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“I fucking hate you,” Jihoon says in lieu of an actual greeting as Soonyoung joins him in his usual study room. “You know that, right? I’m not just saying it to say it; I really mean it.”
He reaches over to make space, piling his study materials in a haphazard pile in front of him, and scowls. “And not, like, an affectionate way either. You’re actually the worst, and I wish we’d never met.”
It says a lot about just how fucking bizarre the day’s been that Soonyoung doesn’t respond to the jab like he normally would. Instead of protesting, he just nods resignedly, looking pained.
“Yeah, I know.” He hands Jihoon the sub sandwich he brought with him as a peace offering. “Here, lunch.”
Jihoon makes an appreciative noise and takes it, tearing into the paper wrapping with a surprising amount of fervor. “So, remind me again why you’re here again? I know it’s not about class. You hate studying with me.”
Soonyoung groans and scrubs the palm of his head against his face. “Fuck, dude, I need help.”
Jihoon rolls his eyes. “Yeah, no, I got that part.” He takes a particularly aggressive bite out of the sandwich, and a small shower of lettuce falls down on the table. “I just don’t know what you’re freaking out about. Did something happen with Junhui?”
“Erm–,” Soonyoung makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat at the mention of his boyfriend’s name and flushes, his cheeks turning a very interesting shade of red. “Yeah, I guess you can say that.”
Jihoon’s brow furrows, and he stops mid-chew to squint at him suspiciously. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He’s been friends with Soonyoung for as long as he can remember, and he doesn’t think he’s ever seen Soonyoung act like this before. As a general rule, Soonyoung doesn’t really do self-conscious. That’s not the kind of person he is. He’s a natural performer, the type who thrives off attention and making other people laugh. He’s loud and boisterous and absolutely shameless, always the first to crack the worst jokes and the first to make the worst puns, no matter how bad they are.
Needless to say, Soonyoung has always been unapologetically himself, so to see him so flustered and uncertain is very…uncharacteristic to say the least.
“Yah, Kwon Soonyoung!” Jihoon snaps once it’s become abundantly clear that the only way the conversation is going to continue is if he forces it. “Are you even paying attention to me? What happened with Junie?”
“I, uh…Junie, he um–“
Jihoon patiently continues eating his lunch as Soonyoung flounders, visibly scrambling to find the words to convey just what the hell’s going on and why he’s so worked up over it. He’s almost done when Soonyoung finally speaks up.
“Junhuiwantstohaveathreesome!” he blurts out.
Jihoon’s brain grinds to a screeching halt as soon as the words leave Soonyoung’s mouth, and he distantly hears someone choking. It takes him a second to realize that someone is him.
Jihoon regrets everything.
“What the fuck,” he wheezes, eyes watering as he coughs violently around the piece of bread currently lodged in his throat. “What the fuck.”
He blindly gropes around the table for his drink, almost knocking over his precarious tower of papers and textbooks in the process. Soonyoung does nothing to help him.
“That’s what I said!” he continues, like Jihoon’s agreeing with him and not, like, actively suffocating to death beside him. “Like what the hell, Jun? Where’d that come from?”
Jihoon ignores him, frantically fumbling around the tabletop until he finds his water bottle. He fumbles with the cap for a second, but once it’s off, he takes a big swig of the stuff. It helps. Jihoon pounds on his chest a couple of time until he can finally breathe again, and he slumps bonelessly in his seat as he recovers his breath.
“–it’s just a lot to think about, you know. Like obviously, I really love him and I want to do whatever makes him happy, but a threesome? I don’t know if I’m, like, emotionally prepared for th–“
“Hey, Soonyoung?” Jihoon interjects hoarsely. “Not to invalidate your feelings or anything, but can you shut up for a second? Your fucking sandwich almost killed me, and I need a minute to process.”
Soonyoung blinks. “Huh,” he says slowly, tilting his head to side. “When did that happen?”
Jihoon just barely manages to stop himself from taking Soonyoung out right then and there, but it’s a near thing.
“So,” Jihoon says, hours later once he’s finally calmed down enough to look at Soonyoung without feeling the incessant urge to deck him.
