Chapter Text
"Gendry, I'm really not understanding what the problem is?" She was getting annoyed with him and he could feel it. She had only just gotten settled on the couch when Gendry came bursting through her apartment door and stood in front of her, ready to pick a fight.
"You're not understanding what the problem is? Arya, you ran into Melisandre in the street and when she said hello, you told her to go fuck herself. You really can't see what the fuck is wrong with you telling my ex-girlfriend to go fuck herself?" His voice was clipped, and tight with anger and she knew there was something else behind his anger. She just didn't know what it was.
"No, I don't understand what's wrong with it. You're my best friend Gendry, and just a few weeks ago you said you were the happiest you've ever been since breaking up with her a year ago. I don't see what the issue is, she treated you like shit and I didn't like it at all." She really couldn't see what the problem was. Things had been so good in her and Gendry's lives, it seemed like things might actually go somewhere between them. Until this.
"Is that why you told her to go fuck herself?"
"No."
"Then why? Why did you tell her to go fuck herself Arya?"
"Because I can, that's why! I was defending you and our friendship. You broke up with her, I really don't understand why you're getting mad about this!" Her voice was rising and she could tell that whatever he said to her next wasn't going to be said, it was going to be shouted.
"Because we've been talking! We've been working things out! So imagine how much my best friend telling her she can go fuck herself completely derails whatever fucking progress we had been making!"
Arya swears that the moment those words left his mouth, she could feel the air being knocked out of her body. "You've been what?" She'd never felt so betrayed or hurt before in her life up until this very moment.
"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked
"I didn't know how." He answered, not really knowing how to work his way out of this.
She felt like she had been lied to. Lies don't always bother her, everybody had lied to her one way or another, about little things, things that didn't matter. But it wasn't just anybody lying to her. It was Gendry. Maybe that was why it hurt so much.
"Is that- is" She couldn't seem to find her voice in that moment and averts her gaze from his face to his shoes. It'll be easier to speak to him without looking at him.
"Is that why you've been so happy? Is she why you've been so happy?" She asks quietly. She thought she was the reason behind his happiness.
"I'm not sure, but -"
After Gendry and Melisandre broke up, Gendry had done nothing but give Arya his undivided attention. He never told her why he broke up with her and she never pried and he never knew whether to be grateful or disappointed by that. She comforted him although it didn't seem like he needed it much. They had become inseparable always able to read the other like a book, arguing about absolutely everything and nothing at all, and just being there for one another. Arya can't seem to find it in herself to look up, but she sees him move from standing across the room to right in front of her.
"Why didn't you tell me? I thought- you said you wouldn't go back, not after how badly she treated you, treated me." Arya chances a glance at him and can't read his expression as clearly as she could minutes ago.
"Arya, it's not as simple as that-"
"Then what?"
"We ran into each other. We got to catching up and I don't know. Maybe she's not the same person she used to be."
"Do you still love her?" She doesn't know why she's asking him that, it's not like they're together. It's not like Gendry loves her, not in that way at least, not in the way she wants him to, the way it matters. She's just his best friends little sister, she's just his best friend. Why should it matter.
"Not anymore, but I could. We made it work once."
"Gendry, she wanted you to stop being friends with me, anytime we had plans she would magically need you and you'd always pick her over me. You can't seriously seem to think that she's going to be accepting towards me, or the fact that you spend more time at my apartment than you do at your own."
"You were among the many things we discussed, and it's something she can get over." Gendry sat down next to her. He tried to reach out and grab her hand before she stopped him.
"Don't"
"Arya-"
"No, don't touch me." She looked to her left to see his facial expression morph into one of pure hurt and guilt.
"Arya"
"Leave."
"No, we have to talk about this, we have-"
"We already spoke about it, you wanted to know why I told your girlfriend to go fuck herself, you found out, now leave."
Gendry stared at her, clearly refusing to leave Arya's apartment wanting to sort out whatever it was between them. They stared at one another, neither refusing to crack under the others gaze before Arya rolls her eyes, gets up and heads to her room.
