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"On days when everything seems like it's over, remember my voice. It's all right, everything will be okay. You're the most precious person to me. I'll be on your side. I'll say it will be all right. That everything will be okay, that you will shine. That you're precious to me."
Namjoon watched how Jimin devours his food in anticipation as if he's been watching an eating competition. His lips slightly parted and he almost drools his own saliva. The kalguksu looks really delicious and the way Jimin's slurping the noodle sounded like a beautiful song to his ears. Namjoon takes another gulp.
It's summer and it will be weird for you to eat kalguksu because of the spiciness. But Jimin had been craving the noodle since last weekend. Thus, Seokjin took his time to cook for the omega when they had a break from their hectic schedules.
Namjoon sighed and averted his eyes to his plate. Seokjin had cooked the simple beef stew with kimchi and omelet. Everyone else was eating the same meals except Jimin. Eventhough Namjoon had the urged to have the kalguksu, but he kept it to himself.
Everyone was tired. The non-stop activities they had for three weeks had taken a toll over their bodies. There's no wonder after their performance last night, they felt lethargic and almost collapsed when their heads touched the comfy pillows.
This morning, Seokjin gets up so early to fulfill Jimin's request. Seeing how tired and sleepy Seokjin this morning, Namjoon didn't have the gut to ask the alpha to cook for him too. To prepare a single portion of kalguksu is time-consuming and lots of handy works. Namjoon didn't want to make the alpha feels irritated at him like before.
After the harrowing situation last couple months, Namjoon had been taken a more cautious step in dealing with his pack. Not that he didn't forgive them yet, but he just afraid to get hurt again. He was grateful that his members had treated him well since the confrontation. He couldn't ask for more than that.
But, the kalguksu was really tempting. He couldn't stop himself from staring, licking his lips, almost drooling. He didn't realize that Yoongi had been watching his antics silently.
"Joon-ah..."
Namjoon flinched when Yoongi puts his hand on top of his.
"Why didn't you eat the food?" the rapper asked him. His voice was so tender that it's doesn't sound like Min Yoongi at all.
Namjoon's mouth gaped at the question, wanted to say something right away but he stops himself before he was able to spill what's in his mind. He dangled down his head to see at his almost untouched food before he whinges back to look at his alpha.
"Sorry, hyung. I was thinking about our new album..." said Namjoon, obviously lying. He pretends to poke on his food and when he notices Yoongi's still watching, he slowly feeds himself the plain rice. It tastes so bland and a sudden rush to vomit fills-in inside his mouth.
Yoongi sighed at the answer but he didn't want to provoke the omega. Despite he and Namjoon had a long conversation about the feud and the omega finally had forgiven him - Yoongi still didn't feel good about their relationship.
Everyone was a little bit concerned about how the omega had slightly changed. When they tried to mend the broken bond, they still couldn't make the guilt to fully disappeared. Especially when Namjoon always hesitant to join them whenever they were assembled together.
Jimin or Hoseok need to constantly call him to have the meals together. If they didn't do that, Namjoon will stay in his room - alone. After everyone had finished the meals then Namjoon will go out of his room. It's awkward for him to sit at the dining table with everyone, after not doing so for a while.
At night when it's the time for them to sleep, Yoongi and Seokjin need to drag him to the nest. Namjoon was still not comfortable to be in the nest together with his pack. The overwhelming feeling was too much for him. Yoongi needs to hold him tight before the omega was able to go to sleep. And sometime Namjoon will end up having a nightmare and run to his own room - sleeping alone on his bed.
It's a painful sight for the rest of BTS. To see how their precious leader became so distance and anxious. They didn't expect the emotional hurt was too deep and Namjoon's heart was wounded horribly. They know they had committed a terrible mistake but they were trying their best to win back their leader's heart.
It might take some time before they can earn back the omega's trust. They had learned their lesson in the hardest way. And they wished they could turn back the time, reset everything and lives happily together like before.
"Do you want to eat something, Joon? I can cook for you..." Seokjin said after the long silence.
Namjoon lifted his head and his gaze fell on Seokjin in front of him. Namjoon lips parted as if he wanted to ask the elder to cook him the kalguksu but he immediately retreated when he notice the tired face of the alpha.
