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"Jisoo, I need your help."
"I've told you not to call me that," Joshua said lazily, barely affording the effort to look sidewards toward Jeonghan, who was keeled over and very pale. "What happened to you, man?"
"It's Hana," Jeonghan panted. His breathing was ragged, as if he had just run a half marathon. "She has a date."
"Oh cool, congrats." Joshua refocused his eyes on the TV screen.
"No," Jeonghan wheezed. "This is not congrats, Joshua. My sister - my baby sister -"
"Shh." Joshua leaned forward, staring intently as Yaoyorozu Momo pulled a cannon out of her breasts. "My Hero Academia is on."
"Jisoo, my poor baby sister is in danger -"
"Shhhhhh," Joshua hissed, ignoring Jeonghan, who fell to the ground dramatically with shaking knees. "Who's the guy?"
"Slime, scum of the earth, family ruiner -"
"Do you know him?"
"I'll know him when I'm done with him," Jeonghan screeched, his voice catching as he slammed his fist onto the ground.
Looking visibly dismayed as Momo closed the chest flaps of her superhero outfit and the screen went to commercial, Joshua finally turned to observe his friend, who was writhing on the floor in some kind of invisible, but clearly very dire, agony.
"You know, when Sofia started dating that guy, Vernon was really chill about it," he finally let out, mouth twitching with amusement. "You could really take a page out of his book."
"This boy is different," Jeonghan insisted. His eyes narrowed. "This boy has impure intentions with Hana, I know it -"
"You sound," Joshua said as he popped a handful of Cool Ranch Doritos into his mouth, "Actually insane."
He chewed loudly as he watched Jeonghan haphazardly make his way across the living room on his hands and knees. As the older boy neared him, Joshua held up the party-sized chip bag between them - partly as a makeshift offering to the groveling creature in front of him, but mostly in self-defense.
"Help me, Jisoo." Hands clasped tightly together as if in prayer, Jeonghan was practically begging at this point. "I need you to help me."
Joshua lowered the Doritos bag cautiously. "Help you with what, exactly?"
"Stop them from dating. Keep him away from Hana. Save my sister. Shua, this is for the sake of the children -"
"Hana is sixteen." Joshua dug a finger into the back of his mouth, trying to unlodge a piece of chip stuck between his teeth. "She'll be of legal age in three years."
"And in three years I'll resign myself to that fate, but in the meantime, you have to help me," Jeonghan pleaded.
Satisfied that he had wedged the chip out of his back molars, Joshua took a swig from his liter-sized bottle of Mountain Dew. "If I do, will you buy me fried chicken?"
"I'll treat you to barbeque," Jeonghan offered desperately.
Joshua paused for a moment, feeling powerful over the endless possibilities of foods he could choose for Jeonghan to treat him. "Barbeque for dinner, and then chicken and beer for a midnight snack. But I don't want any of the other members to join us, because last time Soonyoung got caught sneaking out chicken in Minghao's man-purse."
"Deal." They shook hands firmly, each pleased to have settled in what they believed was their favor. Joshua's hand was still sticky with Cool Ranch residue and traces of saliva.
"Why me?" Joshua couldn't help but ask as they loitered outside Hana's high school, waiting for her to be done with class for the day. "Why not Mingyu?"
Hands in his pockets, Jeonghan turned to look at him, eyes round with astonishment. "Why in the world would I choose Mingyu over you?"
"As flattered as I am, Jeonghan, he's obviously much stronger than me."
Jeonghan shook his head and smiled at the ground. "Physical force is not going to win us any battles." He chuckled mirthlessly. "Plus, we'd be a huge liability for the company if we actually did any fighting."
"I guess that also explains why you didn't ask Jihoon, but what about Chan?" Joshua pressed. "He's closer in age to Hana, and he's the only one of us who actually has a girlfriend. So he'd be able to understand the situation better." He nodded, satisfied with his analysis.
Jeonghan looked at his friend sagely. "I chose you because you are just like me."
"Oh my god, never say that again."
"You are just like me," Jeonghan repeated. "Perfect and gentle and sweet on the outside, but a complete batshit clusterfuck mess on the inside."
