Work Text:
You don't want to be the reason they break up— because if you never came back (and there always was that chance)— a break up might not even be on the radar.
But it is apparently and you were trying so hard to pretend that everything was normal and that you didn’t screw with a partnership that turned into a friendship that you wanted to turn into so much more.
You were trying for Amy, because for once, she had that boyfriend she always dreamed of. That boyfriend you knew she would one day get because she deserves it and she’s smart and pretty… all the qualities a man wants in a woman. The qualities you fell for.
(It was a lot more and you’re still falling, but you quiet those thoughts, because you’re still coming to terms with the fact that you have them.)
And everything seemed fine, up until ten minutes ago, when Teddy arrived with cranberry pilsners and good intentions to cheer up his girlfriend.
She wants to break up with him.
That’s why she was upset. Your jaw drops and you can’t even manage to hide your surprise because this is perfect Teddy.
She shrugs, giving you a sad smile.
Even if it has nothing to do with you (and you’re still not sure), this situation couldn’t be more awkward because Amy won’t let Teddy in.
Instead, she is pacing around the hotel room, biting her fingernails and giving you these looks that could either mean 'help me' or 'look what you did.'
Technically, this is your fault, but you really thought you were doing the right thing by calling Teddy. He’s her boyfriend, he would know what to do, you thought.
She sat next you, pouting, the entire car ride and you wanted to make her smile. But that’s the funny thing— maybe Teddy didn’t know what to do. Maybe he never knew what to do. Maybe that’s why she wants to break up with him.
Because all it took was one joke from you and she was rolling her eyes, covering her smirk with her hand. (“Shut up, Jake.”)
She loves Teddy though. She said it herself. Or she told Rosa who told Gina who told you. And the guy is outside the door with turkey sandwiches because it’s Thanksgiving and he's festive and thoughtful and considerate.
(You could be those things.)
Finally, she sighs. "I don't know what to do. It's not the same." She won’t meet your eyes anymore. She sits on the bed and drops her hands to either side of her legs.
"What's not the same?" You ask, because you definitely need her to shed some light on this situation.
"Everything.” She replies, her voice breaking. "When I look at him, I don't want to be with him. I know he's amazing, but it doesn't matter. I don't want him."
'Then what do you want..." You don’t realize you said the words out loud until she lifts her eyes from the floor and locks eyes with yours.
Her face softens. 'I'm trying to figure that out..."
You nod your head like you completely understand even though you don’t because does this mean it has to do with you after all? “You do what you gotta do, Amy.”
"Thanks.”
She reaches out and grabs your hand, giving it a light squeeze.
You swear your hand vibrates as you walk out of the room, careful to avoid Teddy's inquisitive gaze.
* * *
She breaks up with Teddy. You knew she wanted to, but you didn’t know if she would actually go through with it. Thinking and doing are two very different things, you’ve learned.
You find out when there's a knock on your door and instead of seeing a weary Amy like you predicted... there's Teddy. A confused, broken Teddy.
"Want a pilsner?" He asks.
You say yes, because he looks like he might be dying or something and no matter what feelings you may have had towards Teddy in the past (jealousy)…. you know that he’s a good guy.
You step aside and motion towards the small dining table near the window, “Lets have a brew!"
* * *
A half hour later, Teddy's kind of drunk and you're kind of stressed. All he talked about was how tough it’s going to be for him to get over Amy and how he wishes he could have done something to make them work.
No amount of beer can relieve the knot you feel in your shoulders because you can’t even imagine Amy not being apart of your life.
You’d probably die. Amy Santiago is exactly the girl you could never get over.
* * *
Teddy passes out on top of the queen bed (he was in no condition to drive) and you exit the room quietly. You don't know if you should go see Amy or give her some time to herself... The latter option seems like your best bet so you go outside. You could use some air.
You take a seat on the worn, wooden bench outside the back of the hotel and take a sip from what's left of your... fifth pilsner. Teddy's too kind for his own good. He didn't deserve this, but you guess Amy didn’t either.
Breakups suck.
“Hey” you hear, as the leaves rustle beneath your feet. You know it’s Amy, but you turn around and allow your eyes to light up anyway.
Her face is light pink and her eyes are kind of swollen, but there’s warmth in them.
Without invitation (not that she needs one), she sits down next to you on the bench, her thigh touching yours. You're about to ask her how she is when she answers, "I'm okay."
It makes you wonder when you started being able to guess what the other was thinking and you realize that it’s been like this for a long time. You didn’t just fall for some girl— you fell for a friend.
You throw your left arm around her shoulder and pull her into your chest.
You want to do more, but it's too soon. You respect Teddy.
More importantly, you get that Amy Santiago is a tough woman to lose. You pull her closer and feel her lips graze your neck.
You hope you never have to lose her.