Gendry finds himself sinking down into the couch, closing his eyes and releasing a deep sigh. It's not until he hears her bedroom door open again that he opens his eyes again and notices she's wearing actual clothes now instead of pajamas and has her shoes on and a bag in her hand. His eyes widen before he speaks.
"Where are you going?"
"If you won't leave, then I will."
"Seven hells, Arya this is your apartment."
"I'm well aware. And you refuse to leave it. I'm going to stay at Sansa's for the weekend. Stay here or don't, I don't care, just don't be here when I get back."
She didn't even bother hiding the hurt in her voice or the tears that had already started to fall down her cheeks. Oh he hated himself more than ever. How could he make Arya cry? He was who made her feel better after something made her feel bad, he was never what made her feel bad. Not until now.
"Arya, please." He pleaded, he was now standing in front of her.
"I have to go, my cab is outside."
He felt his eyes stinging with tears of his own. He really did it to himself this time.
----
After Gendry broke up with Melisandre, he'd felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest and like he'd broken himself out of some spell he was under.
He went straight to Arya's place afterwards, ready to apologize for how terrible he hadn't realize he'd been. He would always opt for going to the bar with Melisandre with her friends Thoros and Beric and the rest of their brotherhood, instead of his usual game nights that consisted of him, Arya and on occasion, Hot Pie, Sandor and some of her siblings.
He hadn't realized that his entire relationship with Melisandre was built entirely off of lust, and when it came to ever trying to talk to one another about the things that mattered, like his struggle with his parentage, she would silence him with a kiss.
It really started to take a turn for the worse when she threw him a surprise birthday party, and Arya wasn't there. She had invited Jon, Robb, Bran, Rickon, Sansa and even Theon. But no Arya.
"How come Arya isn't here?" He asked, trying to mask his feelings of hurt that his best friend wasn't there for his 27th birthday.
"I could've sworn I invited her. Maybe her invitation got lost in the mail? I don't ever remember getting a message from her saying she would be coming." She scrunched her eyebrows together and then leaned forward and planted a kiss on his lips. "Let's not worry about her," She practically sneered,"It's your birthday, lets go celebrate."
He'd spent the night with a damper on his mood and his anger towards Arya building. How could she not come? It was his birthday for sevens sake.
It wasn't until five Starks and a Greyjoy got him alone in his bedroom did he find out why Arya wasn't there.
"We felt like we should tell you why Arya didn't come-" Jon started, before Gendry cut him off.
"There's no need. She's made it perfectly clear our friendship doesn't mean anything to her. I mean it's my birthday-"
"Gendry she wasn't invited." Sansa cut him off sternly, clearly protective of Arya. "You mean the world to her, she's in shambles that she can't be here."
Gendry felt confusion working its way through his body and it showed clearly on his face. "What? No that can't be right. Mel told me she invited her."
"I'm not so sure how much you trust you girlfriend mate, but she's lying. She didn't invite Arya. Arya didn't even know there was going to be a party for you until she saw the invite on mine and Robb's counter." Theon interjected.
Gendry turned to look at Robb who nodded in confirmation, his face hard but his eyes wildly expressive of the anger he feels for Arya's sake.
"If she found out, then why isn't she here?" He asked.
"She doesn't think you want her here." Jon said bitterly.
"How could she think that?" Gendry asked, his voice rising in anger.
"Melisandre planted a seed in her mind. Told her you didn't want to worry about anybody but you and her during your birthday. At first she didn't believe her, but then she'd try to reach out to you and you'd always be busy with Mel, and then she saw the rest of us getting our invitations and realized she wasn't going to be getting one and she decided it was all the proof she needed that you didn't want her here." Bran explained, sadness etched in his voice at the thought of Arya feeling unwanted.
"Why did you all come then?" He couldn't wrap his brain around it and he was really trying to.
"We weren't going to at first, but she made us. She also made a very good point of all of us also being your friends not just her." Rickon spoke. "We were going to stay with her, we wanted to, she's kind of a wreck. You can't tell her I told you that."
Gendry felt like kicking himself, but even more he felt fury boiling in him. Melisandre didn't invite Arya. Melisandre didn't care about Arya. And he only enabled her.
