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Part 7 of Jyrus oneshots
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2019-08-28
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2019-08-28
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1/?
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Fake Babies, Real Gays

Summary:

Not only have best friends TJ and Jonah been paired to parent, but so have Cyrus and Reed, which TJ and Jonah have their reasons to be less than happy about.

Notes:

Hey! Please tell me what you think about this! I’m sorry my updates haven’t been as consistent. This one got a bit long.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Well, the system is officially rigged. And by system, Jonah and TJ mean the random order at which their screwed up health teacher picks their class' fake baby assignment partners.

And by rigged, they mean effortless.

It's not that they're complaining about being paired with each other. They are best friends, after all. 

No, the bigger issue at hand, is that they weren't paired with their precious crushes.

For more than obvious reasons, Jonah's been crushing on Cyrus Goodman for a good few years now, whereas, for whatever reason, TJ's been hung up Reed McAllister, a stuck up rich kid that Jonah personally can't stand. In fact, he has no idea why TJ's so obsessed with him when Gus Hathaway has been giving him obvious heart eyes for over half a semester now. 

Jonah swears he refuses to take him into consideration just because he's ginger. 

Because the best friends like who they do, naturally they weren't very happy after finding out Cyrus and Reed were assigned to take care of a fake baby together. 

"Poor Cyrus." Jonah comments, walking out of class with TJ by his side and their fake baby under his shoulder. 

By now, TJ's scowls have gotten pretty easy to ignore.

"Hey."

"Yeah yeah, whatever." Jonah rolls his eyes. "Why do you like him again?" He's never been able to understand. "And don't say because he's 'cool' or 'cute' or 'dreamy'." He lowers his voice for mock effect. "I want a real answer."

"Jonah, not every crush has to be this deep whimsical  thing like you have with Cyrus. Some crushes can just be mindless, ya know." 

"Well why can't mine be mindless?" Jonah finds this unfair. "Why do I have to be falling for Cyrus more and more every day?" They finish their walk to TJ's locker.

"Don't ask me, I don't know what you see in him."

"Shut up. Take that back!" Jonah's more than offended.

"Clearly we have different taste in boys." TJ states, taking the baby from Jonah and opening his locker.

"What are you doing?" Jonah frowns, watching him place it inside.

"This is where the baby's gonna stay till we go home." TJ thought it was obvious.

"No." Jonah's cringes. "It's not." He swipes it out.

"Jonah it's not a real baby." 

"Still, we can't get caught doing stuff like that. I'm taking it to class." He decides.

"Aw, really?"  TJ's just whining because he's going to be there with him. "Well don't bring me into it if it does something wrong."

"Why not? You're the other Dad." Jonah snaps.

"Not in AL I'm not."

"Dick."

"Pussy."

They have a profoundly honest friendship. 

"Guys?" Cyrus figures now is a good time to get their attention. 

Turning around, Jonah's in such astonishment that he ends up dropping the doll. 

"H-hey Cyrus...!" He glances back and forth between him and the baby, doing his best to act like it isn't there. 

"So what's up?" 

"Don't you think you should pick up your baby?" 

Jonah blinks. "Haha..." He does just that, trying not to shake and tremble like he usually does when he's around him.

"S-speaking of which, where's your...Baby?"

"Reed has it."

TJ lights up at the sound of his name, Jonah naturally fuming in response. 

"Really?" Jonah's surprised.

"Yeah! He's actually really responsible." 

"I know, right?" TJ grins, Cyrus and Jonah both giving him weird looks. 

"So, you like being with him...?" Jonah tortures himself by asking.

"Sure!"

As the baby begins to cry, Jonah figures he might as well join in. 

"Uh, I'll take that." TJ announces, meaning his word and leaving the two alone.

"Uh, TJ's also a very—responsible Dad." Jonah claims. 

Cyrus chuckles. "Wanna walk to class?"

"Really?" Jonah's stunned.

"You have AL next too, right?" 

Jonah's mind has become intensely hazed. 

"Yeah..."

 

After rocking the doll back and forth a few times while pacing around in circles and dodging glances from other students, TJ actually got the doll to quiet down, and is currently pretty proud of himself.

"Huh. I'm actually pretty good at this!" He smiles, taking abrupt notice of Gus standing by and taking care of a doll of his own. 

"Gus?"

The ginger's a sucker for his attention. "Oh! Hi TJ!"

"You take health?" TJ wasn't aware.

"Oh, no. But Reed threatened to take my lunch money again if I didn't watch after his doll for him." Maybe he can finally get through to him about how much of an asshole Reed is.

"My Reed?" 

TJ's particularly blind when it comes to Reed's dickish actions.

"Yes." Gus grows uptight. "Your Reed."

"That's weird, he's nice to me."

