Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Wooseok had trouble sleeping.

It wasn’t new, really. He had been a restless child and an even more restless teenager, but as an adult, it was getting to be ridiculous. He tried everything — herbal supplements, over-the-counter sleep aids, prescription sleeping pills, alcohol, and every at-home remedy he could find on the internet — but nothing worked. It had been weeks since he last had a full night’s sleep, and he was starting to become delirious. That’s why when the guy in the laundry room asked if he could borrow some of his powdered detergent, he thought he was hallucinating.

“It’s okay,” he said, disappointed that Wooseok had blatantly ignored him. “I didn’t know I was out.”

Wooseok shook himself. “Oh! Sorry, yeah, help yourself.”

He was real, and Wooseok was embarrassed. The very real person who was out of laundry detergent was standing there with an overflowing basket of dirty clothes in a worn out hoodie too big for him and shorts that Wooseok guessed were actually just his boxers, and he probably felt bad enough as it was.

“Are you sure,” he asked, surprised.

“Yeah, sorry, I didn’t hear you,” Wooseok tried to laugh it off, and the other guy relaxed.

“Thank you so much...?”

“Wooseok,” he said, passing him the carton.

“Ah! I’m Seungyoun,” he smiled brightly. “I think you live next door to me.”

“I do? Oh right, yeah, I’ve seen you before.” Wooseok had never seen him before in his life.

“Right? I thought so!”

Wooseok returned to his own pile of laundry, too tired to hold a conversation. He didn’t want to be rude, but he felt like his own body was churning inside one of the washing machines instead. He yawned and for a second he closed his eyes. He tipped over ever so slightly…

“Whoa!” Seungyoun shouted, grabbing him. “Are you okay?!”

Wooseok’s eyes snapped open, and he gasped. “What happened?”

“You almost collapsed,” he said, eyes wide. “Do you have seizures or something?”

Wooseok scratched his head ready to run and hide. “I haven’t been sleeping. That’s never happened before.”

“Not sleeping or almost falling over?”

“Almost falling over,” Wooseok clarified.

“Huh,” he said, thinking. “Wait, I’m not keeping you up, am I?”

Wooseok didn’t understand what he meant at first, but then he remembered the sounds coming through their shared wall. They were low and steady, and Wooseok listened to them every night until early into the morning. Sometimes he watched tv, but usually when he was tossing and turning, they were his only comfort, and he realized that they were coming from Seungyoun’s apartment.

“No! No, not at all,” he said. “I’ve been like this since I was really little.”

“Oh,” he relaxed. “If I ever get too loud, just bang on the wall or something. I don’t want to make it worse or anything.”

He seemed like he genuinely meant it, and Wooseok felt bad. All the guy wanted was to borrow some laundry soap, and Wooseok had unloaded his life problems onto him. Anyone who had to wash their clothes in their boxers had enough problems of their own.

“I don’t mind it at all!” Wooseok said. “What are you doing in there all night, anyway.”

“Ah, it’s kind of embarrassing, I guess,” he said, shifting his weight between his feet. “I make music. Well, I’m trying to. It’s not very good yet.”

“It sounds good to me,” Wooseok offered to encourage him. “Through the wall I mean.”

Seungyoun laughed. “You didn’t even know what it was!”

“It could have been a movie score or a video game soundtrack!” Wooseok defended himself even though he had been caught.

“Sure,” Seungyoun said, finishing putting his clothes in the machine. He passed Wooseok back his detergent. “Well, neighbor, if you still have trouble sleeping and don’t want to stay up all night by yourself, feel free to drop by. I could use someone else’s opinion that isn’t ‘it sounds good through the wall’,” he said, friendly and like he meant the offer. “But I might not hear you knock so like feel free to bang on the door.”

“That’s really nice of you,” Wooseok said, but he didn’t really think he would take him up on it.

“You saved me from going to work tomorrow smelling like feet,” he said. “And I’ll be up anyways so I really don’t mind. Actually it gets kind of lonely after a while.”

Wooseok watched Seungyoun shake himself.

“Guess I’m sleepy too,” Seungyoun said. “You don’t have to if that’s weird.”

“No, no! Thanks!”

Wooseok decided to go back to his apartment and make himself a cup of coffee instead of standing there to wait for his clothes. He wasn’t up to idle chit chat either even though Seungyoun was being nothing but nice to him. He just didn’t feel like socializing then.

When he returned, Seungyoun was gone, and his clothes were ready to switch to the dryer. He threw them in before sitting on the old plastic school chair in the corner and pulling out his phone to drain his battery on a mobile game. If things didn’t get better soon, he was going to have to call his doctor again.

That night, Wooseok changed into one of his clean t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants. He made himself a cup of tea that was supposed to lull him to sleep, and he put on a playlist of rain sounds, but the combination just made him have to go to the bathroom.

It was midnight, and he tossed and turned. He did everything right. He didn’t use his phone. He didn’t have any distractions. All the lights were off, and he used blackout curtains. He was so frustrated he thought he could scream, but then he heard the sound of the bass coming through the wall.

His neighbor was working again, and after a while he calmed down and listened to the subtle rumble and tried to guess what the song sounded like. It didn’t sound like hip hop, but it wasn’t pop either. It wasn’t as slow as a ballad, but it could have been.

He sat up on his bed against the wall and listened for a while in the dark, and he wondered if it would have been weird to go over there (just to satisfy his curiosity of course). Seungyoun did offer. He was invited. It would almost be rude not to stop by! What if he hurt his feelings by not going? That just wouldn’t do.

Wooseok hopped up off the bed in such a hurry that he almost tripped over his feet and was glad that no one was around to see it. He did not change into his outside clothes because after all why would he need to dress up just to stop by and visit his neighbor when he already saw the guy in his underwear. He should be comfortable, he thought. Seungyoun would probably feel awkward if Wooseok got dressed this late at night. He would probably ask him questions about why he was just getting home so late and wrongfully assume that Wooseok had somewhere else to be other than at Seungyoun’s apartment to listen to his music. He did think to stop by the mirror and smooth his hair down that had taken the brunt of his tossing around.

He stood in front of Seungyoun’s door and gathered his courage. It was totally fine for him to be there, and he knew he was just being shy because they didn’t really know each other, but what if Seungyoun was busy and didn’t want him there? That would have made things more awkward right? They had to live next door to each other! How would he be able to leave his apartment ever again? He sucked it up and knocked. What was he so worried about?

He knocked once and waited, but Seungyoun didn’t come to the door. He immediately realized how dumb he looked and turned to leave before remembering that he said he probably wouldn’t hear him. Of course, he thought, the music is too loud. He knocked again, this time loud enough that he felt like he was banging on it in a crude way, but then the thumping bass lowered and the door opened.

Seungyoun was there in the same hoodie and boxers combo as before, and Wooseok would have almost been embarrassed for him if this wasn’t literally his apartment and it wasn’t after midnight.

“I didn’t think you would come by,” he said, smiling and happy as if it wasn’t a major imposition. “Come in!”

Wooseok laughed nervously and stepped backwards, “I couldn’t sleep, and I remembered that you said… I can come back another time.”

Seungyoun opened the door wider and shook his head. “ Come in.”

He followed him into his apartment and was surprised to see how it looked on the inside. Seungyoun had replaced every single light source with colorful leds that bled a mixture of neon pink, blue, and purple onto the walls. There wasn’t a lot of regular furniture, but that was because he seemed to have spent all of his daytime income on equipment for his personal studio. There was a black tufted futon and a glass coffee table with a couple of magazines and a lit candle on top, and above the sofa hung a framed picture of a nighttime skyline that stretched its length.

The seat faced Seungyoun’s studio equipped with a laptop, a regular computer with three monitors, two keyboards, a midi keyboard, three guitars, a bass, and he was sure he saw a saxophone tucked between two shelves stacked with albums. Not that he was taking inventory, but he wasn’t sure where he was supposed to look.

Seungyoun plopped down in his computer chair. “Have a seat!”

Wooseok sat on the couch and bounced a little against it, surprised at how comfortable it was. “Whoa, this is nice! Where did you get it?”

“I got it from a friend who was moving out of town,” he said. “Oh! I’m so dumb. Are you thirsty or anything?”

“No thanks,” Wooseok said, rubbing his hands together. “Your place is really cool.”

“Thank you,” he said, proud. “Songwriting is 75 percent skill and 25 percent atmosphere.”

“You must be good then,” Wooseok said, impressed by how much he felt like he was in a comic book.

“I hope so,” he said honestly. “Oh, let me know if the lights bother your eyes or anything. I’m sure I have a normal lamp around here somewhere.”

Wooseok laughed. “I like it. I’m thinking about replacing all the lights in my apartment with these but like just the blue ones so I can pretend I’m underwater.”

“Like a merman?” Seungyoun asked, and Wooseok realized how stupid he sounded and cringed. “That would be cool. You could add little jars of sea shells for decoration. Maybe even one of those little nets for a rug. Oh wow that would be so cool. You have to do it.”

Wooseok blinked. “You think so?”

“Yeah! If you want, I could help you some time to look for things; I know where to buy the lights,” he said, excited.

And that’s when Wooseok decided he might have to change his apartment into something oceanic. For the aesthetic, of course.

“That would be fun,” he said, glad that Seungyoun wasn’t mer-shaming him. “Oh, your song!”

“Right! Do you want to hear it?”

“Sure!” Wooseok said. “I was trying to figure out what it sounded like through the wall earlier and couldn’t do it.”

“Then you’ve come to the right place! It’s not finished yet, but…,” he twirled his chair around and tapped his finger on the spacebar before spinning back to gauge Wooseok’s expression.

Wooseok listened carefully, looking up to avoid eye contact with Seungyoun who was eagerly staring at him with an intensity that could have melted steel. It started off slow and simple, but even though Wooseok didn’t know anything about music, he couldn’t help but smile as the layers of instruments came in. It was like a mixture of a film score and drum and bass that felt like the soundtrack of a place that looked like Seungyoun’s apartment.

Wooseok’s head moved back and forth on its own to the music, and Seungyoun watched him with nervous eyes. The song ended about 30 seconds in, jarring him back. “Holy shit.”

“Do you like it?”

“It’s so good!!! I can’t believe you made this!”

