Chapter Text
Jaebeom blinked, then he cocked his head. He replayed the question over in his mind again, then once more, and one last time. Maybe his hearing was off, he surely didn’t hear that correctly.
“Can you repeat that?”
Youngjae huffed. “I said I want you to teach me how to kiss.”
Nope. Jaebeom heard it right this time.
The older boy shook his head, still trying to wrap his mind around the question bouncing around his brain. “Why would you want me to do that?”
“Hyung, didn’t you listen to anything I said?” Youngjae crossed his arms, a small frown played at his lips. He was leaning on the armrest of the sofa, legs draped over Jaebeom’s lap, his handheld video game long forgotten on the coffee table.
Jaebeom wanted to say he did listen but he couldn’t lie to the boy. It’s not his fault Youngjae looks incredibly cute in his oversized hoodie, making the elder zone out and focus on his sweater paws instead. He heard something about a party but soon lost interest when Youngjae stretched out on the sofa and plopped his otter socked feet in Jaebeom’s personal space.
Youngjae dug his heels into the black-haired boy’s thigh, eliciting a grunt of discomfort. “You and Mark-hyung are the same, I swear.”
That caught Jaebeom’s attention. “You asked Mark-hyung to kiss you too?” He asked, pushing the boy’s legs off his lap so he could fully face him.
“No, I’m just saying you two space out whenever someone’s talking about something important.”
Jaebeom snorted. “You learning how to kiss is important?” That earned him a pillow to the chest, making him laugh at the (barely) threatening glare Youngjae shot his way.
“It is when I’ve never had my first kiss and BamBam is trying to set me up with an upperclassman at the university by playing seven minutes in heaven.”
Now that he thinks about it, Jaebeom should’ve paid more attention to the story Youngjae told. After throwing the pillow back, he demanded the brunette retell his problem with every detail from who’s attending the party to what kind of clothes he’s wearing. Jaebeom doesn’t care if the boy is 18 and in his last year of high school, he’ll always be a little kid in the elder’s eyes, so sue him for being a little overprotective.
Apparently, BamBam is playing matchmaker and he wants Youngjae to ‘get some,’ or that’s how he put it. His brilliant scheme, with the help of Yugyeom and Jackson (much to both Jinyoung’s and Jaebeom’s dismay), is to rig seven minutes in heaven and have Youngjae paired up with a second-year from Jaebeom’s college. Minwoo? Minseok? Whatever the hell his name is, Jaebeom doesn’t care about him but from the way his stomach is boiling with rage at the dreamy look on Youngjae’s face when he’s talking about the guy, Jaebeom should care just a bit.
When Youngjae finished his spiel, he was hugging his knees and hiding his face. Jaebeom had to resist the urge to pull the boy into his lap and stroke his hair, so instead, he awkwardly patted his shoulder. Smooth, real smooth.
“Now do you see my dilemma?” His voice was muffled but the twinge of embarrassment was strong.
“Yeah, and it’s kinda stupid.” This time, Jaebeom dodged the pillow thrown his way.
“You’re not helping, hyung.”
“But you want me to help by teaching you how to kiss properly?”
Youngjae glared at him once more and Jaebeom couldn’t hold in his laughter. He let out a deep chuckle at the sight of puffed out rosy cheeks and pouty lips. Youngjae should take some lessons on how to be menacing from Jinyoung, that boy can scare just about anyone (except Jackson because his boyfriend is immune to it by now).
“If you’re going to make fun of me then I can go find someone else.” Youngjae began to unfurl from his ball form and stand up, but Jaebeom shot out his hand to grab the younger’s wrist.
“I’ll help you.” His voice came out a bit rushed, but thankfully the brunette didn’t notice it. Youngjae’s eyes were wide and the corner of his mouth twitched into the faintest hint of a smile.
“Really? You will?”
Jaebeom would be lying if he said he was comfortable with Youngjae asking anyone else but him to assist in his problem. He trusts the other guys to have the same reaction as himself but help Youngjae in the end. It’s just the thought of the boy kissing someone else that has Jaebeom on edge. He doesn’t like the idea of Youngjae kissing other people in general, especially if it’s his first, so if Jaebeom can take some strain off his shoulders, then he will. He just needs to calm down his racing heart first.
