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I.
It's the tail-end of a month long mission, and Steve is more than ready to go home. He and Bucky have slogged through more muck this last week than they did during the entire war, and if he didn't smell quite so badly, he’d probably just collapse as-is and shower when he woke up (assuming that the grime didn't glue him to the bed overnight).
Steve has spent enough time coaxing a grimy Tony into the shower to know better, though, so he keeps himself just awake enough to shuffle into the bathroom after Bucky comes out.
A few minutes later, he’s not only clean, he’s also wide awake. Bucky (the bastard) is fast asleep, but Steve can’t stop thinking about the genius waiting for them at home; assuming that Tony is still speaking to him, that is. For some reason, Tony was adamantly opposed to he and Bucky going on this mission, though he refused to say why. He went so far as to threaten to remotely hijack their jet to a tropical island and according to an exasperated Natasha, only her timely interference kept him from doing so.
(The resulting argument between he and Tony gets so heated that Bucky had to get between them, and Tony hasn’t spoken to either one of them since. Steve isn't sure what will be waiting for them when they get home.)
Steve flicks the TV on, hoping to bore his brain into exhaustion. He’s not paying much attention to it, until a familiar face comes onto the screen, along with a headline that makes the blonde’s blood freeze in his veins:
Tony Stark, Dead.
It can't be true. It can't be. Steve wants to reach over and shake Bucky awake, or punch something, or—
The details are scarce, the newscaster says, though Steve barely hears it over the roaring in his ears.
...airborne substance…alone...unable to seek help...no other Avengers...
Steve glances over at Bucky, then, but the other man is still and quiet; he always has slept like the dead.
(Just like Tony now, a voice whispers in his head.)
Steve screams.
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Steve came awake with a gasp, his breathing harsh and choppy in the otherwise quiet room.
To him, the sounds were abnormally loud, but the bodies on either side of him remained lax in sleep, and the blonde thanked his lucky stars that neither Tony nor Bucky was awake to see his distress.
Honestly, he’s not sure he could talk about his nightmares with either of them without making things worse.
Instead, the super soldier closed his eyes, curled in closer to the heat of Tony’s body, and tried to shut out the nightmare altogether.
(If Steve had known that taking the hit for Natasha meant he’d still be experiencing the effects of that drug-induced experience, he might not have jumped in front of her.)
The next three days were filled with never-ending nightmares about losing Tony or Bucky or Tony and Bucky and (though Steve might have neglected to mention it), they hadn't stopped even after the drug wore off.
That was nearly a month ago, and Steve knew better than to think that he was going to be able to hide his mostly sleepless nights from anyone for much longer.
He can’t stand the thought of losing either of his lovers; having to entertain the thought night after night is driving him out of his mind.
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II.
Steve can't help it—he stops in the middle of the battlefield as soon as he hears Bucky yell. He knows that it’s dangerous, but the action is instinctual; it’s practically etched onto his bones, the need to help his best friend.
Every cell in his body aches to go to Bucky, just like he’s always done, but Tony needs him, and if his body is telling him to go to Bucky, his brain is screaming at him to go after Tony right now.
Because the truth is that Bucky could probably use some backup, but Tony definitely needs him. Despite their genius’ uncanny luck sometimes, being stuck in a damaged building is tricky, and the situation can turn from stable to treacherous without warning. Even with the metal suit, Tony is a lot less durable than a super soldier.
Still, Steve can't help but look over towards where Bucky is fighting, and it’s easy to see that the other man is flagging.
Suddenly, Bucky whips around and (in the way that he’s always done when the blonde was about to do something stupid) glares at him. It’s impressive, even in the middle of a fight, and it’s the exact same look that Bucky gave him one night a couple of weeks ago while Tony was out of town.
If we're ever in a situation where you have to choose between the two of us, Stevie, you sure as hell better save Tony, you hear me?
I don't care what he says about already being old and having already cheated death and all that nonsense; I say he’s done more for the world than we ever will. It doesn’t matter that we look young; the only reason you and me are still around at all is ‘cause of the serum, otherwise, we’d either be dead or too old to stand on our own two feet.
So, if it comes down to me or him, you choose him, or I'll never forgive you.
Bucky turns back to his fight with a pained grunt as his opponent lands a cheap shot, and Steve can't help but twitch in his direction. After all, two super soldiers would be able to dig Tony out much faster than one.
On the other hand, there’s a reason the bad guys went for Iron Man first. If he can free Tony, this fight will be over a lot sooner.
Steve turns back towards the damaged building.
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Steve lurched into consciousness just as the building in his nightmare crumbled to dust before him. He knew it was over—that the afterimages burned into his retinas weren’t real—but it didn’t stop him from racing towards the bathroom to empty the meager contents of his stomach into the toilet.
(And if Steve spent the next few minutes afterwards shaking against the cold tile floor, JARVIS was kind enough not to mention it.)
