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“Kaoru, you’re really pretty.”
Kaoru’s eyes flit to Kanata, briefly startled by such an admission. He’s not sure what prompted it, it’s not like the marine bio club room had a place for him to explicitly look pretty. He’d dare to say he looked pretty stupid, considering he was cooing at the fish swimming around in a tank like they were dogs.
“A guy doesn’t like being called pretty you know. I’d prefer something like hot or attractive if you want to be more wordy.” Kaoru deflects, thinking he’d end such a conversation there.
“Ah. How about beautiful then?” Kanata’s expression doesn’t change much, even when he’s saying something embarrassing.
Kaoru’s cheeks feel warm, but he’s not going to blush over an inane compliment like that. Even if it’s from Kanata, he has enough experience to not immediately be flustered. “I think I like that better, but I’m not sure I really qualify as beautiful.”
Kanata laughs, it’s a quiet almost dreamlike thing, his laugh. Kaoru’s heart flutters when he hears it. They both sit down under the tanks, Kanata convincing Kaoru to do so after patting the spot next to him a few times.
“Do you fall in love with any of the girls you date?”
Kaoru blanches, the things coming out of Kanata’s mouth are...Why is he asking that type of question? It can’t be a natural nosiness, Kanata’s never been particularly interested in Kaoru’s business unless it was told to him voluntarily. So what exactly...
“Not really. I’m always looking for something casual so they won’t be surprised if I break it off suddenly.” Why do you want to know? Is on the tip of Kaoru’s tongue, but he goes quiet after his initial reply.
Though it feels like Kanata reads his mind. “So you haven’t fallen in love before. Do you want to?”
“Yes.” Kaoru blurts out. He’s not a fool who’s in love with the idea of being in love, yet sometimes Kaoru can be a bit of a romantic. Especially where Kanata is concerned, but…”Why, do you?” He returns Kanata’s question, chest feeling warm. Agonizing (well, he doesn’t seem to be in agony per say) over things like this isn’t typical from Kanata, so of course they’d be embarrassing right? Yet Kaoru feels like his internal reaction is incredibly disproportionate to the situation.
“I’m not good at recognizing things like that. Mostly because I wasn’t very interested in anyone before joining Ryuseitai.” Kanata leaves out that there was one person, if only because it delves into information he isn’t comfortable sharing with Kaoru right now. “But. I’ve always wanted to try being in love with someone.”
Do you want to try with me?
Kanata turns and looks at him, face unreadable. Did, did Kaoru say that out loud?
He did. It registers late, but he did.
Shit.
Kaoru swallows hard, he can’t play it off as a proper joke. So he just waits for a reply that’ll shoot him down, or for Kanata to receive it as a joke on his own.
Instead Kanata smiles. “That’s a good idea, if I can’t be in love with you Kaoru then there’s really no point in trying with anyone else is there?”
Kaoru opens his mouth to make a snarky comment, but Kanata casually straddles him with no fanfare. He doesn’t kiss Kaoru at all, instead Kanata has a hand in his hair. Kaoru’s breathing evens out as Kanata carefully combs through it with lazy fingers.
“Good boy.” Kanata breathes. It makes Kaoru’s chest warm again. “You take care of your hair very well. Do you like your hair?”
“Yeah.” Kaoru preens, enjoying the attention. “I make sure to maintain it very well. I even go to hair and nail salons sometimes.”
Kanata chuckles, hands moving to caress Kaoru’s cheeks. “How long have you liked me?”
Kaoru sputters, eyes going wide. God, why does Kanata coax his feelings out of him so easily. If it were anyone else, anyone else at all he’d be able to easily brush this off. “I don’t know.” He croaks.
“Are you happy that I made your wish come true?”
“M-My wish?”
“Do you want a kiss?”
“No- I mean.” Kaoru steadies his breathing, things are moving too fast. This is his first guy, a guy that he actually really likes so. He shouldn’t move too fast. “Not yet. I have to, prepare myself Kanata-kun. We’re moving a little quick you know?”
Kanata’s mouth turns down into a frown out of confusion, but he nods. “How slow should we be going then?”
“The kissing. Just give me a week for that, but anything else is on the table. I’m not always a handsy guy, but I like it when someone does that to me if you get what I mean.” Kaoru smiles towards Kanata’s blank face. It takes him a second to get it, but soon Kanata’s nodding along again.
“Okay.”
“I need to get home so, I’ll see you tomorrow alright?”
“Okay.” Kanata repeats.
Kaoru stands up after Kanata gets off of him, wobbling a bit to his embarrassment. His cheeks are still rather pink after everything that went on, but that’s okay. It helps him process that all of this is real, that his feelings are reciprocated in some capacity.
The week passes by without much fanfare after that, Kanata seems mostly normal except for absentminded touches he leaves on Kaoru’s body. Each day there seems to be a part he’s fixated on, and it’s nice but, Kaoru sometimes has to keep him from being too invasive when other people are in the club room.
When the new week starts, Kaoru suddenly remembers his promise as they’re walking down the hallway together.
