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It wasn’t often that she noticed the Captain was awake at 3am.
More commonly, Aschen or any other person up at that odd hour of the night in the Zeit Krokodil would see Haken curled up on the couch or in the captain’s chair, if he hadn’t retired to his room by eleven at the earliest. He wasn’t there, if the slightly ajar bedroom door was any indication.
The full moon’s light bathing the Zeit’s main room revealed the Captain’s absence as she scanned it over a handful of times. A gut feeling told her something was wrong, even more so when a dim light from the kitchen caught her eye. The distinctly sweet smell of bourbon only made it akin to concrete.
Peeking her head through the kitchen doorway, a strange sense of relief overcame her.
There Haken was, head buried in folded arms with a half-empty bottle of some cheap Lost Herencian whiskey sitting about a foot away. A small glass with nothing but a swig left contained within sat on the table, loose in his grip.
Aschen held back a sigh, unsure as to if he was asleep or not as she inched closer. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen him halfway through a bottle in the dead of night, as ridiculously infrequent as it was. Try as she might, heavy metal footfalls caused him to stir; Aschen continued the motion of pulling out a chair for herself regardless. Eventually, bleary blue eyes took a moment to focus on her, a curtain of ashy silver covering his vision for a moment.
“Aschen…?” His voice husky and slightly slurred, a sigh left his lips like a ghost. “What’s up?”
“I could ask you the same question, Captain, although I can probably guess,” she stated, careful to keep her voice low. Better to cut to the point. “Are you okay?”
It took a few seconds for him to respond, the alcohol running through his system taking it’s hold like warm shackles around his throat. Another sigh came out muffled from behind white shirt sleeves, the Zeit’s captain eventually finding his voice when he slowly sat up. “Nah…not really.”
“I…suppose I can see that already. Although…” Aschen said, glancing at the glass Haken polished off and set aside. Leaning back in an old wooden chair, blue eyes began to stare off into space before a stern, worried voice brought them back to earth. “You don’t drink like this unless there’s a lot on your mind. Especially not cheap bourbon, of all things.”
“You got me there, Cinderella.” The carefree, alcohol-aided smile on his face did nothing to assuage her concerns. His eyes focused on the kitchen ceiling before closing, the smile growing slightly pained. “Can’t sleep.”
Another equally uncommon occurrence. Usually it didn’t take much for Haken to fall asleep; if alcohol was involved in that process in any capacity, then…
“It must be worse than last time if you’re not out on deck…” She mentioned, remembering seeing him and Kaguya fast asleep in each other’s arms the morning after. That wasn’t any longer than a few weeks ago. “…Captain.”
Silence met her at first. With eyes slowly opening, Haken glanced off to the side as if he knew what question would escape her lips.
“…What?”
“Are you…” Tensing up a bit, Aschen remembered what kind of night it was. Everything clicked, as much as she didn’t want it to in hindsight. All she needed was an answer to one simple question. “Are you having those nightmares again?”
A quiet, pained laugh filled the kitchen’s stale, whiskey-tinted air, the confirmation feeling light as a feather yet as crushing as the weight of the world. Delivered on a breathy whisper, no less. “…Bingo.”
It made her feel sick. She wasn’t aware before that point that she had the capability.
“For how many nights?” Asked matter-of-factly, Aschen pulled the bourbon closer to her after a shot’s worth filled his glass. Capping it, she felt a bit thankful that the bottle wasn’t very big. “And…was this full before you opened it?”
Sitting up to knock it back immediately, the light thud of glass against finished wood barely fazed him as his line of sight eventually included her. “Probably three or four...I guess. And no, it wasn’t.”
“Are you sure you’re not referring to how many drinks you’ve had so far?”
A smirk rose. She wasn’t sure if alcohol tinged the gesture or not.
“Funny.” Leaning back again with his hands behind his head, Haken sighed. “Hell…I think I polished off half the damn thing anyways.”
“I can tell.”
Bleary eyes glanced aside. “Heh…didn’t think I sounded that bad…”
“Trust me, you do,” she remarked, not missing a beat and grateful that he wasn’t inebriated to the point of being unable to hold a conversation. “At least you stopped before you got blackout drunk.”
Another light sigh left him. “…Fair enough.”
Before either of them could trail off, Aschen picked up the slack, making sure his vision locked onto her before she continued. “Those nightmares, though…how bad have they been getting that you’re resorting to drinking yourself to sleep?”
The silence she recieved was deafening.
“…Captain.”
“Let’s just say…if I’m gonna be nursing an awful hangover in the morning…” Haken shook his head, resting his elbows on the table as a visible wince let the gravity of the situation settle in the atmosphere. His voice began to waver, something that she didn’t often hear. “…Pretty bad, Aschen. Like…waking up in a cold sweat, crying in my sleep kind of bad. I…”
Even with tears beginning to take shape, Aschen didn’t have the heart to interrupt.
“I just…can’t get any of it off my mind. That full moon, that chamber…her voice when she asked me to leave…” His gaze laser-focused onto her, sharp and tense even with bourbon in his system and tears in his eyes. “I just…miss her, I guess. A lot, if I’m drinking like this. This kind of crap is why I hate talking about the past…”
Getting to her feet, the pull to assist beyond words alone flooded her. Taking the glass and rinsing it out, Aschen snagged a pitcher of water from the refrigerator and filled its contents halfway. “That’s…understandable. She’s been back home for about two weeks now, hasn’t she?” She asked, seeing him finally relax and exhale as a half-full glass came into his line of sight.
“Yeah. As far as I know…she’s been damn busy,” he said, taking a sip and fiddling with the bullet pendant around his neck. “Not her fault. Lots of important stuff going on down there, from what I’ve heard.”