The brunette sat back on the couch, legs beneath him and hands gripping his knees. He seemed excited, almost eager. It made Jaebeom raise an eyebrow, but he didn’t think much of it. Youngjae is alway happy over the smallest things.
“Can we start now?”
“Now?” The elder choked out. “Like right now?”
Youngjae nodded, his soft brown hair bounced with every bob of his head. “The party’s tonight and I need to practice. BamBam said if Mingyu-ssi doesn’t walk out of the room with a boner than it didn’t go well.”
Mingyu. Jaebeom already despises the guy. The thought of some stranger kissing Youngjae, touching him, feeling him, it doesn’t sit well with Jaebeom.
He couldn’t keep quiet much longer, so the older boy asks the question that’s been irking him for quite some time. “You’re not planning on having sex with him, are you?”
Youngjae’s face flushed a deep red in an instant. He brought his hands up to eye level, waving them frantically. “No! Definitely not! I just want him to like me.”
“Why wouldn’t he like you?” Who wouldn't like Youngjae? That’s absurd. Everyone likes him, there’s nothing to dislike about him.
Youngjae fiddled with the drawstrings of his hoodie (it was actually Jaebeom’s hoodie) then he said in a quiet voice, “I’m inexperienced. I’ve never been in a relationship and he’s older than me so he knows how to do stuff I don’t.” The boy picked at his jeans, rolling a piece of lint between his fingers. He was shy, nervous. “I just don’t want him to see me as a kid.”
“Have you met him before?” Jaebeom wanted to know what was so special about this guy that made Youngjae want to impress him. When the boy shook his head, Jaebeom frowned. “Then how do you know if he won’t like you?”
The small, “I don’t know,” that escaped his mouth left the older boy dejected. Jaebeom’s frown deepened to a scowl. If this guy doesn’t like Youngjae based off a first kiss and his inexperience than he’s a piece of trash that Jaebeom will have to deal with.
This time Jaebeom didn’t hesitate, he grabbed Youngjae’s arm then pulled him to his chest, allowing the younger to bury his face in Jaebeom’s black cotton shirt. The brunette wrapped his arms around the elder’s middle, a small sigh slipped past his lips, his hot breath fanned over Jaebeom’s chest.
“If he doesn’t give you a chance after tonight then he’s a dumbass. Just say the word and Mark-hyung and I will jump him in an alleyway.”
That made Youngjae giggle. His giggle may or may not have made butterflies erupt in Jaebeom’s stomach. The boy pulled back from the embrace, there were faint lines on his cheeks from the shirt. “I’ve seen you fight, hyung, you wouldn’t stand a chance.”
Jaebeom scoffed. “Wrestling Yugyeom doesn’t count, I let him win.”
Youngjae pushed away Jaebeom’s wiggling fingers with a squeal, backing up on the sofa to escape his tickling. “But boxing with Jackson-hyung does count. He knocked you out, remember?”
No, Jaebeom doesn’t. He faintly remembers the sound of a bell, then the next thing he knew, he was falling on his ass and counting the swirling stars in his vision as his cheek swelled. It was just supposed to be a mock session, but Jackson’s overly competitive ass took things a little too far. When Jaebeom came too, he was laying on a bench with Jinyoung hovering over him, a guilty-looking Jackson with tears in his eyes, and BamBam off to the side, laughing at the video. After that, Jaebeom swore off boxing, unless it was on the Wii and Mark wasn’t playing.
The black-haired boy pinched Youngjae’s thigh. “Dissing my fighting abilities—“
“Lack of fighting abilities.”
“—won’t make you a better kisser.” Jaebeom crossed his arms. “Do you still want to do it?”
Youngjae’s eyes widened. “Yes!” He cleared his throat, collecting himself from his panicked outburst. “Yes, please. I still want to do it.”
“Alright then.” Jaebeom maneuvered himself so him and Youngjae were inches apart. He sat cross-legged, knees brushing against each other as the younger moved, aligning their faces to eye level. Jaebeom stared into his chocolate brown eyes, watching as the brunette’s gaze wavered slightly. His eyes kept shifting from Jaebeom’s face to his nose to his mouth. The elder chuckled. “You don’t have to be nervous about anything. It’s just me.”
