Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The knife almost slashed her throat when blue eyes met green ones.

It was around lunchtime in the small market of Polis, the capital city of the coalition led by their heda Anya. The citizens of the city were ready to leave for lunch, closing their little shops for their break.

Lexa, the 20 years old brunette woman, was holding a knife against Clarke’s neck, the blonde rebel barely held on to the bread she was quick to grab. The brunette let out a shaky breath, her stronghold on the blonde loosened and she let her escape.

Clarke was calm, almost too calm, as she grabbed two more pieces of bread before turning on her heels and running towards her best friend. Octavia let out a loud breath when Clarke reached her side, a tear sliding down her cheek due to the tension, shaking her body.

“You could have killed her,” Lexa shook her head slightly at the words of her aunt, the owner of the shop “you should have killed her”

Lexa shrugged her shoulders in defeat, her green eyes meeting her aunt’s “I could have run off with her, too”

Octavia shook her head quickly as the two started running towards their friends, her fingers holding Clarke’s arm with fear. She was weak, she hated that. But losing Clarke would break her heart in ways she couldn’t handle, the mere thought of it made her stomach turn.

“that woman,” the blonde broke their awkward silence, turning to gaze at the brown-eyed woman she knew was watching her “she saved my life”

“she almost killed you for stealing a piece of bread, Clarke. I know that you were caught stealing, but it’s too harsh, don’t you think?” Octavia asked, her breathing uneven due to the subject of the conversation and their long run.

“Our friends were killed for doing less, Octavia” the blonde’s breathing was havier, she hasn’t trained in a while “she was looking at me almost apologetically”

The younger brunette gave up on the subject, nodding at the end of the street “Bell is waiting for us. We need to leave before your friend would regret letting you leave”

Clarke only nodded quickly, focusing on her running once again. The blonde knew better than to argue against Octavia’s words. Although their slight age difference, Clarke being the older one by a few months, Octavia was always in charge. Both girls liked the arrangement.

As soon as Bellamy spotted the two at the corner of the street, he let out a long sigh. He took Octavia in his arms, leaving a single peck on Clarke’s head in greeting.

“we almost lost this one” the younger Blake sister pushed Clarke into her brother's arms after he freed her from his grasp, in hope that the older boy would scold the blonde into a point where her mother wouldn’t have to.

“You have to stop risking your life like that, Clarke” he ran his fingers through her hair gently, making her sigh. They started walking again, Bellamy, as usual, was waiting for them in the middle of their way back to the van “we’re all grateful that you try, but dying over two pieces of bread is just twisted”

“If I won’t risk myself, who would?” her eyes gazing back towards the little bakery, secretly hoping that Octavia’s threat would come true and the green-eyed woman would appear.

“I will,” Octavia said easily, the warrior didn’t stop there, she punched Clarke's shoulder harshly, earning herself a groan in return “I’m trained to fight back, princess”

“your boyfriend would have killed me if something happened to you because I let you take my place,” the blonde walked passed the siblings, wishing for some peace and quiet.

“I will too,” the black-haired guy said quickly, before opening the door to the black van so the two would enter.

“I hope you got food, any food because I am starving” the driver caught the attention of the newcomers, making the young boy to her side pout childishly “maybe starving is too small of a word”

“just put some food in her mouth so she’d shut the hell up,” he mumbled tiredly, running his fingers through his dark brown hair “she started listing all the foods she would like to eat now, driving me over the edge”

Both Raven and Jasper felt more at home in the van, rather than their old homes. It used to be their place of escape but was too dirty to live in by now.
The group made sure to keep the car as homey as it used to be, both Raven’s necklace and Jasper’s goggles were hanging over the rearview mirror.

The driver started the car with a wide grin, only after receiving a piece of bread from the blonde girl.

“the woman in the shop almost killed Clarke” Octavia pulled on the driver’s hair, making her frown. Clarke, on the other hand, only rolled her eyes before leaning back against her seat.

“The emphasis is on the word almost, Reyes” the blonde shook her head, slightly pouting.

The driver tried to catch the blonde’s gaze through the mirror, Clarke avoiding her eyes at all cost “what the hell, Octavia? You promised you’d keep her safe”

“and here she is, alive and filled with joy,” the warrior said sarcastically, rolling her eyes before turning to her brother and asking silently for his help.

“Abby would have killed me if something had happened to her” the oldest girl mumbled tiredly, forgetting that she was surrounded by three teenagers and one childish 25 years old Bellamy Blake.

“yeah, for sure” Jasper nodded quickly, turning in his seat to meet Octavia’s gaze as the two started giggling “but only after sex”

“It was only one time” Raven shook her head, giving the group a small smirk. She knew that Clarke wasn’t comfortable with the subject, so they barely talked about it.

Raven had feelings for Abby since the day she understood what feelings meant, at all. She was 14, still dating Finn Collins, the boy next door. Abby was beautiful, smart and charming. Raven’s soft heart couldn’t handle lying to her boyfriend for long before the two broke up and Finn found himself falling for Clarke.

But after Raven’s 21st birthday, Abby finally started to take her as a mature adult, after 7 years of waiting, the two ended up sharing a bed. If you asked Raven, it was worth the wait. If you asked Abby, she was grateful that the girl waited.

Surprisingly, the blonde took the relationship better than she thought she would, being happy for her mother and best friend.

“maybe once a day” Bellamy teased, his famous smirk taking over his features as he ruffled Raven’s hair lovingly.

“We feel you, Reyes. Doctor Griffin is hot” the 25 years old guy couldn’t hold back his laughter at Jasper’s childish statement.

Octavia slapped the back of her best friend’s head, making him sigh loudly. Raven only shook her head with a grin “she’s mine, you know?”

Both guys whistled and Clarke felt obligated to cover both her ears, trying to ignore the low chuckling of her friends as Raven’s cheeks reddened. Octavia was fast to point at the driver’s cheeks.

“are you going to start calling Raven daddy now?” Bellamy beamed, all the group now laughing hysterically, including the blonde.

“grow up” Raven shook her head, remembering the reason they got to speak about Abby in the first place “can you tell me what happened, princess?”

“I wasn’t careful” Clarke shrugged easily “I went to grab bread and the woman grabbed me from my shirt. Nothing really happened, Reyes, believe me”

“How did you get away then? Did you do anything to her?” Jasper asked, all the jokes were left behind, losing Clarke was another level of pain he didn’t want to experience.

“she just let me go” the blonde shrugged, she was curious as to the reason it happened “she seemed to be debating herself”

“just like that? no cuts or any threats?” Bellamy scratched the back of his neck, more curious now that the girl was safely at his side.

“she did nothing,” Clarke said, closing the conversation easily.

The group fell silent. It wasn’t the first time the girl risked herself for their sake, but this time was too much. Octavia kept telling about the accident because she hoped that one of them could make sense of it for her. Even the warrior couldn’t bear losing another person by now.

“would you stop staring at me, please? The woman won’t show up and kill me, so you don’t have to memorize how I look so you can tell your children” the blonde waved her hands in front of the Blakes’ faces, her comment made Jasper smile “it’s not the first and not the last time I am risking my life to get food, so just get over yourselves”

They kept quiet, sharing worried glances with each other. They weren’t ok with this arrangement, not anymore.

“do not tell my mother about this” Clarke added quickly “let me be the one to tell her about it. She has too much on her plate anyways”

Abby was waiting for the group to arrive by the entrance to their wide almost broken house. Their location was calculated, if they had to run away then they had options. They were on the edge between the capitol and their old clan, Skaikru.

Doctor Abigail Griffin was the only parent left for the group. Her husband, Jake, died before the group had to move to their temporary home, the last parent to leave was Sinclair, Raven’s stepfather.

“they will be back soon” Monty moved from his place by the fire to stand next to the worried woman. He usually went with the group, but was sick and decided to stay home with Abby “they have Octavia, they will be fine”

Raven parked the car, her eyes landing on Abby by their door. She seemed worried and tired, but sadly it was her usual expression by now.
The young mechanic only ate half her bread, leaving the other half for Abby.

The reason the group initially moved to the empty building was the loss of Abby’s job. After Raven’s accident, the doctor found herself stealing drugs to try and take care of the girl’s shot wound. Once caught, Abby was banished and her doctoral degree was canceled.

Abby did so much for Raven, the latter promised herself to try and pay her debts. The driver hopped off the front seat, stumbling all the way over to the older woman.

“here,” the brunette put the bread she had left in Abby’s palm, smiling sweetly, almost shyly “that’s most of what we got, I saved some for you”

“you know how to buy a woman’s heart” Abby beamed at Raven, leaving a peck on her cheek.

Abby saved all the extra food for the younger ones, they were her priority. But she was always Raven’s priority, no matter how hungry the mechanic was “anytime”

Bellamy was the second to reach the woman’s side, he squeezed her shoulder to catch her attention “this isn’t working anymore. We should sell the jeep and move to a warmer house”

“We can’t sell the jeep, it’s the only thing Sinclair left for Raven. I can just get another job” Abby pulled her daughter into a hug as the blonde reached her side.

“mom I think I should go back to that bakery. The woman I stole from could have hurt me but decided not to. I know it’s risky, but we need more food” Clarke said quickly, knowing that her mother would never let her back but trying anyways.

“you’re crazy, Clarke” Bellamy shook his head, although he knew the woman would be much harsher in her words.

“You risked your life once today and it’s enough” Abby refused, moving towards the inside of the house “I would speak with Marcus about a loan”

The blonde started listing the reasons she should go back. Abby sighed, the way her daughter was acting deliberately younger than she was, it got on her mother’s nerves too often.

“you’re not leaving again and it’s not up for debate. Bellamy, you’re in charge of the fire. Clarke, check on Monty please” Abby nodded at the group before sliding out of the room with ease.

Raven slid against the wall, knowing exactly where her lover was going. She couldn’t do much to help her with work, barely holding on to her job as a mechanic because of the condition of her leg.

“I need your help” Clarke reached Raven’s side only 5 minutes after her mother left, it didn’t take too long to check on Monty apparently “I need you to drive me back to the bakery. I need to get more food for my mom”

“they would kill you” Raven let out a low dark chuckle. They lost Finn only a few weeks ago when he got caught stealing “it’s a suicide mission and even if you won’t die, I would never forgive myself”

“I better try, you know? I better do something to try and save my mom before she dies trying to save us” the blonde mumbled under her breath, making Raven cough loudly.

“playing dirty, I see. Smart move” she reached for the blonde’s hand, standing up with a slight stumble “I’m helping you kill yourself. I wonder what your mom would say”

The mechanic made her way to the car, passing the group with her head bowed down. Monty reached for her arm, giving her a questioning look.

“what do you think you’re doing?” he asked, his eyes burning into Raven’s soul and she shivered.

“don’t even think about it” Bellamy shook his head, catching the group’s attention “you’re not going anywhere. That girl clearly got into your head”

“I have to try again” Clarke shrugged before looking around the group, earning a small nod from both Octavia and Jasper. Her blue eyes met Bellamy’s brown ones and she pouted “you all know that”

“just don’t let her get killed, ok?” Octavia pointed at Raven, making her sigh. She knew what she’s getting into, but she couldn’t actually change the blonde’s fate if they get to it.

“may we meet again,” Bellamy said after bowing his head, he pecked the top of the blonde’s head and nodded at Raven before turning away.

The drive seemed longer now that the two knew what to expect at their destination. It was easier now that it was just the two of them. Raven prayed for the blonde’s life and the latter was just tired from fighting.

“I’m waiting in the car. I am no help with the condition of my leg, you are better by yourself” Raven reached for the glove compartment after she parked the car, handing Clarke a small gun “you better kill them, rather them killing you”

Clarke eyed the pistol for a few long-lasting seconds before she took it from Raven’s grasp, leaving a small peck on her cheek. She moved out of the car towards the driver’s window “may we meet again”

“we will” Raven gave Clarke her famous smirk, holding her gaze before turning around to run her fingers through her hair, sighing dramatically “probably for a little time before your mom would find out I took you here and kill me”

The blonde chuckled as she made her way down the road, the pistol in the back of her jeans, her blue leather jacket covering the handle from sticking out. Her mind was racing, the thought about dying didn’t even come to mind as the green-eyed woman filled all the space she had.

She heard a soft hum from behind, as she turned around, once again blue eyes met green ones.

“what are you doing here?” the woman asked. She looked horrified to find Clarke in the area of the shop, she knew what her aunt would do if she sees her “you need to leave, now”

“I need your help” the blonde follow the brunette down the street, as they neared the bakery the smell of fresh bread hit Clarke and her stomach growled. She touched the other woman’s shoulder softly, hoping to get her attention once again.

“if my aunt will see you, she’d kill you without hesitating” the brunette mumbled, running her fingers through her hair, trying to busy her trembling hands.

“You won’t let her. I know that” the blonde said knowingly, reaching her hand forward, asking silently for a handshake “my name is Clarke”

The other woman raised her hand to meet the blonde’s, her voice was just above a whisper “Lexa”

Chapter Text

Lexa sat beside Clarke against the exterior wall of the bakery, placing a piece of bread in the blonde’s hand with a soft smile. She watched as the other girl gave a small bite to the dark bread, humming in pleasure.

When Lexa’s parents told her she will be spending time with her sister, the commander, she tried to list the reasons why she should stay at home. But now, as she stared at the profile of the blonde, she was glad that she was here now.

“do you want some more?” Lexa started to rise again to her feet, only to be stopped by Clarke’s hold on her fingers, a piece of bread between her lips “that’s really not a problem”

The blonde wiped the crumbs from her cheeks, adoring smile on her lips “it’s actually more than I ate in a week”

The two haven’t mentioned the incident with the knife yet, they were just happy to have someone new at their side. Lexa was curious but kept the questions in her head instead of scaring the blonde away.

“as much as I love having you here, Clarke, why are you here?” Lexa broke the comfortable silent, her green eyes watching the blue-eyed girl with the care she used to save only for her girlfriend, the dead one.

“my mom hasn’t eaten anything in a few days. I just wanted to ask if I can maybe grab another bun for her” the blonde shrugged easily, finishing her bread with a smile.

“You have courage, you know” Lexa moved up, helping Clarke stand as well, the two making their way back to the shop “coming back after what happened. I don’t know if I would’ve done the same”

Clarke watched as Lexa grabbed a small bun from one of the baskets, grinning up shamelessly at her aunt behind the counter. The woman just shook her head, giving her a disapproving look.

Raven was worried. While she knew that Clarke would take her time with the mystery woman, she wasn’t sure how much time she’d spare the two before driving towards the area. She already knew that Abby would be mad at her, to say the least, for helping her daughter, but the doctor couldn’t make the mechanic regret trying to help.

As the nerves reached the peak of what the driver could handle, two characters made their way towards the van. Clarke was chuckling along a beautiful brunette, the blush covered cheeks could be seen from the end of the street.

“thank you, Lexa, I owe you one” Clarke smiled shyly, little did she know that it wouldn’t be the last time Lexa would risk everything for her, the blonde left a small peck on the brunette’s cheek.

“I’m happy I could help. I hope I would get to see you again” Lexa said quickly before the blonde could say the same, the blue eyes meeting the green eyes as they made a silent agreement.

“I would very much like that” Clarke whispered, her soft smile reaching her eyes as she squeezed the other woman’s upper arm “may we meet again”

Lexa smiled “may we meet again”

The house was empty when the two arrived. It was late afternoon, the group usually just spent the time around the fire, while Bellamy was finishing his shift at the commander’s guard. But now, both Raven and Clarke sat beside the leftovers of the fire.

“Why are you sitting there?” Bellamy asked as soon as he entered, carrying two plastic bags with him as the three followed behind.

The two women jumped to their feet, reaching Bellamy’s side with a confused expression on their faces, Clarke raised an eyebrow “where have you been? and what is this?”

“Abby gave us money” Octavia pushed her brother to the side, waving a bag in Raven’s face with a grin “go get your girl, she’s mad”

The mechanic grabbed the bag and the bread Clarke brought from Lexa and made her way up the stairs. Abby’s room, the one she shared with Raven, was on the farthest end of the hall. It was the only room with a bed, instead of only a mattress. Raven jumped on her right leg through the dark hallway.

She stayed completely silent as she entered the room. Raven made her way to the bed, spreading the new blanket over Abby’s small body before she laid beside her.