“You’re not just saying that right?” He leaned forward, hanging onto Wooseok’s every word.

“It’s really good,” he assured him. “Like I can’t wait to hear what this turns in to!”

“Thank you! I’ve never really let anyone listen to anything before it’s finished before, so I was really worried,” Seungyoun admitted.

“Ah! You have absolutely nothing to worry about! It’s amazing!”

Seungyoun was quite happy to hear his words, and Wooseok thought that he had never met someone so happy before in his life. Maybe that’s what it was like to stay up all night making art.

“So, you don’t mind if I work on it,” Seungyoun asked. “I don’t want to be a bad host.”

“No! No! Pretend I’m not here!”

Soon Seungyoun went back to work, and Wooseok was fascinated.. He listened to what he already had a few times before picking up his guitar. He picked at a few strings, thinking. The notes played through his computer like an amplifier, and he scribbled something down on a notebook nearby. Wooseok watched him record the notes he liked over the track and then move them around on the screen. It was like watching someone play tetris except with bits and fragments of sounds, and when he played it back, it was sorrowful. Almost heartbreaking. A chill ran up Wooseok’s back, and he inhaled sharply.

He didn’t react, but Wooseok could see the corner of Seungyoun’s mouth raise as he fiddled with one of the keyboards. Wooseok blushed, but instead of saying anything about his reaction to Seungyoun’s song, he just worked faster and more enthusiastically.

His workflow was all over the place, but there was a method to the madness that would take Wooseok years to get used to. Instead of just playing the music in complete parts, he moved back and forth like he was building it out of bricks with his own hands.

Wooseok’s nerves settled, and he loosened up. He realized he was sitting so tightly wound up on the couch that his knees were to his chest and he was barely sitting on the edge. He sat back, and his back sank into the cushion and he almost let out a happy little noise that would have surely been enough of an excuse for him to run out of there screaming.

He thought that it wouldn’t be so bad if he laid down onto the sofa and watched Seungyoun work. He wouldn’t mind if he did. Seungyoun was busy working. He probably didn’t care what Wooseok did behind him as long as he was quiet. So Wooseok curled onto the cushion and listened as the pieces of music came together one by one.

The next thing he knew it was morning, and he was alone in an unfamiliar place. Morning sunlight shone through the window and the lights were off, but he realized he was in Seungyoun’s apartment in his living room by himself. The computers were off, and there was nothing neon, and it practically looked like a normal place.

Someone had covered him up with a blanket and slipped a pillow under his head. It could only have been one person, logically, but Wooseok was sure Seungyoun wouldn’t have done that. He sat up and yawned and stretched, cracking his neck. He felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time. Rested.

There was a note left for him on the coffee table, and he needed to shine the light from his phone to read it.

Wooseok ^-^

I had to go to bed because I have work tomorrow, but I didn’t want to disturb you. You were OUT, and I remembered that you said you had trouble sleeping so uhhhhhhh yeah thanks for listening to my song! Help yourself to whatever you want from the kitchen if you’re hungry or thirsty. I’ll see you tomorrow night if you’re bored again.

p.s. pls don’t rob me i’m poor

Wooseok cringed at himself a little for passing out in this guy’s living room, but he smiled because he was so nice and he invited him back so he probably didn’t mind at all. He just hoped that he didn’t think that he thought his song was boring because it wasn’t at all!

Wooseok grabbed a pen and added his own note to the back to thank him.

Sorry I fell asleep! That’s literally never happened to me before! But you knew that I guess. Your song was great, and I can’t wait to hear more! If I hear you working I might pop over for just a minute! Thank you! :D

Wooseok sat the piece of paper back down onto the table, but before he snuck out, he folded up the blanket that was much too soft and set it on the couch with the pillow on top. He smoothed it down and was satisfied that he wouldn’t leave a single reason for Seungyoun to think he was a bother except for the time he fell asleep on his couch and stayed over all night.

Wooseok made it through the whole day without a single cup of coffee. He was a little stiff, but he felt this energy inside himself that he had forgotten existed. It must have been what being awake was like. He buzzed around work like a happy little bee and even didn’t hate himself for taking the train back home when he and the other passengers were packed in like sardines.

As the day came to an end, the exhaustion hit again, but that was normal, right? People got reasonably tired when it was bedtime. He jumped into the shower and changed into his sleeping clothes and crawled into bed ready to sleep, but then it happened again. Suddenly it was midnight, and his eyes were open, and he was counting the ridges on the ceiling. He was a fool for thinking he was fine again.

But then he heard the music through the wall and thought that maybe it was a good thing he wasn’t able to sleep yet. He hopped out of bed and rushed out of his apartment, smoothing himself out once he reached Seungyoun’s door.

He knocked again, less cautious than before, and heard the music cut off again from the inside. Soon Seungyoun was at the door in his hoodie but in sweat pants like he was expecting company that time. “There you are!”

“I heard the music,” Wooseok said, feeling shy for some reason. “Your note said…”

“Yes, yes, come in,” Seungyoun insisted. “I won’t bite. I ordered myself some pizza earlier so I’m getting a late start. Help yourself if you’re hungry. I can’t eat it all.”

“Thanks,” Wooseok said. He envied that Seungyoun wasn’t nervous at all, but he guessed it was his home so why should he be?

He did eat one slice only because he wanted to be a good guest and that it smelled delicious. After a long day, it was exactly what he needed.

“How’s the song?” Wooseok asked, settling onto his spot on the couch, his legs folded beneath him like he owned the place.

“It’s good! I’ve been working on the bridge, and I think it’s coming together! Do you want to hear it?”

“Of course,” he said.

Seungyoun hit the spacebar, and it was completely different than how he remembered. He was sure it was the same song, but it was enhanced a thousand times over. If the last version made him tingle, this version made his whole body vibrate. His jaw dropped.

Seungyoun clapped.

“That’s exactly the reaction I was hoping for!” He cheered over the music. “What do you think?”

“I can’t think right now,” Wooseok shouted back. “Ask me again later.”

Seungyoun spun around in his chair again, happy with his creation and satisfied with Wooseok’s reaction, and then the song was over.

“How did you change it that much between now and last night?” Wooseok asked in awe.

Seungyoun snorted. “I did it all yesterday.”

At the look of confusion on Wooseok’s face he added, “to be fair, you were out like as soon as I turned around.”

Wooseok coughed. “That’s impossible.”

“Nope, your snoring inspired the bass line in the middle section,” he teased. “It was better than a metronome.”

Wooseok covered his face in horror. “I can’t believe this. I’m so sorry. That’s so embarrassing!”

“No, no, it’s fine,” he said. “You were so tired, and it was nice to have someone here who didn’t mind if I ignored them all night.”

“Oh, then feel free to not talk to me at all if it helps you,” Wooseok joked. “You can forget my name if it helps.”

“Who are you again?” He teased, and Wooseok no longer felt bad about sleeping the whole time.

Seungyoun picked up a guitar and strummed idly, thinking about how to get back into his work flow, and Wooseok thought he should say something.

“Where did you learn how to play?” He asked.

“I taught myself,” Seungyoun said. “I think it was maybe in the seventh year at school? I saw some guys busking, and I thought they looked really cool. People stood around them and listened, and I thought it would be nice to learn how to do something that made people listen to me too.”

“Oh, wow,” he said, genuinely interested. “Can’t believe you found someone to listen to your music, and they fell asleep before you could finish.”

Seungyoun laughed at that. “It’s fine! I promise! When the song is ready for real, I’ll make you stand up to listen to it.”

“Oh, I won’t be falling asleep again,” he said, determined. “That was a once in a lifetime event.”

“Mmmm,” he said, returning to his work, but he was in a pleasant mood.

If there’s one thing Wooseok would not do was lie down again. Not that he felt like he would fall asleep, but just in case, he would not give his body an excuse to betray him.

The song was really good, though. The more he listened, the more he felt it with every bone in his body. If a song could have brought someone back to life, it would have been Seungyoun’s. It was art that the world needed, and the world didn’t even know it yet.

He tilted his head back and closed his eyes so that he could pay attention to every note like it was meant to be heard. He pictured stars and fireworks, and he loved every part of it.

Wooseok opened his eyes. His cheek was pressed against the pillow again, and he was wrapped snugly in the blanket that was too soft. Not only had he fallen asleep again in Seungyoun’s apartment, but Seungyoun had tucked him in as if he was a child, and Wooseok was furious. First at Seungyoun for babying him when he should have woken him up and sent him home, but then at himself for falling asleep when he store he wouldn't. Well, never again. He was determined to not make the same mistake a third time.

Like before, there was a note on the table, and even just the message on the note made him angrier.

:)

He didn’t even say anything! He just left a dumb smiley face like he was rubbing his face in it! Wooseok huffed. It would not happen a third time. He folded the blanket up and set the pillow back on top, but he had half a mind to go smack sleeping beauty with it for being smug about Wooseok passing out again. But then in a way he was grateful that Seungyoun was being nice about it. Wooseok grabbed the pen and wrote his response underneath Seungyoun’s smiley.

oops

At work he was way more productive than he ever imagined he could be. He was dangerously productive in fact, and he was worried people would start to ask him to actually do things. But if they asked him to, he wouldn’t mind because he actually felt good. He felt like a human being.

“What song is that,” Yohan, who used the desk next to his, asked.

“What song?”

“The one you’ve been humming all day,” he said.

“Oh! My friend wrote it,” Wooseok said. They were friends right? That wasn’t weird to say. They hung out and were friendly and they shared a pizza and Seungyoun even tucked him in at night which was friendly.

“It’s catchy,” Yohan said, going back to his work, and Wooseok thought he should return to his as well.

That evening Wooseok was ready to go to bed, but he heard the bass through his wall. He hadn’t technically been invited back but… All he wanted to do was hear how the song changed then he would leave. He would sleep in his own bed like he was supposed to.

He knocked on the door and waited for Seungyoun to open it. Instead of greeting him, he opened it wide and gestured inside.

“I’m back,” Wooseok said.

“I was wondering if you’d stop by.”

“Is it okay?” He asked.

Seungyoun laughed. “I should just give you the door code so you can let yourself in.”

“I promise I’m not here to rob you,” Wooseok teased.

“I know where you live,” he teased back.