"We're going to head out soon, but Arya wanted me to give you this." Jon handed him a small bag with a box and card inside. "We'll let you read and open that in private." Jon ushered his siblings and Theon out before closing the door to Gendry's room behind him.
He sat on his bed before opening the card first:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU OLD FART!!!
I can't believe you're 27 years old now, and that I'm lucky enough to have known you for 12 of those 27 years! I'm not good with the sappy stuff you know this, but you're my favorite human and I'm so happy you're my best friend in the entire world. I love you (barf) and I hope this day (and everyday) treats you nothing short of spectacular!! You deserve it, you stupid bull!!
Always yours,
Arya xx.
He felt tears burn his eyes and saw one drop on the corner of the card. He picked up the box and opened it to find a silver chain with a pendant that had a bull and a wolf engraved on it. He didn't even bother trying to stop his tears from falling. It was his birthday, and his best friend wasn't here because she thought he didn't want her. How could he not want her?
That night was enough to do Gendry in and once the party ended, he confronted Melisandre about her exclusion of Arya, and promptly broke up with her.
"Gendry, don't do this. We're so good together!" She pleaded.
"What's my real fathers name?" He asked.
She stood there, quietly.
"Yeah that's what I thought-"
"I can learn, I can listen to you, we can work this out-"
"I don't think we can, Melisandre. Maybe if you'd just hurt me, it would've been fine, sure. But you hurt my best friend. You hurt Arya. And I let you." He paused to steady his breathing. "We're done."
After that night, he hadn't seen her ever again. Up until a few days ago, when he got really hammered at his local pub and she happened to be there. It seemed like a good idea at the time, talking to her. They hadn't done anything, they just spoke and exchanged numbers once more before promptly deciding on getting lunch when they were both sober enough.
That same night, he stumbled into Arya's apartment, drunk and loud, before his eyes adjusted and he saw her and Edric Dayne on her couch watching 'She's just not that into you'. He went straight to the bathroom and threw up, though he had a feeling it had more to do with the Arya and Ned seated on her couch together than with his level of intoxication. He never bothered bringing it up after that and unhappily decided that if Arya wanted to spend her nights with Ned Dayne, he could spend his with Melisandre again. Who knows? he thought Maybe she's changed. He didn't know why it bothered him so much at the time, but after a really shitty hangover, Gendry came to the conclusion that he was undeniably oblivious and absolutely in love with Arya Stark. I'm in love with my best friend. Fucking hell.
In truth, he saw no real change in Melisandre when they had lunch together those two times that they did, he just wanted something to make him forget about Arya laughing with Ned on her couch the way she usually did with him.
He didn't even know why he picked that fight with Arya in the first place. Not only does she want to be with Ned but she doesn't want me to be with anyone he had stupidly thought to himself. He really should have known better. It was Arya. She wanted nothing more in life for Gendry than to call him an idiot every chance she had and for him to be happy. She didn't want to rob him of his happiness. It was just too bad she couldn't see she was his happiness, and all Gendry could think was that Ned Dayne was replacing him.
And now he was sat on her couch, by himself, at 10 in the evening with his eyes red from all the tears he spilled. He didn't bother moving from the couch and had no intention of leaving anytime soon until he heard a knock on Arya's door, so he got up. Who on earth would be visiting her this late that wasn't him? Maybe she came back.
Gendry opened the door. Wishful thinking.
"Alright, so I brought clueless and she's all that, I couldn't deci- oh, hey Gendry!" Ned Dayne stood outside of Arya's apartment, entirely too chipper at this time of night and with a bunch of snacks and two rom coms in his hands.
He hated how much he wanted to punch him.
"Hello Ned."
"Are you going to be joining me and Arya tonight?" Ned asked.
Was he going to be joining them? The question made him sick. He didn't hate how much he did want to punch Edric now.
"No. Arya's not here."
Ned look entirely too confused for his own good "oh, where is she then?"
Just one punch wouldn't do anything bad, right?
"She's at Sansa's. Aren't you the one who's seeing her? Didn't she tell you?"
Ned Dayne stared at Gendry with wide eyes before cracking up in laughter way too loud for 10 pm in a London flat. "Seeing her? Oh man, we're not together mate."
