Work Text:
His stomach doesn’t even gurgle anymore.
Well, it does, but not as much as it should, and he bites back a sigh at the fact that he knows that what he’s doing is unhealthy, but as he types out a report, he wishes he could eat something.
All he ever eats now are small snacks that you can hardly call meals, only there to sustain him and get him through the day, keep him from really starving to death.
But he’s always hungry because of it. Maybe-
No, no, he’s doing what he has to. He has to keep his ability activated, flowing through his veins, for the agency. He has to, just in case. He can’t be caught off guard. The thought makes his eyebrows twitch, almost furrow, before he corrects it. If he acts upset or down in any way, shape, or form, everyone will be suspicious. Or on edge. And neither of those are good.
His stomach rumbles, loud enough to be heard, and he feels at least one set of eyes shift to him.
“Didn’t you just have lunch?” Yosano’s voice asks, and now there’s multiple eyes on him. On the inside, he’s sobbing, begging them to look away, and he laughs sheepishly instead, a lie pouring from his lips easily.
“Yeah, but I didn’t eat too much, I wanted to stay awake so I could get my work done!” He chirps, though it’s a lie someone smart enough could see through.
So he really should have expected it, but he still freezes when Rampo calls out.
“Not true. Tell us the truth, Kenji.”
Everyone is staring now, and Kenji’s hands are starting to shake.
“I didn’t want to eat.” He says, calmly, hoping it’ll suffice.
“I gathered that, but why?” Rampo asks, and Kenji is quiet. The tension in the office is thick now, everyone waiting. Because normally, Kenji doesn’t pass up a meal.
“I… had a bad feeling, so I wanted to keep my ability going just in case something happened. It’s probably nothing, though, this happens a lot!” Kenji says brightly, and Rampo hums dismissively.
Finally, Kenji looks over at him, and Rampo is squinting at him with his glasses on and a frown on his face.
Uh oh.
“Kenji, can I be honest with you?” The detective asks, and Kenji swivels his chair to face Rampo properly, offering him a warm smile.
“Of course!”
“I think you have an eating disorder.”
Immediately, the clicking of the one still-going keyboard ceases, and all eyes are on Kenji as he freezes. He’s been caught, oh god, oh god, they’re gonna be mad at him, they-
“Kenji,” A soft voice says, and Kenji feels a gentle hand on his back, making him flinch. But it persists, staying spread over his back, thumb rubbing back and forth slowly. “Breathe. Is he right? We won’t be mad, I promise.”
It’s Dazai, and Kenji looks at him and the gentle, worried look on Dazai’s face breaks him. Tears fill Kenji’s eyes and he looks down, shaking and wiping his eyes on the back of his hand, but not responding.
“Your clothes are baggier on you than normal. You pause whenever you get up like you’re lightheaded, which could be a sign of anemia. You’ve been quieter and more lethargic lately. You’re suddenly eating alone instead of going out to eat with us. You shiver like you’re cold, but it’s summer.” Rampo rattles off, starting to continue, only to be silenced, totally shocked when an audible sob escapes Kenji.
“I… I haven’t eaten properly for a few months now. Just… just snacks.” He wants to say why, but he can’t bring himself to. He dares not look any weaker than he already does, sniffling weakly.
“Kenji. I need you to come with me.” Yosano suddenly says, sounding dead serious.
Kenji’s head snaps up, and he looks over, eyes wide, feeling panic fill him. Yosano’s firm face softens a little.
“I just need to check your weight and vital signs to make sure you don’t need medical care. I won’t do anything to you, I promise.” She says, and Kenji hesitates anyway, glancing to Dazai for comfort.
Dazai’s face is kind, and he smiles softly, hand still on Kenji’s back, though there’s a furrow to his eyebrows that express some sort of other emotion.
“Okay.” Kenji finally says softly, and stands up, freezing as he gets lightheaded, so bad he wavers on his feet for a moment. Then black slowly fades into his vision and he goes to sit down again but his legs give out on him and the black slams shut in front of his eyes.
He wakes up in a bed, wrapped in warm blankets, soft voices speaking near him. He blinks slowly, opening his eyes and looking at his arm, which feels weird. There’s a needle going into his arm, and he touches it softly, following the tube to the bag, which is clear. IV fluids, he recognizes, and slowly forces himself to sit up, the events earlier coming back to him.
There’s a soft gasp and a voice speaks beside him, calling his gaze to Tanizaki’s worried face.
“How do you feel, Kenji?” He asks gently, and Kenji looks down.
“Cold. And sick. My head hurts.” He murmurs, and Tanizaki hums gently, standing up.
“I’ll get Yosano.” He said softly, and left the room, leaving Kenji alone with his thoughts.
Thankfully his thoughts weren’t too bad, but he still spaced out hard enough that when the door opened he didn’t notice, continuing to stare at the wall.
“Kenji.”
The voice pulled him back to the present, and Kenji blinked, lifting his head and freezing when he saw Fukuzawa there, looking at him with dark eyes and a furrowed brow. He didn’t seem angry, but he still stayed frozen up when Yosano touched his shoulder reassuringly.
“President.” He managed to murmur back, ducking his head finally and staring at his lap, resting his hands in his lap and starting to fidget with his fingers.
“How do you feel, Kenji?” Yosano asked, setting a sandwich on a plate in his lap, and Kenji repeated what he told Tanizaki while he picked at the bread of the sandwich quietly. He felt cold, sick, and his head hurt.
Yosano hummed, leaving his side to grab some pain killers and a blanket for him, murmuring to him that when he eats the whole sandwich and rests he can leave.
Fukuzawa sat in the chair by Kenji’s side, watching the blonde quietly as Yosano handed him painkillers and a paper cup of water, which Kenji downed quickly, accepting the blanket when it was wrapped around his shoulders securely, wrapping him in warmth.
Quietly, Kenji started eating the sandwich, finding it to be a simple ham and cheese one. One of his favorites, actually, he half acknowledged while he chewed a mouthful, lifting his head suddenly as Fukuzawa’s voice cut through the air.
“Kenji. I can’t allow you to go on any missions until you’re recovered from this entirely. If that means sending you to a mental hospital, I will do so. But, I will let you work with Yosano to recover if you would rather.”
Kenji swallowed, nodding slowly. “I’d… I’d rather work with Yosano.”
“I thought as much.”
Kenji froze, shocked when Fukuzawa stood, and… ruffled his hair? Before leaving Kenji to eat his sandwich, despite him being shocked at the display of… affection…?
Either way, it left a smile on Kenji’s face as he quickly wolfed down his sandwich, realizing how good it felt to eat something actually substantial after all this time.
Smiling contentedly and setting the plate on the chair by his bed, cuddling into the blanket, Kenji decided that maybe it was okay for him to be weak sometimes, especially when he had a whole family surrounding him, right here at the agency.
With that soothing thought in his mind, Kenji fell asleep.