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It was all negligible at first, - barely noticeable, hardly even worth mentioning. But over the last five years, the dull throbbing beneath his rib cage demanded more of his attention. Infrequent pinprick stabbing turned into regular painful constriction of his chest, enough to bowl him over, struggling to catch every breath. No matter how much he ate, how much he slept, - dark circles dogged beneath his reddened eyes, colour refused to rise above the ghastly paleness that washed over him.
Wei Wuxian foolishly hoped that he would not be caught out. But Lan Wangji would have to be blind not to notice. He may be a man of few words, but he wasn’t clueless, - especially not when it concerned the former patriarch.
Subtle hints presented themselves to him much earlier on when they were still actively participating in night-hunts. The way Wei Wuxian clutched at his chest in silent agony every time he finishes performing a demonic art, or that it took twice as much effort to summon his dark energy, - and that was just the beginning. Despite his childishness and shameless coquettish ways, his better half would never admit to any actual distressing discomfort. Wangji was left to protect him stealthily and where possible, act first before the other has the chance to call upon his demonic ways.
But there was only so much he could do to mitigate the inevitable. For a long time coming, Wangji forebode that such a day would come and the debt once forsook would come back with vengeance they could not evade. Unlike the way deviation of Qi takes life of cultivators, the demonic path has malicious means of taking its practitioner’s life away, - more often than not, excruciatingly slow and painful.
“…there is a price to pay for cultivating the demonic path. Even from before time, there has never been an exception…”
“The path will not only damage your body, but your heart as well!”
Eyes clenched shut tightly in futility to repel his own words from echoing repulsively in his head. If there was a time Wangji hated being right, now would be the time.
Oh, how desperately he wished he was wrong for once.
Long lashes fluttered open to cast a forlorn gaze at the one whose head rested quietly on his lap, Wangji carefully ran his fingers through the black as night tresses as gently as he would caress the strings of his guqin.
“Wei Ying… wake up…please…” his plea was barely above a whisper but the undisguised despair was as clear as crystal.
But Wei Wuxian remained unmoving.
Not because he was being childishly juvenile with Wangji, nor was he being his usual sly coy self trying to buy more sleep-in time. Wangji would have given anything just to have another morning just like that of any other mornings.
However, life had other plans for the both of them from the moment he reluctantly agreed to the Yiling patriarch’s last request to fulfil a village’s appeal to exorcise soul-consuming spirit that preyed on young children. From the very moment they were being solicited, Wangji knew there was no way he could turned the village chief down. Not because of the righteous principles he held, but more so because of Wei Wuxian’s inability to turn a blind eye especially when it came to children.
Hence, an agreement was drawn between the two. That Wangji would allow this one last night-hunt and then they would return posthaste to Gusu’s Cloud Recesses, where Wei Wuxian would subject himself to the scrutiny of Lan Sect’s medic and innumerable bed rest. That was the agreement.
The Second Jade was prepared to do most of the work during the night-hunt. He was adamant not to allow Wei Wuxian exercise his demonic skills.
If only life went as planned.
What was supposed to be another run of the mill night-hunt became another night he was forced to add to his long list of regrets.
In his impatience to wrap things up, Wangji failed to notice a child was being dragged into the crossfire as hostage. Although he had managed to redirect his own attack on the spirit, he hadn’t the time to deflect the onslaught of attack directed at him. Nevertheless, he was unruffled by the turn of event for he was certain that with his cultivation the damage would not be fatal.
What he did not account for was Wei Wuxian jumping in front of him and took the brunt of the strike straight in the chest.
“Wei Ying!” Fear coloured evidently in his voice as Wangji caught the body falling helplessly back against him. One look at the deep gash profusely bleeding away was all it took for him to swiftly seal essential acupuncture points to prevent further internal bleeding. His hands were methodical and efficient, but his brains were far from. Between panic and worry, his mind refused to compute the next best course of action.
If not for the pitiful cries of the child in the spirit’s possession, he would have retreated without further ado, but…
“Go, Lan Zhan… save… the child…” Wei Wuxian’s words struggled to string together through ragged breath. The heavily injured patriarch must have noticed his hesitation when he pled the Second Young Master Lan to do what was right.
Yet at that very moment, HanGuang-Jun wished to hell that he wasn’t such an upright, ethical cultivator. All he wanted was to be selfish for once and to put the person most important to him first before others!
