Chapter Text
"Dude, are you sure we need all of this? It's just a camping trip." The speedy blue hedgehog huffed. He was sprawled across a medium sized suitcase, laying like one of your french girls. He was messing with a stray zipper that seemed very interesting for some reason.
"Look, I just want to be prepared-" Grunted the red echidna. "Sorry that I seem to be the only one worried about the two of you." This gained a sigh from the hedgehog. On top of Knuckles' worried behavior, he had been trying to zip up this suitcase for about 13 and a half minutes. He had asked Sonic to lay on top of it, mostly because he was kinda chunky, so he could use the weight to his advantage, but also because Shadow was off cooking a hefty meal before they took off. And no one interrupted him while cooking. He could and would whack you with a greasy spatula, but would hold off until after the meal was completed. Fur would mess up the taste, as the black hedgehog would say.
Finally, after 28 more long, excruciating minutes, Knuckles finally zipped up their bag. It wasn't even full of clothes -- none of them WORE clothes. At least, not unless it was for a formal event, or Shadow's pants that he has for some reason(both Sonic and Knuckles find it hot, so neither complain). Nothing for the outdoors.
"I hope you realize we're only going to be out there for a couple of days, Knucklehead." Sonic sat up and hopped off the bag and table, then placed a hand on his hip.
"Well, yeah, but… You can never know what'll happen. Gotta think about that."
"Huh. I never thought YOU of all people would be thinking. Especially when it comes to being prepared. You usually just run in first!" The blue blur chuckled before patting Knuckles' chest and walking past him into the kitchen. The buff echidna was too flustered to reply.
"Yo Sha-" Sonic started, before being halted by a black hedgehog clad in a bright pink apron with the words "BITCH BITCH BITCH" plastered all over the front. He was waving a wooden spoon littered with chili in front of the blue blur's muzzle, and his face was seething with rage. Sonic ignored said rage and licked the spoon before lowering it with his index finger.
"Hm. Not spicy enough. Try again."
Shadow groaned. Sonic smirked.
"How many times do I have to tell you--"
"Don't interrupt you while cooking, yeah, yeah. I won't bother you for long, sadly. Just wanted to check in. I see the chili's going well. Disregarding the spice, anyway." Shadow sighed before returning to the stove, mixing his delicious concoction.
"It's almost ready. Be sure to inform Knuckles. Maybe this time he won't be late to the table. And for the record, hedgehog, this chili is in fact spicy enough! You're just too hot headed to notice!" Sonic just chuckled. It was always cute when Shadow got pissed about someone knocking his cooking skills. He was so far beyond Hell's Kitchen and Gordon Ramsey… he was the ULTIMATE chef. No one could compare! At least, that's what Shadow thought.
"I'll just take that as a compliment. See you at the table?" Sonic winked. Shadow replied with a nod before quickly adding 'try not to eat so much this time, you'll get a tummy-ache'. But by then, the blue hedgehog was gone.
After many attempts of prying Knuckles away from looking for more stuff to shove in their unnecessarily over packed bag, Sonic finally got the buff echidna to the table. Shadow was glaring daggers into his red boyfriend, who was trying to hug the black hedgehog as an apology. This chef was having none of it. As soon as the poor echidna got in his vicinity -- he was going in for a smooch -- Shadow growled and bopped Knuckles right on his nose with his signature spoon made out of wood.
"OW, MY RHINARIUM!!" He shouted, rubbing his hurting, throbbing, schnoz. The fool jingled miserably back to his seat after his boyfriend bared his fangs in a threatening manner, but nearly forgot about his pain when their lunch had arrived.
"Can I get four?" Sonic asked, just now recovering from laughter after what had happened with his two men.
"No you may not. Eat two, and if you finish those and you're still hungry? Then you can have more. Knuckles and I have to eat too, you know." The black hedgehog passed out two to each, much to the blue blur's dismay. Sonic thought it was strange how Shadow gave himself two, as he rarely ate. Guess he just wanted to be just as prepared for the wilderness as Knuckles was. Despite how much he had been out, Shadow had never really enjoyed the outdoors before. At least, he had never camped before. Sonic and Knuckles vowed to show him just how pretty and serene it could be. Shadow expected this trip to be anything BUT serene, as Sonic and Knux were going. They were way too chaotic. But he digressed, it was a chance to experience something he never had before, along with his two closest and precious men.
Fitting the black hedgehog's perception on Sonic's behavior, Sonic ignored the onslaught of warnings against eating too much and scarfed down his dogs anyway. He then proceeded to plead for more. Shadow sighed before relinquishing two more of his wieners. Sonic was very happy.
Knuckles bit into one of his before looking at Sonic, saying,
"Y'know, if you eat too many, you might choke."
Shadow gave Knuckles a blank expression. "He already has. Twice." Sonic grabbed his throat as he fell out of his chair. He was gasping for air, an arm extended up in the air dramatically.
Shadow watched as Knuckles looked around nervously before tackling his blue boyfriend and wrapping his buff arms around the hedgehog's pudgy middle. With a firm squeeze, Sonic could breathe again. The echidna stood up, holding the poor Hedgehog in his arms. Knux looked down at him with a worried expression, waiting for Sonic to say something. Anything.
"I… liked when your muscular arms were wrapped around me…"
The even redder echidna dropped Sonic to the floor, absolutely flustered.
"I actually wished you choked." This only got a smirk from the blue blur.
"I thought I already did~?"
Shadow then watched as Knuckles sat back down at his seat, pinching the bridge of his muzzle. He was on the verge of screaming.
"Alright, alright, that's enough, you two. Eat your lunch so we can leave." He grumbled, a slight smile spreading across his face cheeks. He shook his head. Despite how much of a dumbass each of his boyfriends were, he loved them all the same. Shadow just hoped he could survive the next few nights with these bumbling idiots he loved so much.