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Jaune would normally, when asked, say he prefers mornings and sunrises. They're so much more brighter, although softer in the same sense-- there's beautiful, with the way the colors swell into brightness and the brilliance of the light of day makes him feel like he's born again. Those are moments that remind him he does, really, appreciate who he is, who he's become, and who he's becoming. They make him happy that he did come to Beacon.
With that note, though, he's here stretched out on cool cement with ten thousand stars dotting the sky, like small sparks of joy the world has and are being felt right now.
That's a nice thought-- he thinks, stars for happiness.
Of many of his favorite things, this moment typically doesn't have those sort of dream components that would make it a number one. It's nice, but he prefers the brilliance of the day, it's cool but he prefers the soft warm buzz of Spring, and the person next to him isn't typically someone he'd call in his circle of friends-- but Cardin's a friend, nonetheless. So it's nice enough.
Strange to think though that your dream of the moment when you fall in love might be on a beach at sunrise or sunset, someone of another gender, but it's not... coming together that way. Instead, he's under the stars, thousands of them overhead as he lays on his back of the school roof, and it's probably one of the most peaceful moments of his life. It's so quiet and pleasant, only a hum of background noise, and he wants to say something because he feels like he should-- but the silence is so comfortable, it's like a fleeting moment, one he wants to stretch on for a little bit longer.
Maybe Jaune's thinking a little too much right now, and it's a little late and a little dark, but the soft highlights of Cardin's face make him look gentle. Like he was made for this moment exactly, to be set under the stars for this specific passing second when Jaune wonders what he's thinking about, wonders if Cardin is thinking about him, too (he is). He's never stopped to realize it before, but Cardin's eyes are closed with his hands folded over his chest and he looks like he could fall asleep-- and well, he looks... attractive enough in the light.
It's gotta just be the lighting though, right?
There's a glow of light from the school that illuminates them with the stars above, a sort of soft haze surrounding it as Jaune slowly notes the curve and slope of Cardin's nose, and god, why is he thinking so intently about a nose? Why is he thinking a nose is cute? What the hell-- and surely there no need to elaborate on the curves of Cardin's lips or the angels and curves of his cheeks, or how his brows aren't setting so heavy right now so his eyes are a lot easier to see...
Jaune snaps his head away, presses his cheek against the cool concrete because a warmer color than usual burning his skin and he's not sure what to do about this thumping in his ears. That burn seeps to his finger tips and he kind of just wants to leave all of a sudden, but his body is anchored to the spot because it's like he's stuck in an old cinema with old brown-gold clips re-running in his mind. There's the notion that, in general, Cardin isn't the as that he use to be-- well, backtrack. He's an asshole, still, but he's not a bully. There's the thing that he's gotten nicer with Jaune, and he doesn't flinch when the other shifts his shoulders and they both enjoy their sparing. It's a challenge, but it's like a challenge to grow together, rather than to prove oneself now.
It's... nice.
At some point he didn't stop keeping track of it, but nice became desired, and these days and evenings and mornings-- whatever times of day-- on the roof with just the two of them were moments he tucked safely into a pocket in his rib cage. There's been a slow leading up til the moment he found himself laying flat on his back, and how ironic is it that the moment of realization pours down onto him when he is on his back. Jaune's on his back laying next to Cardin with their shoulders just about two inches apart and he can hear the steady breathing and he can see, if he looks closely, the rise and fall of Cardin's chest.
It was such a slow fall, he didn't realize.
He didn't realize and now his hearts drumming in his chest and he feels himself becoming embarrassed because of the fact that he's just now seeing, but also because he hadn't noticed how natural it felt to have such small moments with Cardin. Several months ago, ages ago, he'd scoff and probably be offended by the thought, but now it seems like something that's perfectly right. It fits into his life like it belongs, like Cardin belongs. It's a strange thought, a strange fact even, but he let's it settle in his mind and it cements there with all it's heavy weight.
A stone drops to his stomach he realizes that weight they'll carry (well, a weight Cardin will carry, but Jaune is the one who forgave). He wonders if the other leader regrets it, or still thinks about it, and a gut feeling tells him that it's something that lingers in the back of Cardin's mind. Jaune would say he didn't want Cardin to carry it, but if he's honest, he does-- a part of him still wants the other to always know what he did, to never forget it. It will probably stay that, way, too-- for a long time.
