Archive of Our Own

The story of how he fell in love for the first time started, like every bad decision San ever made in his life: with a party and Jung Wooyoung.

It never was Wooyoung's parties, he was scared people would end up touching his shoes and San, as a normal person without a weird shoe kink, could only say that no one really thought of doing that, not even sober. But still, a party in Wooyoung's apartment was something no one had ever seen - and, for how Wooyoung hadn't changed a thing since they met, won't ever too.

Instead, everyone knew about Yeosang's parties.

San always (read: the three years they knew each other) thought it was funny, because Yeosang threw the best parties and wasn't not a single hair afraid of drunk college students going into his closet to, as Wooyoung once said, feel the fabric of his timberlands. And it was only funny because Yeosang was not only the one who paid for Wooyoung's shoes, he was also his four year long boyfriend.

Crazy, right?

They met in a party (San met them, the couple met in a supermarket; cute short story, Wooyoung throw a whole box of eggs at him and Yeosang, unknowingly, fell for his stupid charms) and it was then when San made the first bad decision since he got into college: giving Wooyoung his phone number (maybe because his mother used to say that the first friend would last forever,  maybe because he was wasted and Wooyoung looked cute with his cheeks blushed because of the alcohol,  who knew).

After a couple weeks and 530 messages from Timb dude I met a party he made his second wrong decision: accept going to another party (nothing bad at parties, San loved the music and the free alcohol, just bad at Wooyoung being a lightweight and Yeosang singing from the top of his lungs at the flat's owner piano).

Everything went downhill after that and, after getting Wooyoung's puke all over his shoes and a new pair from Yeosang in exchange for driving them home, they ended up being friends. Which was, in fact, another bad decision. But San decided to go with the flow, because he liked Yeosang's apartment and his music taste and maybe aside from his weird shenanigans (which were a lot weird and a lot in general) Wooyoung was such a nice person to spend his sober time.

His drunk time, however, needed to stay away from Jung Wooyoung. First, because San was a moody drinker. He had such a bad temper and once fought a woman at the convenience store over the last bag of japanese pan (and then cried for ten minutes in front of the gentle 12 PM turn cashier), but when he was drunk he literally lose the small temper reminding on his body. And second, Wooyoung was not only a weak ass, he also was touchy. And an idiot.

Knowing that, at their fourth party together (and after San fought Wooyoung over a bag of cheetos) San started drinking less, which lead him to be in a good pout at 4 AM at Yeosang's flat because 1) Wooyoung wouldn't let him sing along a Shawn Mendes song and 2) he was in a horrible inbetween phase were he wasn't neither sober or drunk, hence, he couldn't stand Wooyoung.

At their sixth party together San drank so much he was the one throwing up over Wooyoung's shoes and after that, Yeosang treated them both to churros and they shook hands, promising to never interrupt a Shawn Mendes song and never throw up over Wooyoung's shoes again (and to buy two bags of cheetos).

Their friendship was sealed, and it was, not surprisingly at all, because of 1) Wooyoung 2) a party 3) all of the above (read: correct answer number 3).

What San didn't expect was that, after three years and starting their senior year at college, things wouldn't have changed at all between them. Yeosang keep on doing the best parties, Wooyoung bought tenth identical pair of vans and San fought for another bag of japanese pan (at least, he won that time). And, partying with Wooyoung still made San take the worst decisions at life (mom Choi was wrong).

"It's time to get you a boyfriend," drunk Wooyoung was cute and all, with his rosy cheeks and glassy eyes, giving off a pretty good excuse for Yeosang to ask him to move in together. And San almost fell (without the almost) for that face once (six times) so he started closing his eyes every time Wooyoung sat next to him on his favorite place of Yeosang's flat: the couch. "Are you listening? Wait, are you San?"

He poked his cheek before bursting in laugh, making San follow him in a matter of two seconds, to snap back three later. He shook his head and finished his cup.

"I am me," he mumbled, squinting at him. "And I don't want a boyfriend."

"For the way you look at Park Seonghwa, I thought you liked boys," Wooyoung stopped for a moment to think, even pursed his lips in a cute way, making San a little weak on the stomach (maybe he drank too much). "But okay, let's find you a girlfriend."

"I don't want a girlfriend."

"A friend with benefits?" The boy wondered with a confused look painted on his face.

San sighed and rolled a little on the couch, one hand pressed to Wooyoung's thigh (in a trying to get some room way). He grunted when Wooyoung jumped on the couch in such a not so graceful way, both hands on his shoulders, looking at him in the eye.

"Leave me alone, Woo."

"Listen, I know you feel alone and that every time I kiss Sang you… You feel so jealous and you are my best friend, and-"

"Why are you crying now?"

Not only Wooyoung started sobbing at some point of his talk, his face was also covered in tears and his hands, taking a grip of San's shirt. San wasn't surprised because it was typical for him to end up tearing up a bit at 3 AM (two years ago, party at hip hop dancer Jeong Yunho, because of a picture of kid Yunho and a puppy), but he was getting uncomfortable as fuck.

His words were a lie though. At some aspects, not all, but a bit. Maybe he did felt alone because the longest relationship he had since he entered college was that week he went around with Jeong Yunho, right after Wooyoung cried at his childhood pictures (they stayed as friends, because they really weren't made for each other as more as 3AM waffle friends. The reason? Yunho wanted to dance and San to sleep, and not so surprisingly, they wanted to do it at the same time). But he wasn't jealous at all, not even thought of looking for a girlfriend or a boyfriend (even when Park Seonghwa looked like a whole ass model).

"I just, I just love you so much, San," he sobbed again, throwing himself into the older's body. San welcomed him, resignation filling every single cell of his body. As he patted Wooyoung's head, his gaze met with the one of a boy resting his back next to Yeosang's picture with Peter Pan at Disneyland. The boy looked even more uncomfortable, surrounded by people, not even drinking. Just standing there like someone forced him to not move.

And as if he asked for it, a boy appeared with two cups, but Disneyland guy didn't look happy with that, rolling his eyes and replying right back. San wasn't good at lip reading but he was sure it had to be either a "fuck off dude I don't want anything with you" or a "I told you I don't like pink vodka how the fuck do you expect me to drink this candy-made drink?" Maybe San hated pink vodka a little.

"I love you too, Woo," he mumbled after a few seconds. "But I am perfectly fine, you know? Not even that drunk. Maybe I need another drink."

He tried to stand up, just to fall back into the couch thanks to Wooyoung's ridiculous strength. The boy held onto him like a koala, arms and legs tangled around his waist and chest. "No need to pretend with me! I know how heartbroken you are, I am sorry your thing with Yunho didn't work out, I know you still love him but you need to forget and move on!"

"Now you are talking nonsense. Let go of me."

"I will help you! I owe you," Wooyoung held onto him tightly, cheek pressed to his shoulder (shirt stained with tears and saliva now, San really wanted to go home and sleep, and maybe forget about Wooyoung for some days). "Remember when you lend me 5 bucks? I haven't give it back to you yet, so let me find you a partner instead."

"A partner for 5 dollars? That's cheap," he joked for a second, pinching Wooyoung's hand to set himself free. Once he was up, and after recovering his balance, he pointed at the sensitive ball Wooyoung was at that moment. "I don't need a partner but, If I go talk with someone will you leave me alone?"

Wooyoung nodded softly without saying a word. With a sigh, San nodded to himself, fixing his shirt before wander around the room, trying to make time so it wasn't too obvious he wanted to walk to Disneyland boy. Curiosity? Maybe. An excuse to get rid of Wooyoung without actually flirt with someone? Totally. Disneyland boy was.alone when he rested his back into the wall next to him, making it obvious so Wooyoung could see him.

"Hey," he looked up to Disneyland boy who, from up close, was another giant like Jeong Yunho.

The boy raised a brow, finger pointed to himself. "Are you talking to me?"

"I don't see anyone else here," in fact, there was a lot of people on Yeosang's living room to be 3 AM, but around them, in that separated part of the room, there were only them, as if no one could see them. "Listen, I am a little drunk and maybe I am seeing things but is someone bothering you?"

San waited for an answer, however the only thing the boy did was bite down his lip and look back. San didn't has time to look his direction when the boy was all over him, not only his hands on his cheeks, but lips on his own.

He froze, eyes widening a little when they separated, a weird expression dancing on the stranger's face.

"What the hell?" There was another voice interrupting them; when San looked at his right, he found a glimpse of the same muscular guy that brought the tall one the pink vodka. "So it was true?"

"I told you," the guy said, one arm around San's shoulders, not so confident. And San? He didn't move (mostly because he was still shocked but also because he was sure he could hear Wooyoung's high pitched voice somewhere). "I am dating Jongho now. This is Jongho. My boyfriend. Yeah. Jongho."

Sounded totally fake, a little bit too panicked, voice trembling and hands shaking at San's back. The muscular guy, still, looked at him with a raised eyebrow. San remained still, shooting a nervous smile. Who the fuck was Jongho?

No, more important, who the fuck was that guy?

"Fuck, man," the guy sighed, stepping back. It was the only thing he said before snorting at the tall guy and going back, leaving them alone.

