Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Honey I’m home” Ashlyn calls out with a smirk on her face as she enters their Florida home. After not hearing a response from Ali, she goes to the kitchen to retrieve a water bottle. “Babe?” Still nothing she starts her way to the bedroom. Upon getting closer she hears the interview they did for BuzzFeed. She opens the door to find Ali on the bed with her back to the headboard. “Hey babe.” She approaches Ali and gives her a kiss.

“Hey, honey. How was lunch with Chris?” The day before he had called Ashlyn to have lunch, saying how he hadn’t seen much of her since getting back from the World Cup.

Sitting at the edge of the bed happy to be home, she responds. “It was great catching up with him. Especially since we both have been pretty busy with our lives and have not been able to catch up in a while in person ya know?” Though Chris hadn’t had the same type of success that his sister has had, she always tries to make time around both of their busy schedules. Ashlyn of course with soccer, and Chris with his Job running a rehab facility and now a fiancé. “Now, how many times have you watched this since I’ve been out to eat?”

With a roll of her eyes she says, “Only 3, ass.” Ever since leaving the BuzzFeed Q&A, Ali had been bringing up the interview with good and bad criticism. “I wonder what people are saying about it. Like should we have been more open, maybe more loving to each other? Maybe the questions should have been harder. I mean any one of the ‘Krashlyn’ Fandom could have answered these easily. Our parents names… come on!!”

Moving to sit beside Ali at the head of the bed Ashlyn snakes her arm around Ali’s waist. “Al don’t you think you are overdoing it just a bit? Yeah, they were easy, but the fans liked it and you know the Fandom has probably watched it on repeat since its been posted” Ash new that maybe Ali would have watched it a couple of times after but, she never thought that it would get to her like this. “I mean I loved it especially since it was like a trip down memory lane.” She knew she would have to get Ali away from the video. Especially if they were going to do more relationship-esque interviews. “Remember how I found out you won't eat meat off the bone? BBQ blunder at its finest…”

“Aww babe.” She leans over to Ash and places a kiss to her cheek. “I still loved it. Just being with you anywhere could be a perfect, and on top of that our families were there.”

Chapter Text

After both Ashlyn and Ali had signed with the Washington Spirit, for the inaugural Season of the NWSL, they found themselves together in Ashlyn’s home state for a little R&R at her grandmothers’ home. When Ashlyn first proposed this idea, she was nervous that Ali would just want to head to D.C. to get things going for the club. Coming off injury she was itching to get back to it, and Ashlyn knew this.

“Hey Al, can I talk to you about something?” Ali could tell she was nervous about something. So, though she was in the middle of packing up her Frankfurt apartment with the help of Ashlyn she knew whatever the keeper needed to ask her would need her undivided attention.

“Of course babe, you can ask me anything. Come, let go to the kitchen.”

They walk towards the kitchen with Ali starting to coffee for them both. When it starts brewing, she hops up on the counter pulling Ash between her legs. As if it was rehearsed Ashlyn puts her arms around Ali’s waist.

“What’s up buttercup?” Knowing a little bit of humor would lighten the mood for her keeper. She knew it worked when a dimple was shown for her effort.

 “I just wanted to ask…. Well you know how we are going back to the states soon… It’s just I know both of our families are in different places and stuff..” her mumbling was cut off with a kiss. A kiss that calmed her down and ammped her up at the same time.

“Ash just ask love.”

“DoyouwanttogowithmetoFloridatoseemyfamily?”

“I thought I was supposed be the mumbles of this relationship.” She says with a smile. “Just ask my love.”

Clearing her throat she asks again. “Do you want to go to Florida with me to see my family? We have a little bit of a break before needing to be in D.C. I just thought maybe we can go get a little sun before we go back to a freezing winter.”

“Awww is my Summer baby not liking the snow? Of course babe I’ll go with you. I mean you literally moved to another country just to be closer to me. Plus, I love seeing Gram, I am definitely not a hugger but between you two I don’t mind at all.”

“Really?!?!”

“Really love. I don’t know why you would be worried to ask me such a thing. We are going to be next to my family for at least the whole season. And I know how you can get homesick sometimes. I would be honored to be with you and your people.” That was received well in her eyes, especially with the smashing of lips to her own.