Wooseok found his spot on the couch in the neon studio. “Listen, I–.”

“Hey, if it helps you sleep, just crash here until you’re better,” he said, knowing Wooseok was about to apologize again. “I really don’t mind. You’re quiet, and you don’t make a mess, and you haven’t broken any of my gear. Just sleep.”

“Thanks,” he said, not sure what to say. “I don’t mean to, you know?”

“I know,” he said. “But even if you did, it’s not a problem.”

“What about my snoring?” Wooseok asked.

“You don’t snore,” he laughed. “You do mumble if you don’t like what I’m doing which is great actually. It helps me make changes without having to be told I suck. Just groaned out.”

“Oh my god,” Wooseok gaped. “Do I really do that?”

“Yep! I deleted an entire verse last night because you started grumbling so much in your sleep that I had to wrap the blanket around you to keep you from kicking a lamp over.”

Wooseok realized that he tucked him in for his own safety and wanted to ask their landlord to void his lease. “I’m so sorry…”

“If you keep apologizing, I’ll put the verse back in and when no one likes it, I’ll tell them it’s all your fault!”

“No! Don’t do that! I’m so–,” he caught himself. “So excited to hear the new changes.”

Seungyoun smiled brightly. “I’ll play it for you once, and then it’s off to bed for you.”

“I won’t pass out!”

And then Wooseok woke up again the next morning alone on the couch in Seungyoun’s apartment. He pulled the blanket over his head in frustration and wondered if he had been drugged. Seungyoun must have pumped sleeping gas into his weird neon apartment, and Wooseok was his latest victim. As usual, there was a note on the table, and he sighed. He was ready to have another condescending smiley face stare back at him, but this time it was just a number.

1004

Angel? You’re going to get robbed. But it was his door code, and if he wanted to make it obvious, then that was on him. At least Wooseok could remember it.

The next night he didn’t kid himself. He didn’t get into bed and pretend like he had the physical ability to go to sleep on his own. Instead, he showered and changed into his comfortable clothes and marched next door. He punched in 1004 into the keypad, and it unlocked without a hitch.

“Hello?” He called out. “It’s me!”

“Come in!” Seungyoun shouted back from his workspace where Wooseok found him. “I’m glad you let yourself in.”

“I can’t believe you made your door code something so easy,” Wooseok scolded. “What if someone comes in?”

“They’ll see you on the couch and get scared off,” he said, not looking away from his monitors.

Wooseok considered throwing a nearby projectile at him, but decided against it for the simple reason that he couldn’t afford to replace anything if it broke.

“Before you go to sleep, I want you to listen to this,” he said, and before Wooseok could assure him that he wasn’t there to sleep, he pressed play.

The song had changed again, but it wasn’t the melody that surprised him. Seungyoun was rapping over it (at least he was pretty sure it was Seungyoun), and his voice was like a professional. He had a high tone, but it wasn’t grating, and his syllables were smooth and had a nice flow.

“Whoa!” He said, too surprised to wait until the end. “Is that you?!”

“Yep! Is it okay?”

“It’s better than okay! Dude, I had no idea!”

“Dude,” Seungyoun snorted.

“Did you record this today? You already had time to mix it?”

“I recorded it last night actually,” he said with a sigh.

“No way…”

“Yep… I tried to wake you first so that you wouldn’t be bothered by it, but you were unconscious, and then I thought you were dead and I was like ‘shit, I don’t know CPR’, but I checked and you were still breathing. So I tested it out once to see if I would wake you, and you didn’t even budge. It was kind of incredible.”

“I’ll say,” Wooseok said, stunned. There was no way in hell anyone would believe he had a bad sleep disorder if they heard this. “I’m sor–.”

“Ahhhh! That word is banned in my house! Now, I have to get back to work, so if you wouldn’t mind,” he said, gesturing towards the couch.

“Oof, bossy,” Wooseok grumbled, but he still went where he was supposed to go.

The didn’t even bother trying to stop himself. He knew why he was there. He knew what he was doing. Seungyoun knew it too. That’s why the pillow and the blanket were ready. He hadn’t even bothered to put them away after Wooseok cleaned his spot up that morning. He pulled the blanket over himself, and the sound of Seungyoun’s voice going over the verse over and over again lulled him to sleep.

It had been like that for several days. In fact, Wooseok hadn’t slept in his own bed for the entire work week so naturally Wooseok thought he would sleep over that weekend (just at night, of course), but then something was different. It was close to midnight, but there was no music coming through the wall. He sat on his bed and listened with his ear pressed against it, and it was silent. Seungyoun wasn’t working which meant he probably wasn’t there.

He listened and suddenly it was 2 a.m., and there was still no music. He didn’t feel right just dropping by, but he felt restless and unsettled. He turned off his lights and got into his own bed and waited, and suddenly it was 5 a.m. and there was no music, and he wasn’t able to sleep.

Luckily it was Saturday, and he could nap during the middle of the day, but he didn’t know why he was so sad. He was used to being like this, but he felt like something was missing. Something had changed, and he guessed that maybe he had let himself get carried away into thinking that he was better.

But, no matter how sleepy he got, he told himself he wouldn’t have any caffeine. He was going to make himself sleep that night on his own without a futon.

Midnight came again, and it was quiet. There was no music coming through the wall, and the silence was deafening. It didn’t matter where he slept, but the fact that Seungyoun wasn’t inside making his beautiful music just would not stand. What was he doing? Was he okay?

Wooseok got up and went to Seungyoun’s door. It felt wrong to barge in, but when he lifted his hand to knock, it felt even more wrong like he wasn’t supposed to be there. He lowered his hand and went back into his apartment.

He tossed and turned into Sunday, and by then, all the rest he got at his neighbor’s apartment had worn off. Everything was back to normal, but it had been too sweet. He missed it too much. It was going to be too hard to let go of.

Sunday he watched tv, did his laundry for the next week, and made himself not one but three bowls of cereal because that’s all the energy he had to make. At 2 p.m. he made his coffee, not in the mood to sleep all day. It was a taste he never learned to like, and he had been happier not drinking it.

By 10 p.m. he heard voices and his heart skipped a beat. He was certain he heard Seungyoun’s voice outside. He jumped up and practically sprinted to his door, but he needed an excuse to see him so he grabbed the garbage bag he was planning to take out on his way to work in the morning.

He opened the door, and it swung open much more aggressively than he had intended. He was right. Seungyoun was there with a bag slung over his shoulder, and his whole mood brightened, but Seungyoun wasn’t alone.

“Oh, hey,” Wooseok tried to look casual. “I was just taking out my trash. I didn’t know you would be here.”

“At 10 at night?” Seungyoun asked, a single brow raised.

“Yeah,” Wooseok said, blinking.

“Ah, well if you want to come over, we’ll be in here,” Seungyoun said, and Wooseok felt like it was a party he wasn’t invited to. Seungwoo gave him a polite nod and headed inside, leaving the two of them alone.

“That’s okay,” he said. “I wouldn’t want to impose.”

He turned and left down the hall before Seungyoun could see how stupid he felt.

“Wooseok?” Seungyoun called out, but he pretended not to hear.

It was midnight, and Wooseok could hear the bass through the wall except he could hear something else too. A sound that made his heart break.

At first he could hear them talking and laughing, and he could hear how relaxed Seungyoun was compared to when he was there. The other two talked a lot , and then midnight came and the song he loved so much played, but there was someone else’s voice.

Wooseok put his pillow over his ears to drown out the sound of what could have only been a hookup occurring on the other side of his bedroom wall. He never once thought to ask Seungyoun if he had a boyfriend, because why would he have? They were just neighbors. He was just letting Wooseok sleep on his couch.

The sound of the other boy’s cries made him sick to his stomach. He couldn’t pretend like it wasn’t happening, and it never seemed to stop happening. All he could do was get up and spend the night on the farthest end of his apartment and hope he could sleep for at least a little bit.

Monday went by in a haze. And then Monday night came, and Wooseok heard the song he loved so much play through his bedroom wall, and he thought that maybe it was enough for him to sleep. But he couldn’t. The sound of the familiar bass no longer made him happy, but instead left a dull ache in his chest. He didn’t want to hear it anymore.

And then it was Tuesday night, and the song played again, but it was the same. He hadn’t made any changes, and Wooseok guessed that he had finished. He wondered what it sounded like now, but it wasn’t his to listen to.

And then Wednesday came. He was making mistakes at work again, and he knew no one would believe him if he said he wasn’t faking it. A dozen doctors couldn’t write him enough excuses to explain why he was making so many mistakes.

On Wednesday night, the song played through the wall again. It was after midnight, and he could hear Seungyoun cutting it off abruptly and starting over. He wasn’t happy with his song. Someone should have been there to tell him it was good, but that wasn’t Wooseok’s place. They were just neighbors. He covered his head and waited until morning to take off the pillow.

Thursday came, and he still hadn’t slept for more than an hour at a time. He poured coffee all over the counter at work, and he was too dizzy to properly clean it up. Saturday he would call his doctor. He would let them put him on anything that could help. It didn’t matter anymore. He needed to sleep.

It was Thursday night, and Wooseok poured his sleeping tea. He put on his rain sounds, but the combination just made him have to pee. Midnight came, and he heard the music. He heard voices again, but it sounded like Seungyoun was by himself. His song was falling apart. Wooseok fell into his blankets and fought his own battles. He couldn’t fix it for him.

Friday came, and he worried he would get fired. But instead they sent him home. Go to the hospital. Don’t get anyone sick . But he wasn’t sick. Not really. It wasn’t anything he could give to someone else. It wasn’t anything he would ever want to give anyone else.

Midnight came, and the music played through his bedroom wall, but then it stopped. It stopped for a long time that time, and Wooseok wondered if he had given up. But then there was a knock on his door.

“Wooseok! It’s me!” A voice said, and Wooseok was sure he was hallucinating. “Open up!”

Wooseok stumbled to his door and opened it. If it was a hallucination, it would disappear as soon as he did.

But Seungyoun was there, and he looked pissed.

“What are you doing?” Seungyoun demanded. “Where have you been?”

“I was in bed,” Wooseok said, a little surprised.

“For the whole week?”

“Yeah,” he said weakly. “I was in bed the whole time.”

“You need to sleep,” Seungyoun said.