Namjoon shook his head slowly. "It's okay hyung. I'll eat anything you cook for us..." he said as he widely smiles, reaching up to his eyes.
Seokjin stares at how Namjoon's eyes turn to a crescent moon shape. He didn't know why, but he can feel that the omega wasn't being honest. He can see the awkward smile and how he hastily dragged his eyes to other places but Seokjin. Obviously, he was avoiding his gaze.
Seokjin's heart sunk at the thought that he is the reason why the omega acted that way. Namjoon was hurting so much that he was afraid to be open with his pack. Seokjin didn't know this is the consequences for everyone to pay after what they had done to the omega.
"But you can request something, Joon. Don't you have anything that you've been craving since you got pregnant? I'm happy to cook for you, " gushes Seokjin - to show that he really meant what he said. He wanted to feed the omega everything he wanted, pampering him with all love he's deserved. Like what they did to Jimin.
Namjoon wiggle his head again. "No, hyung. Actually, Yoongi had bought me the coconut ice cream before and I don't crave for anything right now..." he answered half true and half lies.
The ice cream delivery was unexpected and he pounced over his alpha - hogging the small alpha and bouncing a little bit out of joy. He numerously said 'thanks' to Yoongi as he devours almost half of the ice cream tube - before Seokjin need to stop him. And he ends up having the worst morning sickness ever the next day, throwing up until his whole body feels sore.
Namjoon was grateful for what's Yoongi had done for him. It was so nice of him and Namjoon couldn't ask for more. Not that he didn't want the alpha to cajole him with all the craves, but Namjoon had told himself to be more subtle and understanding.
He didn't want to trouble anyone in the pack. He was able to do everything by himself. Moreover, he had learned not to be demanding against someone else - especially his pack.
"Do you want to share my kalguksu then, Joonie?" Jimin interrupts the conversation, looking at the fellow omega with his cute and innocent smile.
Namjoon was taken aback at the offer. He inhaled a deep breath thinking about the delicious kalguksu but later decided to decline the offer. "It's okay, Jiminie..." he says. Jimin needs it more than he does.
Jimin pouted. He wanted to share his food with Namjoon. He notices how Namjoon has been staring at the noodle just now and he feels terrible for not being considerate about Namjoon's feeling. He's pregnant with his first child too so he might have the same craves as he is.
But to think that Namjoon never requested anything from Seokjin or to any other members - it's quiet hurts. He wished Namjoon will be more vocal about his feeling. Everyone wants to pamper the tall omega too. But they know it is hard to approach Namjoon these days. Not after the incident.
"Are you sure Joon?" asked Yoongi when he saw his mate starts to drift apart again.
Namjoon tilted his head to his side and curled into a smile at his alpha. To assure the elder that he really been honest. Well, half-heartedly. He makes a mental note to himself that he will sneak out later to have the kalguksu at a restaurant nearby. Hoping the taste will be the same as Seokjin's cook.
Namjoon stares at the cute baby shoes with admiration. It makes him feeling enthusiast to buy one for his future baby. Well, maybe two or three pairs. He giggled to himself at his thought, knowing that he just being overly excited to shop for his baby.
Namjoon cocked his head when he heard a burst of laughter at the corner of the shop. He flashed a smile when he saw how Taehyung and Jimin were happily looking at the cute and tiny baby's clothes. How Taehyung looks excited picking up various color and designs of the onesies. More than Jimin himself.
This was the last shopping spree before Jimin's due in a couple of weeks. Actually, they had bought all the necessity as the preparation to welcome the baby. But Taehyung and Jimin wanted to come again here, afraid that there's something missing. Which Namjoon doubted there was. Maybe they just want to spend their free time being together. Or maybe it's a stress reliever after their busy schedules. He wasn't sure about it too.
"Have you pick anything you like?"
Namjoon's flinched when he heard the soft voice. His body tensed when an arm snakes around on his shoulder. Without looking, Namjoon can smell the scent of his alpha. A fresh wave of mints.
"I - I had one in my mind..." he said nervously before he takes a pair of brown shoes. He looks at the tiny shoes in his hand with jovial.
Yoongi watched how Namjoon's face beamed while he looks at the baby shoes with admiration. His lips moved upwards to see the happy face of his omega. "You can take as many as you want, Joon. I'll pay for that..." Yoongi notes seriously.