If he believed that, maybe those arms were the only muscles he knew how to use, because wow, Disneyland guy was so bad at acting (maybe he was just nervous, San couldn't tell).

In just a second the guy moved back, hands on San's shoulders.

"Hey, listen, I am so sorry for kissing you and all this, I'm--"

"Hmm, please don't get me wrong, this is only because I drank too much," San mumbled, taking a steps back to throw up in one corner.

Stupid Wooyoung.

🌙

San woke up with a piercing pain on his head and a breath tickling his neck in a strange weird. Soon he realized it was not other than Wooyoung, legs tangled and one arm over his face.

Analysing the room, he also realized he was laying on Yeosang's double bed. Memories of the night engulfing him like a blizzard. Wow, he was embarrassed to death.

He stood up (after throwing Wooyoung to the other side of the bed) and crawled to the ground floor, where the kitchen was. His stomach twirled a little at the sight of Yeosang's living room (it didn't matter how many times he saw the aftermath of a party, it always took him aback to see how much chaos a bunch of college students could make), red cups everywhere and a slight scent of alcohol and puke (he hoped it wasn't only his own, he was embarrassed enough).

Yeosang was at the kitchen, baking some pancakes. San grunted as a greet, letting his whole body fall into his friend's back. He knew Yeosang tucked him on bed, and cleaned his mouth because there wasn't any weird taste on his tongue aside from the mix of toothpaste and saliva (because, yeah, saliva had a taste).

"Sangie," he hummed as he rested his head on the other's back, "thank you so much for being the love of my life. I'm sorry for throwing up on your parquetry."

Yeosang giggled a little, moving an arm to flip a pancake on the air. San swore he heard him saying 'I'm a genius' under his breath before looking at him with a sweet smile. Sweeter than pancakes.

"It's okay, nothing a good detergent can't clean," he said, turning on his heels. "Pancakes?"

They both sat down on the small kitchen table and shared the breakfast. Yeosang poured syrup on his pancakes, San's stomach shrank a little.

"Did you sleep well?"

"I don't even remember going to bed," he admitted, hands pressed to his face. "My last memory is someone cleaning my face, and nothing more. Thanks for that too."

"Oh," Yeosang made a perfect 'o' with his lips, syrup sliding for the corner of his mouth. "That wasn't me, it was Mingi."

San narrowed his eyes. "Who?"

"Mingi," Yeosang repeated with a smug smile before wiggling the fork on his face. "The boy you kissed before throwing up. Not a nice thing to do, Sani, you are lucky Mingi is such a ray of sunshine and he helped you clean out."

At first, San clenched his jaw as the memory of last night. Soft lips pressed to his own, not moving at all, just staying there like a dead body, and the taste of alcohol on his tongue right before returning it to the outside.

He pressed a finger to his lips, feeling them: dry af.

But then, he frowned, twisting his tongue.

"I did not kiss him, he totally kissed me. Out of nowhere," he gestured, maybe acting a little bit too dramatic.

"Woo told me you asked him to be your boyfriend."

"I did not! Wooyoung was drunk, everything he said in the last fourteen hours is invalid. And, you know? I was too," he stood up, pursing his lips in discomfort. "I think I'm going to take a shower. Thanks for everything, Sang. Spectacular party as always, ten out of ten recommendable. But I think I'm not drinking again at least for a couple weeks."

He moved, legs still feeling like jelly and a heavy weight on his chest.

"You might want to thank Mingi. Look on your phone."

San took a shower first, using Wooyoung's lavender soap and spending way too much time under the hot water, trying to put his thoughts in order.

He wasn't that type of person. He didn't kiss on the first date nor in a party without exchanging names. But he was also sure that Mingi guy didn't kiss him out of passion; for the way he was named Jongho for about two minutes, he could just guess he was used in some way.

It didn't make him mad. No, he wasn't mad. He was just embarrassed that after years of not kissing another person, the first thing he did was throw up.

Disgusting.

After wrapping himself in Yeosang's bathrobe, he dragged his feet back to the room, were Wooyoung had transformed into a groaning ball of hangover.

"Sangie? Is that you? Please hand me a glass of water or just end my suffering," San decided to ignore him and pick his phone first.

There was a message from an unknown number. Great. Stupid Yeosang (love of my life car revoked).

Little drops of water fell into the screen.

"I want to die," Wooyoung mumbled.

San sat down next to him, deep sigh escaping his lips. "First time we agree on something."

🌙

The only reason San was sitting down in a cozy cafeteria on a Saturday afternoon, sharing a piece of chocolate cake with a total stranger, was because curiosity really was out there at the chase of the cat.

San was the cat. A very scared one, to be real.

The hangover wasn't even one of his problems, he had worse headaches. But he had sweaty hands, heart throbbing inside his chest, and a very inconvenient stomachache (not because of the alcohol and not preventing him to take a spoonful of cake).

Disneyland boy - Song Mingi, as he introduced himself after arriving - was sitting right in front of him, looking way better than his memory of the party. Light brown hair, a mole on his left cheek and small eyes painting in a dark, yet beautiful brown shade. A little bit sparkly.

The fork squeaked when both of them went to take another bit.

"Hmm, sorry. You can eat it," Mingi offered.

"It's okay," San laughed softly but ended up declining the offer, both hands on his stomach. He would've liked to say Mingi wasn't stunning and didn't make his stomach fill with pterodactyls of love, but it would be a total lie.

He pressed his hands tightly, avoiding eye contact.

"So," Mingi licked his lips, smiling shyly, fingers playing with the hair of the back of his head. "I think you deserve both an apology and an explanation."

San nodded.

"Okay. So when I was seventeen, I started dating the guy you saw yesterday, Jean. I don't want to bore you with my love life because is, how do I put it into words? A total failure, so let's say we dated for two years and a half, then he cheated and it ended. But," Mingi stopped his speech to give San a look; the boy was just staring at him without blinking. "A couple weeks ago he came back into my life, trying to get me back. Can you believe him? And even though I rejected him almost tenth times, he is so persuasive. He was trying his eleventh yesterday when you appeared out of nowhere."

"That's why you kissed me yesterday?" San guessed, biting his lower lip. Mingi nodded, giving him a small smile, eyes fixed on his intertwined fingers above the table. "And who's Jongho?"

"Oh! That's my new roommate. It was the only name he didn't know and I was nervous. Like dead nervous. I'm sorry for that."

"I see," the waitress interrupted them just to refill their coffee cups. Mingi thanked him with one of the most beautiful smiles he'd ever seen. Like galaxies exploded on his eyes or some movie shit, San was mesmerized by just the sight of that. It was painful to watch, pterodactyls fluttering around San's stomach.

Mingi gave him a short smile before taking another sip. "Sorry for kissing you out of nowhere. It wasn't a nice thing to do."

"It was nice," it only took San one second to regret his words, but it was already too late to retract so he bit his tongue and hoped for the best.

"Thanks," Mingi is shy.

Maybe he didn't know a thing about him, but after their fifteen minute encounter he knew he was a good guy. Plus, if he was Yeosang's friend, he couldn't be that bad (he hoped).

"I mean, I was drunk and, oh god, I'm so sorry for throwing up. But it was nice for a party kiss."

"Never had a party kiss," Mingi admitted sheepishly.

"Really?" he shook his head. "Well you're lucky. I only got one party kiss and it was from Yunho. We ended up dating for a week… It wasn't a good idea. And why I am telling you all this?"

"Yeosang says I am a trustworthy person. Also, Yunho? I know him, he is a nice dude."

"I know, we just didn't click. And, this is getting weird. I think," he was just trying to get away with the pain of his stomach. "Thanks for talking with me."

"Actually, San, I have another thing to tell you," San arched a brown. "Or maybe, a favor to ask you."

"A favor?"

Oh, no. Wooyoung had asked for many favours that didn't end precisely well.

"The thing is," Mingi started with a deep sigh, eyes meeting San's. "My mom loved my ex, you can say they have a pretty close relationship. Yeah, I am an idiot, I couldn't tell her the truth. Anyway, yesterday he really thought you were my boyfriend and-"

For some reason, San felt his mouth dry once again, just as if he just woke up again tangled in sweaty sheets and alcohol scent. He managed to stay still, even though he was burning inside.

"Maybehetoldherandnowshewantstomeetyou."

"What?"

"Okay, so maybe Jean told my mom about you and she called me this morning to congratulate me and ask for a… get-to-know-your-new-boyfriend date," Mingi took a deep breath, forcing a smile. "A mom thing."

Okay. So his mother was the reason he ended up stuck with Wooyoung and then Mingi's mom was exhibiting the same stupid behaviour.

He was frozen. Deep down, San knew he was scared and maybe in big problems. But on the surface, he was only panicking in front of frozen San.

"What?" He repeats, incredulous. And then, it exploded. "Why didn't you tell your mom about your asshole ex? And why didn't you deny the existence of me? We met yesterday!"

"It's not that easy. Jean is the kid of my mom's best friend and I hate confrontation. It's not like I will get back with that idiot, c'mon, I even kissed a total stranger to get rid of him."