Damn all the indoctrinated teachings of Lan Sect! - he cursed inwardly as his grip around the hilt of Bichen tightened to the point the intricate carvings were imprinting deeply on his palm.
“I’ll be back soon…” Wangji promised as he reclined Wei Wuxian on the roof where they stood, before unleashing Bichen for a succession of attack. Lan Wangji’s determination to rescue the child and finish the spirit in record time brought upon a frightening side of the normally calm and collected cultivator.
But even then, nothing felt fast enough for him. The spirit wasn’t vanquished fast enough, even though three turns of his wrist for Bichen to dance through the air was all it took to execute the vile spirit that earned his ire. He couldn’t rescue the child fast enough, although he was already soaring through the sky on Bichen to return the child safely to the grateful village chief.
For every second he was away from Wei Ying, was a second late.
By the time Wangji had returned to Wei Wuxian’s side, the younger man had already fallen unconscious in a pool of his own blood.
Lan Wangji has been afraid countless times in his life. And Wei Wuxian was the very core of his fear, every time.
The time when Wei Ying was fighting alone inside the Xuan Wu beast.
The time when Wei Ying fell ill after escaping the Xuan Wu beast.
The time when Wei Ying was captured by the Wens.
The time when Wen guards said that they left Wei Ying to die on Burial Mounds.
The time when Wei Ying returned practising the demonic path.
The time when Wei Ying’s windpipe nearly got crushed in Wen Ruohan’s grasp.
The time when Wei Ying stood at the edge of the cliff.
The time when Wei Ying allowed himself to free fall off the cliff.
The time when Jiang Wanyin’s edged forward to stab at Wei Ying.
The moment when Wei Ying threw off his hold.
The moment Jin Ling stabbed Wei Ying.
The moment Wei Ying collapsed in his arms after the confrontation with Jiang Wanyin.
The moment Jin Guangyao held Wei Ying hostage against him.
Wangji could continue to count the times he has truly been afraid.
But none was as detrimental as this.
His breathing shallow, chest barely moving to take in more air. Blood poured steadily from him, despite whatever it was done to prevent more outflow. The infinitesimal pulse was near non-existent under Wangji’s blood tainted fingers.
Working tirelessly into pouring his own spiritual energy into the other, “Wei Ying!” Wangji called out, in hope to see the eyes flutter open, even for just a fleeting moment.
But the man did not so much as stirred in his arms. His still being was the very personification of calmness and serenity, - everything Wei Wuxian was not.
“Wei Ying…” he pled again, pressing his lips against the cold paling ones in hope to force another intake of air.
Wangji repeatedly forced breath into Wei Wuxian’s lungs until coughs erupted back at him.
“Wei Ying!”
After interminable seconds struggling to surface to consciousness, leadened eyelids finally lifted half open, allowing unfocused pupils to search aimlessly.
“…Lan…Zhan…?”
Holding the man closer to his chest, “Wei Ying…” Wangji could finally allow a breath of relieve.
“…the chi… child…?”
“Returned to the village…” A slight smiled graced Wei Wuxian’s lips upon hearing the news. But the fading light in those unseeing eyes troubled Wangji.
“We’ll return to Gusu at once,” said the Second Young Master decidedly.
“… yes… return… home…”
Wangji’s heart filled with warmth at Wei Wuxian’s subconscious acknowledgement of Cloud Recesses as their home. But the warm feeling was short-lived, for those words were Wei Wuxian’s last words to him before he fell deeper into the abyss of oblivion.
This time, the Yiling patriarch remained resolutely unconscious, - three days on.
And not even the prestigious sect medics could do anything about it. What they could tell him, Wangji had long been aware of.
The Yiling patriarch has no golden core, no cultivation, - no better than just another mortal being.
The demonic practice’s dark energy was living off his life essence; his body and soul would not be able to hold out for much longer.
But what good was telling him what he already knew by heart now?! He would rather hear something he did not know! - Like how to save Wei Ying!!!
Lithe fingers trembled ever so slightly and the long digits traced the outline of the sleeping face. The disturbing similarity to his earlier days as the feared Yiling patriarch, froze his blood in terror. Wangji was helpless to stop images from the past from overlapping with the present. The same bloodless pallidity washed out all colours that dared touched him. The only colour permitted on him was the contrasting blood red on his lips.
In silence, his heart cried.
In silence, his pled.