“I know.” Youngjae’s Adam apple bobbed when he swallowed. He leaned in, noses brushing, breath ghosting over Jaebeom’s lips. “I trust you.”
Fuck. Jaebeom is going to regret this. He already feels his resolve crumbling, his hands itching to touch the boy in front of him. Youngjae looks so inviting, so pure and innocent that Jaebeom wants to ravish him. But he can’t because Youngjae is a friend looking for help. This is just helping out a friend, it’s platonic, nothing more, nothing less.
Youngjae’s fingers found the elder’s, fingertips running over his knuckles. He leaned his forehead against Jaebeom’s, eyelids half-lidded and cheeks splattered with pink. “Are you ready?” He asked breathlessly, voice soft, almost timid.
Jaebeom cupped his cheeks, thumbs stroking under his eye, over the small mole he’s always loved. “I should be asking you that question. This is your first kiss, not mine.”
“I’m glad it’s you.” Youngjae’s hands found Jaebeom’s chest, gripping his shirt like he needed to anchor himself. “I wouldn’t have asked anyone else.”
The black-haired boy heard the shuddering breath leave the younger at the smallest brush of lips. He felt the tremor run down his spine when Youngjae’s eyes began to close, the deep brown of his irises still glittering through the fringe of his lashes. As Jaebeom got closer to his waiting lips, the brunette angled his head to receive the kiss.
“I wouldn’t want you to ask anyone else,” he said, keeping his voice low as his eyes dropped to Youngjae’s parted lips. His cheeks were still rosy pink, but his eyes had no embarrassment, they held an intense gaze that seemed to edge Jaebeom on.
They were a hairs length away from each other, breaths mingling and hands slightly trembling. Jaebeom has about one second to back out of this if he wanted to save his mental and emotional wellbeing. He knows if he kisses Youngjae then he might not be able to stop. He’d be lying if he said he hasn’t thought of kissing the younger before. They’ve been friends since middle school, Jaebeom watched Youngjae grow from a shy boy to a man who can out-sing an entire town. They’ve had countless sleepovers, study sessions, walks in the park, late-night trips to greasy fast food restaurants under the cover of the stars. The black-haired boy treated Youngjae like a little brother, someone he could watch over, someone to faun over, baby, take care of. Their friendship is so strong that it even rivals Jaebeom and Jinyoung’s own (though he’d never tell him that, of course, in fear of Jinyoung ranting about all the times he’s saved Jaebeom’s ass).
So Jaebeom shouldn’t mind if Youngjae meets someone. He won’t think twice if the boy ends up in a steady relationship with someone who cherishes him, worships him like the treasure he is. Jaebeom won’t say it hurts if Youngjae finds someone else to kiss, to hold, to love. Or that’s what he’s been trying to convince himself to believe all these years.
The brunette’s tongue peeked out, wetting his dry lips. “What are you waiting for?”
“For any sign that tells me this is a bad idea.”
Youngjae nuzzled their noses. “Do you think this is a bad idea?”
“No.”
“Then kiss me.”
Jaebeom steeled his nerves, heartbeat pounding in his ears as he slipped a hand to cup Youngjae’s neck, holding him in place as he pressed forward.
Warm. Warm and soft and perfect, that’s how he would describe the younger’s lips. It was a soft press, there was barely any pressure between them, it was hesitant. Jaebeom pulled back slightly to gauge Youngjae’s reaction, breath hitching at the dazed look on his face. The brunette’s mouth was slightly parted, features relaxed and eyes cracking open the slightest. His irises sparkled, the deep coffee color made Jaebeom want to drown himself in his orbs, swim in the brown galaxy he constantly finds himself in.
“Are you okay?”
Youngjae nodded, hands gripping the elder’s shirt tighter. “Yes,” his voice was breathless like he got the wind knocked out of him. “Hyung, again.”
