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“Don’t.”
Rosita stared at her, startled by the other woman’s inability to look her in the eyes (instead she gazed gauntly at her glass of whiskey). Wynonna, for the whole time that she knew her, had always been stubborn and courageous. And yet it was this that she was still hung up on.
“This was our plan,” the bartender argued, her words clinging to the back of her throat desperately, trying to not get emotional.
With all the energy she could muster, Wynonna finally looked up at her, showing her red and glassy eyes. “Not anymore.”
Rosita groaned miserably and set the shot glass she was holding down onto the bar, shattering it into thousands of little pieces. The Heir didn’t even flinch.
“You can’t keep changing your mind. We decided this years ago. You can’t just back out because you're…”
Wynonna’s eyes flashed with fury as she said, “Because what? Because I’m terrified? Because I’m a pussy? Because I’ve become too soft?”
Rosita bit her lip and felt words try to come out of her mouth that came from her heart. Words that would calm and comfort the other woman. Words that would… No. She wouldn’t let them get out. Anger was easier. She could fake it without any problem.
“Yeah,” she lied. “Maybe it’s all of the above. You have become ignorant. You think I’ll just follow along with whatever you say. Well, I won’t. I have a choice. Fuck, Wy, it’s my goddamn choice.”
Wynonna wiped her tears and crossed her arms. She obviously didn’t agree. There was no way that she was giving in. Not now. Not ever.
“I have the final say, Ros. You know I do. You can’t do this without me.”
Rosita knew that the brunette was technically right, but she did not back down. Not in the slightest. She knew Wynonna as well as anyone (probably better than anyone). She knew how her blood boiled.
The Revenant twitched and almost made the sound of a growl as her eyes turned red for the first time in years.
On instinct, Wynonna reached for Peacemaker, her heart almost stopping as it happened. She gripped the gun and felt as it warmed beneath her fingers. The gun wanted to fire, but Wynonna didn’t. She couldn’t shoot.
Rosita noticed her resistance and roared louder, her hands crushing the glass, blood spilling from them as if she couldn’t feel a thing. She leaned forward, snarling. She wanted Wynonna to see the monster.
With a darker, almost fake voice, Rosita muttered, “I’ll kill your child and eat her. I’ll enjoy it.”
Wynonna felt her hands move without her thinking. She rose the gun to the Revenant’s forehead, making Peacemaker light up blue. Her hands were shaking and tears flowed freely from her eyes.
“Do it!” The Revenant screamed, her voice sounding demonic and oh-so un-Rosita like. “Pull the trigger.”
Wynonna drew back the hammer and noticed as the Revenant flinched before closing her eyes. She didn’t want to see Wynonna pull the trigger. With closed eyes, all that was left of her was human in the Heir’s eyes. It was Rosita. She lowered Peacemaker and waited for the woman to realize what she hadn't done.
Slowly, Rosita opened her eyes at the persistent silence and all she saw was the guilt in the brunette’s eyes. She couldn’t do it.
“Wynonna—”
“No,” Wynonna stated breathlessly as she shook her head, feeling the urge to throw up after how close she had come to pulling the trigger. “No. Not today.”
Rosita whispered with sudden gentleness, “When, then, baby?”
The Heir glared at her and answered, “How does never sound?”
“You promised—”
“I can’t do it!” Wynonna yelled, interrupting her with ferocity and desperation. “I can’t pull the trigger. Not on you.”
Rosita’s inner urge was to move out from behind the distance of the bar and wrap her arms around the woman she had spent years with. She had to fight it. Caring for her would just make it harder.
“First, we decided you would do it when all the other Revenants were dead,” Rosita started to list. “Then, it was when you turned turn thirty-three. And now it’s today. Ali’s birthday. She’s seven, babe. We can’t keep delaying it.”
“We can,” Wynonna argued furiously. “I need more time.”
“No! We can’t risk it. We can’t do this to Ali. We can’t be selfish.”
“You can’t expect me to just kill my daughter’s other parent! You can’t!” Wynonna clasped the side of the bar, barely feeling steady anymore. She felt nauseous and empty and all she wanted was to hold Alice and Rosita and never let go.
