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It all starts one Tuesday afternoon after school hours. Everyone’s gathered up in Sero’s room like usual, and Sero himself is busy devouring as many disgusting healthy snacks as humanly possible and laughing his ass off at another one of Denki’s failed flirting attempts — like the wonderful friend he is.
“And then what? She just left you all out in the open like that?”
“Yeah, dude! I was standing there and talking to the air for like five minutes straight before I noticed I couldn’t actually see her gloves! Then the robots caught up to me and we failed the mission. Ugh, it was so not cool! ”
“Damn, Hagakure is cold!” Sero bursts into another fit of laughter, spraying chewed almond bits everywhere, and Denki just groans and sinks lower in his beanbag.
“Don’t feel so bad, bro,” Kirishima says and pats his shoulder with a reassuring smile. “You just have to keep being yourself and I’m sure someone will eventually like you. I mean, I like you!”
“Yeah, well easy for you to say!” Denki throws his arms out. “You’re like super good looking and buff and everyone loves you! Me, I’m just some silly dumb guy people like to point their fingers and laugh at. No one ever takes me seriously…”
“You’re just coming on way too strong, dude.” Sero wags his finger at Denki scoldingly and shoves a fistful of nori chips into his mouth. “I mean, you were trying to chat her up during class. Not to mention that Aizawa-sensei was monitoring our communication the entire time. You need to learn how to be more low-key about this kinda stuff.”
“Didn’t ya morons say you wanted to fuckin’ study or something?” Bakugou growls out. It seems like he finally realized he's the only one bothering to read up on his notes for their upcoming World History exam. “Seriously, stop wasting my time!”
Honestly, Bakugou should know by now that ‘let’s study together’ is just their way of inviting him to spend time with them without running the risk of getting blasted to another country.
Denki likes to think he’s secretly aware of that and actually enjoys hanging out with them. He just wants to pretend he doesn’t because, well, Bakugou.
“Yeah, well, maybe some of us would like to share our lives with someone and not end up completely married to our job,” Denki says into his algebra textbook defensively, which only makes Bakugou roll his eyes.
“God, you’re so fucking annoying! How d’ya plan on becoming a Pro if all you do is keep whinin’ about the dumbest shit? It’s not like it’s difficult to get someone to date you. Just go up to them and ask!”
“Yeah, listen to Bakugou!” Sero cackles hysterically and smacks Denki’s back. “I’m sure he knows all about love!”
“Hah?! Whatcha sayin’, Soy Sauce? Ya think I’m incapable of getting some shitty extra to like me? I’m charming as hell! Way charming than you bunch of losers, that’s for sure!”
“We aren’t saying you can’t get someone to like you.” Kirishima puts his hands up placatingly. “It’s just that it might be a little… complicated with your attitude. Not everyone likes super aggressive guys, you know?”
Bakugou looks like he’s about to blow something up, but then he clicks his tongue and his expression changes from straight-up murderous to something slightly less scary along of the lines of ‘fiercely determined’. “Oi, Dunce Face!” He stands up abruptly, causing the books and papers laid on the floor to scatter all around. “I’m gonna show ya how it’s done so you better pay close attention from now on! Got it?”
Denki blinks. “Huh? Show me what?”
“Flirting!” Bakugou barks at him. “Werentcha a part of the conversation we just had?!”
“Wait, what?” Denki raises his eyebrows dubiously. “You? You’re going to teach me how to flirt?”
“Yes, me, idiot! Get the wax outta yer ears!”
It’s quiet for a total of ten seconds, then Sero starts cackling madly again and wiping tears from his eyes. “Good luck, dude,” he says in-between wheezes, and Kirishima looks at Denki a little hesitantly before sighing and turning toward Bakugou.
“Please don’t make anyone cry.”
“From joy, maybe!”
Denki thinks he might just be screwed.
~
“Listen up, Sparky! If ya want someone to start giving a shit about you, you need to openly assert yourself in their lives! None of that stupid pick-up line bullshit! You either state your intentions outright or do things for them to show you’re worth keeping around — capiche?”
It’s the day after Bakugou’s promised (a.k.a forcefully announced) he’d teach Denki all about the art of flirting, and they’re both in the main hall on their way back from lunch, the rest of the gang choosing to stay behind for Lunch Rush’s special Wednesday Dessert.
Frankly, it took a lot out of Denki to give up on that sweet looking crème brûlée. But he figures if he wants to lend himself a date he can probably afford losing a few extra kilograms. Why would Bakugou join him in turning down free food when he’s pretty much nothing but rage and concentrated muscle you ask? Well, that’s because the guy’s an absolute control-freak and will spit on you for even suggesting he do something that’s not in his meticulously detailed workout/diet plan. And that includes eating anything with more than half the recommended daily sugar intake (and sodium! ‘People add salt to fuckin’ everything these days!’)
But whatever. Denki likes to think Bakugou has a soft spot for him. If not then how come he lets him hang freely off of his arm even when they turn a corner into a less crowded area? He could easily kill him if he wanted to and there’ll be no witnesses around to say that he did it.
“But Kacchaaann! I don’t know what you mean by ‘do things for them’!”
“Shut up!” Bakugou snaps at his whining but doesn’t shake Denki off. “Christ, you’re hopeless! Do I seriously need to spell everything out for you?”
Just then the door to the teacher lounge slides open and Midoriya walks out with a huge stack of papers in his arms. Bakugou eyes him for only a second before clicking his tongue and turning toward Denki again.
“Watch this,” he says with a smirk and practically gallops down the hallway.
“Oi, Deku! Give it here!”
“Oh, hey, Kacchan!” Midoriya grins when he notices Bakugou approaching him. “It totally slipped my mind until just now but you forgot your lifting gloves at the gym yesterday and I decided I should wash them for you before giving them back. I hope you don’t mind!”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever, nerd. Just give me that stuff.” Bakugou extends his hand out expectantly, and Midoriya stares at it with a weird, screwed-up expression.