It hardly mattered, though, because the last scene played on a loop in Steve’s mind: they’d managed to pull a battered Tony out of the wreckage just as the villain Bucky had been fighting tossed the super soldier into the weakened structure. It should have been fine. But in a horrible twist of fate, instead of crashing into the rubble, Bucky was impaled by an iron pipe that had been jarred loose in the initial damage. The super soldier bled out in minutes, and Steve could do nothing but hold Tony and watch it happen.
Steve eventually pulled himself up and off of the floor, splashed some cold water on his face, and stumbled back into the empty bed.
(He’d been glad earlier that both Bucky and Tony were out of the tower that evening; now, he knew he’d never be able to get back to sleep unless he could see that both of them were unharmed.)
“JARVIS, call Tony, please.”
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III.
Steve can’t remember how he got here, in this place, with a villain he doesn’t recognize. Tony is unconscious, Bucky is unresponsive, and Steve feels as weak as a newborn kitten. There is a part of him that desperately wants to pass out to avoid the disaster he knows is coming, but the throbbing in his brain and the rushing of the water refuse to grant him that mercy.
“Come now, Captain. Surely the choice isn't so difficult. After all, you’ve known Mr. Barnes for how long? Surely, your appreciation for Mr. Stark pales in comparison. Besides, your friend is already safely next to you, and Mr. Stark is quite unconscious. I promise you, he won't feel a thing.”
Steve glances at Bucky, but his longtime best friend is curled away from the blonde, and either can't or won't tell Steve what to do. The water keeps rising around them, though, and it's hard to concentrate when it’s so cold. Panic explodes in Steve’s chest. He has to make a choice, and soon. But which one? It will destroy him to lose Bucky, but letting this man murder Tony will kill something in his soul. This isn’t a decision he can make—
The zap seems abnormally loud in the silence as one of the lasers mounted in the corner of the room makes the choice for him. For a moment, the super soldier is breathlessly relieved that it's over—he wasn’t forced to condemn one of his lovers after all—but then Steve can do nothing but watch in stunned horror as blood starts soaking through Tony’s shirt and the color slowly drains from his once vibrant face.
Steve can't look away. He should, he knows; he should try to work out whatever's in his system, he should try to figure out what's wrong with Bucky, get them both out...he should—
But he can't stop watching Tony, even as the water rises past his lover’s hands, swallows his chest, caresses his cheek. It's almost beautiful.
Steve doesn't even notice the cold, really.
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IV.
Tony and Bucky both find out, of course; it was only a matter of time. It isn’t as if any of them have regular, restful sleep schedules, after all, and no one could sleep through the blonde bodily flinging himself on top of Tony in the middle of the night.
(The screaming was also pretty hard to ignore.)
Talking it out had been unpleasant for all of them, and had resulted in almost as many near-fights as heartfelt confessions. The nightmares hadn’t stopped yet (and Steve wasn’t sure they’d ever truly stop), but they were getting better, and this vacation was supposed to have been a reward for all of their hard work.
Steve wasn’t sure how Tony had managed to clear out an entire floor of an exclusive resort just for them, but the blonde had decided to just soak in the privilege for once. It was amazing...and then it wasn’t.
To be fair, there was nothing particularly menacing happening: no gas or blood or lasers or water, but there was...shrinkage. As in, the room kept shrinking, bit by bit. Steve had no idea what had happened to the rest of the resort, but the areas outside their bedroom had vanished hours ago, along with most of the furniture in the bedroom, until there was nothing to focus on but each other.
“You know, knowing our lives, I always kind of figured I'd end up stuck in a tight spot at some point,” Tony drawled, as he leaned back into Steve, who was backed against the remaining loveseat, “but I’ll admit, I’m kind of enjoying this scenario. I never realized super soldiers were so bendy.”
Steve didn’t bother to look up from where his face was pressed against Tony’s hair, but he could hear the smirk in Bucky’s words, and feel Tony’s answering shiver. “Feel free to press as close as you want, doll; I've got nowhere else to be.”
“If you inch a little my way, and shift to the left, Barnes, maybe I’ll let you do the pressing.”
“Well, that’s a challenge if I ever heard one, wouldn’t you say, Stevie?” he asked, hooking his foot loosely around Steve’s and forcing the blonde to shift his hold on Tony slightly lower.
This time, Tony wasn’t the only one to shiver.
Still, “Shouldn’t we worry about getting out of here?”
“You mean to tell me that you, me, and Tony, all pressed together in a dark room, isn't something you’re interested in? ‘Cause if you're not, you can go sit in the corner and watch while Tony and I have some fun.”
“I don't think there is a corner anymore.”
“That's too bad. I guess you're just going to have to join the fun, then,” Bucky said, and pushed.
The three of them crashed in a tumble of limbs onto the loveseat, and naturally, had to spend the next few hours making sure everyone’s parts were all in working order.
(Spoiler: they were.)