"My image." Joshua put his hand on his heart, feigning offense.
"We have the day off," Jeonghan returned.
"You said this guy is a fan, though," Joshua said. "He likes Seventeen, and presumably we want to keep it that way." He ignored Jeonghan's exaggerated sigh. "Oh - who's his favorite member?"
"He likes Seungkwan," Jeonghan snarled.
"That's nice, I like Seungkwan too-"
"He wants to date my sister and he doesn't even have the manners to say that I'm his favorite member of Seventeen?" Jeonghan scoffed. "He has no sense at all, the idiot."
"Now, now," Joshua said mildly. "We'll be back in Japan in a few weeks if you’re that starved for attention."
"It's not the attention," Jeonghan said, his voice strained. "It's the intention. The principle. If he truly loves my sister, shouldn't he love me the most out of all our members?"
"Calm down, man." Joshua rolled his eyes. "They're sixteen. They're just getting to know each other. No one's talking about love for like, another five years or something."
"Not love?" Jeonghan's skin flushed a deep fuschia, reminding Joshua of the time three months ago when he’d gone out drinking to come back violently sick. He had projectile vomited throughout the dorm, spraying half-digested kimbap onto the walls and ruining Wonwoo's "Famous Kittens Throughout History" poster. Jeonghan's face matched the shade that Wonwoo's had been when he had woken up in the middle of the night to witness the whole scene, a mush of kimchi and seaweed still dribbling from Joshua's mouth onto his brand-new Popstar Ahri mousepad.
"Of course not love," he retorted, somewhat petulantly. "The date hasn't even happened yet. How could they possibly love each other already?"
"Any boy who wants to date Hana needs to love her at least as much as I do," Jeonghan said furiously. "He needs to see how special she is, and love her, and treat her like a-"
"You have clearly never dated anyone before," Joshua interrupted his diatribe.
"Neither have you!"
"Hey! I’ve gotten every single UR Maki card that has ever been released on Love Live," he said defensively. "That counts for something."
"It counts for your dumb luck," Jeonghan muttered.
Joshua ignored the comment as the school bell rang. It was followed a few seconds later by a rush of high schoolers, yelling and running and eager to leave campus. “Look at these youths,” he said benevolently, as if dispensing some kind of profound wisdom.
“Yes,” Jeonghan nodded in agreement.
They scanned the crowd for Hana and found her a few minutes later, a thin, medium-height girl with side-swept bangs and a bouncy ponytail, her uniform still crisp and tidy after a full day of classes. She was walking with a boy several inches taller than her, with thick-rimmed glasses and shiny black hair. His posture was less than ideal, slightly hunched over from the weight of his backpack. He reminded Joshua vaguely of Shinpachi from Gintama, which he thought of bringing up before he felt Jeonghan’s excitement over seeing his sister become a noticeably bitter sullenness.
“Look at him, following her around like that,” Jeonghan seethed through clenched teeth. “She doesn’t even have room to breathe, my poor sister.”
“He’s like, at least two feet away from her,” Joshua observed. “And she’s smiling.”
“She’s smiling for me,” Jeonghan emphasized. “She’s happy knowing that her big brother is going to come rescue her from that ogre-”
“Stop it.” Joshua slipped his hands into his jean pockets, where he found the crackling plastic of an old Chocopie wrapper from a few weeks ago. It was sticky from the remains of melted chocolate and marshmallow, so he removed his hands from his pockets and settled on crossing his arms instead. “Be nice, okay? They see us.”
“Don’t wave,” Jeonghan warned. “It’s our day off; I don’t want anyone to recognize us.”
“Wasn’t planning on it, bro.”
"Hi, oppa," Hana called out as she approached them, waving cheerfully. She picked up her pace, and Jeonghan's countenance melted into a smile, only to waver into a scowl again when Shinpachi also started walking more quickly toward them. "Hi, oppa. Hi, Joshua," she beamed, stopping in front of them.
"Hi there," Jeonghan gently tugged on her ponytail, eyes alight with affection. "How was school today?"
"It was alright," Hana nodded enthusiastically. "I got the second-highest grade in the class on our history quiz."