The Revenant faltered for a second. She knew this would be difficult, but she didn’t think that it would be impossible. Though, after years of Wynonna pushing this back, she shouldn’t have been too surprised.
“So, what? You let me live and wait for Alice to get the curse so that she has to be the one that kills me? Even you know that’s fucked up.”
Alice was the most important thing to Wynonna. But Rosita? She’d been there for her ever since Wynonna found her in a tunnel, consumed by her own mind from her last trip to Hell. Wynonna took care of her, surprising everyone, and even more herself and her new partner. Rosita slowly wormed her way into the brunette’s heart and found her place at the homestead, helping her fight the rest of the Revenants and get ready to bring her daughter home. After Wynonna, Doc, and Waverly, Rosita was the first to hold Alice. And she was always there while she grew up.
“I don’t— I can't!”
“Do it for Alice,” Rosita begged. “Give her a normal life that we didn’t get to have. Please.”
“She needs you,” Wynonna sobbed. “I can’t do this without you.”
Rosita felt her heart sink and break into thousands of pieces like the glass that had carved into her skin. She was failing and the more they talked, the more she wanted to give up too. She had to try a new tactic.
“I shouldn’t have let you help me or moved in with you. What’s wrong with you to make you want to take care of a Revhead? You got your sis and Doc back and you wanted to spend time with me . Your enemy. I shouldn’t have fought by your side, killing my own kind. You let your enemy into your life and your bed and your home. Who lets their enemy help raise their child? I shouldn’t have agreed to any of it. It’s fucking pathetic.”
Wynonna knew what Rosita was trying to do, but the words still hurt. She felt them burn and fester in her chest before they exploded.
“I have two curses. Not only do I have to send seventy-seven Revenants back to Hell, but I also have to kill the woman I love. It’s a motherfucking tragedy.”
Love. It had never been said out loud. Not during the late-night snuggling and movies, epic battles against the things that go bump in the dark, passionate sex in the morning, shower kisses, bedtime stories with Alice, or any of their other daily moments spent together. They were two broken women who mended together while raising a daughter. Their love was unspoken.
The truth was, Rosita didn’t want to die. She wanted to grow old with Wynonna, get married, maybe even pop out a few more kids. But the more time they spent together, the harder the inevitability became. For Alice to be free, Rosita had to die. And there was nothing she could do about that.
Wynonna walked around the bar and found the woman stiff and uninviting as she reached out for her.
“Don’t touch me, Wynonna.”
Of course, Wynonna didn’t listen. She tried to touch her, but Rosita kept moving away. Eventually, after a few minutes of dodging her, Wynonna cornered her to a wall and Rosita had nowhere else to go. Finally, the Heir grabbed her and pulled her into an embrace. Like a switch turned off, the Revenant began to sob on Wynonna’s shoulder, unable to hold it in any longer.
Wynonna was right. It was a motherfucking tragedy.
“I’m so sorry,” Wynonna apologized into Rosita’s neck and breathed the woman in, trying to take in as much of her as she could. “I know I said I would do it, but…”
“I know,” Rosita croaked with hopelessness. She knew that Wynonna couldn’t do it. She loved her for it. She hated her for it. “I know, baby.”
Wynonna knew that she wasn’t being fair. To Rosita or her own daughter. She knew that she was the bad guy, here. But she knew nothing would make her pull the trigger.
“We’ll find a different solution,” the Heir promised her, her voice trying to sound sure even though she wasn’t. “We’ll end the curse another way. We’ll get the gang together so we can figure this out. You can stay with me and you’ll never have to go to Hell again. I’ll take care of you.”
Rosita knew that there wasn’t another way to end the curse, but she couldn’t say that out loud. She didn’t want to break Wynonna’s heart. She didn’t want to tell the woman that she loved that they would have to come back to this in a few years time. That at some point Wynonna had to point and shoot.
But in the meantime, they could pretend that she wouldn’t have to. They would love and love and love until the day came and it would all end.