Upon hearing those words leave Ned's mouth, Gendry considers this week to be perhaps one of his most unlucky.
"What? But you guys were together here, the other night, watching movies and acting all cosy!" Gendry spoke, before pulling Ned in and shutting the door.
"That doesn't mean we're seeing each other, Gendry. Jeyne just broke up with me last weekend and Arya has been helping me keep my mind off of it. That includes watching these classics and stuffing our faces with greasey chips and pop. We'd been meaning to invite you, but Arya mentioned all your late night shifts at the shop."
Gendry really could throw himself off of a cliff.
"Oh I'm an idiot."
"Yeah, Arya mentions that a lot." Ned responded, earning him a glare from Gendry.
"I really fucked up big time Ned." Gendry smoothed his hands over his face. Ned looked nervous and unsure.
"What did you do?"
----
After painfully reliving his fight with Arya and explaining in excruciating detail why he even picked the fight to Ned, they were both sat across from one another at her dining table, each in deep thought.
"Okay, so Arya, per usual, is right. You are an idiot."
Gendry grunted but then shrugged and nodded his head in agreement.
"You're both idiots really." Ned said, more to himself than Gendry.
"Whoa whoa whoa. Back up. How on earth is she an idiot?" Gendry found himself getting defensive of Arya.
"You're both so stubborn and so much the same it's terrifying and also makes me want to throw up and die all at once." Ned paused before refilling his glass of water then returning back to the table. "Why don't either or both of you just admit to each other that you're in love with each other already? It's painful, physically painful to hear about the circles you two run around in."
"What are you going on about Dayne? Arya isn't in love with me." Gendry responded, not even bothering to deny he was in love with Arya. He was only mad he hadn't seen it sooner.
"If she wasn't in love with you, why did it hurt her as badly as you say it did while you guys were fighting? If she's not in love with you, then how come anytime we have a conversation together, she somehow finds a way to mention you in what I consider are the cutest ways possible." Ned cut his eyes to look into Gendry's, "She's in love with you, and she's probably only ever said it to herself, but we can all see it."
"What do I do?" Gendry pleaded.
"Fix this."
"What if I can't?"
"You're in love with her, right?" Ned studied Gendry's face.
Gendry nodded "How could I not be? It took me a little longer to realize, but yeah, I'm in love with her, I love her."
"Okay, so since you love her, you'll find a way to fix it. She and I are already watching way too many chick flicks to cure my break up blues, I don't want to make it tenfold by adding your breakup to it."
"We're not together, Ned." Gendry reminded him.
"Not yet." Ned winked. That earned him a small hopeful smile from Gendry. "So you were jealous of me, eh?"
And the smile was gone, scowl back in place. Ned laughed before speaking again.
"Come on, let's get out of her apartment. We've both overstayed our welcome without her here to kick us out."
Gendry nodded and cleaned up before he and Ned left the apartment, making sure to lock it on their way out.
----
Sansa and Margaery weren't entirely too sure what to make of it when they opened their apartment door at 8:30 to a crying Arya.
"C-Can I st-st-stay here for the weekend?" She hiccuped.
Both girls looked at one another, the same heartbroken expressions mirrored on the others face before turning to Arya and nodding their heads, urging her inside.
After they got her things settled in the guest room, and after she finished taking a bath, the three of them were all seated on the couch in Sansa and Margaery's living room.
"What happened, buttercup?" Margaery asked her, her voice dripping in concern.
Arya was glad her sister had someone who was so kind, brave and gentle to love. Sansa deserved nothing but the best and Margaery was the absolute cream of the crop. She smiled at Marg, grateful to have her and Sansa to lean on.
"Gendry and I got into a fight." Arya's face fell after she spoke, remembering everything. He's going to pick her over me again. She felt tears welling in her eyes.
"Just breathe, it's okay. We got you." Sansa said, while rubbing soothing patterns on Arya's back.
Arya breathed in and out for a few minutes while Margaery made tea for her. Once she final settled her nerves again and drank her tea, she proceeded to tell them everything, from how she'd been harboring feelings for Gendry for the longest time, and how she ran into Melisandre and felt her anger spike and told her to fuck herself, to the fight her and Gendry had, and what it meant for them now.