San jumped out on his seat when Mingi stood up, just to kneel down in front of him in a matter of a second. He searched for his hands, trying to held them without success (mostly because the sweat of San's hands made them so slippery, but with an added point: San was totally freaking out).

Last time he freaked out that much was when Wooyoung broke down into his apartment in Halloween just because he didn't want to go trick or treat with him (in his defense, he told Wooyoung they were too old to be asking for candy and Wooyoung retorted that candy didn't have age. San added that Wooyoung didn't need more sugar on his blood torrent and Wooyoung found a way to open his door in the middle of the night, dressed as a werewolf). That time he thought his heart stopped beating.

Right there, with Mingi holding onto his hands in a public cafeteria (everyone was looking at them), he swore his heart rate increased to the point of being able to hear his own heartbeats.

"What I am asking is not habitual, we don't even know the fave ice cream flavour of the other but, will you please accept to be my boyfriend for a day?"

🌙

In all the ways San thought he would end up involved in a relationship, the fake one with a total stranger wasn't even close to the weirdest one (that was being introduced by Wooyoung in a party… which was, in fact, very close as how they met). He accepted after Mingi looked at him with glassy eyes, practically begging him to help him or just kill him instead and then the pterodactyls on his stomach screamed at him that c'mon dude, look at his cute face, are you really pondering the chance of not helping him?

Stupid hangover pterodactyls.

The first thing they did was getting to know each other. Mingi's couch and a bunch of different snacks because I owe you the world but for now I can only offer you snacks. I didn't know what you liked though.

San chose sweet popcorn.

"I think we can move onto how we met," Mingi said after telling him all about himself - Song Mingi, born on August 9th, at 3:35 in the morning, Incheon. Had one older brother and loved dancing, which was his major. His favorite ice cream flavour was mango and his favorite drink, coffee. His favorite group was One Direction and his mother tenderly called him Min (you should call me Min to be more realistic).

San forgot everything in a matter of minutes, because the only thing he got on his mind was the relationship itself. And how to get away with it everything at one piece.

He gulped, filling his mouth with popcorn.

"Okay," he mumbled.

Mingi shot him a sweet smile. He even wrote down everything San told him - how he broke a leg once playing football and how the name of his mother's cat was Fluffball - on his phone, cute thing.

"Do you have any idea? I'll let you choose how we met in exchange for helping me."

San never really thought about that. Even when Yeosang was fiercely convinced everyone had daydreamt before about the perfect way of meeting someone, San really hadn't one. He was okay with normal things, nothing way too cliché and no blind dates (he tried once in high school and was still messaging Hongjoong about how sorry he was for throwing a whole cake on his new pants).

"At a party?" He guessed after a while, shrugging on the spot. "It would be easy to tell the truth."

At what Mingi only wrinkled his nose. "I was thinking in something more romantic like I helped you pick a book in the library."

"That's because of my height?" San narrowed his eyes at him.

"So a party," he wrote down, small smile on his lips. "Let's say it was on my birthday party. Yeosang throw me one, and you two are friends, makes sense."

"When was your birthday?"

Mingi sighed, but without erasing that smile on his lips. "August 9th. We met there and then kept on talking. I told you about my breakup and you invited me to an ice cream (remember, mango). I asked you out on September 9th, exactly one month later. So we've been dating for two months, in secret because you are shy and after my breakup I didn't want everyone to know."

Mingi looked up, finishing typing everything down on the notes of his phone. "I mean, if you are okay with it."

It was weird, not going to lie. There was a tiny voice inside San's brain that was telling him to stand up and walk out of the apartment, but he didn't. He nodded, biting the inside of his cheeks at the sight of Mingi's smile.

They spent the rest of the afternoon planning everything down and repeating the small details that weren't important for San - like which side of the bed Mingi liked to sleep in - but, according to Mingi, were super important to his mom.

"What about skinship?" San mumbled. "You know, holding hands, hugging… kissing."

"Kissing?" Mingi echoed.

"Kissing. I know we already kissed before but, should we put on some rules? Something like not kissing again if it's not extremely necessary, and only hugging if someone is looking at us. I can hold your hand though, I don't have a problem with that."

San loved affection, and it was dangerous to say he was clingy. The reason he hadn't kick Wooyoung on the stomach? Because he gave the best hugs and San loved the way his stomach twirled every time he felt a pair of arms around his waist. But Mingi didn't have to know that.

"No problem," Mingi typed again. "I am not a sticky person and my mom knows that. Actually, that's the reason Jean cheated on me."

The way Mingi laughed shook San's heart in a painful way. "That's a shitty reason. Being in a relationship is not about how clingy you are, is about loving the other person enough to share a bed even though you know they drool and kick. Is about accepting some quirks like dancing at 3 AM or hating other people touching your shoes. Is about having a good time with a person you can kiss after a long, tiring day. Your ex is an idiot and now I just want to go outside and hug you in front of him."

San had to bite his tongue because damn, that was unexpected and maybe a little bit weird. His lips parted, ready to apologise when Mingi jumped from the floor onto the couch, directly on his arms. The tallest guy hugged him, but also elbowed him on the stomach.

"That was so cute!" Mingi cooed, pinching one of San's cheek.

"Let go of me!"

The door opened then, a young man entering the apartment with a confused look. "Hi?" His voice was filled with confusion as he closed the door at his back.

"Hi, Jongho! This is San, a friend."

San gently raised a hand in his direction, shaking the boy's hand. Of course, it was Jongho, the roommate.

"Why the deployment of food?" Jongho pointed at the table, still full of snacks, obviously ignoring the fact the were cuddling on the couch.

"We were trying to find out San's favourite snack," Mingi said without moving at all from the couch, one hand still on San's waist. "Wanna try with us?"

It took Jongho only two seconds to drop his bag and pick one bag of oreos.

🌙

San's hands were shaking when he met Mingi's mom. It was a short woman - that surprised him because he was starting to develop a neck pain just by looking at him on the eye - with a very bubbly personality, just like Mingi.

She accepted him without even ask weird things, and even kissed both his cheeks before inviting them to a coffee.

His legs shook under the table the entire time, too scared he would mess up everything, but Mingi held his hand the entire time. Maybe to please his mother with that tender image, or just because he was conscious of how nervous he was. Either way, he was thankful for that.

"Thank you so much!" Mingi hugged him when he dropped him at his apartment, San's head pressed to his chest. He finally could breathe.

He wrapped his arms around Mingi, staying still for a few seconds before the tallest separated, smile already dancing on his lips. "My mom loved you, and now we just gotta fake date for a few months (don't worry, without mom dates again, just a few pics from time to time) and then we break up because I have to start working and I don't want a long distance relationship."

San furrowed, but it wasn't of what should have pissed him (fake for two months). "Where are you going? Or that's a lie too?"

"I have a scholarship, for Millennium. Is a very famous dance academy in L.A. They saw me dancing and told me they would love to have me there. It's one year as a scholar and if they think I am good enough, they will hire me." Mingi brushed San's hair as he talked, fixing it for him. "I'm graduating in two months, so it's not going to affect you a lot. We just need to take a few pics together and it will be a win."

San stared blankly at him, still trying to process the words. Wow. He never expected Mingi to be that… talented.

Again, he should've been worried about the two months thing he mentioned, but it didn't really bothered him. He enjoyed the day.

"Is okay with you?"

"Totally," San nodded. "Just text me when you need me."

Mingi held his face in between his hands, leaning in to place a soft kiss on his forehead. They said their goodbyes and Mingi waved at him, in a tiny way, just as if he was a shy kid.

San pressed his back on the door, one hand on his forehead, the other hand on his stomach. His fingers took a grip of the fabric of his shirt, nails scratching his skin. Stupid love pterodactyls.

🌙

Wooyoung was a lot of things. A good dancer, the perfect older brother, a very supportive friend and the loveliest boyfriend Yeosang could've asked for - the trip a Disneyland? It was totally on Wooyoung and his love for surprises.

But he also was, without a doubt, irritating.

And San was going through another one of his I am irritating episodes. Again.

"It was because of me, because of me," Wooyoung sang in the most annoying way, making a little dance to accompany it. "You got a boyfriend thanks to me."

During the first ten minutes, San ignored him and kept on playing scrabble online with Hongjoong - they became friends at one point. But also at some point, it started to burn his blood.

Mingi texted him early that morning to meet up and take a couple pics because my mom can't stop talking about you and my dad got curious about your face. Nothing weird, but it'd be nice if you could kiss my cheek.

(San kissed his cheek and wrapped his arms around his neck while Mingi took a few selfies on the dance building's garden).

And Wooyoung happened to walk by with Jeong Yunho (stupid and whipped San for accepting without even think that Mingi and Wooyoung majored on the same).

"Is synesthesia a real word?" San asked, one hand on Wooyoung's cheek in an attempt of move him.

"Synesthesia, a perceptual phenomenon in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway," Yeosang read out loud from the other couch. "It means people can see colors in music or feel the taste of food."

San snorted. "Hongjoong won again."

