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Glowing red pupils stared down at her, any trace of emotion impossible to find in those demonic eyes. Though emotion was still visible on the most human of features, most notably her downturned lips and the creases of sadness in her greyed skin. Pain also existed in those features, likely in part due to the monstrous flesh protruding from her jaw and covering the rest of her body.
Byleth could only stare at the abomination in front of her. It did not anger her or instill fear, but rather filled her with sadness and regret. She wished with every fiber of her being to reach out to the one in front of her, to help guide her off of this terrible path. But it was too late. When she reached her hand out, it was not an open palm to give a chance, but a fist closed around the hilt of a sword to offer release.
Her eyes flew open. Byleth knew how the dream ended, but she still had no desire to live it. She let out a stuttered sigh. She wished these memories would stop plaguing her. After losing the power of the goddess, she would have thought she’d no longer see all the possibilities of time, but it seemed these were still Byleth’s own memories to suffer.
She rolled onto her side, greeted by the sleeping face of Edelgard. That was right, they were here together, in Enbarr. Byleth couldn’t help but feel some creeping fear in her mind when she saw the sleeping Emperor’s face. Slowly, she lifted her hand, placing it on Edelgard’s cheek. Her face was warm, she was real and no monster. The two were right there, alive, together. Edelgard began to stir from her peaceful sleep, letting out a small groan as she opened her eyes. “Byleth?”
Byleth suddenly pulled her hand away, a pang of guilt entering her heart. “Sorry for waking you.”
Her voice trailed off as she directed her eyes away from Edelgard, though a hand on her cheek made her gaze return to her wife. Worry was clearly stricken in Edelgard’s features, concern filling her lilac eyes. “You look as though you’ve seen a ghost. Is something wrong?”
Byleth put her hand atop Edelgard’s, her touch was so warm and always welcome. Byleth felt as though she could always melt into the Emperor’s touch. She took a deep breath and she closed her eyes, allowing her thoughts to settle before speaking. “It’s fine. It was just another dream.”
She had no desire to worry Edelgard, not when the Emperor already had so much to worry about in the first place. Byleth didn’t want to be another weight on a pile of burdens. Edelgard would not let this pass though, as she pulled herself closer to the former professor, a serious look mixing in with her concerned features. “No, it’s not. You’ve been waking from dreams like this more and more recently. Byleth, please, tell me what’s wrong.”
The silence was deafening as Edelgard’s words hung in the air. Byleth thought back to all that time ago, during the war, when she had told Edelgard of the same dreams haunting her then. She sighed. Edelgard had to know the truth. “Do you remember how I told you about my nightmares? The ones in which I chose not to follow you?” Edelgard gave a small nod in response. “I suppose never told you what happens to you in them.”
Edelgard’s mouth opened slightly, as though she was about to respond, but she slowly closed it, deciding against speaking. She knew that Byleth’s dreams had ended in her death, but that’s all that Byleth ever stated, never going into much detail of why it shook her so. “You see, in my dreams, you always die. Sometimes you kneel before me, begging for death only by my hand. Other times you turn into a demon, a crest beast as a last resort when you’ve been backed into a corner. The images are all so fresh and real in my mind.”
Byleth squeezed Edelgard’s hand as she thought back to the dreams. Just the thought of losing her was painful, but it was even more so when Edelgard’s death came by Byleth’s own hand. When she stared into those beautiful lilac eyes, all she saw was sorrow. “I’m here with you. Right now. Alive. The war is over. None of that will happen.”
Edelgard’s voice was so soft and reassuring, and yet, Byleth couldn’t help but let out a sob. Tears stung her eyes, blurring the image of her wife in front of her. “You don’t understand. It all has happened. I’ve lived and gone through the war countless times, all in different ways.”
Byleth was suddenly wracked with sobs, unable to stop herself from crying. The pain of living such a prolonged life and repeating it so many times seemed to finally crash down on her. It was suffocating. It made her feel as though she was drowning without end. But the crushing feeling seemed to lighten when she was pulled into an embrace. Byleth buried her face into Edelgard’s shoulder, letting out the tears she had held back for so long. A hand rubbed against her back as a whisper hit her ears. “That doesn’t change that I’m here with you now.”
Byleth’s arms tightened around Edelgard, holding her as closely as she could. She didn’t want to let go, feeling as though her wife would slip away if she did. Byleth raised her head slightly from the nook in Edelgard’s neck. She spoke, her broken voice only barely above a whisper. “But how long will that last? We don’t know if your crests will take you away from me tomorrow or in years from now. And without the power of the goddess, I can’t reverse the hands of time and find a new way to save you.”
Edelgard pulled away just enough to look Byleth in the eyes. Those beautiful eyes Byleth could get lost in were filled with so much love and understanding. She could feel a gentle hand combing through her blue locks. A slow, calming motion. “You don’t need to. We will find a way to get back my lost time.”
Coming from Edelgard’s mouth, those words weren’t just for comfort, but were a promise. Byleth could tell how determined she was, there would be no stopping Edelgard from achieving her goals, even if the world worked against her. Though some small kernel of doubt still weighed in the back of her mind. “And if we can’t?”
Edelgard placed a kiss on Byleth’s forehead, holding her closely. “Then we’ll just have to enjoy what time we do have together. I believe you’ve told me that once before.”
Byleth’s nerves seemed to calm at the words as she buried her face back into the warmth of Edelgard, letting out a soft hum. “Perhaps, but it’s nice to hear from someone else.” She took a deep breath, taking in the scent of her wife. Edelgard was her anchor just as much as Byleth was Edelgard’s. It seemed like she was the only person who could fully understand the depths of Byleth’s heart, and was willing to lend an ear and shoulder. “Thank you, El.”
She felt another kiss, this time planted atop her head. Edelgard kept her close as she continued to comb her fingers through Byleth’s long mess of hair. The former professor couldn’t help melting into the comfort of her love’s embrace, slowly drifting off to sleep. Her efforts would not be in vain. After all, they killed a false goddess and changed Byleth from a deity’s corpse vessel to a living human with a heartbeat. To give Edelgard back all those years she lost would seem like child’s play in comparison.