"Did you hear that?" Jeonghan cocked his head toward Joshua, grinning maniacally with pride. "My sister got the second-highest grade in the class on their history quiz."
"Yes, I can hear," Joshua replied. "Nice job, Hana."
"Thanks," she smiled back at him.
"I have the day off today, so I came to pick you up from school," Jeonghan explained.
"Mom and Dad told me. But um, oppa...," she hesitated.
"Yes?"
"Um, I - I'm actually going to a cafe right now." Hana nodded emphatically, as if to reaffirm what she had just announced. "With Jinho!" She gestured to the boy next to her, who was looking at Joshua and Jeonghan with wide eyes.
"Ah - hello, Jeonghan-hyung, hello, Joshua-hyung!" the boy said, a little too loudly out of nervousness. "I'm Jinho, Hana's classmate!" He bowed, bending nearly ninety degrees at the waist. "I'm so happy to meet you!"
"Hi, Jinho," Joshua said kindly, a smile tugging at the edge of his lips. Shinpachi - er, Jinho - looked ridiculous bobbing up and down and bowing like that. "You don't have to bow, but keep it down - we have the day off today." He pointed at his face mask and pulled his black baseball cap low over his face.
"Oh - of course, I'm so sorry," Jinho apologized immediately in hushed tones as Jeonghan narrowed his eyes. "I'll be more careful."
"I hope so," Jeonghan muttered. If looks could indeed kill, Jinho would have been reduced to roadkill by now, but as they lacked the capacity to actually maim, Jeonghan would have to settle for being a less powerful asshole.
"So, Jinho," he continued after a moment of awkward silence. "Hana said you're her classmate?"
"Yes!" Jinho nodded so fiercely Joshua was afraid his head would fly off. "We've been in the same class since middle school."
"So chances are that you probably didn't score as high as she did on the history quiz?" Jeonghan pressed.
"Oppa!" Hana hissed, gently hitting his arm in protest.
Jinho laughed, an embarrassed and anxious sound. He clearly didn't find the situation funny at all. "Ah ha ha ha - you're right, I didn't score as high as Hana did. I only got the fourth highest grade in the class."
"What a disappointment," Jeonghan said dismissively.
"But I did get the highest grade on the last quiz!" he interjected hopefully.
"Oh, okay." Jeonghan's tone was quiet and mocking, and he ignored Joshua surreptitiously kicking him in the ankle, a silent command to shut up. "So you think you're better than my sister, then?"
"What - no - I didn't mean -"
"Oppa," Hana interrupted loudly, and Joshua was taken aback by how similar she looked to her brother when she was angry. "Oppa, stop being mean. Jinho is my friend and we're going to the waffle cafe now. You don't have to walk me home today. Jinho will take me home after; I told Mom and Dad already."
Jeonghan was silent for a moment, and Joshua was afraid that he might throw something. Once, Soonyoung and Mingyu had binge-eaten twenty-four chocolate chip cookies together while watching a dessert mukbang on Jeonghan's bed for three and a half hours. When Jeonghan had returned from his filming schedule to find his safe space a deluge of crumbs and chocolate smears, he had ended up grabbing the nearest thing in his rage and hurling it against the wall. Unfortunately, the closest item had been Jun's plate of twelve hot dogs, raw and ready to be roasted on a brand-new mini grill. Wonwoo ended up having to take a sobbing Junhui out to Costco for a second bulk hot dog run while Seungcheol called an emergency team meeting on the importance of respecting other people's spaces and using words rather than violence.
To Joshua's great relief, there appeared to be nothing substantial in the area that Jeonghan could throw anyway - the benches and fence posts were all bolted to the ground. "Waffles sound nice," he said airily, hoping to clear the tension. "I could go for waffles right now."
Jeonghan turned his head to smile at Joshua. "Jisoo, you're right," he said, baring his teeth as the most alarming, carnivorous smile spread across his face. "Waffles sound great right now. Why don't we," he looked at Jinho, who shriveled in fear, "Go for some waffles right now too, Jisoo?"
"Um - we decided on barbecue and -"
"But I'm hungry for waffles right now," Jeonghan insisted. "Jisoo, why don't we go get some waffles? My treat."