“You have no idea how mad I am, seriously” the woman whispered, pulling Raven under the covers and closer to her body.

Clarke stared at the fire, her silent not coming unnoticed by her friends as Jasper sat by her side. Their relationship was always the most complicated one, as the boy used to bother the girl until she’d lost her mind. Octavia and Monty were always pushing the two apart.

But after Jake died, Jasper took it as his responsibility to make the blonde happier. It calmed both their best friends as they could finally just enjoy having the two in the same room.

“You seem lost” Jasper pulled Clarke into his side, pecking the top of her head, his voice soft of fear to frighten her “can I have you back?”

“I don’t know, Jessie” the blonde shook her head. Maybe it was love at first sight, she just couldn’t stop thinking about the green eyes and the smirk “I think I developed a small crush on the woman”

“who?” he asked with a grin, running his left hand’s fingers through his hair. He chuckled before tilting his head to the side “the knife lady?”

“that’s not funny” Clarke whined, her eyes meeting Octavia’s on the other side of the fire as she silently asked for support, but the warrior just listened to their words.

“it actually is, ironically” Jasper put his hands up in the air dramatically, making the group chuckle “picture it, our movie production can finally come to life. The princess falls in love with the owner of a little bakery downtown”

“shut up, it’s not funny” Clarke whispered again under her breath, her eyes almost teary now “I can’t fall in love with anyone, Jasper, I can’t develop feelings to anyone”

“Maybe it’s only due to being thankful” Bellamy suggested, joining the three by the soft fire. He tried to make sense of the situation, but it didn’t make any sense. After all those years he never once saw the blonde this confused before.

“Clarke” Octavia caught the blonde’s attention easily, trying to lighten up the conversation, her tone between playful and annoyed “she’s not like Linc. No one is like him”

“yes, Clarke,” Jasper said jokingly, rolling his eyes at his best friend. Octavia’s words making him roll his eyes “she’s not like Linc”

“be careful with your words, honey, I can still let him treat you like his personal training puppet,” the warrior threatened, her playful smile matching Jasper’s.

“I have both Bell and Clarke on my side” he pointed at Octavia with a raise of his right eyebrow in challenge “let him come”

“grow up” Clarke narrowed her eyes, shaking her head softly “if he’s coming for you, you’re on your own”

“what? but you love me” Jasper pushed the blonde by her shoulder, the latter only leaving a quick peck on his cheek before cuddling closer to his body once again.

“if we’re talking about the man” Bellamy slung an arm around his sister’s shoulder, ruffling her hair lovingly. The 25 years old man was the biggest fan of the justice warrior “when is he coming back?”

“I think he should be back tomorrow, but I’m not sure” Octavia shrugged, grabbing a snack from one of their shopping bags, her stomach twisting about the subject “I miss him like crazy”

“you’re always crazy, O” Jasper reached for the bag in her lap, grinning childishly as she pouted “and that’s the best compliment I can give you”

Monty climbed down the stairs from his room, a paper bag held tightly in his hand as if the contents of it worth more than his own life, the bag pressed tightly to his chest. The group turned to watch as he made his way to sit beside Clarke.

The smell rising from the bag caught the group’s attention better than the guy himself, they all stared shamelessly in his direction.

“I have something so much better than this” he pointed in the direction of the snack, he patted the blonde’s shoulder “it’s Clarke’s favorite”

“my favorite?” Clarke asked, her blue eyes staring longingly at the bag in his hand, her mouth-watering “if it has taste, it’s my favorite”

Monty reached inside the bag, grabbing his own part of the food, taking a small bite before grinning at the taste “bacon”

All 4 raised to their feet, collecting their food in their turn. Clarke’s favorite was a bacon sandwich ever since she was a child. Her father used to make her a BLT every day to school and it was still his girl’s favorite meal after he died.

“thank you Monty” Clarke almost moaned out, her stomach growling with hunger. She almost forgot how it felt to eat a proper meal “I love you so much”

“yes dude” Jasper whispered, his eyes gazing at the sandwich as he touched his heart “I love you”

After they settled back in their seats, Monty added after rolling his eyes at his friends’ comments “I brought your mother a burger. I thought she deserved a reward”

Bellamy and Octavia started whining quietly, the rest of the group just shaking their heads in disapproval “I want a burger too” the 25 years old whispered under his breath, suddenly disappointed with his meal.

“it’s too expensive for all of us, I thought Abby was the one who deserved it the most” the chemist shrugged easily, his peacefulness setting the tone for the rest of the conversation.

Abby woke up earlier than the group. Something in the morning air calms her nerves. She watched the group sleep around the fire before stepping outside. It was harder to leave bed ever since it became her shared place with Raven, the mechanic always sleeping late.

Bellamy already left for work, he was the only person who had a better internal clock than Abby. The older Blake was working for the commander’s guard, he loved his job although he didn’t make too much money. It was the only reason the group stayed close to Polis, that and Lincoln.

Jasper joined the doctor a few minutes later, carrying two cups of coffee along with him. He looked tired but satisfied. The boy took a small sip before passing the other cup to Abby’s hand with a soft smile.

The only thing Jasper missed equally to his mother was the luxury of a cup of coffee every morning. They couldn’t afford it most days, but yesterday he decided to spoil himself if only just a little.

“I thought I should thank you” Jasper ran his fingers through his hair, yawning before he smiled “I don’t know what you’re doing to get the money, but I know it’s not easy”

“that’s sweet of you, honey” Abby smiled back at the boy, her expression softening at his honest words. She knew it wasn’t the easiest for him to come clean about his feelings, he covered up his feelings with jokes ever since he was young.

“Besides, I started thinking about working” he nodded quickly, taking a sip from his cup “I know I am young and I can’t go and work with Bell, because no one would take me seriously. But maybe I could find a little shop like Clarke and Octavia did”

Abby chuckled at the mention of her daughter’s work. Of course, the blonde was against the idea of following orders from anyone and thought she knew what’s best. No matter how hard the mother tried, her daughter was too stubborn to see eye to eye. She hated her job and it took her much more time to join Octavia in her fish shop.

“don’t take Clarke as an example. She’s my brilliant girl, but she couldn’t care less” the doctor shrugged slightly, making Jasper chuckle at her words “she didn’t work until she turned 19. You’re still a kid”

Jasper was the youngest of the group, only 17 years old. While Monty just turned 18, the youngest had to grow up too fast, becoming best friend with the chemist as he was still too young to understand their jokes, Monty made sure to make him feel like he was a part of them.

“I just don’t like sitting around anymore” he whispered, gulping down his coffee before throwing the paper cup in a simple paper bag that used as a trashcan “it was fun when I was 15 and Bellamy took me along with him to see the capitol. I’m just wasting my time now”

“I’m proud of you” Abby nodded shortly after she understood that she had no reason to argue. It was his decision after all “if that’s what you want. I’m sure you’d find something better than the fish shop”

While the rest of the group woke up from Jasper’s sudden yelling, Bellamy was walking around the commander’s tower, carrying his rifle against his chest. He liked carrying a weapon with him, no matter what was happening at home, it was enough for now.

“Blake” Indra called, singling for the guard to come closer as she mumbled a few words to her second before sending her off to complete her task. Bellamy stepped closer, smiling up at her.

“good morning, Indra” if he was correct, it was still around 9 am, the woman leaned against the wall as he paced closer “how can I help you?”

“heda requests you” Indra nodded quickly, pointing at the closed door at the end of the hall, in the direction of Anya’s throne room.

Bellamy’s eyes widened and he bowed his head down “am I being fired?” he asked quietly, earning a small shake of the woman’s head.

He wasn’t the one to shy off. Usually, he was the one to speak his mind at all time, similar to Clarke, but he found it easier now after 4 years of working for heda. Bellamy knocked on the wide wooden door.

Rafael, a fellow guard opened the door to the order of the commander, giving Bellamy a small smile before letting him pass. He gave Anya a small bow before giving the leader a wide smile, Bellamy appreciated the woman and the change she has been trying to make.

“I heard you requested to see me, heda,” he said calmly, standing at ease in front of the leader, the shotgun resting against his hip.

“I need your help. Come over here, Blake” Anya requested, her eyes distracted on the side of the room, spiking Bellamy’s curiosity as he stepped closer “I have a job for you. You are my best and youngest guard”

“thank you, heda” the man smiled easily, before nodding quickly “and of course, everything you need”

“My younger sister is in the city for the next week. She’s is very curious and just likes to wander around” Anya sighed, nodding at Rafael “I want you to keep an eye on her for me”

“I really don’t need a babysitter, Anya” Lexa made her way towards her sister, pouting at the commander cheekily “I’m 20 and can probably kick his thin ass if we came in battle”

Bellamy raised his eyebrow as he watched the commander’s sister march inside the room. Different from Anya, the younger girl seemed to be simply childish. But something about the way she was carrying herself stopped Bellamy from thinking any farther without giving the girl a fair chance.

“I don’t need you to wander off to your aunt again” Anya almost rolled her eyes at her sister’s behavior “Bellamy would keep you company and would keep you safe”

Lexa made her way to stand in front of Bellamy, the latter towering over her and was gazing at her with a soft smirk. The younger girl stood on her toes to look in his eyes before she turned back to her sister “I’m older than him”

“Lexa, you’re speaking nonsense” the leader shook her head quickly “you’re here for more than two days and I have things to do. I can’t take you around with me as we did when you were younger”

“such a good sister you are, heda” Lexa mumbled under her breath, surprising the sisters’ company “do you know the city?”

“I do, miss” Bellamy nodded, giving Lexa a polite smile now.

“don’t call me miss, I am only 20 and thriving. Differently than my sister of course, but might be even better” she put her hand out, her firm grip on Bellamy’s fingers as they shook hands surprised him better than anything else “call me Lexa”

“I’m Bellamy Blake” he pulled on her fingers, waving at the leader after giving her a soft apologetic smile, dragging the girl out of the throne room easily “it’s a pleasure to meet you. I didn’t know the commander had a sister”

“well I didn’t know it either until she came to visit for the first time when I was 9” Lexa shrugged as she led the two down the hall and towards the exit “can you show me around?”

Bellamy let a smile grow on his features and he nodded “sure”

Chapter Text

Bellamy spent the rest of the day following Lexa around, before dropping her off at the guest room that suddenly carried her name on the door. She gave the older guy a wide grin as she shut the door behind him.

He made his way towards the house with a permanent grin on his face. He arrived later than usual, his sister hiding her worries as he sat beside her.

“big brother” Octavia started, her heartbeat slowing down as he pulled her to his side, the way he does every time he returns home “where were you?”

“I like my job now, O” he said with a smile, shrugging at Octavia’s question, ignoring it easily “I wasn’t late on purpose, you know”

“what changed?” Abby asked as she stepped closer, Raven following behind her quickly, flustered and trying to even her breathing.

“I am the personal guard of Anya’s little sister” he grinned “she’s 20 and curious about everything the city has to offer. She’s cocky and funny, makes my life more interesting”

“is she hot?” Jasper jumped in, earning himself a few disapproving looks and a slap to the back of his head from Monty, who was curious too but was polite enough not to ask.

“yeah” Bellamy chuckled, leaning back to find the wall, meeting Clarke’s gaze knowingly “and very much gay, I think”

“she sounds amazing” Clarke almost pouted, she was against talking about work beside Bellamy, always coming out saddened by the mere idea of her horrible workplace. But an idea sparked in her mind, she tilted her head to the side “can you ask your boss to give me and O a job?”

Both Octavia and Clarke seemed surprised, they never seemed to think about working with Bellamy in the guard. The older guy may have thought about this solution a long time ago but wasn’t sure for Clarke’s fitting inside the day job as much as his sister did.

Octavia straightened up in her seat, punching her brother on his chest with the biggest smile he had seen in a while “please, big brother. That would be the best gift you ever give me”

“Bell,” Clarke wiggled her eyebrows with a smirk, knowing that together, Octavia and her can easily convince Bellamy to probably do anything “I’d owe you my life and soul”

“I’ll see what I can do” he promised, turning to look at Abby with a nervous smile, almost asking for an escape “do we have anything to eat?”

His mood was much better due to the new part of his job he didn’t know he was looking for. As he woke up for the new day, he promised himself to at least try and get his sister and Clarke what they wanted, make them a little happier.

“so,” Lexa pushed Bellamy’s shoulder to earn his attention. The two were covering more ground than the group did on their stealing day “where do you live, Bell? If not inside the city?”

“just outside the gates, you can say” he shrugged, meeting her eyes “my friends and I found it a few years ago. We have been living there ever since”

The two fell into a comfortable silence as Lexa took a small bite out of her sandwich. Bellamy answered the girl’s questions while the two wandered around, it only seemed fair to play along with her as he knew they had the whole week to pass together.

After Lexa stopped being stubborn, she easily found Bellamy to be an ally. He wasn’t a part of her family so that as it was, made him better. He was smart and funny, his knowledge in the city was endless and he liked to fight.

When the commander had time to ask her sister about the guard, she only shrugged and told her that ‘he was her in a man’.

Now the two were walking around the small market of Polis, enjoying the nice weather. Lexa was slightly ahead, seeming to know where she was going.

"what about your parents?” she gazed at him behind her shoulder, skipping over the mud at the side of the road.

“I’d like to think they are both dead” Bellamy sighed, he hasn’t talked about his parents in a while. Octavia was too private about her pain to ever raise the subject “my mom died a few years ago and my father left when I was very young. I hope he is dead”

When their mother died, Bellamy was 17 and Octavia was about to turn 11. Abby, as the best friend of the woman, vowed to raise them as her own if something happens. They were lucky to have her in their lives, Bellamy appreciated that now more than ever.

“maybe one day, when we’re older and smarter, I’d help you find him” she looked up at him with a small smile, knowing he’d take her offer.

“next week then?” he chuckled, smiling easily. He hoped they were comfortable enough so he could ask questions as well “what about your parents?”

“I was raised by myself because Anya left when I was 3 years old. They compare us too often when we are actually couldn’t be more different” Lexa shrugged, the subject wasn’t bothering her anymore, after years of living with her parents “they comment about every little mistake I make as if I killed someone. The only thing is, that Anya really does kill people”

Lexa made her way towards her aunt's bakery. Bellamy watched as the younger girl picked a pastry with a grin, biting into the sweet bread before a cough caught her attention. She only grinned as an answer, making the other woman shook her head.

“Lexa” the woman greeted. She wasn’t mad that her niece ate off her shop as much as she said she was, more irritated about the accident with the blonde thief.

“hey,” the girl answered after she finished the bite in her mouth. Her aunt’s baking was better than any other food she had ever tasted.

“Why does it always end up with me feeding you?” the woman tilted her head to the side in Lexa’s direction, “I thought it was your sister’s responsibility”

“she gave me a babysitter and then told me to leave” the commander’s sister walked through the shop as she eyed the delicious loaves of bread, regretting eating Anya’s food in the first place.

“are you her babysitter?” the woman turned to gaze at Bellamy, her green eyes very similar to her niece’s bright eyes.

“I am” he chuckled, eyeing the smirking brunette at the other end of the shop.

“poor boy,” the woman said, earning herself a glare “I am going to speak with your sister about the food you’ve been helping yourself with. Don’t forget the 3 buns you gave the blonde girl”

“it was 6” Lexa rolled her eyes, knowing that she’d bring the subject up “she was hungry. I feel zero regrets for helping her, I have more regret for having a heartless family”

“I’m not heartless. It’s my bakery, Lexa, the girl was stealing” the aunt shook her head, letting half a smile slip “you pity pretty girls”

Bellamy connected the dots easily, raising his eyebrow curiously “what are you talking about Lex?”

He let himself wonder if the girl he started to grow fond of was the same one that occupied his friend’s head if Lexa was the one who saved Clarke.
“some girl rubbed the bakery a few days ago” Lexa made her way to his side, handing him a small danish with a smile “my aunt wanted me to take care of her” the green-eyed woman shook at the mere thought of hurting Clarke.

“she’s too soft. She gave her food instead of killing her or taking her back to Anya. What would you do, babysitter, if you were in her place?” the woman reached Bellamy’s side, standing face to face with her niece who was slightly taller than her.

“depends on how hot she is” he grinned, making Lexa giggle loudly and the woman walked back to the counter, giving up on the whole subject.