In Floida…

“Gram are you sure it is fine to have the BBQ here today?”

“Of course sweet pea, I love being near my family and your friends. Makes these old bones feel young again” She says with a smile.

“OK thanks Grams, you’re the best!!” with that she jets off to the store with Chris in tow. Always being the dynamic duo they are.

“That girl never slows down, I tell ya.”

Ali just laughs. “Don’t I know it. I just hope they get everything from the store that we will need. She went to the store one time in Germany to get me some ingredients for soup. She came back with canned vegetables, chicken breast, and some ice cream that I liked. I was freezing. Never mind I was sick, but it was in the middle of winter. She gets back and I’m looking at what she got, and I can’t find any broth that was clearly on the list along with fresh veggies.” Grams starts cracking up at that. “She told me that she didn’t know what that was, and she wasn’t really good a speaking German. She said we could just use water.” By the end of the story they both have tears in their eyes.

“That’s my granddaughter for you.” Wiping the tears from her eyes.

Later that afternoon when Chris and Ashlyn were already back. Chris starting the grill while Ashlyn seasoned the meat. Placing the meat in a tin pan and covering with plastic wrap. Knowing it would be a while until the grill was ready, she walks outside where Grams, Ali, Whitney, Toni, and her grandfather were. Always the early ones to make sure they were ready if any help was needed.

“It cool, me and Chris will do everything, no need to get any of your hands dirty.” She says while plopping down next to Ali in a double chair.

“Such a baby, how do you put up with her Kriegs?” Whitney asks.

“One day at a time.” She says giggling trying to get away from Ash’s tickling fingers.

“So, who else is coming to this shin-dig?” Toni asks

“A few teammates from the US will be here. Like Tobin, Kelley, Alex, Syd, and Pinoe. Oh, Debbers and Kyle should be here shortly.” As soon as she finished the statement the doorbell rang out. Knowing who was at the door Ali jumped up to great her mother and brother

“AAHHHH I’m so happy you guys could make it.”

“Well Mr. Primadonna here took forever to get ready or we would have been earlier to help set up.” Deb says with a disapproving look toward her eldest.

“K let us not dwell on the past. Anyway, where’s that stud of yours?”

As if on cue Ashlyn walks up to the pair. “Right here bro” She gave Kyle a hug, wo had pushed past his mother and sister to get to the blonde. “How ya been?”

Knowing what she is asking about Kyle replies. “I’ve been doing great, really. I have support from my family, friends, and well… support group.” Kyle had been an addict for years but his sister getting hurt was a blessing in disguise. As soon as he knew his sister would need him, he decided right then and there he would get clean.

“Well I’m real proud of you bro. is you ever need anything, or even just to talk I’m always here for you.” She ends it with a hug. While Kyle goes to the backyard to see everyone else, she moves towards Deb to greet her. “Hey Deb Deb, how have you been?”

“Oh, I’m great now that I’m with both of my babies under one roof.” She says letting go of Ash and pinching Ali’s cheek. “How have you two been hmm? Happy to be back in the land of the free?” she asks while walking toward the back of the house with both women in tow.

“I’m SOOOO happy to be back in warmth!! Ali’s heated floors weren’t doing it for me.” She earns a poke in the side for that.

“You’re just a big baby. But we’ve been good mom, definitely excited to be back stateside. Especially since we get to play in D.C.” before walking out onto the deck, she casually glances around the kitchen and sees the seasoned meat cover with plastic wrap. Her face falls a bit before she schools her features, though it was caught by no one, other than her girlfriend.

“Hey babe you OK? Got gas?” Ashlyn asks trying and failing to get out of the way of a smack she knew she had coming.

“No ass!!” giggling.

“Oh boy what did my granddaughter do now?”

“She has gas Gra-…” before she could complete her sentence, she sees the defender reaching for her and decides its best to take off running. She got off to a sprint but quickly slowed down because of the sand and well… keepers don’t run. Before she knows it, she is tackled to the sand. “Babe I love you sooo much!” she says trying to stave off Ali’s hands.

“A little to late for the love Harris!” getting to a position on top of the blonde she starts a full out assault tickling the keeper until she is out of breath. Feeling like she’s won, she rolls off to a sitting position next to her blonde. “And I hope you learned your lesson.”

