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“Look, it’s just… it’s just so much work.” Sophia says.
She’s giving up, why is she giving up?
“That’s work I’m willing to do.” Jake pleads.
She smiles sadly at him and shakes her head. “I’m sorry.” And then she’s gone, and he’s standing there, outside the precinct alone.
Sophia just broke up with him. They actually broke up. A weird feeling washes over him, almost a sense of panic.
The thing is, Jake isn’t sure he really loves Sophia. He thinks he’s more in love with the idea of her.
Sophia is great. She’s pretty and smart and funny, and most of all, she’s a great distraction. A distraction from his thoughts of Amy and her shiny dark hair and golden skin and warm eyes.
With Sophia, Jake can pretend. Pretend that his feelings for Amy are ancient history. Pretend that the sight of her sitting at her desk when he walks into work every morning doesn’t make his heart flip in his chest.
The truth is, he’s scared. Scared that without Sophia, he won’t be able to keep himself from thinking about Amy. Scared that, if Sophia broke up with him, that he’d fall back into that dark place he had been for months, when he had pined over Amy, desperately wishing he was the one who got to go home with her every night instead of Teddy.
That’s why he knocked on her door instead of Amy’s that night at the B&B, why he accidentally said he loved her after 3 months, and why he fought so hard to try and save their relationship.
Later, at the bar, he does shots with Terry and Captain Holt. He mopes and gets drunk, and they think it’s because he’s sad about the breakup. But really, he’s relieved. He had only been fooling himself. Deep down, he knew their relationship wouldn’t last. Really, he was sad because the reason him and Sophia would never work is the very reason he even started dating Sophia in the first place. That very reason sitting just across the bar in a booth with Rosa and Gina and Charles.
Sophia is great. But she’s not Amy.
He is in love with Amy Santiago, and he’s been trying to run away from this truth for a long time but he can’t run anymore and it sucks.
A little while later, Terry and Holt call it a night and then he’s alone at the bar, staring down into his glass of whiskey. He feels someone sidle up next to him, and he catches the familiar scent of vanilla and coconut shampoo that gets his heart racing.
“Hey.” Amy says softly as she takes a seat next to him.
He doesn’t look at her. He’s scared to look at her.
“I heard about you and Sophia.” She continues. “I’m really sorry, Jake.”
He looks up at her now, a rueful smile on his face, and shrugs. “It’s okay. I knew we weren’t working.”
She gives him a sad smile, and then places her hand on top of his. Jake tries to ignore the way his skin lights on fire where she touches it.
“Don’t worry,” she starts seriously, “some day, you’ll find a girl with incredibly low standards and a super weird soul patch who’s right for you.”
He can’t help the loud laughter that bubbles up and escapes his lips. Her warm smile grows, clearly pleased she was able to cheer him up. They laugh together, and the weight on Jake’s chest lifts ever so slightly.
And then he’s looking into those warm eyes and he thinks that maybe everything is gonna be alright, because even if it might hurt right now, Amy Santiago is still his best friend, his favorite person in the entire world, and she’s a constant presence in his life. And, right now, that’s enough.