The only reason that is is because Reed's been painfully aware of TJ's fascination with him from the start, knowing that all he had to do was pretend to appreciate his fondness. 

Since then, TJ's been under the impression that Reed thinks he's special, when all Reed's really doing is using him for his own gain.

Gus, Jonah, and sometimes even Reed himself, wishes TJ could see that. 

"Well just because he's 'nice' to you doesn't mean he’s a good person." Gus' assertiveness shocks TJ to his core. Perhaps he's broken through to him. Gus hates to be this way, but he knows it's what he had to do to make things right.

He can see it right there on TJ's face that he's carefully thinking everything through. 

"Gus, not in front of the baby." 

The redhead grimaces. "I'm gonna go..."

TJ idly watches him exit, scoffing to himself once he's officially gone. "What does he know. Freakin'...Ginger redhead freckle face albino. Glasses wearing!"

The more he focuses on his appearance, the longer he can be in denial about him being right.

 

In the middle of the class' American Literature lecture, Reed comes barging in with his and Cyrus' baby that he made Gus temporarily take care of.

"Reed, you're late." The teacher instructs.

"With a good reason. I had to pick up Rex." He holds up the doll, everyone else but TJ cringing at its name. 

"From where?" Cyrus frowns.

"Gus." Reed sits down in the empty spot next to Jonah and TJ, who are having opposite responses to his presence. 

"Here." He hands him off to Cyrus who sits to Jonah's right. 

"Is there a problem?" He spots Jonah rolling his eyes. 

"Yes." The teacher speaks up. "There is. These pointless interruptions. All eyes up here." 

Forcing over their attention, the teacher is sure to resume her lesson.

Shortly after this, TJ's staring at Reed who, as well as Jonah, is staring at Cyrus, and until the sound of the bell, they've each glanced and gazed at one another more than they would have cared to. 

When reaching the hallway, Reed offends TJ and Jonah quite seriously when he makes the bold move of placing his hand on Cyrus' shoulder.

"So I'll see you tomorrow?" He asks him.

"Oh, are you busy tonight?" Cyrus was expecting they'd watch after Rex together.

"Yeah, I think you should keep an eye on him for me."

"But what if something happens?"

"Cyrus, nothing has happened. Alright? It'll be fine." Reed pulls out his juul and takes a quick hit, exhaling the vapor in Rex's direction.

"I wouldn't do that." Cyrus waves the vapor away.

"Cyrus." Reed scoffs. "C'mon. You're taking this way too seriously." Patting his same shoulder, he flashes a charming smirk he's hoping will distract Cyrus from the mistreatment.  

On his way out, he's more than satisfied knowing their eyes are on him.

Looking at Jonah and TJ, Cyrus can see they're both trying their best not to snap. 

"I'm gonna go." He takes off in the opposite direction.

"What the-"

"Fuck?!" TJ finishes Jonah's question. 

"The disrespect!" Jonah exclaims. "Now do you see how sleazy Reed is?" 

"Oh I'm sure he doesn't actually like him." TJ excuses.

"Exactly. He's fake, is what I'm saying." 

"Well Cyrus better not like him!" TJ blatantly ignores him.

"Relax. Cyrus has common sense." Jonah says.

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"You know what it means. Same old. God I can't wait until this phase passes." Jonah starts walking away. 

"What phase...?!" TJ absentmindedly follows along.

 

Turns out this doll is more technologically advanced than they thought. 

It took a bit for Jonah to figure out that if it starts excessively cooing and babbling, it's in need of attention, which means that for the past five minutes he's been pacing around his room and rocking it back forth. 

"TJ my arms are getting tired." He looks at his bed where the other boy sits checking his phone.

"Well that's 'cause you're weak." He doesn't care to look at him.

"Well you're stronger! Take it."

"In a sec." 

"Enough of that!" Jonah swipes away his phone and shoves the baby in his arms. 

"Don't-!"

"Oh my God!" Jonah made the mistake of seeing what TJ was looking at. 

"Jonah give it back or I'm not helping!” TJ drops the baby onto the bed where it proceeds to resume its gibberish. 

"You're looking at ginger porn?!" Jonah's appalled by the intensely graphic images. 

"Shut up!" TJ protests. "It's not your business!"

"Yeah, make sure it's never my business." Jonah recoils and gives the phone back. 

"It's your turn to cradle the baby so it stops making those ridiculous noises."

"It's not that bad. Would you rather it be crying?" TJ speaks too soon, Jonah exhaling to the sound of its wails and glaring his way.

"You're fixing it."

Heavily sighing, TJ picks the baby up and excessively bounces it around.

"So, gingers?” Jonah tries sparking conversation.

"Do you want me to start crying too?" TJ frazzles, Jonah suddenly understanding the need to stay silent.