"Oh Arya, that's absolutely awful." Sansa cried. Arya nodded sadly in agreement.
"He's still at your apartment?" Marg asked. She knew where things went whenever Margaery asked questions. She always made you see reason, made you look at both sides before immediately jumping to one. Arya wasn't so sure she wanted to see reason right now. She wanted to stay mad at Gendry. And she was. But she was even more mad at herself for loving him still.
"I don't know. Maybe? I left before he did, if he did. I was too mad, I couldn't stand to be in the same room as him, not when this is happening."
"To be fair, and we are going to be fair-don't give me that look Sans-to be fair, he doesn't know how you feel about him." Marg said before smiling softly at her. "I'm not saying what he did was right, it wasn't, it sucked. But there's always a reason behind the decisions we make, even the really really dumb decisions."
Arya felt her shoulders slump. She was right, of course she was, but it didn't hurt any less. "I guess." Arya mumbled.
"You should talk to him. Really talk. Not fight." Sansa mentioned.
"I guess." Arya grumbled "But can I wait, I'm not ready."
"Of course love, take your time. There's no rush. I'm sure he'll wait however long he needs to if it's for you." Margaery said, something hidden in her tone.
"What do you mean?" Arya asked. She didn't miss the way Sansa scowled at her girlfriend for mentioning this now.
"Arya you can't seriously tell me you don't see how head over heels in love with you Gendry is can you?" Margaery spoke, receiving a shove from Sansa.
"Marg, you were supposed to let it be." Sansa said.
"What are you guys talking about?" Arya interjected.
"Really really dumb decisions and the reasons behind them." Margaery looked at her pointedly. Arya's eyes widened.
"No, he's not- he doesn't-no-"
"Yes. He does. And he's an idiot for not doing the right thing about it and we're idiots for telling you about it" Sansa said, deflated.
"Which is why communication is key." Margaery spoke. "Alright lassies, it's time for bed. Up we go."
The three of them all stood, Arya hugging both Sansa and Margaery goodnight before heading to bed. She didn't miss how Sansa chastised Margaery for telling Arya everything and that she should've kept her mouth shut. Arya also didn't miss how Margaery told her she thought Sansa liked it when she didn't shut her mouth, although Arya wished she did.
----
Gendry spent the entire weekend trying to figure out what to do, how to fix it. He didn't realize how royally screwed he was until he visited Robb and Theon at 12 pm, and found Jon there too.
"Hey Gendry, we were just about to head out to lunch, you wanna join us?" Theon asked, right hand in Robb's and left hand in Jon's so he didn't feel left out. When he explained this to Jon he rolled his eyes but still grabbed Theon's hand.
"I actually came to talk to you guys. I need your help." He felt his heart thumping. The three of them would either beat the crap out of him, or get very angry and send glares his way but help him anyway. He really prayed for it to be the latter.
"What's up?" Robb asked. They all settled back down in the living room.
"It's about Arya."
At this, Robb, Jon and Theon all shared a look with one another.
"Okay what was that look about?"
"Finally decided to tell the little wolf how you feel about her mate?" Jon asked, grinning like a fool.
"Okay seriously, how did everyone know about that before even we did. No-I mean yes- not yet. I did something stupid."
Robb and Jon tensed "Don't tell me you hurt our little sister, Gendry" Robb muttered.
Gendry just looked at them before letting his nerves get the better of him and promptly spilling out everything that had happened over the last week in a nervous ramble. "I completely understand if you want to kill me, you totally can, I just need to apologize to Arya before you do."
The three of them all looked at each other. "You're a really dumb fucker, you know that?" Jon said. "Melisandre? Again?"
"I know I know, but I just got so mad at the thought of Arya and Ned. I just didn't want to think about her actually loving someone else."
"But she doesn't love Ned you proper ass! She loves you!" Theon exclaimed, clearly very over the situation. "I mean of all people, why on Earth would Arya love Ned Dayne like that. They've got absolutely nothing in common."
