Chapter 1: Trust Me!
Chapter Text
A Scenic Balloon Ride over Paris had seemed like a perfect way to celebrate her BFF’s birthday. It was a tethered hot air balloon, but it took them high enough that Alya had squealed with joy and started snapping pictures “for the Ladyblog, I always need stock photos like this!” Marinette had just smiled and rested her arms on the side of the wicker basket, watching her pal have fun.
Then the balloon operator got a call on his cell phone. Some sort of bad news about his permit or something. He got upset. Then he got akumatized, right in front of them.
Le Aviateur bashed the burner, leaving it stuck “on”, and he dove right out of the basket, cutting the tether on the way down. Marinette and Alya looked down in horror as the balloon began to rise into the prevailing winds and carry them off toward who-knew-where. Transforming into Ladybug was clearly not an option, but if she didn’t....
“Marinette! Look!” Alya was pointing at the balloon’s fabric, which was starting to burn. I thought these things were fireproof! The flames crept up the side of the balloon and began eating at the ropes holding the basket in place. There was no more time.
“Alya! You have to trust me!”
“What?”
“TRUST ME!” Mari climbed up on the edge of the basket and held out her hand. “We have to jump! It will be OK! Trust me! Just don’t let go!”
Alya hesitated, face filled with horror. Then, with a FWOOSH! the opposite side of the basket caught fire. The umber-haired girl leapt for Marinette, wrapping her arms tightly around her best friend as they both tumbled out of the balloon’s basket and into the open air.
As they plummeted toward the earth, Mari opened her mouth and screamed:
“TIKKI! SPOTS ON!”
Chapter 2: The Chat-Signal
Notes:
This is an old short-short story that I posted on Tumblr. Gabriel is NOT Hawkmoth in this one. (I wrote it during Season 1.)
Chapter Text
“Adrien! My office, please.”
Adrien stopped, “Ah...Pere, I have some very important homework to do, can it--”
“Now.”
There was an akuma, and he was going to sneak out. There was an akuma, and his father wanted to talk. Maybe it would be quick: it wasn’t like his father normally spent much time on him. Dully, he followed the man into his office.
“There is a new line coming this spring from Gabriel, and you will be the face of it. Nathalie will be adjusting your schedule to accommodate the photo sessions, but I wish to discuss some of the particulars with you....” The elder Agreste droned on and on, while Adrien fidgeted in his seat and Plagg fidgeted in his shirt pocket. His Lady was out there fighting alone, and Father wanted to talk about fashion! Finally, he had enough. He jumped to his feet, startling his parent into silence.
“Plagg! Claws out!” A bright green flash, and then Chat Noir glared at Gabriel Agreste. He held up one hand, middle finger extended. “See this, sir? It’s the Chat-Signal! And it says that My Lady needs my help! Now I am going to ask you to excuse me--we can pick up the thread of this conversation later!” With a bound he was at the window. Opening it, he leapt out and raced toward battle.
Gabriel stood and went to the window, watching after for a moment, his face expressionless save for one eyebrow that bid fair to have a permanent arch to it. Then he turned and walked to his safe.
“Correction, ‘Chat Noir’, that is the Peacock Signal, and after I get you and your Lady out of whatever mess you have gotten yourselves into, we are going to have a conversation about far more than just threads!”
Chapter Text
Her entire childhood had been preparation for working with her black-clad partner. Except his puns were better. Truly, she’d take Chat Noir over...this.
“False words are not only weevil in themselves, but they infect the soul with weevil.” (1)
Maman was off with Nadja for a Ladies’ Saturday Out, so Marinette had offered to help her father in the bakery. Everything had gone well until they discovered that one of the sacks of flour delivered that morning had...guests. After a polite but firm call to his supplier asking that he be credited for the bad product, Tom had disposed of most of the flour...and deposited one of their “guests” in a bowl and begun serenading it (and his long-suffering daughter!) with Dad Jokes.
“I fear no man, no beast or weevil, brother.” (2)
“Life is neither good nor weevil, but only a place for good and weevil.” (3)
“The only good is knowledge, and the only weevil is ignorance.” (4)
“Of two weevils the lesser is always to be chosen.” (5)
On and on he went, until came the Final Insult:
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of weevil is for good men to do nothing.” (6)
And that thing was still crawling around in that bowl and he did nothing! Marinette snapped. “Tikki! Spots On!” Tom turned and stared in shock as Ladybug scowled at him. Then, winding up for the pitch, she flung her yo-yo at the bowl with all her superhuman strength.
“I release you from Weevil!” (7)
Notes:
This is crack. Pure, unashamed, unadulterated crack. But I should still credit my sources:
1) Socrates
2) Hulk Hogan
3) Marcus Aurelius
4) Herodotus
5) Thomas á Kempis
6) Edmund Burke
7) The Miraculous LadybugFor #5, I found it at https://www.christianhistoryinstitute.org/incontext/article/kempis/
#7 is obvious.
For the rest, I am indebted to: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/evil.html
Now if y’all will excuse me, I am going to go sit in the Corner of Shame for a while.

QueenCorb_Starrgazer on Chapter 1 Fri 23 Jul 2021 08:37PM UTC
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Talvin on Chapter 1 Sat 24 Jul 2021 07:46PM UTC
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Shaikey on Chapter 3 Tue 13 Aug 2019 06:57AM UTC
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Talvin on Chapter 3 Tue 13 Aug 2019 11:59AM UTC
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