Work Text:
“Once Upon a time, there was two idiots, two idiots who saw each other as the others brother. One night the two idiots thought it was wise to roam the woods late at night. Yet the two idiots did not know that the woods was filled with werewolves. The two idiots decided it was necessary to find and capture any woodland creature they would find. Why may you ask? No one really knows why the two idiots would do such a thing, but alas, they were idiots.”
Dude stop calling us idiots.
“Stiles, it’s story time. shut the hell up.”
stupid rude pedowolf.
“As i was saying. The two idiots roamed through the woods, finding it odd they could not find any creatures. As time passed and their journey bringing them closer into the werewolf territory idiot one turned to idiot two and spoke, “we can’t find anything, let’s look even deeper in the woods. Even if we get attacked i know we can totally fight off whatever attacks us. We’re strong and awesome.”
my voice is not that high!
“Idiot two nodded very excitingly, agreeing along with his idiot companion. As their journey brought them into the werewolf territory. Now the wolf territory is something that most people would fear. But of course, the two idiots were filled with glee when they spotted a giant wolf standing a few feet in front of them. When the young yet powerful wolf started to circle his prey, idiot one clapped his hands completely thrilled to see a woodland creature. Idiot two on the other hand put his hands into fist, ready to attack the wolf.”
which one is idiot two?
“You scott. you’re idiot two.”
oh. alright. Hey! That’s not co-
“If i may continue. The young wolf on the other hand was surprised to see the young boy challenging him. How embarrassing the wolf thought. As the wolf prowled closer to the two idiots he was in shock to see the scrawny boy leap in front of him and attack him. As the wolf was getting ready to fight off the human he realized the young human wasn’t fighting him, he was hugging him.”
fucking hate this story.
“the young wolf felt overwhelmed by all the emotions that he was currently experiencing. The human who was snuggling him was not afraid of him. For the first time the young wolf felt a tingling shiver run through his body.”
peter please do not include a sex scene with the children present.
“And because apparently there are small children here that i was not aware of, i will alter the story to a more PG rating. The shiver ran through the young wolfs body, causing the wolf to feel strong love and happiness towards the human he just met. The human felt an odd sensation run through his body as well, feeling the same emotions as the young wolf. The wolf felt the humans arm leave his body and whined, causing the young human boy to pet the wolf's fur. Before the boys could do anything else he watched how the wolf turned into a man. The young human boy gasped along with his idiot companion. ‘dude! you were a wolf and now you are a dude!’”
i’m going to stab you!
“The now turned human glared at the two idiots and growled at them. he pointed at idiot two and snarled, “you, leave now. we be best friends later. i want to be with this idiot. for i think i love him and I will claim him and moun-”
PETER!
“I might love him and take him out to a respectable place so we can hold hands and kiss.’ The wolf watched how idiot two ran leaving his idiot companion behind.”
i didn't leave Stiles! i was looking for my inhaler!!
“The idiot laid his eyes on the now human man in front of him “i love you too. let’s get married and leave this town, adopt four teenage werewolves, a kitsune and a banshee and mooch off your rich handsome uncle! Lets fu-”
“Thank you Mr. Hale for that lovely story!”
how about we grab a drink sheriff?
PETER!