Gendry, Robb and Jon all just stared at Theon who looked at them defensively "What? I picked her up from work a few weeks ago to go to the movies and I met him. He's a nice enough boy, but he's something out of a fairy-tale and we all know how much Arya hates those."
"Fair point." Robb praised his boyfriend.
"You need to talk to her. Tell her the truth." Jon stated.
"I know, I just don't know how. She's been at Sansa's the whole weekend and-"
"What?" Robb cut in.
"She's been staying with Sansa and Margaery's at their place ever since we fought." Gendry stated, a little more quietly and unsure than the first time.
"Oh you screwed up big time big time." Robb stated "Arya loves her apartment, and you drove her out of it? I'd hate to be you right now." Robb finished.
"When the world ends, I hope to be as far away from you as possible." Gendry stated, not at all amused with Robb's blatant lack of support.
"I'm sorry man, I'm just saying. But honestly, just wait for her. She'll want to talk to you eventually, I mean it's you and Arya, Gendry. You mean way too much to her for her to let you go. You guys worked it out the first time things blew over with Melisandre. You'll figure it out, you guys always do." At that Gendry felt himself smiling at Robb.
"Alright, lets go eat boys." Theon said.
"You coming Gendry?" Jon asked.
"Nah, I think I'm gonna head to Arya's, see if she wants to talk."
"Alright. Best of luck mate." Jon patted his shoulder "Don't screw this up, and if she asks me to beat you up, I will. Cheers."
Gendry stared at Jon for a while before he nodded understandingly and left the apartment, making his way to Arya's building.
----
After a full weekend at Sansa and Margaery's house, Arya was ready to return to the comfort of her apartment. She loved spending time with her sister and her sister's girlfriend, but she wanted nothing more than to be back in her own home, her own bed and oasis that she made for herself.
When she opened the door, she noticed how much more put together her place looked than when she had left it, Gendry's doing no doubt. She felt tears in her eyes again at the last memory she made in her apartment and hated herself for crying so much over the course of 4 days. I don't cry this much, get it together she thought. She closed the door behind her and looked at the time on the cable box. It read 8:34 in the morning and after 3 nights of tossing and turning in the guest bed at Sansa's place, she realized she could actually use some sleep.
As soon as she changed into her comfiest pair of pajamas (which she chose to ignore was a pair of Gendry's way too large sweatpants and one of his old band t-shirts), she climbed into bed, let a few tears fall and was out like a light.
----
It wasn't even 1 o'clock yet before she was pulled from her dreamless sleep and heard knocking on her door. Arya sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes before hopping out of bed, putting on her slippers and her hair up in a messy bun out of her face and walked to the front door.
She didn't have to wonder who it was. She knew it'd be him. It had been the longest she hadn't spoken to him. He left her multiple messages and missed calls but she was too wrapped up in her hurt to listen.
She took a deep breath and then she opened the door.
"Hi." She said quietly.
----
He didn't know if she would open the door, and frankly he wouldn't blame her if she didn't. But she did and he was grateful for it.
He didn't miss the fact that her face was tired, whether it was from a lack of sleep or too much of it he wasn't sure, he also noticed how tired and red her eyes were from crying herself a river all weekend, and it made his heart clench.
He also didn't miss the fact that it was his clothes she was wearing, his t-shirt and his sweatpants.
She was tired and sad and small and he hated himself.
She was still absolutely beautiful, though he figured you could dress Arya up in a trash bag and she'd still pull it off. Almost any and everything that was Arya was beauitful.
"Hi" she spoke quietly.
"Hi. Can I come in?" He asked tentatively.
She looked at him, really looked at him, trying to figure out if it would be worth it to let him in. It was Gendry, so the answer was always yes. She nodded and opened the door a little wider for him to walk in.
She closed the door behind him and made herself comfortable on her couch. He followed suit and sat beside her.
"We need to talk." Gendry started.
"Yeah, we do. Did you want to go first or me?" She agreed.
"Whatever you want." He offered, and she hated it. It was always both of them fighting to speak first and now they were tiptoeing over who said what. It was now or never she thought to herself and decided it was time to rip the band-aid off.