“Kanata-kun.” Kaoru stops, and it takes Kanata a few steps before he realizes and looks backward. “I’m ready. For my kiss.”
Kanata steps toward him, a hand tangling in Kaoru’s hair. “Do you want to lean down? Or should I pull you down on my own. What is it you like?”
“W-What I like?” Kaoru stutters and his voice cracks. He’s hyper aware of the fact they’re doing this in a hallway, but school is technically over and this hallway is almost always deserted. Regardless he’s never been quite nervous about public displays of affection when it came from girls. It was a part of his womanizing ways that people abhorred. So, he shouldn’t be as flustered as he is.
So he tells himself not to be flustered, to lean down and capture Kanata’s lips. Yet he’s frozen in place.
“Kaoru, I’m going to make you lean down alright?” Kanata pushes strong enough on the back of Kaoru’s head to get him to lean down far enough, then kisses him. When he pulls away, he nips at Kaoru’s bottom lip for good measure. “Did you like that?”
“Yeah.” Kaoru finds his voice again, sounds a bit more confident. First kiss down, which means he can go back for another. So he does, and Kanata reciprocates easily. “Sorry I, now that we’ve reached this stage I want to do it forever.”
“You can if you want to.” Kanata says in that dreamy lilt. Is he trying to sound flirty? Either way Kaoru likes it.
“Then. Allow me to get a few more in-”
“Kaoru-saaaan! What’s with this scandalous position between you and Kanata-san?” Madara’s voice rings out in the hallway, and Kanata’s eyes narrow into slits in response. “Is this, interunit dating?”
Kaoru groans, it’s not like he minds Madara knowing who he’s dating. If only because he’s not going to be judgmental about it, but he’s interrupted something that could’ve gotten really good, really fast. “What do you want?” He asks, sounding annoyed.
“I was just on my way down the hall when I saw you two standing here. Not the best place for shoving your tongue down each other’s throats you know?” Madara grins.
“I’ll be in the club room.” Kanata looks at Madara, clicking his tongue before walking off.
Ah, right. Kanata and Madara still had some oddly bad blood between them. Though Madara doesn’t seem particularly hurt by it. “You ruined a really good thing. Kanata-kun was just getting into it you know? I was going to show him how to kiss someone properly, he’s really inexperienced after all.”
“Oh? Do you really think that?” Madara gives a wry grin as Kaoru stares at him confused. “Still, I didn’t realize those rumors were true. You and Kanata-san really are dating huh? I wonder how long that’s going to laaaaast.”
Kaoru bristles at that. Madara had better not be making some type of jab at him. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Hey hey don’t get mad all of a sudden, a mad Kaoru-san is scary. I’m saying this all for your sake more than anything.” Madara laughs, but as he calms down his face turns serious. “Make sure you ask Kanata what he likes and wants to do okay?”
“Okay…?”
“I mean it. He’s prone to just doing whatever’ll please someone in that moment. Like he’s granting their wish. I know you don’t want a relationship like that, so just check if he’s fully present when he’s doing affectionate things okay?”
Kaoru nods, a little confused. “How do you...Know all this?”
Madara smiles, eyes showing the smallest hint of sadness. “We used to be really close Kaoru-san.”
“Oh... Oh .” The dots connect in Kaoru’s head, and he nods again. “Okay. I’ll take your advice then. Make sure he’s fully present.”
“Thank you thank yoooou~” Madara pats his shoulder, smile turning catlike. “Now go claim each other’s mouths like the hormonal men you are!”
“Gross, don’t phrase it like that Mikejima-kun.” Kaoru makes a face, and Madara gives an audible Hee Hee before leaving.
“Kanata-kun!” Kaoru announces as he enters the clubroom. “I hope you missed m- Oh, Souma-kun is here too!” He quietly curses this, if only because he wanted a bit more private time.
Souma acknowledges Kaoru with an accusatory glare, which is par for the course considering their relationship. “I am thoroughly surprised you haven’t skipped out on club obligations to play around with another woman’s heart you lecher.”
“Hmm. I don’t do that anymore Souma-kun. I’m a changed man, someone’s captured my heart.”
“As if I’m expected to believe something like that.” Souma huffs, opening his mouth to say something more before he’s interrupted by Kanata putting a hand on his shoulder.
“Can you get the food for our first tank? I forgot to feed the fish this morning and I don’t want them to try and eat each other.”
“R-Right away Buchou-dono.” Souma scurries out of the room, a serious look on his face.
“Don’t we have the fish food here? Why does he need to leave the room?” Kaoru asks as soon as Souma’s gone.
“Having extra wouldn’t hurt. The supply in this room’s starting to run low after all.” Kanata puts his fingers on the tank, beckoning Kaoru with his other hand. “I usually sing to the fish when no one else is around. They like the sound of my voice.”
“Really? Should I leave or…” Kaoru trails off as Kanata gives a blank look. The conversation he had with Madara earlier flashes in his mind, is this something Kanata wants to do himself? “I’ll sing with you.”