“Huh?” He tilts his head like a confused little bunny (even if he’s not really his type, Denki can still admit the dude’s downright adorable sometimes), “Give you what, Kacchan?”
“Those papers!” Bakugou shouts like it pains him to even have to clarify. “Fuck, why do I have to repeat myself so many goddamn times around here?”
“Oh!” Midoriya returns to smiling widely. “It’s okay, Kacchan! You don’t have to do anything like that! I can handle it myself. Besides, I told Midnight-san I won’t let anyone have a look at these worksheets before her next class, so I can’t just hand them over to you.”
“Screw that! You’re gonna trip over your own feet and get a concussion or somethin’. I ain’t waiting for that kissy old lady to fix your sorry ass again!”
Midoriya frowns. “I’m not so weak, you know.”
“Of course I know that! I’m just tryi—” Bakugou cuts himself off with a groan. He looks to be constipated for a good long moment before sighing heavily and running a calming hand through his hair. “Fine, have it your way,” he says, then aggressively empties his pockets and drops his phone and trusty hand sanitizer on top of Midoriya’s paper pile. “Now you’re carrying even more stuff, happy?”
“Wh—” Midoriya barely has time to react before Bakugou hoists him up by the waist and throws him over his right shoulder.
“Wh-wh-what!? What are you doing, Kacchan?!?!” Midoriya’s face becomes as red as his shoes and he starts flailing in Bakugou’s hold like a fish. If his arms weren’t currently occupied he would’ve for sure wrapped them around his head, too.
“Quit squirming! You’re gonna drop my shit!” Bakugou snarls, the tips of his ears turning a light shade of pink. “Now where to, nerd? I haven’t got all day, and like hell I am missing English to deliver something for that crazy-ass woman!”
“R-room 3-C,” Midoriya mumbles into Bakugou’s back, then lights back up with huge stars in his eyes as soon as Bakugou starts carrying him up a flight of stairs. “Wow, Kacchan, you’re so strong! Have you changed anything in your training regimen lately? I did notice you started bulking up your legs more. Would you say it contributes to your fighting style? Does the added muscle help you focus on attacking rather than maneuvering since you could just as easily push yourself up and don't have to rely solely on your explosions to get into an alleviated position? Will you show me what you did? I want to learn how to strengthen my legs as much as possible and—”
“Oh, I’ll show you alright,” Bakugou says with a pleased smirk as they disappear around the curve of the staircase.
Midoriya’s muttering gradually dissolves into silence, leaving Denki with the grim realization he’s just been abandoned by his friend to question everything he’s known about life.
“Well, that was something,” a voice says behind Denki, and he (quite literally) short-circuits and ends up hitting his own face then falling back on his ass.
“Bro, are you okay?” Kirishima crouches down to Denki’s level and offers up his hand apologetically. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you like that. You were just standing all quiet with a really creepy blank expression so I thought I might as well say something.”
“Fuck! You really scared me just now!” Denki moans once his heart stops hammering so loudly in his chest. God, he just about died from probably the single stupidest reason in existence. While still a virgin, no less.
“Sorry,” Kirishima says again and rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “If it makes you feel any better I brought some leftover dessert. I noticed you left the cafeteria before it got served — and I know how much you love sweets! — so I saved some for you.”
“Ah, thanks, Ei.” Denki smiles fondly. “But I’m actually on a diet.”
“What?! But you’re already perfect!” Kirishima exclaims like someone just threw away his entire ‘manly’ bandana collection and proceeded to piss in his hair dye. It would’ve been kind of an intimidating sound he’s just made, if not for the huge pout he’s currently sporting that makes him look like some kind of adorable kicked puppy.
“Hmm, I guess a little bit can’t hurt,” Denki concedes eventually and gets up from the floor with Kirishima’s help.
“Yeah! It really can’t!” Kirishima laughs in mad delight, and Denki lets him shove a crumpled napkin and a half-eaten crème brûlée in his hands as they make their way back to class for Present Mic’s lesson.
All in all, Denki wouldn’t say the day has been completely uneventful.
~
“So what do you think a girl like Uraraka would like?” Denki asks thoughtfully when Bakugou returns from his impromptu swimming match against Todoroki with parts of his body still encased in ice.
It’s the hottest day of the year, and the UA faculty has granted class 2-A a leisure day at the beach as a reward for good behavior (not getting involved in villain attacks for once). Denki is lying comfortably on a reclining beach chair and charging everyone’s phones while they’re off having fun. Somewhere on his left Kouda and Shouji are busy building sandcastles. On his right, Mineta gets attacked by a bunch of seagulls for most likely looking like a potential snack. And directly from him, the girls are partaking in a game of volleyball. One team is lead by Ashido and the other by Uraraka, and every time Uraraka’s team scores a point the air fills with loud cheers and whistles from both Midoriya and Iida who are standing on the sidelines, munching on huge portions of ice cream each.
“Flowers certainly seem to be the most striking option. Isn’t it safe to assume the fairer sex would naturally be drawn to things of beauty?” Tokoyami says when it’s clear Denki isn’t getting his question answered, and flips a page in his travel-sized copy of the ‘Dark Arts’. He’s positioned himself under a big gothic-looking sunshade when they’ve first arrived at the beach and hasn’t moved from there since.
“Yah, fowehrs ah kwool,” Denki garbles around a mouthful of charging cables, and immediately, Bakugou stops drying himself with his towel three meters away from where they’re sitting.
“You idiots, you can’t just assume things!” He snaps around to glare at them, and Denki is caught in the splash-zone and ends up getting sprayed by water droplets from his hair. “If you don’t want people to only ever tolerate your shitty gifts, you need to put more effort into thinking about what they actually like!”
“Well, it would appear she is partial to pink garments…” Tokoyami says.
“An' she wooks up to Midowiyah an' oh-ways goth on abouth how she wan's tho be wike him…” Denki slurs absently.
“And Midoriya harbors a particular liking for…”
“All Might!” Bakugou calls like he’s just figured out the best tactic he can use to win in a fight.