’Wei Ying… you have slept long enough… wake up please, I beg of you…’
-.-.-.-///-.-.-.-
The sun rose and sank, the waxing moon shone brightly amidst the shrouding mist on Cloud Recesses. Five more days went by, but Wei Wuxian revealed no improvement at all. Disregarding the passage of time, he remained motionless on Wangji’s bed in Jingshi.
The Second Young Master devotedly kept vigil the whole time. Other than allowing the medics to conduct their checks, he personally attended to Wei Ying himself. Every night, the sounds of Cleansing on seven-string guqin resonated with clarity in the wind, enticing bamboos to dance along with the aria. But no matter how perfectly he played, there was no hiding the despondency from the instrument that knew his heart best.
Well-practised fingers continued to strum along the strings, until a faint sound of movement disrupted his momentum. Stilling the strings beneath his fingers, Wangji paused to listen. His heartbeat accelerated in anticipation, hoping that it wasn’t just another figment of his imagination.
The unmistakable groan. The rustling of blanket moving.
The Second Jade had risen to his feet before the next heartbeat. Rushing immediately to the bedside, Wangji sat by Wei Wuxian’s side at the edge.
“Wei Ying…” he called out as he took quick inventory.
Eyes were screwed intensely shut, brows drawn in restrained agony. Rivulet of sweat formed on the forehead flowed steadily down along the neckline before soaking into the collar of his inner robe. Fingers of his right hand fisted the blanket tightly over his chest where his heart laid.
But despite his body was no longer quiescent, Wei Wuxian was not fully conscious.
“Wei Ying…!” Wangji called out again with more urgency, in hope to wake the man from his internal struggles.
But the Second Master got more than what he bargained for when the ailing patriarch suddenly lurched over the edge of the bed and threw up a copious amount of blood.
“Wei Ying!!!” Sealing his vital points with deft rap of his fingers across the man’s chest, Wangji quickly righted Wei Wuxian on the bed before moving to transfer more spiritual energy into him.
Wangji never knew how dread and relief could intermingle together to form an emotion, but that was what he was feeling right now. He was beyond elated that the patriarch was finally awake. Yet, if the price of waking was the expulsion of humanly impossible load of blood, would he had rather for Wei Wuxian remained in a perpetual coma?
“… Lan… Zhan…”
Lost in concentration to sustain Wei Ying, he did not notice the eyes fluttering open or the bunny-tooth smile he longed to see, smiling up at him. But he could hardly return the smile himself.
“Hush… You need rest…”
Swallowing deeply the bitter remnants of blood in his mouth, “Lan Zhan… don’t waste your spiritual energy on me…” he said weakly, as he feebly swiped at Wangji’s hand.
Taking no heed of Wei Wuxian, Wangji continued to steadily pour life force into his partner’s weakened body.
Annoyed by the Jade’s stubbornness, Wei Wuxian fought against his own helplessness to sit up. “Lan Zhan… stop it…It’s no use…” he argued irritably, aggravating his conditions into fits of cough.
“Hush. Don’t talk…”
“Lan Zhan!… Listen to me… I no longer have a core. No matter how much energy you pour into me, this body has no ability to contain it….” Wei Wuxian was heavily heaving each breath at the end of his disheartening blow up.
It hurts to hear the truth.
But Wangji was at lost. He had absolutely no idea what more he could do to remedy the situation. He hated how helpless he was, - just like the time at Nightless City. He had lost Wei Ying once, and that was already one time too many.
“Lan Zhan…” Wei Ying’s slightly damped and chilled hands rested over his, bringing the transferal to an end.
“Don’t…” Wangji objected, struggling to reign in his frustration and distress. He didn’t want to hear Wei Wuxian speak words of truth that he strove to deny.
“… I am the master of my own heart, I should know best… Remember?…” Wei Ying said, mustering up his usual grin in attempt to lighten up between them.
Anger flickered dangerously within the Second Jade’s twin orbs. Lan Wangji was not amused, - especially not by that particular phrase.
Wei Wuxian must have read the scowl beneath his impassive façade when he broke into a shaky laugh, “Lan Zhan... I won’t let myself die so easily...”
“You let yourself fall off the cliff...” Wangji muttered bitterly under his breath.
“Ha... ha...” Wei Wuxian dug his own grave there. But he also realised that his words hit a delicate nerve with the impenetrable HanGuang-Jun.