"Stop playing with your phone and pay attention to me," Wooyoung grunted, snuggling close to San. "Tell us about your boyfriend, I want to know more about your boyfriend, the boyfriend you got thanks to me-"

What an annoying word.

"Shut up, idiot!"

San stood up, throwing the phone on the couch. He bit his lower lip, the word 'boyfriend' still rumbling in his head.

"Don't be shy, Sani," Yeosang interfered with a soft giggle. "Mingi is such a good boy, I knew you two would end up dating."

"Just because he kissed me and the cleaned me after I threw up?" San wondered.

"Because he told me you were cute once," Yeosang admitted. "But yeah, kissing you helped."

San stopped for a moment, blinking. Mingi what? Yeosang's lips moved a little as he was trying to contain an smile - totally an smirk.

"Why are you showing my pics around?"

"Because I was searching you a boyfriend," Yeosang said smugly, standing up and walking to the kitchen, not before stopping and sharing a sweet kiss with Wooyoung. "Who wants to order chicken?"

Wooyoung raised his hand, big smile tingling on his face. San decided to not say a single thing before going back to the couch, were Wooyoung didn't think twice in resting his head on San's shoulder.

The words were burning on his tongue; he did not want a boyfriend. He was just fine, he didn't need a relationship. Yet, he couldn't said it out loud. Because Song Mingi, who had stars on his eyes, thought he was cute.

And he was taken aback by that.

"So, how does he kiss?" Wooyoung whispered like a kid, proceeding to scream in a high pitch when San pinched him.

🌙

Mingi liked his coffee with a lot of sugar and four shots of milk. His favorite coffee shop was near the art building where San spent the majority of his time, so it wasn't a problem for both of them to share a drink from time to time.

After almost three weeks, San was used to the way Mingi would just throw an arm around his shoulder to give him a short hug or how he would take pictures without asking just to call him cute after that (under his breath, yes, but san could hear him, totally). 

It was hard to not say anything after what Yeosang told him, however, he was such a coward to just go and ask Mingi. So he pretended he didn't hear.

As for Yeosang and Wooyoung, Mingi preferred to kept the play.

("Yeosang hates Jean, like, really really really hates him," Mingi said while they were watching a movie together.  It wasn't weird at all because Jongho was just there, sharing a bag of honey coated peanuts with him. Just friends watching Spiderman: Homecoming together. "It'll be more believable if they think we are dating for real."

San just nodded. Having to stand Wooyoung was already one of the hardest things on his life, but after that, it became really difficult to not punch him on the face.

"Why don't you date for real?" Jongho added, eyes fixed on Tom Holland. "You two have some weird chemistry and I like San."

Mingi throw a cushion at him. "We told you because you're my friend, not to receive a lecture."

San pressed his lips together, hand rubbing Jongho's hair. "I like you too.")

"Our one month anniversary is next week," Mingi said, pouring his third bag of sugar. "Fake one," he retracted with a giggle.

San rolled his eyes, spoon tingling as he moved it without stopping (even tho he was drinking tea with no sugar).

"What do you want to do?" Mingi smiled at him, taking a sip.

That surprised San. He looked up from his tea, fingers getting warm because of the hot beverage. "What?" He parted his lips in awe.

"Is my way of thanking you for the amount of forehead kisses I've been giving you these past weeks."

"Yeah, you will erase my forehead at this rate," San added. "But you don't have to do it. I enjoy your company, for that I am doing it."

For that, and because with the pass of days, San fell deeper for Mingi's charms - and Mingi's weapons, like the starlight on his eyes or how nice he was to the cats that lived on the campus.

San had such a weak heart.

"Then, accept it!" he blurted with a big smile. "It doesn't have to be a big thing, maybe watch a movie? Or eat dinner? We haven't eaten dinner yet!"

For three weeks, the only times they hanged out just because they wanted - and not because Mingi needed pics for their fake beautiful relationship - was when they bundled up on Mingi's couch to watch a movie with Jongho. They never had a proper date before.

Yeosang and Wooyoung joined them at lunch a couple days a week, and that one time Mingi visited him while he was finishing an assignment - drawing the library -, he also brought Yunho.

They never were alone.

"Well," San pressed his lips together one more time, before being interrupted.

Speaking of the king of Rome,Yunho fell next to Mingi, resting his head on his shoulder, eyes closed. Yunho danced way too much, even though he was on the same class as Mingi. During that one week they dated, San only saw him after midnight, because he was always on the studio (and for that they broke up, San just wanted to sleep at normal times!)

"Hi, gays, how are you doing?"

Yunho, as well, firmly believed they were a real couple.

("Yunho is my friend and dated you, it just makes it better. You were so sad when you broke up that Yeosang wanted to make you happy and introduced each other, but we kinda knew about the existence of the other so we fell quicker. Perfect story!" Mingi had said one morning when they went to grab coffee before classes.

"We dated for a week, and I wasn't heartbroken."

"Is just a facade, San. Do you want a cupcake?")

"It's our month anniversary next week, but we don't know what to do. I was thinking of a diner, but I don't really know what San likes," Mingi turned to Yunho, totally ignoring the pout on San's lips.

Yunho, however, looked right at him with a smirk, receiving a kick under the table.

"For our one week anniversary San broke up with me," he laughed, stretching his arms. "But we went to eat waffles on that Wednesday, he likes waffles."

Mingi raised a brown in his direction.

"It was a three in the morning," San rolled his eyes.

"But he loved it," Yunho grinned.

He really did. Yunho danced until late but still managed to take him to eat something. And San loved desserts.

"Waffles it is," Mingi finished, clapping a little.

🌙

Eating waffles at 3 AM remembered him to Yunho. Actually, everything that happened after midnight ended up being tangled to the memory of sweaty Yunho giving him a  chapped kiss on the cheek before falling into the table - and asking for the thing with most sugar on it they had in whenever restaurant they where that night.

Eating waffles at 1 AM with Mingi, though, was really nice and lovely. What he hadn't in consideration, was that Yeosang would add himself to their first month anniversary waffle date at midnight right after hearing it from Mingi, which automatically added Wooyoung to the equation.

Yet, it was better than he expected.

"I want a spoon of that, please" Wooyoung, ordering first, asked nicely making the girl behind the counter blush a little. "And cream, lots of cream."

The boy giggled at the sight of the caloric bomb his waffle was. When his own waffle was out of the heater, the boy attending him pulled his best I hate my job but I don't have money so I need to eat all my rage smile and asked him. "Which type of syrup would you like?"

San looked down at the amount of syrups displayed. Actually, not a lot, but a lot more since the last time he came (two years ago, on that Wednesday with Yunho).

"Chocolate please," his smile grow as he saw how he poured the chocolate before passing the waffle to his coworker. The girl asked him the same exact question, pointing at the amount of toppings. "Strawberries, and no cream."

Both boys (read: Wooyoung paying at the end of the line and Mingi one step behind him, drowning his own waffle on caramel syrup) booed, shaking their heads in disappointment.

"No cream," Mingi clicked his tongue.

Yeosang, right behind Mingi, popped his head and mouthed at San ('Don't mess with Mingi's cream'). He decided to ignore him and pay for his food because, honestly, he didn't know how to interpret that and was having a hard time trying not to laugh.

Sitting down on the table, San had to bite down his tongue. Mingi's waffle was covered with too many syrup and cream that San couldn't be sure it was a waffle anymore. The same with Wooyoung; at least, Yeosang only asked for the drawing of a kitten and extra chocolate chips.

"Bon apetit!"

San loved waffles. They ate in silence aside from Wooyoung and Mingi exchanging excited sounds with every bite, as if they were tasting the most exquisite delicacy. San liked the way Mingi engulfed his cheeks and closed his eyes while eating.

When they finished eating, the conversation varied from school work to Mingi's dance exposition at the end of January to that time Wooyoung broke his pants while trying to dance hip hop. Yeosang laughed his ass off then, and did the same that night too, quickly holding Wooyoung's pouty face in between his hands to plant a kiss on his lips.

The way San chuckled made Mingi turn his way, opening his eyes. San shook his head, playing with the rest of syrup on his plate.

"They're so gross," Mingi spoke softly next to his ear. "Sweeter than my waffle."

San smirked. "Excuse me, you have all the town's sugar in your blood right now. How can you like things that sweet?"

Mingi shrugged, gaze flying to their friends - already making out without shame - and quickly looked back at San. Well, more specifically, he stared, making the older a little bit nervous.

"What?" He stuttered.

"You have something on your cheek," he pointed, not giving San a second to wipe whatever he had and just giving him a kiss on the cheek. "You are sweet!"

"Hey!"

The blood flushed to his face in a matter of a second, heart rate accelerating. It didn't help the way Wooyoung and Yeosang howled and clapped, drawing all the attention to their table. San shrunk on the spot, feeling Mingi's arms around their shoulder.

"So cute!" Yeosang cooed, Wooyoung whistled.

He was sure he could hear Mingi giggling, but he was too embarrassed to look up. The only kisses Mingi gave him were forehead ones, plus he wasn't expecting that at all (maybe he was a little bit flustered too).

