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"oh, you're here?" i asked obviously startled upon seeing you, because it had been raining non stop since yesterday.
"yeah, i've been waiting you know." you said with a small smile, the smile that made me smile.
that was the first time. the first time someone had waited for me.
"i love you." i whispered softly as you had your head on my shoulder.
"i love you too." you mumbled groggily, but me, i was wide awake and flustered because i thought you had been deep asleep. so unconsciously, i held my breath, but you snuggled closer to me.
another first time. the first time someone confessed their love for me, to me.
"i'm home!" i said as i took off my shoes before closing the door when you came to greet me in the hallway with a kiss on my forehead.
"i missed you." you pouted as you hugged me, i laughed.
"please, i was gone for less than four hours." i said as i hugged your torso.
"four long hours yeah." you laughed while looking at me.
again, another first time. the first time someone told me they missed me.
first time. woojin, you were a lot of my first times. so thank you. even if i wasn't any of your first times, thank you.
i was so sure you were the one. yet here i am, watching you leave me. in the same setting you first confessed to me. but this time, it's a rainy night, where i watch your back become more blurry. i don't know if it's because of the rain on the window or because of the salty tears in my eyes.
you're the one.
is what i used to think. and i still think you are. but sometimes, things aren't meant to stay. even if you are the one for me, you might be the one for someone else now.
i used to be your home. well, i like to think i was. i never asked if you thought of me as your home. the place where you felt safe. where you could go back to anytime. no matter what.
you were my home, though. i still would like to call you my home. but i don't know if you would like that. i don't know if you still want to be my home. do you still want to be my home?
you were beautiful. but you were a pain as well. all the days. all the days where i was hurt, because of you. but also, all the days where i was healed because of you.
maybe it was all a dream. it seemed to perfect to be true anyways. i hope it was a dream. that would hurt less, right?
it feels like forever. like i have been standing here forever. watching you go, in the cold rain. leaving me. and everything we build, in those beautiful years. i hope they were beautiful to you too. they were, right?
you were the best part of my life. but even the best things aren't meant to be forever. nonetheless, i'll always be by your side. i'll dream for you. you will dream for me too, right?
right?
"oh, you're here?". you asked me with raised eyebrows.
'yeah, you're shocked right?' was what i wanted to say.
"yeah, i've been waiting you know." i said as i smiled at you. your eyes smiling with your lips.
that was the last time. the last time i waited for someone.
"i love you." you whispered softly into my hair as i leaned my head onto your small shoulder. i smiled.
"i love you too." i said while trying to sound as sleepy as possible. i felt you holding your breath, you're not slick you know? so i snuggled closer to you.
another last time. the last time i confessed my love for someone, to someone.
as soon as i heard the door open i sprinted there, all the way from the kitchen to see your face.
hearing you say "i'm home!" made me run even faster, i almost fell but you didn't hear that, luckily. i ran to you with open arms, ready to kiss your soft forehead.
"i missed you." is what i told you. but in reality, i had been longing for your soft touch. from the moment you got out of bed until the moment my fingertips touched your arms.
again, another last time. the last time i told someone i missed them.
last time. you were all of my last times. and i don't regret you being all of them. thank you, for being all of my last times.
you are the one for me.
even when i'm leaving you like this. in the storm, that reflects how i'm feeling. leaving you like this, without any explanations. without any answers to all of your questions. that is, if you have any questions. thank you, for letting me leave you quietly.
you were my home. you still are my home, if you'd like to be. because i would like that. but you can't. thank you, though. for being my home.
i'm sorry. sorry for hurting you, all those days, weeks. for leaving you alone during all those hard times. when you needed me the most. but thank you, for letting me make you smile.
you were like a fantasy. you still are a fantasy. an unrealistic fantasy that i don't deserve. but thank you. for even being my fantasy.
i don't know if you have noticed. if you noticed that i'm not moving. i haven't been moving for forever. that's what it feels like. forever. just like the moments i spent with you. thank you, for making time slow down whenever i was with you.
i can't say if you were the best part of my life, yet. but you were the last part. you were the last part. the last part of this beautiful movie. the unrealistic movie.
thank you daehwi, for being the last.