 

It came as a shock to them that they were gradually able to get the hang of things, but now that they have, they see no reason why they can't embrace the fun of it.

"No Jonah, for the last time we're not naming it after Cyrus." TJ jokes around with him in the middle of their video game, the doll propped up next to him with a controller in its lap for the sake of inclusion. 

"Well we're not naming it after Reed either." Jonah says once they've finished cracking up. 

"What kind of name is Reed, anyway." TJ asks.

"Oh, so he's not so perfect now, is he?" Jonah teases.

"I have never called Reed perfect." 

"Bull! Shit!" Jonah fails to stifle his laughter, the two of them guffawing so hard that their game is unintentionally brought to an end.

"Jesus Christ." TJ giggles, sitting up with him and struggling to not smile. "Maybe when I first saw him."

Jonah scoffs. "I'm sorry I can be such a dick about it." This leaves TJ bewildered.

"Nah, man, I need someone to put me in my place. You've always been that person for me." 

Jonah's more than happy to be. 

"It's just some dumb crush on some dumb kid." TJ faces the reality of it.

"I wish I could say the same for me." Noticing their onscreen defeat, Jonah exits out of the game and lies back after dropping his controller.

Joining his side, TJ listens to him sigh.

"What am I gonna do...It's been almost three years." Jonah states. 

"I gotta do something. Or maybe I'm not supposed to do anything..."

"I think," sitting up, TJ gets Jonah to face him. "That eventually, in the near future, you tell him how you feel. And if it doesn't go the way you want, I'll have your back. Always." He clarifies his support. 

"And if it does go how you want, then I'll still have your back."

They exchange loving smiles. 

"Thanks man." Jonah beams.

"Would you still be my friend if I started dating Reed?" TJ knows it's a stretch.

Jonah snickers. "We're in it for life, aren't we?" 

"Hell yeah." Giving him a hard high five, TJ looks over to their no name doll that's remained silently seated.

"We're pretty good parents, aren't we?" 

"Yeah." Jonah chuckles, just before the doll starts crying.

"Your turn." TJ smirks, receiving a playful shove and loudly laughing along as Jonah removes the doll's controller. 

"We still need a name." He cradles no name softly. 

"JJ." TJ proposes. 

"Is JJ the new Renesmee?" Jonah jokes, knowing the name is nothing more than a mix of theirs combined. 

"Either that, or it stands for Justice Jay like Jensen Ackles' kid."

"That. We're doing that." It's an offer Jonah can't refuse.

Despite them having blatant disagreements about Reed, the both of them have been fawning over the actor for years now. 

No matter how many differences the two may share, it's the little things they have in common and their everlasting care for each other that will always make their friendship sturdier than most.

 

TJ and Jonah may have gotten lucky with JJ, but Cyrus has had quite the opposite experience when it comes to Rex, which might as well now only belong to him since Reed very clearly wants nothing to do with it. 

"I can't stand him!" He rants to Gus at school next morning before class. 

"He really took off for that long?" Gus cringes. 

"Yes! All because of his stupid dirt bike tournament. In Canada!" Cyrus yells. "Rex kept me up half the night crying his eyes out."

"But-"

"You know what I mean."

"So where's Rex now?" 

"In the glove compartment of my Mom's car." Cyrus says casually, unable to ignore Gus' massive gawk.

"I know. I didn't think it'd fit either."

"Hey guys!" TJ happily approaches with Jonah by his side and JJ in his hold, Gus trying not to roll his eyes at him while Cyrus lights up at Jonah's presence.

"Hey." The sight of him has turned around his morning.

"Hey." Jonah grins. "Morning." He says to Gus.

"Morning!"

TJ's personally offended that he isn’t the center of Gus’ attention. 

"Does Reed have Rex?" Jonah assumes.

"No, Reed's getting ready to leave for his dirt bike tournament extravaganza." Cyrus displays his distaste. 

"Seriously?" Jonah frowns.

"He's so athletic." TJ praises, Gus officially having enough of his bullshit.

"Yeah, he's gonna be out of town for two weeks." Cyrus shares. 

"What the hell? Well, I can help you with your doll." Jonah offers.

"Really?"

"Then who's gonna help me with JJ?" TJ isn't ready to face this alone.

"I will." Gus rolls his eyes. 

"Yeah? Thanks man." TJ appreciates it. 

"Yeah, I'll see you later." Gus takes his agitation elsewhere, Cyrus and Jonah staring at TJ's mindless gaze.

"What's up his ass?"

Jonah rolls his eyes. "What's up his ass is you always being up Reed's ass and never caring about how he's up yours."

"Can you repeat that?" 

"Gus is sick of you ogling over Reed when there's nothing worth ogling over." Cyrus clarifies.

"What? That last part was a little mean, don't ya think?"