They decided to go home at 4 AM and Mingi ruffled his hair. "I'm sorry for that," he whispered, even tho Yeosang and Wooyoung were far enough to not hear a single word. "I thought it would be more believable."

"Do we really have to be believable in front of the happy couple?" In his defense, they didn't have to kiss in front of his mom, not even on the pics Mingi had been taking.

"Jean texted me yesterday," Mingi admitted, name like acid on his tongue. "He talked with Yeosang to confirm it, and then texted me to ask how much I paid Yeosang to say, in his words, such bullshit."

With a deep breath, San nodded and just accepted things. What an ass Jean was, and he hadn't even exchanged a word with him. He raised his hand to give Mingi a soft pat on the shoulder, receiving a forehead kiss in exchange.

San closed his eyes, enjoying the way his lips tickled him as the night breeze of early December caressed them.

"I enjoyed the fake one month anniversary," San muttered as they separated.

"I'm glad," with a smile, Mingi pinched one of his cheeks, softly, with the care of a parent touching his newborn. "Only one month and I'll set you free."

For some reason, San's stomach kicked him from the inside at the sound of those words.

🌙

On December 15th, Mingi appeared on San's drawing class and gifted him a box of his favorite candy. Even when San was touched by the detail, he knew there was something bugging on Mingi's mind.

And he was right.

"Your house?" He was bewildered, orange candy melting on his mouth. "You mean to go to your house, as in with your family? As a couple?"

Mingi kneeled, the same he did when they met, and San knew he couldn't resist that look again, so he closed his eyes. "No!"

"San! Look at me," he held his hands, begging him. "I promise you it won't be that bad. Open your eyes c'mon."

He shook his head, crossing his arms just so he couldn't touch him. His mother loved to say he was the king of pouting, maybe she was right.

"San," he moved his head in the other direction, avoiding him. "San!" The way Mingi sighed made his heart skip a beat. "Don't make me do it."

"Do what?" His lips trembled a little, eyebrow twitching.

Mingi placed both hands on his face. "Kiss you."

The way San shut his eyes wide open make Mingi laugh. Yet, he had the enough time to pout at him, that look already on his eyes.

"I know what I am asking you is a lot but, my dad wants to meet you so bad. Is his birthday and he invited the two of us to a hot springs," San took a deep breath, feeling weak already. "My mom loves you, she almost forgot about Jean."

For a brief moment, he felt happy to hear that. But it clicked on him: it wasn't real at all. Their relationship, what his mother loved. All fake. A bad decision, like always.

And he felt sad for a whole minute before answering.

"A whole weekend costs more than just a box of candy."

Mingi's laugh filled his ears way before he could feel his arms wrapping him. As San rested his head on his shoulder, he couldn't help but think things would end up bad. Very bad.

🌙

"Oh, San, you got more handsome, haven't you?" The voice of Mingi's mom was the first thing they heard as they got off the taxi. She didn't doubt on putting both her hands on San's cheeks, one loud kiss on one, an smile welcoming him.

His whole body was shaking.

"You are scaring him, mom," the way Mingi said it, in a low voice but with the sweetest tone, made San even more nervous.

He was there. At Mingi's house. And Mingi was taking off their suitcase, because they were supposed to spend the weekend. In the same room, the same bed.

The car ride to Incheon was long, and for San, an agony. Stomach shrinking and sweaty hands. Mingi looked like he was going to an amusement park.

Way too happy for San's liking.

(Mingi bought San a bottle of his favourite apple juice but that didn't make him any less nervous about the whole Mingi, we'll have to share a bed situation - which Mingi answered with a "Don't worry, I am a rock sleeper. You won't notice me." But that wasn't the POINT).

"You must be San," his legs trembled as Mingi's father approached them. He gulped (and wow, Mingi really took after his dad). When they shook hands, San felt like he was about to faint. A pair of hands flew to his shoulders, keeping him safe from falling to the ground. Mingi, obviously. "Are you okay?"

"He is nervous," the boyfriend cleared out. "Don't pressure him. Mom, did you make food?"

"Yah, Song Mingi! You didn't even gave mommy a kiss!"

San felt a little bit more relieved when all eyes were on Mingi, the image of his mother having to tiptoe to kiss his cheek melting his heart. After that, he properly greeted Mingi's dad and they all entered the house.

Which was, for San's content, filled with pictures of Mingi as a baby. San whined at one where he was wearing a bear outfit, growling to the camera.

His mom took the albums on their first hour there and finally San could see the regret on Mingi's face, witnessing how San got a sight of his naked self at 3 years old.

By the time they had to leave for the hot springs, San had lost all the nervous demons that were devouring his soul.

He met Mingi's brother then (he looked more like his mother) and the two adorable twins he and his wife had.

"I want to retract," he admitted on the dressing room, stars shining on his eyes like he was a caricature. "I love this. And I love your nephews," Mingi chuckled. "They are the most adorable children I've ever seen."

"That's because they look like his mom. I'd be so sad if they looked like our family."

San furrowed at him, closing the locker, only a towel around his waist. "Don't you dare disrespect your face, Song Mingi. You are cute."

"Really?" After closing his own locker, he tilted his head to San in the most cute way. But looking at him was a serious error: Mingi, as well, was wearing nothing more but a towel.

With parted lips and a bubble on his chest preventing him to breathe, San had to babble the first words that came to his mind because shirtless Mingi was still waiting for an answer.

"Yeah," he mumbled, facing the locker.

"You're turning red, are you okay?"

"This room is so hot," he murmured hastily, reaching out the doorknob and meeting Mingi's dad and brother on the water.

It was his first time at a hot springs, being a lot way nicer than he actually thought. He loved the way the water twirled around his skin, or how he felt all his worries flying away. He was, for the first time in months, relaxed at fully.

On the other hand, Mingi was like an excited baby. He couldn't stop smiling from ear to ear and moving around the pool, chatting in a low tone to not bother the other persons enjoying the hot waters.

San was the first one to leave - totally not because he didn't want to find wet shirtless Mingi.

Later on that night, they went to have dinner, San finding out Mr. Song was just a soft soul like Mingi. Even though Mingi was sure his family loved his ex with a fiercely passion, they weren't that type of parents to compare them. Just as Mingi said, they loved San. They loved him so much it was heartwarming.

San had never felt so welcomed before in his life.

He almost forgot about all the nervousness and love pterodactyls until they arrived home and, oh, they had to share the bed.

San stood right in front of Mingi's high school bed, filling with plushies and space covers, while Mingi brushed his teeth.

It was way too small.

"Aden't du bushing dour teeth?" Mingi exited the bathroom, toothbrush still on his mouth. For the way San curved his eyebrows at him, he understood what was he thinking. "Aren't you brushing your teeth?" He repeated, taking the toothbrush off his mouth.

With a loud sigh, San kneeled down and searched for his toilet bag. He spent five whole minutes in the bathroom, one for quickly brushing his teeth and four for mental preparation.

He did breathing exercises and silent screamed into the nonexistent void.

Just then, he felt ready to exit and lay down next to Mingi. The boy was texting Yunho with a big smile on his face.

"Yunho got the scholarship!" He blurted, showing him a cute picture of Yunho going through an excitement moment. San's eyes opened in amazement.

"Really?"

"Yeah! We're going together to L.A!"

"Oh my god," San didn't know how his body moved but soon he was hugging Mingi and both of them were sending Yunho a congratulations big boy message.

San felt happy for Yunho, all his efforts, all his dreams, everything made perfectly sense at the end.

"Now you won't be alone in L.A.," San said in a small voice.

"Oh, right!" Mingi's lips parted in a perfect o, looking really cute with his hair down, a little curly, and engulfed in those cute pajamas. "Yeah…"

San lay on his side. "You don't seem excited. Is because Yunho likes to dance at 4 AM?"

Mingi answered with a giggle. "Oh, no. I love Yunho. It's just…" He stopped for a minute, staring at San. He ended up smiling. "Nothing. It just remind me how close we are to ending the semester. I will miss… Korea a lot."

San imitated his smile in a way of comforting him, when in reality, he was feeling a little bit sad. Mingi was such a good friend, and even if everything started as a fake thing (no, as a kiss on a party-- no, as a way of getting away with Wooyoung's drunk ass), their friendship was real.

(oh, and maybe he was falling for Mingi too, but that wasn't relevant).

"Let's sleep," he turned the lights off.

San moved to the wall side of the bed, making a ball of himself, giving Mingi his back. The only space between them was the size of an arm.

It only passed a couple minutes before San rolled on bed and lay on his back, almost hearing Mingi's thoughts out loud.

What's worrying you? Was what he should've asked, nonetheless, he had other plans. "Do you want to hear a story?"

Mingi moved to face him. "Hmm?"

"A story. To help you get some sleep."

It took Mingi a few seconds to give an answer, but in the end he nodded, getting closer. San licked his lips before talking.