“I’m fine.”

“Look at you! You can barely stand up,” Seungyoun said, his voice cracking. “Come here.”

He dragged Wooseok out, but he wasn’t too strong. Wooseok’s feet just had a hard time keeping up. He looked angry, but the grip on his arm was soft and harmless. He was frantic, but Wooseok could have stopped him if he wanted to.

He ushered Wooseok into his apartment and sat him on the couch. “Good night.”

Wooseok tried to get up, but Seungyoun tossed the blanket on him. “ I said goodnight.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but Seungyoun plopped down in his work chair and huffed. Wooseok thought he should sit and wait for a little while before leaving.

But then it was Saturday morning. He opened his eyes, and he was alone in Seungyoun’s apartment — a place he didn’t feel like he belonged. He was covered up by a blanket that was too soft, and his head rested on a pillow that smelled like Seungyoun.

There was a note on the table, and a part of him felt too weak to read it.

Wooseok,

Sleep here.

Please…

Wooseok laid back down. He didn’t fold up his blanket or write a thank you note. He just went back to sleep, and he slept through the whole morning.

When he opened his eyes again, Seungyoun was at his computer. The room was dark except for the glow from a single monitor. He hadn’t turned on any of the neon lights in his apartment, and Wooseok thought it would be okay to lay there and watch him for a minute.

The screen flickered, and Wooseok wondered what he was watching. It didn’t look like a movie or a drama, and every so often, Seungyoun would pause what he was watching and write something down in his notebook without enough light to see.

Wooseok got up quietly and found the light switch. Seungyoun jumped.

“Oof! You scared me,” he said, clutching his chest.

“You’ll ruin your eyes if you do that,” Wooseok said.

“I didn’t want to wake you.”

“It’s your house.”

“So?”

“So, I shouldn’t be sleeping here in the first place,” Wooseok said.

Seungyoun frowned. “You didn’t come here all week. Were you able to sleep then?”

Wooseok kept his mouth shut. It felt wrong to lie to him. “You were gone last weekend, and then I realized me being here so much was weird.”

“I was at a workshop,” he sighed. “I thought I told you. I’m sorry.”

“Did that go well?” Wooseok asked, still standing at the light switch, ready to leave if he had to.

“Yeah, it did,” he said. “I got a lot done I couldn’t wait to show you, but…”

“But,” Wooseok nodded.

“But you never came back.”

Wooseok sighed. “I didn’t.”

“Why?”

Wooseok’s mouth twisted as he tried to find an explanation that didn’t make him sound like a jealous idiot. There was no reason for him to be jealous. Seungyoun could have any kind of friend or boyfriend he wanted. That wasn’t any of his business.

“Was it Seungwoo?” Seungyoun asked. “My friend who came by?”

Wooseok couldn’t say yes.

“I asked him to come by to record some guide vocals,” he said. “My tone is too high for it, and he belts really well.”

“It’s not—,” Wooseok started, knowing what he heard.

Seungyoun tapped his space bar, and the song played again except with a second voice. Wooseok winced. He had heard wrong and had terribly misunderstood. He heard Seungwoo’s ad libs and thought they were… Seungyoun tapped the space bar again, stopping the song. “You would have had a hard time sleeping through his noisy ass, but you could have come over… when you ran off I thought you were mad at me...”

“I’m sorry,” Wooseok said, feeling like an idiot.

“I don’t like it when you apologize for nothing you did wrong,” he said softly. “From now on, when you can’t sleep just come here. I can’t work if I’m worried about you.”

“You don’t have to worry about me.”

“You had shadows under your eyes so dark you could have won a raccoon impersonation contest, and you couldn't stand up without holding onto me or the door frame, but I’m not supposed to worry?”

“In my defense, I have been doing this for a long time,” Wooseok said calmly. “This has been my whole life.”

“And what if it doesn’t have to be?”

Wooseok thought about it, and he was right. If he was in the way, Seungyoun wouldn’t have dragged him there the night before. If the night ever came where he couldn’t sleep there, Seungyoun would tell him. Friends could be honest with each other. He nodded.

“You can stay all day if you want,” Seungyoun said. “But I’ve got some things to take care of today so I won’t be here until this evening.”

“Ah! Well, I have to take care of some things too,” he said. He didn’t, actually, but he needed to make himself look cool and not clingy at all.

“You know my door code,” Seungyoun smiled.

Wooseok decided that meant it was a good time to get out of there before he said or did something embarrassing.

That Saturday was terribly boring. All he did was wait for it to be over so he could go to Seungyoun’s and go to sleep. It was a really weird thing to anticipate, he thought, but he finally got it back and wasn’t letting it go again. But why had Seungyoun been so erratic? Was he having issues with his song? It didn’t make sense for him to be like that at all like he was mad at Wooseok for not sleeping on his couch.

It was 7 p.m., and Wooseok was bored. It was early, but what if he went over anyway? He could do that, right? He knew his door code, and Seungyoun expected him there anyway. He changed into his sleeping clothes just in case and headed over feeling giddy for some reason.

He punched in the 1004 code and the door beeped.

“Hello?” He called into the apartment.

“I’m here!” Seungyoun shouted back.

Wooseok let himself inside. Seungyoun’s normal apartment lights were on, and he was in the kitchen putting groceries away.

“It’s not neon,” Wooseok pointed out.

“I tried to give myself a break to trick my brain into creating better when those lights are on,” he said. “Are you hungry? I was just about to have dinner.”

“I’m fine,” Wooseok said, hoping his stomach wouldn’t growl and give him away.

“Hmm,” he said. “What’s your favorite food?”

“Chicken feet,” Wooseok blurted out.

“Chicken feet? Really?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, chicken feet it is,” he pulled out his phone. “Do you like other chicken parts?”

“I’m good with most chicken parts, yes,” Wooseok laughed.

“Good, let’s eat chicken and chicken feet for you only,” he said, sticking his tongue out. He ordered the food on an app on his phone and pulled out a couple of beers from his fridge. “Let’s do something normal tonight. You can stay up for a few hours right?”

“I’m not tired yet,” Wooseok said.

“You’re in your pajamas,” he pointed out.

Wooseok frowned earning a big cheesy smile from Seungyoun. “I’ll go change too so you won’t look goofy.”

“That’s not!” But Seungyoun ran off to his room, and Wooseok pouted all to himself.

He came back out in t-shirt that showed off tattoos Wooseok didn’t know he had and sweatpants. “Now we match.”

“Why are you like this,” he said.

“I am just trying to match,” Seungyoun said, pretending to be offended.

Wooseok covered his face and sighed. “Next time I’m showing up in a suit.”

“I don’t have a suit, so you’ll need to give me enough time to find one in advance,” Seungyoun said, popping the tab on his beer.

Wooseok took his and opened it, choosing to ignore him. He was being much more playful than usual, and he wondered if that’s because it was so early.

“So what normal things do you want to do,” Wooseok asked.

“Hmmm,” he thought for a minute. “It’s been so long since I had a normal person over that I forgot what people are supposed to do.”

“Are you saying I’m not normal,” Wooseok accused.

“That is exactly what I’m saying,” he said. “So tell me, does weird Wooseok prefer video games or Netflix?”

“What was that you were watching this morning?”

“Ahh, that,” Seungyoun said, embarrassed. “I was watching a tutorial. I couldn’t figure out how to do something with the music software I use.”

“Did you figure it out?”

“I will eventually…”

“Why don’t we work on that until the food comes?”

Seungyoun looked surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah, I can look up stuff for you while you work on the computer.”

It was a simple suggestion, but they surprisingly made a good team. Wooseok was actually quite helpful when he was awake, and Seungyoun worked a lot faster now that he didn’t have to keep stopping to look up tutorials. By the time the food arrived, they had figured out the problem he had spent all day on.

A knock came to the door, and Wooseok hopped up off of the couch. “I got it.”

“Hey! No!” Seungyoun called out, but he didn’t really bother stopping him.

Wooseok paid and brought the food in, and they ate together quietly. It was their first shared meal since they met for the first time doing laundry when Wooseok almost collapsed and Seungyoun was washing his clothes in his underwear. They had never once had breakfast or dinner together no matter how many times Wooseok accidentally slept over, but there they were eating chicken feet and other chicken parts quietly in Seungyoun’s apartment without any atmospheric lights or music. He would have lied if he said it didn’t make him anxious.

Seungyoun wasn’t looking at him either. Wooseok wondered if it meant he didn’t want him there, and his stomach churned. Maybe he should leave…

“Do you want something else?” Seungyoun asked. “Like something to drink or a snack?”

“I’m fine,” he said.

“Ah, you were staring at me, so I thought you might have wanted something.”

“Was I?” Wooseok laughed. “I must have been thinking.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“I guess that we’ve never eaten together before,” he admitted.

“We haven’t, right? That’s so strange. It feels like you’re always here.”

Wooseok cleared his throat, uncomfortable.

“I guess that means you don’t eat enough,” Seungyoun mused. “From now on stop by earlier so you can eat dinner here, and I’ll keep some breakfast food for you to grab before you leave for work.”

“You don’t think you’re doing too much?” Wooseok teased, but he felt guilty that Seungyoun was taking care of things that he didn’t have to.

He shook his head. “I like it. It makes me feel good.”

“Then let me bring some bananas or something,” Wooseok offered.

Seungyoun flashed him a sauce covered finger gun. “You got it.”

It was 10 p.m., and they had cleaned up the kitchen. Seungyoun’s music problem had been solved, but now they had to figure out what normal people were supposed to do. Neither one of them were tired enough to go to bed, but that probably felt too formal. He couldn’t imagine actually going to sleep on purpose.

“What do we do now?” Wooseok asked.

“I need a break from work after this week,” Seungyoun grimaced. “I think I’m going to have to start over from Monday, and I’m not ready to take that on yet. Do you like movies?”

“I love movies,” he said. He wondered quietly if he could have been part of the reason why Seungyoun was having trouble with his song, but that was ridiculous. “You have to pick though.”

“You’re making me?” Seungyoun teased.

“You said you wanted to take care of everything!”

“Hmmmm… then I’m going to pick something terrible. The worst movie you’ve ever seen! You’ll see!”

“I’m so scared,” Wooseok laughed.