“So,” echoes Soonyoung miserably.
After Jihoon’s near-death experience, he’d sent Soonyoung away with strict instructions to not talk to him, text him, or even think about Jihoon for the next couple of hours. Now, they’re at Jihoon’s apartment, sitting opposite of each other on the ugly brown couch Jihoon’s roommates found on the side of the road.
“A threesome?”
“A threesome.”
Uncomfortable silence falls over the room, and Jihoon grimaces. What does he even say to that? It’s not every day that your best friend tells you that his boyfriend wants to have a threesome, and even if that was somehow a regular occurrence in Jihoon’s life, he’s the last person anyone should go to for advice, romantic or otherwise.
“Did Junie have anyone specific in mind?” asks Jihoon. He regrets it immediately. “Like someone you know?”
Soonyoung makes a sound like he’s dying and sinks lower into the couch, “…Yeah.”
“Do I know them?”
There’s another lapse of silence before Soonyoung nods.
Suddenly, things get much more interesting. Before he knows it, Jihoon has his phone in hand, scrolling through Junhui’s friends on Instagram.
“Is it Myungho?” he says.
Soonyoung grimaces, “Ew, no, Hoonie. Don’t be gross. Myungho’s like Jun’s brother.”
“What about Mingyu?”
“Nu-uh.”
“Seokmin?”
“I think the fuck not!” squawks Soonyoung, smacking Jihoon’s shoulder. “Seokmin’s like my brother! Think older!”
“Older than Seok? So, like, Seungcheol or Josh?” Jihoon gasps. “Oh my god, is it Jeonghan?”
“No, no, and hell no.”
Well, shit, that’s basically everyone Jihoon knows. His brow furrows as he wracks his brain for the names of Junhui’s other friends. He doesn’t know most of them, only the ones from the dance club, but come to think of it, Junhui has been spending an awful lot of time with them lately…
“Is it Hoseok?”
“Which one–big Hoseok or little Hoseok?”
Jihoon scoffs, “Big Hoseok, obviously. Junie’s been thirsting after him and his twink boyfriend for longer than you’ve been dating him.” He tilts his head to the side thoughtfully, “I’m pretty sure he accidentally called them both five course meals to their faces once. He’s definitely done it to Hyungwon-hyung.”
Soonyoung does something indescribable with his face. Jihoon watches with fascination as his expression shifts from indignation to contemplation to just flat-out acceptance.
“You know what?” Soonyoung says after a moment. “I’m not even upset; he’s right, and he should say it.” He sighs. “I wish it was a Hoseok–either one would have been better than who Junhui actually suggested.”
“You say that, but I doubt whoever Junie suggested is worse than actually getting murdered by Yoongi-hyung,” Jihoon snorts. “Can’t you just tell me already? Junhui has like a million friends, and I know like maybe ten of them.”
Soonyoung groans. “Okay, fine, but you have to promise you won’t tell him or Jun.” He looks at Jihoon sternly. “Seriously, I mean it. Not a fucking word.”
Jihoon makes an ambiguous hand gesture that vaguely looks like he’s crossing his heart. “Yeah, yeah, just tell me.”
“It’s Wonwoo.”
Jihoon bursts out laughing before he can stop himself. “Wait, shit, really? You got me all worked up over nothing because Junhui wants to fuck Wonwoo? Seriously?”
“What’s wrong with Wonwoo?” he frowns, sounding a little defensive despite what literally just came out of his mouth.
“Nothing!” Jihoon gasps out in between giggles. “I should have known it was Wonwoo. That makes way more sense that all my other guesses.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing!” he repeats. “It’s just that you three have always had this, like, will-they-won’t-they thing going on, y’know?”
“What.”
“It’s not a bad thing! Just a ‘this could really go any direction’ kind of thing. Like I wouldn’t have been surprised if you’d ended up with Wonwoo, or if Junhui and Wonwoo dated. You’re always flirting with each other and stuff–“
Soonyoung buries his face in his hands, “Jihoon, shut up.”
“–I’m really just surprised you’ve never noticed–“
“Jihoon!”