"Okay. The story is about a man and a woman that fell in love, but also in disgrace," San started, faking a low tone that made Mingi crack in less than a second. "They met as kids, when the girl was transferred into the school. She had red hair, so everyone but the main character bullied her, cliché. One day, the girl was kidnapped (oh, I didn't tell you, inside of her she had a beast, don't laugh I am being serious!), and the boy, already in love, saved her. From that moment, they started dating, and were the happiest couple of the village. They even were expecting a beautiful baby but, oh no! The day their kid was born, a malicious villain attacked the village (remember the beast inside her? Is always the beast). The boy tried to save both his wife and baby, but in a horrible turn of events, the beast killed both of them, in front of his newborn son. How horrible!"

San faked a cry, not being ready to the burst of laugh Mingi was taken by. He laughed so loud San had to put a hand on his mouth to prevent him to wake his whole family. There were bubbles of happiness on his chest just with the sound of Mingi's laugh on his ears.

"That's Naruto, you idiot!"

"Naruto is such a sad story," San fake sobbed again. "Do you feel more sleepy now?"

Mingi shook his head.

"I feel super sad, Kushina and Minato deserved better. And now I want to tell you and story too."

"Okay," San patted his leg. "Go on."

Mingi started with a hawk. "This is also a sad story, about a man who witnessed the murder of his wife and 109 kids, leaving him alone with just one kid, with a serious handicap."

"Finding Nemo!" San whisper-shouted, raising a hand.

"Hey, you're not funny at all."

"Okay, try again."

He moved again, eyes already adapted to the light. He was able to see Mingi's serious expression while he thought on something funny to tell. And, oh, he had such a nice nose.

"Oh, you won't know this one!" He assured. "This is a story about a girl and a boy who fell in love, but then, thanks to the misunderstandings we all love, they stop talking with each other. The boy disappears and the girl starts a new life just to, hold on, find each other again in high school. He changed his name and now carries a dark and sad backstory he's not willing to tell."

There was silence for a moment, Mingi waiting for a response, but San's mind really went blank.

"I have literally no idea. Is this a dorama?"

"Is a Japanese manga called 'Ao haru ride'," Mingi bursted into laughter again. "I read it while I was in high school, and it was the best decision of my life. Wait!" He screamed again, jumping off bed and, honestly, almost giving San a heart attack. "I will give you the manga so you can read it. There's also an anime, you should watch it," he pointed, turning the lights on again and throwing himself onto the floor, taking a bag full of manga from under his bed.

San sat down, cross-legged, looking at him. He couldn't help but smile a little.

"Here!" Mingi chanted, raising one volume of the manga. San had to ask him to be quiet, because it was really late at night. "I bet you will love it. And maybe it'll break your heart a little too. I'll leave them on the table."

"You can do it tomorrow, big boy, now come to bed," he patted the mattress, regretting letting out that words just a second after.

The blush painted his cheeks (and his ears) as Mingi jumped back into the bed, turning the lights off (again). Still, Mingi only sat down on the bed.

"Thank you so much, San," he said after a while, in a low tone. The weird sadness on it made San stood too, sitting in front of him. "I mean, for everything you've been doing for me this past weeks. And this… You are such a good friend, and I'm going to miss you so much."

"Oh, Mingi," San moved on the bed, placing a hand on one of Mingi's. He never was a good comforter, but seeing Mingi like that really make his heart shatter a little. "You don't need to thank me, okay? And you can bet for sure I'm gonna miss you even more."

Mingi showed him a parted smile, finger moving to his lips, teeth finding his nails. When he looked at him again, he had glassy eyes, shining in the dark.

"Is there a way to pay you? Not for faking the whole thing but for being my friend."

A lot of things flew to San's mind. And even when he could've asked him for a whole month of free waffles, he wasn't dumb enough to miss such an opportunity.

He didn't say a thing, just opened his arms and smiled. Mingi understood it right away, saving the short distance that separated them to wrap San's body into his arms.

San let his head rest on Mingi's shoulder, getting drunk on the scent of lavender that his skin (or maybe his hair) gave off. Mingi's arms wrapped him tightly, one hand rubbing his back with such tender, chin on top of his head.

In just a second, San felt safer than ever. His fingers took a hold of his shirt, pressing their bodies closer. As he sighed, Mingi moved his hand to his neck, holding him close.

"Thanks," he mumbled, opening his eyes, dark filling everything. "For loving me, even if it started as fake. No one ever loved me this way."

"Don't you dare say that, Choi San," Mingi said, imitating the same tone he used on the hot springs. "You are amazing. The whole world would fall in love with you."

Well, he didn't know about the world, but he knew a thing for sure: he was falling in love.

He was screwed.

🌙

Last time San slept tangled up in someone else's legs, was Wooyoung just a month ago, right before Mingi kneeled down and asked to be his boyfriend for a day. A day that turned into almost 46 and a screaming pterodactyl on his stomach - never butterflies, always bigger things - that terrifyingly turned into something bigger and more furious than a pterodactyl, whatever it was.

Still, after all those nights sleeping with Wooyoung, he woke up knowing two things for sure.

One, Mingi was right about how he didn't move at all while he slept, because he slept the best in years in that little bed - or maybe Wooyoung was just too hype to even relax on his sleep.

Two, 46 days was enough to fall in love with Song Mingi and he was scared for obvious reasons. First, it was fake.

And fake things weren't more than that, a farce. Nothing real and nothing to make you feel deep things. Just a play, maybe a little cruel because it involved lies, but nothing more than that. He was acting, and so was doing Mingi.

Second, they were friends.

And San hated the way that sounded on his mouth. Yeosang was his friend, Wooyoung was his friend, and even Yunho was his friend, and with the last one as an example, feelings weren't exactly involved with friends or if it were, it wasn't meant to end in a good way.

Third, Mingi had only one month left until graduation. Two weeks until their break up, and who knew how many more until he flew to L.A. for a year. Maybe three, with luck four. Then, nothing.

He sighed, looking at the ceiling for about ten minutes before softly moving Mingi and getting into the bathroom. Looking at himself in the bathroom, he got flashbacks of that one party. He bit his tongue.

Stupid party.

🌙

Christmas came in a blink of an eye. The streets got covered in lights and ginger smell, San's mom called him early on the 23th to ask him when was he arriving home. And it clicked him.

Christmas holidays.

"It wasn't necessary, San. We don't need to give us gifts, we're not dating for real," Mingi said when, on the afternoon of the 23th, one day after taking the train to Busan, San knocked on his door and practically dragged him out of his apartment to go on Christmas shopping.

When he was little, San used to go on Christmas shopping with his mom the day before the Christmas eve. He grow up surrounded by busy people and the candy canes the old woman from the candy shop always gifted them.

He loved Christmas (and he also loved Mingi).

"Shut up, we are friends and I want to give my friend a Christmas gift. I already gave Wooyoung and Yeosang theirs, I need to get you something before going home," San said with a smile, standing in front of the bookshelf. He remembered his mom was in the search of a new cocking book. "And I know you already got me something."

He was way too focused on the self help books displayed on the front, half the original price (and San wanted to roll his eyes into the infinite because the majority of them just tried to make money out of people's problems), to notice the blush that covered Mingi's cheeks. However, he got a glimpse of the boy pouting and scratching his neck in embarrassment.

San turned on his heels, bright smile already on his lips. "Jongho messaged me, he saw you buying tons of yellow paper wrap."

It would've been a lie if San said he remembered Mingi's favourite color (he was so bad at those type of things), but he couldn't help the happiness crawling over his body at the thought that 1) Mingi remembered his favorite color and 2) Mingi knew him well enough to buy him something without having problems choosing.

Because, San was, without a doubt, blank.

Mingi didn't say a thing about it (San saw him typing on his phone, probably sending Jongho an I thought we were friends message).

They wandered around the shop for a while, thinking what would Mingi love (and a pair of red boots wasn't exactly what the boy had in mind) and just when San wanted to give up and, maybe pay Mingi a luxury dinner, he heard the boy screaming.

San saw him run into the CD shelf, eyes lighting up in a matter of seconds. "Look at this!" He exclaimed in a high pitch voice, holding a One Direction album.

The smile on his face was enough to melt San's heart. He didn't know a lot of One Direction, but he remembered: it was Mingi's favorite group.

"You want that?"

"I mean, is the deluxe edition."

When they went to pay, San asked for a gift envelope and Mingi pointed at himself in the cutest way ("Is my Christmas gift!").

The smile on Mingi's face was something he promised to never forget.

"Wait a minute here," Mingi pressed his hands on San's shoulders, giving him a short squeeze before running back into his apartment later on that day. It was chilly and San's coat wasn't enough to keep him warm. He tried to warm up his fingers with his breath before pulling his beanie down to protect his ears. Mingi came after a couple minutes, yellow envelope on his hands. San's heart started racing. "Merry Christmas, San."

It took him a few seconds to move his arms from his head to the gift. It was soft, almost like a garment. He gulped.

"It's not too much, I promise to buy you something because your gift is the most amazing thing in the world," Mingi chatted, getting so excited at how San touched the gift, trying to guess what it was. "But as Jongho already told you, here you go."