“You two are just one and the same” she finished off, leaving the two to continue their conversation by themselves.

“was that supposed to be a compliment?” the guard asked, the laughs dying down.

Lexa nodded quickly, directing the two to the benches behind the small bakery to take a seat. She wasn’t used to walking that much “of course. She won’t tell me that directly but I am her favorite niece, I know that”

Bellamy nodded, remembering again the easy fact that laid at his feet. He hasn’t spoken to Indra yet about his sister and her best friend but now found a way to spark joy in Clarke anyway “was the girl you saved blonde?”

He took a small bite out the pastry between his fingers, smiling up at Lexa as she nodded her head slowly, almost confused “how did you know?”

“Clarke Griffin,” Bellamy said immediately, making the brunette raise her head from its place in her palm quickly, ignoring the dizziness she felt.

“Clarke” Lexa whispered back, her eyes closing as the picture of the blonde passed in her mind. She was special, but Lexa couldn’t point out why.

“blonde hair, blue eyes, worn-out blue leather jacket. She has this weird sense of humor that no one actually gets” the older guy listed, seeing as the recognition hit Lexa harder, she let out a small smile cover her features and Bellamy sighed “thank you for saving her life”

He became grateful and thankful in a split of a second, what would have happened to them if Clarke had died in this shop? If Lexa wasn’t the one to catch her? It would have pushed the group down into a slope that he’s not sure if they could have survived.

“she made my day, really” Lexa nodded quickly, biting into the pastry she grabbed for herself earlier “is she one of your friends?”

“yes, she’s like a sister to me. I taught her how to ride a bike” he chuckled, the memory of the 5 years old girl flashing through his memories. The small blonde was scared of failing much more than the falling, she held his shirt with her small fist. If he knew then that she would be this important to him now, he would’ve never let her go “she told us about you”

“she did?” Lexa asked, the surprise evident in her voice as she grinned. Bellamy couldn’t help but grin right back.

“do you want to see her again?” he asked, rising to his feet after she nodded her head with no second thought “she would love to see you, I know that”

Clarke was laying on the mattress beside Octavia, the two girls were exhausted from their long day. It was a little after 3 when Bellamy and Lexa reached the house. The girl enjoyed the long walk to the end of the city as the two kept the light conversation.

As the two entered the building, Lexa wondered how the building was still standing “do you really live here?” the girl found herself asking, Bellamy only nodding softly as he called Clarke’s name loudly.

The blonde raised from her place beside Octavia, the young Blake sister drifted off to sleep slowly. Clarke made her way towards Bellamy when blue eye met green ones “Lexa?”

“Clarke” the brunette breathed out, the blonde soon at her side.

Both never believed they would see each other again after their brief meeting, they couldn’t take their eyes off each other. Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s shoulders, pulling her into a much-needed hug. The two held onto each other as if it was the last time they were going to meet.

“I’m pleased that I got to see you again” Lexa mumbled after moving backward a little, watching Clarke’s face from up close.

“me too” the blonde almost blushed before she turned towards her best friend, leaving one hand on Lexa’s shoulder as she gestured behind her with the other “how did that happen?”

“she’s the commander’s sister” Bellamy shrugged with a soft smile “I babysit her for the next week”

“yeah Bell, it seems like she needs a tuff babysitter, someone to hold her back” Clarke pushed Lexa away with a grin, the older girl easily sliding her arm back around the other’s torso.

“Hey, don’t underestimate my power” Lexa pointed out, a wide smirk on her lips “be careful before he would really have to hold me back”

“Wanna try me?” the two grinned up at each other, too busy to notice Bellamy’s awkwardness. The older guy shook his head slowly, moving backward.

“I wouldn’t,” he said before leaving the two to themselves, making Lexa chuckle. The sexual tension between them was making him uncomfortable.

“thanks for coming” Clarke left a small peck on the other girl’s cheek before following her best friend inside the house, letting Lexa follow her.

It was the best day Lexa had in Polis since she could remember. She felt obligated to stay and help Clarke with preparing dinner but was dragged out of the house by a worried Bellamy. The guard mumbled under his breath as he pulled on her arm.

“I didn’t even get to say goodbye” Lexa stopped their quick pace, surprising Bellamy with her stronghold on his shoulder “I’m not leaving Clarke without saying goodbye”

The blonde was thinking the same as she rushed outside the house, her blue eyes widened with fear that she missed Lexa. She couldn’t help but consider her bad luck. Lexa escaped Bellamy’s hold as she made her way towards the blonde, lifting her slightly from the ground and squeezing her body tightly.

“I will come back” the brunette whispered in the blonde’s ear softly. She pecked Clarke on the forehead before releasing her body from her grasp.

Clarke sighed, running her fingers through her long blonde hair. She didn’t like saying goodbye “you promise?”

“I promise,” she said, turning away and joining Bellamy as they walked back to the city tower.

Anya was waiting for her when the two returned. Bellamy was tired from the long walk but left back home after depositing his weapon in the tower. The commander watched him with gratitude but didn’t say a word as he bowed and left.

“How was your day?” the commander caught her sister’s attention, the two girls were sitting in Anya’s room after dinner.

“How was your day?” the younger girl countered back, making Anya shake her head slightly offended “can I spend the night with Bellamy tomorrow?”

Both girls watched the sun setting on Polis from the commander’s wide window, the only part that both shared the love to was the view.

Lexa hated Polis. Everything felt so fake. The people that protected her sister didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that the second they would make the wrong move Anya would send them to die with a soft nodding of her head. That’s why Lexa was never around. Her parents once said she was too soft.
She never liked visiting her sister but was never asked about it, she was forced to do it.

“why?” Anya asked, tilting her head to the side. She was already dressed in her nightgown, ready to call it a night soon.

“I like his friends” the younger girl replied softly, turning back to watch her sister in a small gesture of respect “they have some money issues and he is the only one of them with a steady job. Do you think we can offer them jobs as guards here too?”

“I promise to speak about it with Bellamy soon” Anya nodded slowly, wondering if maybe his friends were as trained as he was “if you want to spend the night you must come back to see me in the morning”

Lexa seemed surprised, nodding quickly as a small grateful smile grew on her features “thank you, Anya, that means a lot”

Bellamy arrived back at Polis early in the morning. It was the first rainy day of the year, yesterday’s sun was hiding behind clouds. The guard had to run all the way to town, dodging the large raindrops from hitting his exposed skin.

“good morning heda” he bowed before entering fully into the room, finding Lexa to his left and grinning up at her “morning Lex”

“Hey, Bell” the younger girl jumped to his side, punching his shoulder playfully “my sister agreed that I could stay with you guys tonight”

“that’s great. Thank you, heda. I promise to keep the troublemaker safe” Bellamy nodded at the leader before turning back to her sister “what are we doing today?”

Anya watched the two. Lexa knew Bellamy for 3 days now, yet she was closer to the guard more than her own sister, her own blood. She felt envious about the new friendship she witnessed forming and she was the reason the two met in the first place.

It was for the better, the older woman thought as she watched the two leave the room. Lexa needed friends, Anya was well aware that her sister was a lonely person, but finally saw a genuine smile on her face when she spoke or even just spoke about Bellamy or his friends.

Anya knew that Bellamy was one of the good guys and was completely confident in his promises. So she promised herself to at least try and be better, for her younger and innocent sister that was too lonely.

Chapter Text

Clarke was never good with feelings. She fell in love with Ryan, a son of her father’s colleague when she was 12. He was sweet and soft, but never actually noticed her. She dated Finn for almost 3 years but Octavia always blamed her for using him, as he loved her and she only liked the feeling of not being alone.

She wasn’t used to dating anyone, she wasn’t even used to have the slightest feeling toward anyone. Lexa was a surprise, Clarke never felt so much in so little time and it scared her.

The younger Blake sibling watched as the blonde worked herself away, taking over too many tasks without thinking, never taking a break.

On the way back to the house, Clarke was quiet. It scared Octavia “so, Bellamy’s job is occupying your mind, I think”

The two never had the easiest friendship, both strong-headed and up to fight the other. But they were best friends for the simple reason that no one fought harder for Clarke when she needed as Octavia and no one stood up for Octavia as much as Clarke did. They reminded each other that there was hope.

“Lexa is the knife girl” Clarke whispered, suddenly so quietly, hoping that maybe her best friend won’t hear her, but she did “she’s the best thing that happened to me in a while”

“no way” Octavia pulled on the blonde’s arm, stopping in her track “you’re saying that Lexa is the commander’s sister and she is your knife girl? How did we even allow her into the house?”

“she’s great, ‘Tavia, admit it” Clarke pushed her best friend with her shoulder softly, rolling her eyes “even Bellamy likes her, that should be enough for you”

“her sense of humor is worse than yours” the brunette simply stated, the two almost arriving at their street.

“that’s not true, I am very funny and so is Lexa” Clarke whined, stomping her feet like a child “besides, you didn’t even sit with her, how do you know?”

“Whatever you say, princess” Octavia ignored the last statement, passing her best friend as she entered the house, the blonde following closely behind.

“I think I hate you” Clarke yelled towards the warrior as they parted their ways inside the building, the blonde looking for her mother while the brunette looked for Jasper.

“I’m not sure, I think you love me”

The older Blake was on his way with Lexa back to the house. They found themselves walking around the nightbloods’ yard all morning, the two grew tired very early in the day but knew that Lexa’s interest in the house would arrive only later on. So they decided to sit down and talk.

Lexa found Bellamy to be shy. It made it easier for her when quiet fell between them, she didn’t need to fill the air with meaningless conversation. But even if they did talk, it was easier with him.

“so, back at home, do you have someone special?” Bellamy asked. The two neared the house and the guard had to make sure that he doesn’t set Clarke up to a trap. He was overprotective and proud.

“special someone?” Lexa turned to face him, almost confused.

“a boyfriend or a girlfriend,” he asked with a small smile. The things that he was so sure of were new to the younger girl “are you dating someone?”

Lexa sighed, bowing her head down. It wasn’t the best subject for her “my girlfriend died a year ago. Her family was against us dating and it ended up worse than we all thought. I couldn’t protect her”

“I’m so sorry” the guard whispered, pulling the smaller girl into his side in hopeful comfort “no matter what happened it wasn’t your fault”

“my family says, it’s their key sentence” Lexa let out a bitter chuckle, shaking her head before her voice became serious “the dead are gone, Bell, the living are hungry”

“if it wasn’t in this content, I would have adopted it myself” he smiled genuinely “we are in a constant war that never ends. Octavia, my sister, tends to say a sentence that her boyfriend heard when he grew up, a warrior doesn’t mourn the dead until the war is over. It actually breaks my heart to hear my 19 years old sister say things like this”

Clarke wasn’t the only one hating her job. Abby was walking down the small clinic with a frown. Moving from being a doctor to being a medical secretary was a little harsh for her. She was patient, but couldn’t hold on for much longer when she heard her boss cough behind her.

“hold on” he started, his dark eyes gazing at her longingly “your shift is almost over”

“Marcus” Abby let out a sigh before turning on her heels and pacing towards the other direction, walking away from him.

“How are you feeling, Abbigail?” he followed her down the hallway and towards her desk.

She used to take care of people for a living, children and adults alike. She was one of the best surgeons the hospital had the privilege to have and now she was serving coffee and dodging her boss “I’m fine”

“maybe I can-” he started, wiggling his eyebrows and making Abby’s stomach turn. She hated him more than she hated her job.

“stop” Abby raised her hands up in front of her, stopping him from getting any closer “you and I, we’re business only. I have someone”

Marcus chuckled loudly, trying to cover his hurting “yeah? Do I know him?” his smile was bothering Abby, but she was calm.

“you know her, but you don’t deserve to” she whispered before turning on her heels and walking away.

Abby, similar to her daughter, wasn’t used to have feelings. Falling for Jake was the easiest choice of her life and falling for Raven was the hardest. Jake was soft, careful with her heart. Raven was rough around the edges but all soft inside, only for Abby. The two mechanics were so similar yet so different from each other, the doctor had a place for both of them.

Loving Jake was easy, her childhood best friend turned lover was her father’s favorite and she was known to be one to please her parents. He was the best partner she could ask for and was a smart man. When he died, Abby never thought she could love again. But not because of the fact that she loved him so much, she was scared of her heartbreaking again.

Loving Raven was new, so much harder than Jake and so much harder than being by herself. But something about the young cocky mechanic was captivating and Abby found herself helpless in strong arms as soon as she reached the house.

Raven was weak, the two of them never mentioned it to the others. Every day her body had a harder time to keep on working but she was a fighter. She ran her fingers through Abby’s hair gently “how was your day?”

“better now” she answered easily, pushing her head farther into Raven’s lap “I hate Kane”

“You miss your old job” the mechanic whispered, nodding her head softly as she watched her friends enter the building.

“that’s an understatement” Abby answered truthfully, raising her head up so her eyes would meet Raven’s. But the mechanic was staring at Clarke with confusion as she frowned “what’s wrong?”

“your daughter is acting weird” Raven admitted, making the mother sit up beside her. The two leaned against the wall as Clarke made her way towards them.

“I don’t think I feel well, mom” the blonde sat on the floor, wrapping herself around her mother torso and leaning her head on her shoulder “I have too many feelings I am actually scared”

“I have too many feelings too, Clarke” Raven shrugged, her fingers finding Abby’s and she let out a content sigh “but it’s about being an adult, we all have too many feelings and usually can’t decide”

“life lessons with Raven Reyes” the blonde chuckled, making the mechanic roll her eyes with a soft smile “is too expensive for any of us to fund and doctor Abby Griffin would probably make an appearance in one of the lessons”

“professor Reyes” Raven nodded her head, she would have probably been a teacher in different circumstances, in another life “I can get used to this”

“tell me Clarke” Abby spoke, catching both women’s attention and stopping their easy hopeful conversation “what happened?”

“I don’t understand how it is possible for me to fall in love with Lexa only after a few days of knowing her” the blonde shrugged, both Raven and Abby trying to hide their surprise at the girl’s honesty “I don’t want to feel anything”
Abby brought up the subject with Raven the day before. The two couldn’t help but think that both Lexa and Clarke had easy love for each other but was scared of the young Griffin’s reaction to the whole thing.

“too bad princess, we can’t control our feelings,” Raven said almost sadly, leaning her head back on the wall.

When Bellamy and Lexa arrived at the house it was early evening and Clarke was sound asleep in her mother’s lap after the tiring talk. Abby and Raven whispered in fear of waking the blonde up but raised their voices when noticed the guard walking towards them.

Lexa sat beside Clarke, grabbing the blonde’s hand in her own before raising her other palm to Abby “you must be doctor Griffin” Lexa whispered with a soft smile, the woman shaking her palm with the same amount of softness Lexa wore in her smile “it’s nice to meet you”

Clarke opened her eyes slowly as she heard Lexa’s voice, she gazed at the two women in pure awe “it’s so lovely to meet you, honey” Abby grinned, releasing the girl’s fingers after a few more moments.

She squeezed Lexa’s fingers in her own palm, making her gaze down at the blonde “Hey there, gorgeous”

Clarke moved from her mother’s lap to Lexa’s, the brunette soon playing around with her blonde hair gently. The guard watched the two with a soft smile, meeting Lexa’s eyes for a brief moment before leaving, followed by Abby and Raven.

When Lexa was younger her parents always repeated the fact that she was too soft to be a commander, but she never minded their words until Costia became a part of her life. When she died, Lexa thought she could never feel something like that again and that made her parents proud. Now as she eyed Clarke’s features she knew that her parents could be once again disappointed.

“How was your day?” Clarke turned her head in Lexa’s lap, blue eyes meeting green ones and the two sighed. They were happy together.

The brunette shrugged, wiping Clarke’s cheek gently “nothing special until now. I actually spoke with my sister about offering you a job, are you sure you want to be a guard, princess?”

Clarke rolled her eyes, letting out a soft chuckle at the nickname “I know that Octavia is better at taking orders than me and I am willing to push myself for her”

“you’re a good friend, Clarke,” Lexa said with a smile, her fingers finding their way back into the blonde hair and she leaned back “I hope that my sister would keep her word and speak with Bellamy about the two of you”

“I can be an advisor to the commander, you see me as a soft person Lex but I can be cruel” the blonde wiggled her eyebrows, making the brunette smirk.