“Lan Zhan... don’t tell me you are still harbouring thoughts from back then…?”
Wangji neither acknowledged nor denied, but his reluctance to meet Wei Wuxian in the eye, spoke volumes of truth he would never admit out loud.
“Lan Zhan…” cupping the flawless Jade’s face in his hands, Wei Wuxian forced Lan Wangji to look his way, “… I have said this before…” He waited till the Second Young Master Lan finally locked gaze with his, before continuing,
“… I do not blame you… not then, not now…” he said with all honesty.
Wangji could only hope that words alone were enough reason to believe. “I don’t want to lose you again…”
Scoffing lightly, “Who do you think I am? Even if not the Yiling patriarch, I still am Wei Wuxian…”
-.-.-.-///-.-.-.-
However, Wei Wuxian was but a man; not God.
His physical wounds might have healed, - a little too slowly for HanGuang-Jun’s liking, but healed with no complications nonetheless. However his health continued to deteriorate steadily with each passing day. Wangji dedicated his every waking moment by Wei Ying’s side, never far from reach.
Which was the bane of Lan Qiren’s life as Wei Wuxian has always been. Instead of committing his time for the betterment of Gusu Lan clan, his once obedient nephew has turned subservient to the heretic patriarch. But Wangji did not blame his uncle for not understanding. After all, he had all but demanded for absolute secrecy from the medics to keep his partner’s conditions on the hush.
Only a handful of people in Cloud Recesses knew, - and one of which, was his brother.
“How is Young Master Wei?” Lan Xichen asked, handing his brother a cup of freshly brewed tea. It was one of the rare mornings Lan Wangji spent a good half an hour with him as Wei Wuxian slept.
“No improvement, but not declining as quickly as we feared either,” the younger of the two replied monotonously, taking a small sip of his drink. But the older Jade was not his brother for nothing if he did not notice the slight uneasy tremble of his brother’s hands.
“Continual worry will not help alleviate the matter. Neither will overexertion of yourself. If you wish you keep caring for Young Master Wei, then you will have to make sure that you are able-bodied to carry on,”
“I understand, brother…” But Lan Xichen knew his brother too well to hear the unsaid ‘but’ in his trailing words.
“Wangji, I know you care for Wei Wuxian and worry for him. But in his inability to care for your wellbeing right now, let me be concerned on his behalf…”
“Brother… I fear…” The Second Childe seemed so at lost as he internally conflicted to forthrightly confess his repressed apprehensions, “… I fear he might not…” but even so, he dared not voice it aloud.
Lan Xichen could only offer an understanding nod so that Wangji need not to continue to force himself. “Do what you can for him… He will understand….”
Benevolent words, but easier said than done.
Not even one quarter of the sandalwood incense burnt, Wangji was ready to bid his brother farewell and departed Hanshi as hastily as ‘no running’ would permit in Cloud Recesses. Most disciples were taken aback to see him outside of Jingshi. But none dared approach the revered HanGuang-Jun, which worked out perfectly to his convenience. He hadn’t the time to waste on triviality.
If only Lan Qiren understood him just as well. “Wangji!”
“Uncle…” Wangji greeted in return, but there was a near undetectable exasperation biting in his tone. He wasn’t intentionally avoiding his uncle, but he had no intention on being delayed from returning immediately to Wei Ying’s side. He didn’t want him to awaken in his absence, thinking that Wangji had forsaken him.
“Wangji! This unbecoming behaviour of yours is very unacceptable! The days spent locked up in Jingshi with the heretic Wei Wuxian has deterred you from your duties and responsibilities! He has always been less than exemplary. Now, he has led you awry as well!”
Lan Qiren’s lack of approval for the Yiling patriarch was no secret. But condemning without understanding was just plain ignorant. In the eyes of the world, in the eyes of righteous people like his uncle, - they will never find it within themselves to see beyond what they choose to see.
Yes, - his uncle should be forgiven for not being aware of Wei Ying’s condition. But it was still not an excuse for making baseless accusations.
“Uncle! Why have you not asked why you have not caught even one glimpse of Wei Ying since our return?” The younger Lan heir did not intend for the older man to know, but compounded frustration coupled with weariness might have pushed him a little too far off the edge.
The senior Lan could not say that he wasn’t slightly shocked by the sudden fury ignite within the normally composed Wangji.