"What are you saying? I bet this is the best gift ever," San took a deep breath, tearing the envelope carefully, just to reveal a yellow scarf. His eyes opened, heart fluttering inside his chest. "What… A scarf? You knitted this?" Mingi nodded enthusiastically. "Wow, this…"

Mingi moved a step forward, taking the scarf and wrapping it around San's neck. It smelled like home and happiness (and Mingi's flower softener). They stayed still for a while, Mingi's thumbs caressing San's cheeks.

"Thank you," San said in a muffled tone.

🌙

hongjoong: okay, tell me what's bothering you

san: I am acting pretty normal, whatever accusation you have on mind is just an illusion induced by the cold days of December

hongjoong: you just used the word accusation

san: how many points for that?

hongjoong: I am sighing right now, just so you know it

hongjoong: you've been acting so weird the past two months, but today you are even weirder. is new year's eve, why are you so sad?

San looked up from his phone, cursing under his breath. December was about to end, and with that, everything he had with Mingi. Whatever they built up in the past months. It happened so fast, almost like a dream.

If he thought about it enough, maybe he was still on Yeosang's couch, a red cup on his hand and Wooyoung buzzing on his ear about getting a boyfriend, a weird (and long) illusion induced by his drunk brain and not bundled up on his mother's couch, wearing an old hoodie and Mingi's scarf, texting Hongjoong out of all his friends.

Not for nothing, but because Yeosang and Wooyoung went to Paris to celebrate the new year, Yunho had his phone off and Mingi was the last one he wanted to talk in that moment.

As he typed a reply, he thought of the possibility of confessing what he was feeling to the other boy. Pressing the send button, he discarded the option. Mingi was about to go out of the country.

Like those two months, the boy was about to vanish in front of his eyes.

san: the year is ending, I am just scared of new starts

hongjoong: why?

San doubted for a second, eyes fixed on the window in front of him.

san: because I like how my life is going right now, and I know tomorrow things will change

san: I just wish for a little more time

Later that night, when the clock struck twelve and the fireworks filled the sky, San received a text from Mingi. At exactly 12:00:00 AM.

His heart never hurt that much at a sight of three words.

🌙

"You have to go to Paris, is really the city of light and the city of love," Wooyoung couldn't stop talking, arms tangled with San's as they entered the auditorium. Yeosang was a few steps forward, having a small talk with Jongho. "You should take Mingi for your first anniversary."

San wanted to scoff, but decided to pat his friend's hand, sweetly, before taking their seats (Yeosang wanted first row because he wanted to take a full plane of Mingi while he danced, but first row was too much for San, so they opted for the third one instead).

"I don't think it'll be a good idea," San whispered, for his luck, not loud enough for Wooyoung to hear them.

Last days of January. Almost a month passed and thanks to the holidays and the finals, he couldn't see Mingi not even once (because, obviously, he was running away). But they texted.

No, Mingi texted.

About the snowboard his dad gifted him, about how Yunho and him already found an apartment in L.A. (it hurt), a pic of the twins with Song Claus (cute), a video of Mingi and his mom on the car, listening to One Direction at full volume, a pic of him dead on the studio, finishing his last dance.

The last one.

San was vague, because he was already going through fake break up, even though Mingi hadn't mentioned it yet. However, everything he was feeling was real.

The sadness, the tiredness biting his skin, the pressure on his chest and how he didn't want to eat a thing. But he wasn't only feeling numb, he was also feeling dumb, because first rule of fake dating was: no falling in love.

He never broke a rule before.

Yet there was no way of forgetting Mingi, because even when he tried really hard on avoiding him, everything reminded him of Mingi. The cats of the campus (Mingi loved cats), the sight of golden specs (the same Mingi wore back on his house, totally fake ones), the tall guy wearing all black walking on their direction (it was Mingi).

San stood out, in a try of running away that ended up in a short hug.

"You came!" Mingi smiled brightly at him. He didn't want to look at him, but he did it, and noticed how Mingi was a shaking mess. "I've been calling you. Are you okay?"

They moved a little so they could talk. "Yeah, yeah," he repeated, digging his own grave because he didn't sound okay at all. "Finals, you know."

And the fact that I can't stop thinking about your stupid cute face every time I see a cat and now Yeosang wants to adopt one for me but I am fucking allergic to cats, you know.

Mingi held his hand out of nowhere, giving him a quick squeeze.

"Okay," one of the things San loved about Mingi was how he wasn't pushy. He was the perfect boyfriend, because even though everything was fake, Mingi treated him like he always wanted to be treated. "I am so nervous right now. I think I am going to die. It's not like I'd lose the scholarship but still…" He looked down, right into San's eyes. "Do you think you could give me a hug?"

If he did it, everything he accomplished in the last month would've vanished into the air. But then he remembered he hadn't accomplished not even a thing, so he tiptoed and wrapped both arms around his neck.

He could feel Mingi's arms around his waist  holding him tightly, nose right on San's neck. He took a breath, making San shiver a little before breaking the contact, Mingi going back to the stage and San to step one: I fucking love Song Mingi.

Third row was still too close for San's heart. Mingi's figure appeared like a beautiful work of art in front of his eyes, dancing so gracefully, moving like he owned the whole stage. Nervousness nowhere to be found- or maybe, San knew where to find it.

Laying on his arms, as if that hug was enough to give Mingi the confidence he needed. San felt his legs trembling when the spectacle ended (and he was unable of looking at Yunho because he danced right after Mingi and, honestly, San was already deep down his own thoughts to pay attention to his own dance) and the tall boy ran to him, embracing him in a big hug.

Whirling in the air, San felt so light, almost like a feather. He held tightly, close to Mingi, as if he didn't want to let go. Just wishing everything was a dream.

He was happy, so happy, and yet, so devastated.

At some point, when people stopped howling at them, Mingi held his hand and took him out of the building. Without sayings a thing, just dragging him along the cold streets of Seoul. San was wearing his scarf.

The way they didn't say a single word for about ten minutes made San's head buzz loudly. Maybe it was because of the cold breeze attacking every patch of naked skin he was showing (his cheeks, above all), or the way Mingi's hand was wrapped around his own.

Softly, and warm.

Mingi was warm, ever since the day they met, his heart had been a lot warmer.

San didn't process the fact they were heading to Mingi's apartment. He snapped back into reality once he was sitting on the couch, Mingi next to him. Alone.

Jongho was always there when San bundled up in that couch, but then, they were alone. For the way Mingi is looking at him, it was obvious he wanted to say something. Still, it took a whole minute for him to open his lips.

"I've been meaning to tell you this," he spoke after a while, fingers intertwined on his lap. Nervous again. "The last two months have been, without a doubt, the best ones of my life. I've had two relationships in my life and ours was the one I loved the most, even though it was fake. And…"

Fireworks exploded inside San's brain, the sound of his words dying somewhere along the room. He felt happy for a second, just one, and then reality hit him with the strength of a train.

Fake.

Mingi's graduation was just a couple weeks after, they were at the endgame. The real one. It happened to hit San that he hadn't a thing to lose, not anymore, so he did what he wanted the most in that moment.

Without saying a thing, he leaned in, one hand already caressing Mingi's cheek before their lips met. Ignoring the way his heart was racing and the sudden sweat covering his forehead, it went smoothly. Soft at first, lips meeting each other, greeting with a slow dance that quickly moved into something more intense. Mingi welcomed him as if it wasn't a real matter, lips parting a little so their tongues could meet.

San felt fingers pressed to his waist and the way Mingi smiled into his lips at some point. It felt soft but hard at the same time, like drinking hot chocolate on new year's eve. Safe but still a little bit dangerous. San threaded his fingers through Mingi's hair, bringing him close and jumping a little at the feel of teeth biting his lip, and maybe he couldn't help but think he wanted to taste Mingi's honey lip balm forever.

But they couldn't.

So he moved his hands from his hair to Mingi's chest, pushing him enough to run away from his embrace and also his apartment. He really tried to contain his tears, but it was as hard as kissing Mingi.

He felt his stomach twirling again, throwing flashbacks at him.

Ending everything the same way it started; with a non consented kiss and a stomachache.

🌙

March never was that cold, and San hated the way his hands were still freezing inside two pairs of gloves.

He took off his beanie as he sat down on one of the tables of the coffee shop and asked for an americano with no sugar. Coffee wasn't his favorite drink, but after a couple months it was the only thing keeping him from falling asleep on his lectures.

San fell asleep almost everywhere, and even when Wooyoung cried for hours thinking he was dying, the reason was way easier: he missed Mingi.

Well, he was an idiot because he deleted everything related to Mingi. Phone number, pictures, and even the sketch of his face he did on the last page of his, hmm, sketchbook.

He was scared of what Mingi had to tell him, so he just disappeared.

Told everyone they broke up and for the way Yeosang bought him a cake, Mingi played along really well.

Graduation was a week ago, but San stayed at home reading Ao Haru Ride. Maybe he deleted almost everything related to Mingi, but he preferred to keep the manga on the desk of his room instead of facing Mingi and listen to him.

The story only made him teary eyed and broke his heart even more. After a day, he ended up binge-watching the anime and he hated how well his japanese teacher was because he could understand the opening song very well. And it was even more heartbreaking.