At that moment Midoriya drops his ice cream cone on the sand and several things happen at once. The girls put a stop to their game, Hagakure and Uraraka dramatically drop to their knees to mourn his loss, and before Yaoyorozu can finish her offer to buy him another serving, Bakugou throws a couple of bills at the frightened ice cream vendor on the other side of the beach and stomps over to Midoriya in order to thrust an All Might shaped creamsicle in his face with a grunt.
“Th-thanks, Kacchan.” Midoriya blushes furiously and crosses his eyes to look at the ice cream presented to him. “That’s very thoughtful of you. But I actually tried it before and I don’t really like how it tastes, s-so you should eat it yourself!”
Bakugou stares at Midoriya for a while, then at the creamsicle in his hand, then at Midoriya again. Then he shoves the entire thing in his mouth and swallows it.
“Ah fuck!” Bakugou screams a second later as he topples over to the ground, grasping his head.
“K-Kacchan!” Midoriya is instantly all over him, along with Yaoyorozu and Iida, who completely freaks out and starts waving his arms in all directions, shouting commands at the rest of their classmates:
“Mayday! Mayday! Quick, get some help! Call a medic! Inform the authorities! Tell Aizawa-sensei a student has just collapsed in the middle of the day and we’re in need of immediate assistance!”
Denki watches as Asui sets off to look for a teacher and Midoriya holds Bakugou tearfully in his arms, the cries of “Please don’t die, Kacchan!” echoing throughout the beach like some kind of desperate prayer.
“Damn, it wooked pwetty yummy. I kinda wan' one now,” Denki mumbles to himself amidst all the chaos, gnawing on a charging cable at the front of his mouth.
“I was just gonna go buy myself something. I can get one for you if you want,” a voice says almost in Denki’s ear, and it scares him so much that everyone’s phone batteries shoot up to one hundred percent and start vibrating in his lap. He spits the cables out to squeal, “Oh my God, dude! You gotta stop doing that!”
“S-sorry! Do you still want me to get you something?” Kirishima bites on his lip, looking much like a kicked puppy again, and it takes Denki a little longer than what’s considered normal to give him an answer. “Thanks,” he says. “But I don’t have any money left.”
“Don’t worry about it!” Kirishima shoots him a toothy grin, completely forgetting he’s supposed to look guilty. “I’ll pay for you and you can return the favor whenever.”
There’s not much arguing after that; Kirishima buys him the All Might creamsicle and they spend what’s left of their short vacation burying each other in the sand and goofing off with the rest of the class. Midoriya sticks to Bakugou’s side the entire time to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself again, and Bakugou looks especially smug at the end of the day when he chooses to sit next to him on the bus.
A little over half an hour later when they pass through the campus gates and head back toward the dorms, Denki glances down at Kirishima’s peaceful drooling face on his shoulder and smiles.
He thinks he kinda understands why Bakugou feels so pleased with himself now.
~
“Yo guys! Guess who I am — arf!” Denki lets watery whipped cream drip down his chin as he turns around with an exaggerated snarl, spitting white foam everywhere. They’re in the middle of Home Rec and he’s just wasted half of what was supposed to go in his delicious strawberry roll cake in favor of getting it all over his shirt. Well, the cream wasn’t really good to begin with, and he’s pretty sure the batter has caught fire in the oven like ten minutes ago, anyway.
“Dude, he can totally see you!” Kirishima slaps a hand over his mouth to hold in a snort. Ashido, on the other hand, doubles over with a full belly laugh and has to hide behind Kirishima to avoid getting spotted by Hound Dog at the front of the class. Luckily, it seems like he’s too focused on helping Aoyama with his mini cheese theme park to pay them any mind.
“Not cool, you guys,” Sero shakes his head as he joins the group near Denki’s workstation, “You should show more respect to our hard-earning teachers. What would Thirteen say when they find out you’re bullying the substitute?” Sero slams his hands on the counter and stares all of them down, then a shit-eating grin overtakes his features and he buries his face in the bowl of whipped cream, barking and gnashing his teeth.
“Stop, I’m going to pee!” Ashido grabs Kirishima’s sleeve as to not fall to the floor, and he himself abandons all notions of politeness and starts giggling freely. “That’s really mean, you guys!”
Jirou rolls her eyes from her own workstation beside Denki’s. “You two are the worst.”
“Oh, c’mon, I see you smiling over there!” Denki flings whipped cream at her. Sero gives him a fist-bump and returns to work on his own barely distinguishable sweet concoction while Iida screams at him about proper kitchen etiquette and the importance of keeping school equipment clean.
“You know that white cream almost looks lik—” Mineta doesn’t get to finish his sentence because Bakugou pushes him off in order to get situated in the table across from Denki.
“Out of my way, small fry!” Bakugou finishes tying a black apron around his waist and starts rearranging ingredients and utensils on his counter.
“Back from another one of your dates?” Denki glances at Midoriya who’s just entered the classroom after Bakugou and is currently washing his hands in the front.
“T’was about school,” Bakugou grunts noncommittally, and before Denki can tease him some more, Midoriya saunters toward them with his usual shoddily-made apron and too tight hair net that’s seconds away from bursting and exposing his curls.
“Hi everyone! Did we miss anything while we were out?”
“Just that I ruined the only food I was going to have since dinner yesterday.” Denki draws a sad face with whipped cream on a measuring cup.
“Seriously?” Bakugou glares at him. “You always bitch about not gaining enough muscles. Newsflash, stupid: you need to fucking eat for that to happen!”
“Oh, don’t be so harsh on him, Kacchan,” Midoriya says. “I haven’t eaten since yesterday, either. I was too deep into studying and I guess I just forgot to feed myself. I’m sure it’s the same for Kaminari-kun.”
“Yeah, studying. That’s totally my excuse too,” Denki mumbles.
“What?” Bakugou looks at Midoriya with that ugly gremlin expression he has on whenever something deeply bothers him. “You didn’t say anything about not eating earlier.”