"He ditched me! TJ he sucks." Cyrus says it how it is. "Meanwhile Gus is mad and still agreed to help you. That's how much he likes you! Can't you spot the difference?" 

"He can, he just chooses not to." Jonah deadpans.

"No, you guys are right. I should give Gus credit." TJ agrees. "Take JJ for me?" Handing him off to Jonah, he leaves him alone with Cyrus to go apologize. 

"Cute name." Snickering, Cyrus smirks when Jonah's face flushes. 

"Haha. It-it's a joke." Jonah doesn't need Cyrus thinking that he and TJ are like that. The only guy Jonah wants to be like that with his Cyrus, which he's made moderately clear for the last two years now. 

"So where's Rex?" Jonah asks as Cyrus finishes laughing.

"Um..." Cyrus puts his hands in his pockets. 

"In my Mom's glove compartment..."

Just when Jonah thought he couldn't fall any deeper. 

 

To TJ's surprise, Gus took his apology pretty well, and after school, the two of them have decided to take JJ to a family friendly environment, also known as the organic smoothie place at the mall. 

"So, uh. Thanks for like, putting up with me. I know I can be a bit much." TJ chuckles, sitting across from him at their table with JJ in his lap.

"No worries." Gus chuckles back. "There's uh, only so much I would change about you."

"Yeah, and what's that?" TJ's glad that Gus doesn't strictly admire him. It's actually kind of sweet how he respects him enough to be aware of his flaws.

Gus smiles. "You're very impulsive. About your feelings. Not that that's always bad." 

"You seem to really know me." TJ's surprised.

"Not particularly, but, I can get to know you. If you let me." 

TJ always assumed the kid was smart, but he never would've imagined him having such a way with words. Perhaps he should've paid more attention. He certainly now intends to.

"Oh, shit." His thoughts are interrupted by the sight of the one and only. "There he is." He points out Reed getting his smoothie at the far left end of the front counter. 

"Oh..." Gus scoffs, now weighed down by insecurity. 

"I'm gonna go say something." TJ proclaims.

"Yeah?" His tone dry, Gus tries to play it off with a smile. "What's that."

"What he needs to hear." TJ's determined to call him out, leaving Gus astounded. "Really? I thought you liked him." He attempts to tease.

"Not anymore." TJ stands up, walking up behind him and saying his name.

Holding his large styrofoam cup, Reed scoffs at his arrival. "Hey TJ. Stalking me again?" He smirks. 

"No. I just thought you left already for your dirt bike tournament. That's all." TJ crosses his arms.

"TJ, it's called a motor cross tournament." Reed slightly laughs. 

"Whatever. It's pretty rude of you to be ditching Cyrus. He's a good kid. Jonah can provide you a whole essay about it with bullet points and everything." TJ isn't wrong. "Have you and Cyrus even ever taken care of your doll together?"

Reed scoffs. "I'm not going to be seen caring for a child-real or fake-with another male."

Gus can no longer stay silent. "Oh are you kidding me?!"

Reed snickers at the sight of him. "You guys on a date right now or something?"

"So what if we were?!" 

Gus blushes at TJ's defensiveness. 

"Not you two. I meant Gus and the doll. No real live human would wanna date him anyway."

Before Gus can look anymore devastated, TJ takes Reed's smoothie from him, taking off the lid and pouring the whole thing over his head.

Whereas everyone else is in deep shock, Gus is utterly elated, unable to tell whether he's more here for Reed's humiliation or TJ's boldness. 

As complicated as TJ may be, Gus always knew he was in the right for liking him, and this just proves it.

"Fuck you, Kippen!" Reed exclaims. 

"Oh I'm sorry did I offend you in some way? Huh?" Reattaching the lid, TJ harshly hands him the empty cup.

"Ugh!" Reed wipes some of the drink out of his hair and down to the floor, storming out of the store while irritably muttering explicits under his breath.

"What?" TJ asks to the people staring him down, spreading out his arms before turning around and grinning Gus.

"Holy shit I can't believe I just did that!" He celebrates, waltzing his way to the table and excitedly laughing with him. 

"I know!" Gus beams. "Th—Thank you, for that. That was..."

"Unexpected?" TJ smirks.

"Yeah." Gus is still amazed.

"Well he most certainly deserved it." TJ's charming gaze leaves Gus thunderstruck.

"Hey!" An employee behind the counter ruins their moment. "You can either clean up your mess or get out!" 

"Yes sir..." TJ looks over and nods, offering to do just that after standing up.

At this point, Gus is endlessly astonished.

If only he knew how much TJ's hoping to impress him.

 

Jonah still can't believe it. Cyrus Goodman is inviting him into his house. He knew that he was going to considering how Cyrus invited him over, but, it's still obliterating him to know that it's actually happening. 