Kanata seems satisfied with that, slowly beginning to sing one of Undead’s songs. More than likely to accommodate Kaoru so he won’t have to grapple with unfamiliar lyrics. Kaoru follows along, voice soft as they stare at the fish swimming around.
It’s been a few minutes, but they manage to finish the song. Kanata adding a “Puka Puka.” Towards the end.
“Puka Puka.” Kaoru repeats, causing Kanata to turn his head. The air feels like it’s thick with tension, Kanata seeming surprised at Kaoru’s repeat of his trademark phrase. Should he not have done that? Kaoru fixes his mouth to say sorry, but Kanata bursts into a fit of giggles as his eyes soften.
“You sound really funny Kaoru.” Kanata rewards him with a chaste kiss. “Thank you.”
Kaoru has to hide his blush as Souma walks back in with the food. He seems oblivious of the situation as he presents it to Kanata, who congratulates Souma by ruffling his hair.
“Buchou-dono, while I have the utmost respect for you I’ll have to ask again you don’t congratulate me like I’m a child.” Souma says. “It’s emasculating.”
“Eh? I didn’t know Souma was so invested in being a manly man. I’ll simply pat your head then. Pat pat~”
“Somehow that makes things even worse.”
“Ehehe.” Kanata chuckles. “Don’t worry, I was joking. I’ll congratulate you properly from now on.”
Souma nods. “Thank you Buchou-dono.”
“So young and already wanting to grow up. Who’s caught your eye that you need to progress so fast into manhood Souma-kun?” Kaoru asks, finally finding his place to interject.
Souma’s thumb digs under the hilt of his katana, partially unsheathing it as he glares at Kaoru. “For one, I am not someone who wants to accelerate my personal growth simply for the sake of another person. For two, it is a personal decision.”
“So you and Adonis-kun really have nothing going on?” Kaoru grins at Souma fully unsheathes his sword. “Whoa whoa. Remember the fish, you can’t swing that thing around wildly or you might crack something.”
“I can simply avoid the tanks while I slice your head off!”
Kanata pointedly doesn’t pay attention, instead opting to go back to looking at the tanks and mumbling various words to the fish inside them. This didn’t require much attention, it was the usual for the marine bio club after all. The fact it took this long for Souma to threaten Kaoru with his blade was a feat in of itself.
Now came Souma and Kaoru tiring themselves out. Kaoru expertly avoiding each slash while Souma somehow kept himself from slicing anything important in half. By the time they’re both lying on the floor, utterly wiped out, Kanata’s managed to feed each fish again while singing them a new song.
“Club hours are over.” Kanata hums. “Unless either of you plan to stay longer?”
Souma scrambles to stand up, then bows deeply. “I will be seeing you Buchou-dono. I have something very important to attend to.”
Kaoru is still lying down, breathing beginning to even out as Souma steps over him. He clicks his tongue at Kaoru before leaving.
“Kaoru.” Kanata sits down next to him. “What did you and the Rogue talk about?”
“Rogue?” Kaoru frowns, then he remembers that was Kanata’s...Nickname? If you could call it that, for Madara. “Ah. He just told me a few things that I needed to know about you.”
Kanata gives an audible “hmph.” Face pulling into a pout. “Since when did he think he could be so invasive.”
“That’s his personality you know. I’m sure you know that better than anyone.” Kaoru laughs as Kanata glares at him, if only because it’s the most emotion he’s seen in awhile. “Hey. Kanata-kun do you really want to try loving me?”
“Hm?” Kanata tilts his head to the side, confused.
“I just. I want you to be as invested in this as I am. It’s only been a week, but if you’re only doing this to please me then I’d prefer we break up right now.” Kaoru says this, but he knows that if Kanata does admit his lack of interest it’ll feel like a knife is being shoved through his heart.
“I don’t really know. Obviously there’s something different about dating, but I’m starting to think I’m never really going to fall in love with you.”
Kaoru’s breath catches in his throat as Kanata leans down further, his lips are so close. “Then why are you…”
“Kaoru’s always made my heart feel warm. I’d get jealous sometimes, when I heard about you going out with so many women. But you always made sure to attend every single club meeting. So I don’t think I’m going to fall in love with you, because I already have.” Kanata smiles and Kaoru surges upwards to kiss him.
From a fleeting interest, to genuine friendship, to a childish crush, to lovers. Kaoru feels like his mind is working in overdrive as it recontextualizes all of him and Kanata’s interactions. How long, how long have they liked each other and just not said anything? It feels cathartic, to finally understand that Kanata’s been wrestling with the same sequence of emotions that he has. Even if Kanata doesn’t say that, he understands.
“Let’s stay together forever.” Kanata breathes out as soon as Kaoru pulls away.
Kaoru nods, his throat constricts at the thought of forever . The inner pessimist in him thinking this can’t possibly last that long, but instead of going with what his mind tells him he listens to his heart.
“Let’s stay together forever.” He repeats back to Kanata. Even if it’s only been a week, saying it out loud has him confident that things’ll last. Things will definitely last.
He’ll make sure of it.