Sitting up, “I’ll take any lesson that involves you on top.” She states with a suggestive wiggle of her eyebrows.

“Whatever Casanova, help me up.”

Standing up, “Say please…”

With a roll of her eyes, “please help me out of the sand before it gets somewhere I don’t want it.”

Helping the brunette to her feet to start walking back towards their friends and family. The group had grown since their impromptu run on the beach. “I’m not the one who went all flying squirrel back there, was I?”

“Someone say flying squirrel?”

Bracing herself for what was to come, Ashlyn plants her feet as best she can in the sand. Soon there was a flying Kelley O’hara coming at her, running full force and leaping into the air. For the second time she finds herself back on the sand.

“Jesus Kell, I know we’re in off season but I would like to use my body for other things too.”

Ungracefully getting off the keeper, “I’ll apologize if we can hit the waves..” with that said both her and the blonde keeper turn to Ali who had been laughing at the scene, mainly because it wasn’t her that was assaulted this time. Giving her their best puppy dog eyes they could.

“I guess, at least I can start to get my tan back now.” With that Ash and Kelley high five and run off to get changed.

“Where are those two off to?” Tobin asked.

“To get their stuff to go surf. Feel free to join Tobes I know how much you love a good session as much as those dorks.” Hiking her thumb to where they two ran off towards.

“As much as I would love to, I got to be careful with my ankle.”

“Well you can always lay out with me.”

“How about some beach footy?” Tobin asked.

“And how is that supposed to be good for your foot?” Ali asked

“We can call it therapy. Plus, the sand is pretty soft.” Tobin says with her bright smile.

Rolling her eyes with a smirk, “Let’s do it.”

With everyone changed to their beach gear, they head down to the sand. Ashlyn and Kelley had been in the water already for quite a while. All that was out there was some baby waves not worth surfing so they decided to float a little before heading in. Kelley with all her energy decided to join in on the game, while Ash helped her brother with the BBQ.

Ali, Toni, Tobin, Alex, Kelley, Pinoe, Ashlyn’s cousin Corey, HAO, and Whitney, started a game of 3v3 with subs. Sydney deciding to lay out and watch for potential suitors. Since Kelley had all the energy, and the teams were uneven, she decided to switch from one side to the other during play. Which ended up in confusion and a happy, laughing, and winning Kelley.

A call from the deck got everyone’s attention. “OK MY ATHLETES. GRUBS UP!!” Gram called out.

Everyone started to grab food and chat, while picking out what the wanted. Ashlyn and Chris’ parents had joined the festivities, along with some of the cousins to their kids. On the spread for the BBQ was Chicken legs and thighs, pork ribs, potato salad, corn on the cob, and of course Grams famous Mac N Cheese. Ash told Ali that she would make both of their plates so she could grab them seats and a drink.

Walking up to Ali with both plates in hand, she sets them down and starts to eat. Halfway through a rib with BBQ sauce over her mouth, she looks at Ali and sees she had only eaten the potato salad, and mac n cheese. Waiting a little while longer to see if her brunette beauty would eat the meat; she decides to make sure she is OK.

“Hey beautiful, you become a vegetarian on me?” she asked with a nudge of her elbow and a chuckle. She asks a little more seriously as she sees Ali start to look a little nervous. “You OK?”

Ali not wanting to bring attention to what the issue was, she excuses herself from the table saying she needed to use the restroom. Ash is immediately behind her.

Getting to Ali before she reached the bathroom she asks again, “Babe are you OK? Was it something you ate or drank?” Different things start running through her mind trying to figure out what is wrong. She couldn’t think of anything since they ate the same thing all day together.

“Ash I’m fine, I just need to use the restroom, I promise.”

“Babe come on talk to me. I knew something was off when we were coming out back from answering the door for your mom and Kyle. Sweetheart just talk to me, please.

“You’re going to think it’s stupid, or I’m crazy, or just weird.”

“Babe you are the smartest person I know. There is no way I could ever think your stupid. Maybe crazy because you gave me a shot knowing you are well out of my league.” Now caressing Ali’s arm up and down, placing a kiss on her forehead.

“What about weird?”

“You love cold weather, and prefer to play in cold weather. I already think you’re weird.” She jokes hoping to get Ali to smile and lighten the mood a bit. Her work pays off as she is rewarded with a smile and Ali meeting her eyes. “Just tell me babe.”

