Chapter Text
The former professor was worried for all her now grown students. Dimitri especially. She didn't want to leave him alone for too long lest he do something impulsive and reckless in pursuit of his revenge on Edelgard. She had left his side not too long ago in the cathedral after he dismissed her grumpily and as she crossed the bridge, there she saw Felix.
Felix was annoyed, she could just tell with how he was carrying himself. Well, that wasn't unusual. However, Byleth had noticed he seemed more annoyed than usual anyway. That or in the five years she had seemingly missed, Felix's patience for anything was at this point non-existent. However, she knew while the latter was possible, she had noticed that his annoyance was pointed more towards her. Well, and Dimitri but again, nothing new there.
She slowed her walk to a stop when she had gotten close. When they made eye contact, his annoyance grew. She could feel it at this point. He mentioned he didn’t like making eye contact before, so he must have really had something on his mind. She gave him a questioning look, wanting to ask why he seemed upset but never having the ability to find the right string of words to voice it out.
"What?" His tone was biting. It didn't affect her like it used to. She remembered before that she was certain he hated her but as the year went by, she realized Fraldarius heir was kinder than what his tone implied.
"Don't look at me like that," he snapped. She had been told she was quite expressionless and very hard to read growing up by all kinds of people, so she didn't even realize she must have been giving him a look. What kind of look, she wasn't even sure herself.
"Like what?" She replied after a moment of silence. The swordsman shook his head and let out an exasperated sigh.
"The fact that you don't even realize it makes it even more irritating to look at you," he turned and started walking away but Byleth was quick to take hold of his hand.
"Talk to me," she spoke in the same passive voice she's always had and as he looked at her, his gaze softened. Just barely noticeable. If she didn't know him as well as she did, she was sure she wouldn't have noticed. Then before she knew it, his expression hardened again.
"Like how you talk with us? Pass," he snatched his hand out of her grip and walked away. This time she didn't stop him. She could only watch.
"I wonder… if I was a better teacher I could have prevented all this," she whispered to herself.
--
"Train with me," she gently tossed a wooden sword the the dark haired man which he easily caught. Only a few hours had passed since their interaction on the bridge. Felix raised an eyebrow. Usually it was him that asked for the spar, but he said nothing as he got himself into position waiting for her to do the same before he made his move.
Strike after strike, Felix didn't give her time to strike back. Every move stronger and faster than the last, but she saw that annoyed expressions crept onto his face with each one. She was hoping to reveal what was bothering him through training as Felix was more clear with his feelings in battle than in an everyday setting, but she still could not discern the root of his trouble other than that it was her.
"You're not focused," she pointed out, "whatever I did that is troubling your thoughts is making you easier to read. Despite how fast and strong your attacks are, if your opponent can read your moves, it means nothing.."
It seemed that caused him to fume more. His eyes burned with fury and he looked like he wanted to yell but was holding it back, which was quite unusual.
"That is dangerous in the battlefield. Whatever you are holding back, let it out," Byleth continued and that caused Felix to pause his relentless attack and let out a burst of laughter but anger still in his expression.
"That's rich coming from you!" Another side comment about her lack of facial expressions. Usually comments like that didn't hurt her feelings, she was used to them by now. At least that's what she thought. But when it came from him, it stung a little, but she figured staying quiet about it just proved his point.
"That hurts," she spoke out her feelings even though it came out in monotonous. She didn't think it was possible for him to look angrier than he already did but he was quick to prove her wrong. His grip on the training sword tightened and he lashed out at her. Her own training sword was up to block the flurry of attacks he swung at her.
"That hurts? You know what hurts? Someone you care deeply for and respect as a mentor disappearing for five damned years!" Her eyes widened slightly in surprise. "When they've been gone for so long at some point the search for finding them alive turns into finding a damned body! And just out of the blue they show up without a word of where they were for these damned five years!" His voice cracked. It seems time wasn't kind. While she recognized that 5 years passed, it didn't really seem to actually click until now. For them 5 years has passed but for her… it just seemed like she had a pleasant night's sleep.
"Felix…" she began but he cut her off with another wild swing.
"Don't. Don't look at me like that," he growled. He's said that before despite mocking her for her lack of expressions not to long ago. "I don't want your pity. I want an explanation. What were you doing these five years while the rest of us were fighting and needing you!"
She backed off from his attack, giving them space. She closed her eyes and thought about it. If she said she was asleep she was sure that would only keep him angry, but it was the truth. She wouldn't even know what kind of lie she could come up with if she did choose to lie in the first place.
"I don't know," was how Byleth finally responded deciding that the truth was the best approach. His eye twitched and before his fuse would blow she began to speak again, "it was like I was asleep for just a night. I fell down that cliff in the battle and passed out. When I woke up not too far from the Monastery and found by a merchant, he was confused by me talking about getting back to Garreg Mach to my students, saying that it had been five years." Speaking of it, emotions stirred within her, though she couldn't quite place what they were.
Felix was still tense but the rage in his gaze was melting away. It was the most she's spoken at one time in awhile. Perhaps he could see that she really was trying to explain to him what had happened. That she was worried for him. That she didn't want to lose him in battle because he was angry at her.
"Fine," he huffed and lowered his training sword. "I can't make much sense of it, but you're honest to a fault and you really don't know."
She didn't know what really compelled her to do it, but before she knew it, she dropped her own practice sword and closed their distance, wrapping her arms around him in a hug.
"What are you doing?" He was tense in her arms.
"I'm hugging you."
"Why?"
"I don't know."
"You're teasing me, aren't you?"
"Not in the least. I was told once this is how people make up and apologize after they fight."
"And who in the world told you that?"
"Sylvain."
Felix, still stiff, returned the hug which caused a very subtle smile to form on her lips. She could hear his heart hammering in his chest and she couldn't help but wonder why as her heart didn't quite beat like everyone else. Either way, she was happy with this development.
"I wonder why I've never hugged anyone before this. It feels nice," she breathed out not wanting to let go. She felt his chin rest on the top of her head. They were both stiff and very awkward, but Byleth enjoyed the moment while it lasted which wasn't long as Felix pulled away only seconds after his chin rested in her hair as if the feeling made him aware of their closeness.
"There, you're forgiven," he looked wouldn't look in her direction, but she could see his face was red. She'd only seen his face red with anger before so she wasn't quite sure why it was red now if not with anger.
"Felix," a pause, "if anything I have said or done… or I suppose in my case, lack of saying anything, has bothered you. Come to me. I'll speak my mind or cross swords with you to make it clear for you."
He nodded in silence and Byleth walked away. His gaze watching her retreating form, his heart still screaming at him for pulling away, his mind scolding him for returning that hug knowing he would want more. But he would lock it all away because they were at war and he was a weapon. Either of them disappearing with the sands of time always a possibility and it was easier to prevent grieving for someone if you've never had them.