Midoriya shrugs. “You didn’t ask.” He quickly focuses his attention on Satou who calls for him from a few tables down:
“Midoriya, I just finished baking my chiffon cake! Come have a taste!”
“Okay!” Midoriya says cheerfully and skips in Satou’s direction. He barely manages to lift the generous slice Satou has cut for him when a knife shoots from the other side of the room and splatters it on the wall behind them.
“You ain’t having fuckin’ cake for your first meal of the day,” Bakugou growls. “Sit down, I’m making you some proper food. You too, Pikachu.” He points another knife at Denki threateningly.
“Whatever you say, person with a potential murder weapon.” Denki puts his hands in front of his chest.
Bakugou smirks at him and twirls the knife expertly between his fingers. “Hey, consider this another lesson. You wanna be a good boyfriend? Learn how to be more capable. Ya ain’t worth shit if you can’t even clean or cook for yourself.”
In minutes, Bakugou has three pots and two pans sitting on the stove, each cocking with different delicious-smelling foods.
“Is he even human?” Shouji asks as Bakugou sprinkles spices and pours down liquids in a flurry of hands, somehow simultaneously managing to turn out chopped vegetables like a factory line and flip two pans at once.
“Where did he even get that meat from? Wasn’t it supposed to be dessert day?” Ojiro adds with a slightly concerned tone when Bakugou kicks the oven close with his foot and starts covering strips of pork with a coating of egg and bread crumbs and throwing them into a third pan.
“He’s utilizing the special conjuring technique, ‘Fury of the Chef’,” Tokoyami mutters to himself from a shadowy corner.
Asui nods in agreement. “Bakugou-chan really is amazing. I’ve never seen someone aggressively care for other people before.”
As she says that, Bakugou finishes setting down an entire table of restaurant-worthy dishes, and wipes his hands on his apron. “Come get your food while it’s hot, assholes!” he declares with a smug grin. Everyone immediately emerges from each of their stations to salivate over the feast.
“How very thoughtful of you, Bakugou-san!” Yaoyorozu clasps her hands in delight. Hagakure jumps up and down impatiently, “Can we really eat everything?”
“It’s not poisoned, is it?” Todoroki asks.
“Yes, you can eat wherever the hell you want. And no, it’s not fucking poisoned, idiot! If I wanted to kill you I wouldn’t go about it in such a coward ass way!”
“Well, it’s free food!” Uraraka seals the deal with a cheery smile and everyone starts digging in.
Denki chooses himself a juicy looking piece of glazed meat to chew on, but as soon as he bites down on it his face becomes incredibly hot and he begins to sweat.
“What the heck, dude?!” He spits out the food, feeling his tongue burn with an intensity akin to hellfire itself. All around him, everyone seems to be doing the same. “Did you dump in a truckload of peppers or something?“
“No, just the usual amount.” Bakugou frowns. “What, you guys can’t handle a little bit of heat?”
“A little bit?!” Iida dabs the sweat off his forehead with a disposable dishcloth. “Bakugou-kun, I’m beginning to suspect Todoroki-kun was indeed correct in his assumption and this whole thing might as well be an attempt at mass homicide!”
“‘S sho dewicious, Kwah-shan!” Midoriya says around a mouthful of food. He’s the only one still making an effort to eat, shoveling dish after dish into his mouth and crying profusely while doing it, too. “You ewhen wade my fwave-wo-eeht! I wuv it!”
“See, Deku likes it!” Bakugou clenches his fists at his sides.
“Yeah, I wonder why…” Uraraka says before running toward one of the sinks in the front to submerge her face under a stream of cold water. Denki decides to follow her, and drinks straight from the faucet to cool down his tongue.
“Hey, I think I have something that might help.” There’s a tap on Denki’s shoulder and he turns around to see Kirishima holding a large thermos. He immediately chugs it down half-way and wipes off the excess liquid from the corners of his mouth.
“Shit, that’s pretty good. What’s in this?”
“Just a protein shake,” Kirishima says. “Strawberry flavored, actually. I found a few unopened jars when I tidied up my room yesterday. Washed the floors, polished the furniture and organized everything in my closet. Y’know, the entire shebang or however that phrasing goes.”
“Wow, you actually did all that?” Denki stares down at his drink with newfound appreciation. “I can’t think of the last time I vacuumed my carpet.”
Kirishima laughs and rubs the back of his neck. “Since we’re going to be heroes and all I figured I should try acting more responsible. You know, so I can take better care of people.”
“Well,” Denki places his hand on Kirishima’s shoulder with a lopsided grin, “you’re already taking excellent care of me! So really, you shouldn’t worry too much.”
Kirishima’s cheeks suddenly turn bright red and his eyes widen to an almost comical degree.
“You okay, dude?” Denki gestures broadly at his own face. “I think Bakugou’s cooking might still be in effect.”
“I-I’m fine! It’s just a little warm in here a-and I think I-I have to pee. Y-yeah, exactly! Pee! I need to go to the bathroom right now! Like, right now! Goodbye!” Kirishima darts out of the classroom faster than Hound Dog can stop him, and Denki turns toward Jirou who’s still trying to whisk some eggs into something mildly edible next to him.
“What’s his deal?” he asks with a laugh and points over his shoulder to the general direction Kirishima escaped from.
Jirou rolls her eyes at him. “Guys are so stupid.”
“Hey! What did I do this time?” Denki pouts.
“Nothing. Nothing is what you did.”
~
“Kacchan, look! They have the limited edition All Might kneaded eraser from the ‘ Smash Those Grades’ ad campaign that ran for two months ten years ago!”
“Ha, stop lying, nerd. They can’t possibly have tha— no fucking way!”
“I know, right?!”
Denki leans back on the wall across from Bakugou and Midoriya and sighs for what seems like the hundredth time. It’s just like them to drag him to some geeky hero merch store on their only free day of the week, while everyone else is off doing way better things. Well, it’s mostly Bakugou’s fault, really. He just had to insist on teaching Denki another one of his lessons, and of course, Midoriya had to get involved in it again like he always does.