This time Youngjae leaned forward, pressing their lips together a bit roughly. Jaebeom had to hold back his chuckle at his eagerness, opting to bury the hand behind Youngjae’s neck into his hair, holding him in place. Jaebeom took control of the kiss, slightly moving his lips against Youngjae’s, causing him to move as well. Their lips grooved together, their tender movements making Jaebeom dizzy.
If anyone asked him his name right now, he’s pretty sure he wouldn’t know the answer. The younger was slightly shaking beneath his fingers, breathing labored and hands hesitatingly trailing from Jaebeom’s chest to cup his neck, bringing him closer. The elder’s brain began to shut down, his logical side seemed to have a fistfight with his desire to push Youngjae down to the cushions, grappling with the small voice at the back of his head that screamed at him to stop, to end the kiss before things got out of hand.
But it seems that the moment Youngjae shyly poked out his tongue to touch Jaebeom’s lips, his logical side was bitch slapped to the ground.
Jaebeom’s tongue slid along the seam of the brunette’s bottom lip, asking for permission to which Youngjae granted almost instantly. The tentative way their muscles caressed each other left Jaebeom breathless, air became a second thought as he lost himself in their dance. He grew aware of the aching feeling in his stomach, sinking lower with every passing second.
A sigh left Youngjae, the sound border lining a moan to Jaebeom’s ears, making him growl in the back of his throat. His hands moved from Youngjae’s hair and cheek to descend down his neck to his shoulders, lightly pushing him back. The younger must have picked up on his movements because he wrapped his arms around Jaebeom’s neck, dragging their chests to flush together before he pulled them both down to collapse onto the pillows.
Youngjae giggled at the ungraceful grunt that left the elder, the vibrations flowing through Jaebeom’s mouth right to his bones. The younger’s hands dove into the soft raven locks, pulling the strands with every flick of his tongue. Youngjae shifted his legs, dragging them from under Jaebeom to spread on either side of his hips, thighs brushing the unexposed patch of skin from where his shirt rode up. He positioned his forearms to bracket Youngjae’s head, holding most of his weight up so he wouldn’t crush him.
“Tilt your head a little,” Jaebeom murmured against his mouth, nipping his lower lip.
“Like this?” Youngjae whispered, complying to his request.
“That’s perfect.”
The minute his tongue slipped between the younger’s lips again, Jaebeom had to hold back a groan. The kiss was deeper, more heated. His hands moved, traveling down his chest, his quivering abdomen, to find homage on Youngjae’s waist, massaging him, caressing him. Each stroke of Youngjae’s tongue in his mouth made the ache in his stomach flare hotter, tighter, until it seemed to pulse in time with his rapidly beating heart.
Jaebeom’s lungs burned, the need for air becoming more important than the way Youngjae was kissing him. The black-haired boy reluctantly pulled back, eyes opening at the small whine that left Youngjae to watch him cutely chase his lips.
“Why’d you stop?” His voice was hoarse, rough around the edges, sending shivers down Jaebeom’s spine.
“You need to breathe between kisses, Jae.” The elder leaned their foreheads together again, panting against each other’s mouth. “I almost passed out.
His soft, “Oh,” made Jaebeom smile. He nuzzled their noses, causing Youngjae to giggle and tug his hair. He picked his head up to gaze down at him, heart skipping a beat at his scarlet cheeks and blown eyes, his lips were slightly swollen and kissed red. His hair was unruly, sticking up on the sides and bangs pushed back. His hoodie was slightly rumpled, the neckline pushed far enough for the elder to catch a glimpse of a creamy collarbone. Youngjae looked beautiful and Jaebeom couldn’t get a coherent sentence out.
“Don’t look at me like that.” He shied away from Jaebeom’s intense look to turn his head, cheeks flushing harder.
“Why not? You look good.” He did and Jaebeom wanted to devour him.
Youngjae’s right hand left his hair to cup the side of Jaebeom’s head. His thumb trailed over his eye, right over his twin moles. “It makes things harder for me.”
Confusion washed over Jaebeom, making his brows pinch together. Before he could ask what Youngjae meant, the sharp ping of a phone went off. The younger reached for his device on the coffee table, opening it to read the text message.
“The party starts in an hour, I need to go.”
