Chapter Text
Arthur’s hands grazed along the skin of her cheek, eyes begging for something, anything more than the answers she was giving him.
“What is it Kathleen, ey? Where you been hidin’ my love?” Her breath caught in her chest, tears threatening to spill from her eyes as his hands slowly travelled to her neck, fingers wrapping themselves securely around her throat.
“I was with my sister, Arthur.” her lips beginning to quiver as he laid his own upon them, her gasps for air puffing into his mouth.
“Your sister, ey? Your fuckin’ sister? I heard somethin’ more than that, Kathleen.”
Multiple days of morning sickness had lead Kathleen to believe that she was with child, forcing her to ask for her sister to accompany her to the doctors in order to terminate the pregnancy.
She once loved Arthur, before the war, when they were school sweethearts and times were much simpler, but now the men had been back from war for many years, and Arthur’s mental state was deteriorating, his own thoughts pushing him to inflict pain onto her to make him feel better, and then worse.
“You had my baby in you, and you told me nothing!” His exclamation only tightened the pads of his fingers around her neck, compelling her to gasp once more, her body flailing underneath him whilst his spare hand ran up to her breasts.
She was at a loss for words. What could she say? He knew he had pushed her away, but not this far, not as far to terminate her child with him.
The devil danced across his mind every second of every day, Arthur’s life the best playground of them all, and especially when it involved Kathleen, that’s when the devil had the most fun.
“I’m sorry.” Her words no longer meant anything to him, just adding more fuel to his everlasting fire.
“You been trying to find a solicitor ‘an all, yeah? You think you can get away from me sweetheart, ey?” His hands gripped her jaw, pushing her face upwards so he could leave kisses along her skin until he stopped, pulling her face back down to meet his eyes. “You marry a Shelby, you stay fucking married. You hear?” He carelessly drops her face from his hands, stepping backwards to witness the fear inflicted on her, and then damaging anything else he can get his hands on. First the lamp, then the table, the photographs from their wedding were third.
His body shuddered with rage, nostrils flaring to inhale the air in their front room, “There’s fuckin’ good in my heart, Kathleen.” Arthurs voice rumbled through Kathleen’s body, her limbs paralyzed with fear, unable to move from the shock of his emotions. His screams didn’t cease, the thrashing of his body resumed as did the noise, lights from neighbouring houses now flicking on which she could see in the reflection of their glass photo frames.
“I’m not a fucking Shelby anymore Arthur. You have pushed me too far this time and I won’t be back. Do you hear me?” Her left hand raised to grip his face as he had hers, eyes boring into one another’s and his face pushing into her touch for comfort, his rapid thoughts now seeming to slow down and rationalise. Her mouth opened, hovering dangerously close to his, “I’m never coming back.”
Her coat decorated the fold of her arm as she trailed out of the house, the lights from houses on the street quickly turning off as people whats her trail out of the house, leaving Arthur unable to comprehend the situation that had just taken place in their home.
Kathleen rushed to her sister’s house before Arthur could go on his second rampage and find her, fast unclear mumbles being thrown at her sister, trying to give her some sort of information before being dragged from her home.
“Kathleen, America is so far away, are you sure?” Her sister Jane was more than alarmed, she knew only what Kathleen had told her, and could see the rest from the forming bruises on her arms and the red marks scattered across her chest, which was more than enough for them to up sticks and move to America, but Jane felt that there was still so much for Kathleen, here in Small Heath. She loved Polly, she loved Tommy too, their short relationship before her and Arthur setting a fire inside of her tummy as a reminder.
“I need to see Tommy first, and then we will go. I can’t stay here any longer Jane, you don’t have to come with me, but I must go.” She nodded at Kathleen, words wouldn’t be enough for this. Nothing could change Kathleen Johnson’s mind.
A taxi ride that felt like forever, quickly lead the two of them to Tommy’s mansion, the maids rushing up to him to inform them of your unexpected arrival. Jane stayed downstairs talking to Francis whilst Kathleen made her way to Tommy’s office, never feeling as nervous to speak to him since she was a girl.
“Kathleen, I wasn’t expecting you.” She nods curtly at him, mouth opening to speak but her words hadn’t formed yet.
“I’m leaving.” Tommy stands from his office chair, hands lying flat over top of the papers adorning his desk.
“Leaving to where? And for what?” Tommy had noticed her tears before she had, his footsteps coming towards her before enveloping her in his arms. It was wrong of her to feel the love she felt for Tommy, even if they had been together before her and Arthur, they were family.
“I can’t stay anymore, there is nothing left for me here. Me and Arthur, we-“ She took a deep breath, “we’re done, me and him.” It takes a few seconds for her sentence to settle into Tommy’s mind, and even longer for him to come up with a plausible solution to the issue.
Every time anything had gone wrong with Kathleen and Arthur, Tommy had been the one to help her up, build her back up again, convince her it would work between them. He was able to put his childhood feelings for her aside and focus on her marriage with his brother, but it seemed that no matter how much he tried to be the extra layer of glue keeping their marriage together, something always drew Kathleen and Tommy back together. Kathleen was never disloyal to Arthur, the guilt would eat her alive, but the feelings she had for Tommy would never go away, whether she acted on them or not.
“For once, I don’t know what to say, Kathleen.” A soft sad chuckle left his lips before they were laid upon her forehead. He stepped back, allowing his palms to rub up and down her arms soothingly. Her shaking fingers reached for her left hand, slowly pulling her wedding ring off and placing it in his.
“I love you all, I love Arthur in a way too, but it’s not the same. I’m going to America.” Knowing he could not change her mind, he laid one more kiss on her forehead before crushing her into a hug again, his brain running a million miles an hour.
“I’m sorry.” His words came out as a whisper, pushing Kathleen over the edge and making her let out a sob.
“You know, Thomas, sometimes I wish it had worked between us. I wish you fought for me.” His fingertips smoothed her hair down, his own eyes beginning to water and yet another kiss planting on her head before he places his chin over her.
“I know. We could have been great.” The two of them smile disappointedly, the conversation now coming to an end.
Kathleen slowly pulls Arthur’s ring from her left hand, studying it before laying it in the palm of Tommy’s, “Send me letters will you, and hang on-“ She rustled through her coat pockets, swiftly pulling out a letter decorated with Polly’s name on the front, “give this to Pol too.” He agreed, giving her a final kiss on the cheek and an extra squeeze before letting her go. She would remember his address so that she could send postcards and letters to him, to all of them. Maybe even Arthur too.
The two Johnson sisters made their way onto the ship they bought tickets for only hours before, their eyes glancing at every small detail of their allotted room that was to become their home for a week. Kathleen’s gaze landed upon her bare left hand, the beautiful ring gifted to her by Arthur the month before he had gone to war, the second week of June as she remembered, his promise of a wedding when he arrived back left a bitter sweet sting in her heart.
She knew she had tried her hardest. Eight years of marriage, if she counted the years he was at war and not by her side, had turned her into someone she never wanted to be. She feared her husband, and just as bad, she fell out of love with him. She hoped that America would be a brand-new start for her, for Jane too. The Shelby name no longer a tie that would pull her into brewing storms and heartache.