This time Bakugou tried to preach to him about ‘showing interest in your partner’s hobbies even if you couldn’t give less of a shit about them’. But by the look of things, Bakugou, in fact, gave plenty of shits about his partner’s hobbies.
Way too many shits, Denki thinks as he sneaks another peek at his watch. He promised to meet up with Kirishima on the other side of the mall almost ten minutes ago, but that was when Bakugou was still trying to show him how to flirt or whatever. Now it doesn’t seem like he even remembers that he exists. Maybe Denki should just walk out?
“I’m gonna go now if that’s cool with you two,” Denki says as he slowly moonwalks toward the exit. Bakugou just grunts at him but Midoriya actually turns around to tell him a proper goodbye.
That’s all the signs Denki needs, then he’s running like a madman across the entire first floor to his and Kirishima’s meeting place.
“Kaminari!” Kirishima waves at Denki when he spots him in the crowd. “I almost thought you were never gonna show up.”
“Sorry, Bakugou happened,” Denki says, short of breath, and Kirishima laughs knowingly.
“Are we still up to meet Jirou at that music place?” Kirishima asks when Denki finally stops dry heaving and stands up straight.
“Huh?“ Denki looks at him quizzically. “I thought you wanted to look at some weight lifting stuff first?”
“Nah, that can wait. I much rather jam to some improv sessions with you and Jirou, honestly.”
“Really? Why?”
“I just…” Kirishima looks sideways and scratches his cheek. “I like hearing you two talk about that stuff. It’s really fun to see people be passionate about something they love.”
Denki eyes Kirishima quietly for a few seconds, then shrugs and folds his arms behind his head. “I guess we can always look at training equipment on the way back.”
“Yeah, we totally can!” Kirishima’s smile at that moment rivals that of every All Might figure back in the merch store.
~
“Watch out, man!” Tetsutetsu shouts as Denki barely evades another one of Tsunotori’s horn projectiles. He was pretty determined to prove himself today in front of class 2-B. Especially after he had that talk with Bakugou at the locker room about how the most attractive quality in a potential partner is their strength as a hero.
Well, that’s completely out of the question now, isn’t it? He somehow managed to deflect his own attack from Tetsutetsu’s skin and zap himself stupid when they were trying to ambush the other team, and now Tetsutetsu has no other choice but to protect him and their flag at the same time. So much for being ‘the best damn hero that ever was’ or whatever. He can’t even help himself, not to mention other people.
Tsunotori sends another wave of horns in Denki’s direction, and Tetsutetsu jumps in front of him and hardens his skin to block her attack.
“Hold on just a little longer, man! We can still win this!” he says with a slight strain to his voice, his back muscles bulging distractingly as he plants his feet in the ground to brace against Tsunotori’s horns.
It may just be his loopy brain speaking, but suddenly Denki can’t suppress the thought of how damn perfectly Tetsutetsu fits his ideal type in guys: Chivalrous, manly. A good friend with a kind heart, handsome face, and a banging bod. Generally hard . He nearly ticks all the boxes!
Now if only his teeth weren’t so straight and his hair was a little more on the pointy, flashy side…
“Kaminari!” Tetsutetsu drops to his knees in front of Denki and covers his body to shield him from another attack.
“My, my, Mr. Hunky Metal Man. Aren’t you so strong?” Denki purrs up at him and squeezes his bicep. Which, ouch. Because, of course, he’s in his iron state still.
“Wh-what?” Tetsutetsu flushes, and Denki giggles dumbly and cups his cheek in his palm. “You just saved me! You’re my hero~”
Tetsutetsu opens his mouth to retaliate, but then something else catches his attention and he stumbles into a standing position just in time to defend against Kirishima as he comes barreling into him from behind.
“You shouldn’t be talking in the middle of a fight,” Kirishima all but spits in Tetsutetsu’s face. If Denki didn’t know any better, he would say he looks kinda bitter.
“That’s dirty, Tsunotori! You used our special move!” Tetsutetsu bewails as he tries to push Kirishima back.
Tsunotori’s disembodied voice chuckles somewhere close by. “Sorry, Tetsu, but it can’t be smelt!”
“It’s ‘it can’t be helped’, not ‘smelt’! ” Tetsutetsu grits out and knees Kirishima in the stomach.
“Is it?”Just then, a loud crack sounds overhead and a huge rock comes sailing down from where one of Tsunotori’s horns has lodged itself in the nearest boulder to Denki’s left.
“Kaminari, man!” “Denki!” Tetsutetsu and Kirishima scream at the same time.
“Shit,” Denki says, and right before he’s made his peace with his inevitable demise and lies down to die, a hard body cages him down to the ground and chunks of jagged rock ricochet everywhere when the boulder crashes against the other person’s back. “Are you alright?” Kirishima asks breathlessly on top of Denki when he blinks and regains his sight. There’s blood dripping from his head and onto Denki’s face, and he’s shaking all over, but it doesn’t seem like he registers any of that.
“Yay, we won! Kiri-san, we won!” Tsunotori’s voice drifts from above, and Denki sees her waving a blue flag over her head, then hears Tetsutetsu cursing loudly, “Damn you, Tsunotori! You totally tricked us!”
“Did I?”
“You’re bleeding,” Denki whispers up at Kirishima. He doesn’t know why he can’t bring himself to raise his voice more than that, just that it feels the most appropriate right now.
“Oh? I didn’t notice,” Kirishima says and paws at the steady trickle of red on his cheek. “Are you hurt anywhere?”
Denki shakes his head.
“Good.” Kirishima smiles. He drops his forehead to Denki’s shoulder with a sigh and stays there for a long time.
“Kirishima?” Denki tries to nudge him when Aizawa and Vlad King call for them to withdraw. “Kirishima? Dude? Don’t tell me you just passed out. You totally did, didn’t you? Oh, great. Does that mean I have to carry you to the infirmary now?”
