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It was a typical day for Flin Matthews, aka probably the unluckiest man in all of Southern California. He started off the day by almost getting hit by two cars, people are assholes nowadays I swear, get fired again only to be immediately rehired once a certain government agency intervened on his behalf and now he's fighting some crazy doctor hellbent on merging every universe into one hodgepodge of death for the hell of it.
“Seriously, Doc? You pick now of all times to try destroying the planet?” Flin complained while shooting webbing at the estranged doctor, making sure he didn’t swing into any buildings while he did so. The Doctor growled, ripping the webbing off of his hand that prevented the portal “You’ve always been a pain in my side, Spider! Fortunately for me, this will be the last time we’ll ever meet!”. Flin sighed and rammed into The Doctor feet first “That’s what they always say, Doc...and as you can see nobody has succeeded on that promise yet” Flin proceed to web up the doctor in a nice little straightjacket.
Unbeknownst to Flin however The Doctor had one last trick up his sleeve, or well boot heel in this case, as he slammed his foot into the ground which activated the portal device behind Flin. Before Flin could even get out a reply the portal began sucking him and anything that wasn’t nailed down into whatever universe The Doctor had picked beforehand. “I told you, Spider, this would be the last time we’d meet! Au Revoir!” he smirked as Flin was finally totally absorbed in.
Flin flailed his arms as he continued to fall...and fall...and fall until he landed harshly on some concrete in a weird video game esq metropolis with plenty of skyscrapers and other quote on quote big city things.”aw my aching spine” Flin groaned as he sat himself up, grateful for the old enhanced endurance his powers gave him. Once he was up and attem Flins took a better look at his surroundings and was quite convinced he wasn’t in kansas anymore.
It only took him a few moments to prove this hypothesis as the first thing he saw was a poster on a building site saying “Join Crow’s Army! Good Benefits! Adequate Pay! Higher Than Average Chance Of Death! Head To Your Local Macro City Mall To Apply!”. Flin’s first question was “what the everloving hell was a Crow?” And his second was “Where is Macro City?”.
Of course like everything in his life his peace was short lived as overhead came some strangely brown and black armored man with a sword and a pink haired girl being chased by someone in a...purple jumper with a large pink zipper? And Flin thought his universe was weird. Unfortunately years of experience had taught him the weird ones were always the smart ones and were likely his only way home.
So Flin shot two webs at two buildings and slingshotted himself over to the kooky looking group in hopes that it wouldn’t take much convincing for them to help. The Brown and Black armored one, whose name is Vincent, was giving his pink haired companion, whose name is Lucille Miller, an annoyed glance before being surprised by the sound of Flin landing on his vehicle which made him hit the breaks and cause the purple one, who goes by Valentine, to crash and rebound into the back seat of the vehicle.
Flin looked down at the two, his suit’s eyes narrowing a bit before saying “Scuse me folks it seems I took a wrong turn at Albuquerque and wound up in a universe that wasn’t my own! You wouldn’t mind helping a fellow costumed nutcase out and helping me make a portal back home, would ya?”. The one called Vincent rolled his eyes at Flin “I’m a villain, bub, i don’t help anyone that isn’t myself-” he let out a sigh before adding“And Lucy here”. Lucy gave him a wave “Hey there, weird blue Spider-Man”
Val picked themselves up “Ughhh...did anyone get the number of that bus?”. Vincent turned around “Oh shit are you ok, Val?” he asked with concern. Val responded with a nod before Flin interjected himself back in “While that’s great and all, odds are if i stay here bad things are gonna happen”. Vincent sneered at Flin “Oh yeah like what?”. It was at this moment that the vehicle they were all floating in poofed out of existence and all four of them started falling.
Flin got to thinking quick and used some webbing to make a nice soft spot for them all to land on/in. Once they did Vincent quickly changed his tune with a “Alright let’s get you the hell outta our universe”. Thus began the group’s journey to Vincent’s secret evil lair where everyone but Flin worked on a way to get him outta there. Flin was instructed to not touch anything in case he, you know, made something or someone disappear.
After several strenuous hours of work, and a few snack breaks mixed in with some dance montages, Vincent and crew procured a small handheld portal device for Flin that should not only take him home but also let him pop into other universes without erasing people and things from existence. With a final wave goodbye Flin turned a dial on his device and got transported.
It was on Flin’s 7th universe hop that he just flat out broke down and started crying. He’d visited demons, dragons, snake people, normal people, and another universe filled baddies. He was up to hear with this bullshit if he was being honest. His mental breakdown was interrupted however by a blonde kid with the IQ of a slice of cheese, he’s apparently named Mathew, and some girl with brown hair that oddly looked like cat ears, her name was Laura,.
The two asked him why he was laying on the ground sobbing on the grass and so Flin recalled all of the past adventures he had experienced in about 20 or so minutes. Matthew laughed and shook his head “See your problem is you don’t have the dial set to W for Wumbo, see?” he went ahead and fixed that little issue. Flin was left dazed “I uh i...god i hate crossover events” he groaned and finally teleported to his home universe where he best The Doctor so badly even speaking cause severe pain.
The End