Chapter Text
4:20 pm
all women are queens created the group garreg mach homiesexuals
all women are queens: hey sexies
dilf fucker: ???
uwu ^-^: uh… hi?
ronald mcdonald: sylvain, what is this?
edgelord: and why are these our nicknames?
let’s do it baby i know the law: i hope you all like the nicknames we spent a long time making them up for all of you
ronald mcdonald: ah, i should’ve known you were involved in this as well, claude
let’s do it baby i know the law: what the hell is that supposed to mean
if she breathes she’s a thot: who put this as my nickname. i demand to have it changed immediately.
let’s do it baby i know the law: no can do buddy
all women are queens: come on lorenz we’re matching
if she breathes she’s a thot: respectfully, sylvain… you’re the last person i want to match with.
all women are queens: wow fuck you too
all women are queens: now i’m definitely not changing it
girl hot: no fighting!! this isn’t why we made this chat!!
edgelord: ah, so you were a part of this too, dorothea?
girl hot: yess i thought it was a great idea so we can all get to know each other better!! <3
sewing machine: ohhhh that sounds nice but im kinda nervous ;;;;
girl hot: aw don’t be bernie!! i’m here to take care of you <33
be crime do gay: I am liking the sound of this idea!
love is stored in the dedue: Agreed. It is one of Sylvain’s better ideas.
let’s do it baby i know the law: wow it wasn’t all sylvain you know
Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way: I’m not fond of it. I have no reason to get to know any of you.
Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way: Except for Lady Edelgard, of course.
girl hot: hubie :( don’t be so negative!!
stream lover: GREAT idea i love this
Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way: Of course you do.
stream lover: what does that mean
Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way: Nothing.
stream lover: 🤨
Read 5:55 pm: why am i here? i have no desire to talk to 90% of you.
all women are queens: aw am i part of that 10% felix? ;)
Read 5:55 pm: no.
all women are queens: :(
five foot something and i’m royalty: OOF rejected
world hard and cold. tiddy soft and warm: woah guys
world hard and cold. tiddy soft and warm: no need to be so harsh
watch naruto: yeah!! let’s all be friends!!
lawful good: Let’s listen to Annie and be nice to each other, everyone ! 💖
all women are queens: no fighting shakira shakira
be crime do gay: I am having a thought that Annette’s idea is good! Friendship is what Dorothea’s intention is!
girl hot: that’s right petra <3
tired horse girl: oh.. uhm yeah, please no fighting ;; it makes me nervous
world hard and cold. tiddy soft and warm: y’all heard her no one is allowed to fight ever again
tired horse girl: oh! thank you for agreeing hilda
world hard and cold. tiddy soft and warm: np babe!!
girl hot: so!! how was everyone’s day!!
be crime do gay: I am always having great days with Edelgard and Dorothea!
girl hot: <33
sewing machine: ummmm i didn’t do much today ;; but it was nice…
vegan anti: Oh hey! Whered this group come from?? I just got back from training lol :)
world hard and cold. tiddy soft and warm: of course you did
world hard and cold. tiddy soft and warm: i didn’t do anything today it’s been wonderful
dilf fucker: uh hilda… i thought you didn’t show up to class because you had a doctor’s appointment?
world hard and cold. tiddy soft and warm: oops haha yeah i mean i did nothing AFTER the doctor’s appointment :)
dilf fucker: ...sure
all women are queens: i was sexy as usual today ;)
Read 5:55pm: doubtful.
all women are queens: ouch…
five foot something and i’m royalty: rejected AGAIN
gay rights in the soup: it’s been great, thanks for asking dorothea! i just finished up some cooking
five foot something and i’m royalty: oh hey me too
gay rights in the soup: nice! what’d you make, caspar?
five foot something and i’m royalty: nothing special i just microwaved some mayo
gay rights in the soup: what the fuck
taylor swift: …………………………………….
taylor swift: you what now????
be crime do gay: I am not having understanding… Is microwaving the mayonnaise common in this country?
five foot something and i’m royalty: yes
girl hot: absolutely not honey caspar has just lost his mind
five foot something and i’m royalty: u guys are so quick to hate it actually tastes good
Read 5:55 pm: what the fuck. no it doesn’t.
all women are queens: let the man speak i think he’s onto something here
let’s do it baby i know the law: tbh i think it’s innovative
sewing machine: ummmmm
sewing machine: that doesn’t sound nice :(
edgelord: it sounds awful. caspar, please stop attempting to ‘cook’, for the good of your health
girl hot: ^^^^^ pls
five foot something and i’m royalty: linhardt was asleep!!!! what was i supposed to do
lawful good: Oh! That is certainly a very interesting meal, Caspar
love is stored in the dedue: No, it’s a disgrace to the delicate art of cooking. Caspar should be punished for this.
five foot something and i’m royalty: wtf bro it was just some mayo
love is stored in the dedue: I said what I said.
all women are queens: GUYS
all women are queens: I SAID NO FIGHTING
dilf fucker: alright, this is starting to get out of hand. i’m adding professor byleth to keep an eye on all of you
let’s do it baby i know the law: wtf you can’t just do that
dilf fucker added Byleth Eisner to the group
dilf fucker: woops too late!
Byleth Eisner: ?
midget: LEONIE
dilf fucker: :)
Byleth Eisner: Can someone explain what this is?
all women are queens: i’d be honored to ;)
Byleth Eisner: ...Someone else?
five foot something and i’m royalty: LMSDHSJDSK HARSH
all women are queens: ngl that hurt a little
edgelord: I’ll explain.
edgelord: Sylvain created this group chat with Dorothea and Claude, in order for everyone to get to know each other better. Unfortunately, the chat turned chaotic quickly, which led to Leonie adding you in the hopes that you would keep the peace.
Byleth Eisner: I see. Thank you, Edelgard.
all women are queens: i could’ve said that but like. way less wordy
taylor swift: stfu sylvain
gay rights in the soup: professor!! i hope u don’t mind being part of this gc
Byleth Eisner: I don’t mind! Don’t worry :)
let’s do it baby i know the law: alright but if teach is gonna be here she needs a cool nickname like the rest of us
midget: ‘cool’
let’s do it baby i know the law: awwwwwwww is the baby upset because of her nickname? :(
midget: i’m NOT a baby. don’t speak to me
world hard and cold. tiddy soft and warm: SDFKSDF someone’s cranky
midget: .
let’s do it baby i know the law: anyway
let’s do it baby i know the law changed Byleth Eisner ’s nickname to Man I Love Fishing
all women are queens: LSDKFJHSDJFSDF
Man I Love Fishing: I do love fishing :)
Man I Love Fishing: Anyway, I must be off. Try not to cause too much chaos while I’m not here to watch over you.
let’s do it baby i know the law: you got it teach!
edgelord: I’ll do my best to make sure they behave, professor.
Man I Love Fishing: Also, Leonie, I must say I don’t like the sound of your nickname. Please see me after class tomorrow
dilf fucker: WAIT NO ITS SYLVAIN’S FAULT
all women are queens: why do you automatically assume it’s me????
taylor swift: how could one not automatically assume it’s you
dilf fucker: PROFESSOR PLEASE
Man I Love Fishing is offline
dilf fucker: i hate all of you
10:32 pm
i’m baby: uh
i’m baby: would someone like to explain why i just woke up to over 100 notifications?