~
When Denki eventually returns to the fighting grounds from the infirmary, Bakugou and Kendou have already begun their match against Midoriya and Monoma.
“How’s Kiri?” Sero asks him as he sits between him and Ojiro on the bleachers.
“Got a minor concussion. Recovery Girl said he just needs to rest for a bit. Did I miss anything good while I was gone?”
“Not much,” Ojiro says, not even blinking when Denki starts stroking his tail. “They started just a few minutes ago.”
Sero cackles into his hand at that. “Oh, man! You should’ve been here to see it! Monoma was freaking monologuing all crazy like about how he was finally gonna bring Bakugou down, then Bakugou straight up ignored him and went to fight Midoriya instead! Pretty sure he had a mini mental breakdown when that happened.”
As if to emphasize what Sero has just said, Bakugou decides to shout like a maniac:
“I’m gonna destroy your lil’ ass, Deku! Gonna pound you so fuckin’ hard you won’t be able to move for months!”
“Oh, yeah?” Midoriya taunts. “I’d like to see you try, Kacchan!”
“Man,” Denki shakes his head with a grimace, “Do they even realize how that sounds?”
“I never suspected Bakugou’s tastes to run in that direction,” Mineta says from a seat below Denki’s. Huh. Funny how he hasn’t noticed him until just now.
“I mean, it’s pretty obvious.“ Sero chuckles again.
Ojiro hums and nods his head. “He’s never shown interest in girls. Or anyone, really. Well, except for Midoriya, of course.”
They all sigh.
“Think he’s gonna tell him soon?” Denki asks Sero as Bakugou and Midoriya continue to exchange blows in the center of the arena, creating a tornado of smoke and green lightning whichever they move. It doesn’t seem like they even remember that the mission isn’t to actually defeat each other in a fight but to capture the rival team’s flag.
“When are you gonna tell him?” Sero asks Denki right back.
“Tell who?” Denki blinks. “Midoriya?”
Sero gives him a judgemental look. He then shakes his head and returns to watching the fight with an amused smile. “Dude, you really are hopeless. Like I thought Bakugou was bad enough, but you’re a whole other level of oblivious.”
“Oblivious? What do you mean? Oblivious to what?” Denki pouts and shakes Sero’s arm, but Sero only laughs at him louder.
“Figure it out on your own.”
~
“Aren’t you watching the movie with us?” Denki asks Bakugou later that evening when he catches him putting on his shoes at the genkan.
“Can’t,” Bakugou replies hastily, “told Deku to meet me at the gym in five minutes.”
“Oh, are you finally going to tell him?”
“Tell him what?”
“That you like him.”
“Hah?!” Bakugou fists Denki’s shirt and pins him up against the wall faster than he can even blink. “Me, liking Deku?! Where the hell did ya get that from?!”
“C-calm down! Jeez!” Denki tries to speak properly and avoid Bakugou’s spittle from getting all over his face. “I’m just saying, you’ve been buttering him up for days now! Weren’t you planning to eventually confess?”
“The hell?” Bakugou snarls at him and tightens his grip. “I don’t remember ‘buttering up’ anyone! Ya sure you got your head screwed on right?”
“B-but your flirting lessons or whatever!” Denki argues panically. “You chose to demonstrate on Midoriya in all of them!”
Bakugou scowl grows deeper. “Those were just examples!” he barks. “And I didn’t choose him every time!”
“Um, but you did?”
“It’s not my fault he’s always following me around! Who else was I supposed to be fuckin’ flirting with?”
“Literally anyone else at school?”
“Fuck.” Bakugou loosens his hold on Denki’s shirt and he falls back to the floor on wobbly legs.
“Bakugou?” Denki glances at Bakugou as he finishes tying his shoes with a determined expression and goes to exit the dorm.
“Tell Glasses not to wait up on us,” Bakugou says blankly before shutting the doors with a resounding bang and bounding down the entrance stairs.
“Where is Bakugou-kun?” Iida asks Denki when he’s about to enter the common room a minute later.
“He said him and Midoriya won’t be back for a while.”
Iida sighs. “A while? I very much hope they don’t plan on breaking the curfew for the third time this month.”
“Who knows.” Denki shrugs. “It’s Bakugou and Midoriya we’re talking about. Maybe they’d get involved in another villain attack and get transported to a different timeline or something.”
“Please don’t say such things, Kaminari-kun!” Iida exclaims and ends up sighing again when Denki snickers at him. “Here, take this inside. I’ll be back shortly with more beverages.” Iida hands him a bowl of popcorn and marches back toward the kitchen.
“Who’s ready to have some capital F Fun?!” Ashido calls excitedly as Denki flops down beside Jirou on the couch.
“Oh! Me, me!” Kirishima raises his hand enthusiastically across from them. Denki chuckles at him and Kirishima gives him a thumbs up. His bandages look way less scary now with all their friends around.
“I hope you’ve all brushed up on your French, mes amis.” Aoyama stands in front of the television and waves the remote like a scepter. “Because we have quite the dazzling selection for you toni—”
“We’re gonna watch a bunch of pretentious black and white foreign films!” Ashido cuts him off with a big ‘whoot’, then joins Uraraka and Asui on the floor, who follow her chant, laughing. Aoyama clicks his mouth shut with a dejected little frown and goes to sit next to Shouji and Kouda on the other side of the carpet.
From that point on, everyone competes over who can talk the loudest until Iida returns with an armful of sodas and places them on the coffee table with the rest of the snacks. Yaoyorozu looks around the room once he's done. “Is everyone here?”
“Aside from the usual absentees, it would seem so, yes,” Iida says.
“You shouldn’t worry so much, Class Rep. It gives you wrinkles.” Sero grabs for a sweet herbal tea and clinks it against Denki’s energy drink, slumping back against his armchair. “Now let’s get this party started!”