Even though she more than likely knew the answer, Aschen felt the urge to ask anyway as she took her seat, more for her own peace of mind than any desire for an answer. “I’m assuming the full moon out tonight has something to do with you deciding to drown your emotions in cheap whiskey?”
“…Wouldn’t be surprised. I did go out on deck a little earlier just to clear my head after the first drink I had, and…seeing it just made all those memories get dragged up worse. I don’t really know why, either, but…” She barely noticed his smile twitch. “Maybe it’s because she’s not here.”
Nothing but sympathy painted her expression as silence befell the room once more. It was the first time in a long time that Haken was truly transparent with her about how he felt, regardless of the reason being a little too much bourbon. “That’s was the first time in a while that you’ve felt…genuinely scared, hasn’t it?”
Focused on her again, Haken’s gaze seemed far more wounded than before. Whether it was pride or exhaustion, Aschen couldn’t tell. She almost didn’t want the ability to.
“Honestly…yeah. When Pops was telling me all that, I just…didn’t know how to process it at first,” he breathed. Setting it back on the table, he traced the glass’ rim with a single finger. Catching himself before he spaced out completely, Haken slowly leaned back in his chair; eyes closed, another prolonged sigh rung throughout the light-starved kitchen.
“I…really did fall hard for her over all that time, and the thought of never being able to see her again…” Whatever attempt at holding back failed as tears began to stream down his face, his hands trembling as they released the glass gripped between them. Staring blankly at the table before locking eyes with Aschen, he forced himself to continue. “I just couldn’t stand the thought of losing her, just like that…”
With a soft, failed attempt at snapping his fingers, she understood the impact of his words just fine without.
Aschen sat in silence, unable to process how to deal with the outpouring of unfiltered emotion coming from someone who didn’t open his heart this much to anyone. Some part of her felt touched that he felt he could towards her; there had to be some way to repay that. Getting to her feet and helping Haken to his, Aschen gingerly wrapped her arms around his chest, letting him fully grasp the situation as he eventually returned the gesture.
Letting herself lose track of time as Haken’s grip tightened around her back, Aschen swore she picked up a heat signature from the main room. Whoever the owner was more than likely heard the barely-restrained sobs of a very drunk and lonely bounty hunter, stopping a couple feet short of the doorway.
As she noticed him begin to mellow out after what felt like at least several minutes, Aschen placed a hand on his back. “Would you want me to bring her here?”
“Wait…what?” Unsure of how to respond, Haken levelled a bleary gaze at her after breaking the embrace. Taking a seat, he polished off the glass of water before giving a quiet laugh. “I mean…not now, obviously. Don’t know how much she’d appreciate her boyfriend smelling like cheap-ass bourbon. At three-thirty in the morning, no less.”
“I apologize for not clarifying, Captain, but I didn’t mean in the middle of the night. Maybe she can be of some help as far as getting rid of the hangover you’ll no doubt have after all of this.”
Whether influenced by alcohol or not, Haken’s face grew a bit red. “Yeah, you might have a point there, but…heh. Whatever…appreciate it.”
“I’ll make sure to contact her after my maintenance is finished; be warned that I’ll point out everything that happened here tonight, including the amount of alcohol you had to get to this point.” Making a beeline for the kitchen doorway, she turned her head to face one exhausted captain. “Hopefully you’ll be awake before noon at the earliest.”
Slowly standing, Haken smirked. “Don’t count on it, Cinderella…”
“Very well then. I’ll just bet on it with Marion and Lee instead.”
The reaction she got was swift. “H-Hey…don’t do that either, dammit!”
Aschen closed her eyes. “Don’t count on it, Haken.”
“Tch.” Glancing away, Haken smiled despite the embarrassment he clearly must’ve felt. “Fine. I’ll try not to get my hopes up.”
Deciding to leave any extra quips for the morning, she stopped just before leaving the kitchen behind. Maybe contacting Kaguya in the morning would be the best course of action after all.
Opting to lead him back to the captain’s quarters, Aschen wondered if Haken picked up the affinity for whiskey from John. The moon’s light and a familiar mad scientist caught her eye as they entered the main hallway, bringing with it a faint hope that he’d be able to sleep a little better for the rest of the night, bourbon coursing through his system or not.
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“Aschen.” A low voice, tinged with concern, struck out from the darkness as Marion caught her attention, a cup of fresh coffee in hand. “…Is everything okay?”
“As of now, I think so,” she replied, sitting opposite her on the couch. “He’s out cold, although I’m sure the bourbon helped. And here you are, pulling another all-nighter.”
“I noticed. And yes, guilty as charged.” One sip later, she donned a smug grin. “Honestly, I didn’t think he had it in him to down half a bottle of crappy whiskey in an hour, but…hell, he seems pretty keen on surprising us lately.”
“I suppose if there wasn’t any motivation for it, I’d be more concerned.” Confirming Marion’s fixed attention with a raised eyebrow, she continued. “He’s…been having those nightmares again.”
“That…huh.” Rubbing her chin, she glanced aside. “That explains far more than I would’ve thought. Although…”
“Hm?”
Marion’s expression grew soft, moonlight reflected in her eyes. “…It’s not often I see you go out of your way for him like that, what with offering to contact Kaguya in the morning and all.”
“I…I see.” Aschen glanced away, not willing to admit that the unrestrained worry flooding her mind had a hand in her decision. “I just figured that course of action would help him.”
“I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see, then, won’t we? After your maintenance, of course.”
She had almost forgotten. Although…
“…One more thing.”
Stopping Marion before she got to her feet, an empty coffee mug sat dormant on the table. “What is it?”
It wouldn’t be the first time, after all.
“Would you like to make a bet with me?”