But they were both fools. He never considered that all Seungyoun really had in his apartment was his studio. That the only furniture they could watch movies on was the big futon facing the computer monitors.

“You don’t have a tv?” Wooseok asked.

“Ahhh… no, I don’t,” Seungyoun said, looking apologetic. “I’m used to watching movies on the monitors while I work.”

Wooseok scratched his head and got an idea. “I’ll be right back.”

He ran out of Seungyoun’s apartment to his own before Seungyoun could ask him where he was going. He went to his bedroom and took his own television off of its stand. It was heavy and a little awkward to carry by himself, but he managed it. He was determined to do something.

He took his foot and kicked Seungyoun’s door, unable to reach the keypad.

“Who is it?” Seungyoun called out.

“Let me in before I drop this!”

“I’m sorry, sir, I’m not expecting a delivery today! Please come back tomorrow!”

“Seungyounah! Help!”

Seungyoun opened the door and grabbed the tv. “Oh it’s you! I couldn’t see you behind this big unnecessary screen!”

“You’re despicable,” Wooseok grumbled, rebalancing himself.

“Yes, yes, I know,” he said, taking the tv away. “Now what are we supposed to do with this?”

“We’re going to watch movies on it. What do you mean ‘what are we supposed to do with this’?”

“Yes, but how?”

“We could slide your coffee table back and set this on top of it? Oh but it might get scratched…”

“That’s okay,” Seungyoun said. “I got it when my friend moved.”

“Did you just take all of his stuff?”

“Perhaps,” he said. “Can you slide the table over? This is heavier than I thought it was.”

Wooseok cleared off the magazines from the table and slid it to where Seungyoun’s computer was. Together they carefully set the tv down so that they wouldn’t drop it and shatter the table, and one problem was taken care of.

“It’s a smart tv,” Wooseok said, proud of his very helpful television. “It has Netflix.”

“You sure you don’t want to pick the movie?”

“I’m sure! I’ll pick the next one!” He said, confident.

They sat together on the couch, and he realized they had never really been that close before. They had made physical contact before, sure, but it was only when Wooseok was about to fall over so that didn’t count. Wooseok hadn’t expected him to sit so close, but he felt like it would have been weird to slide away from him. He was obviously the only one who thought that it was uncomfortable at all. He pushed his back against the couch as the title came on the screen and hoped that he could get through a movie without dying from his own awkwardness.

And then it was morning. Wooseok was wrapped in a blanket that was too soft, and his whole body felt warm. He breathed in the pillow that smelled too much like Seungyoun and thought that that time it was terribly lumpy. It was almost bony in some places. In fact the whole couch felt off.

He slowly opened his eyes adjusting to the morning light and discovered that he hadn’t been sleeping on the couch at all. Well, it was the couch, but there was a big sleeping buffer between him and the couch who had no right to tease him for snoring.

Wooseok’s eyes darted around in a panic. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t sneak out like this? It was one thing when they slept in separate rooms, but how did he manage to fall asleep on his chest? He thought that if he was careful enough he could lift himself up without waking him and avoid any embarrassing conversations.

He carefully secured his hand against the cushion and pushed up, but two sleepy arms wrapped around him and pulled him back down. So Wooseok came to two conclusions. Either Seungyoun was a cuddly sleeper, or he was just pretending to be asleep, and one of those possibilities was terrifying.

Wooseok closed his eyes and thought that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if he just stayed there for a little while either way.

He drifted off to sleep, squeezing Seungyoun’s warm body. Whatever he did in his sleep, he could not be held accountable for. It was fair game. It was fine. It was fine.

A few hours later he woke to the sound of a sharp inhale from Seungyoun waking up. His eyes sprung open, and he pushed himself off of him, rubbing his eyes like he had only just woken up from a deep sleep and had absolutely no idea what was going on.

“Good morning,” Seungyoun said, rolling over to his side.

“Morning,” Wooseok said, watching him. “How did we?”

“You fell asleep on my shoulder right after the movie started,” he said, not opening his eyes, but his cheeks were pink.

“You didn’t move me off?”

He shook his head.

“Why?”

“I didn’t want to,” he said, his voice low and gravely. “Is that okay?”

“I think so,” Wooseok said.

“Good,” Seungyoun opened one of his eyes to look at Wooseok with. He flailed his free arm around until he found Wooseok’s and pulled him down to him and nuzzled sleepily into the back of Wooseok’s head. His warm breath melted his whole body.

Feeling bold like things couldn’t get any weirder, Wooseok found Seungyoun’s hand and folded their fingers together. Seungyoun started it. It was his fault that he had to hold his hand. He was surprised at how small his hands were compared to the rest of him that was so tall and broad. Wooseok’s fingers wrapped around his, and Seungyoun pulled him closer.

“Are we going to get up?” Wooseok said, his voice shaking.

“Not yet,” he mumbled into his neck. “Five more minutes”

“Okay,” he whispered.

He laid there wrapped in his arms, focused on his own breathing. It was quiet, and he was sure the person behind him was asleep.

“Seungyoun?”

“Hmm?” He said, barely awake.

“Just checking.”

His eyes grew heavy, and he was out again. But it wasn’t sudden like it had been whenever he fell asleep at Seungyoun’s before. It was peaceful and warm, and he could have stayed on that couch forever.

He woke again later in the morning, still held, to his relief. It hadn’t been a weird dream that he would have to pretend like he never had, but how would he deal with this reality? This unprecedented event that absolutely terrified him?

“You awake?” Seungyoun asked, startling him.

“Yeah, sorry, what time is it?”

Seungyoun squeezed him and made a stretching sound behind him. “I don’t know I can’t reach my phone.”

“Oh, whoops,” Wooseok moved to get up off of him, but he pulled him back.

“What do you think you’re doing,” he pretended to scold. “It’s Saturday. We don’t need to know what time it is.”

“You make a good argument,” Wooseok said, smiling. “What are we doing?”

“We’re staying here together.”

“Why?”

“Because I like you.”

“Mm,” Wooseok mumbled trying to sound calm, but his heart was racing and there was no way that Seungyoun couldn’t feel it against him.

“Is that okay?” Seungyoun asked.

Wooseok wiggled down and turned to face him, burying his face in his chest.

“I guess,” he said muffled.

Seungyoun kissed the top of his head. “Is this okay?”

Wooseok nodded, too embarrassed to say anything.

Seungyoun let out a sigh that sounded relieved, and Wooseok realized he was doing everything again. He may have been fine with that, but Wooseok wasn’t.

He reached up and threaded his fingers through Seungyoun’s hair. He tilted his head up and pulled Seungyoun’s down to him and kissed him.

“Is that okay?” He asked, and Seungyoun smiled against his mouth with a nod.

They did eventually get up. Wooseok slipped out to his own apartment to brush his teeth and wash his face. He came back, letting himself in of course, and Seungyoun was making breakfast but the smell was… interesting.

“I have a confession to make,” he said. He was glaring at two plates of food that looked like they had once been considered edible. His hair was standing up in all directions, and he looked like a wild animal had taken over his body. “I can’t cook.”

Wooseok snorted. “What did you try to make?”

“Eggs,” he said, sounding like he was going to cry.

“Is that what that’s supposed to be?” Wooseok examined the plate of brown curds that looked like chunks of shoe leather.

“Shut up!” He whined.

“Is this why you ordered last night?”

“Maybe…”

Wooseok sighed and started laughing. “Go relax or something. I’ll take care of it.”

Seungyoun frowned and slumped his shoulders, defeated by his own failure. Before he left Wooseok grabbed him and kissed him again, pressing him against the counter. Seungyoun let out a surprised sound, and Wooseok wondered if he had gotten carried away, but then Seungyoun’s arms went around him and pulled his closer.

He tasted like mint and something sweeter, and he wanted to keep kissing him until he figured out what it was. Seungyoun nibbled on his bottom lip, and he forgot what he was talking about. Wooseok let out a quiet little noise that earned a smile from the other who moved his kisses to his cheek and then down his neck where he eventually stopped to rest, holding on to Wooseok.

“We can order again if you want,” Seungyoun muttered into his neck before kissing it again.

“Nuh uh,” Wooseok pulled away. “I want you to see how amazing I am at making breakfast. And lunch. And dinner, if you want.”

Seungyoun smiled and nodded with enthusiasm. “You can just stay here.”

“Already?” Wooseok teased. “Isn’t that a little crazy?”

“Well you have to sleep here,” he considered. “For your health, of course. And if you can cook, you’ll need to feed me several times a day to thank me for finding such a fantastic solution to your sleeping problem. What are you leaving for?”

“Maybe I want to spend time in a place with more furniture,” he poked his chest.

“So, what your saying is, if you move, I get more furniture,” Seungyoun teased.

And that was how Wooseok found a way to sleep again, and Seungyoun finished furnishing his apartment without spending any money. It was a win/win, really. Now they just had a song to finish.

Chapter Text

Wooseok had slept over every night since they realized that was the only way he could rest, and then they had kissed like they wanted to be together too, but Seungyoun was feeling anxious about it.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want him there because truthfully speaking he didn’t want Wooseok to ever leave, but he wondered if he had pressured Wooseok into doing something he wasn’t ready for or wasn’t really interested in.

The problem was that the whole thing had been Seungyoun’s idea. It had been Seungyoun’s idea for Wooseok to sleep at his apartment in the first place. Seungyoun was the one who changed his door code to “angel” to make it easier for the other boy to remember because that’s what he reminded him of when he was sleeping. (Not so much when he was awake). Seungyoun had been on the couch with him when Wooseok had fallen asleep, and instead of getting up and going to bed like he should have, Seungyoun had pulled that very same sleeping angel into his arms. And when Wooseok had woken up, he had been the one to initiate the relationship. Even if Wooseok had kissed him, a part of him felt like it had been a huge mistake. Like Wooseok was just returning a favor he felt indebted for.

After that first day, there hadn’t been a great deal of contact between them. Seungyoun worked on his music alone, and Wooseok slept on his couch. Seungyoun had wanted to join him several times and hold his tiny warm body against his, but he felt like he wasn’t allowed. That wasn’t his to take a second time. He had to wait for Wooseok to return his feelings, but he was feeling impatient. It was his turn to feel restless.