Joshua realized what Jeonghan was doing. He just hoped that he would still buy him barbecue and fried chicken at the end of the day, but Jeonghan wasn't one to not keep his word. "Ah - yeah - waffles sound good -"
"Oppa." Hana crossed her arms, upset. "I'm going to get waffles with Jinho, not you -"
"And I," Jeonghan responded haughtily, "Am going to get waffles with Jisoo, not you."
"I don't mind getting waffles with everyone-"
"Be quiet, Jinho," Hana hissed as she grabbed the boy's arm and whirled away from her brother. "Come on. Let’s go to the waffle cafe."
They walked away, Hana practically dragging a starstruck Jinho behind her. Jeonghan turned to Joshua and latched onto his arm. “Come on, Jisoo,” he mimicked his sister as they started walking. “Let’s go to the waffle cafe.”
Joshua laughed, pretending to yank his arm away. “Get your hands off me, bro.”
Jeonghan dragged his fork through a cloud of whipped cream. "Look at them," he said through gritted teeth.
He was glaring at Hana and Jinho, who sat three tables away laughing together over their shared waffle, a green tea and chocolate concoction piled high with ice cream and cubes of castella cake. Two matcha Pocky sticks intercrossed at the top of the dessert pile, reminding Joshua of the katana that Konoha Anbu often carried on their backs.
"Look at them what?" he asked, focused on how large a spoonful of rocky road ice cream he could fit in his mouth. I bet Vernon could fit even more ice cream in his mouth, he thought enviously.
"Look at them flirting," Jeonghan growled. "So disgusting. So unseemly. I can't believe that my baby sister-"
"They seem okay," said Joshua as a drop of chocolate syrup fell onto the crotch of his pants. He licked his thumb and tried to rub out the dark brown spot, but it had absorbed too quickly into his light blue ripped Levi’s, and his efforts only made the splotch sprawl out larger than its initial circumference.
"They are not okay." Jeonghan mashed at his strawberries and cream waffle impatiently, and didn't seem to notice when a nearly perfect sphere of pink ice cream rolled off the apex of his waffle onto the tabletop next to his plate. "I'm so angry at this behavior. I can't believe my parents are okay with this. Clearly they've become too lax in their parenting since work got really busy for me."
Taking advantage of how distracted Jeonghan was, Joshua picked up the fallen ball of strawberry ice cream and plopped it whole into his mouth. He was immediately overcome with regret when an unforgiving tide of brainfreeze washed over him. “You need to calm down,” he gargled, trying very hard to keep his mouth open so as to relieve it from its subzero temperature while making sure no ice cream drooled out.
“What does she see in him anyway?” Jeonghan grumbled, taking a bite of his waffle. Joshua glanced at him nervously, but he didn’t seem to register the missing scoop of ice cream at all.
“He seems nice,” he replied honestly.
"What a huge compliment." Jeonghan rolled his eyes.
"He's polite, too. And he has to be pretty smart if he's getting the top grade in their class."
"Some of the top grades," Jeonghan corrected him quickly. "And only occasionally. He's not as smart as Hana. I can tell by his face."
"Maybe not," Joshua shrugged. He licked the back of his spoon, not realizing that a film of chocolate had formed around the perimeter of his mouth. "But would you rather her date someone stupid?"
"Someone stupidly in love with her." Jeonghan leaned back in his chair and sighed.
"Can I give you some advice?"
"You?" Jeonghan chortled, a little more unkindly than he'd intended. "Sure. Advise me."
"Girls don't like boys who are super in love with them." Joshua dabbed at his mouth with a napkin, but it was useless against the sticky ring of chocolate that had now dried onto his face.
"And you know this based on-"
"Naruto - like, pre-Shippuden," he nodded wisely, "Sakura never paid any attention to Naruto when he was super obsessed with her."
"Um," Jeonghan tapped his fingers against the side of his plate impatiently. "Are you really referencing anime right now?"
Joshua wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his white Commes des Garcon shirt, which came away dark brown with chocolate. Suddenly remembering that he had borrowed the shirt from Minghao, he soberly lowered his arm and instead flicked his tongue out toward the side of his mouth in an attempt to lick the chocolate off his face. "It's a real thing. It happened in Fate Ultimate Blade Works too. Rin Tohsaka - you know the red shirt girl that Wonwoo has on a body pillow?" He paused, looking at Jeonghan expectantly.