Namjoon turned to see his alpha and slowly shake his head. "One - one is enough..." he said softly.
Yoongi frowned. "I don't think you had bought enough for the baby, Joon..." mentioned Yoongi. He was a little bit concerned on how Namjoon being holding himself too much.
When Taehyung and Jimin were happy spending their money for their baby - buying everything they want even though they know they already had one of the items with a different color; but who cares. They just want to enjoy their parenthood moment freely.
"It's okay, hyung. Besides, I'm still far from the delivery dates. We need to focus more on Jimin..." answered Namjoon. And Namjoon startled when he heard the long and deep breath exhaled by Yoongi. His heart hammering when Yoongi pulled away from his hand on Namjoon's shoulder.
Yoongi feels disappointed. Not at Namjoon but to himself. He still failed to make his omega feel secured around him. Namjoon's refusal on everything he wanted to give to him had made his heart ache. As much as he wanted to spend his love and money for his mate, he can't do it because Namjoon won't let him.
"How can I heal the wound, Joon?" Yoongi asked in exasperated emotion.
Namjoon was surprised at the sudden question, looking at Yoongi bewildered. "Wh-what do you mean, hyung?" he stutters.
Yoongi stares at Namjoon before he grabbed one of Namjoon's hand and he placed his other hand on Namjoon's clothed chest. Near to his heart. "This..." he said with a sad tone. "This heart. How can I heal this broken heart?" he explained as his eyes glaze with tears.
Namjoon bites his lips as he hung low his head - refuse to see Yoongi. He was flustered when he saw the tears in Yoongi's eyes. He was sad that he's the reason behind those tears. His heart clenched at the thought.
"Joon-ah..."
Namjoon lips quiver, trying not to cry in front of Yoongi. He had shed so many tears before and he didn't want to let himself been engulfed with the same emotion again. It still hurts to even remember those painful memories.
"What should I do so you can be happy again?" Yoongi asked when the omega remained in silence.
A drop of tears spills on Yoongi's hand that still pressed to his chest. Yoongi immediately gasped. "Joon, I didn't mean to -"
Namjoon shook his head and wiped his tears roughly. He then forced himself to smile at his alpha, making Yoongi frown at his reaction.
"I'm - I'm happy hyung..." said Namjoon with a shaken voice.
"Joon, please -"
"Hyung, I'm happy..." stressed Namjoon.
There's the lie again but Yoongi didn't want to argue with Namjoon. The omega almost having a breakdown and those sad tears on his face had makes his heart to feel guilty again. He interlaced their fingers together, giving a small peck on Namjoon's wet face.
"I'll pay for the shoes. Let's go..." Yoongi says and he dragged Namjoon together with him to the counter.
Namjoon didn't have the time to argue. He didn't even want to, especially when Yoongi was adamant to pay for the shoes. He feels a little bit uncomfortable that the alpha had been paying everything for him. He knows Yoongi was trying to redeem himself but Namjoon didn't ask the rapper to be so harsh to himself.
He had forgiven all his members. He wants to tell everyone that he didn't hold any grudge whatsoever towards them. Seeing how everyone was treating him good - too good actually, Namjoon was in awry. He didn't ask for the members to give him the special treatment. He just wants everyone to treat him like they used to do.
With all the attention on him, Namjoon feels his anxiety spiking up. He feels that everyone was watching him - every single move and words. It makes him be more cautious. It makes him afraid that he might have done something that will make his members be mad again. He didn't want to get through the horrendous situation again.
"What did you buy for your baby, hyung?"
All the chattering stopped instantly and the living room became oddly quiet. Everyone was so happy discussing their shopped items, displaying for everyone to see. Jimin and Taehyung excitedly show their baby's needs, squealing at how cute they were.
Namjoon was fidgeting on his seat, meanwhile, Yoongi clasped their hands together. His thumb brushing on the knuckles softly and Namjoon smile at the small gestures.
Namjoon then looked at Jimin who was sitting on the floor; in front of him. "A pair of shoes..." he answered the omega's question just now.