"Sh-should I take my shoes off?" He carefully steps inside, observably glancing around as he gets an uneasy feeling that no one else is here.

"Nah." Keeping Rex in his hold, Cyrus smirks and joins his side after shutting the door. "My parents are traveling so we don't have to follow their stupid house rules." 

"Oh..." Jonah wasn't expecting that. "What are they, again?" He faces him. 

"Entrepreneurs." 

"Got it. So, where should start?"

"Huh?"

"Huh? Oh." Jonah realizes his error. "I just meant like, with the doll..."

"Oh, well, it doesn't really seem to need us right now." Cyrus studies it.

"It has been awfully quiet. Are you sure there isn't something wrong...?" Jonah worries.

"It's probably just heating down from being in my Mom's glove compartment." Cyrus had retrieved it from the lone car in the driveway once they reached his home.

Freezing up, Jonah's heavily hit with a scary notion. "Why is it now just occurring to me that that probably wasn't the best idea?" When Cyrus first mentioned it, he was too busy admiring his zaniness. 

"Oh..." Cyrus comes to the realization as well. "Dammit! This is all my fault! Mostly Reed's, but mine to." He proclaims. 

"Well I don't want you to get in trouble since Reed's not around! I'll take the fall." Jonah offers. 

"That's so sweet." Cyrus' compliment has Jonah blushing like crazy. 

"Ahaha..."

Just when time seems to be slowing down the more they smile at each other, Rex's abrupt cries brutally snaps them out of their daze. 

"It's alive!" Cyrus yells, both boys grinning nervously and trying their best to process what was previously taking place.

"Now it just needs to stop crying." Cyrus eyes the doll. 

"How'd you get it to stop crying last time?" Once Jonah asks, Cyrus' only response is an awkward stare painted with painful guilt.

 

After Cyrus put Rex back in the glove compartment of his Mom's car, he and Jonah couldn't help but crack up about it pretty intensely.

"Am I bad person." Cyrus asks, seated next to him on the couch and smiling vigorously. 

"No." Jonah giggles. "Now if it were a real baby, then we would have a problem-" 

This resumes their laughter. 

"Oh my God." Cyrus has to calm himself down, Jonah watching his reaction in astonished appreciation. "Thanks for letting me be here." He says.

"Yeah, of course." Cyrus smiles. "You're like, the first real friend I've had in a long time."

Alright, so that hurt. Though it could've been worse. It's not like Cyrus resents Jonah's existence. In fact it's actually quite the opposite. Cyrus is more than glad that Jonah takes the time to willingly be around him. 

"Really?" Jonah's surprised. Cyrus has never been the most social person at school, but it's no question that he's more outgoing than he appears to be. When he does socialize, he couldn't be any nicer. 

"Yeah, uh." Cyrus is tellingly embarrassed. "I mean, I guess there's Gus, but he has friends from his neighborhood who were redistricted, so. He's always felt like more of an acquaintance. Same with you and TJ, for a long time. I guess I just never wanted to interfere with you guys." His smile is shy.

"Aw, Cyrus." Jonah feels terrible. "You could never interfere."

"Really?" Cyrus is shocked.

"Yeah! Trust me I've been wanting to hang out with you forever." Jonah laughs at his own infatuation. 

"Really? Why didn't you say anything?" Elated, Cyrus can't believe that this was ever the case. Someone pining for his friendship...It's a stunning concept. Especially when that someone isn't just anybody. 

Except it isn't just Cyrus' friendship that Jonah's been wanting.

"Um." He chuckles, needing to bring up the fact of the matter. Things are going to be settled right here, right now. Whether it means Cyrus becomes his boyfriend or they remain friends, Jonah has to get the weight off his shoulders. It's been eating him up for too. Long.

"I've uh..." Their direct eye contact makes him sweat profusely. "Always really wanted to be more...than just your friend..." He's surprised he can feel himself say it. 

More than half of him has already proceeded to melt. 

If Cyrus is anything, it's flattered. Of course he is. Someone likes him. The way Jonah sees it, he'd probably be this happy to know that anyone feels this way for him. 

He just doesn't want Cyrus to say he likes him back because he's so amazed by the concept in the first place. 

The way this works, Cyrus has to actually feel the same way for him. Jonah refuses to be some haste last minute decision. 

"Y—you're for real...?" Cyrus can't erase his smile. 

"Yeah..." Now Jonah's in a daze. If he knew Cyrus' response was going to be this adorable, he would've told him sooner. He is so adorable. 

Whether Cyrus has always liked him, is just starting to like him now, or never has and never will like him, Jonah's just so happy he finally knows. The next best thing would still be his friendship. 

"Me too..." Cyrus would love to say more, but right now he's just too stunned. The rest of the world might as well be fading. "A-and I'm not just saying that because you said you like me." His clarification is rushed. 