“I don’t like the meat.” Ali says, casting her eyes back down suddenly feeling small.

“What do you mean love, you love a good pulled pork sandwich. I cooked us grilled chicken breast before we flew out here, trying not to waste the food in your refrigerator.”

“Yeah, I love those things but…” letting out a puff of air, she decides its best just to get it out now “I can’t eat meat off the bone. I find it weird and scary. Like what if I chip a tooth by accidentally biting the bone. Or like I swallow a piece of bone and choke to death. Or oh my gosh. What if I pull to hard with my teeth, and instead of getting meat in my mouth, my teeth are stuck to the bone…” Hearing uncontrollable laughter. Ali stops her list of what could go wrong and hits Ash on the shoulder.

“See this is why I didn’t want to tell you. You probably think I’m a nut job and are one call from sending me to the loony bin.” Ash on the verge of tears she starts to stalk off.

“Aww babe I’m not laughing at you.” Pulling Ali back to her squeezing her tight. “I just don’t know why you didn’t tell me before I went to the store. I would have bought chicken breast or something that you would eat. And really babe, your teeth would be stuck to the bone. You got some dentures I don’t know about?” poking fun at her girlfriend.

Realizing how this all could have been solved with just talking to her keeper she begins to laugh.

After a good laugh and cuddle Ali speaks. “I guess your right. Sorry for overreacting.”

“It’s no problem babe, just talk to me next time. Now let go make you the Harris Sandwich Special.” She follows Ali to the kitchen whispering to herself, “Things you learn about your girlfriend”

Present

Now having moved to the bedroom to the kitchen. Ashlyn begins to make her famous Harris Sandwich Special.

Letting Logan out Ali turns around and says, “How are you still hungry you just got back from lunch.”

“Do you want a sandwich or not babe?” Ashlyn says getting all the ingredients out. Seeing Ali nod, she continues making lunch. Well her second and Ali’s first.

“We should have another BBQ or get together; I miss just hanging out like that.” Ali says getting drinks for them both.

“Babe we are having a get together this off season, it’s called a wedding.” Ashlyn sasses

Rolling her eyes Ali responds, “I don’t mean like that butthead. I mean more of a chill kickback. Now that we are older, we barely get to be around our family and friends. Aside from camp we really don’t get to see our teammates now that we have so much exposure. We live next to Alex and we only really see her for games and practice. She’s usually flying somewhere for an interview or a photo shoot.”

“Yeah, I see what you’re saying. It would be nice to invite everyone over just to hangout. Not like a mandatory team event either.” Being the captains of the pride, they have had many gatherings at their home. “Maybe the beginning of the year. Either right before or right after national team camp.”

“I think you’re on to something stud.” Ali says with a kiss to her keeper.

Finishing up their sandwiches she put them on the plate. Before putting the plates on the table to eat, she goes to the sink cupboards and pulls out Lysol wipes. She begins to wipe down the already clean table so they can eat. She throws the wipe away and places two coasters down so Ali can put the drinks on them. Then goes back to the counter to grab the plates.

Ali already used to her fiancé’s routine, waits until the coasters are placed before setting down the drinks and sitting down herself.

“Babe you remember when we moved in together in D.C. for the first time?” Ali says

Ashlyn finally sitting down answers her. “Oh, you mean when you found out I was allergic to dirt. Yes, I remember. I thought that would be one of those time when you were going to run for the hills.” Ashlyn says placing napkin in her lap.

Ali following suit. “Not going to lie I never pegged you for being so clean and neat. I love it don’t get me wrong, but I didn’t think you would be like that.” Stared to dig into her sandwich.

“I wasn’t always that way..”

Chapter Text

Growing up in Satellite Beach could be boring if that how you wanted it to be. If you didn’t surf, skate or hang out with those who did, there wasn’t much to do. Lucky for Ashlyn her dad and brother did both. Wherever Chris, her brother, went she wasn’t far behind. She was smaller than the rest of the group her brother hung out with, but that didn’t stop Ashlyn from keeping up. She was one of the boys.