"The, uh, the one with all the tails?"
"No, the smaller body pillow."
"Oh, that one." Jeonghan crumpled up his paper napkin absent-mindedly.
"Yeah, her. She didn't pay any attention to Shiro who had been throwing himself at her for like, the entire school year."
Jeonghan was quiet, trying to decide if he regretted bringing Joshua along. Still, it was light years better than the alternative. Seungcheol was the only other member who had been free, and just the idea of being subjected to yet another one of his grandpa lectures about the unyielding passage of time made Jeonghan wince even more than the reality of waiting out one of Joshua’s unintelligible anime tirades.
"Girls don't like it if you are too into them," Joshua concluded, his tongue now perusing out the other side of his mouth. "They like the chase. Or something."
"Amazing," Jeonghan said, the sarcasm all too obvious in his voice. "I can't believe I brought with me the valedictorian on the study of women."
“You know what they say about me,” Joshua replied with confidence, having successfully replaced the chocolate around his mouth with his own saliva.
“What?”
“Kawaii in the streets,” he proclaimed loudly, “Sempai in the sheets.”
Jeonghan gagged on his waffle.
"It works the opposite way too," Joshua continued matter-of-factly. "Guys don't like it when girls are super into them."
"Do you have anime evidence to back that up too?"
"Dude," Joshua said, "So much. Um, for example, in Mirai Nikki? We see Yuno Gasai chasing down-"
"Oh my god, forget that I asked." Jeonghan pushed his plate away sullenly.
Joshua sat up eagerly. "If you're not going to eat that -"
Jeonghan sighed. "Go ahead."
Feeling very pleased, Joshua pulled the plate toward him and picked up a spoonful of waffle, which had now been macerated into sorry soggy chunks from Jeonghan's not so passive-aggressive death smashing. "I guess you didn't feel like waffles after all," he said, shaking his head.
"I feel weird," Jeonghan responded after a moment’s silence. "My younger sister is growing up, but I don't really get to see it happen because I'm always working,"
For the first time since their food had arrived, Joshua stopped eating.
"And now she's going to replace me," he continued, "With some boyfriend who won't love her even a fraction as much as I love her."
Joshua put his spoon down and looked at the older boy curiously. "Bro," he said, "Hana could not replace you with some boy in her class."
"We're watching it happen live right now." Jeonghan gestured stone-faced toward where his sister was sitting.
"For starters, you're way more good looking -"
Jeonghan flashed Joshua his most brilliant smile. "Hey, thanks, Jis-"
"When you wear makeup, I mean."
Jeonghan blinked.
They watched as Hana pulled out a pair of earphones and handed one of the earbuds to Jinho. The two high schoolers leaned in towards each other so as to watch something on her phone.
"What if he breaks her heart," Jeonghan said, pained. The words came out more like a statement than a question.
"If she's anything like you," Joshua quipped, "Then she's going to be the one breaking his heart."
Jeonghan shook his head. "Hana wouldn't do that to anybody. She's too kind."
Remembering the gallon jug of coconut jelly packets she had gifted him last Christmas, Joshua nodded in agreement. "You're right, Hana's not like you. She is kind."
Jeonghan ignored the blatant insult. "I don't know what to do."
"There's nothing to do."
"I'm not just going to stand and watch as my sister-"
"As she what? Grows up like a normal teenage girl?" Joshua raised his eyebrows as he spooned the last of the ice cream, now a sticky melted soup, into his mouth. "You didn't get to grow up like a normal person because you're an idol, bro. You didn't get to go on waffle cafe dates, unless you count that time you went to the limited One Piece pop-up cafe with Seokmin and not with me -"
"Oh my god, you are never going to let that go, are you?"
Joshua licked his spoon clean and placed it down gently on the empty plate in front of him. "What I'm saying is, you didn't get to grow up like a normal teenager. Which is fine," he added quickly. "You chose this life. But don't, like. Take that away from Hana. Just because you didn’t get to have it."