“what would you suggest then, I must ask” Lexa pulled Clarke up, now the two sat side by side with their shoulders pressed together, the blonde turned her head to watch the brunette.

“I would tell her to force you to stay in the city” the statement made Lexa turn her head quickly, the air between them stood and they couldn’t find a reason to break their trance.

Maybe they were being childish, letting themselves fall in love while the world outside of them was busy in subjects of war was a bad idea, but they didn’t care now. They had 3 more days before Lexa would leave, they had to make every moment count.

What could Lexa say to Clarke now? she didn’t know how to react to her words. Lexa was sure of one thing as she grabbed Clarke’s hand and laced their fingers together. She was sure that no matter what would happen for them as a couple, Clarke wouldn’t share the same fate as Costia.

“it’s going to be Lexa and Clarke, you know?” Raven whispered in Abby’s ear as they watched the two girls from beside the stairs, about to climb up to their room “like Octavia and Lincoln”

The doctor grinned, almost blushing as she placed a soft kiss on Raven’s lips “and you and me”

Bellamy wasn’t fond of the new arrangement. He loved Lexa and knew that she was perfect in her place beside Clarke, but felt that he has to be on guard whenever she was around. It wasn’t about trust, for the simple fact that he trusted Clarke to keep Lexa safe herself, but he feared to lose his job more than he liked to admit. Octavia found it the easiest to track his changes of behavior.

“Hey, big brother” Octavia’s strong voice broke his train of thoughts. Lexa wasn’t only new to her best friend’s life, Bellamy was affected as well from the girl and her knife.

“Hey, troublemaker” he pulled her to his side, pecking the top of her head lovingly. She was the only thing he was able to always protect, she was still somewhere the young naive girl she was before their mother died. But now she was much smarter, she could protect herself.

“I think that Clarke is not the only person that thinks about Lexa too much” the younger Blake raised her eyebrow at her brother, making him almost start and protest about the subject “Bell, please just talk to me”

He sighed loudly, scratching the back of his neck “you know me so well, O” Bellamy dropped his gaze to the floor as now for the first time Octavia noticed the rifle placed on his waist.

“Is this real?” Octavia reached for the weapon, grabbing it easily before her brother can stop her and examining it in her hands “that’s so cool”

“yes, O, give it back please” Bellamy reached for his shotgun, taking it away from Octavia before she could say another word “I am worried that Lexa and Clarke would disappear together and I would have to take the blame. That girl is worth the world to the commander and maybe someone wants to have an advantage over heda”

“please Bell, that girl is harmless. Besides, no one knows that she is the commander sister unless they have some intel from inside” the brunette said quickly, placing her palm on her brother’s shoulder to earn his full attention “I can speak with them for you, without telling them that you’re worried”

“would you do that for me?” he asked, a small smile gracing his lips as he finally let out a long breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“I would do everything for you, big brother” Octavia pecked his cheek before marching toward her best friend.

The warrior liked being in charge. It wasn’t new to Bellamy. But speaking with Clarke about Lexa’s condition with the commander wasn’t about her at all. She was willing to push in her best friend’s relationship so her brother would have some peace of mind. He appreciated that and knew that she was doing it only for him.

The couple was laughing at something that Lexa said, the latter trying to explain herself but only making her company laugh louder. It surprised Octavia how relaxed Clarke seemed to be in the other girl’s side, it made her happy, but she won’t mention it to the blonde, maybe in the future.

“Hey, lovebirds” she took the seat in front of them, confusing both girls. She didn’t like new people, Clarke wasn’t sure how she would react with her knife girl “I just wanted to introduce myself to our shiny new addition. My name is Octavia, I’m Bellamy’s sister”

Lexa reached forward, shaking her palm with a smile “it’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you from him. He talks about you like you make the sun shine every morning”

Octavia tried to hide her surprise, although a part of her knew that her brother adored her. She decided to ignore the subject, trying to leave as soon as possible so the two could have their time alone “I just wanted to ask for a favor if that’s ok with you?”

Clarke raised her eyebrow, finding it reasonable to cut the small conversation “she already spoke with Anya about giving us jobs, if that’s what you wanted”

“that’s not what I wanted but thank you so much” Octavia gave Lexa a thankful smile before shaking her head “Bellamy is afraid that you’d run away together. While I
know that you won’t, I must have you promise me that you’d stay here. I know that getting to know each other while we’re here is not ideal, but he really fears that something bad will happen to you”

“We weren’t even considering leaving the building for a walk,” Lexa said honestly, pressing her fingers to Clarke’s forearm for support “your brother takes his job very seriously and I wouldn’t do anything to cause him harm with my sister. I promise”

“I appreciate that a lot, by the way,” the warrior nodded quickly “I must say that he is the happiest he has been in a while, both him and Clarke. I am usually not the easiest with new people but you definitely deserve the benefit of the doubt”

Lexa let out a small smile, almost blushing as she gazed longingly at Clarke by her side “thank you, that actually means a lot to me”

Clarke nodded her head quickly, punching Octavia’s shoulder “for me too, O. More than you know”

“so you promise to be good girls and at least tell him if you’re leaving the house?” Octavia waited until both agreed before she left the two by themselves once again.

“that actually went easier than I thought” the blonde leaned her head on Lexa’s shoulder, wrapping her arm around the brunette’s midriff “now after she mentioned that Bell’s worried about you, I think it’s time for us to run away”

“We can leave and never come back” Lexa pecked the top of Clarke’s head, pulling her even closer “no more hated workplaces or annoying sister”

“I think I would like that very much”

Chapter Text

The group surrounded the fire after dinner. Abby was the only one already in bed. Their nightly routine was growing on Lexa as Clarke was cuddled to her side, Jasper was telling them a lame joke that made them laugh.

Being able to spend time with Bellamy and Clarke’s little family was better than she imagined and she wished she could be a part of their day to day lives. Bellamy stopped fearing every second and decided to enjoy his time around his friends.

“do you want to see something cool?” Lexa leaned towards Clarke’s ear, the move going unnoticed with the rest of the group while the blonde nodded her head with a small smile “I can teach you how to shoot Bellamy’s rifle”

Clarke raised her left eyebrow in challenge, making Lexa smirk “I bet you can’t even take it from him”

Both watched the weapon for a while. Clarke’s friends never commented about the two staying silent for more than a few minutes, although they did find it odd. Octavia was telling a story about her workday when her brother raised to his feet, leaving the shotgun on the mattress as he left the circle.

“that’s not fair” the blonde caught the group’s attention before Lexa reached for the rifle, easily rising to her feet and pulling the blonde with her. Octavia following with a glare “O it’s fine, we had a bet and we would give it back in a few”

Raven grabbed Octavia’s fingers, catching her attention. The warrior was glaring at Lexa as the brunette was too busy putting the strap of the weapon across her shoulder “if they want to get in trouble with Bellamy for a bet than let them. They are not stupid enough to shoot anyone” the mechanic turned to look at Clarke knowingly.

“don’t worry” the blonde pushed Lexa from behind, the latter giggling as they left the living room towards the back yard.

They were acting on impulses, a thing that both girls weren’t familiar with.
Clarke was raised to be a mature kid, even before her father died she was helping her mother with patients. Lexa was always training for a war she knew wasn’t coming, but had to act as if it was real. They had to pretend to be adults but didn’t felt the need to do it with each other.

When the two stepped outside, Lexa wasted no time pushing the blonde against the wall, Clarke let out a loud breath, her arms pressed flat against the wall in surprise. Blue eyes met alluring green ones and the blonde found it harder to breathe.

“you are much more confident than you like to show, Lexa” Clarke whispered after she regained her composure, her fingers played with the end of Lexa’s shirt with a smirk “Are you going to teach me how to shoot now?”

She moved to the brunette’s side, grabbing the rifle from around her waist and pulling it towards her body. Lexa relieved its strap from around her and over the blonde. She stood behind Clarke, her arms reaching for the weapon over the blonde’s shoulders so she could stabilize it in Clarke’s hands.

“breathe deeply, Clarke. Close your left eye and lean your cheek against the handle of the weapon” she pointed, the other girl followed the instructions with ease. Clarke leaned back against Lexa’s body “when you pull the trigger, you feel it through your whole body. I don’t think you can get that feeling from anything else”

The blonde turned her head in the brunette’s direction, bright blue eyes met clear green ones and they leaned closer towards each other, their lips almost touching before a cough stopped them.

“The four musketeers inside gave you away” Bellamy raised his left eyebrow, an annoyed smile covering his features “if you shoot, I would have to give Anya an explanation. Give me the gun”

Both girls looked like troubled kids, Lexa gave the guard the rifle with an apologetic smile and Clarke pouted. She knew that the older Blake couldn’t stay mad at her while she pouted, too many years of experience still haven’t made it easier for him

“sorry Bell” the blonde whispered, her arm still wrapped around the brunette’s waist as she tried to sweet-talk him into forgiving them “Lexa was just showing me one of the many skills she learned back at home”

“just go inside” he pointed, watching the two quickly obeying him and taking their places on the floor once again “they would never grow up”

It was later that night that Clarke found herself unable to fall asleep. Maybe the feeling of Lexa pressed against her back felt too good to be true or maybe the fact that nothing good ever lasted for the blonde. She was worried after Finn died Clarke decided to ignore her feelings as if they didn’t exist at all.

The blonde wasn’t the only one to stay awake, Bellamy was watching the two girls. He was worried too, but not for the same reasons Clarke was. The older guy was the happiest for being able to find someone to spark feelings within Clarke. He was afraid he couldn’t find a way to make Lexa stay in Polis, for both him and the blonde.

Bellamy and Clarke didn’t know that the other was awake until the blonde tried to release herself from Lexa’s stronghold. She struggled to find a bottle of water, Bellamy saw her walking around the room and offered his own.

“can’t sleep either?” she sat beside him, watching as Lexa tossed around the mattress, seemed to almost be confused.

“too many things crossing my mind now” he sighed, frowning his eyebrows. He looked younger in his old light blue shirt, made Clarke smile as she remembers the 15-years old guy that used to take care of her.

“do you want to go for a walk? Maybe it can clear our heads” Clarke offered. Bellamy soon leaving the comfort of his bed as they made their way out of the building quietly.

The older Blake was always a deep thinker. Clarke knew better than to cut through his train of thoughts. It was around 3 am as the two circled their building, the blonde find it hard not to shiver from the cold.

“look,” he whispered before they reached the entrance of the house once again, her eyes meeting his and they stopped walking “I can’t stop thinking about you and Lexa. I think it’s better than to think about you carrying a gun if you ever end up working with me for the commander”

Clarke rolled her eyes but understood soon that it wouldn’t be the safest idea to let her carry any kind of weapon “what were you thinking about?”

“she’s leaving by the end of the week” Bellamy ran a hand through his dark hair, the new information hitting Clarke deep in her stomach “I want her to stay with us. I know that it’s not realistic but my headrests better knowing that you’re with her”

“I forgot about that” the blonde dropped her gaze to the floor, only raising her eyes once she let the information settle. Bellamy wasn’t pushing her “what do you want me to do then?”

“You should convince her to stay” the older Blake nodded eagerly, confusing the innocent blonde even more. He didn’t want to tell her exactly what to do but knew better than letting her think about it even further “kiss her. Tell her how much you like her. I know you, princess”

“I dated Finn after knowing him most of my life and I only kissed him after a year of dating” Clarke shook her head, looking at Bellamy as if he should have known better “I know Lexa for 3 days”

“You can’t compare your 15 years old self to who you are now” Bellamy shook his head, almost annoyed. She let the fact that she almost kissed the brunette wander back into her mind “and you can’t compare Lexa to Finn. You’re talking about my version in a girl, a smartass cocky girl who has a huge crush on you too”

“I don’t know if this is a pep talk or we’re actually having a girl talk right now” Clarke giggled, already feeling better, his famous smirk took over his face and the blonde wondered if Lexa really was the woman version of her best friend.

“girl talk, of course, my specialty” the older guy chuckled, only continuing after the blonde yawned “if you make the first move, the one she’s so afraid to do herself, she’d want to stay, for both you and her”

“Bell, why are you trying to hook me up with Lexa?” Clarke asked finally, the question on the tip of her tongue since the start of their conversation.

“We need to move on, Clarke” he whispered, suddenly the reason behind everything cleared. Bellamy believed that if he’d see Clarke start to move on from her own lost than it would be easier for him to do the same “Finn died, princess. So is Gina. We need to find reasons to live again”

His words made her angry “you don’t think I know Finn’s dead? I wake up every day with the shame that I couldn’t save him, that you couldn’t save him. I’m just so scared of this world to just do whatever I want to do now, even if being with Lexa can guarantee that no one from the guard would ever harm me again”

Bellamy reached forward, pulling the shorter girl into his side as she tried to understand if she was crying because Finn died or because explaining this to Bellamy meant that he didn’t really understand why she was holding back.

“I’m sorry, princess” he whispered, kissing the top of her head before releasing her from his hold “I’m sorry I pushed, I usually know better than that. I just want you to have a fair chance with someone and I love Lexa”

“I know Bell,” Clarke said before turning on her heels and pacing back towards her bed “don’t push me, please”

The blonde made her way silently, trying to sneak into Lexa’s arms without waking her up but failing. Tried green eyes stared at the puffy blue ones, soon worried.

“What happened?” her voice raspy and low due to waking up, her fingers tracing over the dry tears on the blonde’s cheeks. Clarke settled back with her head on her chest “I will punch someone for you”

The blonde let out a giggle, a blush covering her cheeks for the simple statement “you don’t have to punch anyone, holding me in more than enough”

Lexa let her head rest once again, watching the ceiling while trying to listen to Clarke’s soft breathing against her. She didn’t like the look of distress the blonde carried.

“I can’t just fall asleep now” the brunette murmured under her breath, pinching the side of the blonde’s body to catch her attention again.

“Bellamy mentioned that you’re leaving soon” Clarke moved up, leaning on her elbow, watching Lexa’s face and admiring her beauty “it wasn’t the reason that I cried, but I promise you this wasn’t making me feel any better”

Lexa’s eyes dropped and she found herself playing with Clarke’s fingers “I arrive for 7 days every time I come to visit. Usually, it’s more than enough and I find myself praying to leave after the first 3 days”

“I don’t want you to leave, Lexa” the princess whispered under her breath, but made sure the other girl heard her clear enough. The blonde wiped at the other girl’s cheek affectionately “I want you to teach me more useless lessons and maybe you can find your place with us”

“wow the idea of teaching you useless lessons really makes me want to ditch my sad life back at home” Lexa carried a sarcastic tone in her voice but something about the thought of staying with Clarke made her smile easily “it’s not the worst idea”

Clarke was surprised, she didn’t have to do much to convince Lexa to consider the idea of staying in Polis, better than to go back home to Trikru. The blonde left a small peck on the brunette’s cheek “promise to at least think about it?”

“I promise” Lexa whispered back, the two laying back down on the mattress before dozing off to sleep.

Lexa had to leave before Clarke woke up. She promised her sister to arrive early in the morning and she wasn’t going to break any of her promises. The idea of staying in town for a little longer was heavy in her mind as she paced beside the guard.

She wondered what will be her sister’s reaction to the request. Anya was a very calculated leader, Lexa knew better than just assuming what her reaction would be.

“what are you thinking about, Lex?” Bellamy asked as they neared the commander’s tower in the middle of Polis, enjoying the morning breeze.

The brunette shrugged, the floor seemed to be much interesting now as she tried to avoid his question. He was her only friend, the first person to actually try and befriend her while ignoring the fact that she was the leader’s younger sister. Lexa knew that if she’d ask for his advice he would gladly do anything he could do to help her.

“I have a lot on my mind that’s all” Lexa shook her head before meeting Bellamy’s eyes once again. They started their way up the stairs.

“you’re not so special” he chuckled, squeezing her shoulder while he turned to face her “I had a conversation with Clarke in the middle of the night. She has a lot on her mind as well”

“yeah she came to bed crying but wouldn’t tell me why” Lexa shrugged once again, her eyes landing on Indra and she sends her a small polite smile “I don’t want to hear it from you, I just want to make sure she is ok”

“she will be, she’s just not used to having feelings. You’re similar that way” Bellamy smirked, his words making Lexa’s stomach twist. She wanted to stay in Polis but wasn’t sure her heart would survive another heartbreak. The two came to a stop in front of the throne room.

