Chapter Text
Steven James Hyde never slept well.
Of course, looking at him you would have never guessed. Sure, sometimes he had some bags under his eyes. To be expected after late night circles.
Hyde never really remembered sleeping well.
When he was a kid, maybe 5 or 6, he would wake to the sounds of yelling. Screaming and fighting about nothing and everything. His mother and father would stand in various rooms throughout their cruddy house, not yet as destroyed as it would later be, and yell at each other. Hyde would sometimes listen as Edna called Bud a deadbeat and Bud would call Edna a whore.
They were both right, but that didn't make the yelling better.
He would take to covering his head with the pillows and blankets he had on top of his little matress. Humming made up songs to himself to try and keep out the horrible crash as dishes were thrown around the house.
It was eerily quite after Bud left.
That didn't mean that Hyde slept any better. The few days of quite following his father's abandonment left him sweating in his small room. He didn't sleep at all.
That was the first time he met Eric. Maybe the reason they ever became friends. Hyde was so tired from staying up, waiting for something to happen, that he fell asleep at his desk.
He woke to Forman shaking him awake. "You okay?" He had asked. "You fell asleep two hours ago. School's over."
He never said why he was so tired, but he kind of thinks that Forman figured it out by himself. Especially after they walked to his house together.
It wasn't till a week later that Hyde wished he'd taken advantage of the silent nights.
His mom would come home drunk, more drunk than he had ever witnessed. Drunk and yelling and fists swinging. She'd hit him, hit him hard enough to bruse. She was drunk, but always knew not to hit him in obvious places. The noticable places.
He never told Forman about that either, but Eric somehow knew that too.
He would stay with Eric as long as he could. He'd stay until Red came clomping down the stairs yelling, "Eric! Your friends better be out of my house in five seconds!"
It still wasn't long enough.
When he cried she hit him harder. Yelled that she had a no good, bastard of a son. That he was the reason for all her misfortunes. He sobbed in his bed that night. She had hurt him more than usual.
He never cried after that.
It slowly became less worse as Hyde figured out her schedule. What time was a good time to come home. Edna would be passed out on the couch and he'd sneak to his room, unscathed as long as he didn't wake her. He sometimes did.
Sleep still didn't come easy. He was safe from Edna's fists, but nightmares haunted him in her place.
He'd sometimes dream that she'd wake up, and had come to find him.
Other times Forman hated his guts. Never wanted to be his friend again. Didn't protect him from his mother's rage, and he was forced to go back home to her again.
Because that's what Eric was doing, protecting Hyde from Edna. Maybe Forman knew that too.
He spent a lot of nights at the Forman's. Sleepovers with him, Forman, and Kelso. Was nice not to have to go home, didn't stop the nightmares though.
As he got older, Hyde's nightmares seemed to get worse. The more people he befriended, the more he had to loose, the more nightmares took place. Red kicking him to the street, Kitty turning her back on him, Donna finding him repulsive, Kelso hating him forever.
It was one of the reasons he wanted to get his own room when he moved in with the Formans. He'd jerk awake from restless dreams, sometimes waking Eric in the process. He didn't want him to know. So he moved to the basement.
His worst nightmares were of Jackie.
They started off small, not so much nightmares as bad dreams. He'd see her in the basement and she'd ignore him. She wouldn't give him a kiss goodbye, instead she'd sneer at him. She'd hit him when he'd try and give her a kiss. He realise how much he'd miss her.
They slowly became worse the more he fell in love with her, and man was he in love with her.
He would sometimes dream that she left him, that she realised that he wasn't good enough for her and took off. Never even told him she was leaving. The dreams would be so real and so cold that he'd wake up with wetness on his cheeks and the desperate urge to call her and make sure she was still there.
Other times she never existed at all. Those were vivid, too. Jackie never existed and Hyde was in jail and never knew he was missing something, something that made him whole.
The worst ones were when he hurt her. Those were the ones that felt the most real. He'd dream they had some stupid argument and he'd gotten so worked up. And SLAP! it would happen, just like that. He'd hit her, he hadn't meant to.
The shock, the hurt, the fear that came across her face made Hyde feel sick. So sick. She'd back away as he apologized, reaching out to her. Tears would stream down her face and she shake her head, desperatly trying to keep him away.
She'd call him a monster. Scream for him to get away from her. To leave her alone.
The dream always ended the same way. His friends would come running in. Donna would tuck Jackie under her arm, Fez stood in front of her. Hyde kept trying to see around him, to tell Jackie he was sorry. Kelso had this look on his face, one that Hyde had never seen before on him, rage. He told Hyde to never come back. Then Eric punched him in the face.
Hyde would always jerk awake, the dream leaving him teary eyed, sweaty, and nauseous. Sometimes he would throw up.
When Jackie would spend the nights, the dreams weren't as frequent, but they still happened.
He'd calm down, pull her closer to him. Breath in the sweet smell of her hair and promise himself he wouldn't loose her. Couldn't loose her. Because if he did, he didn't know what he would become.