Something in Jaebeom fell. He doesn’t know if it was his heart or the rocks that’s been dragging him down since he realized he might like Youngjae in a way friends aren’t supposed to. No, not might, Jaebeom does like Youngjae, he has since the brunette sang to him to lift his sour mood after an argument he had with his dad when he was fifteen. He can’t let Youngjae go to that party, kiss Mingyu, and let the chance of calling the boy his slip through his fingers.
“Hyung, can you get up? I really—“ He never got to finish his sentence due to Jaebeom’s lips descending on his. It was short, more like a peck than their earlier kiss, but it still left the black-haired boy buzzing.
“You’re not going anywhere. Stay here.”
“But hyung, BamBam’s plan with Mingyu—“
“Screw him. You’re not going to kiss him now, not ever.” It might have seemed impulsive, but Jaebeom couldn’t help himself. If there’s one thing he learned in this short make-out session, it’s that Youngjae’s lips are additive. The feeling of their silky softness moving against Jaebeom’s dry lips made him feel alive, heightening his senses so he could hear a pin dropping to zeroing in on the ant crawling on the table. Youngjae also has a very talented tongue, it makes Jaebeom wonder what else his tongue could do.
This time, it was the brunette who pulled back, hands moving to place on the elder’s broad shoulders. “Jaebeom-hyung,” Youngjae leaned up, kissing the corner of his mouth, his cheek, his jaw. He trailed his lips back up to hover Jaebeom’s own, breaths mixing.
“You’re not allowed to kiss anyone like that, understand?” Jaebeom, feeling like he needs to in order to survive, pecked the boy once more before he peppered kisses over his face. “No one else but me. These are my kisses.”
“They are?” Youngjae laughed when Jaebeom blew a raspberry on his cheek.
“Yes, they are.” He waited a heartbeat. Two heartbeats. Three. Then whispered. “And so are you.”
Youngjae’s eyes dazzled at him. “I am?”
“Yes.” Jaebeom felt his cheeks heat up at the look full of adoration Youngjae gave him. He buried his face in his neck, voice coming out muffled, but clear as day to the younger’s ears. “That is, if you want to be.”
Youngjae tugged his hair, pulling him out from his neck to drag their lips back together. Jaebeom sighed, melting into the kiss like putty. Youngjae always seemed to have that effect on him.
“I do,” he said when they pulled back.
“You do?”
Youngjae rolled his eyes, mouth forming into a smile brighter than the sun. “Yes, I do. I want to be yours, I’ve wanted to for so long.”
“You have?” Jaebeom’s brain began to shut down somewhere around their fourth kiss, so you can’t blame him for not understanding right away.
“Yes, you dummy.” Youngjae snickered, hand stroking the soft hair on the elder’s nape. “Do you want to be mine?”
“Yes.” Jaebeom has never answered a question faster. “You have no idea how long I waited for you to ask.”
“How long?” Youngjae’s eyebrows arched, lips curling into a smirk.
“Long enough.” Their hands found one another, fingers interlacing like they were made to fit perfectly within each other. Jaebeom rested his head on Youngjae’s chest, his booming heart pounding to the same rhythm as the black-haired boy’s own.
“So what now? Are we boyfriends?” Ah, sweet, innocent little Youngjae, getting right to the point.
“Well, boyfriends hold hands and go out and cuddle a lot. They also share clothes and take care of each other.” Jaebeom shivered when Youngjae’s fingers tangled in his locks, blunt nails scratching his scalp.
The brunette snorted. “If that counts for anything, then we’ve been dating since middle school.”
“Boyfriends also kiss a lot. Like, all the time.” The hopefulness in his voice made Youngjae snicker. He picked up his head, chin resting on his other hand as his eyes asked a silent question.
Youngjae retracted his hand from Jaebeom’s hair to place under his chin, eyebrows furrowing in mock thought. “I don’t know, I still think I need some more practice.”
Jaebeom smiled, teeth showing and eyes turning into crescent moons. “It’s a good thing you have a good teacher.”
“Yeah, it is.” Youngjae cupped his face, bringing their mouths close. “The best teacher.”
They kissed once more, losing themselves in the other’s lips only to find each other in their hearts, where they’ve always been.