He paused and stared at his plate. Then, after a moment, “This is what she wants.”
A heavy, comfortable silence settled around them. Jeonghan turned away from his sister to look - really look - at his friend. Joshua could be pretty stupid, as stupid as he was pretty. Yet somehow, he always knew how to make Jeonghan feel exposed, more than a brightly lit center stage surrounded by thousands of screaming fans ever could. Joshua knew how to stop him in his tracks, hit him where it hurt. It was why they got along so well, after all, and after so many years of spending way too much time together, Jeonghan still didn’t know how to live with or without him.
He exhaled heavily, not realizing that he had been holding his breath the whole time. "I just want her to never get hurt."
"You can't protect her from everything," Joshua replied, licking the crevices between his fingers to get rid of the chocolate residue that had somehow deposited there.
"But -"
"There's some things that are just inevitable, you know?" Joshua looked up, just a second too late to catch the crumpled-up napkin Jeonghan threw at him. "You can't control everything. Like how Seokmin will always keep ordering Yu-Gi-Oh cards from sketchy third party sites. Or how Mingyu will always wake us up by vacuuming at 3 AM. Or how Soonyoung will always clog the toilet. This is one of those things that's out of your control."
Jeonghan was more than a little peeved to hear the delicate matters of his little sister's heart compared to Soonyoung's torpedo shits, but he held his tongue. "So I can't do anything, is what you're saying."
"I think you're doing great as it is," Joshua said, eyes kind. "You're there for her through it all, and I think that's what matters the most."
Jeonghan watched in silence as Joshua bit at his thumbnail. Ahead of them, Hana let out a loud giggle and playfully batted at Jinho's shoulder.
Frowning slightly, Jeonghan stood up. He carefully stacked their dirty plates and picked them up. "I'm tired of waffles," he announced. "Lets go for a walk."
Joshua scrambled to put on his coat. "But what about -"
"You didn't think I would forget about barbecue and fried chicken, did you, Jisoo?" Jeonghan teased as he walked to the counter to return their dirty dishes.
He drew his card out of his wallet and handed it to the clearly star-struck cashier. “J-j-just the chocolate waffle and the strawberries and cream waffle sundae, w-will that be all for today?” she managed to stutter out.
“Actually,” Jeonghan drummed tidy fingernails on the counter. “Can you put that table’s bill on my card too?” He nodded towards where Hana and Jinho were sitting, oblivious and caught up in conversation together.
“Y-yes, the green tea waffle sundae, of course.”
“Thanks.” He looked over at Joshua, expressionless.
Taking his card and receipt back from the cashier, he walked over towards his sister and cleared his throat. The high schoolers looked up immediately, startled by the interruption.
“We’re heading out.” He felt his hands clench and relax and clench and relax again in the pocket of his peacoat. “Joshua is hungry, and I promised to buy him dinner.”
“Okay,” Hana started, but Jeonghan interrupted her quickly.
“Jinho, will you walk Hana back home?” He ran a hand through his hair, mulling over his next words carefully. “It’s a bit far, and I don’t want her walking around alone once the sun starts going down.” He gave Jinho a wide smile.
It was a smile Joshua recognized well - the disingenuous, beautiful smile Jeonghan used for fansites crowding cameras into his face at airports, or at Hi-Touch when he was jet-lagged and so exhausted he could barely keep it together. His real smile was a lot less handsome - it stretched to his eyes, equal parts mischievous and maniacal, and showed all his teeth. This smile right now was as fake as it was charismatic and charming, but it still never failed to make Joshua feel better because he knew it meant that Jeonghan was trying his hardest.
Jinho stood up eagerly, the chair dragging across the concrete floor with a horrific screech. “Y-yes, hyung! Of course - I’ll make sure she gets home safely!”
“I’ll hold you to that, Jinho.” He was still smiling as he nodded and turned towards the door, gesturing for Joshua to leave with him. “Hana, I’ll call you soon.”
“I’ll call you first, oppa,” he heard his sister call out as he stepped into the breezy afternoon.