The guard knocked on the door but was pushed aside by his friend. Lexa entered the throne room, surprising both her sister, her guest, and the guard. Anya raised her eyebrow at her sister’s impertinence, but quickly ignored her and turned back towards the prince of Azgeda. Roan gave the leader a confused gaze before speaking again.

Lexa pulled Bellamy with her towards the side of the room as the prince talked about to strengthen Anya’s coalition by adding the 12th clan, Azgeda. He spoke for a few more minutes before leaving the room, winking in Lexa’s direction before he closed the door.

“I thought they taught you better, mother and father, than to enter a room without knocking first” Anya addressed her sister after a few seconds, her eyebrows frowned together as she tried to contain her anger “it’s rude”

“I didn’t learn anything from our parents, sis, thankfully” Lexa responded easily, the ice in her voice made Bellamy shake his head. Anya would never let her sister stay in Polis as long as she dismisses her like this “I returned from my night, I came to show you that I kept my promise. Can I go and take a shower?”

Anya nodded slowly, raising her palm to stop Bellamy from following her back to her room “wait here, Blake. I have something to discuss with you”

Lexa punched her friend’s shoulder before moving out of the room, leaving the leader to sigh loudly. She wasn’t used to having her little sister around and she wasn’t sure she was ready to have her.

“what can I do for you, heda?” Bellamy watched the leader as he stood still, his arms across his back.

“how was the night with my sister?” Anya asked, letting a small smile cover her features. She knew that Bellamy kept her sister safe “was she acting ok?”

“she was great, as always” Bellamy nodded his head, knowing that Anya was beating around the bush “but I believe that it’s not the subject you want to talk about”

“Lexa came to me about you financial problems” Anya started after a while, standing up from her throne and stepping closer. It was a soft subject, she knew “I would like to help if it’s possible. Maybe to offer your friends a job or maybe to double your salary for the next few months”

Bellamy wanted to say so many words, but Anya left him speechless. It was unexpected, the older Blake never meant to send Lexa to ask for favors for them, he owed her for even trying with her older sister only for them “thank you, heda. A job would be more than enough”

“you’re a good soldier, Blake” the commander nodded, stopping in front of him “you’ve done so much for me with Lexa. She is lonely, but have had the best time while she was with you and your friends, I know that from just looking at her. So thank you”

“of course, heda, everything you want. Your sister is better than she was on the first day, I promise she’s heavier for you than me” he chuckled, shaking his head slightly.

“good,” Anya moved back to her seat, she added before sending him once again to her sister “bring your friends tomorrow morning for interviews”

Lexa waited for her sister to arrive at the room when the sun started setting over the mountains. The brunette stood by the window, admiring the view while her mind wandered back to the reason she was here.

Bellamy left back to the house a while ago, giving Lexa some time to think.

Maybe she could work for Anya. She was one of the best warriors in Trikru, it was one of the reasons she got along so well with Indra. If she was to work for the commander maybe she won’t have to prove it as her right to stay in Polis in the first place.

While being deep in her thoughts, Lexa didn’t hear the sound of someone pushing the door open, the brunette turned to look after someone started speaking to her “Lexa? what are you doing in Polis?”

The brunette tilted her head to the side, a small smile taking over her features “hey, Titus. I am looking for my sister” she let out a chuckle before stepping closer.

The flamekeeper watched the girl in pure awe. She was his soft spot ever since she was a child, he used to be the one to take care of her while she visited the capitol. Now as she grew older she needed someone to busy her, Bellamy took over Titus’ job.

“yeah I know” he smiled, watching her as he stepped closer inside the room. The flamekeeper was the only one to think that Lexa could have been a great commander as well as Anya “I didn’t know you were in Polis”

“I arrived a few days ago, I am leaving by the end of the week” Lexa nodded shortly before an idea raised in her mind “but I don’t want to leave, Titus”

“then why are you leaving?” the man took a seat on the small sofa, pointing at the armchair in front of him. She shrugged, taking the seat he offered for her.

“I was going to speak with Anya, but maybe you could help me with her” Lexa let out a grin, making him shake his head “I just turned 20, I want to try and live over here. You just have a better voice of reason than I do”

“that makes sense” Titus nodded after he thought for a while, his brown eyes warm as he moved to stand up. Lexa appreciated the way he stuck to her sister’s side and was there through every decision “let me take care of her, I promise to try”

The brunette moved around, squeezing the flamekeeper’s shoulder on her way towards the door “I owe you one, old man”

“You can start by not calling me old man anymore,” he called, turning to meet her gaze one last time with a wide grin “it hurts my self-esteem”

It was much later that night, Anya was exhausted from her day when Titus entered her room. The commander was about to retire for the day but made the time to sit with her wise advisor.

After Titus mentioned Lexa, the leader’s head almost shut down and she tried to listen through his lecture about the reasons it will be effective for the younger girl to be around Anya, but couldn’t stay quiet for too long.

“no,” her voice was calm, stable, she turned away from the flamekeeper. His head was bowed down as he considered his next word.

“heda, just think about it” Titus requested, almost pleaded, but stopped when Anya raised her palm up, signaling him to stop talking.

Anya let out a sigh, before raising her eyes to meet his “she is an irresponsible child and I don’t have to watch out for her. Bellamy has other things to do, more important than to follow her around. You know I care for her, I think it’s just better off for her to be at home”

“she wants to stay, don’t you think it matters what she wants?” after the leader shook her head, he added peacefully “you can’t force her to leave”

“I can’t force her to leave, you’re right” Anya moved around the room, her advisor following before hearing her words “but Bellamy can”

Chapter Text

Abby shook awake in Raven’s arms, Bellamy’s voice was soft, almost scared to wake the mechanic up from her deep slumber. The doctor slid out of her girlfriend’s arms, missing the warmth as she followed the older Blake to the main floor, where her daughter and Octavia were waiting for them.

Clarke wasn’t a morning person. She leaned against her best friend’s side while the younger Blake tried to contain her excitement as quietly as she could. Octavia almost dragged the group towards Polis when they started walking.

When Bellamy arrived the night before and delivered the news, that Anya was willing to let them try and work for her as well, Octavia was the happiest for the new opportunity and was even able to spark some enthusiasm from her blonde friend. She almost forgot the fact that her boyfriend hasn’t returned home yet.

“just don’t say anything stupid,” Bellamy turned towards the 3 nervous women, pointing at Clarke with an amused grin “especially you, Griffin”

“what did I do?” the blonde asked innocently, batting her eyelashes at her best friend, who followed soon with an eye roll “come on Bell, I am not that bad”

“oh sweetie, you’re the worst” Abby let out a chuckle as she pulled her daughter to her side, the group made their way towards the commander’s tower after walking past the main market of Polis, by the end of the road was the small bakery belonged to Lexa’s aunt.

“just watch your words and of course, don’t mention the reason you know Lexa” the guard whispered now, knowing that the 3 listened carefully.

Anya was waiting for them, her next meeting was only after lunch. While working on getting Azgeda to join the coalition, the commander didn’t have a minute to breathe. Lexa was another subject that bothered her but knew better than to busy her mind with the younger girl.

The soft knock on the door interrupted the train of thoughts and she was soon greeted by her youngest guard and his friends. The leader read people easily and noticed the blonde woman just behind Bellamy, searching through the room, as if looking for someone.
“good morning, heda” Bellamy stepped forward, honoring his leader with a small bow of his head “as agreed, I brought my friends for interviews”

“of course,” the leader nodded at the women, stepping towards the 3 with a polite nod “I’ll be right with you, I need to have a word with you, Blake”

Bellamy followed Anya to her balcony, watching over the city as he waited for the leader to speak. She seemed to be considering her words carefully, her light brown eyes landing on the guard after too many moments of silence.

“Lexa mentioned that she wants to stay in Polis,” the commander started, her voice even and it shown that she had taken the time to think about it before coming to Bellamy “you must convince her to return home. After she’d say she is leaving I’d except your friends to work in here”

The guard bowed his head, hiding the disappointment covering his features before raising his head with a soft nod “I’ll report back to you, later on this day”

Anya led them back inside, Bellamy tried to catch Clarke’s eyes, tried to apologize through his gaze but found it impossible to meet the blue orbs observing the commander.

He nodded in Indra’s direction before leaving the room to climb up to Lexa’s room. Meanwhile, Anya sat down with Abby for the first interview while the two other waited outside for their turn.

Lexa was still asleep when Bellamy pushed her door opened, smiling in her direction but staying in his place by the door “do you want me to return later, Lex?”

“no, no” the brunette climbed out of her bed, rushing to change clothes and brush her teeth before returning back to her room, watching as Bellamy held his head in both his palms “what’s going on, Bell?”

“your sister made a decision if you could stay or not” he whispered when their eyes met her heart dropped. She didn’t have to hear the exact words to know that she would be leaving Polis in 2 days, with that she was leaving her two closest friends behind.

“I’m sorry you had to be the one to deliver the news” Lexa sat beside him, letting her hand linger on his shoulder before placing both her palms in her lap. She was sad, so suddenly. Lexa believed that Titus fought for her and lost terribly, which pushed Anya to the point of using Lexa’s friend against her “I’m sorry I would have to break Clarke’s heart. I never meant to do that”

“Hey, you’re breaking your own heart in the process, that’s making me even sadder” the guard pulled on the smaller girl’s arm, her head rested on his shoulder as he hugged her tightly. If it wasn’t such a surprise for her than she would have hugged him right back. She was grateful for him, more than he knew “come on, let’s find the princess, she probably finished her interview by now”

The brunette followed the guard as he made his way down the stairs, he met Indra on the way out. The woman seemed to be exhausted, she pointed at Bellamy “your friend drove me insane”

Bellamy turned to look at Lexa, the two cracking a smile “Clarke” they said in unison, making the chief of war almost whine. Not everyone could handle the blonde woman as easily as the two could.

“I should have warned you,” the guard chuckled, running his fingers through his dark hair “she is my best friend since we were kids, I know how it feels to handle her for the first time”

“heda was surprised with her knowledge of healing, as of her mother, she sent the two to medical” Indra let out a loud sigh, eyeing between the two “I took Octavia under my care”

“I knew you’d like her, she’s my little sister,” Bellamy said proudly, although he knew Octavia mentioned being related to the guard. She was proud of him “let me know if you need something”

“thank you, Blake” she squeezed his shoulder, moving past the two and towards the stairs.

Lexa didn’t know why they stopped beside the throne room, her gaze landed on her friend who seemed nervous once again. His mind was racing, no one could stop him “I have to speak to your sister, meet me in medical?”

“Yeah, sure” the brunette nodded, trying to hide her confusion as she made her way through the halls until she reached her destination. Until she reached Clarke.

When Clarke was a child, she used to go with her mother to her clinic. No matter how young she was, the blonde would always sit with the patients, old and young, and pass their time as her mom would work. Everyone loved her, the girl showed her medical knowledge, surprising both her mother and the clients.

When she asked Bellamy to speak with Anya about her, she believed she would be a guard, or maybe a teacher. She never thought that ditching school to go and work with her mother would pay off so well.

Of course, she had a lot to learn in comparison to her mother or every other person who studied to receive their degree, but she was good with patients, that was something not all doctors can brag about.

While her mother spoke with Nyko, one of the healers, the blonde found herself wandering around the wide medical central of Polis. She watched the patients before her gaze landed on a small boy. His blonde hair covered his eyes and he reached to swipe his hair to the left.

“Hey, there” Clarke sat beside him, noticing the wound on his shoulder before her eyes met his “my name is Clarke”

The black blood spilling from his clavicle was held back by an already black cloth. The woman checked on the boy’s wound as he shrugged “I’m Aden”

Lexa now watched the blonde from afar, she recognized the boy lying in the bed but wanted to keep watching before joining the two. Clarke was taking care of Aden’s wound before the boy finally landed his eyes on Lexa.

“Hey,” he called, his gaze meeting the brunette’s and she stepped into the room. He grinned “you see, Lexa? A beautiful girl is taking care of me, you should learn from me more often”

Clarke turned her head. When blue eyes met green ones the two let out a sigh. Lexa forgot the reason she looked for Clarke, every time they were near each other it was as if they were the only people in the world.

“shut up, cocky child” the brunette neared his bed, ruffling his hair before leaning towards Clarke’s side and pecking the top of her head, she added childishly “I know her before you do, so don’t touch her”

“I thought we had something special, Clarke” Aden shook his head, making both girls chuckle “but I get why you picked Lexa, we’re all dying to know where her fighting skills came from. If you ever find out, please tell me”

Lexa rolled her eyes, she avoided touching him as she was afraid to hurt him, instead she took the second seat beside his bed, her free hand finding Clarke’s “I’m taking your doctor away”

“everyone leaves me” he pouted, but nodded as the two got up from their seats “thank you for taking care of me, Clarke”

“of course, Aden, I’ll come back later to see you,” the blonde said before following the brunette outside.

“I can’t believe they let you be a healer, princess” Lexa chuckled as she led them back up to her room. If she had two more days to spend with Clarke she was going to enjoy herself “it never came to mind”

“it’s better than letting me carry a gun” Clarke repeated Bellamy’s words with a nod of her head, her fingers finding their ways to Lexa’s “so, what’s going on? What was your rush to see me?”

The brunette shrugged, her eyes meeting Clarke’s as she let a smirk cover her features “do I need a reason to want to be with you?”

The blonde blushed, her smile softening and she leaned to peck Lexa on her cheek as a small thank you, for more than the comment she made but for all the things she didn’t know she was doing.

The truth is, it was going to be harder for Lexa to leave. They cuddled together on the couch, knowing well enough that Bellamy was looking for them around the tall building but they didn’t feel like getting up.

Both had some information they were keeping from the other about their past, but it made them feel slightly safer. Lexa ran her fingers through blonde locks before she whispered “Anya won’t let me stay, Clarke”

“that’s why you came for me?” the blonde raised her head from Lexa’s chest, blue eyes met green ones and the latter sighed “you would come back?”

“now I have a reason to” the brunette whispered back before pulling the smaller girl back into her side.

When Bellamy found the two, he couldn’t find a reason to wake them up. He watched with a smile as his heart broke. He knew that after Lexa would leave something would change.

He wasn’t as subtle as he thought, his steps catching Clarke’s attention and the blonde coughed to catch his “hey Bell, I think I would stay with Lexa for the night”

“I should have thought about it” the guard nodded, his fingers once again on the doorknob “I will come by tomorrow to pick the troublemaker for her day, so you can go to work. If you need anything, go to a man named Titus. He would help you with everything you need until I arrive”

“thank you, Bell” the blonde grinned, her eyes shutting closed once again only after her best friend closed the door behind him.

It took Lexa everything not to wake Clarke up. It was only later that night, the sun has set only a while ago as its rays were still evident behind the mountains. It was peaceful for the brunette for the first time in a while, holding the blonde in her arms was calming all her nerves. But knowing that she was leaving so soon made her tickle the blonde’s side gently, waking her up.

“I just had the best dream, Lex, I can’t believe you had the guts to do that” Clarke pushed her head further into the brunette’s neck, making her chuckle “why would you do that?”

“I am leaving in two days, you can sleep without me” Lexa moved around her couch, pushing Clarke to sit in front of her. Blue eyes meet green ones and they both averted their gazes to the sides.

“what would you like to talk about?” the blonde let out a yawn before turning back towards the beautiful brunette, her eyes burning holes in Lexa’s soul as if she is trying to memorize the way she looks.

“I will tell you a story that I don’t like to talk about and then you can tell me why you cried the other night” Lexa raised her left eyebrow, challenging Clarke with her expression and then with her words.

“go on then” the blonde matched the challenging face with a smirk and a soft nod. She never came to think about the reason she cried that night again but knew that Lexa deserved to know why she came to bed crying and why they haven’t kissed yet.