"I really do. Like you. Since sixth grade, I have." Chuckling, he can feel his face vastly flaring. 

"Really? That's when I started to like you!" Jonah beams, his abrupt energy prompting their series of giggles.

"So, um..." Jonah wants to sound casual about what he's hoping to propose. "If you maybe wanna just stay friends for a little bit-"

Cyrus cuts him off with a smooth kiss to his lips. 

Jonah's gonna take that as no, an answer that he's, for the record, a hundred and ten percent fine with.

"Sorry." Cyrus feels bad for interrupting him like that. "Uh, about what you were saying, do you-?"

Suddenly mortified, Cyrus fears that Jonah was hoping they'd agree to his suggestion. 

They could've maturely talked things over but his impatient energy caused him to move all too quickly. 

Not according to Jonah, who so naturally responds with a kiss of own; one so incredibly impassioned that Cyrus can't withhold the temptation to take him in his arms and lie himself back, returning the kiss deeply while Jonah wraps right around him. 

In defense of their raging hormones, this has been what they've both been dreaming about for quite a while.

 

Back at the mall, after TJ had the decency to clean up after himself, he and Gus got kicked out of the organic smoothie place thanks to JJ's sudden temper tantrum.

"JJ it's okay! Please stop crying!" TJ stressfully requests, steadily rocking the doll while standing next to Gus outside of Hot Topic. "Oh, I thought I was good at this!" He panics.

"It's okay! Let me take him." Gus offers, TJ handing him over and watching him perform the same tactic that’s already lowering JJ's cries. 

"Wow." He's amazed. "Look at you!"

"Ahaha." Gus chuckles. 

"Hey. You two. Outta here." They hear, noticing a fuming mall cop approaching them on his segway.

"What?" TJ scowls once he's stopped before them. "You wouldn't say that to a person with a real crying baby."

"Exactly. Yours ain't real. It's a disturbance to the other shoppers."

"A real baby would be just as much of a disturbance!" Gus protests. 

"Yeah! At least ours doesn't shit itself!" TJ adds. "This is pure discrimination!" 

"Yeah, and why's that? Because you guys're gay?"

"What?" TJ and Gus both exclaim, JJ immediately proceeding to cry harder.

Immediately being scowled down some more, the boys figure it's best they stay away. 

 

After confirming their feelings for one another in the most affectionate of ways, Jonah and Cyrus decided to get up and actually do something, like take a nice walk to the ice cream shop down the block. 

"I'm paying." Cyrus informs him gladly, taking his hand as they begin their way down the driveway. 

"No, y—you hear that?" Jonah brings them to a stop and listens with him carefully bringing them to the realization that it's Rex wailing from the glove compartment within the vehicle beside them.

"Oh..." Cyrus comes face to face with his irresponsibility. "It's fine." He excuses. "Let's just go."

"Wow." Jonah snickers, proudly sneering.

"What?!" Cyrus laughs. 

"Some Dad you are." Jonah teases. "Betcha you're gonna be one of those parents who accidentally kills their kid by leaving them in a hot car all day."

"You-!" Cyrus grins, guffawing along and grabbing back on to his hand after playfully shoving him.

"Kidding."

"Are you?" 

They immediately giggle.

"So, what's the verdict. We bringing Rex with us to get ice cream? That I'll be paying for?" Jonah smirks. 

"No, we're not bringing Rex, no, you're not paying, and from now on its name will not be Rex." Cyrus' answer leaves Jonah cackling. 

"Alright." Shrugging, Jonah pulls him along onto the sidewalk. "So what's the new name of this doll that you're putting through child abuse?"

Cyrus snickers. 

"I dunno. I tried to think about it while we were making out."

Jonah flashes a flirtatious smirk. "Yeah, and how'd that go for ya?"

"Not so good."

Releasing his hand, Jonah wraps his arm around him while yet again cracking up.

"C'mere." Stepping as close to him as possible, Cyrus brings them to a stop by bringing in Jonah for their next immensely long kiss. 

Just because he's being irresponsible when it comes to his school project, doesn't mean he isn't being responsible about his current main priority of a relationship.

 

Happening to be on their way to the same ice cream shop, TJ and Gus are just happy that they were able to calm down the baby.

"Can you believe that?" Being the one to hold on to it, Gus has begun to laugh it off. "The guy was so pissed, it was hilarious." 

TJ hopes their laughter won't throw the thing into another frenzy. "And the look on Reed's face when I soiled his artificial clothes." 

"Huh! Oh my God." Just thinking about it gets Gus excited. 

"I can't believe you did that, by the way. That was so cool."

Releasing an anxious scoff, TJ begins to walk slower.

"Actually," letting him catch up, Gus quickly thinks things over. "I can."

"What?" TJ's a sudden bundle of nerves.