Her mother was not very happy about it. Her mother, Tammye, was so excited to have a little girl after giving birth to her brother who is a year older than Ashlyn. Thinking she would have a little girl to have tea parties, dress up, and do all around feminine things with. What she didn’t expect was to have a little tom boy who could get just as if not dirtier than her brother.

“Ashlyn Michelle Harris!” her mother called to her as she would try and get her into a dress for church. “you have to put this on so we can be on time.”

“Whyyy” 7 year old Ashlyn whined, “Chris gets to wear what he wants, why cant I?”

“Because he is where what he should as a boy. You are a little girl, and little girls wear dresses.”

“I don’t want to wear a dress, I want to wear pants and a nice shirt like Chris and daddy.”

“Tammye just let her wear what she wants, I’m pretty sure Chris has some clothes that would fit..” Ashlyn started to light up hearing her father chose her side. Though she knew it wasn’t going to go her way as soon as she saw the look her mother shot her dad.

With one stare Tammye was able to cut off her husbands’ words. He quickly decided it wasn’t worth the fight. Giving his daughter a “Sorry” look, he continued to the front door where Chris stood waiting to leave. Ashlyn knew it was a fight she would lose but had to try anyway. Even at the young age she knew it would be easier to appease her mother’s wishes at times.

After getting home from church she quickly got rid of the dress and as replaced with comfortable clothes. She knew she had to be quick or Chris would be gone before she had finished. Chris, like most brothers, didn’t love the fact that their little sister would follow him around. Though when he would be playing with his friends, he would try to include his little sister as much as he could. God forbid anyone said anything to him about her, he would quickly put them in their place.

Playing down the street with other neighborhood kids, engaged in a game of tag, the little shit who was it saw Ashlyn as an easy target. He definitely made a mistake. While she was making a move to get to base, he tried to get her but was too late. That didn’t stop him from shoving her hard in the back after she was safely on base. Too bad for him Chris saw him intentionally do it and immediately went into “Big brother mode”.

Seeing his sister on the ground, he made a B-line for the kid who would soon regret his actions. Grabbing the little boy by the shirt then shoving him down onto dirt then hovered over him. “Hey why don’t you try and do that to me!??!”. To say the boy who was his age but smaller was terrified would have been an understatement. That didn’t stop him from speaking his mind. Big mistake!

“If she can’t take it, maybe she shouldn’t be out here with us playing!” The boy screamed back.

That was enough for Chris to punch him, busting his lip making him bleed. He started to cry while quickly scrambling to his feet, taking off in the direction of his home no doubt to tell his parents.

Later that night during dinner. The siblings would smile at each other across from the dinner table. With their mother shaking her head. Chris would be grounded for a few days, which his little sister would happily spend with him.

Looking up as their mother started to speak seeing the look between the siblings. “Why must you go and play with those boys? They are rough and you are a little girl. Maybe today will make you realize that it isn’t a place for you to be.”

Ashlyn looked down into her plate at being yelled at.

That was just one of many accidents Ashlyn would have playing around with her bother and his friends. Throughout their childhood, and many scrapes and bruises later, Ashlyn would never back down from a challenge or step down from something that was challenging. This of course caused her mother many times to yell at her and her brother for coming back dirty from sand, dirt, mud, among other stains and gross things kids would get into.

Throughout her adolescence her mother would try to get Ashlyn into girly things. She would have play dates with mothers of other little girls hoping that Ashlyn would learn how to behave. She would keep her from following her brother to these outings. Tammye thought one girl could actually get through to her. They would cook and bake during the playdates almost as if Ashlyn had admired her. Oh how wrong she was. During one of those playdates, the little girl named shelly took Ashlyn to kick a soccer ball around outside. Tammye didn’t see the problem since this little girl also was into girly things, thinking it could have a positive influence on Ashlyn. Ashlyn fell in love and ended up playing soccer during recess and P.E. being a natural talent. She ended up being scouted to play on a rec team through a scholarship. Tammye thought she just couldn’t win.

During her childhood her parents got into things that would not allow them to look after their kids. Drinking, drugs, spending grocery money on anything but groceries so they could get high with their acquaintances.

One Saturday played in Ashlyn’s mind frequently until one day, far in the future, she realized it wasn’t her fault. Tammye came home from work already under the influence. She had a bad day at work and decided to leave early and start her night early. It was 2 in the afternoon and nothing seemed to take the edge off her bad day off. Anything could have pushed her mother over the edge. Unfortunate for Ashlyn, she was that anything.