He had tossed and turned alone in his bed for several nights fighting his own feelings that seemed determined to tear him apart. His heart was suffering. His mind was suffering. And most of all his work was suffering.

That’s why when he heard Wooseok in the hallway finally home from work that Friday afternoon and entering his own apartment to drop off his things and change his clothes, Seungyoun rushed over before he could have the chance to come by. Before Seungyoun had to swallow his fears again.

He wanted to rush in and wrap his arms around him and have all of his worries wash away, but he didn’t even know the door code. This was Wooseok’s space. There wasn’t a place for him there yet.

His chest became heavy as he stood in front of the door. The conversation they were about to have would probably kill him, but he couldn’t let his nerves go on like this. He would rather suffer from a broken heart than have his stomach fall to pieces from not knowing.

He took a breath and knocked.

Wooseok opened the door, beautiful as ever. He wasn’t tired and lifeless like he used to be. He was still in his work clothes, tie loose around his neck, and he had pulled his belt off already. His hair was messy and imperfect, and it made Seungyoun’s heart weak. Why does he have to look like this? What if I can’t say what I have to...

“Seungyoun,” Wooseok said surprised. His eyes were wide and curious, and his mouth was slightly parted. Perfect for kissing. Seungyoun shook himself. He couldn’t put it off anymore no matter how wonderful and disheveled he looked. “What are you doing here?”

“Giving you a way out,” Seungyoun said, his voice hoarse and heavy like he was holding back a scream that was dying to come out.

“A what?” He said, stepping back, putting a space between them that made him shiver.

“I realized that I may have pushed you into something you didn’t want,” Seungyoun said, unable to look up from a spot on the floor that surely looked like perfect triangle. “I want you to sleep over still because I care more about your health than I do my own feelings, but I don’t want to go the rest of my life knowing I forced you to be with me.”

“Forced me?” Wooseok said. He could have laughed, but he looked hurt. “Do you want out?”

“No, that’s not it,” he said, feeling like he could have puked onto the bad carpet in the hallway. He was dizzy, and the tears came faster than he was ready to block.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Wooseok grabbed him. “What’s going on? Do you not like me anymore?”

“No,” his lip quivered. “I like you a lot, but I don’t think you like me.”

Wooseok pulled him close and wrapped his arms around his neck. He was so much smaller than Seungyoun, but then he felt like he was the biggest person in the whole world. He was a giant cradling a weak puny human who didn’t deserve it. “Don’t cry. Where is this coming from?”

“This is the first time you’ve hugged me since that time we made breakfast together and you said my eggs looked like shoe leather,” he sobbed into his shoulder, realizing how pathetic he sounded but unable to stop it.

Wooseok let out a long sigh.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m still shy.”

Seungyoun tensed. “Do you still like me?”

He snorted and pulled back. “Do I have to say it?”

“It would be nice,” Seungyoun’s voice shook against tears that were ready to drown him.

“I like you a lot,” Wooseok said, looking off to the side. Not that he didn’t mean it, but he was still learning how to open up to this person who had all the sudden come into his life. “I’m just not sure how to be yet, you know? Only a couple of weeks ago I was finding excuses to go to you because I needed to sleep but also because I wanted to see you and spend time with you. And you opened your whole world up to me, and we kissed, and I’m still not sure what it means.”

Seungyoun frowned.

Wooseok took his hands in his and swung them lightly. “Get dressed.”

“Why?”

“You’re taking me on our first date.”

Seungyoun couldn’t believe himself. Of course. They hadn’t established a relationship yet, and he was already sorting out their inevitable breakup because why would Wooseok want to be with him?

“Can you be ready in an hour?” Wooseok asked.

“Yeah,” he sniffled and wiped away the tears that now made him feel like a blubbering idiot. “I’ll come pick you up.”

An hour later Seungyoun was in his best clothes. His nose was a treacherous shade of red, and he hoped that he wouldn’t give himself a reason to cry again because that had simultaneously been the most embarrassing and pathetic moment of his life.

He grabbed his keys and his wallet and walked over to his date’s apartment next door. He knocked, and he was hit with a sudden burst of nerves that made his knees buckle. Suddenly he was sweating all over like he was going through puberty again.

Wooseok opened the door looking polished and refined like a porcelain doll that Seungyoun wasn’t allowed to touch. It took his breath away.

Before he could speak his date walked up to him and gave him a single kiss on the lips that made his blood rush to his head all at once. Wooseok smiled against his mouth like he knew what he was doing. “You look nice.”

Seungyoun’s cheeks burned realizing Wooseok had only ever seen him in his pajamas or worse.

“Thank you,” he muttered. “You look…”

“Nice?” Wooseok offered.

Seungyoun shook his head. “Incredible.”

Wooseok smiled brightly, pleased with the compliment. He took his hand, but let Seungyoun lead the way.

“I didn’t have much time to plan a real date,” Seungyoun admitted. “It’s not that I didn’t want to eventually go somewhere with you, but wow I am an idiot.”

Wooseok laughed cheerfully if not still a little shy. “I didn’t ask you out either. It was both of us.”

He smiled at that. “You look too good to waste on dinner and a movie.”

“We can go anywhere,” he bumped into him on purpose as they walked down the complex hall hand in hand. “I’m happy with anything.”

Seungyoun hummed. He only had a few minutes to come up with a plan before they reached his car. He was going to drive his date somewhere nice for the first time. In his own car. With his date next to him.

“I didn’t know you had your own car,” Wooseok admired. “Wait, how can you afford a car and live by yourself? In the city? I know what your rent is.”

Seungyoun felt embarrassed. “Royalties. But I only let myself have my car and my apartment. The rest goes to my mom.”

“Oh,” Wooseok said, but he could tell he was impressed. “The songs you write really are amazing. I used to sometimes press my ear up against the wall to listen to them once you told me what they were.”

Seungyoun gave his hand a squeeze before separating to get into the car. “That means a lot coming from you.”

Wooseok shifted nervously in the seat next to him.

“Are you sure about this?” Seungyoun asked before driving off. “If you change your mind, I’ll pretend like we got dressed up to take instagram photos for each other’s pages.”

Wooseok rolled his head across the leather seat and raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to drive or do you want me to?”

Seungyoun smirked and shifted the car into reverse. If he thought he was going to let him near the driver’s seat, he was as delusional as he was pretty. He might have let him sit in it, but Wooseok belonged next to him where he couldn’t crash anything.

Wooseok had no idea where they were going. Seungyoun had said it was a secret, and even after Wooseok tried very shrudly to trick him into telling him, he wouldn’t budge. So for a while he stared longingly out the window watching the city go by as the sun set.

It gave him time to think.

He hadn’t known that Seungyoun was having doubts about them, and it made his heart heavy. He felt so many things towards him. Wooseok wasn’t just grateful, he was completely smitten. Seungyoun hadn’t pressured him into anything, but they were both clumsy about it. They both didn’t know how close they were allowed to be without pushing the other away. Wooseok was determined to make things better and more clear between them.

He was still too shy to reach across the console and touch him. He wanted to take his hand while he drove or just play with the back of his hair that hung just above his neck, but instead he balled his hands into tight fists, puncturing his palms with his own nails. He wanted to make things right, but he was still too scared.

They parked in a garage, and Seungyoun lead them back down to the street. Wooseok took his hand. That was something he was brave enough to do. He smiled down at him, and he knew that that was allowed. They could hold hands when they walked together.

He lead him to a cafe. The sign said it was an open mic night, and Wooseok wondered what kind of musicians would be there. This made sense for Seungyoun, but Wooseok wasn’t sure if he would fit in.

As they walked in, he noticed how full and warm the room was. Almost all of the tables were occupied by couples and listeners who hung onto every note, and he buzzed with nerves. It wasn’t the kind of place he had ever hung out before, and he wondered how he was supposed to act. Was he supposed to clap between songs? Did people sing along? What if he didn’t know the songs?

Seungyoun leaned down next to him to talk over the music. His lips brushed Wooseok’s ear sending a shiver down his spine. “Can you grab us a table? I’ll get us something to drink.”

Wooseok found a free table off to the side. They could still see the stage, but he was far enough away that if for some reason the artist felt like serenading an unlucky audience member, it most certainly wouldn’t be him.

Having nowhere to look but the stage and not being particularly fond of the singer, Wooseok’s eyes traveled to the counter where he tracked Seungyoun’s movements. He was being sneaky, and it made Wooseok uneasy. His eyes moved a few feet ahead and saw Seungwoo sitting at a table with a clipboard in front of him by himself. Wooseok frowned.

He knew that they weren’t sleeping together. He knew that he had mistaken Seungwoo’s ad libs for something else. He knew that his… neighbor? did not have a boyfriend, but Wooseok was still so jealous he could have dragged him out of there.

Seungwoo saw Seungyoun and waved brightly. Don’t look at him like that. He’s not yours to look at. Seungyoun returned the wave and skipped over. Wooseok’s heart sank. He looked so happy to see Seungwoo — not at all how he was when he came to his door only an hour or so before talking about forgetting they had ever kissed.

He watched Seungyoun lean down and talk to Seungwoo who nodded back to him. He gave him a thumbs up, and Seungyoun spun back around to pick up the two mugs waiting for him on the counter.

Soon he was sitting at the table with Wooseok pretending like nothing happened. Maybe it wasn’t Wooseok’s business to ask.

“I got us a couple of coffees,” he said. He was anxious, and his hands were shaking, and Wooseok wondered why. “Decaf, of course.”

“Thank you,” Wooseok accepted the mug, but that was all he could accept. “What were you talking to that Seungwoo guy about?”

Seungyoun’s face twisted. “You saw that?”

“Mhm,” Wooseok idly tapped his nails on the table like an irritated cat.

“It’s a secret,” he reached out and took Wooseok’s intimidating hand. “You trust me, right?”

Wooseok flushed and looked away. “I do. I just…”

He pulled Wooseok’s hand to his mouth and kissed the top of it sweetly. “Just a few more minutes.”

Wooseok pretended like the gesture didn’t complete make him forget what he was upset about. Instead, he enjoyed his decaf coffee and watched the singer on the stage sing her final verse, his face an annoying shade of red.

After the set was finished, Seungwoo walked up to the mic, and Wooseok prayed that he hadn’t only brought him there to listen to the older man sing.