The brunette shrugged, a small sad smile taking over instead of the confident smirk. She would tell Clarke the things she has to say before she is forced to leave “I had a girlfriend a while ago, her name was Costia” Clarke couldn’t help but let out a surprised chuckle, almost uncomfortable “we were together since I was 17, I thought I would marry her. But then someone recognized me as Anya’s sister and tried to get the commander’s attention”

Clarke curled closer to Lexa, her fingers finding the brunette’s and she leaned forward, closer to Lexa’s body “I am so sorry, Lex”

“I thought it was my fault at first, but my parents ignored every attempt I made to ask about Costia, if they heard anything” the brunette dropped her gaze, playing with Clarke’s fingers as she fought the lump in her throat “someone delivered her head to my bed 3 weeks after she disappeared”

Clarke didn’t know what to say. Lexa didn’t cry as she told the story, but her expression showed how broken she was. Yes, Lexa was over the heartbreak by now, a year passed since Costia was killed but she had a place in her that froze that day. It started to warm up once she met the blonde.

“that’s the reason a part in my brain was so easy to tell me that having you around was a wrong idea, that’s why I wasn’t fighting against my sister when she told me I can’t stay” Lexa sighed, her heart almost beating out of her chest as she spoke in pure honesty to the blonde “now it’s your turn”

Clarke turned to the side, leaning her back against the couch while holding on to Lexa’s fingers “my boyfriend died too, but I don’t like to talk about it”

The brunette shrugged, pulling Clarke closer by tugging on her fingers until she scooted near “that was the reason you cried?”

The blonde shook her head slowly, leaning into Lexa’s warmth easier now “I just don’t want to get hurt, that’s all. Bell, as sweet as he is just pushed me to your side and wished me luck”

“he wants you to be happy and he thinks that I can make you happy” the brunette sighed, she wanted to be the one making Clarke although she knew it would be hard for the two of them “knowing that he is there for you while I’m away making it slightly better for me”

“Lexa, you’re making me so happy” Clarke held Lexa by both shoulders, preventing her from moving away as she spoke “I haven’t been this happy in a while, maybe never”

The older girl held the other girl’s face in her palms, their foreheads resting against each other as they savored the moment. Clarke’s words were better than what Lexa hoped they would be, now all she has to do is let her know that the blonde made her this happy as well.

Lexa leaned down, almost touching Clarke’s lips with her own when the door was pushed open. Both almost whined when Anya entered the room with her eyebrow raised up in surprise “that’s why you wanted to stay, huh?”

Octavia was nowhere to be seen, when Bellamy arrived at the house he found the worried group searching around the building. Raven filled him in quickly, she was the only one to sit due to the state of her leg that only got worse.

“she came back with Abby maybe two hours ago but disappeared when we started making dinner,” the mechanic said quickly, her face almost too calm. She knew Octavia better than any of them, except for Bellamy of course, and knew better than to worry about her.

“you know what it means?” the older Blake asked, earning a soft nod from the other girl. He slid down the wall next to her, the two watching the entrance of the house for a few minutes.

“you think we are right?” Raven was impatient, her brown eyes gazing at Bellamy before turning back to the door after he only smiled.

Lincoln had his arm wrapped around his short girlfriend as they entered the house together, his jacket sitting on her shoulders. Both Raven and Bellamy let out a sigh of relief, meeting the two half the way inside.

“brother” the older Blake reached his forearm, earning a grin from his younger sister as he shook her boyfriend’s palm, almost glad to have him back by their sides.

“hey, guys” he smiled, pulling Raven into a friendly hug “I heard a rumor that Bellamy switched jobs to be Lexa’s babysitter. Tell me about it”

Chapter Text

Lincoln was walking with Bellamy and Octavia towards Polis. The guys’ old tradition changing slightly to adjust the joining of their favorite girl as they walked in silence.
Abby had to stay back to help Raven, the group decided to take her in for the clinic after her situation has gotten even worse, hopefully, they had a strong painkiller and a stick for her to use for walking.

Bellamy had his last day with Lexa today, making him both excited and nervous. He didn’t voice out his thoughts to his sister, he knew that Octavia was busy with just being happy, too happy for him to just ruin it by his sadness.

He found a true friend in Lexa. After the woman would leave he would be left to his own thoughts once more. It wasn’t that Raven or Clarke wasn’t enough, they were his friends by force and usually it was enough, but Lexa was his friend by choice and he wasn’t ready to give up on her just yet.

The three stopped walking when they entered the town, knowing that each of them had to go in a different direction. Lincoln pecked the top of his girlfriend’s head before leaving them to go and start his shift.

The Blake siblings started pacing towards the main tower, Octavia leaving Bellamy only when she noticed Indra on the other side of the street “I will come by later to have lunch with you, if you could spare me some time”

If Bellamy was even more in his thoughts he would have missed the way the sides of her mouth twisted up in a smile, so he pulled her to his chest for a small goodbye hug “I will always make time for you, baby sister”

She only smiled as she paced away, too excited for the girl he usually knows. As he climbed up the stairs and towards Lexa’s room.
He hoped to see a smiling Clarke as he entered, a small good morning before she leaves the room. But he didn’t expect to find the room empty. Confused, he almost left the room to find Anya and ask for her sister’s whereabouts.

“good morning, Mr guard” Lexa’s voice caught his attention and he turned to watch as the brunette went past him inside her room and sat on her bed with a smile “glad to see you a few hours after I’m up today”

Bellamy tilted his head to the side, showing his confusion as he entered the room as well “good morning, Lex. Where’s Clarke?”

“oh, she’s on her first day at work” the brunette smiled easily, her night with the blonde didn’t go as plan, the two shared a nice amount of their time speaking with Anya “I took her to medical so she won’t be late after we ate breakfast together”

“that’s sweet of you, lover girl” Bellamy grinned before rolling his eyes, he decided not to push for more information about Clarke’s night with Lexa “what are we doing for our last day?”

“I thought about going to eat some bread from my aunt before going to the nightbloods’ yard” Lexa nodded quickly as she made her way towards Bellamy, punching his shoulder affectionately “come on, we have some walking to do”

Clarke was following Nyko and her mother around, listening carefully to the man’s words as she scribbled things on a paper. She had a lot to learn, she knew that. But Nyko immediately designated her to work with younger patients after he had first spoken to her, so at least they knew what she had to learn.

“I think you can just start treating patients” the healer turned to smile at Abby, the woman almost happily leaving to her new office. Nyko turned to look at the blonde, giving her a soft smile “I think we’ll test your knowledge today, one of the kids was hurt in a semi-battle in his training”

“are you talking about Aden?” Clarke asked, tilting her head to the side as Nyko started walking once again, the same direction of the boy’s room she visited only a day before “I was checking on him yesterday”

The healer grinned, nodding his head before pointing at the room “let’s see how you can handle the young bastard”

Lexa sat with Bellamy beside the nightbloods as they practiced. Maybe they knew then that it would be one of their last moments together, just the two of them in the comfortable silence they adopted so easily.

“I am leaving tomorrow” the brunette found herself saying, her fingers occupied with a piece of bread she took from her aunt’s shop “and when I think back to the last week I had, I can’t be more thankful to you, Bell”

Bellamy raised his head, almost surprised at the tone of her voice as he pulled her to his side “you know, Lex, in another life you would have been chosen to be heda and I would be your private guard”

“It could still happen” Lexa leaned back against the wall, her head tilted up towards the sky as she let out a small chuckle “if something happens to Anya and she has to step down from her role as the commander I will have to take her place”

“You will be a good commander, Lexa. I don’t need to know you for too long to know that” the guard leaned too against the wall and watched the light grey sky “and even if you would have to take the job we would be there for you, no matter what happens”

“thank you, Bell” the brunette raised to her feet, but singled for Bellamy to stay seated as she moved towards the nightbloods.

Lexa learned how to fight before she learned how to speak. Her parents only told her they were proud when she showed her fighting skills. It was something about the way she moved so easily, never once she lost a fight.

Aden was still in a hospital bed after a fight that went not as planned, but Lexa knew better than to disregard any of the nightbloods at practice. Lexa was fast to grab a sword, playing with it between her hands before turning to watch the group of nightbloods that were excited to see her join them.

Bellamy watched as the brunette smirked in the direction of the group, soon standing in the middle as they handed her another sword. The 5 nightbloods surrounding her let her get ready for a few more seconds before they threw the first hit.

Octavia found Bellamy still in the nightbloods’ yard around lunchtime. She sat beside him and watched as Lexa coached the group, her cheek wearing a new scar that Octavia could even see from afar.

“Did you let her get hurt? Aren’t you afraid that heda would be mad?” the younger Blake asked worriedly, making her brother chuckle at her expression before he pecked the top of her head.

“She was training with them” Bellamy grinned, turning to gaze at Lexa proudly, almost the same way he looks at his sister daily “I don’t think Anya would find it very problematic”

“Are we going to grab something to eat? I have only 30 minutes break and I don’t want to be late” Octavia pulled her brother up, moving towards the brunette “I’m starving”

They made a stop at the bakery, the younger Blake almost growled at Lexa for taking her there, soon reminded of what happened with Clarke and leaving her aunt without saying another word.

Spending time with both Bellamy and Octavia made Lexa envy their close friendship, she wished that Anya could have been more like Bellamy. She knew that Anya was worried about her but didn’t like to show it too often. The last time the leader acted like she cared was when Lexa was 12.

The 3 sat down in the tower to eat their lunch, laughing as Bellamy pushed too much food into his mouth at once. It was peaceful, Lexa appreciated their time together much more now that she knew she’d be leaving. Octavia was a great guard, she learned by the small change of expression on Indra’s face as she entered the dining room by the time Octavia was just about to leave.

“ready to leave, warrior?” Indra caught the group’s attention but spoke directly to Octavia, only smiling half-heartedly at both Bellamy and Lexa “we have a few more things to do before the day is over”

The younger Blake was quick to follow her teacher, touching her brother’s shoulder before she spoke under her breath “I would come by tomorrow before you leave, Lexa” it was a silent promise between them that made Lexa grin so widely.

“oh, I almost forgot to say that heda is calling for you” Indra turned to look at both the guard and the sister of the commander “she was in her room the last time I saw her”

Lexa tilted her head towards Bellamy, almost confused as to the reason her sister was in her room in the middle of the day, more than the fact that she was asking for her “thank you, Indra, I would be right up I promise”

“you know, Lex, you make too many promises” the guard nudged her shoulder with a soft smile, before rising to his feet and pulling her along with him towards her sister.

Anya was worried. She promised herself to be a better sister before she would let Lexa leave, but by now the younger girl was hanging around with the guard on her last day in Polis. Anya knew it wasn’t going to be so easy, Lexa was pushing her away since she was a child, but she had to try.

The younger girl entered the room only a few moments later, leaving Bellamy on the other side of the door with the rest of Anya’s guards. Lexa sat on the sofa, watching her sister stand by the window, in her usual spot.

“You were looking for me” Lexa’s voice was low, came out as a soft question, hoping that her sister won’t mention the new wound on her cheek, “Indra told me to come”

“yes I was” Anya turned to watch Lexa, the brunette seemed too small in the big room and the leader wondered if she’d ever look big to her “I wanted to speak with you before you leave”

Lexa raised her eyebrow, tilting her head to the side “then talk, sis. I want to spend as much time with my friends as I can”

“this blonde girl from yesterday, is she the reason you wanted to stay in the first place?” Anya asked calmly, readying herself for her sister’s obvious question back. When the leader saw Clarke with Lexa the day before she knew by the mere look in her sister’s eyes about the feelings they shared.

Anya was happy for her sister. After she heard about her ex-girlfriend’s death from some local friends in trikru, the leader feared that she won’t find someone to help cure that part of her. But talking with Clarke made Anya almost regret forcing Lexa to leave.

“don’t you think it was enough that you came when we were just about to kiss, my perfect moment,” Lexa said, overdramatically “she was so frightened of you that I couldn’t just kiss her when you left”

“of course you could, you usually do whatever you want anyways” Anya rolled her eyes, her tone playful and warm, more like the sister she deserved “just kiss her before you leave, sis”

Lexa shrugged her shoulders, her gaze dropping to the floor “why are you forcing me to leave? I finally have the friends you always wanted for me, why are you trying to making me lose them”

“I worry about you. After what happened to Costia because of me, I don’t want anyone to hurt you because you are my sister” the commander sighed, her voice almost desperate.

“You actually sound concerned” the younger girl chuckled, shaking her head. Her eyes met her sister’s, the older girl carrying a frown “who can hurt me if you have my back, Anya? That’s how it should be”

“I’m sorry you feel that way” Anya whispered, she only let herself be small at the mercy of her sister. It wasn’t intentional. When Lexa was a child Anya was too busy to be there and protect her. By now their relationship was already domed, Lexa was too mad of her sister’s behavior to just pass it by easily.

“I’m 20. Don’t you think it should be my decision if to risk myself with staying here and not yours?” Lexa asked, raising to her feet quickly and making her way towards the door “next time it would be too late”

Bellamy sat with Lexa in her room until Clarke arrived much later that night. The two had already had dinner and was just about to go and look for the blonde. Lexa never once mentioned the conversation she had with her sister to Bellamy, she knew that she shouldn’t speak disrespectfully to their leader but found it too hard to addressing her sister as the commander.

Clarke almost crashed into Lexa’s arms, letting Bellamy watch as she curled tiredly into the brunette’s stronghold. She was too tired to speak, only looking for Lexa’s comfort.

She had a great day, actually. She was just not used to enjoying her workday this much ever since she started working. But she wanted to spend as much time as she can with Lexa before she leaves.

“How was your day, princess?” Lexa whispered in Clarke’s ear, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, almost forgetting that Bellamy was present in the room.

“it was great, actually” Clarke whispered back, finally grinning up at her best friend on the sofa in front of her. She spoke louder so he would hear her as well “they decided that I would be a pediatrician, which is kind of perfect because I usually don’t stand adults, except for you two of course”

“that’s fantastic, princess” Bellamy grinned widely, he couldn’t be more proud of her as he jumped on the other couch, crushing both girls in his embrace “so incredibly proud of you, kiddo”

“Thanks, Bell,” Clarke said almost shyly, giving him a soft smile “now can you get off of us, please?”

The guard rolled his eyes, moving around so he was standing in front of the two “I would leave you two to mess around, I will be back when the sun rises to say my goodbye”

The girls nodded with a smile, settling in the seat more comfortable as they watched him leave. Lexa wrapped her arms tighter around Clarke’s waist and she let out a sigh. How long would it be until she’d have the blonde in her arms, she didn’t know.

While Lexa was too busy being sad about leaving, Clarke was running all of her options in her head. She could visit Lexa in trikru, sometimes. Or she could convince Bellamy to go and get her for them. But she was being childish, if Lexa promised she’d be back then she will, Clarke hoped.

“what are you thinking about?” the blonde asked, her fingers tracing over the brunette’s jaw gently. Her curious blue eyes meeting sad green ones “I could try and make it better”

"When they told me I have to visit my sister, I didn't know it would change my life” Lexa whispered under her breath, her eyes flickering down towards the blonde’s lips “I can't believe I'm saying this, but I will come back to Polis, Clarke, I will see you again"

The blonde reached forward with a sigh, her lips meeting Lexa’s in a soft kiss. The two waited since they first saw each other for that one kiss, that spilled their hearts by the mere touch of the lips.

Lexa was surprised when she disconnected her lips from the blonde’s, her eyes meeting the other girl’s and they smiled at each other. The silent was comfortable as the blonde found her place, her head pressed against Lexa’s chest.

It was much later that night, Clarke was already sound asleep in Lexa’s too wide bed as the brunette found it difficult hard to sleep.

It was her last evening in Polis before she leaves, the view from the tower was the best Lexa had ever seen and she found peace in it now. After all those years that she spent time in Polis with Titus and hated every second of it, now Lexa had two reasons more to prefer the capital over her hometown.

Bellamy. Only the thought about the friendly guard brings a smile to Lexa’s lips. She never had a friend like him before, someone that she knew would always have her back no matter what decisions she would make and no matter what the outcome would be. She hoped that he thought well of her, the way she thought of him.

Then there was Clarke. Pools of blue eyes hunted Lexa. She wanted to be close to her, it scared her. How can she give up staying in Polis while knowing that no matter what the blonde would still be on her mind so easily. If she was in the capital she could have a fair chance with Clarke.

Lexa turned to look at the blonde in her bed, only smiling slightly as her heart broke. She made too many promises that she didn’t know if she could keep. Bellamy told her not to make promises but she found herself making promises to herself more than to them.