~
It all comes to a very predictable end when Denki stalks back to the common room in the middle of the night in search of his missing jacket. Ever since the joint training with class 2-B this morning he’s been feeling kinda restless, so no wonder he couldn’t manage more than extremely short fragments of sleep before a weird fluttery sensation in his gut woke him up for the nth time.
Denki’s stomach does another strange flip as he blearily shuffles toward where he sat with Jirou earlier during the marathon. All the lights are out and he’s still only marginally awake, so it’s only halfway to his destination that he takes notice of the noises. There’s heavy breathing, the clear rustle of clothes, and a distinct wet sound that instantly bulldozes through the remainder of his drowsiness.
“Ka-Kacchan...” a familiar voice gasps softly in the dark, and Denki doesn’t expect anything else when he flips the light switch on only to be greeted with Bakugou looming over a very flushed Midoriya on the couch, practically mauling his neck, if the multiple bite marks that litter it all the way down to Midoriya’s clavicles are of any indication.
Sure, it was kinda obvious this sort of thing would happen eventually, but it still doesn't stop Denki from shrieking in horror and slapping his palms over his ears like a petulant child.
“My eyes! My poor virgin eyes! Why the heck are you guys having sex at two AM in the morning?! And where everyone can walk in at any time?! Y’know, I sat on that couch! I always sit on that couch! Oh my God! Oh my God! You’re fucking shirtless. I’m gonna go blind.”
“Shut the fuck up, dumbass! I’m gonna fucking murder you!” Bakugou roars and hurls a throw pillow at Denki's face.
Midoriya uses the chance Bakugou stops pinning his arms above his head to curl them around himself in embarrassment. “Aaaah! I-I’m s-so s-s-sorry, K-Kaminari-kun!”
“Wait, does this mean you actually confessed?” Denki asks, cautiously uncovering his ears.
“No. Obviously I go around marking every other shitty nerd that falls into my lap,” Bakugou says dryly.
“Kacchan!” Midoriya kicks Bakugou a little too hard and he bangs against the other end of the couch with a burst of green sparks. “You little shi—” Bakugou reaches to grab Midoriya’s leg, but then he just grumbles and continues putting on his tank top with a defeated frown.
“Yes, he did confess!” Midoriya says dreamily as he straightens up on the tousled cushions with his ‘workout shirt’ T-shirt (thankfully) back on. “It was totally unexpected but so very sweet! I was so touched! He even cried a little when he told m—hmphhh! ”
Bakugou clamps his hand over Midoriya’s mouth to shut him up, then gets up from the couch and slings him over his right shoulder. “We’re gonna be in my room,” he says as he turns away from Denki and walks toward the hallway. “Don’t fucking disturb us. Unless ya plannin’ on becoming mincemeat.”
“He’s a little shy,” Midoriya tries to whisper over Bakugou’s shoulder and gets a swat on his butt in return.
“Wanna get your ass dropped?” Bakugou warns.
Midoriya giggles and raises his eyebrow playfully. “I can walk just fine on my own, you know?”
“Yeah, and you can also carry me if you wanted. But you ain’t gonna. Won’t be doing anything that I don’t directly tell you to. Right, Izuku?”
Midoriya buries his face in Bakugou’s shoulder with an unmistakable whimper, and Denki gets his ass the fuck out of there before Bakugou can detail all the other things he is going to do t— for Midoriya.
Yeah, for. He’s totally just going to make him a nice cup of tea then tuck him nicely into bed. Yup, no other activities would be taking place in said bed. None at all.
Denki lets himself loiter around the kitchen for a bit before going back to sleep. He finishes inhaling half of his secret candy stash and stuffing the rest in his jacket, then he waddles in the direction of the elevator and presses the third-floor button.
“Hmm?” The elevator doors open with a quiet ding and Denki almost bites off his tongue at the sight of a suspicious squirmy bundle next to his room. Luckily for him, he’s been chewing on some gummies on his ride up so he only bleeds a little.
“Hi,” Kirishima says from his blanket cocoon once Denki ceases weeping in sheer agony and actually looks at him. “Can I crash at yours tonight? My neighbor’s got a guest over and they’re being a little… loud.”
“Shore, mahn,” Denki says. He unlocks his door and produces a chocolate bar from his jacket when Kirishima collapses into one of his zebra loungers.
“Thanks.” Kirishima smiles and takes the candy. “Today was kinda rough, huh?”
Denki groans and starfishes on his bed. “I don’t think I can handle being that guy’s best friend anymore.”
“Who? Bakugou?” Kirishima laughs. “I didn’t know you considered him your best friend.”
“What? Are you gonna say you’re his best friend or something? Because you can’t. I already decided I’m going to be the best man at his wedding and wear a kickass luxury suit that matches his eyes.”
“Ah, no,” Kirishima says. “Aren’t we best friends? Also, you can always be Midoriya’s best man instead.”
“You’re forgetting Class President.”
“Hmm, right. You know what? Being best man isn’t probably whole that, anyway. There’s ton of responsibilities. I’m sure you’ll even feel relieved when Bakugou chooses me in the end.”
Denki turns his head lazily to glare at Kirishima, then he starts laughing uncontrollably and presses a forearm to his eyelids.
“Oh man, who am I kidding?” he sobs. “I fucking sucked today! Why would Bakugou want me anywhere near him when I’m nothing but a liability? All I do is complain and annoy everyone. I’m never going to become a Pro if I continue acting like a clown!”
“Hey, that’s not true!” Kirishima calls. “You’re amazing! You’re going to become a great hero! You already are!”
“I thought I learned how to control it,” Denki says in a small voice. “But all it took was one little distraction and I became useless again.” He feels his tears sliding back into his hair and soaking through the sheets bellow. “I’ll never be anything more than a comedic sidekick.”
“You’re wrong!” Kirishima says almost angrily. He wrenches Denki’s arm away from his face and stares down at him with resolute, shining eyes. “Everything you just said — it’s what makes you so manly! You never let things like failure get you down! Even if you joke around and complain sometimes, you try your best! You make everyone around you feel better because you don't take things too seriously! And you are strong! You are strong and care about your friends, and you save us all the time! I— I never hesitate when I’m with you!”
