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“What’s this?” Bin asked, pointing at the television.
Myungjun looked up from the bed where he was reading a book Bin had bought for him. He narrowed his eyes at the small television, then asked, “The roller coaster?”
Bin searched his database. “An amusement ride that has tracks and a cart. Is that a roller coaster?”
“Yeah. Why do you want to know?”
“I’ve never seen one before,” Bin admitted, watching as the couple on television rode the roller coaster. It went up and down. Wind blew through their hair. The girl laughed and the boy screamed. At the end of the ride, they were smiling. The girl hugged the boy and the boy kissed her nose.
Bin wanted to do that.
“They’re fun,” Myungjun commented. He folded a page down in his book and set it aside before straightening up. “My first date with Jinwoo was to the amusement park and we rode roller coasters there. He likes the thrill and I like being up high.”
“It does look very high,” Bin replied. “I would like to go on a roller coaster one day.” He smiled happily and faced Myungjun, turning his attention away from the television. “When I am allowed to release you, may I take you to the amusement park? We can go on a date, like you and Jinwoo do.”
Myungjun sighed. He didn’t look happy. It confused Bin. Bin had given him more freedom; he never bound Myungjun to his chair, he bought him new clothes and he supplied him with food and entertainment. There was no reason for Myungjun to be unhappy. Couples weren’t supposed to be unhappy, from what Bin had seen on the television.
“I’m dating Jinwoo ,” Myungjun told him. “Not you. Just Jinwoo.”
“Can you date me, as well?”
Myungjun snorted. He scooted to the foot of the bed and swung his legs over the side. “You don’t know much about dating, do you?”
Bin shook his head. “I was not made to date. I was made to serve.”
“Well, most people only date one person. I think there are people who date multiple people at once, but I’m not one of those. I date Jinwoo, and that’s it.”
Bin had never met Jinwoo. He didn’t like Jinwoo, though. An unpleasant emotion gathered within him and he asked, “Why would you date Jinwoo and not me?”
Myungjun rolled his eyes. “Because I love Jinwoo. I don’t love you.”
Such a remark hurt to hear. Bin didn’t like feeling hurt. Somehow, it was worse than the physical pain his creators had put him through. “But I love you,” he countered, offering Myungjun a small smile. “Is it okay for me to love you?”
“You kidnapped me,” Myungjun said. “Kidnappers don’t love their hostages.”
“But I love you,” Bin repeated.
Myungjun had rejected his love. Myungjun had even denied Bin’s emotions, claiming you don’t understand love . But Bin thought he understood it. When he watched his television dramas, he decided he knew what love was. Being in love was happiness, and Myungjun made Bin happy.
“Why do you love me?” Myungjun asked him, cocking his head and brimming with an expression Bin knew as curious . “What have I done to make you love me?”
It was a difficult question. Bin struggled to think of an answer. His love for Myungjun had come with no warning and no reason. Sanha was more worthy of love; Sanha was kind and was also not being held hostage. Myungjun was mean.
“Because,” Bin said, and he pursed his lips in thought. “You...you are handsome.” He remembered what his television show couple had said when they confessed their love for each other. “And I feel happy when I am near you. You make me happy.”
“Those aren’t good reasons to love someone,” Myungjun said.
What difference was there between Myungjun and Sanha? Why did he like Myungjun in a way he would never like Sanha?
Sanha had been sweet to him. Sanha took him from the confines of the laboratory and showed him the sun. Sanha made sure he wouldn’t face pain and suffering at the hands of his creators.
Sanha, though, had also ordered him to do tasks and had told him to stay in the tiny hotel room with minimum exposure to the outside world.
Sanha treated him like a robot.
Myungjun didn’t know, at first, that Bin was an android. And even now, as he denied Bin had emotions capable of love, he didn’t bring up that Bin was an android. Bin, to him, was a kidnapper. And kidnappers were human.
“You gave me a name,” Bin blurted out. “So I’m more than just an android now. You tell me about things I see on television. You are mean to me because you are held hostage, not because I’m a robot.” He smiled brightly at Myungjun as he finally realized what his answer was. “When you talk to me, I feel like I’m a human.”
“That,” Myungjun said, “has got to be one of the oddest love confessions I’ve ever received.”
Bin lost his smile. Myungjun hadn’t liked his answer. “I apologize. I do not want to upset you.”
“It’s not upsetting. Just weird.” Myungjun sighed and added, “But I still only love Jinwoo.”
“Oh.”
“Nothing against you. I mean, yeah you’re holding me hostage, but you’re nice enough for a kidnapper, I guess. It’s just...Jinwoo’s my boyfriend. He’s the only one I will ever love. No matter what you do, you can’t...you can’t replace Jinwoo.”
Bin wondered what was so special about this Jinwoo character. Surely he wasn’t as impressive as Bin himself was, nor was he as strong or as capable of protecting Myungjun.
However, loving someone meant he would have to accept if they left; television taught him that. He would accept Myungjun loving someone else, then.
“Am I allowed to love you still?” he questioned.
Myungjun pursed his lips in thought. “I’d prefer it if you didn’t,” he muttered. “But if you must, let’s go with a platonic love.”
“Platonic?” He searched his database. “Intimate but not sexual?”
“Or romantic,” Myungjun chimed in. “I don’t want you expressing romantic feelings toward me. But we can be friends.” He leaned closer to Bin and narrowed his eyes. “That means you can’t kiss me on the lips.”
“I...I like to kiss you on the lips.” While he had only kissed Myungjun once, the day Myungjun was in the shower, he decided it was enjoyable and he would want to do it more often.
“Well, don’t. I only want Jinwoo to kiss me on the lips.”
Bin nodded his head and stared at the ground. Shame was the emotion he felt wash over him. He should never have kissed Myungjun in the first place, since Myungjun did not want it.
As if noticing his shame, Myungjun was quick to add, “You can...you can kiss on me the cheeks. Friends, um, friends sometimes will do that.”
Bin perked up immensely. He had never given a cheek kiss before. He had seen it on television, however, though never between two friends.
“Can I do it now?” he asked.
Myungjun stared over at him for a few seconds. His expression was unreadable. Then he nodded, and turned his head to display his cheek.
Myungjun had a plush cheek and tanned skin and Bin thought he looked beautiful. He leaned over and puckered his lips against Myungjun’s cheek.
It only lasted a few seconds, but Myungjun didn’t shove him away this time. The man’s ears were tinted red when Bin drew back, but he said nothing.
“I love you,” Bin exclaimed in the silence. When Myungjun glanced at him, Bin corrected himself. “I love you platonically.”
“That’s fine,” Myungjun responded, and then he smiled.
Regardless of what Myungjun said, Bin did love him; he loved him romantically.