The setting sun sent glittering amber rays cascading down the length of the Han river. Feeling the windchill permeate through his thin jacket, Joshua hunched his shoulders and dug his hands deeper into the pockets of his jeans, now irreversibly stained with chocolate. "That was a nice thing you did back there." He picked up his pace so as to keep up with Jeonghan, who was walking much more quickly than normal.
"Don't lie," Jeonghan chortled, his voice unexpectedly brusque. He didn’t slow down or turn around to look at Joshua. "You know I don't do nice things."
Joshua thought of the time when they were trainees and he had accidentally sat on Jihoon's freshly-microwaved chicken pot pie. Jeonghan had immediately offered to switch pants with him, helping him hide the evidence of his miscalculated ass placement, and when a livid guitar-wielding Jihoon had come in vengeance for his pie, Jeonghan had taken the blame and forked out his own meager allowance to buy a replacement pie.
"Okay," Joshua said simply.
Jeonghan walked faster. His hair, limp and dry from overbleaching, fluffed messily in the wind to reveal a slightly receding hairline.
"Besides," he said, a small, satisfied smile settling at the corners of his mouth. "It's not a date if he doesn't pay for it, right?"
"I hope you don't get a girlfriend for a super long time," Joshua said sincerely between bites of fried chicken.
"What the fuck," Jeonghan laughed. His face flushed prettily, pink from too much soju.
"You're so possessive," Joshua continued. "Hana. Chan. Minghao. And don't think we didn't hear you screaming your head off that one time Vernon went out with Wheein." He tossed a chewed-up chicken bone onto Jeonghan's plate.
"That was a long time ago," Jeonghan protested. "I've mellowed out a lot since then."
"Yeah," Joshua echoed, "So mellow."
Jeonghan threw back another shot of soju and clapped his teammate on the back heartily. "What about you, Jisoo?" he drawled. "When are you gonna get a girlfriend?"
Joshua looked at Jeonghan seriously. "Not for a while," he said. "I'm not into 3D girls at the moment."
"I beg your-"
"I'm preoccupied right now," he explained. He whipped out his iPhone X to show off his new lockscreen, which was a picture of some anime woman with long purple hair and the most obscenely large breasts Jeonghan had ever seen. "This is my current waifu."
"Oh my God," Jeonghan groaned. He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his eyes, accidentally spreading chicken grease across his face. "Oh my God, Jisoo, you are so embarrassing."
"Big Mama Raikou is the complete package,” Joshua protested, clearly offended. “She’s got the face. She’s got the body. She’s an older woman. And she’s a gold Lancer-class SR summer limited servant. Checks all my boxes." He popped a cube of pickled radish into his mouth.
"Joshua Hong, please go on some dates with some actual human people. I'm begging you." Jeonghan eyed the half-full soju bottle appraisingly.
"Well," Joshua cocked his head to the side, looking at Jeonghan scrutinizingly. "We're on a date right now, aren't we?"
Jeonghan found himself clutching the soju bottle as if his life depended on it, like his heart would jump out of his chest and into the bucket of garlic fried chicken they were sharing if he wasn't careful. "Are we, now?"
"You asked me out. We're eating together. You're paying. And I'm going home with you after. All of this," Joshua gestured at the table with a half-eaten chicken wing, "Constitutes as a date."
Jeonghan looked at the younger boy, who continued to gnaw his chicken wing. Joshua chewed slowly, quietly spitting out a pellet of bones onto the side of his plate. Even with his face and shirt slick with chicken grease, he looked dainty and perfect and elven, the dingy restaurant lamplight bouncing off his cheekbones in a soft golden highlight.
He let go of the soju bottle. Jeonghan treasured all his members, but being with Joshua felt as natural as breathing. If they ended up sitting together like this in the fried chicken shop forever - well, there were a lot worse ways to live.
Joshua was looking at him expectantly, those ever-smiling eyes round and hopeful and waiting.
"You're right," Jeonghan agreed, exhaling. "We're on a date." He ruffled Joshua's hair affectionately.
Joshua beamed, then belched loudly. "Oh - can I order another beer? I'm out."
"Whatever you want, Jisoo."
I could never find the right way to tell you
Have you noticed I've been gone?
'Cause I left behind the home that you made me
But I will carry it along.
- Shelter, Porter Robinson and Madeon