“I am quite surprised myself that Young Master Wei’s boisterous nature could be contained within the four walls of Jingshi,”
“Not by choice,” the Second Jade bit out testily through gritted teeth.
Lan Qiren tossed his nephew a questioning brow, but Wangji had perfectly schooled himself again before sketching a well-practiced bow, “If nothing else Uncle, I shall take my leave.”
For the rest of his journey back, Wangji allowed nothing to stop him in his tracks.
Sizhui and Jingyi were dutifully sweeping the fallen leaves in the courtyard when Wangji arrived at the entrance of Jingshi. Regular faces of the little sanctuary he shared with Wei Ying by now, the junior Lans were the only other people privy to his partner’s condition. They were also the only people he would entrust Wei Wuxian with, on the occasions that he had to leave his side.
“HanGuang-Jun, you’ve returned,” Sizhui was the first to notice as soon as he crossed the threshold. Jingyi was quick to follow in greeting him as well. In turn, Wangji nodded his acknowledgment as he proceeded across the courtyard.
“HanGuang-Jun, the manuscripts you requested from the Forbidden Library have been placed on your table,” Jingyi reported.
The Second Young Master paused in mid step. Looking through the opened doors leading to the inner sanctum where a stack of yellowing scrolls rested on top of one another in his study, he remembered recruiting Sizhui and Jingyi to look up for qin scores in the Forbidden Library, in hope that he might find something to mitigate the declination of Wei Wuxian’s health.
But he long knew it was all for naught because if there really was one, he would have found it a long time ago, when he first snuck in there once realising Wei Ying was practising demonic art. Yet, he still got them to go on a futile hunt because he knew that like himself, both child were dying to do something for Wei Ying.
Nevertheless, he gave them an appreciative nod.
“Is Wei Ying still asleep?”
“Senior Wei woke up a little earlier than usual today. He was slightly perturbed that you weren’t here but we have already informed him that you were meeting ZeWu-Jun this morning. He was still in the room, freshening up the last time we saw him… But he might have wandered around by now…” Sizhui replied with a hint of uncertainty towards the end.
Accustomed to Wei Ying’s free-spirited nature, Wangji took it as a favourable sign that he was feeling well enough to be up and about.
“Carry on, the both of you…” he told them as he continued his way into the quarters in search of his partner.
To say that Jingshi was huge, it wasn’t by far the largest compound in Cloud Recesses. But it still took Lan Wangji a good 15 minutes before finding the other man lounging on the floor deck of the annexing pavilion overlooking the hillside bamboo groove.
Ink black hair weaved to the gentle strokes of autumn wind as the mid-morning sun cast an enviable rosy glow over the patriarch. With his eyes closed, Wei Wuxian was contentedly basking in all the serenity Jingshi had to offer. An ethereal illusion, Wangji could only hoped that was real. The Second Lan heir wanted nothing more than to pretend that Wei Ying was getting better by the day and that everything will be all right again.
But the illusion was but, a mockery of the cruel reality.
If not for the sun, Wei Ying was virtually as colourless as freshly fallen snow, - delicately pale and white, that not even his lips retained colour anymore. He had always been slender, but now to say that he was thin would be a compliment when he was reduced to nothing but a skeletal frame. Listlessness and lethargy permanently veiled the man like a second nature these days.
Wheezing coughs erupting abruptly from his chest was a harsh reminder that the patriarch was far from well.
Shedding off his white outer robe with effortless grace, Wangji swiftly swaddled the smaller man in it. “The wind’s much stronger up here on Cloud Recesses. You shouldn’t be out here dressed so lightly,” he reproved mildly, keeping his arms firmly around the other as cough continued to wreck through the frail body.
Although he was unsuccessful choking back the sudden burst, Wei Wuxian somehow managed to summon the most radiant of smile while squeezing words lightheartedly between coughs, “Lan Zhan… *cough* you’re back… *cough* How wa- *cough*... how was your morning meet with ZeWu-Jun?”
“Nothing apart from the usual… Brother sends his regards...”
Wei Wuxian merely acknowledged the sentiments with a cordial nod whilst stifling another bout of coughs.
The furrow between the Second Jade’s brow deepened gravely, “Wei Ying, let’s go back inside.”
“Don’t want…” It still amazed him how Wei Ying could retain his spirited antics in spite it all, as the patriarch whined poutingly, “I have been cooped up inside for days now… Before dark energy can take my life, I will sooner die of boredom…”
“Wei Ying!” Wangji realised that he was being a little too sensitive but he couldn’t bear listen to tactless indifference.