Running in from outside, needing to use the bathroom, she tracks some dirt along with her. Tammye was less than amused and decided the dirt needed to be fixed. Ashlyn needed to be fixed.

Coming out of the bathroom, Ashlyn ran straight into her mother who was standing right outside the door. She saw a look in her mother’s eyes that shook her to her core.

Grabbing her daughter roughly, “It’s time to get cleaned up.” She maneuvered Ashlyn and herself into the bathroom heading straight for the tub.

“But I was done playing outsi….” The rest of her sentence was cut off with a resounding slap that seemed to vibrate off every surface in the small space. Tears began to run down her face making the red angry mark even more pronounced.

Not fazed by her daughter’s cries, she continues to turn on the water and fill up the tub while maintaining a death grip on her daughters wrist. Steam starting to fill the room she begins to undress Ashlyn so she can be clean.

“Why can’t you just be a normal daughter!??!!” she began screaming. “I’ve giving you every chance to be the little princess I’ve wanted. But no, you decide that you want to run after your brother and be this… this… dirty little girl who looks like trash!!!” Grabbing her daughter by both of her biceps, she begins to shake her. “What have I done to deserve this hmm..? I speaking to you, answer me!!”

Ashlyn couldn’t think straight. All she knew was her mother, the few people in this world she thought she cold be safe with has shattered that façade with one hard slap across the face. So she did the only thing she could think of and that was to apologize over and over hoping it would calm her mother down. Hopefully releasing her and not be forced into the hot bath.

“I’m sorry mommy… I’m sorry… I won’t do it again… I’m sorry mommy please don’t…”

Another slap could be heard, Ashlyn was pretty sure all the way to Grams house.

Lifting Ashlyn to put her in the tub she says. “You will be.”

Those 3 words shattered any hope she would be getting out of this.

Ashlyn was thrust into the water she would classify as scalding. Skin being met with the heated water immediately turning red. No matter how many times she said sorry, or her cries would get louder, nothing was stopping her mother.

Her mother began to scrub Ashlyn’s skin with soap and a cloth. Her skin getting angrier and angrier by the second. Soon Ashlyn just stopped fighting and silently cried as her mother manipulated her body to make sure every in of her body was clean.

Her mother continually kept murmuring things under her breath. Ashlyn had checked out to the point that she didn’t even notice the tears tearing down her mother’s face. When she noticed her heart sunk. Though her mother was hurting her, she just couldn’t fathom driving her mother to tears.

Though she was crying herself she reached up and try to wipe the tears from her mother’s eyes. Just the gentle touch from her daughter had brought Tammye back to reality. She stops what she is doing and stands up. She catches a glimpse of herself in the bathroom mirror. What had she done? This was her baby girl. She may not have been exactly what she wanted but she was hers to nurture and keep safe from all evils around her. In this moment she is the evil she swore on the day Ashlyn was born to keep her safe from. She left the bathroom without saying a word and locked herself into her room.

After her mother had escaped from the bathroom, Ashlyn wasn’t sure on what to do. She sat there and replayed what just happened. Something that she would never want to happen again.

--

Not long after that her grandparents stepped in to take care of Chris and herself. They supported both kids in every way possible. Monetarily, but most important emotionally. Since that Saturday Ashlyn tried to be what her mother wanted. The perfect daughter she knew her mother wanted. The daughter she could be proud of. The daughter that didn’t disappoint her to the point that it drove both of her parents to drugs. The daughter that had disappointed enough that they were no longer fit to be parents.

Her grandparents saw a change that they were not necessarily fond of. Their once energetic, happy, carefree bash was no longer there.

Ashlyn would sometime wake up in the middle of the night crying, and Gram was right there to comfort her.

“Bash, hunny its going to be OK. Everything is OK” her grandmother would coo to her, trying to calm her granddaughter down.

“Why couldn’t I be what she wanted? Why was I such a bad girl? I just want my mommy back.” Ashlyn would cry, being woken up from nightmares that plagued her.

It took years for gram to convince her she was enough and what happened was caused by her parents’ problems. She was not at fault for what happened to her. Though some scars can not be hidden.