Before snuggling back to the sleeping blonde Lexa found herself writing Clarke a letter, the words in her heart spilling on the page and making her feel empty inside.

Clarke cuddled to Lexa’s side as soon as she laid down on the bed, her eyes sliding open, looking for the brunette’s gaze in the dark “too much on your mind?”

“you’re on my mind” the brunette whispered before she kissed the top of the blonde’s head.

“I’m still right here, Lex, you can think about me tomorrow” Clarke let up a throaty chuckle, but leaning her head closer to Lexa’s heart, listening to the beats carefully.

“good night, princess”

Chapter Text

Bellamy was in the tower earlier than usual. He knew that Lexa was due to leave early in the day and he wanted to make sure she was ready to leave. He wanted her to stay as much as he wanted his friends to have respectable jobs, but in this scenario letting Abby go back to being a doctor won against every other option.

It was around 7am, the night shift was in their last minutes and Bellamy spotted some of his friends at work looking exhausted. He only waved and smiled as he passed them, climbing up and towards the throne room.

“good morning, heda,” he said after pushing the door opened, giving the woman a soft bow “I just wanted to ask when Lexa would be leaving back home today?”

Anya turned towards the guy, wearing her famous half smile “she would be leaving after lunch with Lincoln as her guard. Would you bring her for me later so I could say goodbye?”

“of course, heda” Bellamy nodded, stepping back towards the door but stopped as he heard the commander say quickly.

“thank you for being her friend, Blake. I couldn’t pick a better guard for her to stroll around with” Anya smiled softer now, speaking honestly to the guard and to him only.

“thank you for trusting me, heda” Bellamy turned around only after he left the room, respecting the commander. He made his way towards Lexa’s room for the last time, knocking slightly on the door before opening it.

Bellamy remembered the day they met, only a few days ago but a world away. Lexa barely smiled at him in Anya’s throne room and now she was smirking in his direction, making him shake his head with a smile of his own. She was still in bed with Clarke, the blonde still fast asleep in her embrace.

“this is how a couple should look” he said, just above a whisper. Lexa held onto a chuckle, scared to let her body move around in fear of waking the blonde girl in her arms “you finally kissed her, lover girl?”

“she would tell you if she’d like to” the brunette mumbled, sneaking out of the blonde’s arms as gently as she could. She stood in front of Bellamy with her fists pressed to the sides of her body with a smile.

“that’s like saying that you don’t want to tell me yourself” Bellamy ran his fingers through his hair as punched his friend’s shoulder wearing the wildest grin he could master “I can’t believe you waited the whole week to kiss her the day before you leave”

“don’t let her lie to you, Bell” Clarke coughed, moving around the bed until she was leaning against the board of the bed “I kissed her, she didn’t have the courage to kiss me”

“you can say I didn’t have courage while I was just respecting your privacy” Lexa rolled her eyes, but her smile was softer then, directed to the beautiful blonde woman before turning to the guard “did you ask Anya when I would be leaving?”

“I did. We have time until after lunch” Bellamy nodded with a frown “Lincoln would be taking you home”

“anyone is better than Gustus, he was silent the whole way and I was sure I was going to lose my mind” the brunette shook her head “so we’ll get ready and go to the bakery then”

“you can’t take Clarke to the bakery” Bellamy stated, making both girls shake their heads with a chuckle “I love your aunt Lex, but she’s scaring me”

“it’s the closure we need, Bell” Lexa grinned, pulling on Clarke’s finger and helping her out of bed “I will give you some of my clothes for the day”

“I need to treat the cut on your cheek before we leave” the blonde held onto the brunette’s cheek gently, her thumb touched ever so softly graced her lover’s wound. Clarke raised her eyebrow for her company’s agreement, but already made her decision.

It was the first time Clarke neared the bakery after the incident. She walked between the guard and the brunette, the two ready to attack the latter’s aunt if it came to it. Bellamy gazed at her too often, he was scared of Lexa’s aunt more than Clarke or Lexa was.

“let me enter first” the brunette said as they neared the small shop, the smell making both Clarke and Bellamy to stare wide eyed at the breads “I will call you”

The girl’s aunt watched the guard from afar, shading the blonde girl. Lexa gave her aunt a sheepish smile, reaching for a cinnamon bun with a wiggle of her eyebrows. The woman only shrugging her shoulder with a sigh.

“I must say, aunty, this is still my favorite place in Polis” Lexa started, stepping closer to her aunt as she ignored the information she had to share with the woman at first “still can’t believe Anya won’t pay you to feed the commander’s tower”

“are you going to finally pay for all the food you took?” the woman raised a questioning eyebrow before going to the back of the shop.

“no but I will” Clarke pushed passed Bellamy, her voice caught both the woman and her niece’s attention as she entered the shop.

“you brought her here?” the shop owner said through gritted teeth, her fingers finding the first sharp thing in her reach, pushing both Lexa and Bellamy to block her path.

“I came to apologize and to promise to pay you back for everything I stole” the blonde said quickly from behind Bellamy’s back. The guard blocking her view completely “you have every right to be mad and I am willing to work for you”

“come on, aunty, for your favorite niece before she leaves town again” Lexa sounded more playful than she meant, her green eyes gazed at her aunt pleadingly “Clarke started working for Anya so she would have your money back quickly”

The woman looked between the guard and her niece, dropping the knife with a huff “you pity pretty girls, Lexa” she shook her head, earning a grin from the younger brunette “if I ever catch another one stealing I promise not to come to you”

“so, we’re ok?” Clarke peaked through the tall guy’s shoulder, giving a hesitant smile to both the aunt and her niece and earning an encouraging smile from her lover.

“we will be after you pay me back” the woman left her place, walking inside the storage room behind the cashier.

Lexa grabbed 2 more pieces of breads before pushing Bellamy and Clarke out of the shop with a smile, directing them towards the bench behind the bakery, a place she and Bellamy have shared before. She handed each of her friends a small cinnamon bun with a smile.

Raven was finally feeling better, she took too many painkillers the day Abby took her to the healing center in Polis, Nyko sent her to start working on a brace while she felt better. She knew exactly what she was aiming for, but knew that it would take her some time as she was trying not to stumble every time she walked.

The painkillers were effective, Raven made her way down the stairs to watch both Monty and Jasper laying on the floor in boredom. The mechanic used her left leg to kick the younger one in his knee, making him whine and gaze up to her.

“come on, boys, we’re going to say goodbye to Lexa” Raven reached one hand to help Jasper stand while she used the other to steady herself against the wall. The boy grinned as he stood, soon helping his best friend up as well.

The drive towards Polis was short, Monty was in charge of music as Jasper belted out to every song he played. Raven liked the company of the two best friends, their optimism reaching her exactly in the time she needed it the most.

After Monty asked for Lexa in the tower and came back with a negative answer, Raven drove them towards the bakery. She guessed that if Lexa would travel anywhere outside the tower would be to the small shop.

The mechanic parked the van behind the bakery, already noticing her friends sitting and laughing around a wooden table. Jasper was the first to leave the car, followed by Monty.

“I had to witness Clexa with my own eyes” Jasper said, patting the blonde woman on her cheek as he grinned up at her, sitting beside her while eyeing the arm she wrapped around the brunette “the others came to say goodbye to Lexa, if you were wondering”

Clarke raised her eyebrow at her friend before rising to her feet to help Raven get out of the rover. The mechanic smiled awkwardly, leaning her body against Clarke as she jumped out of the car.

“how are you feeling?” the blonde held Raven’s waist as she helped her all the way to the table. They haven’t seen each other since Raven started taking her medication.

“much better” the mechanic ruffled Bellamy’s hair and squeezed Lexa’s shoulder before taking a seat “Nyko let me borrow some tools in hope I could make a brace that would help me walk easier”

“that’s amazing, Ray Ray” Bellamy smiled at her, reaching to grab her hand to show his support. He turned to watch Monty and Jasper, his eyebrow raised in surprise “were you babysitting those two?”

“Monty is the babysitter” Raven shrugged, grabbing the bread from Clarke’s fingers, taking a small bite out of the small piece of bread that the blonde already had left and smiling at Lexa “I made them come and say goodbye to the first person to make Clarke smile since she was born”

The brunette woman dropped her head, hiding her blush from the group surrounding her as the blonde let out an annoyed chuckle. It was true, Lexa made her feel better than anyone else ever did but she didn’t mean to let Raven take advantage of it. Lexa felt uncomfortable, she soon left the table in meaning to bring more pastries back from the bakery.

When she was out of hearing range, Clarke spoke up “be careful Reyes, I have no problem in making jokes about you and my mother”

They stared at each other with a small challenging smile until Lexa returned, putting a basket of all kind of breads down on the table with a sheepish smile “this time I left money for my aunt instead of just taking the food from her”

“maybe you should, Lex” Bellamy chuckled as he was the first to take from the basket, pulling it towards Jasper with a roll of his eyes “it would have saved us so much troubles”

Lexa raised her eyebrow as she turned to gaze at the blonde to her side, the smile on her lips was the softest she could manage “look how well it did the last time Clarke took food without paying”

“yeah she almost got killed” the group turned to gaze at Octavia, the young warrior just made her way down the street near the bakery to find her friends, now that she found them she took a seat beside her brother.

“yes, you’re right” Clarke nodded, running her fingers through her messy blonde hair “but look at the bright side, I don’t only lived through this but I met Lexa and she was my hero”

It wasn’t until lunch that the group made their way back to the tower. Raven left, grabbing the boys with her. She hugged Lexa tightly, punching her shoulder softly before waving at her friends. She didn’t want to tell Lexa that she was meaning her words, and that she was meant to be with Clarke and make her happy.

“what now?” Bellamy was left with Clarke, Lexa and Octavia as they stopped by the entrance. They had two more hours before the brunette would be leaving and the guard tried to make it seem as if it was longer than that.

“I have to be back with Indra” the younger Blake said, the smile lasting on her lips from their funny conversation earlier. Bellamy seemed more calm around Lexa, it made his sister more confident in the brunette “it was nice to meet you, Lexa. Next time in trikru”

Lexa reached forward to shake the shorter girl’s palm, the two smiling at each other. It wasn’t the friendly smile they saved for the older Blake, but it was as allies.

“next time in trikru, when you and Linc would come to get me” Lexa said before the warrior turned on her heels and made her way back to work.

Bellamy left Clarke with Lexa at the latter’s request. She wanted to have a last few minutes alone with the blonde before lunch rolls around and she would have to say goodbye.

The blonde sat on the couch, her eyes following Lexa’s moves as she paced around the room. What do you say in times like this? The brunette never had to do any goodbye conversation like this before, never felt obligated to say what she’s thinking. She didn’t know when she would be back, when she would see the blonde again.

Clarke grabbed her hand, making Lexa stop walking and turn to gaze back at the blonde, when blue eyes met green ones “why are you acting as if you’re going to break up with me, Lex? we’re not even properly dating yet”

Lexa grinned down at Clarke, sliding to sit beside her on the couch. Her long arm soon wrapped around the blonde’s shoulder as she pulled her closer “I wrote you something”

The blonde turned her head slightly, staring at her lover curiously “come on, let me read it. Did you ask me to come back with you?”

“I did not but it is actually not the worse idea” Lexa run her fingers through blonde locks, resting her palm on Clarke’s cheek “I will give it to you before I would leave”

Neither women knew the effect they would have on each other when they first met. The strong connection they shared was something special, and Clarke knew that she would do whatever it takes to see Lexa again, to make sure she would feel again.

Their lips met in a gentle kiss, saying goodbye with the soft touch. Clarke didn’t know if she could watch Lexa walk away, so when Bellamy arrived to take the brunette for lunch, she raised to her feet and pulled the taller girl with her.

“I think it would be safer if we made our goodbyes now” she wrapped her arms around Lexa’s waist and pulled her as close as she could “I might cry if I would have to watch you walk away, although your ass do look nice”

The brunette couldn’t help but let out a throaty chuckle, Bellamy rolling his eyes in response as well. Lexa reached for the piece of paper on the table, leaving it in Clarke’s hand “shut up, princess”

“I am going to miss you, Lex” the blonde whispered into the brunette’s shoulder, tightening her arms around her waist while keeping the paper from folding “come back to me”

“I will” Lexa held Clarke’s cheeks before pecking her lips shortly “I have no one else to promise this too, I’m all yours”

The blonde watched as Bellamy grabbed Lexa’s shoulder, almost dragging her out of the room. He pushed his head inside the room, his dark eyes meeting Clarke’s blue ones and he sighed “it will get easier, princess, don’t be here when we return. Go to work”

“thank you, Bell” Clarke nodded, Bellamy soon disappearing behind the closed door and the blonde let out a sigh.

Lexa knew that it’s not fair to leave Clarke with her thoughts, but she didn’t know how to verbal them out, how to speak her mind. She never once had to tell someone she cared, Costia was always the brave one.

The brunette sat in front of the guard, using her forks to play around with the pieces of food on her plate. Bellamy ate in silent as he watched the sad girl with a frown “hey Lex, the food won’t eat itself and you have a long way back home”

“I ate too much of my aunt’s bread to be honest” it was true, Lexa didn’t feel a bit hungry after the group downed at least 15 buns, only half was paid “and this food is literally tasteless”

“it’s my lunch and dinner in the past 5 years” Bellamy almost whined, gazing down at his food sadly “you have another source but I don’t”

“I hope that now that my sister actually took Clarke and Octavia to work here, your financial condition would be affording for you to buy my aunt’s food at least once a week” Lexa grinned, pushing her plate away from her.

“I would walk there just to remind myself of your too many promises” he chuckled, his eyes landing on his friend at the back of the room and he could see their remaining time fading away “here’s Linc. Let’s take you to say goodbye to your sister”

“do we have to?”

Clarke sat down in medical beside a sleeping Aden, the boy was in a much better shape and was soon ready to leave his bed and go back to training. But for his well being Clarke decided to give him another day before he would be released.

Lexa’s letter was held tightly between her fingers as she debated if she should read it here, before going back to work. Lexa was already on her way back home.

“what are you waiting for?” Aden’s voice surprised the blonde as she met his tired gaze “you have been staring at this paper for a while now”

“I’m worried of what it contains” Clarke explained softly, the boy watching her “I don’t want to expect for too much, I would rather be surprised”

“if you won’t read, you’d never know. Just do it” the boy nodded his head, his hair falling on over his eyes before he turned his back towards Clarke and drifted back to sleep.

With shaky hands, Clarke opened her letter, her eyes gazing at the words.

Clarke,
I was never good with words but neither I was with promises because I had no one I wanted to keep them for, and now that you’re sleeping in my bed I wonder which of my promises I won’t be able to make.
You are what I wanted for so long and with a heavy heart I would be leaving you after I really did try and stay.
You and Bellamy are more of a family to me than Anya is and I wanted this for so long and I finally have it.
Now that you’re reading this and I am more smart when I don’t feel pressured to make you endlessly happy (I would really happy to make you happy but it’s easier when I’m by your side and not at home) I want you to know that I would do everything I can to be by your side, and next time, we would have a fair chance.
with so much love,
Lexa

Chapter Text

Bellamy walked down the road, his mind racing as he pushed the rifle closer to his body. His hair was longer, the beard was covering his face fully. He didn’t know how Lexa would react to seeing him once again.

A year passed, or at least almost a year since the commander’s little sister had to leave back to her home. A year since he watched Clarke’s heart break while she read Lexa’s letter over and over, a year since his own first real friend left.

Bellamy almost ran as he noticed the brunette at the end of the road, her head was bowed down as a woman was speaking to her. It almost seemed as if she was scolding the younger woman as she spoke. Every step the guard was making he could hear her words better, although he didn’t want to.

“... You must make better choices than your sister, use your power for stronger more powerful decisions than her” the woman almost pointed out Anya’s mistakes to her younger sister with a sharp voice.