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying countered with his own brand of stubbornness, “…after days confined to the bed… the very least you could do is indulge in my little selfish request…”
But one could not call it a ‘request’, - not when Wei Wuxian knew for a fact that Lan Wangji would never deny him of anything. When it came to the other man, the inherently unyielding Second Young Master Lan could only relent with resignation.
Grinning from ear to ear conceitedly, the patriarch tugged at the towering man’s sleeve, “Sit with me, Lan Zhan…”
Meticulously choosing to sit in direct line of the wind path, the Jade sat close enough for the patriarch to rest his head on his shoulder. His arms remained wrapped around the smaller man cloaked in his robe. In companionable silence, they sat together admiring the different shades of autumn colouring the mountains of Gusu.
But Lan Wangji knew that tranquility was a short-lived luxury. It was a matter of time before Wei Ying started sprouting nonsense again, “Lan Zhan… I know the residence is called Jingshi, but don’t you think it’s a bit too quiet?”
And like a well practiced routine, the highly dignified Lan heir simply feigned ignorance while the other rambled on.
“Do you suppose we could move a couple of the rabbits here?”
Wangji blinked owlishly at the proposal. It wasn’t an idea without merits, - surprisingly. On one hand, the presence of the rabbits would very likely lighten the sombre mood that has shrouded the compound. While on the other hand, they could keep Wei Ying company. Moreover, with Sizhui spending much of his available time here, he could also care for the rabbits without having to shuttle to and fro the mountain side.
“I’ll have Sizhui bring a few for you tomorrow.”
Cheeks snuggled gleefully against his shoulder before a pair of bedazzling black orbs looked up at him with a beaming smile, “You’re so good to me, Lan Zhan…”
Only you - were words at the tip of Lan Wangji’s tongue but never verbalised. Nonetheless, Wei Wuxian knew; it need not be said.
Silence fell comfortably once again between them as they watched bamboos danced to the rhythm of the wind.
“Lan Zhan…”
Gone with the playfulness, the solemnity in his voice had Wangji’s full attention concentrated on the patriarch.
Wei Wuxian seemed to be at odds with himself to find the right words, but when he finally spoke, Lan Wangji wished to hell he had never said them in the first place, “… promise me that you will continue living after I’m gone… Do not grief for me like you did before…”
Revolted by the train of thoughts, “Perish such talks!” Wangji bellowed irately, cutting Wei Ying off, - not willing to listen further.
“Lan Zhan…! Promise me this much…please…” Wei Ying was beseeching for the impossible from the Second Jade. The esteemed HanGuang-Jun would have promised him any thing, - any thing his heart desired, any thing but …
Grasping onto fragments of his crumbling composure, Wangji had to internally steel his bleeding heart in order to speak. But even so, he couldn’t manage to say them without his voice cracking, “I am foremost a Lan… cannot tell a lie but honour bound to my words, as dictated by the sect rules… So, please don’t make me commit to a promise I cannot keep…”
“Lan Zhan- …”
“Enough, Wei Ying. This talk ends here. We should return into the quarters now,” Lan Wangji spoke with finality that offered no room for objections.
-.-.-.-///-.-.-.-
Days gave way to months, autumn gave way to winter. Gentle zephyr turned icy cold with thick blankets of snow covering the mountains of Gusu. Located closest to the mountain side, Jingshi had always been the coldest compound in all of Cloud Recesses. Therefore, Wangji was no stranger to the cold.
But the same couldn’t be said for Wei Wuxian. As soon as winter rolled by, his condition instantly took a turn for the worst. The cold set deep within his bones, impairing his ailing health further. Constantly attending by his bed side, it was heartbreaking to see the man once so full of life, - so weakened.
Brushing a stray lock from Wei Ying’s sleeping face, Wangji’s troubled expression darkened significantly. The patriarch’s skin was bleached white of blood, cold to touch. Lips trembled with soundless words. His rest was haunted by nightmares from the past. His body flinched and shivered from cold fear.
“Sizhui, bring more quilt…” he ordered, eyes never leaving the other.
“Yes, HanGuang-Jun,” the young disciple hurried away to carry out his senior’s order.
But Sizhui was barely out the door when Wei Ying started thrashing side to side in his sleep.
