyone after Nicky had prodded him.
No, Neil remained oblivious until Thanksgiving when the unthinkable happened. Scars formed on him that matched the same ones that Andrew had when he found him in the bedroom. He understood then, that Andrew had been his soulmate all along. When he saw Andrew's bare forearms later that night, it had only confirmed his suspicion. However, after what he'd just witnessed, he was fairly sure that Andrew didn't want a soulmate. But part of him wanted to make sure Andrew knew he had one, and that it was him. They didn't have to do anything about it, but he wanted Andrew to know he wasn't alone.
When Andrew was about to leave for Easthaven, Neil took his hand and placed it under his shirt. He knew Andrew must remember all of the scars he'd seen on his own torso earlier in life, so this was as good as telling him. Andrew had already known, but feeling the scars that he'd seen so long ago, and knowing what it meant that Neil was showing him, changed everything.
Andrew hadn't told Neil that he'd already known. He simply nodded and walked out the door. During his time at Easthaven, scars came back. Andrew didn't know what they meant, but he knew it meant Neil had done something stupid. While Neil was at the Nest, and scars that he knew Riko hadn't made appeared on him, he knew he had failed.
When they were reunited, Andrew wasn't surprised by the state of Neil.
"You're so fucking stupid," he told Neil once they weren't surrounded by the others.
"I was trying to protect you," Neil replied, his voice small. "You'd been through so much, already. I didn't want you to go through more…"
"Well it didn't fucking work, did it? You must know what happened while I was there."
"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't think Riko would do it if I went with him."
They stared at each other, Andrew angry that Neil had so easily sacrificed himself, and Neil resigned to the fact that he might never be able to help Andrew. Wymack called for both of them, and they remained silent throughout the day.
That is, until Neil found Andrew on the roof after practice. He crossed over to the other and sat next to him.
"Did you know before I showed you my scars that I was your soulmate?" He asked having mulled that question over in his head countless times since Thanksgiving.
"Yes. I knew the moment I hit you with a racquet the day we first met."
"And you never told me?"
"Wasn't important."
Neil sighed, and looked down at the ground. Why did things have to be so complicated?
"I think we should talk about it," Neil said, avoiding Andrew's eyes.
"Talk about what? There's nothing to talk about. You already said that you don't swing. I couldn't give less of a fuck about the whole concept of soulmates."
"But--"
"Listen, Josten, I don't want your pity, and that's all this is."
"It's not. Fuck, do you even realize that I care about you?"
"Only because you think you have to. I'm here to tell you that you don't need to."
Neil let out a small huff, realizing that he'd never get Andrew to understand at this rate. He hadn't realized he'd cared so much about Andrew before Thanksgiving until he had the urge to cut Drake into tiny pieces. Neil, who wanted so desperately to not be like his father, had wanted to pick up a knife and make Drake pay for what he'd done. Aaron took care of that before he had the chance to, and he couldn't help but think that Drake had deserved worse. It was in the moments after that when Neil realized how deep his feelings really went, soulmates or not.
"I cared about you before I knew we were soulmates, you know," Neil replied shaking his head. "I know it wasn't obvious because I don't even know if I realized how much I cared about you. My feelings hit me like a freight train on Thanksgiving. As if they'd been building up and waiting for a reason to make themselves known."
"That reason being pity," Andrew countered, a frown on his face. It was nice to be off his medication and be able to frown whenever he felt like it.
"You just can't stand the thought of someone actually caring about you, can you?"
"Not when that person only thinks he cares because the universe told him he should. Fuck the universe. Just because we're soulmates doesn't mean anything has to happen."
"Nothing has to happen, no. And I would never force you into anything. I just want you to realize that I want something to happen even though I've never wanted anything with anyone else--"
Andrew cut Neil off with a hard kiss. Neil wanted something to happen? This was all he was capable of giving. There was no softness left in him. He pulled away quickly and looked Neil in the eyes.
"Shut up. You aren't thinking straight."
Neil, who had been too shocked to return the kiss, let out a shaky laugh.
"I think that's the point, Andrew."
Andrew groaned and gave him a disapproving look.
"Now you sound like Nicky."
"Why did you kiss me if you want nothing to do with me?"
"To shut you up, obviously." Andrew left out the part where he'd been curious to see if he'd feel anything while doing it, and hated that he had. That one kiss had confirmed his fears. He did care for Neil in ways that scared him.
"And if I keep talking?" Neil asked with a small smirk.
"I suppose I'll have to shut you up again."
"I care--"
Andrew shut Neil up with another hard kiss. This time Neil was able to return it. He'd never kissed someone as hard as he was kissing Andrew right now. The kiss he'd been beaten for had been soft and clumsy. This one was the complete opposite. It lasted longer than their first had, only ending when both of them were completely out of breath.
"This is nothing," Andrew said, softly panting.
Neil nodded, unsure of what to actually say. They remained silent for a moment until Andrew broke the silence once more.
"But…if this is what you want...I can give it to you."
Neil looked at Andrew, hopeful.
"I want whatever you're willing to give."
Andrew rolled his eyes, but placed a hand on top of Neil's.
"Don't touch below my shoulders. And if it comes to it, I'll always need a yes before I continue further."
Neil tilted his head in confusion, oblivious to what Andrew was alluding to.
"I don't--"
"We never go farther than kissing without explicit verbal consent."
Realization dawned on Neil and a faint blush appeared on his cheeks.
"Right, uh, I've never done any of that stuff…but I'll make sure to give you a yes if it comes to it."
Andrew nodded, but remained silent until Neil spoke again.
"Can I kiss you again?"
"Yes."
Neil leaned in and captured Andrew's mouth with his own. His kiss was gentle and desperate all at the same time. Andrew kissed him back with fervor and they remained like that as the night grew colder. Eventually they had to leave the roof to get some sleep, but with this new agreement between them, they met every night on that roof to explore each other's mouths, and eventually, the parts of their bodies they were willing to expose. They always gave each other explicit consent, and Neil respected Andrew's "no" whenever he gave it.
That was really what had done it for Andrew. He'd passed the point of no return the moment he realized that Neil would never ask for more than he was willing to give. His feelings hit him like a freight train, just like Neil's had, and he finally let himself admit that what they had wasn't nothing. It was everything he could've asked for and more.