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Youngmin walked out to the living room after taking a good long shower. It has been a long day. He peeks towards Donghyun’s door and there is no light seeping through, the boy is probably asleep by now, or using his phone on his bed, it doesn’t matter. With limited silver light shining in from the balcony, he finds his way to the side of the coach and switched on the night lamp. The two kids will need it when they come home tonight. He wants to stay awake and see them home safely and make sure they feel okay, but he feels like it is a sacred night he shouldn’t interfere with. It hurts him a little, but he’ll have to accept it.
Now back to his room, he rolled onto his bed and cuddles a plushy his beloved fans gave him. It resembles him, they say. He stares into the round eyes of the alpaca plushie and finds it easier to put a smile on his face now. His grandma often tells him going to bed with a smile keeps the bad dreams away, and Youngmin doesn’t want to have nightmares tonight. Sleep find him eventually.
He was in the middle of a dream he doesn’t remember when he was pulled back to reality. His eyes are still blurry from sleep, but he can hear soft shuffling noises. It is unlike him to be awakened so easily. This is strange. The eerily familiar soft sobbing alarmed him. He shook the sleep off and searched for the boy. It breaks his heart to find the tiny body kneeling on the floor by his bed, tugging on to the edge of his duvet, body shaking trying to suppress his cry.
You can always rely on me, you know?
It is a little awkward, a little uncomfortable. The boy is no longer the same person he used to see every day before they entered the survival show. He is taller now, with more muscles and a broader shoulder. His features are in the middle of the transition from a young boy to an adult. Sometimes the person he sees on screen feels like a stranger. The Park Woojin from Wanna one doesn’t seem to be the annoying boy he came to know in the countless nights they spent in their training room and is even further from who he knew way back when they were in Busan.
It is Woojin who broke the silence.
There is so much emotion in him he feels like he is at the edge of breaking. He knew this day had to come, but he didn’t know it will hurt so much. He thought he was prepared for it, but guess no one is ever truly prepared for change. When he reached the dormitory he can yet call home, everything feels off. He saw Deahwi to his room with a weak smile and drifts himself towards the bathroom. He should wash up and get a good rest and maybe plan something to do tomorrow instead of spending a whole day in mourning. His instincts lead him to follow the dim night light through the living room, and right before he reaches the bathroom, he stopped and turns that doorknob instead.
Sometimes home comes in the form of a person.
Once he was hit by the familiar scent of Youngmin’s room, tears came rolling down his cheeks again. He knelt beside the bed instead of trying to wake the older because he doesn’t know what to say anyway. Which is why he is a little surprised when he lifted his head to a pair of puzzled eyes staring at him. Youngmin is the deepest sleeper he knows, and nothing can wake him up. Literally nothing. Not even when he attempted to jump on him. The memory made him chuckle lightly.
“What are you doing down there, chuckling AND crying at the same time?”
Just like that, the heaviness in Woojin’s heart seems to be a bit more bearable. There are thousands of words he wants to say, but he is oh so tired. It has been a long day. For him, for his fans, for everyone around him. He climbs on the bed and for the first time in a very long time, he allows himself to be the kid who first got himself a place in a dance team in Busan. The kid who asked for 1000 won without even a single thought of returning it. He snuggled into the warm duvet and drooped himself on the older.
“Lim Youngmin, let me sleep here tonight”
“You brat, I’m older! But yes, you are welcome to stay, but please go wash up first. You smell like alcohol.”
“I’m tired… it’s just one night, let me live.”
It is late and he is not stupid enough to waste time on an argument he couldn’t win, so he shuffles to make more room for the younger to lie comfortably and sighs.
“Fine, just this once.”
When he opened his eyes again to the morning light. The first thing he sees is a peacefully sleeping boy with swollen eyes. He wraps his arm loosely around the younger and closed his eyes again.
Breakfast can wait.