Bellamy knew he had to make his presences known, coughing to earn Lexa’s attention “I came to take you to the capitol, ma’am”

His voice was enough for Lexa to turn her head to the side, the smile covering her features seemed so easy then, he hoped he could make her smile more often now “I think I told you not to call me that, Bell”

“Sorry, you’re right” he grinned, tilting his head to the side to cast a glance to the irritated older woman before looking at his friend again “you are always right, heda”

Lexa freed the woman’s hold on her forearm to smack Bellamy on the back of his head softly before she pulled on his arms until he hugged her. They did miss each other, more than they could explain after on;y a week spent together “if you’re calling me heda again, Bell, I will be sure to fire you the minute I will sit on my throne”

“your throne now, heda” the guard pushed Lexa back, making her stumble slightly with a glare, turning her back to him “I missed you, Lex, you have no idea how much”

The woman watched as Lexa’s glare turned quickly into the softest smile and she turned her head back again “I missed you too, Bell. I missed Polis as well”

“you say you missed Clarke, it’s fine. You have a place in your heart for the both of us” he said sarcastically, giving the brunette a knowing look “I came to take you back. I was Anya’s favorite guard. If you don’t count my sister, of course, she’s too busy with Indra to do simple tasks like grabbing the new commander”

Lexa rolled her eyes as she went to grab her one simple bag from beside the silent woman, giving her a short nod. They gazed at each other, but haven’t made a move to speak with the other before Lexa joined Bellamy “let’s go”

Clarke looked helpless as she leaned against the wall, watching the body of the commander lay limply on the operating table. Her mother tried everything to save the leader with the help of both Nyko and her daughter but for no use, Anya was dead before they started.

When Anya was attacked, the healers had to try and save her while the guards had already left to bring the new commander all the way from Trikru, making the blonde’s stomach turn and not from the blood smeared over her hands. She hasn’t seen Lexa since the year before, when the girl promised to be back.

It was hard at first. Usually, it was easy to carry the weight with the help of Bellamy, but the guard was almost as heart broken as she was when Lexa left. So they buried themselves in work, helping Raven get better after her new treatment, helping her mother with finding a new place that could hold the whole group together.

She wanted to say it was easier, wanted to say that when she sees Lexa that her heart won’t beat itself out of her chest, but she couldn’t promise herself that. She knew she would have to see her, but she didn’t want to.

“You were great, honey” Abby tried to catch her daughter’s attention, the blonde finally moving from her place against the wall to watch her mother “I’m sorry we couldn’t help her”

“me too, mom” Clarke shrugged, passing her mom easily before the woman stopped her, Abby looked at her knowingly “what do you want, mom?”

“it’s Lexa, isn’t it?” the doctor grabbed Clarke’s arm, almost examining her daughter’s face with her soft gaze “you have been so quiet lately, are you worried about having her back?”

“I’m not worried, I don’t want to see her at all” the blonde freed her arm from her mother’s hold before walking towards the exit of the room “I don’t want to talk about her mom, I just want to leave before she arrives”

Clarke left the room, passing her colleagues and acknowledging them with only a soft nod of her head. The blonde couldn’t deny it anymore, knowing that Lexa was back after the year that passed, after she promised to be back so many times but never actually fulfill it made Clarke’s heart break twice as much as the fact that she broke the promises.

Bellamy forced Lexa to let him carry her bags. He said that a commander should let her guards do such jobs for her “how was the last year since I saw you?”

Lexa let out a forced sigh, letting a small awkward smile cover her features “it’s been good. I wish had more courage to come and visit Polis but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. How’s Clarke?”

“she’s mad” the guard smiled sheepishly, squeezing her shoulder softly before turning back towards the road “she was in your sister’s surgery when I left to get you, but I know for a fact that this isn’t easy for her. You broke her heart”

The brunette dropped her gaze, slouching her shoulders. She couldn’t explain the way her heart flipped when she thought about Clarke, she was too scared to see her again, too scared to have her heart broken by the blonde to make the effort to come to Polis. When the rumor about Anya’s death arrived Lexa feared both her new job and to face the blonde once again.

“I’m sorry, Bell. I will make it up to her” Lexa sped up the pace, pulling on his guard jacket for him to join her, he missed this.

“I know you will, Lex” he freed her fingers from his shirt with a small shake but gave her a brave smile, maybe braver than he actually was about this “don’t make any promises to me or to Clarke, just do it, prove yourself”

When the two arrived, their conversation was much more playful than they should have been. Bellamy knew that no matter what would happen once they arrive Lexa would be forced to be serious about her new job. He wanted to make her feel comfortable with him like they used to be, to remind her that he was there for her as a friend.

“do you remember our conversation from last year?” Bellamy asked as they neared the tower, his rifle held tightly against his chest as he watched the people around them carefully “when I told you that I know you’d be a good commander? I still believe that”

The small brunette raised her head to look at him, the same warmth she remembered from their last time together spreaded through her chest and she let out a soft sigh “you’d have to remind me that in a few weeks when they told me everything I need to do and I consider running away as a real option”

“I will” Bellamy chuckled, climbing the stairs just behind her, watching her back quite literally. Titus was waiting for them in the throne room but first they had to drop Lexa’s belongings in her new room, the room Anya owned for more than 12 years.

Clarke was released home early, unlike her mother that stayed for a night shift. The blonde was planning to cook dinner with Jasper and then go to sleep. Bellamy was going to stay the night on the night shift with Lexa, being the great friend he is but the blonde felt betrayed.

She knew Lexa needs him more than Clarke did, because Lexa was forced into a job that she actually didn’t want to take and she was a good person, she deserved someone to help her through it and Bellamy was the best person Clarke knew.

Jasper was in the kitchen when the blonde entered the apartment. They moved closer into the Capital, into a small flat that had 3 small bedrooms and a living room. Jasper and Monty sharing a room, Clarke and Octavia, and Raven with Abby. Bellamy received a large couch that satisfied his needs more than he dreamed.

The youngest boy watched the blonde with confusion, the short beard that covered his chin made him seem more mature now. His left eyebrow was raised up as he followed Clarke’s moves and waited for something, a reason why she returned home was the first question that came to his mind.

“come on, princess, talk to me” he reached for her forearm, making the blue eyes turn to meet his dark brown ones “you never come home early, it’s weird”

It was a little earlier than 5pm, the 18 years old came back from work only an hour before “I was tired and Anya’s surgery was at least 15 hours. I think I deserve to come back early for once”

“Hey it’s not that you don’t deserve to have some free time, it’s just unlike you” Jasper ruffled her hair with an adoring smile before he sat beside the table “so why are you really home, princess”

“Lexa is taking Anya’s place as the new commander” Clarke dropped her gaze to the floor. Jasper was her supporting shoulder ever since Lexa left and Bellamy was too busy with his own heartbreak to help her deal with her own “and now I am officially working for her”

Jasper pulled her into a hug after rising from his seat, squeezing her body tightly before leaning back to give her a cheeky smile “do you want me to go and punch her?”

Clarke couldn’t help but let out a chuckle, punching the boy’s shoulder with her fist and earning a groan from the younger guy “I don’t want to see what happens to you once you try, she’s stronger you”

The boy pouted, wiping away fake tears “I hope she is if she is going to be our commander, I believe in rough power”

“shut up, douchebag” Clarke chuckled once again, finding Jasper’s humor to have a calming effect “thank you for making me smile, Jessie”

Lexa was sitting on the throne for the first time, but only in Bellamy’s presence. She ordered Titus to let him stay with her at least for the first night, the guard was making her laugh every time the brunette got stressed.

“so,” Bellamy watched her from his position by the door, her arms resting in her lap as she watched the throne room in awe “when are you going to man up and go see Clarke?”

“We just arrived, I haven’t been to my aunt’s shop yet. I have to speak with her about making food for the tower” Lexa gave her friend a cheeky smile before shaking her head and letting the smile drop “I will go see her tomorrow morning or after she finished off with work”

“let’s go now” Bellamy reached his palm forward, waiting for the brunette to decide “after the ceremony tomorrow morning, Lexa, you’d be known as a serving commander and I would have to get Clarke here, which won’t be easy”

Lexa dropped her head to the floor before taking the guards palm, a soft grin spreading across her face “you just want to show me the new apartment, huh?”

“You caught me” Bellamy put his hands up before pulling her once again towards the door “I must show you my new and shining couch”

“it always the weirdest things that excite you” Lexa chuckled, letting herself be dragged towards the stairs by an excited Bellamy.

Octavia and Lincoln watched Clarke sit quietly with Jasper as they devoured their dinner. The guards knew the reason why the blonde let her gaze wander on her food more than her companion but didn’t know what to do, years of knowing Clarke and Octavia still didn’t know what to do.

Her heartbreak was too hard for the young Blake to suffer. She had to watch her best friend being drained into this weak version that was only similar in the dry sense of humor and her looks. Octavia knew that the only person who could fix their doings was Lexa herself, but doubted that the blonde was willingly meet the new commander.

The Blake siblings didn’t know they were thinking the same way about the whole situation between the two, so the younger Blake was more than surprised to see the commander enter their small apartment.

Lincoln was fast to react, bowing his head with a soft smile and pulling Lexa into a hug after she smiled back. She was quick to squeezed Octavia’s shoulder before moving towards the table. She was impressed with what they achieved in the year she was at home, their small place much cozier than the last house.

“hey, princess” Lexa’s voice was calm, ignoring the messiness of butterflies erupted in her stomach once she saw the blonde woman again. She sat beside Clarke, when blue eyes met green ones in surprise “I think we need to talk”

Clarke moved away, pushing Jasper to make a silent walk towards her room. She stopped beside Bellamy, their eyes meeting “you missing her doesn’t mean I missed her too. You can’t force her back into my life because she is important to you”

She slammed the door behind her as she entered the room, the group in the living room staring at Bellamy wide eyed. Lexa followed her, stopping each of the others from doing the same “this is my doings, let me fix it. I’m sorry, Bell”

Clarke’s words did sting, but she deserved it more than she thought. Breaking the blonde’s heart was the last thing she planned to do, she wanted to mend it and hold it together if needs to. She wanted the blue eyed woman to be at her side every second of the day.

Lexa entered the room after understanding that there wasn’t a lock and soon closed it behind her. She watched as Clarke paced around, her face red and the tears were visible from Lexa’s position. Before she was able to react, to near the blonde, Clarke pushed the brunette harshly into the closed door.

“This is what it felt like. I was so surprised that you didn’t keep your promises that the air was gone from my lungs, like it is for you now” Clarke whispered into Lexa’s face, they were so closed but the latter didn’t dare to move “I hate feelings and you made me feel things and I thought you’d take care of them for me”

She pushed her once again into the wooden door, almost cracking it by the force “I am sorry Clarke, I am a coward” Lexa would never admit her mistakes to anyone besides the blonde and now as she watched her she couldn’t help but wish she had made a better decision.

“You want me to forgive you because you admitted to being a coward? that’s easy” Clarke gave Lexa a disdainful smile before trying to step away from the brunette but was stopped by the woman’s arm around her waist.

“You can give me hell Clarke, for the way I acted, but I’m here now and I am not going to leave anytime soon. So give me a chance” Lexa almost pleaded as she rested her forehead against the blonde’s.

“I need time, Lexa” Clarke whispered before freeing herself from Lexa’s hold and laying down on her bed.

Octavia took the new commander back to the tower, in hopes that Bellamy would be able to speak with her best friend and calm her down. Lexa knew that the younger Blake sister was not on the same side as her brother, and was mad too for the way she acted.

“I know you’re mad” Lexa began once they almost reached the tower when the young commander would be surly left for herself.

“you don’t know anything, heda” the guard shrugged slightly, turning to watch the older woman with hidden disrespect “I want you to fix her. You don’t have to be anything for her after you make it better because right now I am not sure how to keep moving forward”

Lexa couldn’t find her words. She had to do as she was asked because she usually was good at keeping her promises and by breaking them she was hurting the first person who mattered. Now in her new position, she had to have Clarke by her side, for the normality of their relationship, for the way that the blonde made her feel.

Bellamy tried to speak with Clarke. He sat on the end of her bed, watching his best friend cuddled into her sheets. It wasn’t for the fact that Lexa was here that the blonde wouldn’t dare look at him, it was because he brought her over.

“you wouldn’t want me to forgive her this badly if you were in my shoes. Think about it, Bell. Your two best friends are dating, what a wonderful world for you, Bellamy Blake. But right now, I really wish that Jasper or Octavia would be sitting beside me instead of you” it was harsh words, Clarke knew, but the older guy was clearly taking the other side from her and she wouldn’t let it slid for him.

“I am sorry you’re feeling like this” he sighed, moving to stand up and leave “I didn’t mean to make this happen, I wanted you to see that she’s feeling sorry. If you change your mind about seeing her or me, we have time before the ceremony tomorrow morning”

Clarke was on the roof most of the night. She knew that Bellamy only meant well, even when he pushed Lexa to her side without a care in the world. He was a sweet guy, but innocent. Lincoln sat with her for a while in hope that she would speak with him. But she was too stubborn to speak with anyone.

“I think that a bottle of the strongest liquor we have is exactly what you need” Raven almost stumbled as she made her way through the roof to take the seat beside the blonde, her new brace making it easier to climb up.

“you know me so well, Reyes” Clarke reached forward, both to help the woman sit more comfortably and to grab the bottle from her hands “I need any help with courage now, or anything to help me make a decision”

“not the bottle, I can help you, princess” the older woman squeezed the other’s shoulder as she watched Clarke take a swig of the alcohol. It was already around 4 am, she had nothing to lose she wasn’t going to sleep any time soon “you need to forgive Lexa”

“shut up” Clarke dismissed her, taking another gulp and shaking her head “don’t get in this too, Bellamy is the only one that is allowed to be involved in this”

“I just know that you never been this happy before, I mean, when you were with Lexa” Raven pushed farther, she knew the blonde better than most people and she knew exactly what to say. Being outside of the circle of the two girls and Bellamy was the best position for Raven to really understand the situation “just push the disappointment away and give her a real chance. If she fucks up then, Octavia and I will teach her a lesson”

“You promise?” asked an intoxicated Clarke, her eyes already not as focused as 10 minutes ago as she clung onto Raven for support.

“of course, princess” the older girl moved to stand up and pull the blonde with her “come on, let’s go and see her”

“Reyes, she’s asleep” Clarke stated the obvious before finding the power to stand and even help the other girl walked towards the door and back down the stairs towards the apartment.

“well, we don’t care, princess” Raven pushed away from the blonde so she could enter the apartment “I’ll see you in the ceremony tomorrow, I’m coming as Abby’s date”

“of course you are” the blonde rolled her eyes as she handed the bottle back to the older girl “I will be with Lexa, if everything goes as planned”

“good luck, lovergirl” Raven grinned, watching Clarke stumble down the stairs awkwardly and to the cold night air.

The blonde wouldn’t even consider it if Raven wouldn’t have brought the alcohol, yes knowing that she had the older girl and her best friend’s back was good information as well but she needed the confidence boost that she received from the bottle to do what she needed to.

Clarke didn’t believe in love at first sight, but she did believe in the feelings in her guts that was telling her that Lexa was back for a reason. She gave the brunette a hard time because she felt she deserve it, but now she was tired and she missed Lexa more than she had words to describe.

Climbing up the tower, Clarke wondered if the nightly walk made her less intoxicated or if it was the seriousness of what she was about to do. Beside Lexa’s new room were two guards. The blonde smiled up at the two, already knowing them as some of Bellamy’s friends.

“Hey Miller, Bryan” she addressed the guards with a soft smile “I need to speak with Lexa, can I enter?”

Miller gazed at his colleague before letting his eyes wander around “be quick, she has to be up at around 6” he pushed the door opened slightly, so the blonde could slip in without making a big scene.

Surprisingly, Clarke found the brunette sprawled on the couch instead of the enormous bed, the book in her lap still opened. It seemed as if she was awake until later than she planned, still in the clothes from her day and her hair braided.

The blonde moved around to sit on the floor beside the sofa, her back pressed next to Lexa. The brunette stirred awake, noticing a mane of blonde hair right next to her. She slowly reached forward, running her fingers through the hair as blue eyes met green ones in the dark.

“what made you change your mind?” Lexa let out in a small voice, almost afraid that she’s dreaming the blonde woman to her side.

“Raven and a bottle of my mom’s most expensive bottle of alcohol” Clarke whispered back, climbing to the couch beside Lexa and laying in the latter’s arms.

“well, I must thank her tomorrow then” Lexa wrapped a protective arm around Clarke’s waist, pecking the side of her head.

“she said that if you’d harm me again she’d come for you with Octavia” the blonde closed her eyes, her head resting comfortably on the brunette’s shoulder.

“I must be careful then”