Jimin bats his eyelashes, gawking at Namjoon incredulously. And Jimin can feel everyone had the same expression as he is when they heard the answer. "Only shoes?" he asked again for confirmation.
Namjoon chuckles nervously before he nods his head. "Yeah..."
"You didn't buy anything else? You should have the checklist, hyung. I mean, the blanket, the pillows, bottles, and pacifier? At least you need to purchase or prepare one of the basic needs for the newborn," Taehyung asked with a shocked expression.
Namjoon touched his big belly, moving his hand in a circle with a smile. "I - I don't think I need that any time soon...Well, I'm just five months..."
"But at least you need to buy something, hyung. It's advisable for us to prepare for their needs earlier..." explained Jimin further. He kind of worried that Namjoon being laid back about it and last-minute preparation is not advisable.
Namjoon ruffled the hair of the omega fondly. "It's okay. Your due just around the corner so we need to focus on you first..."
Jimin's heart immediately sunk at the statement. He feels terrible that he had stolen all the attention. Namjoon deserved the same love as he is. And to see how Namjoon seems to be fine with that, Jimin couldn't hide his frustration.
"You should buy something for yourself too, " he murmured.
"Yoongi-hyung need to buy that for you but he's being so cheapskate!" claimed Taehyung, pouting a little bit. He glared at the alpha with annoyance.
Yoongi was surprised at the sudden attack and he can see how his members were looking at him with an angry expression. He clicked his tongue at their exaggerated expression. "What?" he asked in a gruff voice.
"You should buy the clothes for your baby, Yoongi! It's your duty as the father..." Seokjin who was seating on their said with a stoic expression.
Yoongi rolled his eyes. "Why are you targeting me? Namjoon didn't want me to spend anything..." he defended himself.
Everyone turns their head almost simultaneously to the leader. As if they didn't believe what had Yoongi told them just now. They wanted to hear it from Namjoon himself.
Namjoon clutched his fist over the hem of his hoodie. With everyone's attention on him, he feels so anxious that his legs were shaking. Namjoon flinched when Yoongi put his hand on his thigh.
"Baby?"
Namjoon bites his lips. "Yeah - yeah, I - I had asked Yoongi not to buy me anything..." his eyes quivered around the living room but avoided the stares from his members. "I still have plenty of time to do it later. We - we need to focus more on Jimin, right?" he continues nervously. This time he took a little bit of courage to look at his members and shuddered when he meets with their glares.
"Hyung - why?" Jimin asked warily. He moved closer to the omega holding his shaking hands. "I'm not the only one pregnant here. You deserved the same attention as me, hyung. It's not a problem if you doing some shopping for your baby. I won't be mad if you did that. In fact, no one will get mad at you if you buy something though..." he says with his soft and tender voice.
Namjoon's head hung low to the floor, fidgeting on the couch. "So - sorry..." he said nervously as he thought Jimin wasn't happy with his attitude.
Jimin frowned and he can see the others had the same reaction as he is. "For what hyung? What are you sorry for?" he asked with curiosity.
Namjoon exhaled his breath slowly. "I - I didn't mean to upset all of you..."
"Oh God, Joon!"
Namjoon's body stiffens at the gruff voice, eyes drifted to Seokjin who looks really frustrated at him right now. Namjoon's lips trembled and his eyes start to glaze with tears. He didn't have any intention to make the pack's leader be angry at him. He had made the pack disappointed at him again.
"When will you stop thinking about the others more than yourself?" shoot Seokjin sternly. "We didn't want you to - Joon? Hey??"
Seokjin was surprised when he saw the droplet of tears on Namjoon's face and everyone becomes alarmed at the situation. Yoongi immediately pulled his omega into a hug where Namjoon buried his face on his shoulder blade. The warm tears soaking wet his shirt. Yoongi glanced over Seokjin and his other members in turns.
"I - I didn't mean to make him cry, " mentions Seokjin in devastation.
No one blamed Seokjin though. They just know that Namjoon was being so sensitive. Either it's his hormone or he was still traumatized about the incident. They were still on the phase of fixing everything. And throughout the process, someone might get hurt again. As for now, Namjoon's the most.
"Joonie-baby, please... I didn't mean to scold you. I'm just frustrated at myself for unable to give the comfort you needed as part of the pack. We had failed to give you the home that you dream of. As the pack leader, I feel useless for failing you and everyone else..."
