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English
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Published:
2019-09-01
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Hagrid's Hog Roast

Summary:

Hagrid insists on roasting a hog for Harry and Ginny's wedding. After giving the entire Weasley family, Harry, and Hermione food poisoning the previous Christmas, they aren't very confident in his abilities as a chef...

Notes:

I wrote this cute little thing after three glasses of wine. I hope you all find it as adorable as I do!

Work Text:

“Almos’ done! Yer gonna love it!”

The crisp September breeze blew the smell of charcoal and barbequed meat in through the window as Hagrid hollered to Ginny and Harry. They sat anxiously in Hagrid’s oversized dining chairs, sipping their tea in absolute silence as they waited for the half-giant to finish his cooking.  Harry leaned over to Ginny and whispered in her ear.

“Are you as nervous as I am?” he asked.

“As nervous as you are?” Ginny snorted incredulously “Nervous to let Hagrid cater our wedding? Of course, I’m nervous! No— actually, I’m bloody pissed off you didn’t tell him we already had our dinner plans set! We’re getting married in three weeks— did he really think we would've not had that planned already?”

Harry and Ginny had settled on an early autumn wedding, September 27th. They wanted a casual, outdoor event at the Burrow, hoping that the orange, red and yellow leaves of the Weasley’s alder trees would serve as a pleasant backdrop. Hagrid was ecstatic at the idea of an outdoor wedding and insisted a barbeque was only proper.

“He was so excited at the thought of roasting a hog,” Harry groaned “I couldn’t say no when he wanted to give us a trial run…”

“Yes, you could’ve,” she snapped “What if we all get sick? Do you remember Christmas dinner?”

Hagrid made Dragon steaks for his Christmas get together the past year and preceded to give the entire Weasley family, Harry, and Hermione food poisoning. Hagrid had been so excited to show off his new Dragon steak recipe that no one had the heart to tell him they all got sick from his cooking.

“Yes, I do,” Harry offered. “But maybe it wasn’t his fault? Maybe he just got a bad Dragon?”

Ginny shot him an irritated look, “Charlie cleaned those dragon steaks himself.” she sat back in her chair and sighed contemptuously, “Well, you got us into the mess, so you can be the one to tell him that we don’t like his cooking.”

Harry looked at his feet, uncomfortably. He hated hurting Hagrid’s feelings, but the thought of overly charred, potentially spoiled meat and rock cakes as a wedding feast didn’t quite satisfy his appetite.

“‘Ere it is!” 

Hagrid burst through the front door with a platter of freshly roasted pork shoulder.

“—Made the seasoning and marinade me self!”

Harry hesitantly picked up his fork as Hagrid set the platter in front of him and Ginny. The meat smelled terrific, but Harry worried whatever special seasoning Hagrid decided to use would be just as off-putting as the Dragon steaks. Ginny eyed him, encouraging Harry to take the first bite.

Harry was thrilled to be marrying Ginny, he really was. The day she said yes had been the happiest day of his life; however, Ginny’s stubborn, hot-headed streak was coming out tenfold at the current moment.

“You go first, Harry,” Ginny said, amusement present in her tone, “I want you to be the first to try.”

Harry shot her a look, then plunged his fork into the pork roast. He shredded off a small piece, eyeing the freshly cooked steaming meat dubiously. 

Come on, Harry, he thought You’ve defeated the darkest wizard to ever live, and you’re afraid of a bit of barbequed pork?

In fact, he was afraid of the barbequed pork— mostly due to the fact he spent 36 hours after Christmas vomiting every few minutes. Those were memories he didn’t care to relive…

He knew he needed to take the bite soon, or Hagrid would catch onto his adversity. Hagrid stood on the other side of the table, hands clasped together as he eagerly awaited Harry to taste his prized pig.

“Go on, ‘arry,” he encouraged “I raised that hog me self— freshest meat you’ll ever taste.”

Harry swallowed hard then quickly shoved the piece of pork in his mouth. He chewed quickly, squeezing his eyes shut as he awaited a putrid taste to invade his senses.

“Hmm...”

He hummed in a mixture of surprise and pleasure. Instead of a horrible taste of char and asphalt, the pork tasted heavenly. The meat melted in his mouth; it was so tender.

“Hagrid,” he said, reaching for another bite “This is excellent.”

“Really?” Hagrid’s beady black eyes shone with pride, “You like it?”

Ginny’s eyes narrowed as she dove her fork into the meat, shredding her own piece. She looked at Harry quizzically before shoving the bite into her mouth. A moment later, her expression softened, and she smiled wide.

“Wow, Hagrid,” she said, “this is fantastic —where’d you learn to cook a hog like this?”

“Me dad taught me. A hog roast was his favorite way to celebrate holidays.”

Harry and Ginny smiled at one another as they eagerly reached for more pieces of Hagrid’s barbequed hog.

“Well, he did a damn good job teaching you, I’d say,” Ginny said, through a mouthful, “This really is delicious.”

“So, can I cook for yer wedding?” Hagrid asked, “It’d mean a lot to me, to be a part of yer special day...”

Harry took Ginny’s hand under the table and gave her a slight nod before smiling at Hagrid.

“Hagrid,” He said, “We’d be honored to have you roast a hog for our wedding.”