Brewing over your feelings on a cool summer night with hundreds of stars overhead isn't exactly recommended though, at least for Jaune's perspective, so he slowly sits up and he sighs before speaking.
"We should head to bed..."
"... Yeah."
Cardin responds, but he doesn't do much of anything; he just keeps laying there with deep hues of blue watching the little burning lights doting the sky overhead. Jaune watches him, just simply watches him in silence... there doesn't seem to be anything weird about it, not even when Cardin finally meets his gaze and raises his brows at him, as if expecting something.
"I-- I'll.. head out, then. Night, Cardin."
"Mm. Night, Arc."
Jaune doesn't move right away, he just sits there with a moment, staring at the fuzzy, dark horizon line, and there's that silence that settles between like it's nothing. It's not rare they have quiet evenings-- they usually talk and talk and talk, but these nights aren't unwelcome; they're pleasant little pieces of memories Jaune'll keep with him 'til his ending days. When he moves and dusts off his uniform pants and turns to leave, he spares a look over his shoulder, and Cardin's still laying on his back staring up at the sky. Jaune doesn't say anything though, because Cardin looks rather soaked into the moment as if he's been drawn into the stars like something pulled into the sea, so he takes his leave quietly and peacefully.
On his way back to his dorm, though, the image doesn't leave his mind (Cardin looked like he belonged in that moment; like he was made to be looked at under a sea of stars and brilliant blues and blacks, and the thought sunk to the bottom of his core and anchored itself there for the rest of the night).
The next three days are as follows, and their nights seem to grow warmer with conversation and Cardin's becoming almost more... lively, with the way his arms stretch up above him and his hands swirl and wrists snaps when he talks. Jaune does exactly the same thing, though, and the distance that was between their shoulders three nights ago is nearing none. It's two more nights later when Jaune lays next to Cardin who's already been there for half an hour, that their shoulders and arms rest next to each other. Jaune almost isn't sure what to do, he feels like he's been frozen but his body feels warm and-- was this a bad thing to do? Should he move? Cardin's body doesn't move away, though, and the fingers usually threaded over his stomach grow lax until his elbows are against stone and their arms are touching more than before. Jaune's heart, in turn, stills in his chest and his breath is sucked from him-- but he forces a maintained composure.
It seems the air's a little uneasy until Cardin breaks it, a slight catch in his words at first 'til he seems to force that usual hardness of tone and he asks about studying and classes. Jaune eases into the conversation, and as their voices fill the air above them, they start to relax and their arms settled against each other, elbows sometimes bumping when they speak with their hands swaying above them. There is the one unfortunate incident when Jaun's going on about something involving Nora and Weiss and this one time with a leek and Weiss's history book and his arms are literally being flung all over the place until his palm smacks Cardin square on the nose--
Jaune's suddenly frantic, scrambling onto his side and maybe bumping his chin on the concrete below them and he's half sitting up when he notices the muffled laughter from behind the hand the other leader has over his nose. The blond pauses, brows furrowed until the laughter sputters into... snorts. Cardin's snorting and laughing at him, laughing at him while his nose is bright red and he's holding out his other hand, open palmed, as if to get Jaune to calm down. The leader of Juniper doesn't really get why he's laughing, but the noises die down slowly and Jaune's still staring at him like-- some sort of confused puppy. God, it's cute; it's stupid and cute and ridiculous and Cardin's feeling that warmth glowing inside again (things Jaune doesn't know, and who knows if he ever will).
"It's fine, it's fine--" Cardin finally reassure him, slowly laying back and this time putting his arms under the back of his head. Jaune just.. sort of pouts, confused and something else that he doesn't know, and he sits up all the way, knees pulled up to his chest and arms resting on top of them, index fingers locking together.
"Hey," Cardin's voice is quieter than usual, but it doesn't sound like something to be worried about, just.. pleasant and soft (like he doesn't want his voice to be stolen by the breeze or to be anywhere else but between them). "Do you know much about constellations?"
Jaune doesn't answer at first because his eyes have been staring at the horizon line again, lost in thought and aimlessly not thinking about anything other than right now; it's an odd paradox and Jaune's really starting to dislike how much this surreal-ness has become so normal. He stops and considers the Cardinal's question, craning his head to look up at the glowing little dots of pearl and gold and blue in the sky. He doesn't, really, but he notices that when he's staring at the sky like this, it feels like he's looking at a new set of millions of stars. "No." he finally answers, "No, I don't."