“Wei Ying…!” he called out, jostling the man slightly to wake. But the patriarch remained lost in his dreams.
Incoherent words started out as moans became louder and more desperate cries,” … don’t leave… don’t leave me!… Please don’t…Lan Zhan!!!”
Gathering the violently writhing body in his arms, Wangji soothingly stroke his back as he whispered affirmation by his ear, “I’m here, Wei Ying... I’ll always be here…”
Remarkably, at his words of assurance, - all the fight died out, all the hostility dissipated. Limbs fell slackened like puppets with detached strings, as the battered body leaned in heavily against Wangji.
“Lan… Zhan…?” Wei Ying had finally awakened.
“I’m here, Wei Ying…”
“Um…” the Second Jade could feel the other nodding his head ever so slowly against his shoulder.
Wangji was going to recline him more comfortably on the bed when fingers feebly tightened at his sleeves. Wei Ying whimpered softly, shaking his head this time, “Don’t go…! Don’t leave me…”
Wangji did not dare so much as to move another finger, - afraid of startling Wei Ying. “I’m not going anywhere… I will always stay with you, Wei Ying…” he reassured.
They sat cocooned in silence with only heartbeats measuring the precious time shared between them.
After a long stretch, Wei Wuxian started in a very faint voice, “… I dreamt of Uncle Jiang… Wen Qing… Shījiě…They all died because of me… whether they would have forgiven me or not… it is inconsequential… I don’t... I don’t excuse myself…”
Wangji knew no comforting words would assuage Wei Ying; it wasn’t what he needed to hear. He just needed to get his misgivings off his chest. But it still hurts to know that even after all these times, Wei Ying was still carrying the burden of guilt.
“Did I ever tell you... what I,... I, the great Yiling patriarch... was most afraid of?…” Wei Ying asked self-mockingly, to which Wangji tactfully replied with a singular shake of his head.
He drew back a little so that he could look earnestly at the Jade in the eyes, “…I have been dead once… I’m living now on borrowed time,… so I do not fear death… what I feared most is losing the people I love and care…”
Do I not fear the same?!… Did you not think that I would fear of losing you, too? - Wangji thought bitterly to himself as he averted his gaze and clenched his eyes shut.
He couldn’t bear to make himself watch how quickly Wei Ying was fading before his eyes. Despite the semblance of normalcy, Wangji could hear laborious breaths chasing one after another. The obsidian orbs that once twinkled with mischief was now clouded over. Internal organs were slowly shutting down one after another.
And the great HanGuang-Jun was powerless to stop it.
Wordlessly, Wangji tightly drew Wei Ying close to his chest, “I have promised to stay with you… But I want your promise, in return…” Pride be damned, he was not above begging at this point in time.
Wei Wuxian knew what he was asking for. But there was only so much he could accede, “Lan Zhan… I promise… I promise to give all the time I have left… to you…”
Wangji’s throat constricted but years of self-discipline would not even allow a sob to rise from his convulsing chest. Only a rouge tear slipped past unchecked.
“Lan Zhan… take me to your table… I want to hear you play… let me sit beside you as you play…” Wei Ying requested softly.
It was a request Wangji would readily comply at a moment’s notice, as he gingerly lifted the weightless patriarch from the bed to his study. Painstakingly, he arranged the man wrapped in thick blanket to keep him warm, before seating himself to his right.
His beloved seven-string guqin, Wangji materialised before him on the table at the sweep of his hand. Fingers started strumming the first few notes to Cleansing when Wei Ying stopped him.
“…Wangxian… Lan Zhan, play Wangxian…”
Dexterous fingers froze above the strings, hesitant to proceed. It wasn’t that Wangji has forgotten the notes to the song; he would play the song blindfolded, if it made Wei Ying happy. But he hasn’t played the song solo without the accompaniment of Chenqing since they started venturing the world together. To play their song on his own, felt terribly oppressive.
Instinctively, fingers glided nimbly across the strings. But no matter how hard he tried, endeavoured the damnedest to marshal his emotions, the melancholy from his heart could not be repressed.
Leaning sluggishly against him, Wei Ying rested his head against the man’s shoulder, - whispering as the Jade continued to play, “… Lan Zhan…to have you as my confidant in this lifetime… is more… more than I can ask for…”
Whatever remained of his resolve crumbled at the proclamation. Involuntarily, a single note was plucked stronger than intended. Another lone tear trickled down his face yet, he persisted, - consenting his guqin to broadcast all the anguish and sorrow he could not express, in the song.