"I can believe you did that." Gus smiles at him. "You've always been so fearless." 

Seeing TJ legitimately blush brings them both to a complete stop.

"You mean that...?" 

It's like this is the first kind thing anyone's said about him. 

Prior to this, Jonah's given him many pep talks and boosts of confidence like the great friend he is, but to hear such similar motivation come from Gus...

It makes him feel almost limitless.

"Thank you..." 

Gus tries to scoff away TJ's shock. 

"So hey, uh, after this whole assignment thing is over...Do you still wanna hang out?" TJ's nervousness throws Gus for a loop. Did the kid just randomly forget how hard he's been crushing on him for the past year and a half?!

"Of course..."

The smiles they exchange are remarkably precious. 

"Um, should we keep going?" Gus breaks their comforting silence. 

"Yeah. Yeah." TJ nods, proceeding to walk among him and return his swift glances. 

It could happen. TJ could very much easily reach over and take his hand right now. They're both painfully aware of each other's radiating anticipation. Except maybe it’s not the time to go forward with presenting their feelings.

Until their inextinguishable romantic tension can be confirmed, they're going to have to be faced with some sort of sign. 

 

Wordlessly reaching their destination, they giggle nervously when TJ holds the door open for him, following him inside and being unexpectedly greeted with Jonah and Cyrus acting much closer than usual. 

Within a few seconds, the status of their relationship is made quite clear.

So clear, that it almost feels like the sign they were hoping to be faced with.

Sitting across from him at their table, Cyrus playfully feeds Jonah his vanilla ice cream with a shining expression, the two of them giggling so much that the food leaks out the right corner of Jonah's mouth. 

Naturally, Cyrus is the one to wipe it away.

They're so fluffy that it's kind of sickening. Fluffily sickening enough to be a sign.

Knowing they aren't to be interrupted, TJ and Gus smile to each other warmly, looking to the front counter where they plan to discreetly order. 

Just in time, the doll of theirs begins to coo and babble. 

"Guys?" 

Looking back in their direction, it appears that this is what it took for them to pick up on their presence. 

"Hey..." TJ grins, looking around just in case. "Uh, we didn't wanna bother you guys. We're surprised you noticed us."

"Yeah, well, we probably wouldn't have if it weren't for JJ." Jonah admits, chuckling with Gus and Cyrus as TJ smiles forcefully. 

"Wanna go order?" Gus asks TJ, being told that he'll catch up with him shortly. 

"By the way," TJ says to Jonah once Gus has left. "We changed the doll's name to GJ."

Jonah's frown is so sour that TJ and Cyrus fear it'll never come off. 

"Be right back..." TJ excuses, hastily joining Gus at the front of the line.

Getting a needed glimpse at the boy across from him, Jonah's look of betrayal is immediately replaced with a joyous expression.

 

Up at the counter, just when the female cashier thinks she'll never hear the end of the boys' banter over who'll be paying, Gus manages to swipe his Visa card before TJ can hand over his cash.

"You're gonna pay for that." TJ grins at him. "Not literally, but-"

The cashier smiles to the sound of their laughter.

"You okay?" Cyrus is quick to see that Jonah has gone back to sulking. 

"Yeah." He looks at him. "Sorry. I was just..." He looks over to TJ and Gus, who continue to kid around as they wait for their orders. “Getting kinda nervous that TJ's gonna replace me with Gus, or something..." He knows it's foolish.

"Hey." Cyrus takes his hand. "No one's replacing anybody."

Jonah couldn't ask for a better support system.

"You're right." 

"Thank you." TJ thanks the woman who prepared his and Gus' food, taking them both so that Gus can carry GJ without a problem.

Approaching the group of tables, they start to wonder if Jonah would Cyrus would like their privacy. 

Returning their gazes, the couple picks up on their hesitance, assuming they'd prefer privacy themselves. 

"Um. You guys wanna sit here? It's okay if you don't." Jonah proposes, nodding at Cyrus' look of approval. 

"Yeah!" Walking closer, TJ looks at Gus to see that it's okay, continuing along and sensing him follow.

"So.” At one of the table's two remaining chairs, TJ sits next to Jonah and directly across from Gus, who's seated beside Cyrus. 

"Where's Rex?" He and Gus proceed to scoff.

"In my Mom's glove compartment." Cyrus truthfully answers. 

"Still?" Gus cringes. 

"It's fine. It's not real. And frankly you guys look pretty ridiculous carrying that thing around." Cyrus motions to GJ. 

"At least we're good Dads." TJ gloats. 

"So are we!" Jonah bluffs. "Sometimes parents just need—separate time from the child. Who in this case, is not real." Smiling at Cyrus, the two giggle while blushing deeply. 

"What." Cyrus asks the other pair, seeing they've begun to smirk. 