"Me neither."
And just like that, they settle into the pleasant silence that comes before they part ways so that dawn can't catch them. Jaune stays a moment longer, head still craned up to look over the twinkling dots, and he wonders if he looks hard enough he can see the constellations-- but, Jaune doesn't even know what he's looking forward, so before his neck start to ache he bows his head, forehead resting on his knees. He closes his eyes, musing for a moment about how these nights have become regular-- how during the afternoon he's hear sparing with Pyrrha, then in the nights he's staring at the sky with Cardin.
"We should do this in the morning some time."
Jaune's statement startles himself just a bit, because it was a thought he hadn't known he said allowed 'til his voice boomed around his ears from the fact that he's surrounded by his own body. His jaw tightens quickly, a red unknown to the other boy painted over his skin-- his heart picking up a bit because he really, really hadn't meant to say that. "... Yeah, maybe." He almost chokes on his sharp intake of breath, Cardin answering him passively as he lowers his knees and folds them into a sitting position, torso now raised and leaning back on his hands.
They don't talk for the rest of the night, but the assumption that Jaune means this coming morning is mutual, and they say good night in quiet voices and part ways.
When morning comes, Jaune's skin is prickling and he feels like his nerves are jumping as he sinks out of bed, the rest of the team Juniper ambling around to get dressed and clean. Their leader groggily moves among the others, 'Good mornings' exchange with morning rituals and hair ruffles and other things, and Jaune's getting ready quicker than usual-- which prompts a question from his partner, whom he answers truthfully (because he can't hide anything from Phrrya, even if he wanted to). She gives a hum in response, and he didn't expect much else but there's a soft smile on his lips and her heads tilt to the side, little gold chains and emerald jewels tinkling with her movement. It reminds him just how beautiful Phrrya is, not just in appearance, but the fact that her presence has a general warmth he doesn't feel with any other companion, and he gives her his best morning smile and they laugh a little. Jaune aimlessly muses that he couldn't wish for a better best friend, or partner.
The halls are rather empty when he makes his way to the roof that's become like a second little safe haven of special moments he's shared with friends who are dear to him. He hums a little tune to himself, stepping out into it and not exactly expecting Cardin to be there already-- but he is. When the Juniper leader raises his head, the other is staring at him, and he looks like he just rolled out of bed, rough jeans and black shirt all that he's dressed in, and Jaune wants to ask about his uniform, but they're right above the CRDL team's room to begin with, so he just settles for a 'Good morning.'
Cardin returns it, probably out of politeness, and his voice still sounds rough from sleep and his hair isn't exactly as neatly pulled together as usual. Jaune would be lying if he said he minded though, when quite honestly-- Cardin looks.. good like that.
The blond leader joins the other, now standing side by side, their hands almost brushing and the fact of that is glaring and blaring and it's like there's electricity surging through that notion alone. Their eyes don't meet, though, instead settling on the hues of gold, purple, and orange that have muddled the sky as stretches of daffodil colors start to reach over the clouds. It's beautiful, one of the most beautiful sunrises he's seen in a long time, and Jaune's head tilts a little to the side as the colors fade and glow, like they're rippling across water, and there's pink starting to blossom now with hues of teal and blue come. It's beautiful, so beautiful, and Jaune feels like he's swelling with the same sorts of colors when he's standing here in silence, the warmth of another-- Cardin's warmth-- filling the air next to him.
Jaune's so fixated on watching the colors, though, that he doesn't notice that Cardin's gaze has slowly turned, deep poles of blue watching as the colors seem to set the shorter of the two leaders aglow. The smile on his face is bright, as bright a the sunbeams coming from the horizon now and Cardin's chest feels heavy and full and those golden tendrils have fully taken his heart now. They're twisted deep into the red organ and they're thumping in unison with his veins and everything in his core feels like it has a touch of gold now. His breathing catches a little because that burning that he thought he could deal with is growing with the sun as it rises.