Seokjin's confession makes the air in the living room become deadly silence. The only thing they can hear was everyone heavy breath and Namjoon sniffles.
"We break your heart numerous time and we still doing it till now without even realizing it," says Seokjin. His voice was so strained, agonizing his emotion as the alpha and as the pack's leader.
Namjoon moves a little bit, making his body slightly parted with Yoongi. He cocked his head to the handsome alpha, looking at Seokjin through his wet eyelashes.
"B-but I'd forgiven all of you..." says Namjoon honestly. His eyes stare at each of his members and they were having the same expression as Seokjin.
Seokjin weakly shook his head. "Forgiven but not forgotten, Joon, " he notes pensively.
Namjoon hung low his head, not even trying to deny Seokjin's words. Maybe it is true that he never forgets of how's the pack had treated him. The wound may be healed through time but the scar will be permanent. Forever. And it's horrendous to think that he might not be able to forget about that at all.
"We want you to feel at ease with us, Joon. We want you to feel the same when you first joined the pack. When you feel loved by everyone. And till today, our love to you still the same. You always be our precious omega. No one can ever replace you in this pack, " resume Seokjin.
They have been talking about the same things that night. However, it wasn't sufficient enough to make everything back to its place. Namjoon's heart still hurting and everyone was being extra careful not to hurt the omega. Maybe that's the reason why Namjoon was being cautious among the members all this while.
"For all the bad things we'd done and said to you, we can't take it back as much as we wanted to. It will remain as our biggest sin to you. We can't ask you to forget but at least - at least let us redeem ourselves, Joonie..." notes Seokjin with a dejected emotion.
Namjoon lips tremble as he's on the verge of crying again. His eyes already bloodshot and his keeps wiping off his snot with his sleeves. He's trying not to show his weaker side in front of his pack. He didn't want them to see how fragile he was as the omega.
But he couldn't help from crying after he heard Seokjin's speech. He can feel the genuine feeling behind those words. The honesty, the remorseful, the love and the hope. And for all those mixtures of emotions, Namjoon feels guilty for hurting his pack while he was trying to heal his own heart.
The droplet of tears soaking his shirt and when Yoongi snakes his arm around his shoulder, Namjoon leaned towards his alpha for emotions and physical support.
"I'm sorry - I'm sorry for making you feel like that hyung..." he said while sobbing.
Seokjin didn't expect to hear the apology after his long speech. He didn't want Namjoon to apologize. He shouldn't be doing that. "No, Joonie. Don't apologize to me and to us anymore. None of this is your fault!" he immediately denying Namjoon's statement.
Namjoon wiggle his head. "No hyung. Partly - partly this is my fault too. I'm too immersed with my own pain that I ignored everyone's feeling. I dismiss the fact that everyone was hurting too." He speaks truthfully.
Seokjin let out deep and heavy breathing at the words, looking at his omega with a fond gaze. Namjoon always being selfless towards everyone. That's the reason why he considered Namjoon was fit perfectly in BTS. He was easy to love and to be loved. He's the perfect omega for BTS.
When he decided to ask Namjoon to be part of the BTS pack, the rest were so happy with his decision. They've always thought that Namjoon will complete the missing pieces in BTS. They want Namjoon to be part of them as their omega, not only as of the leader of the band.
To say no pack was going to court Namjoon was an understatement. It's absurd for someone not to fall in love with Namjoon. He's beautiful and delicate. Despite his alpha-like appearance, Namjoon had all the traits as a perfect omega. There's nothing less in him to be compared with Jimin. They were both equally gorgeous and endearing.
Before Namjoon joined the BTS pack, everyone knows how GOT7 and EXO had been eyeing on Namjoon as potential omega. They were always restless when Jackson or Suho came to see Namjoon at the backstage, treating Namjoon so nice and lovingly.
They can see the intention of the two alphas. Jackson had been really frank about his intention to court Namjoon to join GOT7. Jackson had personally asked Seokjin one day - whether Namjoon is part of BTS pack. And when Seokjin asks the reason for his question, Jackson immediately said that he wants Namjoon to be part of GOT7. It was the first blow to Seokjin as the leader of the pack.