"Nothing." TJ grins, the boys' admiration for one another inspiring him to slowly reach over and touch Gus' hand.

Noticeably perking up, Gus gives him a gratified glance, carefully taking his hand and squeezing it tight. 

Returning Cyrus and Jonah's beams, the two know that it doesn't take a revelation to understand what's happening. 

They're both couples now, and if anything this might as well have just become a double date. 

One that Reed is about to ruthlessly interrupt. 

"Oh, god dammit." If he knew they were there, he never would've walked inside. 

Recoiling at the sound of his voice, the four of them look over in distaste. 

"Again?" Gus repeats, he and TJ's hands now swapping sweat. 

"Yes, again." Reed snaps from the front entrance. "My sister works here, assholes." He points to the cashier behind the counter before him, the same girl who happened to take all the other boys' orders. 

"Oh..." TJ sours. 

"Reed, when are you going to Canada." The girl is impatient. 

"Later." Focusing on the guys, he walks straight   over to their table. "I had to change out of my Gucci because of you, asshole." He retorts to TJ. "And get my hair washed." 

"So?!" TJ cringes. "You're wearing a different Gucci outfit right now. What’s it matter?”

"What'd you do to him?" Cyrus asks.

"Pelted him with my smoothie." 

Reed is in no way fond of Cyrus and Jonah's snickers. 

"What's so funny, fags."

"Fuck you." Jonah spitefully laughs, getting quite a kick out of his rudeness. 

"What was that?!" Reed slams his hands down on the table, causing the others to jump and for TJ to instinctively pour his ice cream on top of him. 

"What the hell you little bitch?! Quit throwing shit at me!"

"I'm not throwing I'm pouring!" TJ sets down the cup and flips him off.

"You guys are so lucky you'll never be allowed here again." Cleaning what he can off his face, TJ looks to his sister for support. 

"Do you expect me to ban them? 'Cause, I'm not." 

"Bitch." He groans, grabbing a handful of napkins when making his dramatic exit. 

"How long is he going to be gone for again?" Gus asks the boy's sister. 

"Not long enough."

Following her answer, the boys look to each other with relieved smiles, going on to shake their heads and snicker extensively over this relentless eventfulness. 

 

Since Reed left so spontaneously, the boys' Health teacher had no problem with Jonah and TJ switching partners, but he was not happy about Jonah and Cyrus' careless irresponsibly, giving them a D- for their shenanigans. 

TJ and Gus meanwhile got an A+ for their spectacular parenting, Reed getting an overall zero for being the cowardly jackass he is. 

It's been a nice two weeks without him, meaning the boys are in no way looking forward to the day he gets back either gloating or pouting about his dumb tournament. 

Unfortunately, not only is that day today, but Reed's pouting has turned into full blown sobs.

"Hey guys." He approaches the four of them standing at Jonah's locker, crying some more and blowing his nose into his sleeve.

"What do you want, Reed..." Cyrus asks as the others cringe.

"I just wanted to say, I get it now. I totally understand what it's like to be a minority."

"What the hell are you talking about?" TJ fumes.

"I'm gay, guys. That means we're like, totally connected now!"

"No. It doesn't." Jonah frowns. 

"Is this some sort of joke?" Gus asks. "'Cause it's not funny."

"No guys, I'm seriously! I'm most definitely a homosexual!"

"So, what's the problem. Do your parents see an issue?" Jonah’s hoping this isn't the case. That would mean they’d have to feel sympathy for him. 

"No, they're fine with it. They've known all along, actually."

"Are you gonna apologize to us, or...?" Cyrus isn't interested in his games.

"What? Why would I? I'm gay now!" 

The fact that TJ ever liked this kid makes him want to tweeze off his own nipples.

"Reed, that doesn't mean we hate you any less." Cyrus states, observing Jonah, Gus, and TJ nodding along.

Feeling too defeated to provide an instant response, Reed stays suspiciously speechless until the words come breaking out of him.

"Yeah, well fuck you guys! You guys are assholes! Of course I'm not gay. That'd mean I'd have something in common with you freaks. Fuck off! Bitches."

Making the other boys flinch by slamming his hand on the front of Jonah's locker, Reed holds that same hand in his fist, spinning around and groaning in pain as he furiously storms off.

"Wow." TJ speaks aloud their thoughts. 

"You guys think he's really gay?" Gus asks.

"Eh, maybe. It's not like we'd claim him." Cyrus figures, nodding with the others at his reminder.

If there's one thing the guy deserves credit for, it's that his irrefutable irresponsibility was the fate that brought the four of them closer together. 

Not that they'd ever tell him that. Personally, they’re hoping he’ll never realize. 

Notes:

Pls comment or I’ll cry.
(Why was Reed just basically a mix of than from mpgis and Cartman from South Park)

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