Work Text:
I pulled my hood over my head, hoping my black sweater would be unrecognizable in the darkness. It was the night, the night where I’d finally be happy again, finally be able to endure something rather than whatever I was feeling at a constant. It’s what needs to happen; I can’t keep going on like this.
The cold air was biting into my skin. I pushed my shoulders up, stuffing my hands into my pockets. I was fully aware that I looked like I could be going to rob someone’s house right now, but it only took a couple of minutes of walking before I was at the bridge. I towered over the edge, staring emotionlessly into the rippling water. How peaceful was it down there? Very, I assumed.
My eyesight only went so far, so when there was suddenly a figure beside me, I jumped, turning to look at them in surprise.
“Hello,” they whispered almost silently. Their hood left barely a recognizable face in the blackness. I studied them for a moment, my drooping eyes casting over them. I was too exhausted to hold my eyelids up all the way. I wondered why they were here and decided they were probably here with the same fate as myself.
When I didn’t reply, they looked down into the water below us, hands resting on the railway. We stood there silently before I spoke, “Are you here to jump?” They turned to me, surprised either from my overall speaking or from my choice of words.
They hung their head, still resting on the railway, “Yeah,” they answered in the same small voice as before, as if I’d hurt them or make them feel bad for it. They looked up at me before pulling their hood down from their head, switching from their hands on the railing to their elbows. “Do you wonder what it’ll be like?”
I looked up at them through dimmed eyelashes, “Do you want me to be honest?” They nodded. “I think it’ll be nothing. It physically hurts my brain to think about, but it’ll be like before we were born. Just... nothing. Blackness, contentment.” I paused. “Basically everything I ever wanted,” I said sarcastically, causing them to chuckle.
“No, but at least it’ll be better than this.” They gestured to the world around us, their voice finally increasing in volume. I nodded in agreement and pulled my hood back, enjoying the feeling of the draft running across my skin. We stood silently in place for a moment, listening to the water running efficiently and crashing into rocks that invaded its path.
“Ya know, they say it gets better,” I said, leaning my back against the railing, hands in my pockets. I looked up to the sky, admiring the beauty of the stars for the last time.
He scoffed, “It’s been 12 years and everyone who’s ever told me that is either dead or has nothing to do with me anymore,” they rose and forced their arms up into the sky, “I think it’s a sign from the universe!” They said and we laughed.
“Yeah, I understand that,” I said, “I think the universe has been trying to get rid of me for a long time.” It was silent for a moment.
“If you have even a sliver of hope that things will get better, you should go home, ‘cause you can’t be here if you haven’t exhausted every other option.”
Although I took his words into consideration, I had made this decision long ago. I wasn’t meant to be here anymore. Nonetheless, I repeated it back to them in the hope that maybe they’d change their mind because the world didn’t need two people to die tonight in this river. “The same goes for you. Take the time to leave before shit gets ugly.” They chuckled, shaking their head before standing up and straightening their back. They took a deep breath before looking over at me, their dull eyes a mirror to my own.
“Ready?” I asked gently. They nodded and lowered their head briefly. I cautiously approached them, wary as to cause fright. Tear-filled eyes looked up at me and provided me with the confirmation I needed. I carefully wrapped my arms around them, acting as though they were fragile glass before I tightened my grip. Their arms reached up and wrapped around me, and we shared a hug that would’ve been beautiful if it was anything but our final hug; our final exchange with humanity and our final goodbye to the world.
We pulled away and I softly adjusted the short hair out of their crying eyes. I was first to grab the railing and I pulled myself over to sit on it, feet dangling off the edge. They copied my movements and looked down calmly at the river. We were finally going to be at peace. I put my hand on top of theirs, however still holding onto the railing in case we fell too soon.
They looked up at me, a comfort filling their eyes, “I’m Ethan.”
“I’m Y/n.”
We withdrew our hands from the railing, gripping each other's tightly before pushing off and falling through the world, hands forever interlocked. Although I’d only known Ethan for merely minutes, I hoped that we’d encounter each other again in the nothingness.