"Why are you- I mean Melisandre- I just...why?" She didn't know what she had been trying to ask but it was enough for Gendry to answer.
"I was stupid," Arya snorted at that and he was grateful for it, it felt normal and felt right, "I'm not getting back together with her. I just- it's a lot to explain and I'm certain you're going to lose every ounce of respect you have for me but here we go."
She gave him a look that spoke volumes of how much she values him. A look that she knew meant he could break her heart 10 ways to Sunday and she'd still love him, she didn't have to tell him that though.
"I never told you why I broke up with Melisandre, did I?" He asked, and he knew the answer but wanted to hear it anyways.
"No. I figured you wouldn't want to talk about it." She answered honestly.
"It was my birthday. Everybody was there and you weren't." His blue eyes held her grey ones.
"I was so mad, I couldn't believe you didn't come. I knew I hadn't been the best friend I should've been, but it was my birthday. But then I found out she hadn't invited you. She kept you out on purpose. Jon, Robb and everybody else told me, I was just too naive to see it. And then Jon gave me the card you wrote for me and my necklace and I swear I saw red. I was furious. How could I let myself become so blind? How could I let someone hurt you? How could I hurt you?"
She was upset but she still reached forward and grabbed his hand, giving it a light squeeze. He looked down at their hands and couldn't help but notice how right they looked together, how right it felt. He squeezed back.
"Anyways, I broke up with her after that. It was like realizing I was in a haze the whole time, I wasn't really myself. I never made time for you or Hot Pie or Jon and everyone else. I let myself get wrapped up in this world that I had no means of being a part of." He paused to look straight into her grey eyes "I didn't appreciate the life I already built or the family I already had."
"So my birthday gift and absence is what broke the spell?" Arya asked timidly.
"That and a few other things. I didn't know the first thing about Melisandre, and we had been going out for 2 months. She never wanted to talk about anything that mattered. I would try to open up but she never seemed to care about it. Not the way you care. I don't think anybody cares about me the way you care about me."
Arya felt her heart pick up in speed and tried to steady her breathing.
"Then I came straight here and promised to never go back, not if it meant putting our friendship and your feelings at risk."
"Okay, but you did go back. Why did you go back? " Arya didn't attempt to hide the hurt she felt at the idea of Gendry getting back together with Melisandre.
"About a week ago, I went to the bar with Anguy and Pyp. A mistake on my part, I know. Those two always want to get shitfaced."
Arya made a face and noise in agreement, allowing some tension to leave the very serious moment and earning a light laugh from Gendry.
"It was the local pub, by my old neighborhood and I ran into Melisandre while I was drunk enough for two of me." He shifted his body so that he was facing Arya entirely.
"We spoke and I just thought it was okay to catch up with her, it wasn't getting back together it was just talking. And she gave me her number and then I gave her mine and after a lot of my drunk blabbering, we spoke about getting lunch." Gendry felt Arya's hand go stiff in his, he gave her a reassuring squeeze.
"It seemed innocent enough, and I had absolutely no intention of getting back together with her, but when I came here after that, I saw you and Ned Dayne on your couch watching rom coms and laughing and being all cosy and it made me sick."
Arya watched him curiously, finally clicking into place what Margaery had told her. "Why did it make you sick?"
Gendry looked at Arya and let out an exasperated sigh, "Why do you think?"
Arya gave him a pointed look before facing him completely now, "We're going to have to do better at communicating with each other Gendry. I won't know it until you say it. Tell me how you feel. Why did it make you sick?"
This time, Gendry held both of her hands in his, "I'm in love with you, Arya. I'm fairly certain I've been in love with you for a while now and I've been an idiot about it."
"You can say that again."
"I'm an idiot and I love you." Gendry smiled.
Arya felt herself blushing at his words before urging him to keep talking with a nod of her head.
"I'm not sure why my mind went straight to the idea that you were with Ned, but it did and it bothered me and I hated myself for it." Gendry knew that this was the moment that would make things turn, put Arya in a position of complete and total power of where their friendship went, "So I messaged Melisandre and we had lunch twice. Both very awful. At first she didn't seem the same, she actually seemed normal and not at all manipulative. But then after our second lunch, you ran into her and you guys had your encounter and she kept spamming my phone about it, asking what your problem was. And it just made me angry because it reminded me that she's not the person I want to be with. It just seemed like self sabotage really."