A part of Cardin wants to say that this was a mistake, to look at Jaune and be with him during the sunrise because Jaune's made for these images, for these moments. Jaune still doesn't see the deep, endless look of love that's taken hold of his companion, strong sharp features softened around their curves and a little fuzzy as the Cardinal watches the sun shine on his face. It's a decision Cardin's starting to regret because his rib cage is squeezing his lungs and he's considering his options, considering what he should do, what's right to do.
He'd told himself to just be satisfied with what he has, since he doesn't even really deserve it, but it's hard-- it's hard, especially when Jaune's smiling as soft as he is and there's muffled sounds of people ambling around the school below and birds filling the air with song, the sky reflecting in his eyes all the while. It's probably an action Cardin's going to regret, at least a little, but he breaks the silence almost cautiously.
"Hey-- Jaune."
It's a little weird at first to hear just his name, plain and simple, from Cardin because it's only ever been 'Jauney boy' or 'Arc', and for some reasons it makes him feel like he's a little light-headed. "Yeah?" is all he answers with, not taking his eyes off the sunrise as it's peeking over the tree tops now, but Cardin doesn't respond or say whatever's on his mind. Truthfully, he's gathering himself, taking a deep breath and Jaune hears it, though still not looking-- but part of him wishes he had.
There's pressure against his lips that he's not familiar with, a warmth and breath and it's so soft and gentle, like clouds gracing his mouth and Jaune inhales sharply, eyes blown wide. The contact's gone almost instantly, so soft that Jaune barely registers that Cardin had turned and bent forward, head at an angel to kiss him. It strikes him like a train head on-- Cardin kissed him.
Cardin kissed him.
Cardin kissed him.
Jaune's heart is drumming at probably a hundred miles an hour, and he jerks his head to look at the auburn-haired boy open-mouthed and wanting to say something, anything, but his voice croaks and dies in his throat. Meanwhile Cardin's turned completely away, a hand over his mouth and the other rubbing the back of his neck and he's got a million things swimming in his head and about two-thirds of them are regret or ways he should of done that differently or he should of said something properly, because that was Jaune's first kiss and he's red from nose to toe.
Cardin isn't hearing anything and Jaune's not doing anything other than stare at him like a deer in headlights and he's so sick with regret he wants to fling himself in front of an Ursa without armor on. He still can't look Jaune in the eyes properly and he's trying to pull together words, but he's stumbling and god fucking shit damn it-- Cardin Winchester shoudn't trip over his words like that (god, what's happened to him lately? does love always turn you into such a sap?), and he's angry with himself for his poor execution and he's made at his heart and his head and his entire being and he's furious and panicked and he's muttering out an 'I'm sorry--' but as soon as he raises his head finally, Jaune's grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and yanks him into a kiss-- maybe not a proper one, but it's harder and has purpose, but it's clumsy and Jaune's doesn't really know what he's doing because his cheeks are a bright red and his head is spinning and his eyes are screw so shut he might be able to see white behind the black.
Cardin's breathless, stunned into nothing because he didn't expect this (actually, he didn't know what he was expecting), and his hearts thumping against his chest so hard and he feels like he might either turn to stone or explode on the spot. He slowly loosens, and he presses back for a fraction of a second when Jaune slips down (he'd been on his toes for a good few minutes, and he' a little breathless by now), head bowed forehead and Cardin can see how red his ears are and it makes him want to kiss Jaune more.
They're still as stone for several long, aching moments and Cardin's tense and Jaune might melt and seep through the ground at any given moment, so they stay quiet. They're slowly gathering themselves it seems, slowly putting space between them, Cardin's hand scratching the base of his neck while Jaune rubs his forearm. They don't say anything, and it's probably best that way, because what would they say? Cardin's deep into a self-crafted pit of I shouldn't feel this way and Jaune's stuck in a tree of Why do I feel this way, so they stay silent.
Cardin breaks it, cautiously, about ten minutes later with a soft tone and he says he ought to go get ready, and Jaune mumbles a yeah, and they stay there for a minute, Jaune chewing on his lip. He's about to turn and leave when he feels a fleeting warmth against his cheek, but when he's turned, the Cardinal leader's mid-drop into the dorm window, and he doesn't have a chance to say or do anything.
When Jaune leaves the roof, face still red and rubbing his cheek, his thumb occasionally passes over his lips too and he's putting little pieces together, until a little burn sparks in his heart and a smile is pushing its way onto his face.