“We have a special guest tonight,” Seungwoo said into the microphone. He introduced the singer’s many accomplishments, all of which Wooseok blocked out because he was too busy wondering where Seungyoun was sneaking off to without saying a word as if Wooseok wouldn’t notice, before he announced the name. “It’s his first time performing live so everyone please give him a round of applause. Give it up for Woodz!”

The erupting cheer tore Wooseok’s eyes away as he was brought back to the present. Seungyoun had disappeared, and he didn’t like it. He forced himself to look back at the stage and saw his date run up and greet Seungwoo who had just introduced the singer who wasn’t anywhere to be found.

Unless… No way….

Seungyoun adjusted the mic and sat himself on a stool.

“This is a song I wrote a year ago that I didn’t know I would want to sing myself until tonight,” he said to the crowd, and Wooseok’s heart raced. He practically jumped up in his chair to get a better view because he couldn’t believe his eyes or his ears.

A lazy melody played over a relaxing hip hop beat that sounded like wind and rain drops. Seungyoun closed his eyes and performed a song that Wooseok had never heard before. He mixed rap with singing, and it was the first time he had really heard his voice live and unedited. It was soft and clung to the back of Wooseok’s throat like honey, and his face was peaceful and and soft.

Wooseok’s ears buzzed, and his heart raced. The words were simple, but they pulled him towards the stage like he was chained to him.

It would have been easy for you to say goodbye

And now I know how it feels just to try

And love someone even if they couldn’t love me back

That’s why I would carry the world on my shoulders even if I lack

The mind, the heart, the body, the means

To see you the way you deserve to be seen

Tears gathered in Wooseok’s eyes, but he couldn’t tear them away. The song wasn’t about him, but it was for him that night. It was a special moment shared between the two of them across the sea of a crowd who for a few moments knew how it felt to love Seungyoun too.

He had so much beauty inside of him that the world couldn’t see, and Wooseok was in love with him even if he wasn’t ready to say so out loud.

The song ended, and Seungyoun bowed to the crowd. Everyone cheered enthusiastically — some demanding an encore — but none were quite as loud or as passionate as Wooseok.

He was standing and jumping up and down, not at all embarrassed. He didn’t care how silly he looked. That was his songwriter. His.

Seungyoun came up and smiled shily. “Well?”

Wooseok covered his face, overwhelmed. “That was amazing! I’m so proud of you!”

Seungyoun sat down and drank his coffee. Chugged it really. “Holy shit, that was terrifying.”

“You were nervous?” Wooseok asked, surprised.

“Hell yeah I was! I’ve never sang in front of anyone before in my life except for you when you’re unconscious, but even then!” He guzzled down the rest of his coffee. “Wow, I’m so glad I got to do this with you.”

“With me?” Wooseok was taken aback.

“Yep,” he wiped his mouth, and Wooseok noticed he was out of breath. “I couldn’t have gone up there if you weren’t here. You’re the only person who doesn’t make me feel embarrassed about my music.”

“But you’ve sold songs,” Wooseok said in disbelief. “What about Seungwoo?”

“That’s different,” he insisted. “Seungwoo has only ever heard the guide after I’ve mixed it, and my songs get chopped up into a million pieces once a label purchases them. Once they hit the radio, they’re not me anymore.”

“They’re on the radio?!”

Seungyoun flashed a smile. “You asked how I could afford my car and live by myself.”

“Holy shit.”

They sat together and drank their coffee for a while and listened to the other artists. Seungyoun was still buzzing from adrenaline, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of Wooseok. The coffee shop was dark during performances so he could barely make out the curves of the apples of his cheeks. He wanted to see them again when Wooseok smiled. He wanted to trace them with his fingertips.

“I think we should go to the next place, if you’re ready,” Seungyoun said.

Wooseok leaned towards him to avoid shouting over the music. “There’s more?”

“Of course,” Seungyoun said, stealing a kiss from Wooseok’s cheek that felt too wrong to leave untaken. “Let’s get out of here.”

They left the cafe, and Wooseok instinctively took his hand again. He was so small when he did that, and it made Seungyoun’s heart swell every time.

“So what’s next?”

“Would you rather go to the secret place first or dinner?”

“Dinner would be nice,” Wooseok said thoughtfully. “I haven’t eaten since my lunch break.”

Seungyoun scratched his head anxiously. “I didn’t have time to get a reservation anywhere fancy since we decided to be spontaneous.”

Wooseok bounced, encouraging him. “We don’t need to eat anywhere like that. Just somewhere delicious.”

“What did you have in mind?”

Wooseok smiled delightedly, and Seungyoun’s shoulders dropped. “No! Absolutely not!”

He stomped his foot. There was absolutely no way they were going there. He had had enough .

Moments later Seungyoun and Wooseok were seated before a platter of chicken feet coated in a bright red spicy sauce. Wooseok was the most happy about it, and Seungyoun was just happy that he was happy.

Wooseok dove in, and he watched him in half amazement and half disgust.

“You know, for someone so pretty, you have the strangest taste in food,” he said.

Wooseok smiled with sauce stained lips. “You think I’m pretty?”

“I think you’re perfect,” Seungyoun said. “Except for your bizarre diet.”

“You only don’t like chicken feet because you don’t know how to eat them,” Wooseok informed him. “Here, let me show you.”

Wooseok picked up a foot and began his demonstration. “See, you have to pop this joint thingy right here like this, and the meat slides right off.”

Seungyoun grabbed his own foot to try it, and with a snap, it practically fell off into his hands. “Oh. That worked. Oh yeah, that’s much better actually.”

Wooseok smiled, pleased with himself. Seungyoun would eat chicken feet at least twice a week if it made him that happy.

“Can I ask you a totally hypothetical question?” Seungyoun said as they ate Wooseok’s favorite food together and his guard was surely let down.

“Sure.”

“If you were in a relationship, would you prefer to call that person your boyfriend or your partner?”

Wooseok immediately stopped eating and looked at him like a startled cat. He was afraid if he made any sudden movements, Wooseok would have bolted out the door, but he answered anyway. “Boyfriend, I guess. I think partner would make me sound like a lawyer.”

“Hmm,” he thought allowed,

“What about you?”

“I think both,” he said. “I think that I want someone cute enough to call my boyfriend and enjoy how cheesy we are, but I want someone who could be my best friend too. My partner in crime.”

Wooseok nodded, unaware he was using a chicken foot as a baton. “I think I like yours better. I’m changing my answer.”

“You can’t!”

“Why not?”

“Because it makes you sound like a lawyer.”

And Wooseok almost got them kicked out of the restaurant the moment his chicken foot went flying in Seungyoun’s direction.

“You said you had one more place for us to see,” Wooseok said. He was still embarrassed that they had been politely asked to leave by a very stern older woman wielding kitchen tongs. Seungyoun, on the other hand, thought it was hilarious. The only reason they said that they hadn’t been kicked out, as Seungyoun explained to him as they walked down the street together, was that if they had been kicked out, she wouldn’t have asked.

Wooseok folded his arms across his chest. It was Seungyoun’s fault for saying he sounded like a lawyer.

“It’s too far to walk so let’s go find the car,” Seungyoun suggested.

Wooseok didn’t answer him as he was too busy cringing inside from all the shrieking that resulted from one rogue chicken foot.

After climbing to the top of the parking garage, they finally found Seungyoun’s car. Wooseok didn’t know anything about cars, but it looked expensive now that he thought about it. Songwriting must have paid well.

“Hey,” he said, taking Wooseok’s reluctant hand. He lead Wooseok to the side of the car and pinned him to it out of the blue. Wooseok’s heart raced out of control.

“What are you doing,” he asked, his voice shaking. He licked his lips in anticipation although he pretended not to know what could possibly come next when one was pinned against anything.

“Which one would I be,” Seungyoun whispered against his mouth.

Wooseok closed his eyes and let his body collapse against the side of the car, drunk on him. He tasted sweet, and the scent of him so close was something he wished he could bottle and keep forever.

“Which what would you be?”

“If we were together, would I be your boyfriend or your partner?”

“Both,” Wooseok stuttered.

He felt Seungyoun smile. “ Cho and Kim, Attorneys at Law.”

Wooseok raised his fist and weakly hit him in the chest, and Seungyoun responded by yelping playfully. “Ow!”

“Serves you right, jerk,” Wooseok said, bitterly, turning to get into the car. “Now you don’t get to be either.”

Seungyoun grabbed his arm and pulled him around kissing him for real that time. No teasing. No gentle touch of soft lips together that left him wanting more. He had to grab onto him to keep from falling over, and he loved every minute of it.

“Both,” Wooseok said, breathless. “You can be both.”

“Only if you want me to be,” he pulled away and gave his swollen lips a gentle peck, satisfied.

Wooseok grabbed him and pulled him back. “What do you want to be?”

“Yours.”

On their way to the next place, Wooseok was squirming in his seat for different reasons. He didn’t understand why they couldn’t just park the car somewhere dark and private for the rest of their date, but Seungyoun had insisted that they complete the whole event before the evening was finished.

So Wooseok spent the rest of the ride measuring the back seat of the car in his mind and comparing them to the width of Seungyoun’s shoulders. Wooseok had a newly developed thing for cars that he was more than eager to test out.

Before he could lose his mind he reached out to take Seungyoun’s free hand. Their fingers intertwined, and he felt the fire burning in himself transform into something warm and safe. Something he could control.

They were quiet, and he wondered what the other was thinking. But then he remembered how scared and vulnerable Seungyoun was at his door and thought that he might still be having doubts.

“What are you thinking about?” Wooseok asked, and he felt his grip loosen for just a moment as if Seungyoun wanted to let go and retreat within himself. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want.”

Seungyoun shook his head. “I’m just focused on driving.”

“Where are you taking us?”

“The mu– ayeeee,” he smiled. “You almost caught me.”

“I have to keep you on your toes,” Wooseok said, but deep down he was worried. He needed to find the right time to ask him what they both wanted him to. Wooseok had to be the one to take that step.

The last secret place, as it turned out, was a museum with a massive collection of stained glass from all around the world. Wooseok had never seen anything like it before.

As he looked around in amazement, his body clung to Seungyoun who didn’t seem to mind one bit. In fact he was paying more attention to Wooseok than he was the artwork.