For the first time ever, Wangxian was played with so much emotions that it tugged the heartstrings of everyone who heard the seven strings. Still, there was only one message embodied, a simple plea, - do not leave me, please.
As the melody came to an end, soundlessly the patriarch’s hand slumped to his lap.
“…Wei… Ying…?” Tentatively, Wangji called out.
But there was no reply.
And there never will be …
-.-.-.-///-.-.-.-
The struggle to find peace finally came to an end, but at the expense of his life. Wei Ying has lived through enough turmoils in life, Wangji was not going to mar his death with pretentious exhibit of respect.
Only the people who mattered to Wei Ying were informed.
The Yiling patriarch was quietly laid to eternal rest within the depths of the secluded cave within the Cold Springs in the back of Gusu mountains, - though the notion did not go down without a fight.
Sect Leader Jiang wanted to bring Wei Ying back to Yunmeng. But since Wei Wuxian was never formally re-accepted into the folds of Yunmeng Jiangs, Jiang Cheng had lost the rights to demand before he could even start. His own uncle objected vehemently to the proposition as well, as Wei Wuxian was not a Lan. Wangji, however was indifferent. He would gladly take Wei Ying back to Yiling, back to Burial Mounds, - in exchange, he would never return to Gusu, ever again. Lan Qiren unwillingly conceded in the end.
The remains of Wei Wuxian was preserved forever within the crystallised ice coffin personally prepared by the twin Jades; Wangji, himself carved every little intricacy on the ethereal casket. On the tablet read, - Wei Ying, Wei Wuxian, - Yílíng Lǎozǔ; son of Wei Changze and Cangse Sanren; partner of Gusu Lan Clan’s Lan Zhan, Lan Wangji; brother of Yunmeng Jiangs. And although Sizhui’s name was not amongst the listed, he kept vigil throughout the 49 days as a son would have. Ghost General, Wen Ning stood guard faithfully at the mouth of the cave.
Sounds of Inquiry reverberated from dusk to dawn, without fail. To Wangji, it was as though he had travelled back in time where he spent 16 years waiting for a soul to answer his call, - and waiting still.
The 49th day came all too quickly for Lan Xichen’s liking because only he did not know what to do. Everyone else knew their duties and responsibilities, moving forward.
With Wei Wuxian gone, there would be no one who would be able to maintain Wen Ning’s corpse. So, until his time runs out, Wen Ning will continue to guard the entrance to the cave.
Although born a Wen, Sizhui was now a child of Lan. He will continue his Xian-gēge’s and HanGuang-Jun’s pledge to eradicate evil and protect the weak. He will come pay his respects daily whenever he is within Gusu, but should he be absent, the rabbits he has migrated over to the plot of land outside the cave will keep his Xian-gēge company in his stead.
Following Sizhui’s departure, Xichen found Wangji’s solitary figure standing at the entrance, pensively overlooking the landscape of Gusu, - one last time.
“Is it not possible for me to change your mind?” The older Jade implored but he should have known by now how adamant his brother could be.
“If death was Wei Ying’s price to pay for practicing demonic arts, then this is my price to pay for selfishly wanting to keep Wei Ying with me…”
Just like their father before them, Lan Wangji had loved too deeply.
Turning to his brother, Wangji dropped to his knees and bowed reverently, “Wangji apologise to Brother that Wangji could no longer aid Brother in your future undertakings.”
“Wangji…”
Respectfully bowing again, “Take care, Brother…”
Those were his parting words before Wangji unhesitatingly turned his heels towards the cave. A permanent sealing spell was cast over the entrance; never to be disturbed, ever.
The words Wangji said to him long before, echoed resoundingly in his mind.
ー 我想带一人回云深不知处。。。带回去。。。藏起来。。。ー
I want to bring someone back to Cloud Recesses…
Bring him back…
Hide him…
The sect leader stood unmoved from his spot as he watched his younger brother retreated deeper into the cave until his silhouette could no longer be seen. He admired Wangji’s steadfastness, but it still pained him greatly to let his brother go.
To the world, Lan Wangji had entered seclusion for an indeterminable time. But Lan Xichen knew better. It was only a matter of time before death claimed his brother away to be with the late patriarch.