It was the first time Seokjin had to lost his composure as the pack's leader. And when Suho came on the next day asking him with the same question, Seokjin realized he needs to do something. That's why after consulting with everyone in his pack, Seokjin had officially asked Namjoon to join BTS as their omega. That was the happiest moment for everyone.
"We love you, Joon."
Seokjin snapped from his own reverie and saw how Hoseok had been kneeling beside Jimin, facing the crying Namjoon. Then one by one of his pack crouching in front of the omega, repeating the same words to Namjoon. Namjoon continues to cry until his whole body is trembling.
"Don't cry, please. We want to make you smile but always end up makes you cry, " pouted Jungkook. His eyes were glazed with tears too like the others. Feels the same pain as the omega.
"So - sorry, I can't st - stop the tears..." speaks Namjoon with a croaking voice. "Not - not that I'm sad. I'm ha - happy that all of you still love me despite my weaknesses..." he mentioned in between of his sobs.
"Hyung..." Jimin whined as he sniffs. His face had turned to red after so much crying. He can feel the emotional pain suffered by Namjoon. He stretched his hand forward, touching Namjoon's wet face and wiped the tears on his face. "Please, stop crying..." he said sadly.
And it's natural when someone asked you not to cry, you'll cry even harder. The same things happen to Namjoon too. He hides his face with one of his hand, as his silence cry turns to a vocal one. "Sorry! Sorry, I try to stop -"
Namjoon yelped when his pack pounced over him and hugged him from all directions. But of course, they were trying to be really careful not to squish his big bump, harming the baby.
"Joonie/Hyung!!"
And Namjoon's body jerked as he continues to cry out loud while the others trying to comfort him. He keeps chanting his apology but he continues to cry because of the overwhelming feeling he had right now.
Yoongi placed feather-light kisses over his shoulder. Jimin keeps on kissing Namjoon's hand; the back of his hand and the palm. Seokjin sits beside Namjoon and kissed on the side of his head before pulling his head to rest on his shoulder.
Jungkook pecked on Namjoon's soaking wet cheek before littering soft kisses up to his jawline. Taehyung planted a quick kiss over his plump lips, taking turns with Hoseok until Namjoon's crying died down slowly.
"So - sorry - " Namjoon starts to having a hiccup. "I - I didn't - " another hiccup. "Mean - mean to cry -" another hiccup. "So - sorry -" he keeps chanting his apology, didn't want his to misunderstand that he was crying because he's mad at them. It's a happy tear. He was so happy that his members still love him as the first time he joined them as part of BTS pack.
"It's okay baby. We understand. We are sorry for making you sad. Don't worry, we're not mad at you..." coaxed Yoongi softly and gives Namjoon's shoulder another kiss.
"We're going to give you lots of love until you forget that we used to hurt you. Lots - lots of love that you deserved, Joonie-hyung!" exclaimed Jungkook as he spreads his two arms widely.
Namjoon let out a soft giggle in between of his hiccups. He touched Jungkook's silky hair and starts to ruffles it until its get messy. The baby alpha grinned at him happily. He quickly grabbed Namjoon's hand and kissed the knuckles for a few times.
Namjoon smiles at the gestures before he averted his hazelnut eyes towards his members one by one. He looks at them lovingly, flashing a genuine smile of happiness as they replied the same.
Namjoon took a deep breath before he speaks his mind. "I love you all. And - and let's be happy together..."
Everyone nods their head solemnly at the words, feeling the joy that Namjoon looks so calm and serene. It's the first time after a few months that their heart feels at ease and they know everything is going to be just fine.
The journey to mend their broken heart may not be as easy as their thought. It will take some time and lots of effort too. But they are willing to face the incoming hardship. As long as they have each other, they can overcome all the hurdles in life.
They can't make a solid promise that there will be no pain in the future. There will be another argument, another broken heart but that's the part of living. They were just human being and will continue to make mistakes. What they can do was to learn from it and makes everything right again.
They'll walk through this path, hand to hand with everyone. They will not let anyone to glorify their mendacity. They will keep trusting each other through thick and thin. They might go a little bit astray but for how far they were going, they will always come back here - the place where they belong; the BTS pack.
"𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗘𝗡𝗗"