I'm entirely taken by my motives,

I lose sight of what is important, run away

And restart today again

And then.

When our words miss each other,

just a few tears of regret flow

Busy feelings link together in our hearts

I want to make sure it's tuned correctly

He almost broke down his laptop because after the sadness that flooded his heart for about two weeks, it came the rage. And then sadness and rage mixed together and when Wooyoung gave him a hug on Movie Sunday he cried on his shoulder and then proceeded to kick him.

"Hey, you came!"

San looked up, already teary eyed because, damn, he was again at stage one. Yunho gave him a big puppy smile, embracing him in a warm hug.

"It's been months, where have you been?" Yunho asked with a sigh, sitting on the chair in front of him.

San shrugged. "Life, I think."

"Life," Yunho echoed with a small smile curving his lips. "Or Mingi."

The way San's heart swell made him shiver. It was too soon for that.

"What are you saying?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Yunho chuckled, asking for a birthday chocolate cake before talking. "San, we dated."

"For a week," San punctuated.

"An amazing week, and in the midnight," Yunho pointed one of the cookies at him before taking a bit. "Listen, maybe for you it meant nothing, but I enjoyed that week. And I learnt a lot about you. Like how you like tight hugs, or love sweets, or hate coffee but also love to try the things the person you like loves just because you want to feel closer to them."

San pressed his lips in a thin line, concern eating him alive.

"You only tried waffles at 3 AM because I loved it, and I know you started using the lavender softener Yeosang uses after all these nights sleeping on his apartment."

He was right. But would San admit it? Never in a million years (because he did it in a total unconscious way).

"What's your point, Yunho? I thought you wanted to see me because is your birthday, not because you wanted to give me a lecture."

"You like Mingi, and you like it more than a friend helping another friend out," Yunho raised a brow at him.

Fuck.

"You know?"

"Well, Mingi told me after you decided to fall from the face of the earth."

San finished his coffee, already picking up all his things. He took the gift from inside his jacket and played with it for a couple seconds before narrowing his eyes at him.

"Are you mad?" He asked in a low tone.

"Nah, it never seemed fake to me, not even from the start," Yunho shrugged, thanking the waiter with a big smile when he deposited the cake in front of him. "Maybe it's because Mingi is… Mingi. He is boyfriend material, and super sweet, I totally understand you. But believe me, San, you need to talk with Mingi."

San took a deep breath before standing up and sliding the small box over the table. He looked at Yunho with the same sad eyes he had been wearing around for almost two months.

"Happy birthday, Yunho," he muffled.

He put on his beanie again, feeling the cold breeze surrounding him, biting him, exiting the coffee shop sadder than he entered. The sky was gray, the weather a little bit windy, perfectly marching with the blizzard of emotions twisting inside his chest.

"San!"

He sighed, stopping in the middle of the street, closing his eyes for a moment. Turning back  on his heels, San expected to see Yunho, trying to keep that weird conversation or just because he opened his gift to find the necklace with a star he bought him (Yunho loved stars) and was ready to hug him. He even bought one with a moon for Mingi back when he was spending holidays at home, but the box hadn't left the drawer of his bedside table.

Either way, he wasn't expecting to find Mingi, engulfed in his big coat, out of all people.

Words got stuck on his throat, leaving him like a dead body in front of him.

"Hey," Mingi smiled a little, punching San in the heart with just that gesture.

Mingi was, without a doubt, still as stunning as he remembered. "Hey," San repeated it, unable to move.

"How have you been?"

Typical question, almost like talking about the weather after two months of not exchanging a single word (not gonna lie, San missed his happy videos singing along One Direction and the pictures of random things he found on the street).

"I thought you were in L.A.," out of all things San could've said, he chose that. What an idiot.

"I delayed it, for Yunho. And," a second of silence, San couldn't take his eyes out of him. "I wanted to talk, San."

San shook his head. With a weird expression painted on his face, he waved at him, starting to turn around and maybe stay in bed for an eternity. He wasn't ready, he really needed time to forget about all those feelings that bloomed on his heart (very real feelings).

"I never told my mom we broke up," Mingi's words stopped him again, even making him move enough to steal a look over his shoulder. The way Mingi gulped was so obvious it was funny. "I did tell her the truth though."

That made San even more astonished.

"About Jean, and about you, and about… our thing. But I never told her the words broke up. And you know what she told me?" Mingi smiled a little, taking a step forward. "That Jean was a dickhead. Can you believe it? My mom saying the word dickhead with her whole chest."

Mingi laughed, taking another step, and San couldn't help but laugh along. He was facing him again by the time Mingi reached him, only four steps between them.

"She also told me that what she felt for you was real and… what I feel for you, is also real."

San narrowed his eyes at him, heartbeats buzzing on his ears. "I don't understand you."

"Remember the night of my dance exposition? I was about to tell you something, but you interrupted me with a kiss (not that I didn't love it, it was amazing, for the record). You know what I wanted to tell?"

San shook his head again, that time totally frozen on the spot, melting at the touch of Mingi's hand on his cheek. Fire over ice.

"I wanted to break up with you, to start again. For real this time," Mingi held one of his hands, pressing it to his lips and leaving a little kiss on it. San was about to cry on the spot. "What you did for me was much more that helping me out. You saved me, San, and I am so sorry if I ever hurt you. It wasn't my intention at all, you were just… so cute, and Yeosang told me you were single. I went to that party trying to have an actual conversation with you instead of looking at you from afar, but Jean came around and ruined everything. And just like destiny, you appeared and threw up on my shoes."

First things first, San was giggling like a small kid after months of crying over the silliest things. Second, the love pterodactyls died at last and finally he could feel butterflies on his stomach.

Wings dancing around and tickling him.

"You stalked me?" He finally could say in between giggles.

"Hey! I was just admiring your beauty from afar." Mingi took a deep breath, holding his face with both hands, bringing his face closer and closer. San closed his eyes expecting for the best.

And he got it.

Mingi pressed his lips on his forehead, fireworks exploding somewhere at the back of San's mind.

"I missed this."

"You can't imagine how much I missed you," San felt like crying again as he felt Mingi's arms around his waist. And it felt so good, so good he forgot about all the post break up stages he went through and, again, came back at number one. Crying.

(Maybe he didn't actually move from stage one, but he had better things on mind - like kissing Yunho for doing God's work).

🌙

"Can you shut up, Wooyoung? Is that too much to ask?"

"Who said that?"

"It was Hongjoong again, pretending that he doesn't exist won't make him to, you know, actually disappear," Yeosang sighed, eyes meeting San on the screen.

Six months later, the only parties Yeosang could throw with all his friends on it, were over Skype and a shitty internet conexion. And living in L.A. didn't made things better because while for Mingi and Yunho was only 8 PM, for the rest of them was 10 AM.

Wooyoung just woke up and was in a bad mood because Mingi is gone, summer is gone and now even San is gone! Just say you hate me and go.

After a month and lot of talks - at midnight, taking breakfast, on the airport sharing a goodbye kiss - San and Mingi decided to start his relationship apart from each other. But they were okay with that, because after all the crying, knowing that he hadn't to hold his feelings on his chest anymore, San felt free.

At the end of the summer, San decided to fly to L.A. and just surprise Mingi there - San was the only one surprised because Yunho, Mingi's roommate in L.A., liked to walk around naked.

"Where is Jongho?" San asked.

"The real question is what I am doing here," Hongjoong, who after getting less and less texts of San during those two months breakdown decided to appear on his apartment and almost hit him, becoming a lot closer after that because you care so much about me even what I did to your pants, sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"I will text him," Yeosang offered, making Wooyoung growl again as he shoved him aside to text. They waited for a couple seconds. "Oh. He says he encountered Park Seonghwa on his way to the supermarket and now can't move."

"Damn, Seonghwa's power," San chanted, at what Hongjoong slightly agreed. The door opened just after that, sweaty guys entering the apartment with loud complains. "Hey, the party already started!"

Yunho was the first one appearing on camera, sweaty hair but a big smile on his face. Mingi dragged his feet on the floor just a few seconds after, giving San a quick forehead kiss before mumbling something ("I think I lost a lung today") and heading to the bed.

"Give me a moment," San said, ignoring how Wooyoung whined and leaving Yunho a full spot on the chair to greet their friends (or most specifically, Hongjoong).

Mingi was already laying on bed like a dead body, still wearing shoes. San sighed, kneeling down next to the bed.

"Hey, big boy, you can't sleep without taking a shower," Mingi pouted, not even opening his eyes. "Min, c'mon. I'll help you."

The boy rolled in bed, getting close enough to tangle his fingers on San's hair. One whole minute passed, in which the only sound they could hear was Yunho's screams.

"San," he whispered after a while.

"Hm?"

Mingi showed him a parted smile. "I'm glad I kissed you at that party."

It softened San heart the way a simple sentence could make him so happy, or how a cute tall guy could make him wiggle around with a single word.

He leaned it to place a kiss on his forehead, caressing his hair, whispering into his skin. "Best decision I made at a party, thanks to Wooyoung."