"Why did it seem like self sabotage?" Arya looked confused.
"Because I thought you were with Ned and I decided to reach out to Melisandre after that...and I'm an idiot who doesn't know how to communicate what I'm feeling."
"But I'm not with Ned and I don't want to be with Ned, I want to be with you. You never asked." Arya said. Gendry found comfort in hearing her say she wants to be with him. There's hope.
"I know, and I should have asked you, Ned made that perfectly clear when we-"
"You spoke to Ned?" Arya cut him off.
Gendry scratched the back of his head nervously and shrugged his shoulders "Yeah, after you left, I stayed here for a few hours and he came over for your movie night-" Arya face palmed herself.
"Shit, I forgot to reschedule."
"Yeah, you did, he got the memo."
"What did you say?" Arya asked worried about the prospect of Gendry and Ned in a room together.
"I found out through him laughing in my face that the two of you are very much not together. He also agrees with you that I'm an idiot. I think it's a universal thing really." Arya laughed at that before nodding in agreement, "Anyways, he knocked some sense into me. So did your brothers and Theon."
"When did you speak to them?"
"Right before I came here. I spent the weekend trying to figure out what to say after talking to Ned. I needed to talk to them too, it wouldn't feel right trying to be their friend while knowing how badly I fucked things up with you."
"Were they any help?"
"In their own Robb, Jon and Theon way."
"So not at all then?" Arya laughed. He smiled at her, thanking the gods above that even through all of this, things could seem so normal and so them.
They both came back to the conversation at hand. "Arya I'm sorry. More sorry than I've ever been. My biggest regret was hurting you the first time and I was stupid and reckless enough to do it again. You are the person I care about most, you're my best friend and I don't know what I'd do without you. It's no secret now that I'm in love with you, the whole entire world practically knows. I love you. I'm sorry, and while I can't promise I won't be stupid and argue with you over the most mundane things on planet Earth, I can promise that I will set my pride aside wherever you're concerned and I will never put anyone else before you ever again."
Arya searched Gendry's eyes and found nothing but sincerity in them. She knew he meant every word he said. She just needed time.
"I think, since you've confessed your undying love for me, it's only fair I do the same." Gendry eyes lit up and a small smile started forming on his lips.
"I love you Gendry, I really do. Ever since we were kids, I had this massive crush on you, but then we grew up and you went off to college with Jon and Robb and Theon and I grew out of it for a bit. I dated Mycah for like a year and a half before we broke up and then joined you and my brothers in University, and realized my feelings for you were still very much there and not some tiny school girl crush and I was- I am in love with you -" Gendry cut her off at this.
"If you had feelings for me all this time, why didn't you ever say anything?"
"I think it's fair to say you weren't the only idiot in this situation. But you always seemed to have so much on your plate what with Robert and then dating Willow before breaking up and then everything with your uncles wanting you to run their business. There was never a good time to bring up my feelings for you and I didn't want to jeopardize our friendship for my feelings for you."
Gendry nodded in understanding.
"It seems my sister and her girlfriend were right."
"What do you mean?"
"I should've just spoken to you. Things are always easier when we talk. This is still hard, but it's not as hard as it would be if we didn't actually listened to what the other has to say."
"I couldn't agree more."
"You really hurt me Gendry. I know now that this was all just the product of a massive load of lack of communication, but I still got hurt." Arya sees pain flash behind his eyes and she's sad that she put it there, but she needs to be honest with him and herself if she wants this to go anywhere.
"I want to be more than this with you, and get through the really tough stuff together like we're getting through this, but I need time. I love you and I'm positive you're the only person I'm ever going to love like this. But I just need to rebuild before we can get there."
Gendry holds her face in his hands and instantly she decides she likes the way they feel there and he presses a gentle kiss to her forehead. She wished it was on the lips.
"I'll wait however long you need." He said softly.
And really, he would.
----