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You spent time in “your” room. It was the only place you were allowed to be alone, besides the bathroom, and you really wanted to be alone. No, wanted was not the right word...you wanted to spend more time with the Howling Commandos, learn about them, get to know them as more than pictures in books. But you couldn’t, so you needed to stay on your own until Howard Stark arrived. Hours passed as you tried to reach your own time again and again, meditating on the bed in hopes of opening your eyes and finding yourself back in the future. But each time you felt a small pull there, you opened your eyes to find yourself trapped in the past.
A knock at your door made you jump. It creaked open, never fully closed. You thought the others in the bar might be more comfortable if you didn’t keep the door locked. You expected the stern and suspicious glare from Ms...Agent? Carter. Instead, it was Bucky’s smile.
“You’re in luck,” he told you, “Mr. Stark has arrived.”
You leapt from the bed. “Really?”
Bucky nodded. Instead of stepping into the hallway and showing you the way, he stepped inside and closed the door after a careful look over his shoulder. He pressed a knuckle to his lips, eyes on the ground before meeting yours.
“What is it?” you asked.
“Howard is...if you ever need a break, just give me a sign, okay?” The way Bucky shifted his weight from one foot to another made him seem younger than he was.
“What kind of sign?”
Bucky thought a moment. “How about you just blink twice at me?”
You nodded. “I can do that.”
The wind howled outside, a loud promise of the coming storm. Though it beat against the windows it didn’t make you jump as you and Bucky watched each other. Then, the words just slipped out. “You’re a good person, you know. Everything you did for Captain Amer--Steve.” You dropped your eyes to your feet and poked at a stray splinter. “I know he gets all the attention, but you…”
The floorboards creaked when Bucky took a step closer. “But I…?”
You scratched at the back of your head. Where were you going with that sentence? You were always my favourite. True, but...not quite what you wanted to get across to him. You raised your head. “You’ll always be my hero, no matter what.”
Bucky’s smile faltered as his brow furrowed. He quickly recovered, slapping on that sly grin. “We better get downstairs; Howard isn’t the type to wait long.”
“Right.”
Bucky opened the door and held it for you. There was a moment when you passed him that you thought he was going to touch you but when you looked back he was still holding the door. You hurried downstairs, face unusually warm in the cold building.
Introductions were short. Someone had told Howard about your “fading” and he wanted to see it for himself. After a quick handshake, a wink and a grin, and you were sat in a rickety wooden chair with all eyes on you. You gulped.
“Ah, Mr. Stark,” you began, “I would really like to talk with you.” Your eyes fell onto Bucky and a few other soldiers. “Alone.”
“I’m afraid we can’t allow that,” Agent Carter said. She was as stern as ever, and as much as you wanted to hold it against her you couldn’t. These were people at war. You had no idea what they were thinking. Well, judging by the fire in Agent Carter’s eyes you could take a guess.
“Hey,” Howard said, kneeling a foot away from you, “if they want to be alone with me to show me a thing or two, I’ll oblige.” He smiled at you. “Especially if it’s to show me something I haven’t seen before.”
You blinked, forcing yourself to look at your lap. Arguments began in front of you. Carter wanted you to stay where you could be seen, insisting that you may be an assassin after Howard. Howard was more than happy to be alone with you, and when he insisted on it Bucky was the one to step in and suggest it a bad idea. Your head whipped up, not expecting the resistance from him. He held his hands up to you as an apology.
“I swear I’m not a Nazi,” you said, feeling tears beginning to brim your eyelashes. Of all the things you thought you would have to say, that was not one of them. “I’m trying to help. I was just trying to…” You sniffled, feeling a lump in your throat form. The room went silent, though there was a small sigh from Agent Carter.
“How about you all give us the room?” Howard suggested. The playfulness that had dripped through his tone earlier was gone. A few of the soldiers obeyed, curiously with just a nod from Captain America. He also gave a look to Agent Carter, who raised her eyebrows at him but eventually caved.
She turned to Howard. “Ten minutes. And then we’ll be back.”
You nodded at her, though it wasn’t even directed at you. Howard didn’t agree or disagree, only smiled.
Captain America held the door for Agent Carter when he noticed something missing. “Bucky, you coming?”
Bucky stayed where he stood just behind Howard, his gaze hard on you. You pulled back a bit in the chair, letting it creak against the floors. Why was he staring at you so hard? You blinked. Oh, right! Your eyes widened to show that you weren’t going to blink again.
Still, he didn’t move, instead crossing his arms.
“Bucky,” Steve said again. After a deep inhale through his nose, and seeing that you weren’t going to send him your secret help me message, Bucky turned. His footsteps were slow, and you couldn’t ignore the narrowing of his eyes as he looked to Howard.
Howard stood and moved to the front door, ensuring it close tightly. When he turned to you he clapped his hands. “So?”
Right. Now to explain things. You blurted, “I’m from the future.”
Howard’s eyebrows raised. You could see the laugh forming in his throat, the way his lips turned upwards so you quickly interrupted. “I don’t really have any way of proving it. And honestly I don’t want to tell you everything that happens in the future; I don’t want to screw anything up. But long story short, I have the ability to travel back in time, but only like, to possess my own body.” You gulped, shaking your head. “I don’t even understand it but then I was at this bar in the future, with my friend, and then I was here.” You stood, pointing to the ground. “And Mr. Stark I know you can help me because you’re like the smartest person on the planet right now, so please just help me get back to my time before I majorly screw up history?”
The pregnant pause that followed your shoddy explanation worried you. He was probably getting ready to have you locked up in some place the history books never talked about. You wet your lips, trying to keep your breathing even.
“Right now?” Howard asked.
“What?”
“You said I’m the smartest person on the planet right now,” he explained, “does that mean someone comes along and knocks me off my pedestal?”
You furrowed your brow, thinking of Tony Stark and the Iron Man suit. Slowly, you nodded.
Howard grimaced. “Not sure how I feel about that.”
“Proud, probably,” you muttered.
“Proud?” Howard smiled. “If I’m proud that must mean they’re my kid? You joking doll? I have a kid in the future?”
You let out a puff of air through your nose. “Yes, a son. But please don’t like take that and change anything because the future seriously needs your son when--” You clasped a hand over your mouth.
“When what?” Howard took a step towards you.
You shook your head, hand still over your mouth. You thought of New York, how you’d seen it on the news and the destruction. Of hating that your best friend was there on that very day on vacation. Of the adrenaline that had raced through your veins as you sat on your couch with nothing to do but stare wide eyed at the screen. Helpless.
Kind of like now.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Howard said, his tone rushed. “What was that?”
“What was what?” you mumbled behind your hand.
“I think you just faded.” He smiled now. “I think I might believe you.”
“Really?” Your hands dropped to your sides.
Howard nodded. “Why don’t we talk about how you did this in the future. No details about anything other than you and this power you got.”