“Wow! It’s so beautiful,” Wooseok said in awe. The light fixtures were positioned in such a way that the floor was covered in pools of magenta, teal, and gold. Together they made a rainbow that told the story of thousands of pieces of colored glass. “It feels like I’m in church.”

“Does it?” Seungyoun looked around.

Wooseok led them to the next room where the pieces were smaller and inspired whispers.

“Something about this place makes me want to give a confession,” Wooseok admitted quietly.

“Is something on your mind?”

“I think something’s on yours,” he said. Seungyoun frowned sadly and turned away. “Wait.”

“I know I’m being too much…”

“ Wait,” Wooseok interrupted him.

Seungyoun closed his mouth waiting to hear something horrible, and it made him terribly sad.

Wooseok took his hands in his and used his firmest, quietest voice. “Cho Seungyoun.”

He blinked, startled at hearing his own full name.

Wooseok took a breath, overcome with nerves. “I want to be your boyfriend, and your partner, and your best friend, and the person who listens to all of your music first.”

Seungyoun closed his eyes tightly, fighting back a wave of pain. “You don’t have to do this...”

Wooseok stepped forward just close enough for him to hear his confession. “I’m so in love with you that I can’t stand it, and if you plan on rejecting me I would like to go home now while I still have time to wave down a taxi. My dignity is on the line here.”

Seungyoun wrapped his arms around him, not worried about being seen, and Wooseok let himself be held by the giant who was so terribly lonely that he couldn’t see how loved he was.

“Are you sure?” He whispered.

“Yes,” Wooseok insisted. “This is what I want more than anything.”

“You can still sleep at my apartment even if we’re not dating,” he said, but he tightened his grasp.

“If we’re not dating by the time I let go, I’m moving to Siberia,” Wooseok grumbled, and Seungyoun pulled him closer, crushing his tiny frame.

“Okay,” he said. “But if you think I’m ever letting you go, you chose the wrong person.”

Wooseok looked up at him and smiled. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

After Wooseok’s little confession they were both sloppy and embarrassing, and Seungyoun couldn’t have been happier. They had enough time to see all of the different displays of stained glass the museum had to offer before it closed, but if anyone ever asked him to describe any of it, he would have spent the whole time talking about Wooseok’s best features. He wanted to cover his windows with pictures of him to make his own stained glass masterpiece.

Wooseok clung to him the way he had craved, but it wasn’t forced or required. It was like he genuinely didn’t want to stop touching Seungyoun in some way or another️, and it made his head spin. Is this real? Am I dreaming? Is this what Wooseok’s dreams are like?

But it was real.

Wooseok was too tall to be a figment of his imagination. Not that he would ever describe him as tall exactly, but the Wooseok in his dreams was more pocket sized.

The night was coming to an end, and Seungyoun knew it was close to Wooseok’s new bedtime. He wouldn’t dare give him a single reason to stay up when he didn’t have to so they ended their date with the museum and a slow, drawn out walk back to the car.

As he drove them back their building, he felt the tickle of Wooseok gentle hand stroking his neck and ears lovingly and was devastated that he couldn’t close his eyes and enjoy it. He reached up take Wooseok’s hand and held it for the rest of the drive so that he couldn’t accidentally kill them both.

Another reason he was so giddy was that Wooseok had insisted on listening to every single song that he had ever worked on, and he made sure that Seungyoun (and whoever happened to be unlucky enough to sit in the car next to theirs) knew exactly when he heard a song that he recognized.

“Who knew I had a musical genius living next door to me this whole time!” Wooseok exclaimed. “Wow! This is so cool!”

“Thank you,” he said shyly, not used to this at all.

Wooseok smiled warmly. “I can’t wait to hear more of your music.”

And Seungyoun’s heart stopped.

His mind buzzed with so many thoughts and feelings that he couldn’t process them all. What could he say? What could he do? If he opened his mouth, all Wooseok would be able to hear was his incoherent babbling, and that wouldn’t do. He felt like he had lost his last brain cell, but he was so happy that it didn’t matter anymore.

They made it back safely, and he lead Wooseok to his apartment.

‍”I guess this is goodnight then,” Seungyoun said, bidding him farewell. “I had fun on our date.”

Wooseok looked at him in surprise. “You’re not coming in?”

“Nope,” he said, leaning down to kiss him goodbye. “I’m a gentleman.”

Wooseok’s eyes darted around as he processed this. “Wait, I can still sleep over, right?”

“Of course!” He smiled brightly. “How are you supposed to sleep anywhere else?”

He ushered a very confused and flustered Wooseok into his apartment with a last goodnight. He smiled to himself and walked to his own apartment to change into his night clothes and wash the gel out of his hair.

He came out of the shower and Wooseok was already there on his couch with two glasses of wine on the coffee table.

“You have wine?” He asked.

“Part of my old sleep remedies,” Wooseok explained. He was in an oversized t-shirt Seungyoun swore was in his clean laundry pile he had yet to fold and red tartan pajama bottoms. He had washed off the bit of shadow and lip tint he wore on their date and was back to the same Wooseok Seungyoun was most familiar with. He was stunning. “You just going to stand there?”

“Sorry,” Seungyoun laughed. He sat next to him on the couch feeling too bashful for someone inside of his own home. They cheered and took a sip. It was a bitter red that clung to his tongue and tingled his nose.

Wooseok broke into a smile. “You don’t like it?”

“Somehow, I don’t know if red wine mixes well with coffee and chicken feet,” he teased.

“Fine,” Wooseok sat his glass down with a pout. “What do you think tastes better?”

Seungyoun felt a mischievous grin manifest itself on his face, and Wooseok’s cheeks burned. He leaned over and kissed his flushed face. “I have a few ideas.”

“Oh?” Wooseok tried to sound coy, but his quivering voice gave him away.

“Mhm,” he said, kissing him down his neck. Wooseok let out a heavy sigh that meant he liked it, and he didn’t feel at all sorry for the marks he was about to leave behind on his perfect glass-like body. He stopped where the loose collar hung around the other boy’s shoulders and gave the small amount of bare skin a gentle kiss. “All better.”

Wooseok let out a weak laugh, but something about him changed. The reserved, soft neighbor who couldn’t sleep became devilish and unyielding. He climbed on top of him and kissed him hungrily. Seungyoun’s fingers wound up in his soft hair, pulling him closer. He let out a moan, and Seungyoun couldn’t take it anymore.

He put Wooseok on his back on the couch and crawled on top of him, grinding their bodies together where it mattered. Wooseok’s nails dug into his back, but he loved the pain. Every nerve in his body was alive, and he wanted to feel everything.

His own shirt came off first. That was Wooseok’s doing. He ran his hands all over his torso while Seungyoun kissed him. Then Wooseok’s shirt came off next ready to be covered in little purple love bites.

He kissed him down to the waistband and stopped, moving back to Wooseok’s mouth as he remembered something important.

“Hey,” he said, breathless and overcome.

“Hmm? Wooseok asked, wrapping his legs around him.

“Earlier you said,” he said, stopping to kiss him. “That you’re in love with me.”

“Yeah,” Wooseok gasped into his mouth. “What about it?”

“Did you mean it?”

“Of course I meant it,” he said.

Seungyoun pushed himself off of him and off the couch. Wooseok’s face paled and he hid himself away.

“Oh my god, I ruined it,” Wooseok said.

Without saying anything, Seungyoun took his hands and pulled him up with him. He kissed him softly in a way he couldn’t say with words and lead both of them back to his bedroom where he could do whatever he wanted with him.

Soon they were naked and covered in sweat under aqua and magenta lights on a black bedspread. The sound of their breaths and desperate moans mixed well with the music that played off of his portable speaker. The smaller of the two buried his face into the crook of his neck to muffle his cries as he shook against him.

He had been careful with Wooseok, afraid he might break him with his own hands if he held him the wrong way, but Wooseok had other ideas.

There was nothing fragile about Wooseok, and once he took control, Seungyoun realized he wasn’t getting it back.

They made it last as long as they could, taking turns ravishing and exploring each other with their fingertips and mouths. Seungyoun’s entire body was covered in tiny scratches and bruises that rivaled the ones he left on Wooseok.

Their relationship had begun with an awkward push and pull with the other not knowing what he was allowed to give or what he was allowed to take, but that had completely faded away. Each had given the other permission to give and to take whatever he wanted.

It was 2 a.m., and Seungyoun couldn’t sleep. His whole body tingled with traces of Wooseok clinging onto him like tiny beautiful tattoos.

Wooseok was asleep in his arms, naked and perfect. He loved him so much, he wanted to give him the world, but he was happy he could give him this. Sleep. It was what Wooseok needed most in the world, and it was only something he found with him. In return, Seungyoun had a muse with the face of an angel who not only loved him but was proud of him. He couldn’t ask for anything more.

“Baby,” He said quietly, knowing nothing in the world could wake Wooseok once he was out for the night.

Wooseok’s head lifted up in surprise. He was sleepy and adorable and a little out of it. “What did you just call me?”

“I was just trying it out,” he mused.

“Say it again.”

“Baby,” Seungyoun said quietly, giving Wooseok a kiss on the forehead.

Wooseok, pleased with his new name, snuggled back onto Seungyoun’s chest.

“Can I ask you something?” He asked, hoping Wooseok was too out of it to get mad.

“Mhm.”

“What’s your door code?”

“Your birthday,” Wooseok’s sleepy, low voice said as he fought off the slumber that pulled him back down.

“Really? Since when?” He asked in disbelief.

“I don’t know,” he said as he got himself comfortable again. “Maybe a week ago?”

Seungyoun stared at the ceiling furious with himself. He had been so insecure and sensitive that he hadn’t realized that Wooseok had made a place for him in his space too. But if they hadn’t gone on their first date with each other, they would have never gotten to where they were then. He wouldn’t have a lightly snoring angel on his chest, and he would have instead spent the night pacing around his apartment with his stomach in knots while Wooseok slept undisturbed on the couch.

He pulled the blanket over them to make sure Wooseok was properly covered up and whispered a soft I love you to his sleepless neighbor, his boyfriend, his partner, his best friend, and the person to listen to all of his music before finally falling asleep with his heart at peace.