Kirishima takes a long shaky breath into his lungs, examining Denki with an unsteady gaze. “I never think when I’m with you, I just do," he says, blushing. “Because I know you’ll always be there to back me up and make everything not be so bad. And also because I— I don’t want to see you get hurt...”
“You sure it’s not because I’m so annoying you just wanna get the fight over with as fast as you can?”
Kirishima smiles crookedly. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
Denki sighs and covers his eyes again. “No wonder no one likes me. I’ve been going around faking confidence this entire time. They could probably smell it on me or something. Like, it's for sure someone’s quirk, right?”
“I like you,” Kirishima blurts out.
“Yeah, I know.” Denki chuckles. “We’re best buds and all, right?”
“No,” Kirishima removes Denki’s arm from his face again — gently this time. “I like you.”
“Oh,” Denki says.
“Yeah…”
Suddenly, Denki’s cheeks heat up and his heart beats loudly in his chest. He can’t suppress the thought of how damn perfectly Kirishima fits his ideal type in guys: Chivalrous, manly. A good friend with a kind heart, handsome face, and a banging bod. Generally hard . He even has cute shark teeth and ridiculous pointy hair. He ticks all the boxes!
“I like you too, I think."
“R-really?”
“Yeah…” Denki says. “Wanna… cuddle or something?” He pats a spot next to him on the mattress.
“S-sure!” Kirishima practically jumps onto the bed and wraps himself around Denki clumsily. Denki feels Kirishima’s warm breath puffing lightly against his cheek and his tense muscles pressing into his body. Their knees bump when Kirishima chooses to slide a leg between his, and Denki’s brain shuts down for a solid minute before he can manage to speak again:
“So how long has this thing being going on?”
“What thing?” Kirishima asks.
“Your… crush on me.”
“Oh. First semester maybe?”
“Of this year?”
“No…”
“O-oh. That’s a pretty long time then.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not like I was even aware that I had a crush on you back then. Just that I really liked hanging out and I felt happy whenever we were together.”
It’s uncomfortably silent for the next few minutes, then Denki shoots up on the bed and looks at Kirishima.
“Wanna play Super Street Combatant?” he asks.
Kirishima chuckles in relief. “Yeah, let’s do that.”
“Ei.” Denki grabs Kirishima’s arm before he can fully scramble off of the bed. Kirishima turns to look at him with a curious hum, and he takes that opportunity to lean down and connect their lips.
Denki sighs. It’s clear neither of them is very experienced in this whole kissing thing, but his stomach still fills with butterflies when Kirishima slots his mouth against his and brushes his knuckles oh-so tenderly against his cheek. The butterflies grow when he pulls on Kirishima’s bottom lip and licks experimentally into his mouth, getting a throaty moan as a reward.
Kirishima laces his fingers in Denki’s hair and yanks on it a little to press them closer to each other, then he tries sucking on Denki’s tongue and the butterflies in Denki’s stomach flutter frantically and spread to his entire body, then—
Bzzzt!
“Ouch!” Kirishima groans and separates from Denki to take off his singed shirt. His once relaxed hair now stands in every direction like its day-time counterpart.
“S-sorry,” Denki says. “This is kinda my first time doing something like that. So…”
“Wait,” Kirishima stops rubbing soot off of his face to look at him with way too big of a smile, “I’m your first kiss?”
Denki flushes. “Isn’t it your first too?”
Kirishima presses his mouth into a hard line and stares at him blankly. “Bakugou wanted the practice.”
“Oh my God, dude! I really didn’t need to hear about that!”
“I kid, I kid! It was Mina.” Kirishima raises his hands calmingly before Denki can work himself into another electrical fault. “But I did catch Bakugou looking up kissing tutorials that one time...”
“Mhmm, okay, awesome. I’m calling dibs on Crimson Riot!” Denki slams his pillow in Kirishima's face and trips all over himself to get down in front of the TV.
“No fair, man!” Kirishima whines. “You know he’s my favorite! Don’t you want to be Miruko instead? You like her better anyway and she has far more varied attacks for a close-range character!”
“Yeah, whatever, you nerd. Maybe I just think Crimson Riot’s hot.”
Kirishima's ears look like they're burning when he joins him on the floor, and Denki feels brave so he pecks him on his cheek just to watch that red spread to the rest of his face.
On Denki’s third consecutive win, Kirishima puts down his controller with a pout and calls cheating. Denki kisses him again, and the game is easily forgotten. They end up sprawled over Denki’s cheetah print carpet, scarfing down candies and talking about everything and nothing right up until the buildings of Heights Alliance take back shape in the early morning light.
Good thing it’s the start of the weekend or else they’d probably have to answer to one of Aizawa’s punishments for being late to class. Again...
“Guess I didn’t need flirting advice after all.” Denki snickers and leans back on Kirishima’s abs with his hands behind his head.
Kirishima yawns. “Yeah, but I did…” he whispers, twirling a strand of Denki’s hair idly.
“Huh?” Denki turns to question Kirishima, but he’s already snoring soundly, his hand still tangled in Denki’s hair and the other buried deep in a bag of honey-flavored cookies.
Denki thinks back to the last few days, and how Kirishima has treated him. It didn’t seem like anything special at the time — just classic nice Kiri being a good friend — but now that he’s got a confession out of him, everything suddenly falls into place.
“You were trying to flirt with me?” Denki chuckles and boops Kirishima’s nose amusedly. He’s already started drooling on himself and his hair is even messier than it was when he got electrocuted.
Denki drags down the poofy comforter from his bed and positions his head carefully on top of the discarded pillow from earlier. He covers both of them with the comforter and snuggles into Kirishima’s chest, feeling his heartbeat thump steadily in his ear as he slowly drifts into sleep.
“I guess Bakugou’s lessons weren't completely useless, huh?”